Super Bowl 53 has come and gone. People agree that the game was boring, the commercials uninspired and the halftime show beyond disappointing.
That last one was not what people expected going into the show.
While the internet may be divided on the idea of Maroon 5 performing, something else was meant to elevate the show to a new height.
Something absorbent and yellow and porous is he.
There's even an underwater tropical fruit domicile involved...
SpongeBob SquarePants "Sweet Victory" Performance 🎤 Band Geeks | Nick www.youtube.com
If you're unfamiliar, the above video is the song "Sweet Victory" performed by Spongebob Squarepants and the other denizens of Bikini Bottom for the episode "Band Geeks."
It is an original song for the show, performed at the halftime of a human sporting event, similar to the big game.
After the passing of Spongebob creator Stephen Hillenburg, fans shared their appreciation for the long lived cartoon show. They talked about the highly meme-able series and shared their favorite moments. At the top of the list was "Sweet Victory".
Soon after, fans put together a petition to have the Super Bowl halftime show play the clip in honor of Hillenburg.
The song is only two minutes. It should have been easy right?
The hype began to build.
@nowthisnews Where's the link to the petition? I want to sign...— Mael Lubis (@Mael Lubis)1543988526.0
@TIME This is honestly the only reason I would watch the Superbowl this year.— badflower (@badflower)1547165550.0
@OddsShark Nice.— Rick Merritt (@Rick Merritt)1548538544.0
Things seemed positive when the businesses involved kept mentioning Spongebob.
The halftime performance we never knew we needed, but can’t imagine living without 🎤 https://t.co/rR3t1eofVJ— SpongeBob (@SpongeBob)1543779005.0
SpongeBob makes his way into Maroon 5's Super Bowl announcement video, after the petition to have 'Sweet Victory' p… https://t.co/KM2gURiWcI— Fandom (@Fandom)1547425579.0
Then the day finally came.
Super Bowl 53's lackluster game gave way to the halftime show. And we got…
An 8 second clip.
Pepsi Super Bowl LIII Halftime Show youtu.be
We barely got the horns.
It was half new animation of Squidward calling Travis Scott a musical genius and half hype for a performance we would never get.
People were not pleased.
Describe the halftime show with a spongebob quote. https://t.co/GlRSsYXjlW— Tone (@Tone)1549244064.0
All of America: You should use about, like, 45-60 seconds of the Halftime Show for Sweet Victory from Spongebob! N… https://t.co/jiyCimnOwl— Knicks Memes (@Knicks Memes)1549243660.0
the NFL including Spongebob in the halftime show: https://t.co/EyFsZsKBrN— drowsee (@drowsee)1549244320.0
The halftime show was actually kinda boring. Like, the only meme-able thing was the LACK of a Spongebob song.— Rebecca Parham (@Rebecca Parham)1549243544.0
"We want Spongebob in the Bubble Bowl!" Halftime show producers: https://t.co/iGXP6D6l2N— Jackson Quick (@Jackson Quick)1549243969.0
Fans were disappointed in the show, and while Adam Levine's tatted torso made for some great meme fodder, they needed that "Sweet Victory."
As you can see above, Nickelodeon has the video on their YouTube channel. In addition, the song was released on the third Spongebob soundtrack album called Spongebob Squarepants: The Yellow Album.
Streaming of the song increased 566% after the game.
I’ve had this in my head non-stop since the Superbowl https://t.co/Y1HaOsUWC2— SpitballingPod (@SpitballingPod)1549577352.0
The @SuperBowl may not care about you guys. But I sure do. <3 https://t.co/PLTGhVv3r4— Virgil (@Virgil)1549572063.0
#RollUpDate - 2/5 AND TO CELEBRATE, THE HALFTIME SHOW WE ALL DESERVED! #SweetVictory #FreeCoffee #RollUpTheRim https://t.co/djYBTFf58L— Eric McAlister (@Eric McAlister)1549565378.0
For those confused by last night’s #PepsiHalftimeShow, THIS is what people were asking for from a tribute to Sponge… https://t.co/K8DuZoaMJ9— Yates Wilburn (@Yates Wilburn)1549283612.0
To give a comparison, Maroon 5 saw their streaming numbers increase about 35%, and Big Boi's "Kryptonite" got a 95.3% increase in play.
Travis Scott's single "Sicko Mode" only rose 1% but it was already a very popular song.
The halftime show was already a controversial move, after artists refused to perform in solidarity with Colin Kaepernick.
Rihanna turned down the offer, citing Kaepernick. While Maroon 5 was eventually signed for the show, fans started a petition to get them to drop out.
Adam Levine refused to cancel his performance and got Scott and Big Boi to perform with him.
Maybe the show would have been viewed better if Levine got a yellow sponge too.
Or at least Gary.
Redditor Beadiest_Cape wanted to hear the best cuss free insults out there and asked:
“What's the best insult you've heard without swearing?"
Professor burn…
“After getting a compliment on his assignment, A buddy of mine leaned back in his chair and told our college professor, ‘I'm not as dumb as I look.’ To which he leaned forward on his podium and said, ‘You couldnt be.’” dusty_boots
“…and may God have mercy on your soul.”
“One of the best is from Billy Madison, ‘What you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.’” maswriter
You should apologize…
“You’re not the dumbest person in the world, but you'd better hope they don’t die.” WhatThatBoiDoin
“Whenever this question is posted, my favorite is usually along the lines of: ‘There's a tree somewhere in the Amazon jungle with sole purpose of producing oxygen you breathe. You should go find that tree and apologize." all_worth
How low can they go?
“The bar was on the ground and you grabbed a shovel” BlckAlchmst
“That reminds me of one comment i read saying: ‘the bar was so low it was practically a tripping hazard in hell, yet here you are dancing limbo with the devil’.” give_it_a_vodkashot
Series 2 Limbo GIF by BBC ThreeGiphy"Having been born an infant, and realizing he quite liked it, he decided to stay one forever." overt-wan-kenobert
“From Casablanca: ‘You probably think pretty poorly of me don't you?’”
"’I would if I gave you any thought’" koiven
These teachers got clap backs for days…
“I had a teacher tell some kid ‘Nothing you have to say is of any consequence...to anyone.’ He was an odd teacher who kinda talked like that, but it was his version of savage. The room lost its sh*t in unison.” glib_battling
“I had a guy sit behind me in English class let out of fart that reverberated off the wooden seat. The whole class heard it. The teacher said ‘that's the most intelligent thing you've said all year’. Priceless” melbers22
Bob Dylan…
“Bob Dylan: One day, I wish you'd be in my shoes, so you could know... what a drag it is to see you.” WhatDaufuskie
“I was at a karaoke 50th the other night and this one caught my eye. Thankfully I wasn't drunk enough to sing it. But I love this song for its sick burn. Poor old Edie. Bob really gave it to her that time.” crankenfranken
Down the Monty Python rabbit hole…
“Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt... of elderberries!” UpTwoDownOne
“Elderberries were the cheap replacement for grapes in making wine. That is basically ‘your father is a drunk and can't afford the good stuff’.” ukezi
“And hamsters have sex all the time with no regard for monogamy.” draconum_ggg
“So, ‘Your mother is being cheated on but is also a w*ore and you father is a drunk who is also broke’.” EmpanadaDeMayonesa2
Firefly insults…
“‘My days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a...middle.’ --Mal Reynolds”
"’It's not that I hate you, exactly; it's just that any admiration I have for you is well under control.’” FlourChild1026
Shakespeare master of insults…
“Straight from Shakespeare ‘I wish we could become better strangers’.” Dundeklil
“Also from Shakespeare: (Fallstaff, after Bardolf calls him fat) ‘Do thou amend thy face, and I'll amend my life.’” driving_andflying
Excuse us while we go grab the burn cream.
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Sure, it's depressing, but you know what? Aging happens to all of us, and no one is getting out of here alive.
"What gets worse with age?"
Physical consequences of aging is one of the cruelest things in life.
What The Body Does With Food
"Digestive system."
"Every meal is followed by a poop."
Fighting Gravity
"Bending over to pick a quarter off the ground. Hurts your back, gut and your fingers don't work. That's why there is change all over my floor. ;)"
After A Wild Night
"Hangovers for sure."
"At 18 I could go heavily drink and feel damn near 100% the next day. Now I get horrid mental and physical effects. Probably should quit drinking all together."
When our senses gradually start to fail us, it's yet another reminder of our brief mortality.
Look, See
"eyesight."
"Make sure you get your eye dilated every year and check for cataracts."
See, Hear
"My hearing is on the decline. I don't think it'll go completely, but I did get hearing aids last year."
Deaf GIF by memecandyGiphyThe degeneration of certain abilities as we get older is too much to bear.
Staying Above Water
"My ability to cope. I'm just burnt out all the time."
"I feel the same. Aside from my family and friends, I have no care for anyone or anything anymore. Nothing phases me but that's not a good thing IMO. I feel very apathetic towards everything, I'm tired all the time and just want to lay down."
Counting Sheep
"The ability to sleep through the night."
– dabuku1
"Used to be a world champion sleeper and now 5-6 straight hours is huge. Pretty much wide awake every night at 3am."
Putting Up With People
"Humanity.... The older I get the less I want to deal with people."
Maintaining Friendships
"Friendship - making new friends after your 20s becomes a big struggle, and the newer friendships just aren't the same. You can literally run out of 'lifelong friends' due to death, disease, people growing apart, etc."
– cowanon7
I found as I'm getting older my patience and tolerance for certain things have gotten worse.
Waiting in line at the grocery store while someone fumbles with their payment option, or getting antsy when the food I ordered at the restaurant is taking way too long are things that never bothered me ten years ago.
I"m not curmudgeonly by any means, at least not yet. Besides, I'm not that old.
But to all the cranky elders I grew up with who complained about poor service or lack of efficiency, I get it now, and I hear you.