Students Explain How Their Teacher Automatically Gained Respect From The Class
Think back to your K-12 days. You had A LOT of teachers in those 13 years.
Let's ball park it with some quick math. K-6 you probably had one main teacher, maybe a few more with "specials" like library or gym. That's 3 per year for 7 years, so 21.
Then 7-12 you had about 6 teachers, one for each subject. That's 36 teachers, plus the 21 from earlier makes roughly 57 teachers in all your years at school (not to mention college, if you decided to go, but we won't even count that for now).
Depending on how many years it's been since you graduated high school, you probably only remember a fraction of that list of nearly 60 people.
Which begs the question: why? Why do we remember certain teachers?
Those memorable few were either insanely mean, hilarious, amazing at educating, or just good, genuine human beings. Some Redditors gathered to discuss the most positive memories of teachers, and the exact moments they were solidified as heroes.
ApacheAirCover asked,
"What did a teacher do that made you automatically gain respect for them?"
A few Redditors were impressed by the teachers who understood their role as the adults in a room of either children or--even worse--teenagers.
These teachers, in one fell swoop, stepped up as powerful defenders of bullying victims. And they did it with grace and humor.
Joining In
"When I was in the 1st grade my mother gave me one of MANY really awful haircuts. The first day back at school afterward the kids picked on me horribly. So much that I ran out and hid."
"The principal found me and we went back to the classroom and he asked me to wait outside for a minute while he talked to the class. He then walked me to his office and bought me a Coke."
"The next day - first thing in the morning - we had an assembly with the entire school and he walked up on stage with his head shaved completely bald and talked about bullying and the like."
"Some twenty years down the road he had retired and I ran into him at the local college. Shook his hand and said, 'You probably don't remember me, but...'"
"'Yes I do,' he interrupted and said my name and the event. The man was and is a hero in my eyes."
-- hopgeek
Nipped in the Bud
"My high school science teacher paused class to rip a student apart for bullying another student."
"Called it out as soon as it happened, in front of everyone, and that bully never went near that other kid again. Will always remember that."
-- Mariospario
How to Take it Seriously While Keeping Things Light
"10th grade English teacher, huge prankster and joker. He heard one student make fun of another student in a degrading way and proceeded to use the last 30 minutes of class to hold a trial for the punishment."
"The bully was given a week of cleaning the halls after school had let out. Never bullied again."
"This is also the same teacher who made us listen to T Pain while reading Thomas Paine. By far my favorite teacher."
Others remembered the teachers that were keenly perceptive of students' lives outside the school context.
These teachers took it upon themselves to be a resource for when hardships of home-life struck, be it through emotional support or pragmatic assistance.
All on the Same Side
"It was a professor, but she said she wasn't going to have a textbook for the class. Basically, she didn't respect the textbook representatives trying to take the pharma approach to force kids to buy an $170 access code."
"Instant respect. You just had to show up to the lectures and she'd teach you what you needed to know."
A Good Background to Have
"I had a business studies teacher who used to be a mental health professional. So she knew the signs when my depression was particularly bad (for example submitting work at 3am)..."
"...and would always make sure I had eaten and offered me coffee and generally made her classroom a safe space for anyone. Sesstein if you're reading this you're amazing!!"
Investing in the Future
"I remember my 5th grade teacher had every student circle one book from the Scholastic book fair flyer."
"When the day came for the fair if you didn't go to the library to purchase that book for yourself, she would buy it with her own money to make sure every student got to take a book home. I wouldn't have had any books of my own if it weren't for her."
-- banhbohap
Don't Fight Nature
"Told us a joke about his name (before we could) and allowed us to eat during his classes 'because kids your age can't help being hungry all the time,' as long as we did it quietly."
"Great guy. His whole attitude made all of us actually pay attention and do our best."
Creating Community
"I had a physical education teacher who organised basketball, volleyball, handball and football tournaments, organised 'olympic games' for the local kids and taught us dancing on weekends."
"On his own. Just for us kids, because we lived in a remote place without many activities and things going on. He was more than a simple teacher."
-- remote_peach
Dedicating Time and Attention
"A math teacher went to the hospital several times to visit a student who had been seriously injured in an accident."
"The teacher offered companionship, free tutoring, and genuine encouragement."
-- Back2Bach
Showing Generosity and Doing it With Subtlety
"When I was a kid we had to purchase these red punch cards to get lunch at school."
"Unfortunately we didn't have that much money so there were times where my punch card would run out and I wasn't able to eat for a while until we got enough money to repurchase another one (why nobody in my family applied for assistance was beyond me)."
"I had one teacher who noticed I wasn't eating every day and she would bring an extra sandwich and offer it to me whenever she saw that. I really didn't understand how kind that was when I was a kid but obviously as an adult That was such an amazing gesture of kindness."
A Few Words That Spoke Volumes
"I moved out of home during high school. It was stressful, to say the least. I started to fall behind in assignments, I would be absent for days at time, I missed tests etc."
"I ended up explaining the bare minimum of my situation to my English teacher, and their response always stuck with me."
"'Just do what you can.'"
"It may not seem like much, but right then and there, for sixteen year old kid who felt like simply living was a burden... it was everything."
-- jodehleh
And of course, we cannot forget the teachers who were exceptionally good, well, teachers. These educators deliberately made sure they did all they could to mentor kids and expand their minds.
Sometimes that meant taking a less conventional route, or even being open to confrontation.
Tough Lessons
"Not take my sh**. I was a pretty decent writer in school; able to pop stuff out pretty quickly that was superficial but sounded good."
"The first time I had a teacher hand my work back pointing out that I managed to compellingly fail to say anything was sort of a slap in the face that I didn't realize I needed."
Focused on the Priority
"math teacher : 'I don't care if you have good grades or bad grades, if you work hard, I will work harder to make you pass.' "
"He worked hard for me; I passed ..."
-- Thesorus
A Mature, Level-Headed Discussion
"Junior year of high school, English class. We were discussing a story we had read. One student (let's call him Carl,) made a point. The teacher was dismissive and basically said Carl was wrong."
"The next day, after we took our seats the teacher said, 'Before we begin, I was thinking about what Carl said yesterday. I was wrong to dismiss it so quickly. Let's take a look at that again.'"
"He then went on to repeat Carl's point and initiate a conversation with the entire class. After the conversation, it became apparent Carl's point was indeed off base, but I was impressed the teacher publicly owned his mistake and went down the path he should have."
-- Andreas_NYC
Just So Attentive
"I went to a small charter school for middle school. Our English/literature teacher was brand new to teaching, if I remember correctly she was only 22 which seemed old at the time. She always did her best to be so cheerful and make learning fun."
"But the thing that truly solidified her spot as my favorite teacher was that for every student's birthday she would give you a personalized mini notebook."
"It was just a simple small composition notebook but she had filled the first couple pages telling me how much she loved having me as a student, how far she knew I would go, and other affirmations."
"It seems small but as a 13 year old who had a crappy home life it made all the difference in how I acted the rest of the year."
Hook, Line, and Sinker
"Instead of shouting at my loud class for not shutting up before the lesson began, my history teacher decided to quietly tell the story of a pink elephant that wanted to be an astronaut."
"After a few seconds, people started to shut up and listen about the pink elephant. When everyone was quiet and listening, he stopped mid-story."
"As much as it made me respect him.. WHY DIDN'T YOU FINISH THE STORY FFS! THAT CLIFFHANGER!"
-- Cae1us
The Long View
"This will probably get lost, but I want to shout out this teacher of mine. She was our AP English Language teacher for our senior year of high school. On one of the first days in her class, she explained how she went from being a kindergarten teacher to a high school senior teacher."
"She always saw off her cute and happy kindergarten kids, but as they grew up and they came back to visit her, a lot of them came to her troubled and dissatisfied with their lives."
"It made her real emotional about how people had treated these kids she loved so much, how she couldn't afford to see kids so disconnected with life, and how she didn't want them to suffer as they headed out towards college and their adult lives."
"So she changed curriculums and started teaching seniors. If I remember right, it always came down to sending her kids off with a smile, prepping them for the real world."
"I respect the hell out of her and she'll always be one of my favorites. Truly like a mother to all her students."
-- NuluProton
So think back to the handful of teachers you remember from your time in school. There are probably a few mean ones, but plenty of great ones too.
What made them great? What was the moment you knew it?
People Confess The Reasons They Had To Cut All Ties With A Friend
Reddit user Duemont6 asked: 'What's something a friend did that made you end your friendship with them?'
Everyone has disagreed with their friends, even their best friend, at least once in their life.
Sometimes these disagreements might even lead to arguments or fights.
Of course, the sign of a true friendship is the ability to forgive and forget, and if all is not necessarily forgotten, it eventually becomes water under the bridge.
Sadly, this isn't the case for everyone, as sometimes words are said, or incidents occur that are difficult, if not impossible, to forgive and recover from.
Bringing even the closest friendships to an effective end.
Redditor Duemont62 was curious to hear what led people to cut one or more of their closest friends out of their lives, leading them to ask:
"What's something a friend did that made you end your friendship with them?"
Meow!
"She was a cat hoarder and when I talked her into giving up 20 she said that would help making space for the fall litters (outdoor feral)."
"I gave up."
"She had 120 cats inside her house."- MeowMix24
Not Even The Tiniest Gesture...
"I was run over by a drunk driver years back."
"Died temporarily and had to be revived at the hospital."
"Both my brothers told my best friend of over 20 years what happened."
"Not once did he reach out to see how I was or ask if I was ok or wished me well."
"I was hurt by it, but tried to make some sort of sense of it, like maybe he just didn’t know what to say or he was shocked by the news or he wanted to give me space to recover."
"Months later I’m home but still in crutches and can barely move without a great deal of pain."
"Reached out to my friend on the phone, talked a bit and asked if he felt like coming over to watch a movie, play some games and just hang out."
"I was lonely and missed him."
"He seemed enthused but asked if I could WALK to his house in December on icy roads barely able to hobble around on crutches to hang out there instead."
"He lived 0.2 miles from me and couldn’t drive or walk the roughly 5 minutes to my house."
"I stopped talking to him shortly after."- MitchConnor555
Victim Of The Bottle
"I had one where the guy was a horrendous drunk."
"Super sensitive to alcohol and would very easily slip into blackout status."
"When he would get drunk, he just wanted to f*ck with people and be a sh*t disturber."
"One night he was pretty drunk and we didn't feel like f*cking with with so we went out without him."
"We come home around 11 that night and he had a bunch of sketchy people in our house that we're also obnoxiously drunk."
"He was almost passed out on the couch after he had burned a huge hole in our carpet after going into my room and getting my hookah setup."
"I go upstairs and there are just random people I had never met just chilling out in the random bedrooms."
"Some people smoking weed on my bed."
"One random drunk guy was screaming at someone on the phone and gave the person on the phone our address and told them to bring everyone over."
"We kicked everyone out which of course was a huge scene and conflict."
"We booted the guy out the next day."
"Haven't talked to him since"- PutinBoomedMe
When People Refuse To Change...
"Maybe not anything dramatic but my best friend from university came back to visit his parents who live in the same city as me and we wanted to have dinner."
"I knew he was super flakey in university, so I made sure I kept my week open because I knew he wouldn't know when he was available until the last minute."
"I was so excited to introduce him to my fiancé and show him our new house."
"We got everything for a really nice dinner."
"The day before we had planned to have dinner, he texted me that he didn't feel like driving over from his parent's house (30 min) the next day because 'he might be tired'."
"I was mad that he was flaking on such important plans, but I offered to bring all the stuff for dinner and drive out to him instead."
"He said, 'No thanks'."
"I realized that he really didn't care about anything that was going on in my life and was still as immature as he had been in university."
"I decided it wasn't a friendship I wanted to maintain anymore."- kitskill
It Was All Fine Till SHE Came Along...
"He married a girl who is incredibly hard to get along with and turned into a robot."- Gua_Bao
Warped Priorities...
"Friends for over a decade."
"I was her maid of honor."
"She had 3 children with her husband, whom I was also very good friends with."
"I was very close with the kids, they called me auntie."
"I worked for her out of a home office."
"Watched the marriage deteriorate."
"She started a relationship with one of her clients after the marriage ended."
"She then started to treat her children like a burden."
"The new relationship was (and still is, to the best of my knowledge) more important than her children."
"When someone starts to severely neglect their children for a new exciting f*ck boy, I have to walk away."- redrainbow76
Friends Don't Take Advantage Of Other Friends...
"They were using me for free rent and as a scapegoat."- Chicago_Synth_Nerd_
The Green Eyed Monster...
"After talking to a guy I liked, we found out my 'best friend' was telling both of us that the other person didn't like us/found us annoying."
"He would ask her to invite me to parties, and she'd tell him I couldn't come, or that I said no and that he annoyed me."
"She'd tell me that he didn't invite me because he thought I was annoying."
"All because she liked him but wouldn't admit it to anyone."
"When we finally realized, we got together and stopped being friends with her."
"We've been together for 11 years now!"- horton_hears_a_homie
Not There When You Needed Them...
"The last straw: showing me no support when my dad passed away."- didyoubutterthepan
What Goes Around Comes Around...
"My best friend of 10 years and her husband had a falling out with my brother because my brother chose to stay out of a situation they were having with someone else, another mutual friend of ours."
"He didn’t wanna get involved."
"I agreed he shouldn’t get involved."
"They got so nasty and bitter about it all over time, and ended up lying to my brothers new wife and told her he cheated on her with one of our other friends."
"I knew this not to be true at all."
"They continued to make up stories and lie to her about him and it eventually destroyed their marriage because it created mistrust and conflict."
"His wife already had a lot of mental health struggles and it made it worse for her."
"They eventually divorced."
"I cut them out of my life."
"Since then, they have apologized and admitted to making up all the stories out of hurt and bitterness that my brother wouldn’t take their side in the conflict they were having with someone else, but it is all just too late."
"My brothers marriage was destroyed and so was our friendship."
"No coming back from that."
"By the way, my brother didn’t get involved because they were the ones in the wrong and if he told them that, imagine how much worse their revenge would be!"
"They’re unhinged."
"And their own marriage has since fallen apart."
"Karma."- NachosandMargaritas
Some might say that any true friendship is salveagable.
Leading one to wonder if any friend you found yourself cutting out of your life completely was ever a real friend at all.
People Share The Best Advice For Someone Starting Their First Job
Starting your first job is always nerve-wracking. The start of anything new usually is. That's why it's helpful to get some advice.
Before I started my first job, a friend of mine told me that there were a lot of things I should be willing to do in order to become indispensable, but one thing I should never do is give up lunch.
Even if it's a busy day and everyone is working through lunch, take five minutes to buy something at the deli next door or pop something in the microwave. You will not do your best work if you do not eat a meal.
I was very glad to get that advice, and it was something I always followed.
I also followed my own personal rule of writing down the process to do anything at work, even if it was as simple as where to look for a particular file. Anytime I thought 'oh, I'll remember,' I ended up having to ask again. It's always better to write it down so you not only know how to do it, but are the one that people come to when they need to know how to do it.
I'm not the only one that has good advice for someone starting their first job. Redditors are full of advice and are ready to share.
It all started when Redditor CampDreamy asked:
"What advice would you give someone starting their first job?"
Think Positive
"95% of success is showing up on-time and not having a bad attitude."
– Firebolt164
"There’s a quote that goes something like: you don’t need an advanced degree to show up on time, work hard, and have a positive attitude."
"I basically used this as my mantra as I built my career (and still do)."
– tyrannosean
"This has been my experience in my first ~5 years of employment. Being someone that people enjoy interacting with, sticking to deadlines, and broadly trying to make lives easier rather than harder will get you pretty close to the top, and it’s a lot easier than working overtime every day."
– 2catsinatrenchcoat
"Yep, when I was younger I always thought that just showing up on time, being a decent person to work with, and doing a good job were the bare minimum that everyone did....I learned later that this will put you above approximately 90% of your co-workers."
– raoulduke212
Sound Advice
"Poop on company time."
– 1320Fastback
"Well, sh*t."
– CampDreamy
"Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime. That's why I poop on company time."
– mrselfdestruct066
Everyone Makes Mistakes
"Don't worry about f**king up. You're going to f**k up. We all f**k up. Constantly."
"Learn from it when you f**k it up so you do it better next time and you'll be the best employee in any job."
– MaximumZer0
"And when (not if) you f**k up, own up to it, and do your best to fix it. It's way easier to fix a mistake when it first happens than 3 weeks or even hours down the line. This applies to basically any field."
– super5aj123
Gossip Girl
"Listen to gossip if you want, but never spread it."
– GamerMomLife
"Yep. I worked in a private pool snack bar kitchen last summer, and nearly all of my coworkers were high school girls. The amount of sh*t they talked on each other was insane, but I just tried my best to not get involved. It never became anything other than sh*t-talking, but it's just a good idea in general to keep your head down."
– super5aj123
"I work in a kitchen with majority middle-aged women, and it's simular to what you described."
– DeadStar800
Do It All
"If they tell you to sweep, just sweep. You still make the same amount. Unless you’re an MD or something else, in that case you’re f**ked!"
– PublicEnema11
"A programmer consultant I knew in the 90s lived by the motto "it all pays the same.""
"You want him to spend his $50/hr time doing things that an unpaid intern could handle? Sounds like an easy day."
– Cacafuego
(Don't) Let It Burn, Burn, Burn
"Don’t burn bridges if you quit or get fired."
– kbrown423
""Never cut what you can untie.""
"- Robert Frost"
– sophistt_
It's All Public
"Assume everybody in the company plus clients will read every email you send."
– CouchieWouchie
"Yeah this is genuinely a great rule that will save your @ss. Write every email as if it will be read by the whole org."
– FrungyLeague
"Also speak as though anything you say is being recorded."
– squished_frog
Protect Yourself
"Document EVERYTHING. Every time punch. Every direction from your supervisor."
– DejectedDonut
"Do this if you are working outside your duties/responsibilities as well, or directed to do things. You want a paper trail of why you did what you did if something screwy happens."
"Ideally, the work place should concentrate on policy, protocol, training, engineering and admin controls and such... but well stuff isnt always ideal."
– Zech08
Work Friends
"You're going to feel tempted to make strong relationships with your coworkers - but remember that you shouldn't share with anyone what you wouldn't want known by everyone. You may think you can trust someone, but you should have a bit of caution."
"A lot of work relationships feel a bit like a friendship, but they are not. If they move on, or you do, it is rare that you will stay in touch. Accept it for what it is."
– Mobtor
Education
"Take advantage of tuition reimbursement to get degrees/certifications that will benefit your career and don't worry about "owing" the company for it."
"Many industries have pretty generous tuition reimbursement programs where they cover your school but you owe them time after they cut those checks. A typical program might have a requirement that if you leave the company you need to pay back anything they had paid out in the last two years."
"The thing is that you want to leverage that degree for a salary jump and the current company won't give it to you because they have you "locked" in now, right?"
"So you interview for your next job and when that company gives you an offer you explain that you're on the hook for the tuition reimbursement at your old company "and since you will be getting the benefit of that education I will need a signing bonus to cover my financial obligation to my current employer.""
"Keep in mind that the signing bonus will be taxable income so you need to shoot for an amount that will have taxes taken out and leave what you need to pay back the tuition."
"I've known too many people who didn't get a degree that could have really helped them but they didn't want to be "on the hook" to their employer. I even know one guy who spent close to $30k out of his own pocket to get a master's degree because he didn't want to "be stuck here" when he was done."
– tacknosaddle
The Little Moments Matter
"Don’t miss any major life events (or the major life events of close family/friends) for work. You might feel pressure from your employer not to take the time off."
"The family/friends will still be around for many years, the first job probably won’t."
– mxxiestorc
Learn To Save
"Pension! Pension! Pension!"
"Put as much as you can afford to into your pension. Retirement might seem a lifetime away but the sooner you save for it the sooner you can achieve it."
– Grayzo
Money, Money, Money
"Pack a lunch! Eating out can put a huge dent in your paycheck!"
– awileycat
"Can't stress this enough. For the price of eating out unhealthy food for 1 day you can usually pack healthier lunch for 2-3 days."
– QuantumExileMusic
Oh, yes! I found out about that last one the hard way...and still haven't learned!
Just the other evening, I was walking home, and I barely survived.
I tripped on a dead tree branch.
The next thing I knew, I was flying in the air and landing on my back.
My belongings were strewn about.
And my to-go burger was dead.
A simple walk.
A simple dead branch.
And almost lights out.
Redditor Typical_XJW wanted to hear about the times people eluded death, so they asked:
"How did you almost die?"
Don't even get me started on any and every car ride.
We're always moments from the end on highways.
Back in the Day...
Hunger Games Student GIFGiphy"Almost drowned when I was 5 or 6, been hospitalized twice for sepsis between 2016 and 2019, and had a stroke this year. I'm 29."
ChristmasKid88
On the Disk
"MRSA infection in the disk on my lower spine between L5 and S1. Showed up two days after a cortisone shot but the hospital said it was from something else. Was in hospital 25 days multiple emergency surgeries."
EatA**FromBack
"I worked for a doctor who did these in-house and other procedures, and it 100% made me not trust medical facilities, cleanliness, and sterilization procedures. Had about twenty patients all come down with the same gut infection, 'coincidentally,' the same patients who came in for endoscopy procedures the same day."
dimlylit_
Saved
"Saving a younger friend from drowning, he panicked and almost took me out."
loztriforce
"Had that happen with a younger cousin when we were kids. His brother and I went to save him, he climbed on both of us and pushed us under. Lifeguard didn’t even see us until he pulled younger cousin out of the water, then we popped up gasping for air."
coffeejunki
Shucked
"16-year-old farm kid me, stepdad told me to go pick up a load of corn seed for planting. I had gone with him many times before, and driven the truck (full ton dually diesel) and hauled light stuff with it. Nobody told me how different it is to haul 10,000 lbs of seed on a big flatbed trailer on gravel. I had a lot of common sense and was driving slowly and carefully."
"Still… 10,000+ lbs pushed me down a gravel hill skidding, praying to god I stopped before the stop sign at the T intersection to a busy highway. I came to a grinding halt JUST as the front of the truck crossed the plane where the gravel turned to asphalt. A semi was coming from one direction and regular cars from the other. I shudder thinking about what if on that one. Don’t let untrained kids tow potentially deadly, heavy trailers, with zero training."
datnetcoder
Finding Tracks
College Sports Sport GIF by Sealed With A GIFGiphy"Was backwoods camping in Yellowstone and if I hadn’t considered for 30 seconds if I REALLY needed to get up and go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, I would have walked out of my tent headfirst into a brown bear, which I heard before leaving and found tracks of next to my tent in the morning. Spookiest moment of my life in hindsight."
danvo5
Bears are a no go for me.
Camping is an even bigger HECK NO!!
Several Strikes
Reassuring Jimmy Fallon GIF by The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy FallonGiphy"Twice. 1. Woke up to my apartment on fire."
"2. Hit head-on by a drunk driver on a small bus, just after everyone got off bus exploded."
lizard_king0000
Oh Barb
"Lmao okay, so I was getting my teeth cleaned, and I got nitrous oxide because I have so many exposed roots. Well, my hygienist at the time was this lovely lady from Minnesota. Kinda flaky, but super sweet, and talked about her family all the time. So I'm in the chair and she hooks up my mask, and away we go. I actually fell asleep! Except not so much."
"Turns out Barb had forgotten to turn the oxygen on and had been feeding me straight nitrous. She only noticed because I started gasping for air while unconscious. So that's how I almost died at the dentist. I never saw Barb again, but I tell you, that was the best nap of my life!"
CharismaticAlbino
Climb Up
"I was snorkeling. I had my other stuff stored on a rock by the water, about 3 meters high. When I got out, I decided to climb straight up. Almost at the top, the rock I was hoisting myself up on came off and I fell back first onto the coral. If a friendly wave hadn’t come in, I would have broken my back, at least."
Yugan-Dali
Blood Loss
"I was diagnosed with a rare fatal blood disorder from birth, doctors projected I’d live till about 6 and then die from massive blood loss. As this was the mid-90s, they tested the idea of using stem cells from my sibling's umbilical cord; administering the first successful stem cell transplant from a sibling donor and I’m still here to tell the tale!"
Material_Cry1697
These were some tremendously close calls.
Do you have any near-death experiences to share? Let us know in the comment below.
People Who Cheated On Someone Break Down Why They Really Did It
When it comes to the dating scene, most of us have a pretty low opinion of people who choose to cheat on their partners, not to mention serial cheaters.
But that doesn't seem to stop some people from doing the deed.
Curious, Redditor miaah214 asked:
"People who have cheated before, why did you do it?"
Revenge Cheat
"He cheated first, and I was young, petty, and thought revenge would make me feel better."
- Witch_on_a_moped
Immature and Selfish
"Unbridled ego, unsatisfying regular sex life, and a girl who threw herself at me."
"I was an idi*t, I acted like an a**hole, and I will regret it for the rest of my life."
"It was a hard truth to face. It was a dark time in my life where my ego and my immaturity caused me to hurt several people I loved."
"Fortunately, I learned from it, and while I can't take back the pain I caused, at least now I know that I am 100% capable of being an a**hole and so can choose not to be one."
- Seba_King
Insecurity
"Insecurity. I was always on the lookout for someone who would make me feel more desirable than the last. It was a serious youthful lack of judgment."
"Once I grew up emotionally, I realized what a piece of s**t I was and the hurt I caused. Hard to live with, to be honest."
- Penfold_for_PM
Just Desire
"100% pure lust. That’s it. I’m not proud of it."
- mydepressingpoems
Lots of Options
"Willing partners. It was amazing how many times when I did have a steady girlfriend that I would suddenly get propositioned by random women or worse yet, my girlfriend's friends or sisters."
"Too many times to be a fluke."
"It was like they figured if you are in a relationship, you're worth pursuing."
"But when I was single, most times I couldn't get a woman's attention."
"So it was an ego boost, but ultimately, I decided to be a better person, and I met a person who I truly thought was 'the one.'"
"And to a certain extent I did, it just didn't last through no fault of my own."
- Patient-Quarter-1684
In Need of Validation
"When you grow up being in turn neglected and told you're not good enough, validation is like a drug, and intimacy is the ultimate validation."
"Sooooo much therapy to undo this."
- RowhammerBitflip
"This. I’m just recently realizing how I didn’t receive enough attention and validation from my parents and how much it’s influenced my choices. Meeting someone and having them be into me physically is the easiest validation boost I can find."
"People who grew up with parents actually interested in them and with an instilled sense of self-confidence don’t know how good they have it."
"I don’t inherently feel important or relevant so I’m always looking for someone to tell me otherwise."
- tellitothemoon
The Thrill of It
"Because I was a f**king a**hole 20-year-old who only thought of himself and getting some action. The high of it."
"I'm 37 now. No cheating since then."
- Temporary_Fault6402
The Real Joy
"My ex was done in the bedroom and even said they were no longer interested in me physically or sexually."
"I should have left at that point, but with kids and the financial hit of divorce, I just looked to fulfill that need."
"I later divorced, and it was a big financial hit, but oh my god, what a relief it was getting out. Getting out of an abusive relationship is where the true pleasure comes from."
- loomdog1
In Need of Attention
"My partner cheated on me shortly after I had his baby. I wanted to leave, but I convinced myself to stay. The logistics of having a baby and 24-hour care are challenging on your own. He refused to have sex with me."
"At some point, someone got me in a weak spot. Somewhere between exhaustion, low self-esteem, and the sheer opportunity of having an orgasm were too strong for me. I’m deeply ashamed."
"Shortly after I picked myself up, the relationship ended. I should have left sooner."
"Someone telling you that you are beautiful, talented, and special after being invisible can feel like a drug. I don’t expect sympathy from anyone for my actions. But I do have a lot of sympathy for others now."
- throwawaythrowyellow
The Easier Option
"Because I chose a cowardly and easy path. Instead of going to therapy and ending my toxic relationship, I cheated on them with someone who I had convinced myself I was in love with and loved me."
"As it turns out, breaking up with someone is a lot less harmful to everyone involved than cheating."
- dodongosbongos
Devastating Choices
"Not me, but a guy friend cheated and the reason he gave was that he loved his fiancée but they had very different sex drives."
"He also said that when he brought it up to her (the difference in their sex drives and the problems it would cause) she begged him not to leave and insisted it wouldn’t be an issue."
"He told her it already WAS an issue and, as a last resort, she said she would understand if SOME DAY he felt the need to look elsewhere…just as long as she never found out."
"The girl admitted to saying all this but explained that she would have said anything for them to stay together in that moment, she didn’t think he’d actually be 'f**ked up enough to cheat' and she never imagined he would do it so soon."
- Dramiotic
The Perfect Combination
"A perfect storm of poor impulse control, untreated mental illness, and boredom."
"People on the moral high ground will tell you not to cheat for reasons like morality and integrity; from the moral low ground, I can tell you that the lifelong guilt, shame, and remorse are not worth it."
- LowCarbBeesechussy
Emotionally Done
"Because the relationship was done and I was already moving on emotionally. I just didn't care about her enough to care whether she was hurt or not. Honestly, in hindsight, I have zero idea why we were still together. It DID make the eventual breakup a lot messier."
"I was young and it taught me an important lesson. If you're done, just be done and leave. There's no point in dragging it out. If you're ready to start looking for another relationship, start by ending the relationship you're already in."
- codefyre
Ready to Make Up for It
"I had a perceived lack of affection. I felt ugly and disgusting and like I was just an emotional tampon."
"I would never do it again. In therapy, I learned a lot about the reasons I did what I did and in all honesty, if she would even entertain the idea of trying again, I’d spend every day making up for it and making sure she felt more love then can be imagined."
"I’m currently fulfilling into the man I know I can be. I just wish it took a more positive trigger in order to start that for me."
- Anthonys455
Let's end it -- the article, that is -- on a lighter note.
The Worst Kind of Cheating
"My wife wasn’t around. The house was empty."
"I couldn’t wait for her to get home, so I watched the next episode without her knowing."
"Honey, if you’re reading this… I’m so sorry."
- six6sickx
"You're a monster."
- Efficient_Ad_8367
It's so hard to imagine what's going on inside someone else's head or why they might choose to do the things that they do, especially if it's something we don't agree with.
It's at least heartening to see that many of these Redditors used these experiences as learning opportunities and have since gone on to treat the most treasured people in their lives a little differently.