When you have to show up to dozens of random addresses a day, you're bound to stumble on some weird stuff every once in a while. Delivery drivers from around the world came together to answer the question: What's your weirdest delivery story? Here are some of our favorite answers.
Thanks to all the delivery drivers who shared their stories!
1/16. I used to deliver pizzas for a while back in college. One afternoon I was scheduled to work, despite the fact there was a severe thunderstorm approaching and even a tornado watch. On the one delivery I had that day, I got a raging boner for absolutely no reason while driving through a torrential downpour to the customers house. I sat in my car for 5 minutes waiting for my dong to deflate to chub status. It didn't. I ended up tucking into the waistband and delivering some weird, old moustached guy a large pizza while I was stoned, soaking wet and with a boner at full mast barely concealed in my gym shorts. He gave me a good tip though.
2/16. I used to deliver furniture and me (a Jew) and my coworker (a Black guy) were carrying a sofa into a customers house to find a disturbing amount of Nazi flags, uniforms and other items. Needless to say we were both a little worried. Turned out he was just a big WWII buff and he showed us his whole collection. He even had one of the Nazi General's full set of uniforms smuggled out of Germany.
3/16. My friends refer to this story as when I got "Buffalo Billed".
I was a closing driver for a local pizza place. It was about 15 minutes to close and we got our last order. When I show up at the house and ring the door bell the guy inside cracked open the door, upon seeing me he said "oh sh*t it's a girl!" and shut the door.
I stand there another minute, not sure what just happened, and then the front door pops open again. This time three men are standing in the door frame, two middle aged, bedraggled looking guys and a dude who looked like he was 80.
The older guy then starts complimenting me, and I start to get pretty sketched out. Then he stops mid-sentence and says, "What size pants do you wear? You look like you're about a size twelve."
I was struck speechless. Just standing there wondering what was going on.
He continued, "I got a pair of pants in here that might fit! You can come in and try them on!"
After another few minutes of refusing to go into this guys house he finally gave up and paid.
He tipped me twenty bucks, then grabbed my waist and "tickled" me. Then exclaimed, "you're pretty! But you could go jogging more!"
Only after getting to my car did I realize how stupid I was for even sticking around to wait for him to pay.
Continue to the next page to read more weird delivery stories.
4/16. Our UPS man was really cool and would always drive around with a box of dog treats in the car (pretty smart, considering there are some vicious dogs out there). My dog learned pretty quickly that when his truck drove up, she would get a treat. Eventually, she learned that the treats came FROM the truck and so one day, while he was at the door, she climbed into the back and started sniffing around. She tore open the box of doggy biscuits, and another package of food, I think. The UPS guy didn't know she was back there and didn't notice till his next stop, which was far away (I lived in the middle of nowhere). So, he drove back and returned the dog. To compensate, the driver got another box of dog biscuits and my mom baked something for the people whose food my dog had eaten.
5/16. I used to work at a packie back in college, and we used to do deliveries to close residences. There was one older lady who we used to deliver to a lot, and one day I brought her case of wine to her door, and rang the bell. When she opened the door, she was in a bath robe, but it wasn't tied. I was shocked, but didn't want to be rude, so I brought the wine in and said have a nice day, trying to avoid eye contact. She then said, "Wait, what about your tip?" I turned around and she bent over for her purse and the robe just flew wide open. I saw old everything. Dear god I have tried to erase that memory forever but not all the liquor in the world could undo what I saw. She acted like nothing happened, handed me $10 and I went on my merry way.
6/16. Delivered for Papa Johns for 3 years in Atlanta.
Continue reading zany delivery stories on the next page.
7/16. One time in college at a party we ordered pizza and the guy that came never said a single word. We were all wasted and were like dudeee!! Come take a shot! So he shrugs and nods yes and comes in. Ends up getting handed two shots of jack, which he downs like a champ with no chaser. Then somebody passes him a bong and he smokes. Then we were like dudeee!! Do a strikeout (hold in bong rip, chug a beer, take a shot, exhale) and he did. Again, said nothing just put up his hand to say thanks, nods, and left.
9/16. I work for a company that delivers household appliances. A lot of our customers are larger property management companies, and we do a lot of deliveries to large apartment blocks. I have seen many places that were so filthy you wonder how someone can live there. But one in particular takes the cake...
Standard procedure is to talk to the onsite management to get access, deliver the new stuff, haul out the old stuff, get a signature and bounce. Usually the manager will follow us around and make sure we don't mess anything up along the way, but at this one delivery, a haggard looking manager told us "Go on up to the unit, it's open, I'll meet you up there later"
"Ok, no problem."
She wouldn't have fit in the elevator with a fridge, stove and two big guys anyway. So we get up there, and sure enough the apartment is open. The door was kicked off it's frame and missing. But that was just the start....
The drywall was smashed and kicked in all over the place. Pink fiberglass insulation was all over the floor. Light switches were ripped out of the wall, hanging from wires pulled through the drywall. The windows to the outside were smashed. Random pools of congealed liquids dotted the floor. There was garbage EVERYWHERE. We looked at our invoice to see if we had the right unit number, and we sure did. We decided to hang back and wait for the manager.
When she came up, I asked her if she actually wanted brand new shiny appliances in that terrible place.
"We have cleaners coming later today, can you just haul the old ones out and leave the new ones here in the hallway for now?"
Continue reading this story on the next page.
So we tucked the new fridge and stove out of the way and went into the kitchen of this place to haul the old ones out. As I'm in there sliding the range out of place, she finally lets us know what's up.
"So sorry about the mess in here today boys, but it's been a really wild few days here. You hear about that guy that took a hostage 2 days ago?"
"Yeah, it was hard to miss on the news."
"Well, yeah... that happened in here. You're standing where the cops shot the guy."
I looked down, and sure enough, I was standing in a 3 foot wide puddle of dried blood, right in the middle of the kitchen.
The most disturbing part about it was that I wasn't as disturbed by it as I thought I should be.
10/16. I delivered pizzas for 3 or 4 years. One time I had a extremely drunk guy take 30 minutes to find his check book. He fell over about 5 times, would walk into the kitchen and forget what he was looking for. Ended up writing it in crayon. I had multiple girls come to the door topless. I saw a kid holding a crack pipe for his dad while he paid in quarters. I went to an apartment once and there was a huge butcher knife in the mailbox. Once a guy grabbed me and called me a chicken f*cker because, "MY PIZZA WAS TOO EXPENSIVE." Please tip your pizza girl/guy. You have no idea what she/he deals with on a daily basis.
11/16. I used to deliver pizza for a small place in Santa Fe. Outside of one house, I noticed a very strong weed smell that only got more potent as I got closer to the house. When the dude opened the door the first thing I noticed was some very serious high intensity lights hanging from the high ceilings. That and it smelled like someone had jammed a few buds into my sinus cavity. There was also a makeshift black plastic curtain blocking off most of the living room and my view.
I did not say a thing. I was honestly too stunned. I did, however, think that I would run my grow house a little differently.
In that same town I worked at a video store where, during one staff meeting, we were told that we could accept drugs as payment for rentals, as long as we put the approximate cash value of the drugs in the till out of our own pockets.
Continue reading weird delivery stories on the next page.
12/16. I delivered pizzas for a year and a half, and thinking back, most of it is a blur.
Although I think the weirdest experience I had was an old shut-in who would tape a check to the front door, and not come out to get the pizza until she was sure you'd driven away. One time she forgot to put a check, so I knocked on the door, rang the doorbell, called her phone number, and so on... she didn't answer, so I took my other deliveries. 10 minutes later, she calls me back.
She says, "yeah, I saw you down there, but you didn't leave my pizza!" I say, you didn't leave a check. She says, "yes I did! Did you check around the back door? Sometimes it's at the back door, sometimes it's at the front door, you need to check both doors." I said I'd looked at the back door, and there was no check. She says, "well go look again, there should be one. you just need to look harder."
So I go back, and there is the check taped to the front door. Taped to the check are 2 dollars in quarters, rolled up in tape. That was the only time she ever tipped me.
13/16. Pizza delivery driver here- Weirdest delivery ever was to one of the top floors of these super tall public housing structures. Definitely not the worst in the city, but still never fun to deliver to because the elevators are slower than molasses, the tips are usually small, and public housing can get kind of unsafe.
Anyway, I get up to the door after waiting like 10 minutes in this rickety elevator, and the man on the other end of the door softly tells me the door's open and to come inside (I hate going inside people's houses, especially public housing, because 1. I am a female and 2. some people have some straaaange living habits).
Anyway, I see this guy, sitting in his chair, with nothing but a diaper on, acting like absolutely nothing is amiss, and he cheerfully tells me to put the food inside the oven. Huh? At this point, I am thoroughly weirded out, but I need him to sign the receipt. He tells me he did not order the pizza, so I need to go in the bedroom if I want my tip. The logical side of me was saying "nope. don't do it." but I will go to shameless lengths for an extra few dollars and diaper dude was pretty old and clearly wasn't a threat, just weird.
So I go into the bedroom and find another dude, completely naked, laying in bed with a pen waiting for me. WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON? Awkwardly, I kind of threw the receipts on top of him, not wanting to get close. He casually signed them, acting like absolutely nothing was out of the ordinary, and politely handed them back to me. I bolted out of there as fast as I could. $6 dollar tip. Not bad.
More delivery stories on the next page!
14/16. I used to deliver pizza/Italian food to a sex worker that was living and working out of a local hotel. She kept two rooms; one for living, one for work. If the order had two meals it would be one room, if it was one meal it would be the other. She also had a chihuahua in her living room. She would only pay in 20's and we always got to keep the change, sometimes getting us $17 dollar tips. It was great, but she eventually stopped ordering or moved out.
15/16. My first (pizza) delivery one morning was to a regular customer. His order came to 32.80. I went to his house and he had a hundred dollar bill and nothing else. I didn't have nearly enough change, so I told him I'd have to head back to the store and get change for him. He said, "how about this, you get me a hard pack of Newports and I'll throw you a couple extra bucks." The convenience store was closer than the Domino's, so it was a no-brainer. I took his hundred, bought a pack of cigarettes, and went back with exact change. He handed me three 20 dollar bills and I started by day with a $27 tip.
16/16. I'm a girl who used to deliver pizza in high school. One day we got a call for a delivery and after hanging up the phone my coworker informed me that the same man had called the day before and seemed like a creep. Greaaaaat. I arrive to his house with the pizza and notice that it is the only house that is a ways up from the street. The neighborhood isnt the best either and most of the shrubs are overgrown and poorly maintained. I ring the doorbell and this 6 foot older man wearing a yellowish stained tanktop with ratty gray sweatpants just stares at me.
He has a huge overgrown scraggly beard and just looks like a total creep. It is apparent that he hasnt bathed in a while. Then all of a sudden his dog, a weird mini black greyhound, appears out of nowhere and starts jumping all over me. The scary man doesnt even try to get the dog to stop attacking me or anything, he just lets it jump all over me. I finally hand him his pizza while trying to dodge the dog's claws and he gives me this blank stare again. At this point I realize I'm probably not getting a tip. Frazzled, I try to get out of there as fast as I can and when I turn around to leave his dog follows me to my car.
After walking about 5 feet I notice that the creepy man is following me too and all of a sudden I hear him yell "Where are you going?" as he proceeds to walk even faster. At this point I'm freaked out so I high tail it to my car and jump in the drivers seat. His dog is still going wild and jumping all over the car, which is preventing me from driving away. He then comes right next to my window and I see him try and reach for something in his pocket. Im so freaked out I can barely move but I finally manage to start the car and speed off in a panic. Ill never know what was in his pocket but I made sure we never delivered to him ever again.
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Sex is fun. Sex is healthy. Sex should be enjoyed and always consensual. But often, sex can be dangerous, especially when you're trying out new things, like a new location.
Who hasn't thought about upping the adrenaline ante when it comes to sexytime? We've all been there. But some ideas really should just stay ideas.
Why break a hip or an arm just to make things a little more saucy? Just try a different room in the house, or the backyard, but bring bug spray.
And some areas in public are safety hazards for a reason.
Redditor u/playfulinvestment01 wanted to know about all the places we need to avoid when it's sexytime, by asking:
What is the worst place you had sex?
I can tell you from experience that airplanes are not a good idea. Don't ask me how I know. A lady never kisses and tells, but highlights are ok. There will never be enough room and the movies are lying.
Like Glue...Melissa Mccarthy Falling GIFGiphy
"I lived in Australia for a bit and our studio had this black pleather couch. It looked exactly like that casting couch meme so we tried it for fun once. My ex sweats a lot even when it's not 40C out, but it was and we stuck to the couch like glue."
"On a hike in a wildlife refuge. We went off the trail to a more remote area. Was all fun and games tell I got stung on the penis. Was after the event had ended when I was briefly exposed, the little moron went right at me. We joke about it regularly, I'd say it comes up monthly. Just out of the blue she will say "hey remember when you got stung on your penis?" Yes, I remember and will never forget."
Up a Tree
"A "treehouse" that was actually a plywood shack on 6' stilts. It was pretty old and the plywood was splintery, so he laid down an old towel for me (you know, like a gentleman.) Also it was too small for me to fit in any direction, so my head stuck out the door. I stared at the sky and just... And that's the story of how I lost my virginity! A close second would be the bed in his semi-abandoned house full of the semi-abandoned hoarded belongings of his mother. But that's a different story."
"Met a girl online and we tried to do it at the park. A cop showed up before we started and told us we had to leave. We went back to our cars which was at a small shopping mall. We went behind the shopping mall and got it on behind a dumpster. It worked out well so we met up there again a week later. Except that time, as we were walking away, a dump truck picked the dumpster to empty the trash. Was hilarious at the time but frightening looking back on it. This was about 10 years ago."
Keyed OffPiano Performing GIFGiphy
"I don't recommend on top of a piano. Very uncomfortable and not at all the experience we envisioned."
Scratchy...Screaming The Voice GIF by NBCGiphy
"Bottom of cliff next to the ocean. Turns out I have an allergic reaction to coral and my back was scratched the hell up from it. It was windy, wet, and itchy. Runner up is a movie theatre."
"In a literal smoke house... lost my virginity with about 50 rings of deer sausage hanging around to dry. My friend and his dad were gone and we were like "this seems like a great place!" At least when I went home I smelled like venison instead of sex."
"I'm not sure if this counts because we didn't get very far. But In a Burger King parking lot… He had a car, so we would park it someplace and hook up in the tiny little two-seater. I was sitting astride him and most of my clothes were off when he froze. I looked over my shoulder and the once abandoned parking lot was abandoned no more. A family of four were just staring at us through the windshield. We didn't know what to do so I just put my shirt back on and we drove away."
"we can hear everything"
"My childhood house had an enclosed porch that was level with my parents' bedroom window (it's hard to explain). You couldn't see into the porch from the window, but if the porch windows were open and the bedroom windows were open you could hear everything from either room."
"So my now husband and I were trying to have sex in that porch, having opened the windows cuz it was hot AH. My parents usually never opened their window and it was past ten, when they usually went to sleep. We weren't trying to be loud, but apparently we were."
"After we were done, I checked my phone and I had 5 missed calls and a text from my mother saying "we can hear everything" and "please at least use a condom". We didn't acknowledge it at the time but my mom got drunk a few years ago and told my aunt the story and said she was worried she was hearing the conception of her grandchild."
Ivy!jerry seinfeld help GIF by HULUGiphy
"After a drunken night on 6th st in Austin, girl and I were walking down red river st, she drags me in this bushy grassy area, we go at it, finish, call an Uber to west campus, continue going at it. The next day, we are super itchy, come to find later it was poison ivy, got it all over our genitals. Fun times. 10/10 would do it again though."
Also, be careful when and if you do it on a bus. You're never fully out of the driver's line of sight. Don't ask me how I know, I just do. Be careful out there but have fun.
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Being a parent is one of the greatest challenges you'll face.
What did your parents do to you that made you promise that you would never do that to your own children?
You won't be in charge of your child forever. At some point, they're going to go out into the larger world, interact with other people, and suddenly all those little tics and quirks they developed at home will start to hamper their social progress.
Never Able To Hit The Pick-Up Time
"They always had me late or last minute to everything. I'll never do that to my kids because, having it done to me, I know it's all the parents fault."
"That feeling, when you are the last kid to be picked up after a school event that they didn't attend, and my teacher asking if I called, and if she said she was on her way, and how far away we lived, and then a big sigh while we continued to wait, in the dark, outside school, after everyone else has gone home, and me just wanting to disappear."
Forcing Them To Miss Out
"I was never allowed to hang out with friends outside of school. I had to go straight home and couldn't stay and hang out or go over to friends houses after school or on weekends. This went well into my senior year of high school. It sucked constantly feeling like I was missing out growing up."
Definition Of Overprotection
"Isolate them from the world."
"Growing up I see now that they wanted to protect me from how sh-tty things were, but now I feel a useless idiot. If I would've known as a kid that I had violent gang-related family, addicts, or that we were on welfare I could've found a desire to do better."
Taking on the care and responsibility of raising another human being to be a smart, compassionate, and well-meaning member of society shouldn't be easy. It should be a challenge.
Downplaying Their Accomplishments
"My parents never thought anything I did was a big deal. I LOVED art class but I remember showing my mom artwork and she'd tell me she could make that herself, ok thanks."
"Ouch, this brought back a painful memory. I always loved to sing but I was shy. I was also bullied and made fun of quite a bit. In highschool I finally joined choir and it helped me come into my own. I won first place awards at State Solo and Ensemble competition, student of the year in choir and even the Directors Award which was the highest honor given. My mom came to none of my performances. Not until Senior Night when I was the only performer singing a solo. I did the cliche song...Memory from the musical Cats. I got a standing ovation!"
"People who would typically refuse to speak to me approached me to tell me that they never would've dreamed I had that big, powerful, voice in me. I was just about floating with happiness and pride when I walked up to my mom and asked her what she thought. Her face twisted like she'd bit a lemon and she wiped out all my good feelings with the words, "Well, it probably isn't a good song for you. You sound like you were ATTEMPTING to sing opera and it's not supposed to sound like that."
Saying They Don't Quite Stack Up
"Compare them to other kids!!"
"This needs to be higher up. It's soooo insidious. Undermines so much about you, engenders the tendency for you to compare yourself to others, makes you needlessly resent the people they compare you to, but most of all, creates a sense that you'll never measure up or be 'good enough', not just for them, but in general."
Unable To Keep Their Minds At Peace
"The amount of anxiety I have/had from money related things is ridiculous. We were never poor, we were broke they just made bad decision after bad decision putting us in a stupid amount of debt"
Perhaps the most important part to remember when raising a child some adults might forget: You are the adult. Deal with your adult matters and let your child be a child. Don't bring them into your petty squabbles or unresolved affairs.
"My parents refused to address issues between my sister and myself. They hate conflict, so it was easier for them to guilt me into doing whatever my sister wanted and then praise me for being "good" than to ever put her in line. Being praised for always giving up what you want can really mess you up."
Lashing Out At The Other
"My parents were divorced since before I can remember. They did not get along very well when I was a kid. There was one weekend in particular where on the way to drop me off my Dad told me "whatever you do, don't end up like your Mother." Get home to Mom, she tells me "whatever you do, don't end up like your Dad." Best advice either of them ever gave me."
Asking The Child To Be The Adult
"They made their problems into problems for the whole family."
"They pulled us into everything. That's not fair to a kid. F-ck, I was straight out asked to fix things between them sometimes. No kid should be even the remotest bit responsible for their parent's relationship or fixing things that are wrong between them. That's f-cked up."
"We all have problems. We're human. No one expects perfection. But if you have a problem with your wife/husband? Don't bring the kid into it. Don't make it the kids' problem. Don't make the pain of the household -- which they're going to feel anyway -- somehow the kid's fault."
Don't want kids? Don't have kids.
Want kids? Be prepared to do everything you can to make sure that child has a supportive, strong upbringing. Don't let the mistakes of the past become the present.
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Animated movies meant for children have been known to sneak in a few dirty jokes here and there. After all, the parents have to sit through the movies with the kids too.
These "Easter eggs" can be found in virtually every movie meant for kids. It may go over our heads when we watch at age 10, but years later when we re-watch to enjoy a bit of nostalgia, we realize just how raunchy the creators were.
It's not just old movies from the 90s or early 2000s, some movies as recent as Frozen 2 have some moments of adult centered levity.
Redditor Pooky135790 wanted to know:
"What are the best adult jokes that are hidden in kids movies?"
These scenes really had us rolling.
Shrek definitely has a few innuendos.
"In Shrek talking about Snow White:"
"'Although she lives with 7 other men, she's not easy.'"
"Gets me every time!"
"The whole Duloc opening scene with the singing puppets. 'Please keep off of the grass, shine your shoes, wipe your…….face.'"
"Also in Shrek: when they get to Farquuad's castle, they note the large size of it, and Shrek asks if Farquuad is compensating for something."
"Kids will think it's a joke about his height."
"Adults will think it's a joke about his other kind of height."Giphy
Cars had plenty of jokes.
"In Cars when the two Miata ladies flash their pop-ups at McQueen"
"I didn't realize for years that that was the connotation."
"Look at that scene again and look at the photographers behind Mia."
"It took me a second but I think the one directly in the middle is zooming in on their posteriors lmfao."
- -Paintlightning mcqueen car GIF by Disney PixarGiphy
"Also the Piston Cup. 'He did what in his cup?!' Funny enough 10 year old me got that and my dad didn't."
Robots had it's fair share of moments.
"In Robots the [father of the] main character and his wife get the parts for their robot child and exclaim, 'Making the baby's the fun part!'"
"Also the old lady bot, Aunt Fanny, has a lot of junk in her trunk."
"There is that one scene from Ratatouille, when Linguini is about to confess about how Remy is in his hat cooking for him, and says 'I... have... a little... tiny...' and right after he says tiny, Collette quickly glances down at his pants. I never even noticed it until someone pointed it out to me because it is pretty subtle and can be easy to miss."
"Seriously the best dick joke in a kid's movie."
"That and the time when the short lil chef guy catches linguini in the pantry and says, 'One can become to familiar with vegetables, you know!'"Giphy
Coco really went there!
"In Coco, everybody laughs when they say Hector died 'choking on chorizo.'"
"'Choking on chorizo' is Mexican slang for sucking d*ck."
"I mean the song Hector sings to his dying friend has the implied, but not spoken, lyrics: 'And her tits they drag on the floor...' (he says 'knuckles' but the guy shouts, 'those aren't the words!')."
What a forgotten gem Monster House was.
"'That's it's uvula!' 'Oh.... So it's a girl house....'"
"Rick and Morty gets a lot of hate around here because of the sh*tty fan base, but Dan Harmon is a genuinely funny writer."
"Could not BELIEVE Dan Harmon was a writer on this 'til I googled Monster House; your point is a good one lol."
Even in Frozen.
"'Foot size doesn't matter' - when Anna from Frozen talks about her fiancé."
"Frozen 2, 'I like you better in leather anyway' when Kristoff dresses up for Anna at the end."
"My boyfriend and roommate and I all watched it and all three of us spat our drinks at that and we all did the 'Did we just hear what we think we heard?' look. Then we laughed for like 10 solid minutes."
Not a movie, but still good.
"There was an episode of Dexter's laboratory where the father kept going on about Dexter's mother's muffin, and saying he only married her for her muffin. The whole episode was filled with innuendo."
"'Your father is a muffin fiend, a muff-o-maniac, just the aroma can make him crazy.' Lol. Had to see it for myself."
"Season 2 ep 18 The Muffin King."
"There was the episode about DeeDee and Dexter having decoder rings! DeeDee says Dexter's club is for big 'I-D-K-S-C' Dexter decodes it, gasps, and says he's gonna tell mom. Lol."Giphy
Children's shows may be for kids entertainment, but they're created by adults. No doubt they're going to slip in a few naughty jokes here and there.
Time to re-watch some old favorites and see what we missed when we were younger.
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It's well-known that the brain of a teenager is a half-formed thing. But that doesn't stop us from getting down ourselves for those old mistakes even years later, as full-blown adults.
Injuries, social falling outs, bad habits started and good habits stopped--all are ripe for putting a knot in our stomachs a decade or more later.
Truly, a big part of adulthood is learning to accept and live with yourself, warts and all.
And many of those warts are composed of mistakes that you can never undo.
Redditor zepher_goose asked:
"Which mistake did you make as a teenager that is still biting you in the a**?"
Many Redditors talked about the things they did that left them with a very direct, long-lasting physical difficulties. Often, the mistake was a single moment, but its consequences go on for years.
"Not wearing my seatbelt. At least my wheelchair is fast." -- CrippleOverlord
"So sorry buddy. I hate that you had to learn that lesson in that way. Best of luck to you." -- ai_test_run
Choose Your Object Wisely
"Punching a wall. Hit the stud. The fracture in my hand didn't properly heal as well as losing the use of two of my tendons which makes opening my hand a nuisance. As you could imagine it was my dominant hand. My life isn't hell from it but boy If I could go back in time to my teenage years, that's when I'd go."
"Please please please!!!! If you ever feel like you need to hit something for whatever reason please hit something soft and not living, like a pillow. Your delicate hands will thank you down the road."
Decades of Healing
"Sharing needles with other people (when I was 16)."
"Spent the next 40 years with Hepatitis C and did two unsuccessful Interferon treatments that lasted a total of 22 months. Fortunately, got cured in 2015 with a 90 day treatment of Harvoni, but still, I spent a lot of time effort during some very important years trying to get well."
That Faint Hissing
"Listened to music way too loud and now i have tinnitus forever. Still hate myself for that one..." -- elgherkin
"Tinnitus is one of those things that before you have it you're like, 'How bad can it be?' But once you have it...." -- Aradne
Others discussed the awful habits they started as teenagers without much forethought for how difficult it was going to be to stop later on.
How They Get Ya
"Nicotine. Smoked a pack a day for almost 15 years, started when I was 16-17 Finally quit 100% about a year ago when my wife and I found out we were expecting."
"I've been really good, and haven't had a single smoke, but I'm not gonna lie, at least once a day I think 'damn a cigarette would be good right now' "
What Is and What Could Have Been
"Gambling excessively, that sh** is dangerous man, just don't do it." -- Hazzmeister72
"Man, had I not been gambling (sports gambling mostly) since 2001 I'd have had a house since 2012 at the latest. Finally got the strength to quit Feb 2020, right before Covid. My bank account has never been so healthy. Fu** gambling" -- lawdhavmercee
Fleeting and Cheap
"Developing a drug habit. So much wasted time and money on short lived experiences." -- Glittering_Cup9438
"I feel you my friend....and a lot of memories you don't even remember." -- TouchDaPhishy
Finally, some zeroed in on the decisions they made, be it socially or professionally, that have had intangible impacts on their well-being and lifestyles.
Find Your Niche
"Not asking my parents for help with finding things I really enjoyed doing. I think maybe if I'd joined a chess club or something like that, I'd actually have had a lot more fun and made some friends."
"I was really lonely for a long time and it wasn't easy to make up for the lack of social development during those important years."
"I said a lot of stupid sh** with my actual name as the username on social media. Thankfully I have a common name but it will be in the back of my head for the rest of my life."
The Harder Way
"Dropping out of college to get married. Going back in my 30s with adult responsibilities and a full time job was the most chaotic time of my life." -- dogandbutterfly1978
"I'll be 31 with 2 kids (a 2 year old and a one year old) when I get be BS next May...I fu**in feel ya on that one." -- SCViper
This list illustrates the first step in getting over it: naming the monkey on your back. Then comes the harder part: letting it go.