Nobody is perfect and we all make mistakes, teachers and students alike. The classroom is one of the most interesting places. Not everything the teacher says is Gospel and more often than not what stumbles out of the mouth of a student will sound more like a punchline than knowledge. But there is always knowledge in the answers, right or wrong. And often a response can be shocking and hilarious.
Redditor u/6456290 wanted to hear what the kids today are hearing in class.... What is the most hilariously incorrect thing a teacher told your class?
Computer teacher told us if you use "cut" on an image on a website that it will be removed from the website and will upset the website maker, so be sure to use "copy." Raven_of_Blades
I had a "programming" teacher in HS back in 1999. He photocopied books on visual basic and passed it out to the class. Didn't teach anything, really. I once asked him a question and he said "I don't know, I haven't read the chapter yet." silentknight111
If a bug was in an airplane it would not be able to fly forward because it could not fly faster than the plane was moving... Durzo_Galt
If a human is on an airplane they cannot walk to the front of the plane, as a human cannot walk faster than a plane. darkslayer114
There's a whole famous section in Galileo's Dialogue on a thought experiment where he puts some butterflies in a closed room on a boat and how they would fly just fine, plus other examples. hircc
Our Loins are on Fire.....
English is my second language, and during english class, one of the students asked her what did "lion cub" mean. She says it means "lion cube." No, it doesn't make any more sense in my native language. fffogolin
You 'fatigue' me Miss!
My grade 6 teacher told me that "fatigued" was in fact not a word when I used it in a short story and insisted that I looked in the dictionary. Found it in the dictionary in about 2 minutes and proved her wrong in front of the whole class. aesthetic-pixies
One Size fits All?Giphy
Science teacher, during the sex ed portion of the year, said all penises are the same size "when it counts" (i.e. when erect). Classmate then asked why boobs can be different sizes, but the penis is the same for all men. Teacher then said she didn't know and that would be a question she would ask St. Peter when arriving at the pearly gates.
I have a feeling the science teacher never saw more than one erect penis. talonz1523
I like BK!
That a Big Mac from McDonalds overwhelms your stomach with so much of everything that it doesn't register you've eaten anything and that's why you get hungry again so quickly after. jamb0wise
Uuuuh I'm overwhelmed by what you just said I'll go get a big Mac. nouille07
The Wool over her Eyes....
The teacher put materials from plants and materials from animals on a board. We could not convince her that wool was not a plant. She was openly ridiculing us too.
I am fairly sure she thought that wool was made from cotton (as cotton wool is) but she put a hank of actual wool on the board. I grew up on a farm, incidentally, I was not mistaken about any of this, she was just wrong. Pedantichrist
Thank you Malaysia!
When i was in kindergarten, our homework assignment was to ask our parents what country they were from so the teacher could show us on the globe where it was. Younger me was so excited! I went home and asked my Mom where she was born and she told me her family was from Malaysia. All day I practiced and practiced. I couldn't wait to share this info with my teacher!
When i went to school the next day, i told my teacher that my mom is from Malaysia. With a look of utter disappointment, my teacher informed me that Malaysia was not a country, and i needed to ask my mom again. I was CRUSHED that my Mom would lie to me like that. Or that she was wrong. Either way little me cried to her and told her that my teacher said Malaysia is not a country..
So Mama was not happy that i was told this and came with me to school the next day to give the teacher a piece of her mind. To this day I've never seen my mother get so red in the face while yelling at my teacher. After she was through, I quickly got an apology and a geography lesson on where Malaysia was! llCloudIXll
You say potato, I say pototo!
While teaching Japanese history, my teacher was entirely convinced that the suicide of a Japanese Samurai was called sudoku, instead of seppuku. tunisianite
Your teacher is correct. The shamed samurai carved 81 squares into his chest before meticulously painting the numbers 1 through 9 on his chest in a difficult to discern pattern. The Samurai would often die part way through the process. To restore his honor, the family would have to finish the pattern before burial. nedtheredeemer
God save the Queen!Giphy
I grew up in England but did part of my high school in the US. One of the teachers there organized a thing where we were volunteered to read stories to elementary school kids.
After reading my story, I guess the teacher felt the need to make note of my accent to the class. She asked me to tell the kids where I was from. I said "I'm from England" and she did that thing teachers do where she repeats the info to the kids but she says "Did you hear that kids? She's from England, that's in London." I tried a little bit of a correction "actually, I'm from England..." and she just repeats to the kids "Yes kids, England, that's in London!"
I was too shy at that age to call her out on it but it still makes me cringe to this day. princess_o_darkness
My english teacher told the class that the statue of liberty in New York was destroyed on 9/11. OMFG-TR
It was actually destroyed a few years later when the Cloverfield monster arrived. Understandable to make such a mistake. jaytrade21
College Sociology course Professor put in one of her slides,
"There are no biological factors that can explain why one disease is more prevalent in one race than the other. The only cause of this with supporting evidence is Racism."
The whole class was pretty dumbfounded. ryweet
Non Science? Like Alternate Facts?
Not my class but I wanted to do an experiment for a science fair type thing on animal behavior in high school.
I had one of my science teachers try to tell me that animal behavior isn't real science and that I needed to pick something else. Even as a high school kid I knew this was bull. I was like "TIL that Skinner and Goodall aren't real scientists." Oddly enough in college I had 2 advisors who were very interested in animal behavior and I ended up doing a pilot study for undergrad where I studied toy preference in captive tigers. Despite having passed my schools IACUC the state academy of science denied me a grant for "not having a realistic study" because where was I going to find tigers in our state?
I wonder if someone from that committee was in the audience for my presentation because a lot of questions focused on where I had access to captive tigers (a private sanctuary 20 minutes from my house that had almost 20 Bengal and Siberian tiger on their property, every one in my study was bred in TX and assigned numbers since some were from abuse cases). Now I work as a veterinary nurse and have special certifications for Fear Free and low stress handling practices which relies heavily on animal behavior, the "non science." Yay_Rabies
She's So Unusual....
My third grade teacher tried to fail me because I did a report on Narwhals (the assignment was 'unusual animals'). She claimed they didn't exist, and that I feel for a 'gag article' in National Geographic. We eventually had to get the principal involved.
This was neither the first, nor the last time she tried to fail me for something that was obscure but factually correct. She and I did not get along, and to this day I still can't figure out how she had a masters degree. McFlyParadox
What filth are YOU watching?!
We were learning Sex Ed, and were doing this thing where everyone in the class put a folded up piece of paper into a hat, some with questions on it. This way the kids could ask anonymously, and the teacher would answer. The teacher was asked, "how do gay people have sex?" After a lot of stammering, she was like, "one gay man opens up his penis and the other man pushes his penis inside the hole." You have to either have a profound ignorance of how penis' work, or be into some really weird porn to believe this is true. TrentonConnector
Kellyanne is that you?
Not me but my brother. This was in the early 70's in a small town in Louisiana, his teacher told the class that a fact was any thing written down in a book. speczero
This one has some backing. The reason books are more credible is because they are proofread and edited before published. Now this isn't foolproof, as there could be a biased editor or a stubborn author, or maybe something just got missed. EndyStar
Know your lines!
My sophomore English teacher tried telling the class "wherefore art thou" in Romeo and Juliet meant "where are you" and not "why are you?" I had already learned previously that it meant "why are you Romeo" as in why are you a Montague, and wherefore is just a false cognate for modern English (due to me moving schools and already learning the curriculum, and even doing a quick google search) and when I brought it up she argued with me.
It really pissed me off for no reason but I think I was just more mad that she incorrectly taught one of the most famous lines in English literature to a class of 30 kids, and likely more. DaTeds
Who allows you to mold young minds?
We talked about WW2 and she asked what two Japanese cities had the atomic bomb dropped on them, and I raised my hand and said "Hiroshima and Nagasaki." She told me I was wrong and then said it starts with a T..🤦🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️ jayskip
Just take me back to Earth Science...Giphy
Bio teacher once told me that you multiply exponents numbers when multiplying scientific notation numbers...
E.g 10x105 x 10x105 = 10x1025
When I showed her that was not how math worked and proved it on a calculator, she kicked me out of class. Proceeded to do this incorrectly for the entire year just to get questions write on her crappy tests
She also somehow screwed up 2x2 Punnet squares. Now I question everything I know about biology. jayeffkay
Bless your Heart....
In religious class (idk if that exists in the states), our teacher said "In poor COUNTRIES like AFRICA ..." Me and a friend were laughing. After asking what's so funny (we lied), she continued: "So in poor COUNTRIES like AFRICA and SOUTH-AMERICA..."
We continued dying of laughter. RocketyRickety