When you have to show up to dozens of random addresses a day, you're bound to stumble on some weird stuff every once in a while. Delivery drivers from around the world came together to answer the question: What's your weirdest delivery story? Here are some of our favorite answers.
Thanks to all the delivery drivers who shared their stories!
1/16. I used to deliver pizzas for a while back in college. One afternoon I was scheduled to work, despite the fact there was a severe thunderstorm approaching and even a tornado watch. On the one delivery I had that day, I got a raging boner for absolutely no reason while driving through a torrential downpour to the customers house. I sat in my car for 5 minutes waiting for my dong to deflate to chub status. It didn't. I ended up tucking into the waistband and delivering some weird, old moustached guy a large pizza while I was stoned, soaking wet and with a boner at full mast barely concealed in my gym shorts. He gave me a good tip though.
2/16. I used to deliver furniture and me (a Jew) and my coworker (a Black guy) were carrying a sofa into a customers house to find a disturbing amount of Nazi flags, uniforms and other items. Needless to say we were both a little worried. Turned out he was just a big WWII buff and he showed us his whole collection. He even had one of the Nazi General's full set of uniforms smuggled out of Germany.
3/16. My friends refer to this story as when I got "Buffalo Billed".
I was a closing driver for a local pizza place. It was about 15 minutes to close and we got our last order. When I show up at the house and ring the door bell the guy inside cracked open the door, upon seeing me he said "oh sh*t it's a girl!" and shut the door.
I stand there another minute, not sure what just happened, and then the front door pops open again. This time three men are standing in the door frame, two middle aged, bedraggled looking guys and a dude who looked like he was 80.
The older guy then starts complimenting me, and I start to get pretty sketched out. Then he stops mid-sentence and says, "What size pants do you wear? You look like you're about a size twelve."
I was struck speechless. Just standing there wondering what was going on.
He continued, "I got a pair of pants in here that might fit! You can come in and try them on!"
After another few minutes of refusing to go into this guys house he finally gave up and paid.
He tipped me twenty bucks, then grabbed my waist and "tickled" me. Then exclaimed, "you're pretty! But you could go jogging more!"
Only after getting to my car did I realize how stupid I was for even sticking around to wait for him to pay.
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4/16. Our UPS man was really cool and would always drive around with a box of dog treats in the car (pretty smart, considering there are some vicious dogs out there). My dog learned pretty quickly that when his truck drove up, she would get a treat. Eventually, she learned that the treats came FROM the truck and so one day, while he was at the door, she climbed into the back and started sniffing around. She tore open the box of doggy biscuits, and another package of food, I think. The UPS guy didn't know she was back there and didn't notice till his next stop, which was far away (I lived in the middle of nowhere). So, he drove back and returned the dog. To compensate, the driver got another box of dog biscuits and my mom baked something for the people whose food my dog had eaten.
5/16. I used to work at a packie back in college, and we used to do deliveries to close residences. There was one older lady who we used to deliver to a lot, and one day I brought her case of wine to her door, and rang the bell. When she opened the door, she was in a bath robe, but it wasn't tied. I was shocked, but didn't want to be rude, so I brought the wine in and said have a nice day, trying to avoid eye contact. She then said, "Wait, what about your tip?" I turned around and she bent over for her purse and the robe just flew wide open. I saw old everything. Dear god I have tried to erase that memory forever but not all the liquor in the world could undo what I saw. She acted like nothing happened, handed me $10 and I went on my merry way.
6/16. Delivered for Papa Johns for 3 years in Atlanta.
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7/16. One time in college at a party we ordered pizza and the guy that came never said a single word. We were all wasted and were like dudeee!! Come take a shot! So he shrugs and nods yes and comes in. Ends up getting handed two shots of jack, which he downs like a champ with no chaser. Then somebody passes him a bong and he smokes. Then we were like dudeee!! Do a strikeout (hold in bong rip, chug a beer, take a shot, exhale) and he did. Again, said nothing just put up his hand to say thanks, nods, and left.
9/16. I work for a company that delivers household appliances. A lot of our customers are larger property management companies, and we do a lot of deliveries to large apartment blocks. I have seen many places that were so filthy you wonder how someone can live there. But one in particular takes the cake...
Standard procedure is to talk to the onsite management to get access, deliver the new stuff, haul out the old stuff, get a signature and bounce. Usually the manager will follow us around and make sure we don't mess anything up along the way, but at this one delivery, a haggard looking manager told us "Go on up to the unit, it's open, I'll meet you up there later"
"Ok, no problem."
She wouldn't have fit in the elevator with a fridge, stove and two big guys anyway. So we get up there, and sure enough the apartment is open. The door was kicked off it's frame and missing. But that was just the start....
The drywall was smashed and kicked in all over the place. Pink fiberglass insulation was all over the floor. Light switches were ripped out of the wall, hanging from wires pulled through the drywall. The windows to the outside were smashed. Random pools of congealed liquids dotted the floor. There was garbage EVERYWHERE. We looked at our invoice to see if we had the right unit number, and we sure did. We decided to hang back and wait for the manager.
When she came up, I asked her if she actually wanted brand new shiny appliances in that terrible place.
"We have cleaners coming later today, can you just haul the old ones out and leave the new ones here in the hallway for now?"
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So we tucked the new fridge and stove out of the way and went into the kitchen of this place to haul the old ones out. As I'm in there sliding the range out of place, she finally lets us know what's up.
"So sorry about the mess in here today boys, but it's been a really wild few days here. You hear about that guy that took a hostage 2 days ago?"
"Yeah, it was hard to miss on the news."
"Well, yeah... that happened in here. You're standing where the cops shot the guy."
I looked down, and sure enough, I was standing in a 3 foot wide puddle of dried blood, right in the middle of the kitchen.
The most disturbing part about it was that I wasn't as disturbed by it as I thought I should be.
10/16. I delivered pizzas for 3 or 4 years. One time I had a extremely drunk guy take 30 minutes to find his check book. He fell over about 5 times, would walk into the kitchen and forget what he was looking for. Ended up writing it in crayon. I had multiple girls come to the door topless. I saw a kid holding a crack pipe for his dad while he paid in quarters. I went to an apartment once and there was a huge butcher knife in the mailbox. Once a guy grabbed me and called me a chicken f*cker because, "MY PIZZA WAS TOO EXPENSIVE." Please tip your pizza girl/guy. You have no idea what she/he deals with on a daily basis.
11/16. I used to deliver pizza for a small place in Santa Fe. Outside of one house, I noticed a very strong weed smell that only got more potent as I got closer to the house. When the dude opened the door the first thing I noticed was some very serious high intensity lights hanging from the high ceilings. That and it smelled like someone had jammed a few buds into my sinus cavity. There was also a makeshift black plastic curtain blocking off most of the living room and my view.
I did not say a thing. I was honestly too stunned. I did, however, think that I would run my grow house a little differently.
In that same town I worked at a video store where, during one staff meeting, we were told that we could accept drugs as payment for rentals, as long as we put the approximate cash value of the drugs in the till out of our own pockets.
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12/16. I delivered pizzas for a year and a half, and thinking back, most of it is a blur.
Although I think the weirdest experience I had was an old shut-in who would tape a check to the front door, and not come out to get the pizza until she was sure you'd driven away. One time she forgot to put a check, so I knocked on the door, rang the doorbell, called her phone number, and so on... she didn't answer, so I took my other deliveries. 10 minutes later, she calls me back.
She says, "yeah, I saw you down there, but you didn't leave my pizza!" I say, you didn't leave a check. She says, "yes I did! Did you check around the back door? Sometimes it's at the back door, sometimes it's at the front door, you need to check both doors." I said I'd looked at the back door, and there was no check. She says, "well go look again, there should be one. you just need to look harder."
So I go back, and there is the check taped to the front door. Taped to the check are 2 dollars in quarters, rolled up in tape. That was the only time she ever tipped me.
13/16. Pizza delivery driver here- Weirdest delivery ever was to one of the top floors of these super tall public housing structures. Definitely not the worst in the city, but still never fun to deliver to because the elevators are slower than molasses, the tips are usually small, and public housing can get kind of unsafe.
Anyway, I get up to the door after waiting like 10 minutes in this rickety elevator, and the man on the other end of the door softly tells me the door's open and to come inside (I hate going inside people's houses, especially public housing, because 1. I am a female and 2. some people have some straaaange living habits).
Anyway, I see this guy, sitting in his chair, with nothing but a diaper on, acting like absolutely nothing is amiss, and he cheerfully tells me to put the food inside the oven. Huh? At this point, I am thoroughly weirded out, but I need him to sign the receipt. He tells me he did not order the pizza, so I need to go in the bedroom if I want my tip. The logical side of me was saying "nope. don't do it." but I will go to shameless lengths for an extra few dollars and diaper dude was pretty old and clearly wasn't a threat, just weird.
So I go into the bedroom and find another dude, completely naked, laying in bed with a pen waiting for me. WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON? Awkwardly, I kind of threw the receipts on top of him, not wanting to get close. He casually signed them, acting like absolutely nothing was out of the ordinary, and politely handed them back to me. I bolted out of there as fast as I could. $6 dollar tip. Not bad.
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14/16. I used to deliver pizza/Italian food to a sex worker that was living and working out of a local hotel. She kept two rooms; one for living, one for work. If the order had two meals it would be one room, if it was one meal it would be the other. She also had a chihuahua in her living room. She would only pay in 20's and we always got to keep the change, sometimes getting us $17 dollar tips. It was great, but she eventually stopped ordering or moved out.
15/16. My first (pizza) delivery one morning was to a regular customer. His order came to 32.80. I went to his house and he had a hundred dollar bill and nothing else. I didn't have nearly enough change, so I told him I'd have to head back to the store and get change for him. He said, "how about this, you get me a hard pack of Newports and I'll throw you a couple extra bucks." The convenience store was closer than the Domino's, so it was a no-brainer. I took his hundred, bought a pack of cigarettes, and went back with exact change. He handed me three 20 dollar bills and I started by day with a $27 tip.
16/16. I'm a girl who used to deliver pizza in high school. One day we got a call for a delivery and after hanging up the phone my coworker informed me that the same man had called the day before and seemed like a creep. Greaaaaat. I arrive to his house with the pizza and notice that it is the only house that is a ways up from the street. The neighborhood isnt the best either and most of the shrubs are overgrown and poorly maintained. I ring the doorbell and this 6 foot older man wearing a yellowish stained tanktop with ratty gray sweatpants just stares at me.
He has a huge overgrown scraggly beard and just looks like a total creep. It is apparent that he hasnt bathed in a while. Then all of a sudden his dog, a weird mini black greyhound, appears out of nowhere and starts jumping all over me. The scary man doesnt even try to get the dog to stop attacking me or anything, he just lets it jump all over me. I finally hand him his pizza while trying to dodge the dog's claws and he gives me this blank stare again. At this point I realize I'm probably not getting a tip. Frazzled, I try to get out of there as fast as I can and when I turn around to leave his dog follows me to my car.
After walking about 5 feet I notice that the creepy man is following me too and all of a sudden I hear him yell "Where are you going?" as he proceeds to walk even faster. At this point I'm freaked out so I high tail it to my car and jump in the drivers seat. His dog is still going wild and jumping all over the car, which is preventing me from driving away. He then comes right next to my window and I see him try and reach for something in his pocket. Im so freaked out I can barely move but I finally manage to start the car and speed off in a panic. Ill never know what was in his pocket but I made sure we never delivered to him ever again.
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