Let's not lie to ourselves. We've all said something stupid.
It's okay to say something downright silly. It showcases the real person on the inside. Our flawed, imperfect, speech patterns line up to make sense. Maybe we're nervous in a situation, or we're just hitting 'Quick Reply' in our brains and what comes out is a cooky combinations of words that don't necessarily work, but whatever the reason, you for sure are going to remember it, late at night, for the rest of your life. Congratulations.
Reddit user, u/marginalpotato, wanted to know when the foot should have been in the mouth when they asked:
What is the stupidest thing that ever came out of your mouth?
You may not have to change your home address because of these moments, but you should probably reconsider how many public outings you go to afterwards.
Should Probably Never Shop At That Store Again
"When the cashier said "Have a nice day", and I replied with "No, thanks".
"Background: I wasnt thinking straight that day, and thought they said "Do you want a bag"
That's. How. Twins. Work?
"Her: the twins are 3 years old"
"Me: Both of them?"
"Oh no this unearthed a memory i had buried from kindergarten lmao"
"We had a set of twins in our classroom and once on their birthday party I said "your brother got such a cool party, i hope yours is nice like this too" to one of them and he was like "yeah, this one"
"4 year old me was not a very bright kid"
That's. How. Death. Works...
"Watching the documentary 'The Last Dance' when a Kobe interview pops up -"
"Me: "Wow, they must have filmed this before Kobe died."
"My wife: "Yeah, obviously…."
And You As Well?
"My friend said goodbye to me at my last birthday party:
Her: "Goodbye! Happy birthday!!"
Me: "Goodbye! You too!"
And no later did I utter those words did I realize, it was in fact, NOT their birthday, too."
Things That Are Normal Where You Live But Crazy Anywhere Else | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
The cringe comes out of nowhere, and you're not even sure how you were able to ask something so incredibly stupid, but here you are.
Lounging in the stupid air.
You Should Have Asked What "Nothing" Tastes Like Next
"In my head I was wondering what one pound of water would look like in terms of volume. What I said out loud however was "How much does a pound of water weigh?"
Keep Up With Me
"A couple of months ago, I got up and drove to work as usual. Later, my girlfriend texted me from home to ask me if she had left her sunglasses in my car. I told her I wasn't sure, but she could grab my spare key and go check."
"In my car."
"Which I had driven to work."
A Quick Way To Kill The Mood
"Ugh....even just thinking about this one, I feel like someone should slap me."
"My ex-girl friend and I had just finished an intimate moment. She was flattering my ego telling me it was one her best experiences with a partner. She then asked me how it was for me. I proceeded to say the dumbest thing possible."
"Oh, you are definitely in the top 10."
"So, I'm single now, in case there was any doubt."
Black Is White, White Is Black
"I don't understand why people place bets on who wins, why not just place bets on who loses?"
"Yeah took me a minute to register what I said..."
Well, You Knew Why You Were There...
"I came back from my grandmothers funeral and walked into the room, literally into the wake, and without thinking I looked around and saw all my cousins and said, "What is wrong with everyone it looks like someone died in here."
And then there's these stories, where the person is probably better off severing any human contact henceforth going forward, changing their identity, moving to the mountains, and living off a steady diet of nuts, tree bark, and shame.
Should Probably Have A Chat With HR After This
"I was about 4 months into my current job, feeling confident being fresh off the contract-to-hire period, now moved into a coveted full time role. While walking back to my office from the morning kanban I was stopped by my boss, head peeking out of the office:"
"Boss: "Hey TheMediator, do you have a sec?"
"Me: "For you, I've got lots of secs!"
"Boss: wide-eyes, mouth dropped"
"If you're curious why this was incredibly stupid/embarrassing, try saying the phrase "lots of secs" out loud. Preferably, not to your boss though."
...Why?
"The year was 1995, sitting behind Halle Berry at a Braves game….. Leaned up and told her, if she had married Alejandro Peña, (a pitcher on the team) she would be Halle Peña."
You Don't Need College Anymore. Go Home. Bury Your Head In The Sand.
"In my freshman year of college I was dorming next door to a couple cute girls. About a week into the first semester one girl walked from the coed showers to her dorm room in her towel still wet. We were both unlocking our doors to get in our rooms when she looks at me and says…"
"I know I look stunning…(sarcastically)"
"To which I replied, "don't flatter yourself."
"I had to slid a note under her door explaining I was tongue tied as she was beautiful and I meant to say "don't be hard on yourself, you look great." (Or something to that nature). We became good friends."
It's In The Descriptor?
"Chatting to a homeless guy on the street and he told me he was feeling unwell. I told him he should be at home, resting."
"It's been 20 years and the memory of it still brings me out in a cold sweat."
Oh Good Lord...
"Asked my friend how his mom was doing at his moms funeral."
"Jesus Christ this is the worst one on this thread. What was his response?"
"He looked at me and then the casket and kind of smirked. I awkwardly started to try and explain and just said "I'm an idiot. You know I love you. Talk to you in a bit." He makes fun of me now and I can't stop laughing. It's a positive painful memory."
Own up to your mistakes. You'll garner more respect by acknowledging the awkward things you say. However, it's perfectly fine to laugh about it in the moment. That's probably the easiest way to escape the deep, deep shame you've brought on yourself and your family.
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It can be shocking, almost repulsive, to look through history books and read the things which were actually laws at one point in time.
These include bizarre ones, like a national speed limit of 55 miles per hour due to an oil shortage, as well as historically inhumane laws, such as segregation and slavery.
Thankfully, many of these horrifying and/or bizarre laws have been repealed.
But if one were to look closely at laws around the world, there are still a number of ludicrous and terrifying laws which remain in effect.
That many people might even, rather ironically, think should be illegal.
"If you could remove a law, which one would get the boot?"
They're Always Watching
"Digital security act (2018)."
"It's a law by the government of Bangladesh, which can let anyone file a case against you, if you speak against the government online."
"There are multiple cases where someone criticized the government, and they have been put in prison because of this law."
"It basically hurts the freedom of speech of Bangladeshi citizens."
"Even though there have been voices raised to demolish this law, the autocratic government doesn't care at all."- ArianThehunter
The US Government, In A Nutshell...
"The ones that allowed politicians to accept funds from corporations."- No_Commercial5671
Lobbying For The People GIF by Creative CourageGiphyDrugs Is Too Broad A Term
"Psilocybin, LSD, and marijuana being considered Schedule 1 drugs (at least in the US)."
"Wild to me that drugs like Xanax, Oxy, some other strong prescription drugs, cocaine, and f*cking meth are all considered 'less dangerous' than drugs that have a much lower death toll and have been shown to be more beneficial in various different treatments and trials."- localstreetcat
Some Of The Most Annoying Laws Aren't Even Enforced...
"Murphys law."- Zert420
No One, NO ONE, Should Be Above The Law
"Any law about immunity for politicians."- iOliverSup
Richard Nixon Corruption GIF by GIPHY NewsGiphyAren't Politicians Supposed To Be Working For Us?
"The one that allows politicians to raise their own salary as long as at least 51% of them vote in favor."
"A few years ago they increased minimum wage by 3.5% then proceeded to increase their own salary by 40% and add 2 new benefits."- vksdann
So, Pretty Much All Laws Benefitting Politicians
"The one that protects individual politicians against the effects of what they did in office."- Silent-Revolution105
Which Citizens, And How Exactly Are They "United"?
"Citizens United."- Lilysils
Amy Klobuchar GIFGiphyMore Like Profiling Act
"Patriot Act."
"And whatever laws that allow for government surveillance besides Patriot Act."
"My dank memes on Reddit and search history is none of the business of the FBI who think using the word 'based' is grounds for a terrorist investigation."- Realtor_3605
"All the anti-terrorist laws that took our privacy's without anyone giving sh*t."- Brilliant_Salad_1345
Not Exactly "Small Government" If You Think About It?
"Where the government can take your stuff."- rtxpurelife2
Robin Hood Disney GIFGiphyBring On The Public Domain
"Every copyright extension from the original (around 20 years)."- reyseven
Um... Do You Really Need Either?
"I would say the meaningless illegality of stuff like nunchucks, balisongs, etc.:
:Why can I buy a military knife made for killing people but I can't buy a knife which uses springs to open?"- racistinfrastrukture·
Clearly Not From A "Stand Your Ground" State...
"The one where you're not allowed to defend yourself if someone breaks into your home with the intent of stealing from you (in my country)."- lycos94
It doesn't take very long at all for certain laws to become outdated.
Making it all the more infuriating that these laws remain in effect.
Particularly when they likely shouldn't even have been made laws in the first place.
Barring identical twins, no two bodies are the same.
Indeed, some people are born with rare or unusual elements to their bodies which very few, if any, other people also share.
While some people will go to great lengths to cover these up, or make them less conspicuous, others wear their unique elements with pride.
There are also people whose bodily oddity isn't visible, but instead have a unique genetic makeup, substantially affecting their daily routine for better or worse.
"What's unusual about your body?"
Shimmering Silver Hair
"My hair started losing its color when I was 10 years old."
"I used to be brunette."
"My hair has been completely silver and white since my 20s."- ConcernedApath3
gone with the wind waiting GIF by CRPTC CHILDGiphyMechanical Heart
"My heart is bionic at this point."
"I’ve had 4 open heart surgeries, aorta and mitral valves are now titanium."
"It makes a ticking noise like a clock."
"I’m only 30."
"Hopefully I live longer."- Tired-humanoid
Misplaced Anatomy
"When I was born, none of my organs were in the places they should be."
"Had 5 surgeries after birth to get everything moved around, and put to right places."
"Luckily, no issues since."- iMissTheOldKimye
"My internal organs are all flipped 180 degrees."
"So everything's backwards."
"Situs inversus totalis."
"Sorry I should've clarified better."
"Not flipped in place but completely mirrored."
"So organs are on opposite sides as well."- tr1ppymayyyyne
Saves You Trouble On Lint...
"Two of my toes on each foot are webbed halfway."
"The index(?) and middle toe, each side."
"Nothing else."
"I can’t swim any faster which I personally think is bullsh*t."- dirtyethanol73·
Sometimes One Is Enough
"I was born with 1 Kidney."
"But my 1 Kidney is the size of 2 combined."
"So I have 1 super kidney."- Jay12678
Switch and Swap
"I have a rare condition in which my large intestine is smashed over to one side of my torso and my small intestines are smashed over to the other side."
"The only reason we discovered it is that one day, they decided to physically switch places causing extreme pain."
"They have switched places a total of four times in my life."
"It's really painful and kinda gross hearing your goopy bits flop around inside of you."- jtolb65
Animation Eating GIF by FOUGiphyBetter Than A Growling Tummy...
"I sneeze when really hungry."- Scrum_Bucket
How Long Have You Got?
"Well, I am an achondroplastic dwarf, so lets see…"
"I’m 4’0” tall at 29 years old (male), I have disproportionately short limbs compared to my torso."
"I can barely put my hands in my trouser pockets because they are so short."
"I also need to get all my trousers cropped."
"3/4 length trousers can also work as full length for me."
"I have what is called 'trident hand configuration'."
"Basically my hands naturally split into the vulcan hand sign (like three prongs)."
"It’s a common way to identify achondroplasia in the womb and how I was diagnosed."
"I did have bowed legs."
"I needed to have my legs broken and straightened when I was a kid."
"That was fun."
"Can’t fully straighten my arms."
"Even when fully extended, they are slightly bent."
"Also can’t raise them much beyond my shoulder."
"Super handy when you’re 4 f*cking feet tall and everything is out of reach."
"Absolutely stellar."
"I have mono-lids despite being a white af Scottish guy in a family with no mono-lids."
"That and frontal bossing and a depressed nasal bridge is the package 'dwarf face' deal when it comes to achondroplasia."
"Guarantees that you’ll always get random strangers approaching you going 'aren’t you that guy from time bandits?'"
" Despite the fact that you were born in 1994."
"There’s more stuff but I could be here all day."
"Just to be clear - these are all symptoms of my dwarfism."
"It’s not like I’ve been super unlucky and got a bunch of unrelated conditions."
"Just one mutation can cause all this."
"The body is great isn’t it?"- Usidore_
They Have An Understandable Attachment
"When I was born my umbilical cord was inside out and it was the first time the hospital I was born at had ever seen anything like it."
"So they asked my mum if it could be sent to a nearby university to be shown to students in order to show them what the inside of one looks like in real life."
"I am going to that exact university next year and will be on a quest to take back my umbilical cord."
"Provided it's not been thrown away, idk how long they last." - Reddit
homer simpson panic GIFGiphyExplains Why They're Always Buying New Towels
"My sweat is extra acidic."
"I can fully rust guitar strings in a week or 2, and have eaten holes on 2 laptops where I rest my hands, both happened within a year of use."- MoofieFoofer·
Chronic Moisture
"I sweat too much."
"If my shower is too warm, I start sweating and once I towel off I'm just wet from sweating for hours."
"My wife complains about my cold shower water but it's how I don't completely render the shower pointless."- CubicalWombatPoops
One Hole Too Many
"Small hole at the base of my spine just before my a** hole."
"To clarify I’m not talking about the actual a**hole itself, I’m talking about a small hole an inch above it."
"It’s not a cyst I was born with it."- Happy-Watercress3232
GiphyWe can't choose the body we're given.
It is a shame that some of these unique traits result in people having added visits to the doctor, or an increased need for medicine.
But whether they're proud or ashamed of their bodily abnormality, they at least know they will always have a conversation starter which will instantly grab everyone's attention.
CW: Suicide.
When it comes to cell phone wallpaper, it can be a very personal choice.
Sometimes, your wallpaper is silly, like a funny picture of your and your friends. Other times, it's simple, like a monochromatic background.
Sometimes, it's the way you show your love for a particular fandom. As a huge Potterhead, it's no surprise that my wallpaper is a still image of the floating candles in the Great Hall from the first Harry Potter movie.
Sometimes, your phone's wallpaper is unique, and there's a story behind it. Those stories are what Redditors shared.
It all started when Redditor SPriGJade asked:
"What's the story behind your phone's wallpaper?"
The Name’s Logan
"Wolverine. Otherwise, a topless man as wallpaper is trashy."
– Deleted User
It Was Like That When I Got It
"They made the phone with a wallpaper. I bought the phone with a wallpaper. End of story."
"My phone is not personalized at all. Aside from 2 or 3 apps this thing is stock. No music, no ring tones, no wall paper etc."
– pay-this-fool
"You’re a NPC aren’t you?"
– Milfshake23
"Hello, Mr. Thompson"
"It’s the scene where Homer becomes Mr. Thompson. The moment where he says “I think he’s talking to you”"
– downwitbrown
The Same Name
"Mine was a fan art I saw on Instagram of Blossom and Brik. I happened to have a crush on someone who has the same name as him so I put it as my wallpaper. I cannot put his actual pic there cause I have nosey friends who will dice me if they knew."
– SPriGJade
Camp Wheezeaway
"It's a picture I took at sunset at asthma camp while I was in respiratory school. We hiked out to a dam to watch the sun set and everyone was silhouettes. I think it's beautiful."
– Faye_dunwoody
"Camp counselor: “Cmon little Timmy you gotta finish the mile run in order to pass!”"
"Little Timmy:”W H E E Z E”"
– Siriuswot111
Exposure Therapy
"Either I just wanted to get over my arachnophobia or just to discourage myself from looking at my screen too much. I don't remember lol."
– WingieWingies
Real Wallpaper
"I was renovating my home and i really liked the wall paper id bought and i still had some paste left over... Its a bit of a job to see my screen though /s"
– arianleellewellyn
If Found, Please Return To...
"it is black with green text with my contact info in case my phone gets lost... simple and practical"
– 1101base2
"I hope you made sure to put your phone number on that contact info so they can call you if you lose it..."
– johnnyboy10010
Nerd Culture
"I just like Pokémon"
– yuri_nomoru122
"I just like Star Wars
– Thrashed0066
And We Fell In Love
"Me & my wife's wallpaper (for the last 5 years) is an illustration I altered of two otters holding hands, but made to look very devil-like, with horns, pointed tails, and colored red. The story is, when my wife and I were dating early on, we liked that otters hold hands when they sleep, and we would joke, saying "Thank you Satan" for being responsible for our meeting on a dating app. So... it was a combo of both of those things."
– 1313trouble
Skin And...Oh, Wait, Just Bones
"My little girl had to get an X-ray of her hand/wrist… apparently you can tell if kids are aging/growing right by their wrist??? I took a pic of her skeleton hand… haven’t changed it since!"
– mic1383
Bird's Eye View
"NASA spent $250 million so I could have a tiny blue dot as my wallpaper."
– JustDunIt42
Finish The Task
"I was trying to find a new wallpaper, said screw it, and took a picture of the table."
– juse73x
Embodiment Of My Mood
"Played a game where the character is plagued by the embodiment of death during their quest, and as they finally finish their quest the Death catches them."
"My background is the main character facing the embodiment of death, still fighting. I put it up years ago when I first started feeling suicidal. I knew that it might kill me in the end, but I wanted to fight it as long as I could. I've been having a good couple of years lately, and I feel that I have won. But I still have it as my background."
– OkBottle8719
Crazy Idea
"My wallpaper is Eminem’s a**. i don’t know how to explain that. I just thought it would be silly."
– lethalload
Interesting...
"I asked an AI to show me the end of the world by the sea and it created this terrifyingly beautiful picture ."
– LovelyBones17
I might have to try something similar next time I want to change my wallpaper!
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988.
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/Rules. Rules. Rules.
I get that we have to have rules and order.
Without all rules, we have anarchy and chaos.
But it feels like some schools just go overboard.
I mean, a principal is the head administrator, not a warden.
Especially when there are so many do's and donts that make absolutely so sense.
Redditor DekuSkrub18 wanted to hear about all of the rules that left people dumbfounded when we were students, so they asked:
"What were the dumbest rules put in place at your school?"
I can't recall a ton of silly rules at my school.
That was back in the 1800s though. Things have changed.
Stand Up
No Way Wtf GIF by HarlemGiphy"Students weren't allowed to sit on the floor in the hallways because it promoted sex."
Arius_de_Galdri
Oh!
"Something would happen: like a dropped tray or a book loudly hitting a table, and the whole cafeteria would yell Oh! The administrators hated it and would try and get us to stop. One week it happened a couple of times in a day."
"The assistant principal stood on a chair and loudly declared that if it happened again, they were going to turn off the vending machines. Of course, everyone yelled Oh! immediately. He angrily walked over and ripped the cords for the vending machines out of the wall… only to be met with a chorus of more Ohs!. It was hilarious but also incredibly stupid."
andronicus_14
Rewards
"At my primary school at the end of the year, there was a beach day for all students who had no detentions. Fine, I guess a reward for good behavior."
"But when you also have a policy of putting anyone who fights in detention regardless of who started the fight it becomes a bit unfair. You get picked on by a bully and you both get detention."
Mythical_Atlacatl
Funneled
"One-way system. You had to go around the entire school to go to your class that was directly next to your previous class. Also, the one-way system funneled all the students into one corridor, when if they could just go the fastest route they could avoid getting in each other's way. They used to say that the school was built in the 70s for much fewer students so the hallways were too small to let students walk where they want."
"So their solution was to funnel all the students down a single hallway. It didn't make sense to me."
Affiliations
"Our school tried banning 'gang affiliated' clothing. I can tell you right now the closest thing we got to 'gangs' in my school was one kid who listened to too much 50 Cent and Eminem, and another who actually grew up in Detroit but was about as clean-cut as they come."
"But oh no, my camo-patterned fall jacket? That I got at OLD NAVY? I must be in a gang. That lasted all of a month until about 1/3 of the school had been sent home for 'dress code' violations multiple times. It was utterly arbitrary and nobody cared except for a handful of the administration."
subtxtcan
Cheers
Cinco De Mayo Drinking GIF by WDRGiphy"The song 'Tequila' was banned because parents said it promoted underage drinking."
LordBaranof
But it's such a great song!
Hairy Situations
Long Hair GIF by Hollie KitchensGiphy"In our school, girls weren't allowed to wear their hair down. If any girl forgot to tie her hair, she was reprimanded. This really irritated the teachers."
Goddess_Gwendolyn
That's Exiled!
"It was always dumb when they would outlaw whatever the new cool harmless fad was. I remember when they outlawed snap bracelets, wacky cards and garbage pail kids, magic cards, etc. I think tomagatchies too."
wpascarelli
"We had both Pokémon cards and marbles outlawed because of people doing unfair trades. It was a bit of a thrill playing a secret game of marbles at the far end of the oval on lunch break once they were banned."
Special_Objective245
"It would disrupt the class. I was in school when Tamagotchis, yo-yos, Pokemon cards, and Yugioh cards were all a thing. I remember how it could be distracting or how kids would get into fights over them."
ibn1989
Skip Away
"If you are X minutes late, you must do the detention during your lunch break for the same amount of time."
"For example, if you came 5 mins late, you have to spend 5 mins doing detention during your lunch break."
"There was no detention if we don't show up to class. Basically, if you're late to class it's better to skip the class."
Goatmanthealien
Terrible
"No jeans."
skarlettohara
"My secondary school (U.K.) had a no jeans policy, our uniform was back trousers white shirt. I wore black jeans to school for the last 4 years. Would get pulled up about it from time to time. I’d just say 'Ah yep, won’t happen again' then continue wearing black jeans. Our school was utterly terrible."
minigmgoit
Water Sounds
noise GIFGiphy"We couldn't have metal water bottles because they might make loud noises if they fell."
Automatic_You4321
Color Lines
"That you couldn't dye your hair at all, even if you chose a natural color. They were so rigid that we kept our hair the color we started school off with that when one particular girl came back after the Summer holidays with brunette hair and revealed that the brunette hair was in fact her natural color, they made her bleach her hair back to blonde!"
Creative_Recover
Who thought any of these idea were valid?
Focus on more education please.