When you have to show up to dozens of random addresses a day, you're bound to stumble on some weird stuff every once in a while. Delivery drivers from around the world came together to answer the question: What's your weirdest delivery story? Here are some of our favorite answers.
Thanks to all the delivery drivers who shared their stories!
1/16. I used to deliver pizzas for a while back in college. One afternoon I was scheduled to work, despite the fact there was a severe thunderstorm approaching and even a tornado watch. On the one delivery I had that day, I got a raging boner for absolutely no reason while driving through a torrential downpour to the customers house. I sat in my car for 5 minutes waiting for my dong to deflate to chub status. It didn't. I ended up tucking into the waistband and delivering some weird, old moustached guy a large pizza while I was stoned, soaking wet and with a boner at full mast barely concealed in my gym shorts. He gave me a good tip though.
2/16. I used to deliver furniture and me (a Jew) and my coworker (a Black guy) were carrying a sofa into a customers house to find a disturbing amount of Nazi flags, uniforms and other items. Needless to say we were both a little worried. Turned out he was just a big WWII buff and he showed us his whole collection. He even had one of the Nazi General's full set of uniforms smuggled out of Germany.
3/16. My friends refer to this story as when I got "Buffalo Billed".
I was a closing driver for a local pizza place. It was about 15 minutes to close and we got our last order. When I show up at the house and ring the door bell the guy inside cracked open the door, upon seeing me he said "oh sh*t it's a girl!" and shut the door.
I stand there another minute, not sure what just happened, and then the front door pops open again. This time three men are standing in the door frame, two middle aged, bedraggled looking guys and a dude who looked like he was 80.
The older guy then starts complimenting me, and I start to get pretty sketched out. Then he stops mid-sentence and says, "What size pants do you wear? You look like you're about a size twelve."
I was struck speechless. Just standing there wondering what was going on.
He continued, "I got a pair of pants in here that might fit! You can come in and try them on!"
After another few minutes of refusing to go into this guys house he finally gave up and paid.
He tipped me twenty bucks, then grabbed my waist and "tickled" me. Then exclaimed, "you're pretty! But you could go jogging more!"
Only after getting to my car did I realize how stupid I was for even sticking around to wait for him to pay.
Continue to the next page to read more weird delivery stories.
4/16. Our UPS man was really cool and would always drive around with a box of dog treats in the car (pretty smart, considering there are some vicious dogs out there). My dog learned pretty quickly that when his truck drove up, she would get a treat. Eventually, she learned that the treats came FROM the truck and so one day, while he was at the door, she climbed into the back and started sniffing around. She tore open the box of doggy biscuits, and another package of food, I think. The UPS guy didn't know she was back there and didn't notice till his next stop, which was far away (I lived in the middle of nowhere). So, he drove back and returned the dog. To compensate, the driver got another box of dog biscuits and my mom baked something for the people whose food my dog had eaten.
5/16. I used to work at a packie back in college, and we used to do deliveries to close residences. There was one older lady who we used to deliver to a lot, and one day I brought her case of wine to her door, and rang the bell. When she opened the door, she was in a bath robe, but it wasn't tied. I was shocked, but didn't want to be rude, so I brought the wine in and said have a nice day, trying to avoid eye contact. She then said, "Wait, what about your tip?" I turned around and she bent over for her purse and the robe just flew wide open. I saw old everything. Dear god I have tried to erase that memory forever but not all the liquor in the world could undo what I saw. She acted like nothing happened, handed me $10 and I went on my merry way.
6/16. Delivered for Papa Johns for 3 years in Atlanta.
Continue reading zany delivery stories on the next page.
7/16. One time in college at a party we ordered pizza and the guy that came never said a single word. We were all wasted and were like dudeee!! Come take a shot! So he shrugs and nods yes and comes in. Ends up getting handed two shots of jack, which he downs like a champ with no chaser. Then somebody passes him a bong and he smokes. Then we were like dudeee!! Do a strikeout (hold in bong rip, chug a beer, take a shot, exhale) and he did. Again, said nothing just put up his hand to say thanks, nods, and left.
9/16. I work for a company that delivers household appliances. A lot of our customers are larger property management companies, and we do a lot of deliveries to large apartment blocks. I have seen many places that were so filthy you wonder how someone can live there. But one in particular takes the cake...
Standard procedure is to talk to the onsite management to get access, deliver the new stuff, haul out the old stuff, get a signature and bounce. Usually the manager will follow us around and make sure we don't mess anything up along the way, but at this one delivery, a haggard looking manager told us "Go on up to the unit, it's open, I'll meet you up there later"
"Ok, no problem."
She wouldn't have fit in the elevator with a fridge, stove and two big guys anyway. So we get up there, and sure enough the apartment is open. The door was kicked off it's frame and missing. But that was just the start....
The drywall was smashed and kicked in all over the place. Pink fiberglass insulation was all over the floor. Light switches were ripped out of the wall, hanging from wires pulled through the drywall. The windows to the outside were smashed. Random pools of congealed liquids dotted the floor. There was garbage EVERYWHERE. We looked at our invoice to see if we had the right unit number, and we sure did. We decided to hang back and wait for the manager.
When she came up, I asked her if she actually wanted brand new shiny appliances in that terrible place.
"We have cleaners coming later today, can you just haul the old ones out and leave the new ones here in the hallway for now?"
Continue reading this story on the next page.
So we tucked the new fridge and stove out of the way and went into the kitchen of this place to haul the old ones out. As I'm in there sliding the range out of place, she finally lets us know what's up.
"So sorry about the mess in here today boys, but it's been a really wild few days here. You hear about that guy that took a hostage 2 days ago?"
"Yeah, it was hard to miss on the news."
"Well, yeah... that happened in here. You're standing where the cops shot the guy."
I looked down, and sure enough, I was standing in a 3 foot wide puddle of dried blood, right in the middle of the kitchen.
The most disturbing part about it was that I wasn't as disturbed by it as I thought I should be.
10/16. I delivered pizzas for 3 or 4 years. One time I had a extremely drunk guy take 30 minutes to find his check book. He fell over about 5 times, would walk into the kitchen and forget what he was looking for. Ended up writing it in crayon. I had multiple girls come to the door topless. I saw a kid holding a crack pipe for his dad while he paid in quarters. I went to an apartment once and there was a huge butcher knife in the mailbox. Once a guy grabbed me and called me a chicken f*cker because, "MY PIZZA WAS TOO EXPENSIVE." Please tip your pizza girl/guy. You have no idea what she/he deals with on a daily basis.
11/16. I used to deliver pizza for a small place in Santa Fe. Outside of one house, I noticed a very strong weed smell that only got more potent as I got closer to the house. When the dude opened the door the first thing I noticed was some very serious high intensity lights hanging from the high ceilings. That and it smelled like someone had jammed a few buds into my sinus cavity. There was also a makeshift black plastic curtain blocking off most of the living room and my view.
I did not say a thing. I was honestly too stunned. I did, however, think that I would run my grow house a little differently.
In that same town I worked at a video store where, during one staff meeting, we were told that we could accept drugs as payment for rentals, as long as we put the approximate cash value of the drugs in the till out of our own pockets.
Continue reading weird delivery stories on the next page.
12/16. I delivered pizzas for a year and a half, and thinking back, most of it is a blur.
Although I think the weirdest experience I had was an old shut-in who would tape a check to the front door, and not come out to get the pizza until she was sure you'd driven away. One time she forgot to put a check, so I knocked on the door, rang the doorbell, called her phone number, and so on... she didn't answer, so I took my other deliveries. 10 minutes later, she calls me back.
She says, "yeah, I saw you down there, but you didn't leave my pizza!" I say, you didn't leave a check. She says, "yes I did! Did you check around the back door? Sometimes it's at the back door, sometimes it's at the front door, you need to check both doors." I said I'd looked at the back door, and there was no check. She says, "well go look again, there should be one. you just need to look harder."
So I go back, and there is the check taped to the front door. Taped to the check are 2 dollars in quarters, rolled up in tape. That was the only time she ever tipped me.
13/16. Pizza delivery driver here- Weirdest delivery ever was to one of the top floors of these super tall public housing structures. Definitely not the worst in the city, but still never fun to deliver to because the elevators are slower than molasses, the tips are usually small, and public housing can get kind of unsafe.
Anyway, I get up to the door after waiting like 10 minutes in this rickety elevator, and the man on the other end of the door softly tells me the door's open and to come inside (I hate going inside people's houses, especially public housing, because 1. I am a female and 2. some people have some straaaange living habits).
Anyway, I see this guy, sitting in his chair, with nothing but a diaper on, acting like absolutely nothing is amiss, and he cheerfully tells me to put the food inside the oven. Huh? At this point, I am thoroughly weirded out, but I need him to sign the receipt. He tells me he did not order the pizza, so I need to go in the bedroom if I want my tip. The logical side of me was saying "nope. don't do it." but I will go to shameless lengths for an extra few dollars and diaper dude was pretty old and clearly wasn't a threat, just weird.
So I go into the bedroom and find another dude, completely naked, laying in bed with a pen waiting for me. WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON? Awkwardly, I kind of threw the receipts on top of him, not wanting to get close. He casually signed them, acting like absolutely nothing was out of the ordinary, and politely handed them back to me. I bolted out of there as fast as I could. $6 dollar tip. Not bad.
More delivery stories on the next page!
14/16. I used to deliver pizza/Italian food to a sex worker that was living and working out of a local hotel. She kept two rooms; one for living, one for work. If the order had two meals it would be one room, if it was one meal it would be the other. She also had a chihuahua in her living room. She would only pay in 20's and we always got to keep the change, sometimes getting us $17 dollar tips. It was great, but she eventually stopped ordering or moved out.
15/16. My first (pizza) delivery one morning was to a regular customer. His order came to 32.80. I went to his house and he had a hundred dollar bill and nothing else. I didn't have nearly enough change, so I told him I'd have to head back to the store and get change for him. He said, "how about this, you get me a hard pack of Newports and I'll throw you a couple extra bucks." The convenience store was closer than the Domino's, so it was a no-brainer. I took his hundred, bought a pack of cigarettes, and went back with exact change. He handed me three 20 dollar bills and I started by day with a $27 tip.
16/16. I'm a girl who used to deliver pizza in high school. One day we got a call for a delivery and after hanging up the phone my coworker informed me that the same man had called the day before and seemed like a creep. Greaaaaat. I arrive to his house with the pizza and notice that it is the only house that is a ways up from the street. The neighborhood isnt the best either and most of the shrubs are overgrown and poorly maintained. I ring the doorbell and this 6 foot older man wearing a yellowish stained tanktop with ratty gray sweatpants just stares at me.
He has a huge overgrown scraggly beard and just looks like a total creep. It is apparent that he hasnt bathed in a while. Then all of a sudden his dog, a weird mini black greyhound, appears out of nowhere and starts jumping all over me. The scary man doesnt even try to get the dog to stop attacking me or anything, he just lets it jump all over me. I finally hand him his pizza while trying to dodge the dog's claws and he gives me this blank stare again. At this point I realize I'm probably not getting a tip. Frazzled, I try to get out of there as fast as I can and when I turn around to leave his dog follows me to my car.
After walking about 5 feet I notice that the creepy man is following me too and all of a sudden I hear him yell "Where are you going?" as he proceeds to walk even faster. At this point I'm freaked out so I high tail it to my car and jump in the drivers seat. His dog is still going wild and jumping all over the car, which is preventing me from driving away. He then comes right next to my window and I see him try and reach for something in his pocket. Im so freaked out I can barely move but I finally manage to start the car and speed off in a panic. Ill never know what was in his pocket but I made sure we never delivered to him ever again.
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I tend to avoid public bathrooms if I can help it. They are terrible places. Few are clean and I admit I am a bit of a clean freak. My beautiful bottom will not grace a dirty toilet seat, no thank you. I have standards.
I'm being only sort of serious. I've been in a pinch before. But have you ever seen a gas station bathroom that was utterly destroyed by the patron (or patrons) before you? It's a horrible sight. 0/10: Do not recommend.
Naturally, some crazy things happen in your local public restroom. We heard some stories after Redditor RuffNBoy asked the online community,
"What is the wackiest thing you've seen in a public restroom?"
"At the theater I work at..."
"At the theater I work at I was cleaning the mens restroom and in one of the stalls was an open condom wrapper, a tiny empty bottle of the nacho cheddar seasoning we sell, and the seasoning scattered near the corner on the floor. Bethesda wishes they had environmental storytelling like that."
Do I really want to know what went on there? I honestly don't think so.
"I used to be..."
"I used to be a hotel maid. Cleaning one room I found two things in the bathroom garbage can: a used condom and a whole pickle."
"I was taking a dump..."
"I was taking a dump at a movie theater and a little kid climbed under the stall and grabbed my foot. I screamed and kicked that kid so hard right in the face just out of sheer instinct. He cried. His dad said, "That's what you get Gavin."
Gavin is at it again and this time he faced some consequences.
"I walked in..."
"I walked in and my eyes were immediately assaulted by a fully naked man running a stick of deodorant up and down his crack."
Wow... what a terrible day to be able to read.
"Not only did this bathroom..."
"Gas station bathroom in the middle of nowhere. Not only did this bathroom have a bathtub (?) but there was a fully dressed and made up mannequin in the tub. Very jarring."
This sounds surreal... and honestly rather creepy.
"I once stopped..."
"I once stopped at a gas station on a road trip and the bathroom was full of dolls…. Staring with their little painted eyes…."
Their creepy and unsettling eyes!
"Two people were having sex in the handicapped stall. I was seven."
So something tells me you learned about the birds and the bees rather early.
"A clogged urinal..."
"A clogged urinal filled to the brim, with an anaconda sized turd spiral floating in it, in hypnotic circles. How a turd that size could be buoyant I have no idea."
This is quite the sentence. I don't think I needed it in my eyeballs, but it's too late now.
"I was in a Berlin dive bar..."
"Olives. I was in a Berlin dive bar with some friends. In the bathroom, there was a vending machine, stocked with tinned tapas. So I came back from the bathroom with a can of olives. When asked where I got them I just replied "bathroom.""
This is simultaneously hilarious and horrifying. I can only imagine the looks on your friends' faces...
Okay, so now you understand why I can't abide public restrooms. If you're smart, you'll run for the hills the next time you're in the proximity of one. Things can only go downhill from there. (Am I being serious? Maybe... maybe not.)
Have some stories of your own to share? Tell us more in the comments below!
One should never be fooled by a first impression.
Certain people might behave in a way that is less than indicative of what they are actually like, and might prove to be far more impressive, or much less friendly, once you get to know them a little better.
However, sometimes people will behave in a certain way which leaves one unable to avoid making assumptions about people.
Namely, their intelligence.
Redditor sparklingshanaya was curious to hear what behavioral traits the Reddit community took as a sign of possessing a considerable lack of intelligence, leading them to ask:
"What are some behaviors that scream unintelligence?"
An unwillingness to learn
"I feel like the classic example is being unable to change your opinion or idea when you are presented with new information."
"You don’t have to set everything you believe in stone."- Rusty_of_Shackleford
"I think a key thing that separates the intelligent from the less intelligent is curiosity and how far you actually go to learn."- TuxedoWolf07
When even they don't know what they're talking about.
"Maybe not unintelligence but ignorance."
"People getting angry when I ask them to explain what they just meant as I want to understand them and not misunderstand."- smokinstuff·
"Getting angry when someone ask them to explain their point."- SuvenPanWorking Julie Andrews GIFGiphy
It's never attractive to gloat
"Obsessively telling everybody how intelligent you are."- terribleUsername18
It's ok to admit defeat every now and then...
"Playing 'last word' in an argument you've lost."- LennonMcCartney65
"Being defensive when corrected instead of just accepting it."- Marthstewart123
"Claiming they are always right but not being able to argument why or have a serious debate about it."- GReatChinookDrop The Mic GIF by In Real LifeGiphy
Are you sure about that?
"Constantly saying 'facts' that are extremely false."
"Gets on my nerves."- Sharkifish
Read the instructions!!!
"I just started driving for UberXL."
"The amount of people who think they can fit 8 people with all their luggage into a midsize SUV is astonishing."
"You can see which car comes to pick you up and it says fits 5 people."
"If you have a piece of luggage each then it's more like 3 people."
"I had one group sit there and stare me down like they didn't understand."
"I swear some people just have a mental limit for figuring things out and they all find each other and never get anywhere."- predict_irrational
One should always reserve judgment, as one never knows for sure what lurks beneath the surface.
Even if more often and not, you are left with little to nothing which encourages you to see what's there.
One of my favorite horror films ever is Black Christmas (1974). It's the perfect slasher film. It's scary. It's uncompromising. It's sordid. It's eerie. It leaves you with a horrible feeling in the pit of your stomach. It features some great acting, too! There are some powerhouse talents in it, including Olivia Hussey, Keir Dullea, Margot Kidder, and Andrea Martin.
But did you know that the film has been remade? It's been remade twice, as a matter of fact. The first remake, which was released in 2006, was so ridiculous. Not even Martin, who showed up in a glorified cameo in the role of a sorority house mother, could save it.
It was remade again in 2019 — this one bore few similarities to the films that came before it. One wondered why this one even had the same name, but there you have it.
Suffice it to say that the original Black Christmas is untouchable. But it is not the only film out there that should never have been remade. Far from it.
People shared their thoughts with us after Redditor CrescendoX asked the online community,
"What movie is so perfect that if it would remade, it would be a crime against humanity?"
"Misery. I could totally see a remake of Misery that used the way social media creates parasocial relationships so prevalently."
But let's not. I mean, who could ever replace Kathy Bates? She won an Oscar for the role!
Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988)
"Who Framed Roger Rabbit."
I've seen the animation they've done for some of these new "live action meets cartoons" things.. The work the art/animation team put into Who Framed Roger Rabbit is STILL to this day putting them to shame."
A good choice. It was a pretty groundbreaking film and it's still influencing filmmakers to this day. That cast!
"It would be impossible to remake that perfect movie. The cast, story, and practical effects are wonderful. A remake would be full of CGI and a BS script."
Don't you dare suggest this! Don't you dare give those horrible Hollywood execs any ideas!
"Spaceballs. I don't want any other version."
But think about the merchandising!
Spaceballs 2: The Search for More Money
"Jaws. I read somewhere that Spielberg won't let it be remade."
If someone did someday remake it, I would highly suggest they remove a lot of the unnecessary subplots that are in the book!
Did we really need that affair?
The Silence of the Lambs (1991)
"The Silence of the Lambs. Remakes should only be attempted when you are sure that it can outclass the original but Silence of the Lambs cannot be outclassed."
Two Oscar-winning performances. It doesn't get any better than Anthony Hopkins and Jodie Foster. The film is a masterclass — the Criterion edition is especially beautiful.
Stand by Me (1986)
"Stand by Me. It would be an insult to River Phoenix and many others to remake that."
This film is so highly regarded that a remake just seems foolish. Why even bother attempting one? Go and read the novella instead.
Back to the Future (1985)
"Back to the Future. Please please please PLEASE don't ruin it with a remake."
As long as Robert Zemeckis doesn't kick the bucket we're safe!
Uncle Buck (1989)
"Uncle Buck. Don't you dare touch it."
Without John Candy that would be like trying to remake the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel in a Denny's with only ketchup and mustard. Just a tragic, ill-conceived imitation.
My Cousin Vinny (1992)
"My Cousin Vinny. Joe Pesci's performance is perfect."
Hey, don't forget Marisa Tomei! She stole the show. And she won an Oscar for the role!
The list of movies that should not be touched is endless and you no doubt have your opinions.
Which movies should be left the hell alone? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
Sex talk is still considered a taboo subject in many households. And I don't mean going into detail about your bedroom conquests at the dinner table.
Overprotective parents tend to be evasive about discussing the birds and the bees with their kids because they feel it's not up to them to have that conversation.
Remember Carrie White's religious mom who refused to talk about intimacy with her 16-year-old?
We all know how that turned out in the classic Stephen King novel.
Anyway, parents turning down an opportunity to have the uncomfortable convo or having their kids miss out on sex education can lead a child to potentially develop damaging misunderstandings about their body and puberty.
The effects of which were explored when Redditor sparklingshanaya asked:
"What’s a sexual misconception you had for way too long?"
It helps to have an earlier understanding about your body when you're younger.
"As a girl, I had no real idea of where/what the vagina was until I was like 11 or 12. My mom didn't give me a real sex talk, just a puberty/body book that said 'the vagina is between the woman's legs' and just had a full frontal diagram (legs closed) of a woman with an arrow pointing to her pelvic region. I also didn't know a period lasted longer than a day until I got mine at 14, and then wondered why it was still going on the next day."
"When my mom realized how abysmal my sex education was, her solution was to rent a video from the library about it and make me watch it on the big family TV in the living room at like 3pm. Granted— it was a very educational video but I won't ever forget one of the educators (a 50 year old woman) talking about how to give a satisfactory blow job."
"Ok so I grew up in a VERY conservative household. Was not allowed to take sex ed in middle school and they helicoptered in high school. Any internet access they had access to view so I never watched porn/looked at pics. Absolutely nothing. So for a long time I thought penises were shaped like a smaller pringles can. I thought it was just like...a straight up cylinder. Moved out at 17 and googled some things and man I had men's anatomy SO wrong."
Wrong End Of The Stick
"Friend of mine has a similar background and I just about lost my mind when she said the balls are the END of the penis. Like she had seen those doodles and had it upside down so they just dangle off the end of the shaft lmaooo."
Let's get verbal about getting oral.
Satisfy A Woman
"Learn to go down on a woman, like become a master at it. Do this."
Excuse For Supper
"I second this. Been married for 20 years and it's something I'm happy to do."
"Get involved, people."
"Edit: thanks for the medals and upvotes, people! Be assured that I'll be celebrating tonight."
"Friend of a friend thought it meant kissing. And they were like 19. So glad they found out through a conversation and not through a dude asking for it, or her talking about it. That would've been extremely confusing for everyone."
"My friend back in middle school thought a blowjob meant to literally blow on it. I still tease her about it to this day."
"Man, I thought I was gonna get so many blow jobs. That’s just not true."
As young adolescents, these Redditors got these terminologies mixed up.
"When I was around middle school age I thought that oral sex meant talking dirty :’)"
"I used to sext with my girlfriend in high school. When we broke up, she just went crazy and told everyone in our grade that I was great at 'oral sex' (she meant sexting💀) School hasn’t been the same since then."
Learning By Example
"I was kind of sheltered growing up, and like most sheltered kids, I learned a lot about sex through porn. I kept seeing 'blowjob' videos, and (i had no idea what a blowjob) assumed it was some kind of sex blooper. Like, something got messed up and the director said 'Oh darn, you blew it! Let’s take it from the top.'”
I had sex education in sixth grade after my parents gave the school permission for me to attend the special assembly centering on the topic.
But I remember how vague the instructor was. By the time I eventually had my first nocturnal emission, I remember being terrified, yet simultaneously elated. It was very confusing, and I didn't know what happened.
I remember reflecting back to sixth grade and thinking the school must've skipped that part in sex ed.