Image by 1045373 from Pixabay

Human beings--especially children--can be pretty ridiculous.

Somehow, even after infancy is long behind us, we still insist on interacting with the world through our mouths.

Chemicals, far-out organic materials, and even inanimate objects are all liable to become sudden victims of the saliva portal.


The truly remarkable thing? Some people take those broad-brush diets far into adulthood.

Nazamroth asked, "What is, surprisingly, safe for human consumption?"

For many people, it's the home hygiene products that are the most tempting.

All those creams, jellies, and vibrant liquids are evidently begging to grace a tongue.

Internal Perfume 

"A whole box of Nivea cream apparently. I ate an entire box of Nivea cream when I was a toddler and the only aftereffect was that my poop smelled nice for a while." -- nina_wants_to_fly

"My biology teacher told us she likes the taste of Nivea cream, and when she uses it she always eats a little bit." -- MLGRadish

"Who wouldn't want nice smelling poop" -- humaneclair

Down the Hatch 

"Had a severely alcoholic patient drink two large bottles of Mouth Wash (Listerine etc) every day for about 15 years."

"You'd think nearly 10,000 bottles of Mouth Wash would kill a man, but no. At least, not very quickly."

-- ExtremePrivilege

Ingesting Jelly 

"Petroleum Jelly - small amounts have been used as laxative and stool softener." -- Forever000Anon

"According to my grandfather, (who passed at 88) Vick's Vapo-Rub." -- DeadLined784

"The person who created Vaseline thought is was a miracle salve and would have a spoonful a day. He lived a long life and attributed it to Vaseline" -- Crazed_waffle_party

At least those examples of hygiene treats made a minute amount of sense. After all, those creams are at least used in and around the face.

For the others out here eating chemicals even more distant from human diets, I don't what the excuse is.

Slurp 

"Ballistol"

"It's a general purpose oil for lubrication and rust protection and can be used for metal, wood, and leather."

"It's completely safe to drink, and it even smells like licorice."

-- Skruestik

Just in Case 

"The little stickers on the fruit you buy in the store. Even the glue for them are FDA approved." -- prophecy623

"I mean, if the USA banned Kinder Surprise because the GIANT CONTAINER INSIDE, that was UNMISTAKABLY not made to be eaten and that was in no way at risk of being eaten, was not edible, I expect something that is glued to my food to be edible." -- neos7m

Organic Sourcing 

"Shellac."

"Yes. The stuff they use to seal wood. It's used in everything from finger nail polish to candy. Its secreted by a bug. Yummy."

-- Atomsteel

Finally, some people apparently figure if a thing is of the earth at all, it's fair game to toss down the throat.

You'd be surprised just how much of the natural world around us is edible.

Needles!

'"Euell Gibbons: "Many parts of the pine tree are edible.' " -- drburns650

"Pine needle tea is a very good source of vitamin c" -- Mrslinkydragon

No Waste 

"You can eat everything inside of a natural beehive, including the bees. Just don't get stung!" -- Tinyfishy

"My roommate didn't belive me when I got honeycomb from a local farmers market and ate it by the spoonful. Usually I just crush it to get the honey out then spit out the comb, but I chewed up and swallowed a whole chunk just to prove to him that you could do it." -- Witness_me_Karsa

Mmmmm Ground 

"Some indigenous tribes eat clay in small amounts due to the minerals and texture." -- ritzpheonix15

"I have two cousins adopted from a Haitian orphanage. The orphanage basically took lard and mixed it with small amounts of dirt to feed to the kids."

"I imagine it was more 'filler' than any notable benefits, but still, crazy to think about." -- No_Help_Accountant

On the Edge 

"Pokeweed is edible if cooked properly. I remember my BIL's dad made poke salad."

"He said the idea is to cook 'most' of the poison out, but leave enough for your lips to tingle."

-- ThatPooreGirl


Please do not interpret this list as license to go putting all kinds of things into your mouth. Always consult a trusted expert before dragging your tongue along some chemical or obscure plant.

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