Breaking up is hard to do....for some people.
Some people break up with others like it's their jobs. One date, then onto the next; one relationship, then onto the next. People's hearts are broken and crumpled like little bits of paper strewn across the ground.
The worst part? There is no real reason for this, but they will try to give you one anyway.
Here were some of those answers.
My Kingdom For A Cat
My ex's cat was named "Ben". The girl I was dating's cat was named "Bundles".
One day, I called "Bundles", "Ben". She asked me what I just called her cat. I thought about it, and then remembered that was my ex's cat's name. I laughed and told her and she was super unimpressed. Broke up with me the next day.
What A Lot Of Grief For No Reason
I bought my GF one of the World of Warcraft expansion packs for her birthday. She started playing again -- like she really got into it -- and I hardly saw her. She'd play all night and would come to bed as I was getting up. To be clear, that made me want to dump her. But, what ended up happening was she started playing with her ex and it apparently rekindled their feelings for each other, because she dumped me after a couple of weeks of this and got back with him. But, by that time he had moved away, so their relationship was entirely limited to play-questing. And, then they broke up again after like a month of this. At the time it was horrible, but now I can't help but laugh.
Creating Problems Where There Are None
"I love you so much and want to spend the rest of my life with you. We have to break up, if it's really meant to be then we will end up together again like they do in the movies."
Activia Makes You Regular
Shared this before here, but this has and will always take the cake for me.
College GF's Dad won 1 million dollars in the state lottery over winter break. Broke up with me over the phone, telling me "now that I'm rich, I can't afford to date regular people like you. That's really the only thing wrong, you're just regular."
The guy I was dating broke up with me cause he had family problems, I was all like, "i'm so sorry. I'm here if you need me." Two days later I find out he lied and asked out one of my best friends and she said yes. About a week later I asked him why he dumped me and he left me on read.
"I don't feel a spark of anything when we kiss anymore"
At that time I got hit in the mouth with a bat and couldn't kiss her for the past month. If you didn't want to be with me just say it or at least come up with a better lie to dump me over
Edit for backstory :
Freshman (me) and senior (her) broke up over the weekend and the following Monday I took my an aluminum bat (it was an old bat) to the backyard to take some frustration out on some tree branches in fire wood pile. The thickest one bounced the bat back at me and it hit me with lightning speed. Broke four teeth and stayed home from school the next day, senior gf noticed I wasn't in class and asked our mutual friend what happened to me and she explained to my freshly ex gf.
That day she text me after school that she wanted to get back together. We stayed together for a few weeks while I was healing and she thought my lisp was cute and out of nowhere one day she said the infamous words "we need to talk" and said she didn't feel anything when we kiss anymore. In my head I was thinking "we ain't kissed since my mouth got broke" but I took it like a man and went along with it. The next week she started dating a girl that had a big crush on her.
A Decade Of A Misunderstanding
I was dating a guy whose parents didn't like me. It was a long distance relationship, and so we mostly chatted online but also made occasional phone calls. So we were talking on the phone, and at one point I said, "You shouldn't have to choose between me and your parents..." The conversation continued, we decided to break up. We stayed friends. Something like 10 years later, we were talking online when the subject of our breakup came up. Turns out he thought I had said, "You should have to choose between me and your parents..." and decided that he wasn't going to do that. I would never give someone that kind of ultimatum, that would be ridiculous. It blew my mind that a single misheard word caused us to break up, and we didn't realize it for 10 years.
Branded A Gay™
I asked her out and she sort of freaked. "Like...on a date? A date-date?! Oh..I want to say yes, but I can't. Every time I've dated a guy I liked we ended up hating each other. But I want to, but I can't. So....I know! You're my gay friend! I can't date you, because you're gay! Awesome! I have a gay friend now! Oh no, I'm late for class! Bye!".
I was like "What.....what just happened?". The other people of our social group were similarly confused.
All For A Dance
Not me but one of my friends who's a senior in high school got dumped by her boyfriend who she dated for almost 2 years. He dumped her because he didn't want to go to the school dance. A few days later he texted her to tell her that he wanted to get back together but she declined. He could have just told her that he didn't want to go and still be her with her or just go to the stupid dance.
She Clearly Changed Her Mind
On the surface, it sounded okay. My GF and I were kinda fizzling out. But when she dumped me, she said it was because I was not religious enough. She wanted to go to church every Sunday and for major religious holidays. I was okay with her going but I was conflicted about religion at the time so I didn't want to go. So that is what she said when she dumped me. Seems like a decent reason. What made it ridiculous is that about 6 months later, she was dating the president of the college atheist group.
Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or "🤐" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk him about it.
Wherever we go, there are social norms and expectations being jammed down our throats.
The people around us, all exposed to similar media messages and massive, powerful institutions, internalize these norms and police each other without even realizing it.
These constructs are so plentiful and subtle that they can be hard to even notice.
But once in awhile we take a step back. We zoom out. Then we see just how arbitrary and one-dimensional so many of those norms are.
Those epiphanies can be disorienting, but so empowering, too. A recent thread on Reddit asked people to share their biggest gripes about all the things forced on us.
Redditor Snoo79382 asked:
"What should society stop forcing on us?"
The internet, as it has many facets of modern life, has accelerated the rate at which things are jammed down our throats. Not a day goes by that we're not on the hook for one thing or another.
"Subscription based services. Everybody out here wants your money now on a monthly schedule."
"The need to create an account for EVERY website or software. Wtf, I just want to install my graphics drivers! There's no reason for you to know who I am, you already have many thousands of my monies."
Others discussed work and work culture. It's such a large portion of our lives, and, according to these folks, the whole thing can be handled better.
Resist the Urge to Monetize
"The idea of hobbies becoming 'side hustles.' Why can't a hobby just be a hobby" -- Electrical-Mammoth44
"Like my father always said: Don't turn your hobby into your work, because you'll have to find a new hobby." -- JustAGuy401
"Having to constantly be busy and only have 2 days to recover from it." -- Octo-Fishy
"I find the whole 5 days a week on, 2 off thing pretty infuriating. I work a 9-5 and would easily be done everything in way less time but I am required to drag it out for no reason." -- condor1111800
Passing the Buck
"Donating your vacation time to coworkers because the company you work for is shi**y. There was a natural disaster and one of the stores in the chain I worked for got flooded."
"Instead of just giving people time off because they literally couldn't work they asked everyone to give up the few paid days off we got a year. Most of us got less than a week off a year."
And others talked about the social expectations pushed on us by our friends, family members, acquaintances, and everything in between.
Aren't There Plenty Already?
"Well no one is forcing anyone, but everyone assumes you want from have kids. And if you don't everyone has a lot of questions and they start judging and trying to change your mind."
Take Your Time
"The idea that people should have their sh*t together and their life planned out at the age of 20. I'm 19 and still wanna play my pokemon games and the future scares me :')"
"The belief that you HAVE to date, have sex, and get married. Some of us don't want to do any of that and there's nothing wrong with it. I'm sick of the social pressure to date."
Racing Against Fantasy
"There should be laws about how heavily photoshopped pictures are meant to be to sell anything beauty related."
"Being constantly surrounded by images of perfection is seriously damaging to people's mental health, and the implication that a product will make you look Like This is simply false advertising when the model doesn't actually look Like This and has been heavily airbrushed at the very least."
And so, taking a cue from these Redditors, it's a good time to remember that we don't have to cave to any of this stuff if we don't want to.
It's always fun to be a little naughty, isn't it? We all have that urge to pickpocket a little something now and again. (Not that we should, that would be wrong, unless it's from Walmart; I jest.)
But we all love to dabble in the devious, the feeling can break up the monotony of the day.
That's why it's always fun to sometimes participate in an action or be aware of a knowledge that feels like it should get us arrested.
It maybe naughty but it ain't illegal.
Redditor u/poisionivey3 wanted to see who was willing to spill some secret tea by asking:
What's a piece of information you know that feels illegal to know?
Eating grapes for testing at the grocery store. Everyone does it. Is it technically illegal? Does that count? I mean as long as I don't treat it like Golden Coral, I should fine, yet it feels so mischievous.
Pick-Up Artistcarmen ejogo starz GIF by The Girlfriend ExperienceGiphy
"I'm trying to lockpick. I'm terrified how easy was pick my bicycle lock. My first attempt and it took 5 minutes."
"We can all easily find out what people paid for their house. Seems kind of personal, but it's very public. Same with divorce records."
"People being able to look up that crap is obnoxious as a semi-new homeowner. Spammers scour that crap, so the first 6 months 90% of your mail is trying to sell you mortgage insurance (the home equivalent of the car "extended waranTEE" scam calls), and a fair number of the telemarketer calls I get are people trying to purchase my house (I haven't listened to any of those long enough to know what the angle is there)."
"Elvis Presley's autopsy will be released in 2027."
In the Air
"According to what a flight attendant told me, the TVs on airplanes that charge you to watch aren't connected to the wifi when they're at the gate, so you can scan any card that resembles a debit card. They just store the info to be charged later, so if you give them a bogus card, you might still be able to get free tv."
the megDog Reaction GIFGiphy
"Nutmeg, when eaten in large quantities, is a psychedelic drug that can cause hallucinations, coma, or even death."
Nutmeg for the high? Now I wish I had known that sooner! Also, I never thought about lockpicking being shady. So many useful tips here. Let's see who else is a bandit in the making.
Vanced...youtube oh no you didnt GIFGiphy
"Youtube Vanced is a free app that's basically Youtube premium without spending money."
"Really (before 1997/98 or so) old microsoft product keys relied on a REALLY simple validity check. They were numbers in the form XXXX-YYYYYYY. The first 4 digits were specific to the software (I think Office 97 was 0402?) and fixed. The last 7 .. the check was just that the sum of all digits has to be able to be divided by 7 without rest. So 1111111 worked all the time. 1234567 worked all the time, 7777777 did."
10 Items or Less
"If your local Walmart is closed overnight but there are employees working there, the doors probably aren't locked and the self check registers are on. There's actually nothing keeping you from going in there, picking up a few items, using self checkout and walking out. I work at Walmart overnight and this guy did that a couple nights ago. He didn't speak English and when a manager noticed him they actually just escorted him to grab his items, check out and go."
Show me thew $$$
"How much my coworkers make."
"How a lot of places just let you and a friend in if you wear a construction vest and helmet and carry a ladder."
"Back in the day, we used to go to this very popular night club, where people started lining up at 6pm. Met a guy inside partying one night wearing an orange construction vest. He said he bypassed the entire line and they let him right in the door, because he was wearing that vest and carrying a clipboard. He told the bouncers he was the Fire Marshal."
On the Tarmacsi2 GIF by Solar ImpulseGiphy
"If you want to disrupt an airport it is usually super easy to drive, walk, boat etc onto the tarmac directly and security will rarely notice you before you're already causing problems. Used to write marketing copy for security companies. 90% of our airport copy was "hey wanna have some security on the back end? no? maybe?"
Ok, I'm totally trying that air traffic, runway thing. Though this really makes me feel even more anxious about our airport security. Like... how is that possible? I'm gonna need more Xanax for my next flight.
We've all said something stupid, let's not lie to ourselves.
It's okay to say something stupid. It showcases the real person on the inside, that we're all flawed, imperfect, and made of cooky combinations of words that don't necessarily line up to make sense. Sometimes we're nervous in a situation, other times we're just hitting 'Quick Reply' in our brains and what comes out doens't work, but whatever the reason, you for sure are going to remember it, late at night, for the rest of your life.
What is the stupidest thing that ever came out of your mouth?
You may not have to change your home address because of these moments, but you should probably reconsider how many public outings you go to afterwards.
Should Probably Never Shop At That Store Again
"When the cashier said "Have a nice day", and I replied with "No, thanks".
"Background: I wasnt thinking straight that day, and thought they said "Do you want a bag"
That's. How. Twins. Work?
"Her: the twins are 3 years old"
"Me: Both of them?"
"Oh no this unearthed a memory i had buried from kindergarten lmao"
"We had a set of twins in our classroom and once on their birthday party I said "your brother got such a cool party, i hope yours is nice like this too" to one of them and he was like "yeah, this one"
"4 year old me was not a very bright kid"
That's. How. Death. Works...
"Watching the documentary 'The Last Dance' when a Kobe interview pops up -"
"Me: "Wow, they must have filmed this before Kobe died."
"My wife: "Yeah, obviously…."
The cringe comes out of nowhere, and you're not even sure how you were able to ask something so incredibly stupid, but here you are. Lounging in the stupid air.
You Should Have Asked What "Nothing" Tastes Like Next
"In my head I was wondering what one pound of water would look like in terms of volume. What I said out loud however was "How much does a pound of water weigh?"
Keep Up With Me
"A couple of months ago, I got up and drove to work as usual. Later, my girlfriend texted me from home to ask me if she had left her sunglasses in my car. I told her I wasn't sure, but she could grab my spare key and go check."
"In my car."
"Which I had driven to work."
Black Is White, White Is Black
"I don't understand why people place bets on who wins, why not just place bets on who loses?"
"Yeah took me a minute to register what I said..."
And then there's these stories, where the person is probably better off cutting off any human contact henceforth going forward. These are rough to get through, folks.
Should Probably Have A Chat With HR After This
"I was about 4 months into my current job, feeling confident being fresh off the contract-to-hire period, now moved into a coveted full time role. While walking back to my office from the morning kanban I was stopped by my boss, head peeking out of the office:"
"Boss: "Hey TheMediator, do you have a sec?"
"Me: "For you, I've got lots of secs!"
"Boss: wide-eyes, mouth dropped"
"If you're curious why this was incredibly stupid/embarrassing, try saying the phrase "lots of secs" out loud. Preferably, not to your boss though."
You Don't Need College Anymore. Go Home. Bury Your Head In The Sand.
"In my freshman year of college I was dorming next door to a couple cute girls. About a week into the first semester one girl walked from the coed showers to her dorm room in her towel still wet. We were both unlocking our doors to get in our rooms when she looks at me and says…"
"I know I look stunning…(sarcastically)"
"To which I replied, "don't flatter yourself."
"I had to slid a note under her door explaining I was tongue tied as she was beautiful and I meant to say "don't be hard on yourself, you look great." (Or something to that nature). We became good friends."
It's In The Descriptor?
"Chatting to a homeless guy on the street and he told me he was feeling unwell. I told him he should be at home, resting."
"It's been 20 years and the memory of it still brings me out in a cold sweat."
Oh Good Lord...
"Asked my friend how his mom was doing at his moms funeral."
"Jesus Christ this is the worst one on this thread. What was his response?"
"He looked at me and then the casket and kind of smirked. I awkwardly started to try and explain and just said "I'm an idiot. You know I love you. Talk to you in a bit." He makes fun of me now and I can't stop laughing. It's a positive painful memory."
Own up to your mistakes. You'll garner more respect by acknowledging the awkward things you say, however, it's perfectly fine to laugh about it in the moment. That's probably the easiest way to escape the deep, deep shame.
The advice "fake it til you make it," though often said with at least a hint of sarcasm, does carry quite a bit of wisdom.
By simply putting one foot in front of the other, weathering the chaos of not knowing what's happening as you learn as fast as possible, we can find ourselves further than we expected.
Once we're there, reaping the fruits of all our "faking," we somehow begin to take on a new identity in people's eyes They assume we've always been in control and known what was going on. They defer to us for advice.
But that couldn't be further from the truth. So we keep on faking it.
Redditor espectro11 asked:
"What's your 'I don't know, I didn't think I'd get this far' moment?"
Many Redditors discussed their experiences navigating the intimidating environment of job applications, interviews, and offers.
Oh Right, Getting Paid
"I gave my resume to fancy private school (I'm a teacher, but new to the field) and I didn't expect a call back. But they called me today to ask my expected salary and I said 'I don't know what the average is. Let me Google it.' "
"Ya girl was not prepared."
"When I went for a walk-in interview looking like crap and they hired me on the spot. I get they were hiring for a new store, but they up and said 'if you want the job it's yours, when can you start?' "
"Deada** didn't think I'd make it that far."
Outside the Box
"Years ago I was applying to a bunch of copywriting jobs and feeling frustrated because I wasnt hearing back from any of the places I was applying to."
"It was especially frustrating because I was putting in all this time on cover letters and I felt like nobody was even reading them, so I said, 'Fu** it, I'm gonna write one that is more me.' I thought it was a dumb idea and never imagined that it would work, but somehow it did."
"I applied with this cover letter and the subject line "Copywriter: Will Work for Beer" to a job that I was very underqualified for. It managed to catch the eye of the headhunter for the ad agency and was enough to get me an interview. Shortly after that I was hired and ended up working there for a few years, but I remember thinking on my first day, 'I can't believe that actually worked.' "
Just Not the Right Fit
"An interview at Google. The 20 years younger than me was describing the peer review system."
"I responded with 'Jesus, that sounds awful.' "
"I did not get the job."
Others also shared experiences that centered on their working lives. But these stories weren't about being hired or interviewed.
These were accounts of long-developing success stories that they never would have predicted.
A Winding Road
"My entire legal career"
"I have four degrees and a 10 year career in commerical litigation. I just wrapped up a $200mil trusts lawsuit."
"I started at uni doing theatre and stand up comedy. I have no fu**ing idea where I turned to get here."
"Started at a very small company doing sales straight out of college. I went about messaging big corporate players (who obviously would never do business with us since our size) and was laughed at by my new colleagues for even trying."
"2 weeks later My boss was asking me what we (a team of 6) should say on the conference call with Toshiba Buyers."
Putting Fires Out
"Me at work. I feel like every issue that comes up has me unprepared. But I am always praised for my good work."
"So, I assume I have imposter syndrome and keep doing what I am doing."
So next time you find yourself ruling a possibility out completely, maybe take just a few seconds to imagine it actually occurred and prepare.
You just never know.