Stories of teenage stupidity, we all have them. The flood of hormones, a strong desire to carve out your own identity, and poor decision making skills is a recipe for disaster...and hilarity.
Back in the early 2000's though we were of course the cool ones though. With our *extra wide leg* jnco jeans, black lipstick, snarky t-shirts, and spiked accessories we were just “so totally unique". Anyone who dared mention that maybe 20 pounds of denim, spikes, and poorly done makeup wasn't the most flattering was definitely a “normie" who just didn't understand...
They did, they were trying to help us not look like a youth group rolled around in a bin of London punk leftovers no one wanted.
Wanting to hear everyone's teenage embarrassment Redditor vitreousmellow asked:
“What is your most stupid teenage story?"
The responses were JUICY.
“And thats how my friend did $12000 in damage to his car while trying to be James Bond."
“Senior year, i'm in the back seat of my buddy's car, we'll call him Alex, with another friend in the passenger seat. We're just driving along when Alex says 'hey guys, wanna see what i learned how to do?' as he pulls into an empty parking lot and drives to end. Throws the car in reverse gets up to about 35 MPH when he cuts the wheel hard and we spin around in a perfect 180. I can't lie and say it wasn't f*cking awesome as a 17-year-old."
“So we do this 2 or 3 more times and decide to leave because we attracted some attention. On the ride home, Alex expresses his desire to pull this spin move on a real street "like James Bond" (actual quote). One block away from our destination he stops and points to an unusually wide street, 'dude that's totally wide enough' WRONG."
“So he starts the process. There we are 35 MPH backwards and he cuts the wheel, only this time we don't just spin perfectly in place. Instead our back end hits the curb sending the front end spinning into the curb also. It happened so fast there was a loud bang/boom/crash, and the three of us dumbfounded with the car full of airbag powder and dust all say 'o man o man are you ok? are you ok? what just happened.'"
“We get out to find his wheel just laying next to his car, it had snapped off the axel. And thats how my friend did $12,000 in damage to his car while trying to be James Bond."
“Oh, I got one I'm particularly ashamed of. In high school, I was a particularly angry and a very angsty teenager. Too add to that, I was obsessed with werewolves. It was all I can think about all the time, I wanted be one. I actually searched the Internet to find ways to become one and I prayed to god to turn me into one.”
“In my junior/senior year, I started to tell people I was a werewolf. Don't ask me why, because I seriously don't have a straight answer to give you. I guess it was out of wishful thinking. Several years later, I grew out of that phase and I look back and think "what the f*ck was I thinking?"
The point, you missed it buddy.frustrated youtube GIF by Hyper RPG Giphy
“When a female friend asked 16 year old me to go skiing (my favorite sport). We got stuck on a chairlift for a good 30 minutes and, although it wasn't very cold, she kept saying how cold she was and cuddling up to me. Really close. And giggling. And she was beautiful. But all I thought at the time was 'why the f*ck is she so cold it's like 30 degrees'."
"Reminds me of freshman year of college. Girl I was flirty friends with all through high school invited me to come to her dorm after class to meet her dog. I met the dog. She then asked if I wanted to listen to this new CD she got, but the CD player was in her bedroom."
"Then she asked if I wanted to sit on her mattress because it was supposed to be this super comfortable orthopedic mattress. So I sat on her bed and listened to the CD while petting her dog. When I got up to leave, she asked if I wanted to just hang out there for a while instead of walking back to my dorm in the snow."
"My response was just "nah, I got some homework I wanna do." The second the door to the building locked behind me, I realized what a moron I was. The walk back home was very cold, indeed."
“I really hated being a nerd in middle school so I dressed horribly slutty gothic in high school years freshman and sophomore. God it was awful. I remember being a senior in high school and looking through those photos and asking my mom ‘why didn't you tell me how horrible I was dressing?!’ Her reply ‘I knew you'd figure out you look like sh*t eventually.’”
“This brought up an embarrassing memory I completely forgot about until I read this. I had a whole I'm a witch phase, once I found an old bottle with green glass. I decided to grind up magical powder and curse people who pissed me off by gently sprinkling some on them without their knowledge, kept 'magic' powder in glass bottle."
“Older sister's friend comes over they won't let me hang out with them. Time for the bottle b*tch, no way of sneaking into the room without being noticed, try to run by the room and throw powder end up peppering my sister's friend in the face, gets in her eyes. My sister was like what in gods name are you doing! Friend is super pissed."
“I ground up sidewalk chalk with a cheese grater and put it in an old coke bottle y'all. OMG I'm crying, It wasn't even fully grated pieces of it got in her eyes. I was like 'Behold the magic of my crayola chunky chalk dust!' Oh I can't breathe!!!"
Best Excuses For Late Assignments That Were Actually True | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
“Nothing could be weirder than the beautiful stripper preacher...”
“When I was 15 I skipped school to hang out in a seedy music store where I was offered my first paid gig to play in an Irish band in a bar a few miles down the road that night. I could only sorta-kinda play the banjo at this point. No... That is not quite true. I was terrible. I also knew nothing about Irish music."
“Oh. One more thing. I am almost deaf. The man who hired me had such a thick brogue that I could hardly understand him. That night, I climbed out of my window and, banjo in hand, headed out into Philadelphia. It started to rain, so I decided to hitchhike. This was easy to do in 1985."
“Just stand on the side of the road playing the banjo and somebody will pick you up. I had a roll of nickles in my right jacket pocket, a Buck knife on my belt and a collapsible steel baton in my left jacket pocket. I was not worried. I was loaded for bear and ready for anything."
“A little sports car stopped in the middle of the road. Blocking traffic. A man in acid-washed jeans and a neon pink tank top jumped out from the driver's seat. He was highly muscled. I mean, he was so highly muscled that the streetlights and headlights created patterns of shadow and light that were only accentuated by his rippling physique. I'm not even gay and I noticed this. He was that beautiful."
'“Get in! Get in!' the beautiful man yelled. It was raining and I needed a ride. I got in. As soon as I close the door he takes off. He gives me a sideways glance and asked me if the banjo in my hands was a banjo.
"The last time I was asked this question by somebody picking me up on the road, it was followed with a creepy laugh and, 'Have you ever seen that movie, Deliverance?' I jumped out, banjo and all. Just opened the car door and threw myself out as the driver screamed, 'I was joking!'"
"So, when the beautiful man asked me about my instrument I was a bit cautious when I replied the affirmative. 'YES! THANK YOU JESUS! PRAISE GOD!' His shout was followed by a rapid succession of jabs to the steering wheel. I was wrestling with my seatbelt and reaching for the roll of nickels. I was about to break this guy's jaw and bounce."
"The he calmed down and told me his story: He had been a male stripper. Then he got saved and found Jesus. I asked him where Jesus was hiding. He just gave me a confused look before continuing. After getting saved he stopped taking his clothes off for women and was now going so some Bible school to become a Pentecostal preacher."
"When he left home for school, his dad gave him a banjo. This very night, he had been driving around with his daddy's banjo on the back seat, praying out loud for his Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, to send him a banjo teacher - and then I just appeared out of the rain."
"I looked in the back seat. There was a banjo. His story was too crazy to be anything but true. I let him buy me dinner and I gave him his first banjo lesson before he dropped me off at the bar. When we got to the bar, when he realized I really was 15, when he realized I was not joking about sneaking out of my house, the stripper turned preacher started to cry a little."
"I had to let him pray over me a bit to shake him. I walked into the bar telling myself that the evening would go smoothly from this point on. Nothing could be weirder than the beautiful stripper preacher. I was an hour early. The band had not arrived yet. Everybody in the bar stared at me..."
It—somehow—did indeed get weirder...
“I talked the bartender into letting me have a Coke while I waited for the band. Rough hands turned me around on the barstool. I was rushed by three large men. They never touched me, but instead wedged themselves to my left and right. With my back against the bar, I was helpless while the leader of the pack addressed me. 'So, we have a musician here tonight. Will you play for us?'"
“That's all they want? No problem. They let me loose, so I could break out my banjo and play a few tunes for the patrons. Everybody remained stone-faced. The three big guys grab me again. I am pinned on the barstool again. This time with my banjo on my lap."
"'That'sanicebanjo lad doyouthink I couldplayitwith me d!ck?' I stared at the leader. He was big, and filthy. He was wearing a loose T-shirt and red shorts. I asked him to repeat himself. 'I said, that's a nice banjo. Do you think I could play it with me d!ck?' My hearing, the Irish brogue, it had to be a joke. I puffed out my chest. 'I'd like to see you try!'"
“Too quickly for me to react, like a drunk Irish ninja, the red shorts were around his ankles. He took hold of his manhood and started flopping himself against the steel strings of my banjo.
“The bartender, whose name was Pat, shook his white Irish mane and, in a thick brogue proclaimed, 'He's at it again!' In the many years since I find myself wondering about Pat's proclamation."
"More happened. A lot more - but I think I should end my tale with this: I noticed something about the bar. There were pictures of the queen and Margret Thatcher hanging upside-down over the bar. As the weeks went by, I couldn't help that a lot of the band's songs were about hating the British. This did not bother me much because I was getting paid, and I was hanging out in bars."
"It was too much fun to think about it. A few of the places we played were basement rooms, houses and closed bars. Finally, dad followed me one night. I'm up on stage with the band, the women in the crowd were dancing, the men were drinking and all the way in the back was my dad and Pat the bartender."
"I could tell from the hand gestures and laughter that Pat was telling my father about the great Banjo and Penis Showdown. The band spotted my dad. On one hand, they were worried I was not going to be allowed to play with them anymore. On the other hand, it was funny as hell to watch me squirm."
"During a break, I walked slowly to dad's table. He wasn't even mad. He told me that everybody in the place had good things to say about me, that the band sounded good, and we were probably raising money for the IRA. Well, that explained a lot."
"Dad gave me one of those 1-800 calling cards. He told me to carry it, so I could call him if/when I got into trouble. Then he left. He let me keep on playing. That morning when I got home, things were different with me and my parents. My dad started joining me on my adventures, and eventually the two of us wound of performing together. I'm in my 50s now. Dad and I still jam together."
Epic fail.world's funniest fails GIF by Fox TV Giphy
“In high school we used to think it was cool to climb up to the roof and hang out there late at night for no reason. One time around midnight a group of us were up there on my buddy's roof and he decided to climb down without waiting for anyone to hold the ladder. He proceeds to slip, takes the ladder down with him, and face plants into the driveway."
“There was no other good way down, so while he's laying down there moaning in a pool of blood, we had to climb up above his parents' bedroom and start stomping and yelling for help (this was in the 90s before everyone had cell phones). Finally after a few minutes his dad comes running out in his underwear, sees his son, and goes apesh!t screaming at us."
“Eventually he props the ladder back up so we can get down, yelling the whole time, while the mom takes my friend to the ER. He ended up with a few chipped teeth and had to wear braces again for about 6 months but otherwise wasn't too banged up. The dad actually apologized for yelling the next time we saw him. We were just like, no reason to apologize considering we almost killed your son."
No good seems to come from trying to impress girls.
“Tried to 'impress' a few girls and have them think I was a daredevil. A buddy and I took these girls to a movie theater about 30 miles away. It ended around midnight, we were tired and just wanted to get home. Hit 120mph in my bad a** Oldsmobile, then slowed it down to 30mph."
“You know that feeling when you go really fast, then back to 'normal speeds'. You feel like you are now going very, very slow. I told my buddy, 'Hey, I bet I can run this fast...If I just jumped out, I'd be fine right?' He had the reassuring response of, 'Umm, sure?' Without thinking I opened the door and jumped out..."
“My feet hit the ground, my shoes went flying in the air. I smacked my head against the pavement and did two back rolls, gaining road burn in the process. I look up seeing my car drive slowly into a ditch...yup, I was driving before I jumped. As I laid there pulling my shirt away from my bleeding back I thought, 'Man, I am a stupid teenager.'"
“Reminds me of a friend in high school. We were in the classroom at the top of the stairs, the doors out of the building were at the bottom. It is the final class period of the day. The bell to leave rings...and he bolts from the room, turns and just flies down the stairs (I mean I could almost believe it if someone said that he just power dived off the top one and aimed for the bottom).”
“Yet, he manages to perfectly grab the push bars on both of the double doors leading out of the building, and flings them open in front of him with the added mass of the opening doors (still firmly in his grasp) adding to his forward momentum like a giant slingshot. He forgot that there was a post between the doors.”
These were some hilarious moments. The next generation will laug at their own soon as well.
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No one wants war.
Who is going to light the powder keg and set it all off?
Which country will start WW3? Why?
Does anyone really want to start another world war?
They may not have a choice in the matter.
Getting It Out Of The Way Early
"Austrian here, we will do it again probably, I would like to say sorry in advance! Most plausible reason at the moment is because Germans eat schnitzel with sauce on top, then this conflict will spiral out again into WW3."
"Third time's the charm!"
-Some Austrian, probably
Civil War 2: Electric Boogaloo
"It'll be a civil war that devolves into a world war, with no one country clearly responsible for this change."
"But we'll blame it all on germany again, right"
Why I Oughtta...
"At this point, there are enough nukes in the world to ensure that a World War would simply result in nuclear annihilation on all sides. Say what you want about authoritarians like Xi Jinping, Kim Jung Un, and Ali Khameni, they are many things; but they're not suicidal. They know that an all out war would just end everyone, including them, so they're not going to. This is why the US and the USSR never went to all out war, despite coming close a few times; the risks were just too great for both sides."
"What could easily happen, however, is another cold war, this time between the US and China. And like in the Cold War, there could be proxy wars fought as a result of it, but it's unlikely that any country will take the insane risks of starting World War 3."
A full-blown world war is a tricky thing to get off the ground, that is if anyone wants it. The leading cause to impending war could come out of nowhere, or somewhere completely unexpected, or perhaps it will never come.
2-Day War Delivery
"Bruh its gunna be Amazon, not a country"
"Jeff Bezos finna be dropping Amazon basics nukes on us"
Can It Even Happen?
"I don't think the world can handle another world war. simply for the sake that we're all so interconnected. every major nation trades with each other and are in bed with each other. I would be a detriment to whatever country starts a war."
"Think about how the global supply chain has been impacted by the pandemic, the world would probably cease to function all together in a major conflict."
"There was a quote I liked, I think it was from Dan Carlin. He said that leading up to WWI Europe had become too economically entwined to go to war with itself, but none of the economists were invited to the war councils. The generals making the decisions didn't understand the situation so they made dumb decisions. The situation is undoubtably more-so interconnected today, the question is, do we have economists making the call on starting wars?"
A Little Humor Before We Get To The Serious Stuff...
"Probably America, I mean they made Wonder Woman 1 & 2, so highly likely they'd make WW3. At least start it. Not sure why someone else would finish it."
"No, they don't know how to count.. They jumped from WW1 to WW84."
Is it in the realm of possibility? Possibly.
After all, people will be people.
Anyone Else Surprised? No?
"America have a surplus of military might, a recent history of starting wars for profit, EVERYTHING is politicised and extreme nationalism and xenophobia are normalised within the populace. I'm going with them."
These All Feel Tangible
"My guesses would be 1) USA vs China over Taiwan or 2) China vs India (a lot on tension there that doesn't get a lot of news attention)"
"India-Pakistan and China-India are hot beds."
"India and Pakistan have been at war numerous times since their inception. 5 'official' wars and 9 minor skirmishes, to be exact. The last conflict ended with a ceasefire in 2003, but the last incident was a series of skirmishes along the Line of Control in Kashmir, from November 2020 to February 2021."
"Neither is capable of a full-fledged invasion of the other, so it's limited to border disputes. And while Pakistan does have nukes, it would be suicide to use them. There's no incentive for any other countries to get involved."
Going For It
"China making a move on Taiwan or some other land grab in India or other bordering countries."
An Infectious Idea
"India and Pakistan. It will spread to China, then North Korea (or North Korea first) and pull in many others in Asia. This will pull in NATO, either directly or via global partners (Australia)."
This One Makes WAY Too Much Sense
"Twitter. Someone will probably make a typo that everyone takes the wrong way..."
Well, what do you think could happen? Let us know in the comments.
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So let's talk about how a dog owner on Facebook learned her dog's "adorable" behavior was, in fact, furious masturbation.
Readers, if you know anything about me you know I love a good plot twist and I love chonky puppers.
Yesterday, life combined my two great loves in a hilarious and inappropriate way.
I was mindlessly scrolling through my dog groups on Facebook when a video with a few hundred laugh reacts but almost no comments caught my eye.
The still from the video was a pudgy little Frenchie, so obviously I had to read and watch.
The dogs owner shared the video along with a post asking professionals to shed some light on why he does what he does.
Owner-obliviousness as they gushed about how adorable it was made the awkward even better.
The owner explained the Frenchie often makes aggressive eye contact and licks his lips while he "plays air guitar"—which is what the family calls it—and how cute & funny they all find the behavior.
The video was the dog, casually chilling, using his paw to rub the tip of his penis while staring awkwardly at the camera and licking his lips like a pup possessed.
Three hundred and fifteen laugh-reacts—at the time that I saw it—and only three comments:
1. a vet explaining that the behavior showed in the video was the dog masturbating while making direct eye contact
2. the owner giving a simple "thank you" and
3. the admins of the group closing the comments.
So, why am I sharing this with you?
Because Reddit user Drakmamman asked:
"Dog owners of reddit, what the dog doin?"
... and so now you get this whole article just so I had an excuse to tell y'all about a furiously fapping Frenchie, 'cause somebody else needed to know about him.
I cackled for a good 20 minutes imagining the family getting all giddy about their dog "playing air guitar"—making the little air guitar meedly squeedly noises while he played, maybe even playing along thinking they're enjoying a fun little game—but they're really just been giving a hair metal soundtrack to their dogs stroke sesh.
Something tells me now the owner knows what "air guitar" really is, they're not likely to rush and tell Reddit all about how they've been gathering as a family to watch cause it's just so cute.
That's what I'm here for.
Anyway, here's the stuff other people's dogs are up to. It's not fapping—or if it is, the owners aren't telling Reddit.
"Wife just came home with the baby. Dog is acting like she's been abandoned for years running up and down, barking and jumping on everything."
"They'd only been out an hour and I was with her the whole time." - Single_Goose7015
"My dog does this too when my wife comes home. Like what am I, chopped liver?" - jackof47trades
"I feel your pain. My dog started howling mournfully when my partner went back to work last week… I was right there!" - TreatOutside
"Staring at the door waiting for the only human he cares about to come home (obviously not me)" - SnarkyRedhead
"Probably trying to herd the cats."
"He's a border collie mix who's afraid of goats and sheep, but even after six years of living with them he still thinks he can control where the cats go."
"He's a good boy, he's very persistent, but not terribly bright sometimes." - TokesNotHigh
"After 8 years our border collie still herds the cats, and the vacuum." - psychologicaluse28
"Big heart, small brain. I have one of those dogs too. They are the sweetest." - Technobucket
"She has flung herself flat across the bed and is playing dead, quiet except for the occasional pitiful whine. Every now and then she lifts her head up and fixes a desperate look upon me, silently begging for release from her wretched existence."
"She's a bit overdramatic about having to wear a cone. The issue is an abrasion on a toe that she won't stop licking, which is making it worse."
"I've been alternating between bandaging it and having her wear a cone. She's been consistently a drama queen." - halfinboxes
"Staring at me because their dinner time is in one hour and they need to start letting me know that, in an hour, they need to eat...in an hour, so I better not forget...cuz they're hungry, which is why they're staring at me...and it's almost dinner time."
"Just one more hour, And they want to make sure I don't forget. Because maybe I will."
"So, they need to remind me. By staring at me. Every day. One hour before dinner." - MotherOfFred
A Little "Light" ExerciseGiphy
"Mine loves light reflected off watches or phones. And loves lasers."
"It's sunny and he sees light on the wall so he is bothering me to use my watch or phone so he can chase the light. I've spent the last hour doing it."
"I even got him a cat laser toy that's automatic for him and he runs himself tired as all hell with it. But he is STILL asking for it."
"Used the laser toy also too, so he is panting dripping tongue and still wants to play more..." - boomgoon
"Last night my dogs chased down and killed a rabbit in the backyard. They are usually so gentle; this was weird and unexpected."
"I watched the whole thing helpless because it was so fast. The rabbit screamed, it was insane."
"Now, I'm watching them sleep on my couch and can't help but think they just murdered someone."
"They are just vicious predators, right here, in my house. On my couch."
"But they snuggly as f*ck. This trips me out." - Atheist_Redditor
A Problematic PrincessGiphy
"We have two chihuahuas. One is a 15 year old (quite appropriately) named Princess and one is a one year old named Charlie."
"Both have their own dog beds on the couch since they are spoiled."
"When Princess is feeling particularly moody or like asserting her dominance, she will drag Charlie's bed into her bed and lay on top of BOTH of them and snarl at him if he comes close to her personal space bubble/bed mountain."
"And when we tell her she can't have both beds and put his bed back to the side, she just glares at us. Lol." - mslm90
"She's currently in her cage resting after her great adventure."
"She managed to get upstairs and grab a hold of one of my shoes. Not just any old shoe, but one of the shoes I am planning to wear this weekend for my wedding."
"After running around, she dropped the shoe to chew on a shirt - at which point she was cornered, and then brought downstairs."
"Pup and shoe are both unharmed and doing well. My nerves, not so much." - still_interesting23
So ... what's YOUR dog been up to lately?
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Have you ever fantasized about what it would be like to win the lottery? Having money for the rest of your life, as far as the eye can see, to cover your expenses.
And have you thought about all the things you would buy if you could really afford them? Are they ALL practical things, or are some of them silly?
We always love to fantasize about what life would be like if money were no object. And you are not alone!
Redditor OnlyVillager asked:
"If you won the lottery, what's something 'useless' that you would buy?"
Here were some of those answers.
I Be The Witch Of The Wood
"My teenage daughter disclosed to me the other day that her biggest life goal is to buy a house on an acreage that has a large wooded area."
"She plans to build me a house in the woods, fund whatever ridiculous bullsh*t art installations I want to erect in the woods, then spread rumors in neighboring towns that a witch lives back there."
"She's the best."-OpossumJesusHasRisen
My Kingdom For A Castle
"I'm blowing it all on a castle. No, not one of those fairy tale mansions from the 19th century robber barons called 'castles'.
"A fully loaded, honest-to-god, obsolete, medieval fortress. Two curtain walls, a keep, towers, barbican, portcullis, murderholes, loopholes, machicolations, the works. It'll be a well warmed summer retreat/place to hide out if another plague hits the world."
"I'm buying Au Train island in the Upper Peninsula to be specific. When the feds finally come after billionaires to pay their fair share, I'm running to my island and sealing the gates behind me."
"So I can get my affairs in order and pay my taxes. What were you thinking I was gonna do? Hide from the IRS? They can breach any castle lmao."-DaemonTheRoguePrince
I Wanna Be A Billionaire
- "I want a cold water dispenser on my desk. It has to be connected to the water line, filtered and cooled. Ideally it also has that thing that automatically knows when the container is almost full."
- "My new lifestyle would be to live 4 weeks in a different city, then 1 week at home. In each city, I would stay in a Luxury Airbnb or a five star hotel."
- "I would hire a professional soccer coach. I'm talking someone that trains pro players. I'm Arab and I'm tired of not being good at soccer, just a few months of lessons and I'll be able to participate in pick up games and have fun."
- "I would also hire singing, guitar and piano instructors. Singing would be the toughest because my voice sucks, but I figure with time I can be good enough to sing a song if I want to reference it. That's how bad I am today."-Reformedjerk
Imagine just not having to think when you click the "purchase" button.
A Nice Siesta
"Maybe not exactly "useless" in the way people are thinking (the way the question is asked makes me think by "useless" they mean "stupid/wasteful" but I'm thinking in terms of things that are fun and only for the purpose of having fun), but do vacations count?"
"If I had that much money all to myself, I would 100% rather have a regular sized house/car and spend the money on experiences instead."
"The idea of having a normal life but knowing that I can just decide to take the day off and go to DisneyLand or treat myself to a fancy dinner whenever the hell I want to is a fantasy I've had since I was literally a little kid."
"I get that those aren't useful things because they're not things I could USE like a car/house/purse/etc, but I'd definitely be happy:)"-StreetIndependence62
"Well this stuff is only useless if there isn't some sort of apocalyptic event that happens in my lifetime."
"That said, I'd go full prepper and bury myself a bunker in the desert with tons of food and water stored away and decked out with solar panels, a garage full of electric cars, and a stash of every sort of modern electronic equipment available in vast quantities."
"So this would be a huge waste of money if there's never an apocalypse. But it would be very valuable to me if there happens to be one."-TimHawks1983
"I have always wanted a talking toilet. I don't even know why at this point. I just saw it on a tv show, don't even remember what, and since that day I have thought 'yes, I want this.'"
"But right now, with my paupers wage, I cannot afford such a thing. I have a lot of serious plans for lottery level money. I would open a shelter for homeless people and start my own dog shelter. As well as my own theme park."
"But I would still get a talking toilet."-MagnificentColossus
Put Your Bird On My Shoulder
"I would get into falconry, vintage guitars from the 50s and 60s, a live in Cook, most of the surfaces that I touch would be marble, and I would save a significant portion of my money to split between investments and gambling on riskier stocks."
"Depending on how much money a private jet would be in the cards as well as a flight license. This is one of my favorite things to daydream about"-freemason777
The best part of all of this is, it doesn't matter that these things are useless.
They bring us joy, and that is what matters.
"Boring" "Flame Thrower"???
"Definitely a boring company flame thrower. And a Barrett M82."
"Probably a supercar too, but not to drive it. I want to light it on fire in a public space as an appeal to consumerism right before I go take a private jet to Nappa Valley to eat at the French Laundry and get hammered on the most expensive bottles of wine I can find."-xdylanxfrommyspace
"There are many things I bought that I regretted it immediately. I love to try new stuff. Especially no-brand or brand that is not famous. My curiosity is very high, that is the problem."
"I wanted to know whether those products are okay for human being. For example, I bought BioAqua face products. The most product I regret is BioAqua aloe vera. After my third use of the product, I actually experience worst allergic in the world."
"My skin had a lot of red patches appeared in just few hours. It was itchy but not painful. Just I keep scratching my skin but I tried my best to control it."
"It took about three - five days to keep it clear with medication and creams. Then after a couple of weeks, I decided to use it again. I got the reaction."
"Thankfully, I still have the medication and the cream. So, I took it immediately. I also did not apply the cream that much compared to previous time."
"I still have the aloe vera bottle in my room. I wanted to throw it but I could not throw it. Yet, I cannot use it and yes, I feel sad when I saw it. So, you can understand how I feel."-nimbledealing53
Hobby Hobby Hobby!
"If I won the lottery - I would open a shop for my favorite hobby. I would manage it like a business, giving a decent wage to several workers allowing them to pursue a degree or whatever and have a job that doesn't suck."
"I'd lose money on running a store. But I'd enjoy it. I'd enjoy sharing my hobby, selling the stuff I love at reasonable prices and giving a few young people a good job in a stress free environment."
"Useless store, great life experience for the people I'd employ."-Dealthagar
Money doesn't solve all of the world's problems or all of a person's problems, even—but it certainly does make life a little easier here and there for those who need it.
Hopefully the 21st century sees all of us buying things with our millions of dollars.
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One of the most freeing realizations I've had was when I understood that not everyone was going to like me.
That's just the way it is for all of us, and I learned that it would be unfair for me to dedicate so much time worrying about what others might think.
It changed my life—improved it, I'd say.
That, combined with my willingness to take responsibility for my own actions, was crucial to my self-development.
Whether it's an epiphany or experience, there are many things that can happen and can successfully shift your perspective.
People shared their stories after Redditor drewyourstory asked the online community:
"What life event or experience changed your perspective?"
"From this, I learned..."
"Nearly died of a post-surgical hypoxic brain injury, followed by a variety of problems subsequently."
"From this, I learned that mortality is a fragile thing in a random, amoral universe."
It truly is. We really have no say in it either.
We really do not have control.
"Once you get your own place..."
"Once you finally get your own place, you appreciate and feel gratitude for things that you used to take for granted."
"It's helped me maintain..."
"My husband died after a sudden short illness. My life is divided by that point in time."
"There is before and after, I'm a different person now nearly 12 years later but I'm okay with that. It's helped me maintain a good perspective dealing with my current partner's stroke."
"He's doing ok but will never have the mobility he once had. Just taking one day at a time."
Sorry for your loss.
Silver linings exist... even in tragedy.
"I can put up with..."
"My spouse developed a chronic pain illness. She spent months in debilitating pain and there wasn't a goddamn thing I could do to help."
"When we finally got a diagnosis, she was able to start on some medications that improved her quality of life to near where it had been."
"Suddenly little problems just didn't seem important anymore. I can put up with a whole hell of a lot more than I ever thought possible because at least my partner's not in burning pain constantly anymore."
Thankfully, your partner is healthier, and the experience undoubtedly made you a stronger person!
"I had both hips replaced..."
"I had both hips replaced at 25 and will owe money for the rest of my life."
"My debt to income ratio keeps me from normal things like owning a house. I don't sweat missing a bill now and then anymore."
Society really should not allow this to happen.
"I think every single human..."
"I think every single human has experienced the feeling of post-traumatic guilt caused by something they've done in the past."
"For example, in elementary school, I had a best friend whose family was struggling financially. One day, he brings coins (pennies and nickels only) for his school lunch that day."
"I, for some stupid reason, smacked the change out of his hand as he took the change out to count how much he had."
"I got yelled at by the principal, who was walking behind me, and got suspended. Ever since that day, I have never ever made fun of someone's financial stability, given people money (especially the homeless), and never smacked anything out of anyone's hands."
"That moment changed my perspective on how the treatment towards others comes back to bite you."
"Holding my eight year old brother as he died from extreme medical incompetence then being stuck with his body for twenty minutes as a ventilator made his corpse breathe and a fault in the heart monitor didn't trigger the alarm to bring help and the nurses ignored the call light because they were 'busy with another patient'."
"I cared about people before then. I can switch that off and on at will now."
"Being from Canada..."
"Being from Canada, we're pretty sheltered here, so traveling to other parts of the world and seeing how poor some communities are really made me realize how lucky we are and how good we have it."
Many people in the Western world would learn a hell of a lot if they were humbled by the way others around the world live.
"I love him..."
"Having a child with autism. He is the most loving, kind, intelligent young man."
"I love him more than anything in the world, but I have to consider everyday events that others take for granted. There are things that will be overly stressful for him, and without any glaring differences, people are often not understanding."
"Family gatherings, grocery store visits, haircuts, the dentist, everything is planned."
"The world can be a noisy, chaotic, inconsistent place which are all things he really hates, but he meets every challenge head-on and I couldn't be prouder to call him my son."
"Have you ever just stood..."
"Have you ever just stood and looked at a dead person? The first dead person I ever saw was my father... I've seen probably more than my share after that too."
"Looking at someone with their lights permanently turned off changes something in you."
No one is immune from life's tragedies or trials and tribulations.
How do you handle them, though? That's the real test.
Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
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