We've all heard the phrase "there are no stupid questions" but ... um ... most of us would beg to differ.
You know you've heard some really really disturbingly dumb questions in your life - and we'll give you a chance to sound off on those in a minute, but first...
Reddit user clock_working asked:
They say there are no stupid questions, what question have you been asked that disproves this?
Truly this is a magical parade of questions that just leave you staring, slack-jawed and slow blinking. Take some deep breaths before you go in, guys. It's bad.
A Mothers Concern
I overheard a pregnant woman on the phone say:
"I think my boyfriend is cheating on me. What happens if this baby isn't mine?"
I looked around to see if anyone else heard what she said. I wanted someone to share that moment with. Nobody else did.
Washing The Sheets
Me and my girlfriend were getting into bed for the night. She goes to sleep at like 10pm for work and I stay up all night watching TV shows, but I like to keep her company until she falls asleep. She was mad at me for not washing the bed sheets like I said i would that day. We had other sheets, but she really liked these and I did say I would wash them.
So I'm lying there feeling guilty an idea pops into my head. I excitedly ask "Want me to just clean the bed sheets and stuff while you are asleep?"
In the most monotone and unamused voice she replies "How? I'm in the bed."
I haven't felt that stupid in a while.
Circumcision Questions
"How do you know if your baby is circumcised? Can they see it on the ultrasound or do you have to wait until he is born to know?"
We were 19.
- Furvent
My ex husband (who was 28 at the time) did not know he was circumcised. We were discussing if we were going to get our son circumcised and I said that I didn't feel it was necessary. He agreed, adding that circumcised penises looked weird and gross. I stared at him for a moment and said:
"Yoooou do realize that you are circumcised, right?"
Spoiler Alert: He didn't. Sex Ed is important people.
My ex boyfriend insisted he couldn't possibly be circumcised because he wasn't Jewish.
Land On A Cloud
Former co-worker who was going on holiday: "So what would happen if my plane breaks down while it's flying? Can we just land on a cloud and wait for the recovery?"
No, you'll likely plummet to your death.
- Tricks23
Oh Canada
I'm Canadian. Was living in the US for a couple of years. People were fascinated by it. Just a few of the abysmally stupid questions I was asked:
Asked what country I was from, I replied "Canada". They asked what street that was on.
Asked by my kid's teacher if women had the right to vote in Canada.
Asked many, many times what it was like to live in an igloo. Always replied that I had no idea, I'd never even been in one. Was then asked many times what I lived in. Told them we had houses, just like theirs. They were shocked.
Asked what we did with our sled dogs when we moved. Replied we never had sled dogs. Was asked how we got around. Replied that we drove. "They have ROADS in Canada?!"
My kids' principal was concerned about their education level when we registered them in school. Had they had any "real" education? Would it take long for them to learn English? Had to explain that my kids were native English speakers and that Canada has a better education system than the US.
How did we move here? Drove. "But that's not possible! There's no other countries, it's north AMERICA." Then showed me a map of the US and Alaska to prove their point; they believed Alaska just floated out there in the ocean like an island.
I could go on. It was surreal.
What's On The Other Side?
Looking at a world map:
"If all the continents are facing this way, what's on the other side?"
She knew the earth was round, she just thought all the continents are all smooshed up on one side.
How Mermaids Are Made
GiphyI was not asked this, but my biology teacher was. This girl asked:
"If a man, like, sperms into the ocean and a fish eats it, is that how mermaids are made?"
She was completely serious. My biology teacher was just baffled and didn't know what to say.
- TealGame
How Returns Work
Working retail way back in the day.
Her: So if I don't like this, can I return it?
Me: Sure, within 30 days.
Her: So if I do I get my money back?
Me: Yup
Her: But I get to keep the item too, right?
Me (Internal face palm): No you have to give it back.
Her: But why?
This took about another 5 minutes of explaining how economics in general work. She really didn't understand that returning an item involved returning the item.
Carbs Are Great ... But Not This Great
Potato farmers, apparently...
GiphyA girl in my class asked how potatoes could be so cheap when you had to put a piece of coal under a mountain for thousands of years?
She thought potatoes were diamonds in progress.
- LerpDife
Customer service jobs are not for the faint of heart.
Dealing with people at their angriest and rudest does not breed a positive work environment.
Customer service can be a downright toxic job.
And if it's not the customers setting your spirit on fire, it's the companies themselves.
Some companies seem to revel in creating discontent.
That's why these types of jobs have such high turnover.
Redditor Psychological-Name15 wanted the customer service reps out there to give us some truths, so they asked:
"Customer service workers of Reddit, what secret can you reveal from your former company?"
I want to know about the inner workings of Comcast!!
I loathe them!
Oh Dear
Jennifer Lopez Smh GIF by American IdolGiphyI used to work in tech support for Citi Bank. The people working there are not intelligent. My favorite interaction went like this..."
"Banker - How do I type the upside down I?"
"Me - Ma'am, that's an exclamation point."
slappy_mcslapenstein
The Crappy People
"In every CS job I’ve ever had: we will bend over backward to help a nice person. We will expedite any complaint, give maximum compensation, and harass other areas of the business for you."
"We will do the absolute bare minimum to help a shi**y person and if you’re really bad, we will do everything in our power to make sure you get nothing but what you’re legally entitled to and it will be a process to get that."
11catsinahumansuit
"I don’t work in CS but 100% the same for us in IT a nice person will get new stuff while a shi**y person will get questionable secondhand crap that will take 12 months to fix! I will make sure that you wait as long as humanely possible to have anything fixed!"
Sharp-Demand-6614
Go to Holiday Inn
"If you ask for a supervisor calling Marriott you will just get another person who is not a supervisor, but say they are."
cryptnificent
"Yep. I've seen this done numerous times across multiple industries. Usually, it only involves an actual sup if it's a genuine problem or if they want to make a point."
"The last job I had was in towing junk cars. Two of the inside buyers, one male, and one female, would bounce that sup card around constantly. Idk how no one ever put it together. We'd get repeat callers and repeat sellers so I don't know."
ItsBobFromLumbridge
Heartless
"Worked at a contracted call center for Centrelink. The manager told us to deny as many emergency payments as possible and they would back us no matter what. They were actively working towards a culture that despised the callers and churned staff to get heartless right-wingers who hated the poor."
Rizza1122
"I feel ya. My best mate is a quadriplegic. Centrelink denied his disability pension because he wasn’t disabled enough."
Less-Storage
Go to Home Depot
You Are Dumb Patrick Star GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy"I worked at Lowes. I didn't know anything about anything in the electrical department yet that's where they put me without any training."
Eattherich187
Not training people is not just a Lowes thing.
There are too many unqualified people doing too many things.
Switcharoo
Drag Race What GIF by TAZOGiphy"Can confirm it's an unwritten policy for deli departments in Coles Supermarkets to change the written expiry dates on their tickets so they can sell out-of-code products at full price."
A Little Sunshine
"I worked at a call center for the billing department of a major internet and cable service provider. We were authorized to give up to $90 credit per customer on their bill but only as a last resort. Always remember to be nice to all customer service workers. You never know just how much they can help with a friendly attitude."
Axel_Dunce
"Former call center employee here. Highly accurate. Use your manners, and well fix your issue. Anything else, just makes us want to take longer, and you won't get a credit. Just because we are authorized, doesn't mean you'll get the credit for being an a**hat. haha. I've been verbally abused a few times for asking them not to swear at me. Lol."
Ok-Ad-7247
LELU
"I worked for a major telco company for many years in something called a ‘LELU’ which stands for Law Enforcement Liaison Unit. This 'unit' is pretty self-explanatory, but it essentially is a team who worked directly with the police/FEDS to monitor people's information for things such as obtaining communications history of call logs, SMS loss, etc."
"However, most importantly, the software we used, we as agents could directly see all your SMS texts, including MMS and their explicit imagery of whatever you were sending. This would include sexting, naked images, family photos, and everything. There were instances where people abused this position by stalking or 'monitoring' their SO’s comings and going’s."
MidniteMischief
Cookies!!
"I worked at a cafe chain called 'The Cookie Man,' 95% of their cookies arrived in cardboard boxes layered with bubble wrap. The last 5% arrived as pre-made dough that we would bake on-site to make the place smell like fresh cookies."
"I also worked at a cupcake shop. It's literally just packet mix that you add eggs and oil to before baking/piping pre-made icing onto. Don't waste your money on these places, 90% of these chain shops are the same and most are severely underpaying their workers (this is for Australia btw). Just purchase some packet mix from the supermarket and call it a day."
Frequent-Selection91
Look in the Back
"I was a Store Manager for a very large grocery chain and I can tell you that 95% of the time when customers complain to the manager, we may be professional and show empathy, and even resolve the problem."
"But then we usually just make fun of or talk crap about the person who complained to the other employees. And when a customer is really rude when we go 'look in the back' for something, we legit just stand around and talk to other employees, and make zero effort to look for the item."
A_Womans_Thoughts
From the Box
Kaitlin Olson Brunch GIF by The MickGiphy"I once worked at 'the area's premiere day spa'; the mimosas were made with Sunny D and not real orange juice, and the wines came out of a box."
SailorVenus23
Sunny D and champagne?!?!
What in the name of Lucifer?
Who does that?!
Do you have anything to add? Let us know in the comments below.
"What dark facts do you know about food industry?"
Unwanted Extra Ingredients...
"Sometimes the salads aren't bug free."
"There were times where I received crap for taking too long washing lettuce."
"Staff would wash a large container of lettuce like once or twice."
'I did it 3 or 4 times."
"I didn't stop until the water was clear and had no bugs."
"The others had a 'who cares' attitude."
"One time my boss needed my help and said to me frustrated, 'The lettuce is already washed, unpack it in salads quickly'."
"The lettuce looked dirty so I said to myself 'I can't sell this to people'."
"I washed it and guess what the water looked like."
"Dark brown from soil, 50+ dead gnats, a living and swimming spider the size of a penny."- FightStageYouTube
The Contaminants Will Not, Though...
"Worse I participated in as kitchen staff in a rather top-flight restaurant."
"On a slow summer Sunday afternoon, the boss sent us down to the walk-in meat coolers to spray paint the rusted walls."
"We were instructed to not remove the contents of cooler first; rather just shift the meat from one side of cooler to other."
"The coat of silver spray paint will come off during cooking."- Zealousideal_Lie_383
Season 11 Cooking GIF by MasterchefGiphyYou Have No Idea What's Been In There...
"The deep fryer grease is long overdue for a change; but it’s expensive to do so nightly."- Zealousideal_Lie_383
And People Go To Bed Hungry...
"The amount of waste thrown away every single day by grocery stores."
"I worked in the meat department of a decently sized grocery store and the waste their was nauseating."
"I sh*t you not, we would throw away an industrial sized garbage bin worth of meat, fish, and poultry every single day."
"The expiration dates dictated everything which is obviously a sensible policy to have, but they wouldn't do anything about it."
"They wouldn't donate it, let employees take it home, or make adjustments to the orders so we wouldn't have to throw so much away."
"The reasoning was always 'better have to much than not enough' which I guess makes a little sense, but when I am throwing away dozens of pounds of tenderloins, center cut fish and shellfish per night, its to much."
"Mind you, this is one department of one grocery store."
"Sorry for the rant but I feel like it needed to be said."- Zastrow_Studios
Waste Management Food GIF by UC DavisGiphyThere's A Reason They're "All You Can Eat..."
"In my country, buffets often sell spoiled food, like if the employees see mold on top of the sour cream, they just scrape it down and continue selling it."
"Also, if they sell cooked meat, they often leave them on the counter for days and add some oil to it every morning to look fresh."- Wooden_Potential_699
Don't Believe Everything You Hear... (But Remember, This One Was In Canada...)
"So odd to see all of the comments that chain places are dirty!"
"On the weekends I work as a server in the lounge of Boston Pizza (Canadian chain—not sure if there are any in the states) and when I started working there I was seriously impressed with the cleanliness procedures!"
"For one example, parmesan and chilli containers are emptied and cleaned every night, as well as salt and pepper shakers!"
"Kitchen protocols are very clean and organized as well!"- noobishpineapple
Happy Season 17 GIF by The SimpsonsGiphyNot Exactly "Haute Cuisine"...
"You'd never want to eat at a restaurant again once you saw how much of your $70 meal for two came frozen and pre-prepared in plastic bags."- PhilipLiptonSchrute
It's Not Just The Greens That Need Washing...
"Grocery distribution warehouses are often extremely filthy and rarely cleaned."
"Wash anything canned, bottled or jarred!"
"They're filthy as hell, covered in microplastics, rotten food, mouse pee, bird sh*t, etc etc."
"I used to do maintenance on conveyor systems for a major US chain and they just send sh*t flying down the conveyors so fast that, its fairly common for glass to shatter because of the vibrations, food to fall off, etc etc."
"I saw Bats, Birds and Mice in that facility, but it was within tolerance of their health policy."
"Also saw people that were sick sneezing and coughing on products."
"Never saw a floor scrubber go through the warehouse the entire 3mo I worked there and I was doing alternating double shifts!"
"The only time I saw a broom was if there was shattered glass."- -Plunder-Bunny-
mice GIFGiphyRemember, All These Incidents Are Case By Case...
"As a former chef, I've got to say that I've never seen any of the horrible stuff mentioned here over my career (mostly higher end and fine dining establishments)."
"We on ocassion would have things like frozen airline chicken breasts brought in, but other than that we did all prep and cooking by hand with fresh ingredients from mostly local purveyors when possible."
"We also broke down and deep cleaned every night from the ranges to the floors to the wells to the vents."
"Every night."
"Myself and staff have always taken this sh*t very seriously, and it's always disappointing when you hear of this kind of behavior."
"Do better, people."- iamtehryan
They Trick You With The Language
"It’s more like misleading labeling."
"No sugar."
"Right?"
"Wrong if you read ingredients on a lot of these packaging it will say things like maltodextrin and dextrose."
"That’s actually a sugar."
"Because of regulation they only have to label it no sugar and people think it’s healthy, etc."- SavemebabyK
Maybe Just Stick With Sausage...
"Worked in a pepperoni factory 20+ years ago as an accountant."
"Found that the more MSP in the bill of materials, the lower quality and cheaper the product."
"Looking at the stuff, it looked kind of like an old square crumbly eraser if you remember those."
"So I asked what MSP was."
"It's 'mechanically separated pork'."
"When I asked what that means, they told me that after all the good meat is cut off of a pig, a power washer is used to blast the remaining flesh off the carcass."
"That's scooped up, dried out and packaged as MSP."
"Enjoy your next cheap pepperoni pizza."- Lahk74
Catering Happy Birthday GIF by Feliks Tomasz KonczakowskiGiphyIt's very easy to decide not to eat at a certain restaurant, or dine at a certain grocery store owing to a less-than-appealing appearance.
That being said, many people might be surprised to discover that conditions at the "higher end" options might be as bad or worse.
Then too... if the food is delicious, and has yet to make you sick, then perhaps ignorance is, in fact, bliss.