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People Describe The Stupidest Self-Inflicted Injury They've Ever Gotten

People Describe The Stupidest Self-Inflicted Injury They've Ever Gotten

How many times have you stubbed your toe because you weren't paying attention and banged it against some furniture? Hurts like hell, doesn't it? Have you ever slipped outside because you didn't realize the rain––or ice––on the roads would be so slick? You probably have (and hopefully you didn't bang yourself up too much). You probably hope no one was looking... to save yourself from certain embarrassment.

Believe it or not, there are people out there who've fared worse.

People were all too willing to share their experiences after Redditor 7937397 asked the online community,

"What is the stupidest injury you've ever gotten?"

"Then got laid off."

"Leaned forward to look at my face closely in the bathroom mirror. Vertebrae in my lower back slipped out of position. Nine weeks on disability. Then got laid off."

EmotionalAnesthesia

It's true what they say... when it rains, it really pours.

"I once injured my leg..."

"I once injured my leg by jumping off the back of a moving truck, so that I wouldn't be in trouble for riding on the back of a moving truck."

QuillWellington

"I once broke my thumb..."

"I once broke my thumb trying to give someone a hug.

Awkwardly caught it on their body and the ligament of my stretched thumb popped off and took some bone with it!"

Robletron

How did you do that?!

I mean... I know you explained it and all, but... how did you do that?!

"I wasn't watching..."

"I've hurt myself in many weird ways, so this was tough to figure out. A while ago I was riding my bike and saw a rabbit. I wasn't watching where I was going and rode off a retaining wall. I got a concussion from that."

Boonaroomoo

"When it reopened..."

"When I was 5, I was stepped on by a llama. My mom said I had a llama foot-shaped bruise on my back for a couple of weeks.

They closed the petting zoo after that. When it reopened, they no longer allowed people inside the animal pens."

glindabunny

Ah, I see now.

So you're the one who ruined it for everyone else. Gotcha.

(Great story, though.)

"When I was six..."

"When I was six my forehead was really itchy but it was one of those deep itches that you couldn't really scratch out. So my bright 6-year-old brain told me to get into an all-fours position and try rubbing my forehead into the carpet… well I did that and ended up taking a small layer of skin off that took ages to heal completely."

BootyBanditz

Imagine walking in on your kid and seeing this.

You'd think they were possessed.

"I punched myself..."

"I punched myself in the forehead during an improv comedy bit and gave myself a concussion."

jakerhamster

This begs the question...

So are you really strong?

Or just really weak?

"Severed three tendons..."

"Severed three tendons in my left hand while slicing a bagel. Basic tendon repair went over well, but my middle finger got infected. They had to put a tendon from my leg into my hand. Three surgeries over a bagel."

SafariJim

This one wins.

Sorry, everyone. You can all go home now.

"I decided..."

"I decided it would be quicker to walk down an incline of tennis-ball-sized rocks in flip flops with my hands full than walk around on the pavement. I was right - I descended quickly!"

auntiepink

"I had lost..."

"I had lost about 30 pounds, and my belt was getting too big. Most people would say "oh, time to buy a new belt!" The craftier of us might say "time to get out my leather punch!" I say "time to dig a hole in the belt with my folding pocket knife!"

It folded in on itself while I was digging a new hole in the leather and cut my thumb to the bone, and had to go to urgent care to get it stitched up.

My wife bought me a leather punching tool for Christmas that year."

JoeOutrage

We hope you're all thinking twice of playing with knives... or jumping off trucks... or even going outside.

Just stay indoors, preferably in bed. You should be safe. God-willing.

Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us all about them in the comments below!

Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.

Indigenous Americans Share Their Tribe's Best Ghost Stories And Legends

Reddit user A_KULT_KILLAH asked: 'Native Americans of Reddit, what are your or your tribes ghost stories, legends, or supernatural occurrences?'

Sasquatch
Jon Sailer on Unsplash

People the world over develop their own specific folklore, heavily influenced by the natural world around them and their own culture.

The North American continent was no different.

Reddit user A_KULT_KILLAH wanted to know about the myths and legends of the Indigenous peoples of North America.

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Every now and again, when talking to a friend or family member, a rather shocking piece of information might casually slip out.

Information one imagines they wanted to keep secret for as long as they possibly could.

In some cases, it's something embarrassing, that everyone will be able to laugh about with the passage of time.

In other cases, however, it's information that stuns us silent.

Learning something we wish we hadn't.

Redditor DarthAbhinav11 was curious to hear the most disturbing information people have ever been casually told or overheard, leading them to ask:

"What is the most disturbing thing you've heard said casually?"

An Acquired Taste

"I work in a deli and some lady asked me to cut her ham extremely thin to the point of seeing through it."

"I heard her justify it as 'so you can get rid of the ham taste'."

"I still think about this one."- Alternative_Net8931

Utterly Horrid

"When I was walking to my front door."

"My neighbor had their window open and was scolding their 3 year old adopted child."

"She was howling crying."

"'Do you want mommy to send you back?'"- BoredBSEE

It Arrives Sooner Than You Think...

At Macy's, two teen girls: 'Women over 30 have the ugliest elbows'."

"'OMG. I know'."

"'Very disturbing'."

"'I always ask my mom to wear long sleeves when we go out to eat'."- CapitalPhilosophy513

Never Too Late

"I when younger I worked at a pool and had to lifeguard senior aerobics classes."

"Most participants where 65+."

“'Where’s so and so'.”

“'Oh he won’t be here, his wife was put into hospice'.”

“'Well I feel bad for him, but we do need some more single men around here'."

"'He’s not bad looking, has a retirement too'.”- CuriousOne9320

Round And Round It Goes...

"'If the Earth is spinning, then why my front door is always facing east?'"- SuvenPan

"Something I once heard a passing stranger say for which I have no context: 'He wears a scarf around his neck so you can't see where he's decaying'."

"I've been curious for years and it annoys me that I'll never know."- xyanon36

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

"An ex after I ended things 'I don’t understand, if I want to be in a relationship with you but you don’t want to be in a relationship with me why do you get to win?'"- TinyFurryHorseBeak

Not His Decision To Make

"Was at an end of season event for my kid's baseball team when he was little."

"The coaches brought Italian ice for everyone."

"Mom has just served her kids and husband and comes back with her own."

"As she's sitting down to eat, I hear her husband loud whisper behind her something like 'absolutely not'."

"'You don't need any more calories'."

"I just watched her face fall."

"I can't imagine what their marriage must look like behind closed doors and what life must be like for her."

"Heartbreaking."

"Note that this woman was already probably a size 2 at most so this was not a scenario where there were serious weight-related health problems."

"This guy was just a jerk and this really wasn't the first time that season, but his reminders that they aren't living up to his standards were usually aimed at his kids on the field."

"I try to assume the best of people but that guy sucked."- littleirishpixie

The Truth Hurts

"I was in an accident once and was hospitalized."

"The accident left me severely disfigured."

"I was out of my mind on pain meds when I arrived at the hospital and told my family to call my girlfriend and let her know what happened and where I was."

"My mom called my girlfriend and my sister not knowing the particulars of my life called my ex."

"Neither knew the other had called and both ended up showing up."

"They arrived within an hour of one another while I was asleep."

"Since someone was there with me it gave my family a chance to go home and take a break."

"So I woke up to my ex and my girlfriend talking to one another."

"Obviously my girlfriend was mad my ex was there and things got heated between the two."

"My ex being level headed suggested they step into the hall since I was half awake and in no condition to deal with the drama."

"As they're arguing in the hall voices are being raised until finally a nurse comes to reign the situation in."

"The nurse breaking them up made my girlfriend leave."

"As she was leaving she yelled 'you can have his a**'."

"'It's not like I wanna be with some burnt up scarred dude anyway'."

"'He's f*cked'."

"At this point I was still bed ridden and hadn't seen a mirror."

"I was aware my body was f*cked but had no idea what I actually looked like."

"Hearing that was such a gut punch and it really messed with my head at the time."- Burnvictim49percent

Where To Even Begin?

"I am a tutor."

"I heard some of my students say ;What's the point in learning history? We should live in the present'."

"We are German."- GentlemanPirate13

Most of the time, when a friend or family member warns us or apologizes for sharing "too much information" or "TMI", what we've heard isn't that shocking in the grand scheme of things.

Indeed, as evidenced by the sad and shocking stories above, when people really share TMI, they often have no idea they're doing so.


A hand adds a yellow post it to a wall of yellow post its
Photo by Kelly Sikkema

There are rules in life where people are expected to just know how to operate without being told.

For instance, if someone falls down... help them.

When you like a sweater in a store... get money to buy it.

Just leaving with it won't go over well.

And there are more rules, or guidelines to adhere to...

Redditor christygl7 wanted to hear about what is expected in people's homes without words, so they asked:

"What's an unwritten rule in your household?"

If you have to pee... lift the seat cover.

The people in Port Authority always miss that one.

Routine

Cleaning Chores GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy

"Either my wife or I can do any chore when noticed. We thank each other for routine chores as we appreciate each other."

cwsjr2323

"That’s how my fiancée and I handle chores. Whoever’s around when the core needs to be done does the chore, typically. I find she does more regular cleaning of the whole apartment while I do more dishes and cooking."

radtech91

Trashed

"Replacing the trash bag IS PART OF taking out the trash."

UndiagnosedReptard

"Similar to this, in my house, the rule is if the toilet paper ended on your turn (or there’s barely enough for the next person) then it is your job to procure the next roll and put it in the bathroom. It is NOT acceptable to let it run out for the next person."

wavesnfreckles

"We have extra stored in every bathroom. I make sure of it. However, if it runs low/out on the roll, my wife will 100% of the time take the new roll and set it on top of the empty tube on the spindle, refusing to replace it. I actually called her over and shamed her into changing it in front of me the other night (not in an abusive way - we were both laughing about it)."

on_the_nightshift

Finder's Keepers

"If you find money in the laundry while you are doing the laundry, it's yours."

Rich1926

"Yep. My boyfriend learned that lesson the hard way when we first started living together. He had a bad habit of just crumpling up bills in a big wad in his pocket, usually just ones, but sometimes he accidentally leaves a twenty in there. I tipped myself the twenty. It took him a couple of days of trying to figure out where it went before I took pity on him and told him."

"He now both turns out his pockets and washes his own clothes. I still find the occasional single dollar in the dryer."

Head_Razzmatazz7174

Dropped something?

"If food is dropped on the floor it becomes the property of the dog. The dog knew this rule before we did."

Altruistic-Bit-9766

"That was one of the hardest things after our family dog died. Dropped something? Who cares! Riley will get it. But then he didn’t."

"Also, I don’t live at home anymore but coming home to him barking and crying out of excitement and greeting me always made my day and I looked forward to it every time I opened the door and could hear him wiggling in excitement on the side hahaha. It’s a little less exciting coming home now."

ohno807

Obligations...

Water Stay GIF by Kinda FunnyGiphy

"If the water you take from the Brita pitcher leaves what’s left below a certain line, you are obligated to refill the pitcher on penalty of death."

halcyon3608

If you stay in my home and don't refill the Brita pitcher...

I'm setting your hair on fire at 3 AM!!!

Flushed

Go Away Pink GIF by HacklockGiphy

"Check the toilet after you flush."

NANNYNEGLEY

"This. My brother-in-law never does this. It's annoying and disgusting! You don't want to clean up after yourself because you think it's gross? How do you think it makes me feel to clean up after you?"

purplestarsinthesky

WAKE UP!

"Wake someone up if their alarm goes off. It's a pretty weird one but setting up alarms is a conscious and deliberate decision for all of us and you want to wake up when it goes off, so we just help each other out."

DonMartiniMacaroni

"I'll do this a few times, but my roommate needs to learn not to hit snooze because he's taught his body that alarms don't need to be woken up to. I don't wake him up anymore. He started waking up to them."

stumblinbear

"I’ll wake them up because it annoys me when people snooze especially if I’m next to them in the bed and I don’t have to get up."

chill90ies

No Exceptions!

"Shoes off at the door. No exceptions."

Next-Dark-4975"

"Shoes-on people must not be using the same public bathrooms that I do. 100% of them have a lake of dirty urine in front of the urinal. They must also be amazing at finding two urine-free spots that are shoe-sized on the shores of said lake. It’s fine if they want to bring that into their homes. It’s not allowed in mine, though."

Bmadray

Table Manners

"No tech at the table."

"Even with a teenage daughter this has proved eerily easy; we all love food though!!"

"Also murder is out of the question, it is non-negotiable. If any of us kills another then they are outlawed in the true sense."

"Other than this, we are pretty cool."

Dante2005

Woof

Well Done Applause GIF by MOODMANGiphy

"Let the dog out to go potty before you use the restroom. (Seriously, the dog is asking to go out and you think she can wait while you take a 30-minute poop first? Not cool.)"

InfiniteBackspace

Always let the dogs go first.

If you wait, you won't like the surprise they leave!

person using laptop computer to make a credit card purchase
rupixen.com on Unsplash

Sometimes we look at a product and think "who would buy that, and why?"

For me the "Flowbee" home haircutting tool comes to mind. If you're unfamiliar, it's a shaver you attached to your vacuum cleaner so you hair was pulled past cutting blades.

It was sold on late night infomercials in the 1990s.

Who wouldn't want to style their hair like this?

Flowbee infomercial GIFGiphy

As fabulous as that looks, results did vary with most veering toward "yikes!" yet by 2000 the company reported 2 million were sold.

And *surprise* you can still buy one—for about $150.

It seems no matter how bad a product is, someone will buy it.

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