We've all made stupid mistakes. Actually, it would be even stranger if you had never messed up or said the wrong thing or done a basic math equation wrong in your head. What matters is how you handled yourself afterwards. Did you admit your mistake? Did you apologize? Did you do everything you could to learn so you wouldn't make the same slip-up again?
Or were you like the people in the stories below?
Reddit user, u/Darth_Boot, posed the following question:
Well, Technically, He Was Right...Sort Of...
GiphyKnew a kid who drank bleach to prove it wouldn't kill you.
A week later he showed up at school after taking a shot.
He said he "proved his point" when the teacher asked why he was bragging about it.
Mr Hawk just said "But you cannot argue that without that medical treatment you'd have died though- you even said you have stomach damage and a burn esophagus yourself".
This kid was bragging about that. He was not mentally disabled or otherwise. He was just that kind of idiot.
Simple Slip Of The Apple
A classmate of mine, during biology class (we were 14 - 15 at the time), genuinely in total confidence, asked the teacher "Does the Adams apple or the heart pump blood?"
He had gotten the misconception after our teacher told us to check our pulse, and he checked by putting a finger on his throat...
No, No, That's Not The Girl...
I was in the Dominican Republic and did all the standard sight-seeing stuff. There was a church that had a grave. It was the grave of a 3-year-old. Next to the grave, there was an image of the Virgin Mary.
This highly perplexed an American tourist. She kept pointing at the Virgin Mary and saying "This girl died!?!? But she doesn't look 3! She looks sixteen!"
Just Look Up
I took my dog to the vet not that long ago. They now pick up your dog from your car instead of you going in, due to the recent coronavirus epidemic. They also put up these big signs in pink on the door that said, "please don't come on, wait for the worker to come to you."
So while we were waiting this women pulled up in her car and parked near the front. She got out and tried to open the door for a good 5 minutes straight. The sign was right there in her face too, in BRIGHT NEON PINK! I watched in amusement waiting for a nurse to come out and tell her to stop.
Socks To Be You
In high school I was over at one of my friends house and we were getting ready to go to the mall or something. We were almost ready to go and she sat down on the floor staring intently at her socks. She then commented on how she hated socks because it's so hard to tell the left from the right.We also once got into an argument about mixing colors. She was adamant that yellow and orange made red. I had to physically mix paint in front of her to show her that she was wrong.
Doubly Wrong In The Right Way
In grade ten, we had a science test, and the teacher gave one point for putting a date on the paper, and one point for your name on the paper....and then there were 98 points for the rest of the test. A guy sitting in front of me got 0.5/100....didnt write the date and only wrote his first name....
Definitely One Of Those Problems Where If You Think About It For Two Seconds...
At the start of working from home due to the pandemix, I had a few users submit tickets for "connectivity issues". These tickets got through 2 lines of support before landing in my queue.
Turns out that the corporate WiFi doesn't follow you home and you need home internet in order to connect to the VPN.
We've All Got One In Our Lives
Just scroll down a webpage or Facebook feed and have a look at the ads. Things like "only 2% can solve this puzzle" sh-t like that. Those ads get posted so much because they actually work on a lot of people.
Ugh, these are the worst. "Only 5% of people are smart enough to get this right, can you?" and then it's usually some stupid grade school riddle that I've known the answer to since I was 7, or some "complicated" math equation that any middle schooler who remembers PEMDAS could easily solve.
I actually had people on my Facebook who would share their results for these tests, like "OMG look how smart I am, I knew the answer!" I mean, sure, there are probably people who wouldn't be able to answer these, but it's definitely not 95%, and if you're dumb enough to actually believe that only 5% of the people who read that post can solve it, and feel like knowing the answer somehow gives you bragging rights, you're definitely not winning any intelligence awards.
That Moment When You Realize You Have It More Together Than The Boss
I worked at Little Caesars and we were proofing the dough for pizza. My boss said (at 7pm) that the dough needed to rise for 12 hours, and took out her calculator to do the math. So I said ummm that's gonna be 7am. Then she said the dough will expire in 48 hours and started doing the math again. I told her it would expire two days from now, and she said "that's kinda weird how that works out huh?"
I quit shortly after that.
The Parent Has Become The Student
GiphyI teach 6th grade. One time a parent came to me after trying to help their child with math homework and asked, "What number is x worth? It feels like it changes with every problem!"
Thank You, Captain Hindsight!
My mother-in-law thinks she's psychic because she has the "ability" to predict what has already happened. For example: A couple of years ago, there was a pretty major event near our hometown that claimed the a number of lives and left many seriously injured. It was all over the news and I don't just mean in our town - this was big news around the country and even got international response.
She later claimed she knew it was going to happen because, that night, each and every victim visited her in the night before leaving Earth. She claimed that this was proof of her psychic abilities because even though you couldn't get away from the news, she TOTALLY didn't know it happened until all the victims came to visit an old lady in bed. Smh
That's Not How Time Works
I remember a friend telling me her sisters were in America at the same time of Michael Jackson's death so they found out quicker than us in the UK. Within 2 hours apparently. I was like yeah but I mean it was all over the internet, news etc globally as it was happening but she thought just because her sisters were in America ( in NY by the way) they found out sooner.
Thinking You're Outside The Rules
Walked into a fast food joint this morning for breakfast. Signs everywhere saying "drive-thru, delivery, take-out", "Dining room closed", stickers on the floor at 6' gaps with lines marked out in tape through the dining area, chairs on top of tables, and on EVERY table - "We're sorry, our dining area is closed at this time."
Two 'gentlemen' just got their food as I walked in with my partner (EMS, we needed food for 12 hour shift), and then sat down at a table to begin eating. Once the front counter employee had taken mine and my partner's orders, she very politely reminded them that the dining area was closed.
"Oh, we didn't know." Bullsh-t, you entitled motherf-ckers. You felt the rules, signs, and social distancing didn't apply to you. My only regret was being in uniform myself, so I couldn't share my mind. I did congratulate the employee on her tact, though, after the idiots had left.
Wibbly-Wobbly, Timey-Wimey
On 9/11 the General Manager called his daughter who was attending ASU to wake her up and make sure she saw what was going on. The customer service MANAGER said "It won't be on her TV yet, Arizona is 2 hours behind us"
It's All Breathing
One of my nieces had a cold as a toddler and was breathing through her mouth. My ex BIL flipped out because he didn't want her to get carbon monoxide poisoning from breathing through her mouth instead of her nose (the "normal" way)....... 😔
I read things like this and start asking myself, "why would anyone think this? How would this even work?"
And then I realize, this is the kind of stupid I don't want to understand.
1,000% Not How Science Works At All
A woman I used to work with who insisted that any animal could reproduce with any other animal. She believed that sperm from any animal was the same and that DNA was irrelevant.
She believed this because she once saw some sickly, possibly deformed puppies and decided that they must have been half dog and half rat.
Wow...
I worked at a bank. Mobile depositing had just became a "thing". We received a picture of someones cash for deposit. Yea..
This Is Very Real. Do A Quick Search.
In the 80's, A&W attempted to compete with McDonald's "quarter-pounder" burger by selling a "third-pounder" for the same price. The operation failed tremendously, with virtually no one buying the burger. When they surveyed customers for an explanation, the majority of customers responded that they "didn't want to pay the same price for less meat."
Their customers genuinely believed that one third was less than one fourth and refused to try the new A&W burger because of it.
Saved By Florida!
Giphy
The fact Florida had to tell people NOT to shoot at the hurricane.foolhardyassEven better, the fact that NOAA even has to have a section on their site explaining why using nuclear weapons against hurricanes is far worse than the worst idea you can possibly imagine.SpajdrasticBut at least nobody with actual access or the power to authorize the use of nuclear weapons would EVER have an idea that blindingly stupid.StanDarkloard
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"What's the most mysterious thing happened in your life that you can't find any explanation for?"
Mom Acting Weird
"My mum is a type 1 diabetic, has been since she was 11 years of age."
"When me and my little brother were very young, I was about 7 and he was 5 , I came into my mum's room to find she was acting extremely strange."
"She looked almost drunk, and wasn’t really responsive."
"I went to pick up her insulin needles to see if she would react to that and she didn’t."
"So I panicked and phoned my Nan who told me to put the phone down and dial 999."
"For some reason I was so frightened and confused I didn’t, and sent my little brother outside to get help while I tried to get my mum to respond to me."
"My brother came back in crying saying he couldn’t find anyone and then about five minuets later this woman just walked into my mum's bedroom, called me by my name, and my brothers, said she knew my mum and help is coming, she was calm, soft-spoken and had a warm feeling about her."
"I didn’t recognize this woman and neither did my brother."
"Shortly after the ambulance arrived and got my mum's sugar levels back up."
"And when I went to find the woman, she was gone."
"Like literally gone."
"When my mum came round I explained to her about this mysterious woman and what she looked like."
"And my mum had absolutely no idea who she was, and we never saw her again."
"If she didn’t help us my mum would have died eventually."
"Still gives me shivers now."- leeshouse90
Portrait Of A Lady On Fire Neon Rated GIF by NEONGiphyPsychic, or lucky?
"When I was around 18 a friend and I were traveling in Europe."
"We were walking along a pleasant, quiet street in Rome one day and saw an elderly homeless man sitting on the street."
"He said to us if he could guess our date of birth could we give him some money?"
"Of course we said ok."
"He did it! "
"He told us both our correct dates of birth!"
"Never met him before and never saw him again."- robertodurian
Some Unfinished Work, Maybe?
"I was at my mother in law's flat in Hungary."
"Fyi I don't speak Hungarian, so I couldn't be aware of any of this."
"I tend to go to bed later that my wife, and for the first couple of nights, I had trouble falling asleep because around midnight I could hear the neighbor upstairs."
"It's an old block of flats made under the communist era, walls are incredibly thin."
"Walk in high heels, which was very annoying."
"I could also hear little objects fall on the floor, and I told my wife it sounded like the plastic buttons you have on some clothes."
"She looked at me funny and told me her niece hated to sleep in that room because she was scared by the noises coming from upstairs."
"I said that was a bit exaggerated, and I thought it was until my wife told me the flat upstairs had been empty for the past at least 4 years."
"Neighbor died years before that, and guess what?"
"She was a tailor, always nicely dressed and wearing high heels."- mimzou
High Heels Shoes GIF by Real Housewives Of CheshireGiphyGone Without A Trace
"When I was a kid, I participated in Big Brothers Big Sisters, which if you don't know what that is it's pretty much just a mentorship program in the US."
"I basically just hung out with this dude Chris for a couple hours a week."
"We'd go to the movies, out to eat, he'd help me with my homework, that kinda thing."
"One day, he tells me that he's going to Baltimore for a couple weeks and when I should expect him back."
"The day rolls around and I give him a call to see if he's back yet."
"A man whose voice I didn't recognize answered and I asked if Chris was there."
"He said no."
"I asked him when Chris would be back just kinda thinking it was someone staying at his house or watching his dogs or something."
"But he said that I had the wrong number, that he and his wife had lived there for years, and there was never a Chris there."
"I double checked in the phonebook to see if it was the right number which it was because I had it circled."
"I was confused so I just said sorry and hung up, and I never heard from Chris ever again."- theautomemoriesdoll
A Clever Distraction?
"When I was 10 or so I was staying at my grandma's over the summer break and we were having breakfast."
"We barely started eating when the phone rang."
"She left the dining room and I followed her thinking that maybe they were my parents calling."
"When we returned most of the food was gone."
"She asked me if I ate while she was on the phone and I said 'no'."
"There was no one else home and there were no pets."
"My grandma just shook it off saying we might have eaten more than she remembered but I am absolutely positive that I had at most two bites of my toast by the time the phone rang."- queenliz2fr
Hungry Good Morning GIF by HBO MaxGiphyMystery Benefactor
"Every month around the 5th I get a letter with exactly 23 dollars."
"No note, no return address."
"I’ve asked family, relatives, friends, the two past occupants of this apartment."
"Nobody knows anything about it."
"It is not addressed to me, but to my unique postal address."
"The total is now exactly 1886, I have just stashed it all in a box."
"I do not want to spend it in case it is cursed."- Puzzleheaded_Ad928
A Comforting Sign
"My grandmother always loved roses and had them growing in her back yard."
"She died in a December and when we were gathered at her house for the funeral my father happened to look out the back window and saw a bright red rose had blossomed."
"It stood out brightly against the snow."
"He brought it in and put it in a vase on the kitchen table."
"We all left for the funeral and when we came back the rose was on the living room floor."
"No one had been in the house while we were gone."
"My father is the most hard-headed person alive but he was convinced it was his mothers way of telling him she was all right."- regular6drunk7
Mystery Portal?
"We have a built in wardrobe in our bedroom."
"About a month ago our cat had managed to get herself inside and I must have closed the door."
"I heard her meowing and I opened the door and she jumped out and walked off."
"Silly cat."
"I closed the wardrobe door."
"Less than five minutes later I hear a meow in the wardrobe, I open the door and to my surprise, our cat jumps out again and walks off."
"My partner and I were both stunned as there is no way into the wardrobe with the doors closed."
"Neither of us have any idea how this happened."- TorthOrc
Cat Jumping GIFGiphyLost Time
"I had just picked up a coworker from her house heading to work.'
"We are just talking and chatting, "how'd your weekend go" type of stuff."
"We are maybe 5 miles away from her house, when all of a sudden, we realize we are in town pulling into works parking lot."
"We both kinda look at each other not sure what happened."
"We had gone near 20 miles in a blink of an eye."
"And what cemented this experience as something that I actually happened, and not just simply losing track of time, IS THE TIME!"
"It should have taken us almost half an hour to get to work."
"Instead the time from when I picked her up was 2:30."
"And the time when we got to the building was 2:40."
"There is no way in HELL!"
"We couldn't have gotten there that fast."
"From that point on we both called that experience the time when we Jumped, like from the movie Jumper."
"I have no explanation why."
"I'll also state, I don't believe in the paranormal or supernatural."
"So this experience is one of those things that makes me question my own sanity."- belac4862
car dark GIFGiphyThere must be an explanation for these circumstances...
Even if it's not an explanation that will make any sense, otherworldly or not.
What is a great example of 'f*ck around and find out'"?
Never Be Afraid To Seek Help
"Hey remember how they said drugs can ruin your f*cking life?"
"Turns out that was true."- WowAPenguin
They Put Up Those Walls For A Reason
"People who die after going over the safety fence at zoo, or basically any safety fence."- Solid_Refrigerator16
They Can't Say They Weren't Warned...
"Those who go deep cave diving and ignore the warning signs."- somekindofmiracle
cave GIFGiphyNever Stand Behind Them...
"Jacka**es who come to the stables I ride at and act weird around horses."
"Those animals play no games."- clem82
Is It Really Worth It?
"Running of the Bulls in Spain."
"The videos each year of the people getting completely annihilated by the bulls is a great example."- getagrooving
Never Get Too Big For Your Britches...
"When I was young I boxed and eventually got into golden gloves."
"I got a few wins under my belt and said I wanted to fight someone legit, someone who would be a real challenge."
"An opportunity came up to fight someone very good, a guy who'd eventually win regional and state and later go pro."
"At this point I'd not lost or even been knocked down, so my confidence was high, that is until he knocked me the hell out very early in the fight and taught me that there are BIG differences in the different talent levels of fighting."-Reddit
episode 2 boxing GIF by Archie ComicsGiphySharks might be the least of your problems...
"Go swimming outside the flags in Australia."- d*ckflip1980
Clown Behavior
"When people were dressing up like clowns to scare people."
"It kinda stopped after one got shot."- BigMaraJeff2
Or With Anything Dangerous...
"Playing with electricity."- tlmega124
Jack Nicholson Hair GIF by MOODMANGiphyThey Won't Harm You If You Won't Harm Them...
"People that approach wildlife in state parks."- Rider-of-Rohaan42
Best To Keep Hands And Feet Out Of Moving Vehicles...
"Your boss at the warehouse is constantly telling you to keep your feet within the confines of your vehicle, and not to hang them, and to stay clear when walking, because if you don't, a 6,000 pound+ vehicle impacting a fixed surface will turn your foot into spaghetti sauce."
"Do not f*ck around, ever, with industrial vehicles."
"Follow all guidelines, always."
"A powered ride-on pallet jack weighs as much as 2-3 small cars, when fully loaded."
"It will absolutely ruin you if you don't operate safely."- SpaceCorpse
Still Probably Best Not To Do It At All!
"My uncle was a high-profile defense attorney specializing in folks who were arrested for drug trafficking."
"The greatest advice he ever gave to me was, if you want to smuggle ANYTHING, you can do it one time."
"Just once."
"After that, you will be caught and you will be f*cked."- redoctober2021
Confusing On So Many Levels...
"Trying to armed rob a gun store."- VagabondTexan
You'd Think People Would Have Learned By Now...
"Taking Julius Caesar hostage."- EgoSenatus
caesar GIFGiphyNo One Is Invincible...
"Ye saying he can’t be dropped by Adidas, then immediately getting dropped by Adidas."- Admin_Untold
It's one thing to make a mistake after being a bit too hasty, and not giving something enough thought.
But if you end up in the ER after being urged not to do something, and well aware of what might happen, don't expect too many flowers...