Nobody is perfect and we all make mistakes, teachers and students alike. The classroom is one of the most interesting places. Not everything the teacher says is Gospel and more often than not what stumbles out of the mouth of a student will sound more like a punchline than knowledge. But there is always knowledge in the answers, right or wrong. And often a response can be shocking and hilarious.
Redditor u/6456290 wanted to hear what the kids today are hearing in class.... What is the most hilariously incorrect thing a teacher told your class?
Cut-it-Out!
GiphyComputer teacher told us if you use "cut" on an image on a website that it will be removed from the website and will upset the website maker, so be sure to use "copy." Raven_of_Blades
I had a "programming" teacher in HS back in 1999. He photocopied books on visual basic and passed it out to the class. Didn't teach anything, really. I once asked him a question and he said "I don't know, I haven't read the chapter yet." silentknight111
Bug-a-Boo.....
If a bug was in an airplane it would not be able to fly forward because it could not fly faster than the plane was moving... Durzo_Galt
If a human is on an airplane they cannot walk to the front of the plane, as a human cannot walk faster than a plane. darkslayer114
There's a whole famous section in Galileo's Dialogue on a thought experiment where he puts some butterflies in a closed room on a boat and how they would fly just fine, plus other examples. hircc
Our Loins are on Fire.....
English is my second language, and during english class, one of the students asked her what did "lion cub" mean. She says it means "lion cube." No, it doesn't make any more sense in my native language. fffogolin
You 'fatigue' me Miss!
My grade 6 teacher told me that "fatigued" was in fact not a word when I used it in a short story and insisted that I looked in the dictionary. Found it in the dictionary in about 2 minutes and proved her wrong in front of the whole class. aesthetic-pixies
One Size fits All?
GiphyScience teacher, during the sex ed portion of the year, said all penises are the same size "when it counts" (i.e. when erect). Classmate then asked why boobs can be different sizes, but the penis is the same for all men. Teacher then said she didn't know and that would be a question she would ask St. Peter when arriving at the pearly gates.
I have a feeling the science teacher never saw more than one erect penis. talonz1523
I like BK!
That a Big Mac from McDonalds overwhelms your stomach with so much of everything that it doesn't register you've eaten anything and that's why you get hungry again so quickly after. jamb0wise
Uuuuh I'm overwhelmed by what you just said I'll go get a big Mac. nouille07
The Wool over her Eyes....
The teacher put materials from plants and materials from animals on a board. We could not convince her that wool was not a plant. She was openly ridiculing us too.
I am fairly sure she thought that wool was made from cotton (as cotton wool is) but she put a hank of actual wool on the board. I grew up on a farm, incidentally, I was not mistaken about any of this, she was just wrong. Pedantichrist
Thank you Malaysia!
When i was in kindergarten, our homework assignment was to ask our parents what country they were from so the teacher could show us on the globe where it was. Younger me was so excited! I went home and asked my Mom where she was born and she told me her family was from Malaysia. All day I practiced and practiced. I couldn't wait to share this info with my teacher!
When i went to school the next day, i told my teacher that my mom is from Malaysia. With a look of utter disappointment, my teacher informed me that Malaysia was not a country, and i needed to ask my mom again. I was CRUSHED that my Mom would lie to me like that. Or that she was wrong. Either way little me cried to her and told her that my teacher said Malaysia is not a country..
So Mama was not happy that i was told this and came with me to school the next day to give the teacher a piece of her mind. To this day I've never seen my mother get so red in the face while yelling at my teacher. After she was through, I quickly got an apology and a geography lesson on where Malaysia was! llCloudIXll
You say potato, I say pototo!
While teaching Japanese history, my teacher was entirely convinced that the suicide of a Japanese Samurai was called sudoku, instead of seppuku. tunisianite
Your teacher is correct. The shamed samurai carved 81 squares into his chest before meticulously painting the numbers 1 through 9 on his chest in a difficult to discern pattern. The Samurai would often die part way through the process. To restore his honor, the family would have to finish the pattern before burial. nedtheredeemer
God save the Queen!
GiphyI grew up in England but did part of my high school in the US. One of the teachers there organized a thing where we were volunteered to read stories to elementary school kids.
After reading my story, I guess the teacher felt the need to make note of my accent to the class. She asked me to tell the kids where I was from. I said "I'm from England" and she did that thing teachers do where she repeats the info to the kids but she says "Did you hear that kids? She's from England, that's in London." I tried a little bit of a correction "actually, I'm from England..." and she just repeats to the kids "Yes kids, England, that's in London!"
I was too shy at that age to call her out on it but it still makes me cringe to this day. princess_o_darkness
Um... what?
My english teacher told the class that the statue of liberty in New York was destroyed on 9/11. OMFG-TR
It was actually destroyed a few years later when the Cloverfield monster arrived. Understandable to make such a mistake. jaytrade21
You're Fired!
GiphyCollege Sociology course Professor put in one of her slides,
"There are no biological factors that can explain why one disease is more prevalent in one race than the other. The only cause of this with supporting evidence is Racism."
The whole class was pretty dumbfounded. ryweet
Non Science? Like Alternate Facts?
Not my class but I wanted to do an experiment for a science fair type thing on animal behavior in high school.
I had one of my science teachers try to tell me that animal behavior isn't real science and that I needed to pick something else. Even as a high school kid I knew this was bull. I was like "TIL that Skinner and Goodall aren't real scientists." Oddly enough in college I had 2 advisors who were very interested in animal behavior and I ended up doing a pilot study for undergrad where I studied toy preference in captive tigers. Despite having passed my schools IACUC the state academy of science denied me a grant for "not having a realistic study" because where was I going to find tigers in our state?
I wonder if someone from that committee was in the audience for my presentation because a lot of questions focused on where I had access to captive tigers (a private sanctuary 20 minutes from my house that had almost 20 Bengal and Siberian tiger on their property, every one in my study was bred in TX and assigned numbers since some were from abuse cases). Now I work as a veterinary nurse and have special certifications for Fear Free and low stress handling practices which relies heavily on animal behavior, the "non science." Yay_Rabies
She's So Unusual....
My third grade teacher tried to fail me because I did a report on Narwhals (the assignment was 'unusual animals'). She claimed they didn't exist, and that I feel for a 'gag article' in National Geographic. We eventually had to get the principal involved.
This was neither the first, nor the last time she tried to fail me for something that was obscure but factually correct. She and I did not get along, and to this day I still can't figure out how she had a masters degree. McFlyParadox
What filth are YOU watching?!
We were learning Sex Ed, and were doing this thing where everyone in the class put a folded up piece of paper into a hat, some with questions on it. This way the kids could ask anonymously, and the teacher would answer. The teacher was asked, "how do gay people have sex?" After a lot of stammering, she was like, "one gay man opens up his penis and the other man pushes his penis inside the hole." You have to either have a profound ignorance of how penis' work, or be into some really weird porn to believe this is true. TrentonConnector
Kellyanne is that you?
Not me but my brother. This was in the early 70's in a small town in Louisiana, his teacher told the class that a fact was any thing written down in a book. speczero
This one has some backing. The reason books are more credible is because they are proofread and edited before published. Now this isn't foolproof, as there could be a biased editor or a stubborn author, or maybe something just got missed. EndyStar
Know your lines!
My sophomore English teacher tried telling the class "wherefore art thou" in Romeo and Juliet meant "where are you" and not "why are you?" I had already learned previously that it meant "why are you Romeo" as in why are you a Montague, and wherefore is just a false cognate for modern English (due to me moving schools and already learning the curriculum, and even doing a quick google search) and when I brought it up she argued with me.
It really pissed me off for no reason but I think I was just more mad that she incorrectly taught one of the most famous lines in English literature to a class of 30 kids, and likely more. DaTeds
Who allows you to mold young minds?
We talked about WW2 and she asked what two Japanese cities had the atomic bomb dropped on them, and I raised my hand and said "Hiroshima and Nagasaki." She told me I was wrong and then said it starts with a T..🤦🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️ jayskip
Just take me back to Earth Science...
GiphyBio teacher once told me that you multiply exponents numbers when multiplying scientific notation numbers...
E.g 10x105 x 10x105 = 10x1025
When I showed her that was not how math worked and proved it on a calculator, she kicked me out of class. Proceeded to do this incorrectly for the entire year just to get questions write on her crappy tests
She also somehow screwed up 2x2 Punnet squares. Now I question everything I know about biology. jayeffkay
Bless your Heart....
In religious class (idk if that exists in the states), our teacher said "In poor COUNTRIES like AFRICA ..." Me and a friend were laughing. After asking what's so funny (we lied), she continued: "So in poor COUNTRIES like AFRICA and SOUTH-AMERICA..."
We continued dying of laughter. RocketyRickety
Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.