
Successful Adults Reveal How They Finally Got Their Act Together
[rebelmouse-image 18351134 is_animated_gif=Success isn't easy, and today's world can be overwhelmingly demanding. Following the advice of people who have mastered their lives is a powerful tool for individuals struggling to find their rhythm.
Dingus_Son_Of_Dongus asked, Older redditors who got your life together at a later age, what advice would you give someone in their early 30's?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
It's never too late to try something new.
[rebelmouse-image 18360595 is_animated_gif=I started getting my life together about a year ago at 35. I spent 10 years at a job that I hated, and quit to go back to school. I'm broker than I've ever been, but I'm also happier than I've ever been. My advice would be, don't let fear get in your way. I was so afraid of leaving my job, but now that I have, I wish I had done it years ago.
We see this all the time; only the bottom line matters.
[rebelmouse-image 18360596 is_animated_gif=Don't be loyal to companies, they're not loyal to you.
Don't let your life fall out of balance, and remember to focus on what's truly important.
[rebelmouse-image 18345901 is_animated_gif=Don't drink excessively and do drugs in an excessive amount, don't ruin friendships for stupid reasons and don't live beyond your means. Also if you're in a toxic relationship get out of it now, you'll be better off without all the stupid sh_t. And don't drink yourself stupid for goodness sake.
Solid advice. Take control of your reputation. Bankruptcy is there for a reason; give yourself a clean slate.
[rebelmouse-image 18360597 is_animated_gif=If you're carrying around a bad reputation or have something that you can't seem to shake, ditch social media and move away. Also, file bankruptcy if you owe a lot of money out. Just start over and stop trying to grow sprouts in salted earth.
The only person who matters is you.
[rebelmouse-image 18360598 is_animated_gif=Celebrate each small step forward, and try not to judge yourself against the progress of others.
Don't take constructive criticism personally. It can only help you improve.
[rebelmouse-image 18360599 is_animated_gif=When your boss is criticizing your work try taking what they are saying and implementing those things from then on. More often than not your boss is actually trying to help you improve and not trying to hurt your feelings.
First hand experience here - this is great advice. You have to let go to make changes.
[rebelmouse-image 18360600 is_animated_gif=Make a clean break. I can remember the day that I realized that everything will have to change. I cut toxic friends from my life on that day. There are places that I use to hang out that I never returned to.
Acknowledge your problems and fix them. You and you alone have this power.
[rebelmouse-image 18360602 is_animated_gif=I'm in my thirties now, but I was sort of stuck for a while. I was a college dropout, who had left with a bad GPA, and no plan to return. I realized not having a degree was holding me back, and my girlfriend suggested I just go look into it. I went to my old school to figure out what it would take to graduate, and I only had 3 semesters. Luckily, I had someone in my life to tell me I should go for it. I was broke, but I quit an ok paying job. I got two jobs with more flexible hours and worked 50-60 hours a week while going to school. I took on a moderate amount of loans, but used that money for education only, and supported my life with money from working. Some schools have very flexible class schedules, and as a real adult, I felt like I was taken more seriously. Professors and advisers see your effort and want you to succeed. My jobs were the same way, and when I finally graduated, I was offered a better position and convinced to stay on. Next, I focused on paying off my loans. Now, things are more or less together in my life. This scenario doesn't describe everyone's situation, but I think the thing that started it all for me is good advice. "Just look into it." Fix the things that are holding you back. For me, it just took a small step to get things rolling in the right direction.
If you're miserable, quit. You'll figure it out.
[rebelmouse-image 18360603 is_animated_gif=If you don't like what you're doing now, you won't magically like it 10 years from now.
Quit. Go to school if you need to. Work and do classes at the same time if that's what you need to do.
You have a rare opportunity now to reshape the rest of your life. Don't be that person in their 50's-60's who says "I finally got the courage to go back to school and learn (x)." Do it now while you have time to enjoy it and time to gain experience in your field. Nothing sucks more than being older and trying to gain a foothold in an industry when you're competing with people in their late 20's/30's.
"Buy now, pay later" will come back to bite you.
[rebelmouse-image 18360604 is_animated_gif=If you can't pay for it outright, DON'T BUY IT! Debt is no fun, folks. No fun at all...
Keep your dreams alive by never giving up on them.
[rebelmouse-image 18360605 is_animated_gif=Your dreams do not stop in the 20's. If you want to go back to school and to go into the career you always wanted. Do It! Be patient with yourself and love yourself.
Helping others develop skills in a particular field can be very rewarding.
[rebelmouse-image 18360606 is_animated_gif=The most valuable skill you can acquire is the ability to form judgments and offer advice. This is the central job of consultants, lawyers, doctors, engineers, and others. If you have experience and/or expertise in some area (it might be marketing of a product, or it might be the use of some website, such as eBay), you can sell yourself and profit. Focusing on that will improve your ability to keep a steady income. People who focus only on the performance of a particular task become expendable when technology changes or younger and cheaper workers come along.
Maintaining good physical health can greatly improve self-image and increase productivity.
[rebelmouse-image 18360607 is_animated_gif=If you aren't already, get in shape. 40 year old you will thank you.
Getting enough sleep is vastly underrated advice.
[rebelmouse-image 18360608 is_animated_gif=Keep moving forward, let those that are a toxic influence go. Get enough sleep.
Change is healthy. Embrace it.
[rebelmouse-image 18360609 is_animated_gif=Change is key. For whatever issue you might have with your life, change is the only way to get rid of it. Look at whatever issue you have and see: What did I change to remove it? What can I change to remove it?
You are your own best investment. Working for yourself is incredibly rewarding. It's freedom.
[rebelmouse-image 18360610 is_animated_gif=Work for yourself. Start a business, pour yourself into it and reap the benefits.
Travel the world by yourself. It's amazing what you'll discover.
[rebelmouse-image 18360611 is_animated_gif=I strongly suggest doing the rough backpacky couch surfy kind of traveling when you're young. Loses it's appeal when you've got higher standards.
Find a field that interests you and pursue it fully, one step at a time.
[rebelmouse-image 18360612 is_animated_gif=I didn't finish school/start my career until I was 31. 14 years later I make great money and thanks to that my husband was able to retire early. Advice- research your field of interest, intern, volunteer, and make sure you have a future in it. Take a class at a time until you finish school. Don't look for the light at the end of the tunnel. Take it a semester at a time. Don't give up!!
Simple, but profound. Things seldom go the way they are supposed to. Brace for it.
[rebelmouse-image 18359335 is_animated_gif=Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.
Credit scores hold enormous influence over our lives, and they are very fragile.
[rebelmouse-image 18360613 is_animated_gif=Started at 29. Build your credit, no matter how bad it is. Do whatever it takes.
We don't talk about Bruno... and all of the other crazies in the family.
Maybe that is why that song struck such a chord... we can all relate to family secrets and family crazy.
Even though every generation has gotten a little more open and willing to discuss trauma, we still have a long way to go.
There is something to be said for not airing out all of the dirty laundry.
Everybody doesn't have to know private business.
Redditor istrx13 was wondering things families don't talk about...
They asked:
"What is the 'we don’t talk about that' in your family?"
I'm not getting into my family. You'll have to wait for the play.
The 30s...
"My great aunt was a nurse supervisor at a mental hospital back in the 1930s. She fell in love with a patient who was being evaluated to stand trial for murder. She helped him escape and they went to Florida to hide out. But they were eventually found and the guy was put on trial and got the chair. My aunt got off easy, but she moved far away and rarely came home."
p38-lightning
he didn't make it...
"The brother that was born between me and my first sister. It was my mothers second child. Apparently he only lived about 3 days. Neither my mom nor my dad ever wanted to talk about it much. My sisters and I both have seen the birth certificate, which my parents kept."
"We also know there were about 3 years where they waited before my mom became pregnant with my sister afterward. Both of my parents are deceased now and to be frank, I think I only got about a paragraph of conversation about it, ever, from either of my parents. Just a, 'he didn't make it.'"
"It's not creepy or some strange thing, it's just sad. You can tell it affected them both very powerfully, especially to go the rest of their lives and not really share it with current and future children they had. It must have been horrible."
suddenlyreddit
Now that she's dead...
"My mother's cult-induced severe mental illness, which caused her to viciously abuse her two oldest children verbally and physically, and forced my dad to have her committed to a mental hospital several times. Now that she's dead, we still don't talk about her much, lest she "come back from beyond the grave" and continue her lunatic ways..."
LusciousLennyStone
“drama”
"That I have been in contact with my birth family. My older brother and I are both adopted, but he has publicly stated that he has no intention to contact his own birth family, because, he feels that it would be disrespectful to the parents that have raised us, like, why mess with a good thing?"
"So, I’ve never told him that I did it. My husband also didn’t think I should contact them, he was concerned that there would be 'drama.' I keep in touch with some of my birth family mostly online and so far there’s been no drama."
Relevant_Proposal_63
Hey Stud
"That my late uncle was a gigolo. Only my father and I know the truth."
KazumaWillKiryu
Now being a gigolo has got to be a great story. Tell us more...
"always is right"
"My 'always right' aunty got proven wrong for once and rather than just accept it, she ghosted the whole family except for her immediate. Sometimes I talk to my cousins and always ask how wrong Wendi is doing?"
-AntiVegan-
"silver fox"
"How my uncle, whom is a single, 'silver fox' (so my grandma calls him), multimillionaire, executive of one of the big 3 car companies is secretly gay. We ALL know except grandma, that's why we don't talk about it. He also has no idea that the whole family knows."
laurmichele
All the Feels
"Sex, love, anorexia, emotions in general."
Constant-Memory-1069
"Mate, literally same. My parents are the most emotionally unavailable people I have ever met. It's not really their fault bc my entire family is cooked mental health wise, but damn."
"I'm convinced it was a huge contributing factor to my anorexia diagnosis. Lots of emotional turmoil but I wasn't taught how to talk about emotions, wasn't even really exposed to emotions, and no one to talk with about them anyway. Only way I could signal to the outside world I was not OK was starving myself, I guess. I'm ok now. Hope you are also ok."
Soggy_Biscuit_
Crazy Woman
"My cousin who is absolutely crazy. Got an abortion because she hated the guy, got married to him a few months later and started a family (they have 3 kids who are demons)… they moved out of state but she started coming back home once every few months to drop off the kids at her parents and then go on a bender and basically live in a motel for a few days."
"Then the divorce came, she married one of the guys she was banging on the side, got divorced again after cheating on him with husband number 1… now she’s dating her drug dealer. Again she still has custody of her 3 kids."
Old-Air1062
Whoops...
"I was a complete accident. They found out at the wedding and I’m pretty sure my Christian grandparents weren’t happy. They’ve only talked about it a few times."
AHorrorFreak
Some secrets are meant to stay in the family and meant to go to the grave.
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For the most part, survival tips have been taught to us from a young age. We know to call 911 if there's an emergency and to put pressure on a bleeding wound. Boy Scouts know to be always prepared. Hikers know to conserve water, campers know how to build a fire, and anyone who spends a great deal of time outdoors knows how to locate shelter.
However, those skills are pretty basic. If you get into real trouble, you'll need more specific survival skills in order to get yourself out of trouble.
Some people can give you survival tips that can mean the difference between life and death. Others may give you tips that seem to make sense, but will probably only lead to death. It can be a great skill to learn the difference.
That's probably the thought process that led Redditor scarredforlife164 to ask:
"What "survival tips" would probably get you killed?"
Not All Meat Is Safe To Eat
"Saw this on a survival show:
“If you find a dead animal and it’s fairly fresh (flies haven’t set in) its relatively safe to eat because a. It’s fresh b. Nothing has had a chance to spread disease to it by eating.”
"Problem is that if you can’t see a visible reason for death, it’s probably disease that killed the damn thing and you’re about to eat it."
"A girl on Naked and Afraid 40 days quoted the survivalist that said this shortly after finding a bird on the ground of the jungle she was in. The bird was fresh, still warm, flexible etc, just dead."
"She ended up contracting avian tuberculosis, which is apparently really hard to do if you’re not a bird"
– Apprehensive_Oven924
"This is why my parents always told me to not even touch dead animals (exemption: our pets, but we knew why they died). I can't believe that anyone would just eat some random dead animal."
– Nico_MyTrueSelf
The Shock Won't Save You
"Had a coworker try and tell me once the best way to disarm a guy pointing a handgun at your face was to quickly slap his hand holding the pistol because it would "shock him into dropping it". I've never tested the theory but I'm willing to bet any shock would just as likely cause that trigger finger to clench as well."
– ArchaeoFox
The Importance of Water
"Conserving all of your water. If you’re thirsty, drink!"
– getyourcheftogether
"Not drinking your water when lost and thirsty because you're almost out of water. There are lots of people found with water left who were fully dehydrated but to scared to run out of water"
– Logitoh
Don't Let Him Catch Up To You!
"run in a zig zag away from crocodiles, it just tires you out"
– No_Government_3604
Never Arm You Opponent
"Throwing knives were a thing when I was in the Army. If you have a knife and your opponent does not, don’t give it to him or her."
–Grillparzer47
"The enemy cannot push a button...if you disable his hand."
– hardspank916
Report It Right Away
"that you have to wait a certain amount of time before reporting someone missing. no, the second someone is missing, report it"
– karleyh6
No Bear Is One Color
"If its black fight back, if its brown lay down. Brown bears can be black and black bears can be brown"
– random_person4444
Run, Run As Fast As You Can
"Any “learn to fight in a weekend” martial arts tips. Step one: run like a mother f*cker."
– dewayneestes
Don't Drink Cactus Juice
"DO NOT DRINK WATER FROM A CATUS WHEN YOU’RE THIRSTY IN THE DESERT. IT IS PROBABLY GOING TO KILL YOU BEFORE DEHYDRATION DOES."
– Consistent_Leopard77
Tornado Tips
"DO NOT lay in a roadside ditch or hide under a bridge during a tornado."
"There's a good chance the tornado will flip your car on top of you in the ditch."
"Under the bridge will turn into a wind tunnel, accelerating the debris that will rip your body to shreds."
– tyleristheman02
Did you learn something? I certainly didn't know black bears could be brown and brown bears could be black. Of course, I prefer not to need to know anything about bears at all!
Survival tips are certainly important to know. Just make sure whatever tips you get are from a reputable source.
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There are certain things you should not be skimpy about when it comes time to buy them. For example: toiletries. Why in the world would you want to use somebody else's toothbrush? A used toothbrush, we should underscore.
You'd run away screaming if you saw a used one sitting on a shelf at Goodwill, wouldn't you? Of course you would. You would immediately go to the pharmacy and pick up a brand new one, like a smart person.
People shared their thoughts with us after Redditor Idkewokorsomthing asked the online community:
"What is the one thing you should always buy new?"
"Once it's been in an accident..."
"Bike helmets. Once it’s been in an accident or even just dropped, the foam is compressed and won’t protect you as much."
beetlereads
This is very true! Do not ever use a helmet that's already sustained an accident. It could be as bad as not wearing one at all.
"Fire chief in my town once said a ladder truck. He wouldn’t ask anyone to climb a used ladder. A used tanker or ambulance maybe."
Ok-cantaloupe7160
Don't those things have maintenance and inspection protocols in place? I would certainly hope so.
"Hard drives and flash memory..."
"Any sort of computer storage."
"Hard drives and flash memory used in solid state drives and flash drives wears down over time. The more you read and write to it, the more it wears down. If you buy used, you don't know what that storage was used for, how often, or how heavily. It could last you years to come or die the next day."
Batcastle3
Considering the lifetime of SSDs, it's kinda okay. There is almost no way to break one, and the cell life time is good, and controllers help protecting them from wear leveling.
For HDDs though, buying used drives is a bad idea.
"It's one thing..."
"Fabric furniture. It’s one thing to by your friends couch, but you have no idea what was going on with that sofa sitting in goodwill."
PMme
Bedbugs are terrifying. Trust me, you never want to deal with them.
"Though really..."
"Wicker furniture. Though really, you shouldn't buy that type of furniture at all. It's the perfect nesting space for bugs."
[deleted]
See?! What did I tell you?! Don't do it!
"You can't use them..."
"Oh, and baby car seats. You can't use them after a car accident and buying secondhand means you can't always verify that it hasn't been in one."
[deleted]
I would certainly hope that people aren't still using them after accidents. That's just asking for trouble.
"Once they've been..."
"Shoes, especially for kids. Once they've been worn in to conform with someone else's foot, you don't want your kids putting their growing feet in there to get reshaped."
i_know_tofu
Also... gross. Just gross.
Get your kids feet measured regularly and listen to your kids if they tell you that their shoes are too tight of they hurt.
"They're expensive..."
"Children's car seats. They're expensive but there's no guarantee what condition they are in second hand, particularly if they've been through an accident already."
[deleted]
Parents, take note! You'll definitely thank yourselves later.
"Climbing rope. You can't tell how many falls its had or how old it is, and it's literally your life line when you're rock climbing."
JudeoCrustacean
Very important! People die in climbing accidents each year – don't be one of them.
"It's actually not healthy..."
"Shoes. It’s actually not healthy to walk in some other person's shoes. It has an impact on your whole body and can cause severe different pains in your body."
pulpriot
You don't want to have issues with your feet in later life! Again, you'll be thankful you listened to this advice.
Some other things I'd add off the top of my head: Mattresses, power supplies, oh, and... this should go without saying, but underwear,
Yes, underwear. The human race pains me.
Have some recommendations of your own? Tell us more in the comments below!
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I've got a decent amount of animals - some fish, turtles, dogs, etc. - but out of all of them, Optimus Prime is definitely *my* pet.
He's kind of a jerk to everyone else, but a with me he's a the biggest bestest beefaroni boy.
That is an outright lie, this dog is awfully behaved and taught himself how to open doors so he stays letting mosquitos in the house and air conditioning all of South Florida instead of just my living room. I just have a soft spot for him.
But here's the thing - soft spot or not, if someone offered me $50k for this dog, my reaction wouldn't be horror because I just love my "shmoopies" and even can't imagine. I'm not that privileged.
I grew up poor, believe me I've imagined $50k a lot. "Shmoops" might get voted off the island when $50k keeps your babies safe and housed. Relax, animal lovers. Optimus Prime is in no danger of going anywhere.
Nobody is tryna pay $50k to be headbutted and farted at all day.
That fact is precisely why my reaction to someone offering me cash for him would be straight up suspicion.
Optimus is a big beautiful male pit bull with so much muscle that he has abs on his butt.
He doesn't have any official papers, and he's fixed so he can't be used for breeding.
He's not a therapy dog and doesn't do any special tricks (on purpose) and in the time it took me to write this intro he farted so loudly that he scared himself awake and then got so excited by the sudden wake up that he did 3 bunny bounces. It's clear this would not be a high-skilled-labor kind of hire, ya know?
So why would someone want to spend that much money on this dog specifically?
Hmm?
I'd be suspicious that anyone willing to drop serious money on him was going to try to use his size and strength in dog fights and THAT is not gonna fly with me. Not a chance.
The person offering would have to convince me that they're willing to spend that much money on a giant dumb pit bull for some non-fighting reason and that he would have a dope life. Maybe I'd say yes because they sincerely believe he's the reincarnated spirit of their college bro who died in a horrific skiing accident, and they need to take him on a cross country road trip to fulfill the last thing on their bromantic bucket list?
Maybe.
Reddit user spondgbob asked:
"If someone offered you $50,000 to buy your pet, how would you respond?"
Here's what Reddit has to say.
Outside
"I'd tell them to meet me outside the local PetSmart in an hour and then rush there and buy a hamster or something."
"Kind of my only option since I don't have a pet."
- eleven_eighteen
"You sir, are playing 3D chess while the rest of us are all playing checkers."
- StillAll
Irrational Love
"Great question."
"Made me think for a second because my immediate answer is no but upon thinking about it, and how badly I need the money, the answer is still no."
"Irrational love is crazy."
- To_Fight_The_Night
"Same."
"I could desperately use that money and there's nothing special about my cats. Took a moment to realize it's completely irrational but I could never part with these idiots."
"The harder question after this is at what price point, if any, would you do it?"
- joyfall
Everything Has A Price
"Everything has a price, and they’re in luck that the price for my blind, deaf, arthritic dog happens to be $50k"
- DoctorDblYou
"I mean $50k is $50k."
- MinnesotaMiller
"Like I get that some people view pets as family, good for them. I don't, so as long as they weren't gonna torture the animal or something, then 100% would do it."
- avelak
Poo Problems
" 'You may have the one that runs from it's own poo after it sh*ts' "
- Blastin-Ass
"Had a cat get spooked while sh*tting... when it finished he managed to nuke 4 rooms :( "
- tuffymon
"I call what my dog does a 'poop-about.' "
"Like a walk-about, but she is pooping as she waddles around the yard sniffing rocks and stuff. She's a weird critter and I love her more than anything."
- cycloptopussy
"One of my earliest memory is having a blast farting in the bathtub... and then..."
"Don't make fun of your pet, your own poop can be very scary and we deserve love no less than more courageous creatures."
- RaccoonyDave·
Bye
"Give it to them."
"I love my aquarium and fish in it. But I could build a sweet aquarium set up with $50k."
- Inner-Nothing7779
"Exactly! I wouldn't sell my dog but I'd give my aquariums away for 50k."
"One of them is a custom that a built a background for and I'd still give it away for 50k."
- RPC3
"Yeah, I would sell my cat in a heartbeat. Call me a narcissist I guess."
"Good thing I dont have kids."
- Maggy_Monster
$100k
"I'll take the $100,000 in cash."
"50k to give him to you and another 50k to take him back tomorrow when you've finally reached your limit and can't keep him anymore."
"My dog has his own spirit animal, and that spirit animal is a bag of dicks."
"My dog has separation anxiety and a powerful set of lungs."
"I have to drop him off at my mom's house on the way to work so he can be with someone familiar or else he'll be howling all day. He sounds like a dying bison."
"I'm talking loud enough to hear inside your house half a block away. While he's *inside* my house!"
- Tobias_Atwood
Medical Needs
"I'd sell."
"My kitty is old at this point and I worry now. Someone willing to pay $50k for her probably has the money to take care of medical needs that will be coming soon. That's money I dont have."
"I love her, she has been my family for 17 years now, but if she gets sick reality is I'm gonna have to get her put down probably. She'd have a better chance with someone rich to spoil her at the end."
- BlueClouds42
Sick Sh*t
"I'm shocked by everyone saying they'd do it?!"
"If someone is willing to pay that much, just imagine the sick sh*t they are planning on doing. No way I could live with myself."
"Would you sell your kid? You can get a lot more than 50k for one of them..."
"I have a hard time believing someone willing to sell a dog for a 'lot of money' wouldn't be tempted to or actually sell a child."
"It's alooooot of money for children, so if money is the motivator...."
- Pepperclue_55
Little Napoleon
"Couldn't sell."
"My a$$hole cat is a jerk, but family. Though I would expect a lot of push to sell him since he is mean to everyone with only rare moments of niceness."
"Plus they whoever got him would likely kill him."
"He is allergic to fish, can't wear a collar even a breakaway one (somehow almost strangled himself twice), sits in the middle of the road if he escapes, eats the random stuff on the ground, randomly attacks people (full on claws, teeth- goes for the veins usually breaks skin and causes a bruise), has diseases, and goes after other animals in the house regardless of size."
"I hate it and get mad at my boyfriend every time he says it, but he jokes that natural selection is trying its best with my cat. He's kind of right."
"He is untrainable and awful, but incredibly cute and everyone wants to pet him (but quickly learn not to go near him.) At least he does not attack kids 5 and under though."
"I wanted to name him lil Napoleon as he is perpetually ready for a battle and a short legged munchkin. I took him in from my sister but couldn't change his name so it became my nickname for him."
- Wolfling
Get Over It
"It is a beta fish that we have had for six days. The kids are currently celebrating it still being alive because they accidentally killed our first fish in about six hours."
"Suffice to say, I’m pretty sure we can get them over it."
"Yes please on the $50,000."
- NurmGurpler
Time to be honest with yourself—would you do it?
What would your reaction be?
Let's argue in the comments!
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