2/32 Girls, if you have sex with a guy for the first time and fake it, it will never ever change.
betaboop1990
3/32 Never, ever, in a fight with your S/O, EVER use something they've told you in confidence OR their biggest vulnerability against them in a fight. EVER.
It is a nuke. It can not be undone. It will erode the trust in your relationship by the first breath after being said, even if it doesn't kill the relationship instantly.
w00thooligan
4/32 This one was difficult for me to learn, and painful to have to undo the damage: Bills.
If you receive a bill, open it right away, look at it, have an idea of what you owe, and then pay it at a set time every month (or right away).
NEVER let bills go unopened. I know I'm not the only one who ever did this, but I knew I was broke 'right now' so I let the bills pile up without looking at them. That earned me some late fees and put me in collections a couple times. Meanwhile I was going to see movies or buying drinks etc. It literally took 7 years to finally get the collections off my credit report.
limbodog
5/32 Interruptions are a part of conversation, but if more of your sentences end with interruptions than periods, there might be a serious problem.
Also, in the other direction, try not to interrupt. Listen.
LazyPalpatine
6/32 In terms of a relationship, criticism. Too many people don't know the difference between airing your grievances in a healthy way and being critical in a negative sense.
For example, "I would appreciate it if we could trade off nights on who does the cooking," or "I think that shirt might be better for another occasion," are fair criticisms. Saying "You never cook, I'm not your mother," or "You don't even try to dress up, you look sloppy!" is not productive and creates resentment. Good criticism always presents a solution or an opportunity to compromise. Bad criticism belittles the other person and shuts them down.
No one likes thinking the person they love thinks very little of them. It hurts and destroys people's self-esteem, and that's hard to get back once it's gone.
astrocats
7/32 If someone wants to break up with you - let them.
dawhoo
8/32 If you find yourself always having to make excuses for your partner's behavior to friends and family, it's a warning that your partner is probably no good for you.
delicateteacup
9/32 It's not really a warning sign, but make sure you maintain hobbies and friends outside of a relationship. The warning sign would be if your significant other is trying to isolate you from these things.
mmm_unprocessed_fish
10/32 If you feel unhappy because you are being stretched too thin and have no time for yourself, that's a sign that you need to practice saying "no" to things.
SSJZoroDWolverine
11/32 Young girls - if he is a [jerk] to everyone except you. You are not a special butterfly that can bring out the good in him. It just hasn't been your turn yet. Wait.
AmiChaelle
12/32 If your managers' managers ask you to account for how you spend all your time, or list all the tasks you do in your job, they are probably looking to restructure your department and there will likely be layoffs. Get your resume together and start looking immediately.
KitsuneRouge
13/32 Boredom at your job is a big red flag that you shouldn't ignore. Don't buy into the common saying that "everyone hates their job" or "your job isn't supposed to be fun." That's hogwash. Your job won't be fun all the time, this is true. You will have times where you will do grunt work and tedious things that you wish someone else would do (and possibly can if you get high enough in a company).
My warning to you is if you feel bored and unhappy ALL the time. If there is nothing in the job that is fulfilling you might find that negativity spilling over into your work and that is something you don't want to have. Your work matters, customers depend on it even if you don't quite see it. So if it's not working out come up with a plan to make things better while at the same time not burning any bridges at your current job.
magamaleh
14/32 If your partner often accuses you of cheating, when you know you most certainly are not cheating, it just might be possible that your partner is cheating. If you try to ask your partner if they are cheating and they become instantly angry and make you feel bad for asking the question, it just might be possible that you partner is cheating on you. But the most important thing is not to waste your life trying to stay with the wrog person for you. It's okay to break up, if you've identified that you're not a good fit. Moving on hurts, but you owe it to your future self and your TRUE soulmate, who's out there somewhere, to keep looking. Hope that helps.
jzzanthapuss
15/32 That moment when you decide to make just the minimum payment on your credit card. I didn't think it was a big deal at first, but it didn't take long for that nearly 30% interest to add up and the debt to become crushing.
man_mayo
16/32 When two dogs meet, if one puts his head over the other one's shoulder, it's likely that there's going to be a fight.
signal15
17/32 If you say 'No,' and their response is, 'You'd do it if you really loved me' -- WATCH OUT. That sort of emotional manipulation is usually a bad sign.
palad
18/32 If you lose contact with good friends because they don't keep in touch with you or make the effort, chances are they're thinking the same of you.
BarryMcKockinner
19/32 If the first thing you find yourself doing at a party is grabbing a drink as soon as you can, before even really saying hi to friends, or if you start to feel anxious when you're socializing with friends and there's no alcohol (or no drink in your hand yet) you might want to take a look at your relationship with the booze.
[deleted]
20/32 If you go on an interview, and something just does not "feel" right, listen to your gut. Don't chalk it up to your own nerves. You are picking up on something that is probably a problem with the job/company, but can't fully articulate what it is.
KitsuneRouge
21/32 If your company suddenly gets really excited about "cross-training" people, and asks you to do an abnormal amount of "tidying up your workspace" there are about to be layoffs.
gogogadgetpants_
22/32 The hardest lesson I've learned in life is how to recognize that a relationship is failing and let it go.
There are a number of warning signs that I missed. We didn't laugh as much when we hung out. We didn't spend as much time together. We fought...a lot. She seemed to care a lot less about the things I thought were important, and frankly I probably stopped caring too much about the priorities in her life.
All of this seems incredibly obvious in hindsight, but at the time it was all mixed up with a lot of really complicated emotions. We had been together for over 4 years at that point. Due to the circumstances of our relationship, I had to make a lot of sacrifices at the beginning stages that I felt on some level I was "owed" to be emotionally reimbursed for (yes, I realize this is another huge red flag).
One of the worst things you can do is carry on in a relationship with someone (romantic or even just a friendship) when it's not working. Ultimately, believe me, both parties will be happier without the relationship dragging both people down.
fdsaf3
23/32 I will say that once you start finding yourself say "yes" when you want to say "no," get used to a life without getting your needs met.
copper_pickaxe
24/32 Getting into the negativity habit. It's always someone else's fault. Blaming others for any little thing that goes wrong. Eventually you start to look for opportunities to be offended and proven right. To the point where someone does something nice for you and you ruin it by trying to figure out their angle.
Yes, some people will screw you over and some are rude and will take advantage of you. But most people are just neutral trying to live their life and a lot of people are terrific. Now if someone is rude, I just think, they must be having a bad day and let it go.
cisco54
25/32 Contracts... If a contract is confusing, doesnt make sense and is difficult to understand, theres a reason for that. You're not supposed to understand it, they want you to sign it on faith. Dont do this. This was a major cause of the housing bubble. Balloon loans etc...
Do this instead. Cross out lines of the contact that dont make sense and initial them. Circle whole sections and note "I dont understand or agree with this" and initial it. If the person wanting the signature says that just means... and it doesnt sound bad verbally, you say: "Okay but you may not be around to explain that to someone in court, that needs to be in writing in the contract." They dont want to rewrite it, they just want you to sign so things run smooth. Many times they dont know whats in the contract themselves, they just want it signed and if you make your changes most likely theyll bury it in the file and forget about it while you remain legally safe. Also get a copy with your modifications. In most cases youll impress them.
rob5i
26/32 Cigarettes. The enjoyment (if there is any) will only be in the initial phase and after that it's just a compulsive behaviour. I wasn't even enjoying it and spent thousands of dollars on [it]. Finally made me gasp for breath at times. 207 days since I quit after multiple attempts. Better you don't go through this struggle.
[deleted]
27/32 If you are getting older and you have what looks like a pimple that isn't going away, or anything new on your skin that doesn't look quite right, see a dermatologist.
Those small lesions don't hurt and you might not think they are that big of a deal. Go in. Basal cell skin cancer surgery can be extensive. We've also lost several friends to squamous cell skin cancer and melanoma.
Put sunscreen especially around your ears and neck. People forget those areas- it seems a trivial thing to do, day after day when you're younger, but future you will be so much better off.
Uvabird
28/32 In your personal life, if you start to feel really anxious or insecure with someone you're dating--treat it as a warning. With the caveat that you're not an immature/jealous person, those feelings can be a red flag that the person you're with isn't meeting your needs or that something else is amiss.
GinGimlet
29/32 People don't really change that much, except in extreme circumstances. Don't hang around/marry/work for someone who's ok but has some personality issues you really don't like, because you think 'they might change' or 'with my help, they'll change.'
Go in with the mindset that 'this is the person, as they are and probably will always be.' If their flaws (sometimes, it's only one flaw, like abusive or aggressive behavior) currently outweigh their good qualities, it's best to drop that person now and not spend months or years or a lifetime in waiting misery.
pbrooks19
30/32 This one is for young women. Never, ever let a man take care of you. Get an education, get your career rolling, and keep your job no matter what. If you allow yourself to become reliant on a man you set yourself up as feeling not only owned, but as owing. You're also less able to bolt when things go south. Always have that option of impending freedom.
[deleted]
31/32 If you ever find yourself in an existential, career related or love related (or any other kind of) crisis; only take advice from people who want you to succeed.
If you ever get two conflicting pieces of advice, don't bother figuring out who's "right". Instead apply the same thought: "Which one of these people want me to succeed?"
coffee_in_bed
32/32 If you want to move up in your company, you have to let your boss know you're interested.
Don't be afraid to let your boss know you're interested in a higher position. However, don't demand or ask for it. Don't tell them you've been doing a good job and working hard. Just let them know you're interested in learning new skills and taking on more responsibility and don't want to stagnate.
This is especially true for retail/restaurant work. The reason the other bus boy got trained to be a server or bartender and you didn't is because he let the bosses know he wanted to move up.
HorseHonk
Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.