2/32 Girls, if you have sex with a guy for the first time and fake it, it will never ever change.
betaboop1990
3/32 Never, ever, in a fight with your S/O, EVER use something they've told you in confidence OR their biggest vulnerability against them in a fight. EVER.
It is a nuke. It can not be undone. It will erode the trust in your relationship by the first breath after being said, even if it doesn't kill the relationship instantly.
w00thooligan
4/32 This one was difficult for me to learn, and painful to have to undo the damage: Bills.
If you receive a bill, open it right away, look at it, have an idea of what you owe, and then pay it at a set time every month (or right away).
NEVER let bills go unopened. I know I'm not the only one who ever did this, but I knew I was broke 'right now' so I let the bills pile up without looking at them. That earned me some late fees and put me in collections a couple times. Meanwhile I was going to see movies or buying drinks etc. It literally took 7 years to finally get the collections off my credit report.
limbodog
5/32 Interruptions are a part of conversation, but if more of your sentences end with interruptions than periods, there might be a serious problem.
Also, in the other direction, try not to interrupt. Listen.
LazyPalpatine
6/32 In terms of a relationship, criticism. Too many people don't know the difference between airing your grievances in a healthy way and being critical in a negative sense.
For example, "I would appreciate it if we could trade off nights on who does the cooking," or "I think that shirt might be better for another occasion," are fair criticisms. Saying "You never cook, I'm not your mother," or "You don't even try to dress up, you look sloppy!" is not productive and creates resentment. Good criticism always presents a solution or an opportunity to compromise. Bad criticism belittles the other person and shuts them down.
No one likes thinking the person they love thinks very little of them. It hurts and destroys people's self-esteem, and that's hard to get back once it's gone.
astrocats
7/32 If someone wants to break up with you - let them.
dawhoo
8/32 If you find yourself always having to make excuses for your partner's behavior to friends and family, it's a warning that your partner is probably no good for you.
delicateteacup
9/32 It's not really a warning sign, but make sure you maintain hobbies and friends outside of a relationship. The warning sign would be if your significant other is trying to isolate you from these things.
mmm_unprocessed_fish
10/32 If you feel unhappy because you are being stretched too thin and have no time for yourself, that's a sign that you need to practice saying "no" to things.
SSJZoroDWolverine
11/32 Young girls - if he is a [jerk] to everyone except you. You are not a special butterfly that can bring out the good in him. It just hasn't been your turn yet. Wait.
AmiChaelle
12/32 If your managers' managers ask you to account for how you spend all your time, or list all the tasks you do in your job, they are probably looking to restructure your department and there will likely be layoffs. Get your resume together and start looking immediately.
KitsuneRouge
13/32 Boredom at your job is a big red flag that you shouldn't ignore. Don't buy into the common saying that "everyone hates their job" or "your job isn't supposed to be fun." That's hogwash. Your job won't be fun all the time, this is true. You will have times where you will do grunt work and tedious things that you wish someone else would do (and possibly can if you get high enough in a company).
My warning to you is if you feel bored and unhappy ALL the time. If there is nothing in the job that is fulfilling you might find that negativity spilling over into your work and that is something you don't want to have. Your work matters, customers depend on it even if you don't quite see it. So if it's not working out come up with a plan to make things better while at the same time not burning any bridges at your current job.
magamaleh
14/32 If your partner often accuses you of cheating, when you know you most certainly are not cheating, it just might be possible that your partner is cheating. If you try to ask your partner if they are cheating and they become instantly angry and make you feel bad for asking the question, it just might be possible that you partner is cheating on you. But the most important thing is not to waste your life trying to stay with the wrog person for you. It's okay to break up, if you've identified that you're not a good fit. Moving on hurts, but you owe it to your future self and your TRUE soulmate, who's out there somewhere, to keep looking. Hope that helps.
jzzanthapuss
15/32 That moment when you decide to make just the minimum payment on your credit card. I didn't think it was a big deal at first, but it didn't take long for that nearly 30% interest to add up and the debt to become crushing.
man_mayo
16/32 When two dogs meet, if one puts his head over the other one's shoulder, it's likely that there's going to be a fight.
signal15
17/32 If you say 'No,' and their response is, 'You'd do it if you really loved me' -- WATCH OUT. That sort of emotional manipulation is usually a bad sign.
palad
18/32 If you lose contact with good friends because they don't keep in touch with you or make the effort, chances are they're thinking the same of you.
BarryMcKockinner
19/32 If the first thing you find yourself doing at a party is grabbing a drink as soon as you can, before even really saying hi to friends, or if you start to feel anxious when you're socializing with friends and there's no alcohol (or no drink in your hand yet) you might want to take a look at your relationship with the booze.
[deleted]
20/32 If you go on an interview, and something just does not "feel" right, listen to your gut. Don't chalk it up to your own nerves. You are picking up on something that is probably a problem with the job/company, but can't fully articulate what it is.
KitsuneRouge
21/32 If your company suddenly gets really excited about "cross-training" people, and asks you to do an abnormal amount of "tidying up your workspace" there are about to be layoffs.
gogogadgetpants_
22/32 The hardest lesson I've learned in life is how to recognize that a relationship is failing and let it go.
There are a number of warning signs that I missed. We didn't laugh as much when we hung out. We didn't spend as much time together. We fought...a lot. She seemed to care a lot less about the things I thought were important, and frankly I probably stopped caring too much about the priorities in her life.
All of this seems incredibly obvious in hindsight, but at the time it was all mixed up with a lot of really complicated emotions. We had been together for over 4 years at that point. Due to the circumstances of our relationship, I had to make a lot of sacrifices at the beginning stages that I felt on some level I was "owed" to be emotionally reimbursed for (yes, I realize this is another huge red flag).
One of the worst things you can do is carry on in a relationship with someone (romantic or even just a friendship) when it's not working. Ultimately, believe me, both parties will be happier without the relationship dragging both people down.
fdsaf3
23/32 I will say that once you start finding yourself say "yes" when you want to say "no," get used to a life without getting your needs met.
copper_pickaxe
24/32 Getting into the negativity habit. It's always someone else's fault. Blaming others for any little thing that goes wrong. Eventually you start to look for opportunities to be offended and proven right. To the point where someone does something nice for you and you ruin it by trying to figure out their angle.
Yes, some people will screw you over and some are rude and will take advantage of you. But most people are just neutral trying to live their life and a lot of people are terrific. Now if someone is rude, I just think, they must be having a bad day and let it go.
cisco54
25/32 Contracts... If a contract is confusing, doesnt make sense and is difficult to understand, theres a reason for that. You're not supposed to understand it, they want you to sign it on faith. Dont do this. This was a major cause of the housing bubble. Balloon loans etc...
Do this instead. Cross out lines of the contact that dont make sense and initial them. Circle whole sections and note "I dont understand or agree with this" and initial it. If the person wanting the signature says that just means... and it doesnt sound bad verbally, you say: "Okay but you may not be around to explain that to someone in court, that needs to be in writing in the contract." They dont want to rewrite it, they just want you to sign so things run smooth. Many times they dont know whats in the contract themselves, they just want it signed and if you make your changes most likely theyll bury it in the file and forget about it while you remain legally safe. Also get a copy with your modifications. In most cases youll impress them.
rob5i
26/32 Cigarettes. The enjoyment (if there is any) will only be in the initial phase and after that it's just a compulsive behaviour. I wasn't even enjoying it and spent thousands of dollars on [it]. Finally made me gasp for breath at times. 207 days since I quit after multiple attempts. Better you don't go through this struggle.
[deleted]
27/32 If you are getting older and you have what looks like a pimple that isn't going away, or anything new on your skin that doesn't look quite right, see a dermatologist.
Those small lesions don't hurt and you might not think they are that big of a deal. Go in. Basal cell skin cancer surgery can be extensive. We've also lost several friends to squamous cell skin cancer and melanoma.
Put sunscreen especially around your ears and neck. People forget those areas- it seems a trivial thing to do, day after day when you're younger, but future you will be so much better off.
Uvabird
28/32 In your personal life, if you start to feel really anxious or insecure with someone you're dating--treat it as a warning. With the caveat that you're not an immature/jealous person, those feelings can be a red flag that the person you're with isn't meeting your needs or that something else is amiss.
GinGimlet
29/32 People don't really change that much, except in extreme circumstances. Don't hang around/marry/work for someone who's ok but has some personality issues you really don't like, because you think 'they might change' or 'with my help, they'll change.'
Go in with the mindset that 'this is the person, as they are and probably will always be.' If their flaws (sometimes, it's only one flaw, like abusive or aggressive behavior) currently outweigh their good qualities, it's best to drop that person now and not spend months or years or a lifetime in waiting misery.
pbrooks19
30/32 This one is for young women. Never, ever let a man take care of you. Get an education, get your career rolling, and keep your job no matter what. If you allow yourself to become reliant on a man you set yourself up as feeling not only owned, but as owing. You're also less able to bolt when things go south. Always have that option of impending freedom.
[deleted]
31/32 If you ever find yourself in an existential, career related or love related (or any other kind of) crisis; only take advice from people who want you to succeed.
If you ever get two conflicting pieces of advice, don't bother figuring out who's "right". Instead apply the same thought: "Which one of these people want me to succeed?"
coffee_in_bed
32/32 If you want to move up in your company, you have to let your boss know you're interested.
Don't be afraid to let your boss know you're interested in a higher position. However, don't demand or ask for it. Don't tell them you've been doing a good job and working hard. Just let them know you're interested in learning new skills and taking on more responsibility and don't want to stagnate.
This is especially true for retail/restaurant work. The reason the other bus boy got trained to be a server or bartender and you didn't is because he let the bosses know he wanted to move up.
HorseHonk
But we should also be prepared and ready to ask the right questions to have a leg up on the competition.
"What is THE best question to ask on a job interview?"
A company's history or information about a past employee were suggested subjects appropriate for questioning.
Prior Knowledge
"When you were interviewing here, what would you have liked to know before you joined?"
"This worked for me. I asked my interviewer a question about how she had personally dealt with a company policy she had just explained. She bragged about her stellar adherence to the policy. I nodded my approval. I got the job."
A Previous Employee
"One that has always gone over well for me:"
"What were some qualities that the previous employee in this role brought to the job that you would like to see carried forward?"
"Another good thing to do is research the company you are interviewing with and you can ask things about what they may be involved in or you could drop that while reading about the company, you wondered this."
Hypothetical questions were suggested as helpful examples of inquiry.
Indicators Of How Companies Treat Employees
"A question that landed me a job once was: 'If I asked your direct reports about your management style, what do you think they'd tell me?' Stumped a hiring manager and he emailed me personally to tell me about it, no one ever asked him that question but got the job.
"In my current interviews I'm asking 'what did your company do for its employees during [the virus] to improve their day to day, work life balance, etc.' and I ask 'Is there anything your company adopted during [the virus] that they plan to keep post [the virus]?"
"These questions give a lot of insight into whether a company treated their employees well."
Past Performance & Adjustments
"If we were currently sitting in my 1 year review, what would I have done in this year for you to say I excelled in my role?"
"If I could snap my finger right now and change anything about your job or the company, what would it be and why?"
The following questions about a prospective company may not be answered from initial digging on their website.
Measure Of Success & Career Trajectories
"How is success measured in this role?"
"What are some possible career trajectories within the company that could stem from this position?"
Being A Solution
"Ask them what is the biggest problem you can solve for them in your first six months with the company. Similar to 'don't think of a purple hippo,' this forces them to imagine you succeeding in the position."
Simply The Best
"Who is your best employee and why is he/she the best?"
"You will then face 2 situations mostly:"
"panicking CEO who can't answer you 'Bob who works 17 hours a day for a slice of bread' so the fear in their faces must be a big nono for you"
"entusiast CEO who actually follow their business and can tell you who is an added value for the company and why."
– ThePiz91
My experiences with job interviews are different than others seeking work in office environments.
Having had a years-long career as a dancer, my "interview" was the dance audition, where hopefuls dance in small groups of people at a time after learning a routine and then awaiting their fate after the panel evaluates their performances.
The question I may or may not have asked in such a scenario earlier in my career was: "Did I make the cut?"
I did not make the cut. And I learned never to ask that again.
I remember the worst date I ever had. My biggest regret is that I stayed for the entire thing. I should've left as soon as I realized this was not going well, which was basically at hello. But he was paying so I drank, a lot. I'll keep names and dates to myself to protect the innocent.
0/10
Big Brother Reaction GIF by Big Brother After DarkGiphy"Went to brewery, date said I had hairy arms and that meant I was horny, said "you look really awful in this light" and then tried to dig out of that hole by saying in his native language that was a term of endearment long term couples said to each other. 0/10 did not date again."
Lucky 13?
"My wife wanted to plan our 13th wedding anniversary. I was excited because usually, I plan it. She bought us some new disc golf discs and after a quick supper, we went to play. We hadn't played in forever. We were laughing and I had a great time. She served me with divorce papers and told me that the date was a test to see if she still had feelings for me. I also learned that she was having an affair that started well before our anniversary."
- rmorlock
Two Hours from Home
"Not necessarily a date but a person I was dating invited me to his parent's house for the afternoon. He wanted to introduce me to them and show me the house he grew up in. I thought it was super sweet and had no problems going. He was also in the middle of moving and needed to pick up a few things, so it really didn't seem that unusual."
"Yeah, we got there and it was awful. His entire family was there. They traveled from hours away too. This was not just meeting the parents, it was meeting the ENTIRE family. Even worse? At some point, this idiot told his parents that he had proposed. We had been dating TWO months. I spent the entire afternoon dumbfounded and just playing along."
"We were two hours from home and I had no cell service, no way to leave at all. We ended up spending the afternoon brainstorming wedding ideas and planning an Alaskan honeymoon that his parents planned to gift us. His brother even called to say congratulations! We drove back to his apartment in silence. When we got there, I got in my car and left, didn't even bother grabbing my stuff. Weirdest experience ever. I have no idea how he broke it to his parents that we weren't getting married."
You're Cut Off!
"Got set up on a blind date once between mutual friends. She shows up to the restaurant already a little tipsy, orders multiple appetizers and only takes like one or two bites from each one. Then she proceeds to order 3 or 4 more drinks and is visibly drunk at this point. She gets up and says she's going to the bathroom and staggers off. About 15-20 minutes go by so I try to call her several times but no answer."
"Finally I decide to pay the check and just leave. About 2 hours later I'm sitting at home and I get a call from an unknown number. It's the police department. She was picked up on a DUI on her way home after she ditched me and gave the cops my number to see if I could go bail her out!"
- mox44ah
Sorry?
Bbc Three Idk GIF by BBCGiphy"Well, I gave this answer on a different topic, but it ties in with this. We were out on a date, we had been seeing each other for a while, close to a year maybe. She gets a phone call. Suddenly she looks destroyed. Her fiancé had just died in a motorcycle accident."
What in the world? I mean how can we ever expect to pair off with the dating pool being inundated with liars and nut jobs? I'm going to delete my apps.
Girl, Bye.
Sassy Beyonce GIFGiphy"Had a girl openly flirt with the bartender in front of me. She says she wasn't. But handing him her own phone and asking for his contact info in front of her date seems like it to me."
Crazy!
"Came out from a movie, late at night, and date's Camaro was stolen. Apparently, he called his WIFE (that I did not know he had) and let her know where he was and what happened. She showed up and realized he was on a date! She started chasing ME around the parking lot telling me she was going to kill me. Saved by the cops who showed up just in time to take the auto theft report."
Hey Mom
"Met a girl at a country bar one night in my 20s. We were both pretty drunk but hit it off pretty good. Ended up getting her number and we agreed we'd go on a real date. Fast forward to the date, she gets in my vehicle and... she looks almost identical to my mom. I was mortified. I was polite and we went for lunch where I found out she also had a boyfriend she "wasn't sure if she was into". Never talked to her again."
- SgtGo
Liars...
"When I was in college many years ago, before the advancement of cell phones and social media, I was chatting with a girl I met on a BBS who lived on Long Island, NY. I was 18 at the time, but lied and said I was 22 because she said she was 25. We spent a few weeks emailing each other, as well as calling each other."
"We even exchanged pics. When we finally met up, things blew up. Turns out we both lied about our ages: She was really 33, and lied because she thought she looked younger. She admitted she sent a college photo to me. We still had dinner together, but it was awkward as hell. We never spoke again."
Doubles
Kill Me Now Season 1 GIF by FriendsGiphy"It was a double date. She was more interested talking to the other girl throughout the whole thing. Found out later from the other guy that his girl cheated on him with my date."
Ummm... I think I'm just going to stay single. That is a handful of crazy. Why can't people just be honest? I swear the search for love warps people's brains. Be careful out there people.
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