Stories of teenage stupidity, we all have them. The flood of hormones, a strong desire to carve out your own identity, and poor decision making skills is a recipe for disaster...and hilarity.
Back in the early 2000's though we were of course the cool ones though. With our *extra wide leg* jnco jeans, black lipstick, snarky t-shirts, and spiked accessories we were just “so totally unique". Anyone who dared mention that maybe 20 pounds of denim, spikes, and poorly done makeup wasn't the most flattering was definitely a “normie" who just didn't understand...
They did, they were trying to help us not look like a youth group rolled around in a bin of London punk leftovers no one wanted.
Wanting to hear everyone's teenage embarrassment Redditor vitreousmellow asked:
“What is your most stupid teenage story?"
The responses were JUICY.
“And thats how my friend did $12000 in damage to his car while trying to be James Bond."
“Senior year, i'm in the back seat of my buddy's car, we'll call him Alex, with another friend in the passenger seat. We're just driving along when Alex says 'hey guys, wanna see what i learned how to do?' as he pulls into an empty parking lot and drives to end. Throws the car in reverse gets up to about 35 MPH when he cuts the wheel hard and we spin around in a perfect 180. I can't lie and say it wasn't f*cking awesome as a 17-year-old."
“So we do this 2 or 3 more times and decide to leave because we attracted some attention. On the ride home, Alex expresses his desire to pull this spin move on a real street "like James Bond" (actual quote). One block away from our destination he stops and points to an unusually wide street, 'dude that's totally wide enough' WRONG."
“So he starts the process. There we are 35 MPH backwards and he cuts the wheel, only this time we don't just spin perfectly in place. Instead our back end hits the curb sending the front end spinning into the curb also. It happened so fast there was a loud bang/boom/crash, and the three of us dumbfounded with the car full of airbag powder and dust all say 'o man o man are you ok? are you ok? what just happened.'"
“We get out to find his wheel just laying next to his car, it had snapped off the axel. And thats how my friend did $12,000 in damage to his car while trying to be James Bond."
Teen wolf...
“Oh, I got one I'm particularly ashamed of. In high school, I was a particularly angry and a very angsty teenager. Too add to that, I was obsessed with werewolves. It was all I can think about all the time, I wanted be one. I actually searched the Internet to find ways to become one and I prayed to god to turn me into one.”
“In my junior/senior year, I started to tell people I was a werewolf. Don't ask me why, because I seriously don't have a straight answer to give you. I guess it was out of wishful thinking. Several years later, I grew out of that phase and I look back and think "what the f*ck was I thinking?"
The point, you missed it buddy.
frustrated youtube GIF by Hyper RPGGiphy“When a female friend asked 16 year old me to go skiing (my favorite sport). We got stuck on a chairlift for a good 30 minutes and, although it wasn't very cold, she kept saying how cold she was and cuddling up to me. Really close. And giggling. And she was beautiful. But all I thought at the time was 'why the f*ck is she so cold it's like 30 degrees'."
"Reminds me of freshman year of college. Girl I was flirty friends with all through high school invited me to come to her dorm after class to meet her dog. I met the dog. She then asked if I wanted to listen to this new CD she got, but the CD player was in her bedroom."
"Then she asked if I wanted to sit on her mattress because it was supposed to be this super comfortable orthopedic mattress. So I sat on her bed and listened to the CD while petting her dog. When I got up to leave, she asked if I wanted to just hang out there for a while instead of walking back to my dorm in the snow."
"My response was just "nah, I got some homework I wanna do." The second the door to the building locked behind me, I realized what a moron I was. The walk back home was very cold, indeed."
Thanks mom...
“I really hated being a nerd in middle school so I dressed horribly slutty gothic in high school years freshman and sophomore. God it was awful. I remember being a senior in high school and looking through those photos and asking my mom ‘why didn't you tell me how horrible I was dressing?!’ Her reply ‘I knew you'd figure out you look like sh*t eventually.’”
Pirates Of The Caribbean GIF by memecandyGiphy“This brought up an embarrassing memory I completely forgot about until I read this. I had a whole I'm a witch phase, once I found an old bottle with green glass. I decided to grind up magical powder and curse people who pissed me off by gently sprinkling some on them without their knowledge, kept 'magic' powder in glass bottle."
“Older sister's friend comes over they won't let me hang out with them. Time for the bottle b*tch, no way of sneaking into the room without being noticed, try to run by the room and throw powder end up peppering my sister's friend in the face, gets in her eyes. My sister was like what in gods name are you doing! Friend is super pissed."
“I ground up sidewalk chalk with a cheese grater and put it in an old coke bottle y'all. OMG I'm crying, It wasn't even fully grated pieces of it got in her eyes. I was like 'Behold the magic of my crayola chunky chalk dust!' Oh I can't breathe!!!"
Best Excuses For Late Assignments That Were Actually True | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
“Nothing could be weirder than the beautiful stripper preacher...”
“When I was 15 I skipped school to hang out in a seedy music store where I was offered my first paid gig to play in an Irish band in a bar a few miles down the road that night. I could only sorta-kinda play the banjo at this point. No... That is not quite true. I was terrible. I also knew nothing about Irish music."
“Oh. One more thing. I am almost deaf. The man who hired me had such a thick brogue that I could hardly understand him. That night, I climbed out of my window and, banjo in hand, headed out into Philadelphia. It started to rain, so I decided to hitchhike. This was easy to do in 1985."
“Just stand on the side of the road playing the banjo and somebody will pick you up. I had a roll of nickles in my right jacket pocket, a Buck knife on my belt and a collapsible steel baton in my left jacket pocket. I was not worried. I was loaded for bear and ready for anything."
“A little sports car stopped in the middle of the road. Blocking traffic. A man in acid-washed jeans and a neon pink tank top jumped out from the driver's seat. He was highly muscled. I mean, he was so highly muscled that the streetlights and headlights created patterns of shadow and light that were only accentuated by his rippling physique. I'm not even gay and I noticed this. He was that beautiful."
'“Get in! Get in!' the beautiful man yelled. It was raining and I needed a ride. I got in. As soon as I close the door he takes off. He gives me a sideways glance and asked me if the banjo in my hands was a banjo.
"The last time I was asked this question by somebody picking me up on the road, it was followed with a creepy laugh and, 'Have you ever seen that movie, Deliverance?' I jumped out, banjo and all. Just opened the car door and threw myself out as the driver screamed, 'I was joking!'"
"So, when the beautiful man asked me about my instrument I was a bit cautious when I replied the affirmative. 'YES! THANK YOU JESUS! PRAISE GOD!' His shout was followed by a rapid succession of jabs to the steering wheel. I was wrestling with my seatbelt and reaching for the roll of nickels. I was about to break this guy's jaw and bounce."
"The he calmed down and told me his story: He had been a male stripper. Then he got saved and found Jesus. I asked him where Jesus was hiding. He just gave me a confused look before continuing. After getting saved he stopped taking his clothes off for women and was now going so some Bible school to become a Pentecostal preacher."
"When he left home for school, his dad gave him a banjo. This very night, he had been driving around with his daddy's banjo on the back seat, praying out loud for his Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, to send him a banjo teacher - and then I just appeared out of the rain."
"I looked in the back seat. There was a banjo. His story was too crazy to be anything but true. I let him buy me dinner and I gave him his first banjo lesson before he dropped me off at the bar. When we got to the bar, when he realized I really was 15, when he realized I was not joking about sneaking out of my house, the stripper turned preacher started to cry a little."
"I had to let him pray over me a bit to shake him. I walked into the bar telling myself that the evening would go smoothly from this point on. Nothing could be weirder than the beautiful stripper preacher. I was an hour early. The band had not arrived yet. Everybody in the bar stared at me..."
It—somehow—did indeed get weirder...
“I talked the bartender into letting me have a Coke while I waited for the band. Rough hands turned me around on the barstool. I was rushed by three large men. They never touched me, but instead wedged themselves to my left and right. With my back against the bar, I was helpless while the leader of the pack addressed me. 'So, we have a musician here tonight. Will you play for us?'"
“That's all they want? No problem. They let me loose, so I could break out my banjo and play a few tunes for the patrons. Everybody remained stone-faced. The three big guys grab me again. I am pinned on the barstool again. This time with my banjo on my lap."
"'That'sanicebanjo lad doyouthink I couldplayitwith me d!ck?' I stared at the leader. He was big, and filthy. He was wearing a loose T-shirt and red shorts. I asked him to repeat himself. 'I said, that's a nice banjo. Do you think I could play it with me d!ck?' My hearing, the Irish brogue, it had to be a joke. I puffed out my chest. 'I'd like to see you try!'"
“Too quickly for me to react, like a drunk Irish ninja, the red shorts were around his ankles. He took hold of his manhood and started flopping himself against the steel strings of my banjo.
“The bartender, whose name was Pat, shook his white Irish mane and, in a thick brogue proclaimed, 'He's at it again!' In the many years since I find myself wondering about Pat's proclamation."
"Jesus wept."
"More happened. A lot more - but I think I should end my tale with this: I noticed something about the bar. There were pictures of the queen and Margret Thatcher hanging upside-down over the bar. As the weeks went by, I couldn't help that a lot of the band's songs were about hating the British. This did not bother me much because I was getting paid, and I was hanging out in bars."
"It was too much fun to think about it. A few of the places we played were basement rooms, houses and closed bars. Finally, dad followed me one night. I'm up on stage with the band, the women in the crowd were dancing, the men were drinking and all the way in the back was my dad and Pat the bartender."
"I could tell from the hand gestures and laughter that Pat was telling my father about the great Banjo and Penis Showdown. The band spotted my dad. On one hand, they were worried I was not going to be allowed to play with them anymore. On the other hand, it was funny as hell to watch me squirm."
"During a break, I walked slowly to dad's table. He wasn't even mad. He told me that everybody in the place had good things to say about me, that the band sounded good, and we were probably raising money for the IRA. Well, that explained a lot."
"Dad gave me one of those 1-800 calling cards. He told me to carry it, so I could call him if/when I got into trouble. Then he left. He let me keep on playing. That morning when I got home, things were different with me and my parents. My dad started joining me on my adventures, and eventually the two of us wound of performing together. I'm in my 50s now. Dad and I still jam together."
Epic fail.
world's funniest fails GIF by Fox TVGiphy“In high school we used to think it was cool to climb up to the roof and hang out there late at night for no reason. One time around midnight a group of us were up there on my buddy's roof and he decided to climb down without waiting for anyone to hold the ladder. He proceeds to slip, takes the ladder down with him, and face plants into the driveway."
“There was no other good way down, so while he's laying down there moaning in a pool of blood, we had to climb up above his parents' bedroom and start stomping and yelling for help (this was in the 90s before everyone had cell phones). Finally after a few minutes his dad comes running out in his underwear, sees his son, and goes apesh!t screaming at us."
“Eventually he props the ladder back up so we can get down, yelling the whole time, while the mom takes my friend to the ER. He ended up with a few chipped teeth and had to wear braces again for about 6 months but otherwise wasn't too banged up. The dad actually apologized for yelling the next time we saw him. We were just like, no reason to apologize considering we almost killed your son."
No good seems to come from trying to impress girls.
“Tried to 'impress' a few girls and have them think I was a daredevil. A buddy and I took these girls to a movie theater about 30 miles away. It ended around midnight, we were tired and just wanted to get home. Hit 120mph in my bad a** Oldsmobile, then slowed it down to 30mph."
“You know that feeling when you go really fast, then back to 'normal speeds'. You feel like you are now going very, very slow. I told my buddy, 'Hey, I bet I can run this fast...If I just jumped out, I'd be fine right?' He had the reassuring response of, 'Umm, sure?' Without thinking I opened the door and jumped out..."
“My feet hit the ground, my shoes went flying in the air. I smacked my head against the pavement and did two back rolls, gaining road burn in the process. I look up seeing my car drive slowly into a ditch...yup, I was driving before I jumped. As I laid there pulling my shirt away from my bleeding back I thought, 'Man, I am a stupid teenager.'"
Oh noooo...
“Reminds me of a friend in high school. We were in the classroom at the top of the stairs, the doors out of the building were at the bottom. It is the final class period of the day. The bell to leave rings...and he bolts from the room, turns and just flies down the stairs (I mean I could almost believe it if someone said that he just power dived off the top one and aimed for the bottom).”
“Yet, he manages to perfectly grab the push bars on both of the double doors leading out of the building, and flings them open in front of him with the added mass of the opening doors (still firmly in his grasp) adding to his forward momentum like a giant slingshot. He forgot that there was a post between the doors.”
These were some hilarious moments. The next generation will laug at their own soon as well.
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Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.