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Students Recall The Dumbest Thing They've Ever Gotten In Trouble For

Students Recall The Dumbest Thing They've Ever Gotten In Trouble For
Image by 潜辉 韦 from Pixabay

All of these teachers clearly arrived to school after getting a speeding ticket, getting dumped, or getting too hungover.

These poor whipper snappers felt the wrath.

It's strange to think about all those times a teacher freaked out for something that made absolutely no sense to freak out about.

You're sitting there, a 7 year old kid still in the process of understanding the rules of your reality. Then this adult--the authority on everything ever up to this point--comes along and vents because of a bad day. But that venting results in you growing up with the full conviction that, say, playing cards during lunch is a profoundly immoral act.

But, my friend, you are in good company.

u/Lmaosfh asked, "What's the dumbest thing you ever got in trouble for at school?"

Make it Snappy, You Twerp

I got yelled at for blowing my nose for too long



The Right to Assemble

I sang happy birthday with a whole bunch of my friends to someone at lunch and we were to split up because it was "inappropriate."


The Avant-Garde

In the same year i learned to write, i got in trouble for showing my teacher i could write upside down while not looking. I was super Proud of it for some reason, but i guess i was not taking my writing seriously



One False Move Is All It Takes

We would get class posters in school. Same pictures that would end up in your yearbook photos. They came in these little cardboard tubes and also had a rubber band around it.

As I was taking off the rubber band, I accidentally let go of it and it flung across the classroom. Instant Saturday school detention for "flicking rubber bands at students".



I got yelled at for not saying "good morning" back to another teacher.



I'm in the middle of science class and we're supposed to be doing some quiet activity sheet, so I raise my hand to ask to use the bathroom. the teacher is a harda** and says that I should have gone during break between class. I said to her, no really I'm about to vomit, she infers that I'm lying and that I need to get back to work on my sheet. So I walked up to her, handed her the competed activity sheet, and threw up on her lap.

she calls security and tells them I intentionally assaulted her with vomit. I was suspend for 2 days and my parents had to threaten legal action against the school district to get the suspension reversed. Turns out I had the norovirus.


The Old Bait and Switch

My mate was meant to get into trouble over something I did, I told the teacher I did it, she extended his for some reason. I never got one for it


Cuff Em

Plagiarism. I didn't use the correct MLA format two years before we learned about it, and was chewed out as if I had claimed I wrote the Magna Carta.




We had to sculpt a clay bust, then glaze and fire it. I made mine a black man. I had to go explain to the principal why I made mine black and a letter went home. I'm white, no black kids went to the school. This was fifth grade, I had/have no idea why it was an issue and neither did my family.


A Real Wordsmith Over Here

We were reading a Shakespeare play in HS English at a private school. The teacher asked if anyone knew what a line meant, where a character is talking about a pen as if it were a penis. When she asked, whole class said "penis" and I said "wang."

I got a detention for using 'inappropriate language,' because I didn't use the clinical term.



Silence, Children!

In primary school we weren't allowed to talk during lunch. Go fu**ing figure why but people who did had to go stand in the corner until the others were finished. I had to go too.


Groove or Face the Consequences

I almost got kicked out of prom for "being drunk", simply because I didn't want to dance. I was sitting at the table watching everyone else's stuff and three staff members dragged me outside to ask me how much I had to drink that day.


Immediate Karma

Was sick and ask to go to the bathroom. Teacher said no. I vomited in her trash can. She tried to get me expelled. I can still hear my dad laughing in the principals office


No Exploring!

I got a letter sent home and yelled at and humiliated in front of the entire class because... I climbed on top of a pile of snow.



The cameras "caught me poking holes in the back of a school bus seat" on the same day my mother got a call from the school saying I had missed too many days of school while sick... which was received because I missed that day.

Long story short, I shared the seat with a goodie two-shoes kid and they just automatically pushed the blame on me because I was a bit of a brat.



I'd Have to Pee So Bad in a Game Like That

We weren't allowed to run or play games on the play structures. One time we got in trouble for playing hide and seek and they made us go play it in the field. We only had one tree so it was a pretty shi**y game of hide and seek.



What Scarcity Brings

Back when I was in hs my school banned salt. So I literally had to smuggle salt to breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Kids were also selling it. It was ridiculous.


You'll Never Get a 1950s Office Job If You Keep This Up

Hitting the space bar with the wrong thumb during typing class.



Sometimes, those that grow up rich or sheltered have no idea how the real world works. Sometimes they’re willfully ignorant, and other times, they genuinely have no clue. Whatever the circumstances, these Redditors tell stories of when they met people who needed a real wake-up call.

1. Gimme My Privacy

My dad collects coins because his extremely Hungarian immigrant grandfather convinced him that all banks are determined to steal all his money from him, so he has to have a backup plan.

This in and of itself isn't too extreme; plenty of people choose self-sustenance due to a distrust in government and economics—but the real kicker happened when he tried to roll his coins.

He has to order his coin rolls online because he doesn't want to go to the bank and get coin rolls. That’s because then the bank will know how much money he's hiding from them. I'm not kidding. Anyway, he ordered a bag of coin rolls and waited about a month for them to come before he started getting curious about where they were.

He asked my mom to check the order tracking while he was at work one day, which led to this conversation: “It says here that the package made it to our town two weeks ago, but got sent back. It says you gave no delivery address”. My dad responds, “Yeah, why would I do that? I don't want them to know where I live, they might tell everyone”.


2. All The Free Food!

When I was a kid, I was on the swim team at an athletic club in a primarily rich area, with us being middle/lower class. The athletic club had a grill and I saw people all day going up and getting food just by showing their access card. I asked them what they did, and they said, "Just scan your access card and you get food”.

Of course, in my mind, that meant it was complimentary. So, I started getting all sorts of food and snacks: frozen yogurt, Slurpees, chicken fingers, cheese fries, smoothies, etc.

Come the end of the month, my parents get our membership bill and start freaking out. I didn't hear the beginning of the conversation, and walk in just in time for them to wonder where all these food charges came from.

I, in my naivety, said "I got all that food but it's free right?" They told me it all had to be paid for. When I asked the other kids, they all said, "No way, it's free, I never have to pay”. Turns out their parents were just so loaded they didn't care what the bill was it just got paid and they ate whatever they wanted, however much.

It was around that time I realized just how "out of class" I was compared to them.


3. Book Smarts

man in gray suit jacket holding white ipadPhoto by Usman Yousaf on Unsplash

I once had a university professor who was absolutely brilliant knowledge of middle eastern politics, particularly around the Israel-Palestine conflict. He could remember insanely precise historical details going back thousands of years and seemed to understand the subtlest of nuances on both sides of the conflict. His lectures were amazing.

Or they would have been if he had turned off his cell phone. He simply couldn't figure out how to silence his phone, or even turn it on and off. He had let his TA do it for him a couple of times, but then he'd leave with it still off and couldn't figure out how to turn it back on until he came back the next day, so after going through that twice, he decided he would just leave it on.

And it appeared that every telemarketer on earth had his number, because it would ring at least five times an hour at full volume, and he'd just talk over the top of it like it wasn't happening.

He also never answered his email, because he apparently didn't realize that he had one or might need to use it. One day he'd forgotten to bring his little water jug and sent his TA to the vending machine in the middle of a lecture to bring him a bottle of water.

She brought it back and handed it to him, and he turned red in the face trying to get it open, before handing it back to her and declaring that something was wrong with it.

She opened it quickly and easily: he'd been turning the cap the wrong way.


4. Paycheck-To-Paycheck

My company is switching its non-exempt employees from a bi-monthly pay schedule to a bi-weekly pay schedule. Because of the reduction in per-paycheck pay, payroll is offering a one-time advance payment of the third paycheck in the upcoming three-paycheck month so that employees who live on a tight budget can divvy that up for bills or payments or whatever to transition to the impact of their new paycheck being slightly reduced.

You have to notify payroll if you want to take this option. One manager couldn't wrap their head around the existence of people living paycheck-to-paycheck. His ignorance was unbelievable. He asked, "Couldn't they make more money? Couldn't they learn to save?"

Problem solved, duh. Funny thing is his nanny is quitting because they aren't paying her enough, and the cost of living here is too high.


5. First-World Problems

I live in London as a welfare rep for American students. Knowing that American college costs a bundle, and the program to come over costs a load too, these students tend to be the richest and whitest of suburbia. One day, the Wi-Fi went down, and I may as well have told them that there was no drinking water in the U.K.

About 40 students were knocking on my door telling me it wasn't acceptable and that they were calling their 'daddies' to sort it out. They said things like, "My daddy is a lawyer, so if you think you're getting money for this accommodation when I haven't had Wi-Fi you've got another thing coming”.

I tried to calm them down, let them know it would be back on in an hour or two when one of them said the following line: "You can't blame us for being upset, we grew up in 'THE FIRST WORLD”. I was flabbergasted.

Not only did she talk about being from 'the first world' like that is something to be proud of, but her entire argument was that “Everything in my life has always been easy and perfect... how dare you take away the most minor of utilities for three hours?!”


6. Drive Thru Trouble

a close up of a mcdonald's sign on a buildingPhoto by Janet Ganbold on Unsplash

I was 15 and working at McDonalds. I was at the back window where you take people’s money. A customer came and blew past the back speaker where you order. That was pretty typical, so I figured it was just a normal mistake. When they get to my window, I see that it is this very old lady.

She smiles at me and holds a grocery bag up with frozen chicken and two liters of soda. She holds out a 20$ bill and asks, "How much for the chicken and soda?"

15-year-old me didn't have the coping skills for this. I stared at her for what felt like forever. Finally, I said, "Uh, I think you're confused". She drove off, with her car halfway over the curb.


7. Counting The Cents

About three years ago, I had a young woman, probably early 20s, come into the cafe I work at. She ordered herself a drink and a pastry of some sort. Her total was around $6. She proceeded to hand me a 1-dollar bill and 6 quarters. I took the money and waited for her to procure more, but she just stood there staring at me. I told her, "I'm sorry, it's $6.87”.

She says, "I know, I gave you 7”. I said, "No, this is only $2.25”. She took the money from my hand and counted each item in front of me like I was an idiot, counting each item as $1. I pointed to the quarters and told her, "Those are quarters, not dollars”. Keep in mind this person was obviously not foreign or anything. She had no accent and seemed completely American.

Her response was, "I know they're quarters, but they're dollars”. She then proceeded to pick up one of the quarters and point to the word "dollar" inscribed on the bottom beneath George's head. At this point I was thinking, this is the single dumbest person I've ever seen, or this is the worst con ever conceived, but she didn't give up. She demanded to speak to a manager. I got the manager, and he told her the same thing.

She started getting visibly upset and holding back tears. She might have been embarrassed.


8. What Hippies Are Hiding

I'm a jeweler/metalsmith and often work at festivals and street fairs to sell my work. My husband and I were hanging out in my tent last summer at a festival and a woman walks in, looking harmless enough.

This may also be a sign of me being a little out of touch with reality as I took in her flowing 10-yard skirt, multiple colored scarves, and wavy brown-gray hair tied back with a leather rope, and assumed she was a sweet old hippie lady.

This assumption made her next few words all the more shocking. She started off simple enough, talking about her own and admiring a few pieces, trying a few things on, and then she noticed I was pregnant. This is when the ridiculousness began.

She asked if I knew that a blood moon was coming soon and that I should stay inside my house for fear of the power of this blood moon sending me into pre-term labor and possibly resulting in a stillbirth.

She then reminded us that this next blood moon was a sign of the apocalypse, and that Jesus would be returning to Earth soon to take all the righteous to heaven.

She said that if this happened before my baby was born that I would wake up miraculously not pregnant anymore, as he would claim all innocents in his name and spirit them away to glory. She then said "And you know, of course, this is all our fault. Humans, not God's”.

She didn't notice through her diatribe that our smiles had become completely frozen, and we were hunching down more and more in our seats. I said, "Okay, well thank you!" She left. I look sideways at all sweet old hippie ladies now.


9. IT Troubleshooting

brown 4-layer bricked buildingPhoto by Sigmund on Unsplash

I was a field engineer on the construction of some very large expensive dorms at High Point University. The dorms included a three-story waterfall, sports bar, steak house, arcade, free movie theater, etc. It was very fancy.

We kept a small staff to help the university with the first student move in. The students were really pampered, but this was the worst case I remember.

One girl called for help because the power wasn't working in her dorm room. Our guys got there to troubleshoot and found that none of her stuff was plugged into the outlets! We explained that you have to plug things in for them to work.

She said, "I guess our maid must have always taken care of that”. She did not know how to plug something in! When we showed her, she still stood there expecting us to plug in all her stuff!


10. Absolutely Innocent

Years ago, when I worked fast food, a different fast-food store down the street kept getting vandalized, so they put up cameras, caught the culprits while they were doing it, and called the authorities. The culprits were two tweens. Siblings. They showed mom and dad the footage.

They insisted, "This footage is fake! Our kids are innocent!!" Yeah, because early 90s security camera footage was so easy to realistically falsify... Last we heard, the parents were trying to sue for false accusations. I'm sure the judge shut it down.


11. I Would Never!

There are a lot of older ugly apartment buildings near the house I grew up in. My friend at the time lived a very privileged lifestyle, with $200-300+ weekly weekend dinners with the family, timeshares over the place, skiing and snowboarding trips, etc. Her next comment turned me off completely: “Why would anyone want to live in these apartments? I would never”.

I told her people that who live there don't have a choice...


12. Working From Home

person holding red and white plastic containerPhoto by Meg Boulden on Unsplash

My co-worker's 17-year-old daughter had her first job interview recently. It was at a movie theatre. When she got home, her mom asked how it went. The daughter says, "I told them that I was only interested in a job that would let me work from home. That way, I can get snacks whenever I want”. I would have LOVED to have been a witness to the interviewer's expression at that moment.


13. A Clean Wipe

I remember a while back I read a post about a man who refused to wipe his bum after number two because he believed no man should have anything touch him there... I remember vividly thinking "How out of touch with reality do you have to be to have such a belief?" I am still occasionally haunted by this stranger.


14. The Family Business

I used to work at a machine shop owned and run by a family. All their kids worked there, and they were probably the most selfish, self absorbed, jaded people I've ever met.

So, the owners had a very nice house, which they let one of their children and family live in with them. Their old house was given to another child and her family. A third house was purchased and given to their last child and family.

All of these properties were being paid for by the parents, as well as all of their ~$40,000 salaries and benefits. All of the three children worked there, as well as their spouses. Also, they each had new company cars every two years. Who needs a company car when they work in an office? Also, why do they carpool together and leave some of the new cars at home everyday?

The parents are very nice people and very giving. The children and their families, however, are absolute jerks. Everyday after school all of the grandkids would come in the shop and run around, messing with things, and getting into trouble. This is a machine shop with heavy machinery constantly running! Don't let your kids shoot Nerf guns at each other while I'm running a hydraulic press!

One day at lunch, I hear two of the spouses and one of the owner's kids yelling at the owner. Like, screaming. Why, you ask? Because he didn't want to purchase season tickets three rows closer than what they had already for our local NFL team. Jaded, spoiled, jerks. Meanwhile, we non-family members are struggling to pay bills and being refused raises.


15. Just Buy A House!

man and woman sitting on chairsPhoto by Kenny Eliason on Unsplash

I was involved in a nonprofit for women in my last city maybe two years back. My ex was from a rich area of the state, and the mean income for this area was $31k. A teacher talked about how 500+ kids in her school were homeless, and how seniors would pool their money together to get a hotel for days or weeks at a time.

I remember telling my ex about it, and how awful that’s gotta be to be 17 and living with 10 others in a hotel. His reply deeply disgusted me: “They’re stupid. If they had any brains, they’d buy a house so they could get equity; the hotel is just them throwing their money away and not getting anything from it”.

He was 100% convinced that these 17-year-olds, with no addresses, who are MINORS, could apply for and qualify for a mortgage.

I fussed at him and don’t regret it, because he is so out of touch with reality. Eventually, he went on months later to say he talks down about other people and acts like he’s better than everyone because he is better than everyone.


16. Library Lessons

A friend of mine in college was absolutely shocked when I and several other friends pulled out our childhood and hometown public library cards at dinner one night. She could not fathom that all of our families went to the library regularly when we were growing up and that this is an extremely common experience for a lot of people.

When I asked her what she did when she wanted to read books growing up, she said "My family just bought them all”.


17. You’re Not Them!

On the first day of the Marketing Research class at Wharton, the professor gives everyone a questionnaire asking them a bunch of questions like, what percentage of US parents feed their kids hot dogs at least once a week, what percentage of beer is sold in stores is craft beer, etc. The students did horribly, giving answers like 2% for things that were actually 90%.

The explicit point of the exercise was this: You are not representative of Americans. Unless you're marketing to fellow top-tier MBAs, your instincts are always completely wrong, even after you try to adjust for your biases. You must learn to do and interpret marketing research or change your major to finance.


18. Continental Drift

aerial view of green and brown mountains and lakePhoto by Karsten Winegeart on Unsplash

I was 16 years old, in Driver's Ed, and the teacher asks us an extra credit question. "Why are there interstates in Hawaii? You can't drive there from any other state”. A girl in my class raised her hand and asked, "Was it because they were built before Hawaii broke off?"

This girl thought it was a possibility that Hawaii broke off, and drifted to the middle of the Pacific Ocean all in the last 50 years. The actual answer was that Hawaii has interstate because, if a highway is funded by the federal government, it's simply called an interstate.


19. Time For The Talk

When my mom was 18 or 19, she joined the military, and as soon as she was able, she moved off base into a cheap little apartment with another girl the same age that she had met in basic. One day, my mom is alone and cleaning up their place when she notices this smell coming from her roommate’s bedroom. She figures that it's old dishes or food, and goes to check it out. The room is spotless but it reeks.

My mom walks around trying to figure out where the smell is coming from. Finally, she looks under the bed and pulls out this box. It's dozens and dozens of bloody underwear. Her roommate had no clue about pads or tampons, and her mother never told her. She would just change her clothes and toss the nasty underwear under the bed. My mom had to sit down and have a talk with her.


20. Living The Life

This guy I know hit the Powerball for 150 million at age 19. He bought a little house on the river and now sits around drinking and fishing all day, every day. He has no phone, no internet, doesn't get mail, and has no way of getting any news about anything, his girlfriend left him, and the government thought he had passed till the IRS sent someone out to evaluate the property.

His parents passed two years ago, and his sister as well after complications from a hysterectomy last year, so he has no family, no friends, no job, nothing. His only living contact is his dog, the occasional person who comes by his house, and the people at the gas station up the road where he buys his bait and his drinks. He has bricks of cash in his house laying around because he just doesn't care.

He won't ever need as much as he has. I'd give him 10 years till he gets skin cancer as he sits in the sun all day.


21. Back To School

man reading in libraryPhoto by Dollar Gill on Unsplash

We were at a table, six of us, eating. The conversation turned to jobs and employment. One of the guys, a rich kid that had most of his life handed to him, including his tech job at mommy's company, commented that he didn't understand why if someone couldn't find a job, they just didn't go back to school, get a degree, and try some more.

He couldn't understand two things. One, most families cannot support an unemployed adult student for the time it takes to get a degree. Two, the jaw-dropping one, was he thought that all colleges, everywhere, were free. His 'logic' was that students go to college straight from high school and 'they don't have money' so how else could they afford school? We live in the U.S. and this guy was 27 years old!

We had to tell him that school costs money......


22. Losing The Plot

My ex-best friend became engaged to a guy that we had all been friends with before they started dating. He cheated on her with another woman while deployed. He broke off the engagement, and she lost it. I don't know if she was bipolar before this happened, but she became suicidal and went off the deep end.

She would quit taking her meds and go off on these big rants on Facebook about how they were going to be together forever.

She would take pictures of gifts he had given her and post them over and over again. Her profile picture was always of the two of them YEARS later. But here's the crazier part: By this time, the guy was married to another girl, and they had a few kids. She would go off on these rants, calling out anyone who tried to tell her to move on.

She would post rant after rant after rant, 10, 15, 20 times a day. Followed by more pictures of them together. She knew we were friends on Facebook and she would always ask me to send him messages, which I refused to do.

It got so bad that me and a group of girls who had gone to school with her reconnected, and they called her parents. Her parents said they knew that she was bipolar and not taking her meds, but in so many words told us all that "We got this, you can go away now". A few days after that, she just disappeared from FB. I haven't spoken to her in years... I hope she's okay.


23. My Precious Child

My parents have a 60lb Portuguese Water Dog that keeps biting people, like it's up to five now and they refuse to come to terms with the fact that the dog is dangerous, and they don't have the skill or the discipline to keep it in check. It's actually been really tough on the family because everyone is scared of it, and no one can reason with them.

The worst part is the dog hates children, like he flips out when he sees a kid, and recently bit a five-year-old. I'm so mad at them. They replaced their real children with a dog and instead of treating it like an animal, they act like it's their new kid. I've seriously considered alerting the authorities, but I know it'd tear my family apart... The whole thing is truly terrible.


24. Do You Know Who I Am?!

architectural photography of white aircraftPhoto by Chris Leipelt on Unsplash

I was leaving a tropical location that is frequented by celebrities and billionaires on my friend’s brand-new Bombardier Global 6000 when we pull into the loading area and see his flight crew in an all-out brawl with four other people.

Apparently, a well-known celebrity had arrived at the airport early for a chartered flight, and upon finding out it wasn't supposed to arrive for a couple of hours, tried to commander my friend’s plane thinking it was owned by the same charter company.

She had her assistants and security go and try to remove our luggage while she boarded and refused to leave. It took about 30 minutes after our arrival to finally convince her minions that they were breaking the law and they finally stopped their attempted conquest.

The celebrity, however, refused to get off the plane and demanded my friend fly her and her entourage of eight to her destination first and then continue on to ours.

They thought based on her star power that my friend would just bow to her demands. It took another 20 minutes to get the celebrity off his plane.

As our party was trying to board, we were subject to a litany of curses and insults from the celebrity and her toadies because we were "nobodies," and her time was apparently more valuable than ours.

About a week later, my friend who owns the plane received a letter from a very well-known and litigious celebrity lawyer threatening legal action if any mention or videos of the incident wound up in the tabloids.


25. Extreme Views

My dad works in the HVAC industry. He went to go fix a seemingly nice little old lady's air conditioning a few weeks ago. She fed him homemade cookies, told him stories of her grandkids, and was overall a really nice lady. Until she started talking about current events.

"Oh, can you make sure the unit is secure? I don't want the blacks to steal it, they've been so rowdy lately”. My dad just said, "Uhh, no one is going to move the unit, ma'am, it's safe,” to which she replied, "Oh, don't underestimate, they managed to get one into the White House! You know that man steals from the house all the time? I saw him selling his own desk on Craigslist!"

Of course, my dad just let her talk, and she rambled along those lines for a while. Then, when he was finished, she thanked him, and as he left in a hurry, she said, "Make sure to pay the Jew tax! They say it's the PST (provincial sales tax), but it's not!"

Just waaaaaay out there.


26. The Middle Of The Party

I was at a New Year’s Eve rave. It was nothing too crazy, but this dude is enjoying his depth and focus complications, clearly out there, then he starts chasing the laser patterns; still pretty normal, all things considered. But then, he goes from chasing the lasers on the table, to the floor.

As he's getting up, he does the most peculiar thing—he begins rubbing my belly. He doesn't see my face, but I can see the telltale signs that he is flipping out about how soft and warm this wall is, totally out of reality. Then he looks up and we make eye contact.

I swear it was five seconds of just eye contact, until he smiles, peace signs, and backs off. It was the moment of eye contact when I realized he actually thought he was touching a wall!


27. Starting The Dream Job

man in green jacket and blue denim jeans sitting on train rail during daytimePhoto by Tharoushan Kandarajah on Unsplash

I'm an expat living in Sri Lanka. Love the country, love the people... But some of them can play fast and loose with 'legality' though, which tends to happen in developing countries. Anyways, I have a guy that runs a food stall at the end of my road. Decent guy, and very well spoken... Something always seemed off though.

I finally discovered one day when chatting with him that he believes all Westerners have chips implanted in their brains that make them be controlled by the government and spy on the rest of the world.

The next time I saw him, he told me he was shutting down his food stall. He told me with a straight face that he had been thinking of business ideas. "What one job is guaranteed good money?" he asks. Without waiting for a response, he says "Doctors!"

So, he decided that he'd open a doctor's surgery and charge half the going rate for a doctor visit—despite having no medical training—because it paid better than a food stall owner.

Not only that, the guy actually did it. Within a week, his shop had a big red medical cross on it, and he was seeing very poor patients, diagnosing them with God knows what, and prescribing medicine on a random piece of paper. He was genuinely shocked after a couple of weeks when he was shut down.


28. I’m A Star!

A friend of mine met this girl while doing a play. She was tall, blonde, and almost attractive. She was one of those girls who was obsessed with being hot but just wasn't quite there. Something was off about her face. She was also set on becoming the next big actor or model and convinced that she had what it takes.

She did this unaired, never-released reality show about a swimsuit competition supposedly for the sexiest women in the world, but it was honestly a bunch of fairly average girls all with the same complex.

But because of that show that nobody has seen, she considers herself a D-list celebrity. She goes to events and takes pics with celebrities to then post and say she was hanging out with them.

She "endorses" products on her Instagram, on which she bought 90% of her 5,000 or so followers. The robots that follow her comment on her pictures with one-word comments all the time, like "sweet!" or "nice!"

She takes a million selfies, and also sometimes takes selfie videos where she addresses her "fans”. One, in particular, stands out where she told her fans she was having a contest to win a hoverboard… She also fancies herself a singer, although she is terrible, and releases videos of her singing into the camera out of key.

She released a single on iTunes that sounds nothing like her because it is autotuned, and it still manages to sound like two goats arguing.

She's also a writer—a term used loosely of course. She wrote an autobiography that she published on Amazon that you can buy for thirty dollars. She also quotes herself on her Instagram in those quote pictures things that girls like.

She even gives herself credit on IMDB for movies and things that she wasn't in, or she was just an extra in so that it looks like she's succeeding. It's like a car crash and I've never meant that more. She is the most delusional person I've ever met. I didn't believe my friend before I met her, and it's amazing.


29. What Am I Doing Wrong…?

I was in high school, I'd say probably about 12 years ago, in the weight room for my gym class. This one kid was quite muscular and not overweight but had the cardio of a walrus. After getting a miserable time on his mile run, I told him it might help if he cut down on his pack a day of smokes.

He had legitimately never even realized that it would not be good for his lungs or cardio, and I was apparently the first to make him realize it despite his being a junior or senior in high school. We all had mandatory health class to teach these things!


30. But I Don’t Get It

white and brown star on brown tree branchPhoto by David Holifield on Unsplash

This past semester, I was studying abroad, and I met people from all over the US. I met two different people, both from Virginia, and they were the nicest people. However, when I told them I was Jewish, they were completely dumbfounded.

They never met a Jew before, let alone be friends with one... I thought, "How strange," but I figured she lived in an extremely rural part of Virginia and goes to school in the South, so Jews are a rarity down there.

I also guessed that she probably has met a Jew before, but never really took note of it or didn't know, because it's not like we identify our religion every time we meet someone new. The most out-of-touch thing I heard in my life came from one of these girls.

I say, "I can't believe none of your friends are Jewish!" "I know! So do you celebrate Christmas?" I tell her, "Nope! I mean, I know some Jews do both holidays, but my family strictly follows Jewish holidays. No Easter, no Lent, etc”. She says again, "So you've never celebrated Christmas?"

"Don't get me wrong,” I say, “I love Christmas time; it's one of the jolliest times of the year. My ex celebrated Christmas and I 'celebrated' with them, but it's not like I go to mass or have a tree”.

She asks again, "So you don't celebrate it?" I say, "Not in my house, nope!" She continues asking me, "But it's Christmas, why don't you celebrate it?" I explain that "Well, Jews don't really believe in the whole ‘Jesus was the Messiah’ sort of thing”. I thought it'd end there...but things just continued to spiral.

She asks again, "But like, you don't celebrate Christmas?" And I say again, "Not in my house!" She continues, "So there's no tree in your house, you don't go to mass?"

...I swear to God, these questions persisted for a solid 10 minutes. I distinctly remember because we were standing outside the Tower of London, and I just thought it was a strange conversation.

I'm more than happy to answer questions about Judaism, what we believe in ,and why it's different, but it just felt like she couldn't wrap her head around this concept that I didn't celebrate Christmas.

Like, it was literally impossible for her to understand that Christmas is just a holiday celebrated everywhere except my house.


31. What Hard Work Gets

I grew up in Silicon Valley. In high school, kids were getting Audis, new Jeeps, "Dad's old bimmer,” etc. I mowed lawns, split firewood, worked six days a week at the hardware store, and saved up so that I could buy a truck when I was 16.

When I finally bought it, my buddies literally didn't believe that I bought it on my own and surely my father must have contributed.

It was only around $5k, but I seriously think that I was the only kid that I knew who bought his own vehicle. I drove by my old high school the other day and saw two Teslas and a few Range Rovers in the student lot.


32. Any Last Words?

My sister freaked out because my parents decided to make their will. She cried and screamed about how they were "ready to die for us" now. Didn't help that my dad has just retired and money's a little tighter than before.

But if I'm correct, I do believe most Americans make their wills when they get married, get a house, and have kids. It's generally not recommended to make your will later in life, but it's possible.

My parents are in their sixties. I'm 22. My sister is 25. I finally had to call my mom to ask her to explain the meaning of a will to my sister.


33. The Super Spoiled

woman wearing gray scoop-neck long-sleeved shirt smilingPhoto by June O on Unsplash

I've known a few "Daddy's lil’ girls" in my lifetime that had credit cards that their dad paid. To them, it was free money. They could spend as much as they wanted and never saw a bill because it went straight to dad, and he paid it.

I could see them getting older and through being coddled all their life and having everything from vehicle registration and insurance to electricity bills handled for them thinking all this stuff is free and easy, and never realizing it's because someone was basically doing it all for you.

Some of these girls’ parents lost a lot in the 2008 market crash, and they couldn't comprehend at 26-30 that suddenly they had to do things themselves. The lucky ones married rich, but I know a couple of them that still live with their parents approaching 30 because they just can't function in the real world.

It's sad, but even sadder seeing them on Facebook, still taking multiple vacations a year, posting pics of their expensive shoes and purses and fruity drinks at the bar, and knowing they can only afford this stuff because they don't have any family, mortgage, car note, or responsibility, but only have a semi-decent job as a secretary somewhere.


34. To Believe Or Not To Believe

I love it when I get shamed for using a wheelchair when I can walk. Like, yes, I still have function of my legs, but I'm in immeasurable amounts of pain after using the for too long, even just to stand still! If people ask questions because they're trying to learn, that's fine by me! I know not everyone understands this type of stuff and I don't expect them to!

But heed my warning—Don't stare at me all high and mighty and judge what you think is happening. There's also "it's all in your head". Yes, Lucinda, my mental illnesses may be there, but my body physically not working is not psychosomatic! Also, I had a "friend" one time look me right in the eye and tell me he doesn't believe I'm sick. Like, okay, thanks for being a pal, dude.


35. Please Understand

My fiancé is a doctor, I'm an engineer here and I grew up very blue collar. We still have tons of student debt to pay off before we can reap the benefits of a good salary. Her friend, a doctor who was a resident when she was in med school, was talking to us about the new house she bought, and kept asking us when we planned on moving out of our awful apartment and getting a nice big townhouse.

She couldn't comprehend that unlike her, our parents aren't rich, and they can't buy a house for us in cash, and let us pay them back interest-free. I love her to death, and she's a sweet friend we have known for a long time. She has done so much for us in terms of friendship and emotional support.

But her mom was a successful surgeon, and her dad retired early after selling his successful business.


36. You’re Just Like Me!

man in green black and yellow floral button up shirtPhoto by Taylor Deas-Melesh on Unsplash

I studied German in college with a guy who I thought was an alright dude when, one day, while out having some drinks with others in the department, he very seriously started talking about how the best way to get rid of race problems in the US was to partition the nation and separate all the races.

He kept saying stupid stuff like “It won’t be a big deal; it'll be perfectly equal” (ugh). I couldn't believe it when some others around were starting to agree with him as well. I felt like I was in some weird Twilight Zone episode.

The guy thought he was so intelligent and insightful. I never spoke to him again after that, and later found out from a female friend of mine who had gone on a date with him that he had a portrait of Adolf Hitler above his bed.

I'm a big, Swedish-looking guy, so I think he thought I was going to be with him on that. I was not.


37. A True Scientist

There once was an Evangelist that came to preach at my university in the quad. He said he had a bachelor’s degree in computer science and spent 'many years' doing 'Postgraduate study' and therefore was the most qualified to talk about all things science.

He claimed that, with Einstein's E=MC2 equation, Einstein proved that the speed of light changed over time and also that energy produced by the sun and starlight was converted to mass upon hitting the earth.

Therefore, when the speed of light gets faster or slower, the Earth gets larger or smaller respectively. And that's what makes it 'appear' that Plate Tectonics exist.

And when the earth last got smaller that was when Noah's flood occurred. He claimed to have written papers about it that had been published in 'major scientific journals'.

When we asked what journals they were, he said we were too stupid to understand them. When we asked where he got his degree, he claimed that he was too important to have to explain it to university students. When we asked who peer-reviewed his papers, he claimed that God himself did. I don't think you can get much more out of touch with reality than that.


38. The Twilight Zone

I had a friend all throughout high school and some time in college. She was a swimming champion in the making, breaking records left and right. She hurt her foot in some way, keeping her permanently out of the swimming game during her sophomore year of HS. She shortly after got "bit," by a vampire and is to this day convinced that she is a vampire.

I asked her in college to prove it—run fast, sparkle, actually suck another human's blood, turn into a bat, anything—and her uncalled-for response made me shake my head. She blocked me from social media, though I heard through the grapevine that she joined a real-life vampire group and manages a public blog about being a vampire. Shortly after I started talking about it, she texted me and demanded I clarify she's now a Pixie, no longer a vampire because she's part Native American.


39. Jamaican Ploy

woman in black and white striped long sleeve shirtPhoto by Julien L on Unsplash

My mom was scammed by Jamaican scammers. My sister and I had an impromptu intervention after my mom had my dad locked up. My dad found out she had given them thousands in exchange for winning their lottery. He then realized why she had $5000 in cash in her dresser.

She tried blocking the bedroom door from him and the money. When he pushed past her into the bedroom, she called the authorities, and he got taken in.

The next day, my sister and I went over. The scammers would call their house every 10 minutes. She would beg the scammers to give her the money because no one believed her. She was absolutely convinced it was real.

She got so angry with us because we didn’t believe her and because we would get on the phone and yell at the scammers.

She was bent on sending the scammers more money. It was like she was an addict. She had managed to send them $1500 more before we had gotten there. We ended up taking the $3500 that was left, her keys, purse, and phones.

We left someone with her to watch her until we were able to cut off access to bank accounts and my dad was released.


40. Pulling His Weight

My stepfather constantly complains that "Nobody pulls their weight around here, people need to learn responsibility!" Or, well, that's the gist of what he says. He tells us we need to get "real jobs" even though I work as a computer programmer and my brother, a teen, has his first job at a food service store and has future plans.

Problem is, my stepfather's unemployed. The last job he had was as a minimum-wage dishwasher. He got fired nearly two years ago because he kept showing up slammed. His claim to fame is doing the dishes at the house a few times a week, and based on conversations I've overheard, he threw out some old vegetable soup, which he talks about weeks later as if he moved the Earth to do it.

I had to lend my mom and brother a good amount to cover their rent when my brother made the mistake of giving his portion to my stepdad, who subsequently went out the next day and bought a load of drinks.


41. Complete Addiction

I've got a buddy who probably has a video game addiction and has had it for most of his life. We are both mid to late 20s now. His game of choice for the past few years has been DOTA 2. The championships for this game, if you are unaware, host the largest e-sports prize pools in history (7 figures). This guy thinks he has a chance to make it and compete as a pro.

The chances of that happening for anyone are incredibly slim. But the part of this, is he is only ranked in the top 70%-ish of people on the entire online ladder ranking system. On top of that, he only plays one of the 150+ heroes.

Apparently, you absolutely need to be able to play at least most of them efficiently since you can't play the same one every game. He is giving up his life basically to try this. He acts irrationally towards his friends who question his ability or goals and slowly but surely is alienating himself.

He takes no responsibility for this trend and blames other people for it. He has put off school for a time to play DOTA; he had one semester left until graduating and deferred, I'd be surprised if he actually finishes it. He hardly ever works, only barely enough to pay his tiny bit of rent split between four other roommates.

It's an unbelievable situation.


42. My Birthday Battle

Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice Review! | Oh man, it's f… |

It was the opening night of Batman v. Superman, before anyone knew how bad it was, and my friends and I decided to celebrate my birthday and get advance IMAX tickets. We reserved our seats, and they were decent seats, and we got into the theater with our popcorn and drinks and firmly sat in our seats.

There was still some time before the movie started, so we started talking. Then a woman with a little boy interrupted our conversation to talk to me. Sensing her tone, I could already tell things were going to get a little tense.

"Excuse me, can you swap seats with my son? He's only six and doesn't like sticking his head up far”. Now, I bought these tickets two weeks in advance, and this was for my birthday, so I looked her and her son right in the eye and said "No”. The woman got mad and told me I'm selfish and entitled.

I told her "I reserved these seats two weeks ago. It's my birthday. And just because he's six does not entitle him to my reserved seats”.

I saw her complaining to the usher and pointing at me five minutes later. The usher just shrugged.


43. Missed Opportunities

Me and three flatmates started working on a game together during our second year of university. What was originally just for an end-of-year project started to gain a huge amount of momentum, at least for a student game.

We entered an international student games competition and were one of the three winning teams from across the entire world. The three winning teams were nominated for a BAFTA (British Academy of Film and Television) Games award.

We showed the game at the Leftfield Collection at EGX, a UK game convention that had 80,000 attendees that year. We were one of 20 submissions accepted, narrowed down from over 200. PC Gamer, a magazine I used to pretend to be able to read when I snuck into my brother's room as a kid, previewed our game.

Our game was a page away from a preview of XCOM 2. Seeing our game talked about in print—and next to a franchise I revered—was crazy.

We had interest from several publishers, but one that stood out asked us over Skype how much we wanted. As in, they just asked how much money we needed to make the game into a finished product.

They didn't set us a time frame, or request any control over the product. They just asked us: "How much do you want?" All the time and risk I had put into this project seemed like it was going to come back tenfold.

It was going to fast-track us all to the careers we wanted. We could set up our studio. Our own funded studio. All the contacts we had made since the beginning of the project told us that university didn't matter—not for games. If you can make and finish a game, do it. It's more valuable than any piece of paper you can get from your classes.

So, what did we do? We stopped making the game. My team no longer "found it fun" to work on the game. The rest of the team set it aside so they could "focus on their projects".

For an entire year I've, had to live with the same people, each day trying to forget, or in any way move on from what we threw away. About a month ago me and one of the team members were outside a pub for a friend's birthday. We hadn't talked in a while.

He said to me, "it was just a student project. That's all it was ever meant to be".


44. Right In The Face

When I was on vacation in Aruba, I saw this group of little kids throwing around a football and one of the kids ended up hitting a man in the face with the football. The kid ran over to go to retrieve the ball, and started to walk away from the man without saying a word.

The man then utters in response, "Are you not going to apologize? You could've broken my teeth!"

The kid then responded, "My daddy's an orthodontist; if I broke your teeth, he would just fix them," and just walked away.


45. A Sudden Trip

smiling woman in shallow focus photographyPhoto by Edward Cisneros on Unsplash

When I was still a kid, my now estranged mom used to be one of the most logical and understanding people I knew. When I was just a teenager, it was just the two of us, and we were trying our best to get out of her brother's house and have our own place. We lived on the east coast.

Then one day, out of the blue, my mom came home from work and told me in all seriousness that Jesus had come to her in her thoughts and told her we needed to move to the west coast, and we needed to leave on December 15th of that year.

I wasn't religious, but I had never once judged or expressed doubt about her faith. That wasn't and never will be my place. But this was worth an eyebrow raise—she expected me to throw everything I owned in a storage locker, pack a suitcase, throw my emotional support dog in the hatchback of her SUV, and drive across the country with no money or planning in advance.

I actually went along with this at first, ended up homeless over the course of two years, and actually lost my dog in the turbulence of everything. She always insisted that everything going wrong was my fault and that God wouldn't lie to her. That was several years ago now, and she and I are no longer in contact.

I've since moved north with my best friend and was forced to start my life completely over going into adulthood, and she ended up right back in her brother's house where we started.


46. Isn’t This The Best?

My husband's friend insisted on taking us to the 'best, most authentic' Chinese restaurant in town. I'm Chinese. He's a Jewish guy who has never been to any Chinese-speaking country. The food wasn't good, nor was it authentic. He had the suggest look on his face when he sat back and quirked his eyebrow at me as if expecting me to heap praise onto him. Anyway, I didn't.

The best part is that they aren't friends anymore, so now I don't have to pretend that crab rangoons are the peak of Chinese cuisine.


47. High Art

My ex is a photography major, but his photography is mediocre at best. One day, he angrily rants and rants to me about how the people in his city are so rude. He elaborates and says something along the lines of “I was taking pictures of all these homeless people, and they got so mad at me for no reason!!

I told them I’m a photography major and they just kept yelling at me to delete the pictures and asking why I am taking pictures! Like, ugh, it just looked cool, and they were being so stupid about it!!!”

On top of that, he truly thought that poverty was aesthetic, wanted to “become homeless and train hop,” while in the same breath complaining about the car bought especially for him, or how his study abroad in Japan might get postponed… I hate that guy with a passion, in hindsight.


48. A Baseless Breakdown

brown and white concrete building under blue sky during daytimePhoto by School My Kids on Unsplash

My sister went to a private high school in a very nice area with very rich kids. One day, my sister sees one of her friends crying and quickly runs over to her to ask what is wrong. Her friend, through sobs, manages to say, “Everything is just so unfairrrrrrr, I can't even believe my life!!!” My sister is so concerned because this girl seems on the verge of a breakdown.

After calming her down for a bit, my sister asks again what is bothering the friend, thinking maybe something happened, or her parents are getting divorced...

“Well, you know my birthday is coming up, and so is my sister's... and well, sobbing some more, my parents are getting us both brand new range rovers, and because she is older, she is getting the black one, but I wanted that one!!!” The only thing my sister could do was say, “I am so sorry for you” and walk away.

We still do feel bad for her... She’s so detached.


49. The Smallest Thing

My grandma was out walking her dog and stopped to talk to another lady who was a neighbor. Her dog peed on the edge of the lady’s lawn, and she freaked out and told my grandma she needed to 'pick' up the pee so my grandma just told her she would bring paper towels next time and left.

The lady got so mad she wouldn't talk to my grandparents for weeks, even after being neighbors for about nine years, and said my grandma needed to apologize.

The lady came out one day and told my grandpa that she didn't need his services anymore—he had mowed their lawn every week—and that they were going to pay another guy to do it. They never paid my grandpa; he had been doing it for free for two years.


50. A Real Emergency

I'm a 911 operator and once had a man call 911 because the internet at the hotel he was staying at got disconnected. I told him it was not an emergency issue, and that he would have to talk to the hotel staff and/or just wait for it to reboot. He did NOT like hearing that. He responded, "Not an emergency issue? This is criminal. If I unplugged someone's life support, isn't that a crime?"


People Reveal The Dumbest Reason They've Ever Lost A Friend
Helena Lopes/Unsplash

Maintaining friendships as we get older becomes a challenge.

The fact is, people evolve as they move on to different chapters in their lives, whether it's work-related, changing schools, or raising a family.

And while we do our best to keep the friendships involving our besties who've seen each of us go through our various ups and downs in life, it's inevitable that some gradually fade into the background and are eventually forgotten.

Curious to hear from those who've lost touch with friends, Redditor Mister_Moho asked:

"What is the dumbest reason you've ever lost a friend for?"

Workplace friendships can change without notice.

The Hurt Coworker

"We were coworkers, best friends. This dude quits the job and blocks me on everything?? I still don’t understand why."

– ToastedTurtle420

"He was probably hurt that you quit and apparently didnt know how to express his feelings in a healthy way, being a 45 year old man. 5 bucks say he got into his car after work that day, put on some sad music and cried."

– Waflstmpr

Gone And Forgotten

"I got laid off from my job a few months back that I’d only been at for just less than a year, and my best friend, whom I worked with during that time, of 5 years still hasn’t contacted me. That sh*t hurt."

– HyrumCWill

"Got hired, became great friends with a guy that's been there 25 years. We both hated the 'new owner' who owned it 5 years. (I was brand new)."

"Worked side by side for 6 months, went out 3-4 days a week after work for a beer. Every Fri we set our schedule for Monday. I worked in the field, he worked in the shop. We both arranged our schedules to help each other out."

"He'd said many times, 'we' had the best system he'd worked in 25 years there."

"I quit at 6 months. He knew I'd be quitting, we both talked about quitting as the owner was an idiot."

"I called him that Fri to see if he wantedd to grab an afterwork beer."

"45 yr old guy literally yelled into his phone 'no one here likes you so stop calling.' I chuckled, thought.that's weird, but ok."

"Called back. He answered, was really serious. Said it again. Calmer."

"Said look guy, you were never one of us, and you proved that when you quit."

"It was the weirdest and most chick-like breakup I've ever had!"

"I thought, a week ago, we took the company truck on a delivery, and his wife made us sandwiches at his house for lunch?"

"Always wondered if he hated me because I 'made it out'?"

"I picked the time to leave right after a big project, so he wouldn't be stuck doing my job. The timing was perfect to hire my replacement. Was really weird. Guess I hurt a 45 yr old dudes feelings somehow?"


Some people are terrible at communicating.

Non Answer

"Friendship of 20 years, She never told me why ('you know why") thats the dumbest reason ever."

– AssociateMany102

"Something similar like this. Best friend since kindergarten decides to suddenly ghost me after she ended up moving schools during junior year. The last several times we saw each other we never said much even at sleepovers. October, 2 months into the school year I noticed she has me blocked on social media. It didn’t help that throughout the rest of the year where people asked me how she was doing since we were always close. Took them about Senior year to stop asking and getting fake sympathy from a few including my parents. Meanwhile some of her acquaintances who she still had contact with always glared at me in the halls. Looking back at it in that last year, I can say we had our differences…."

– _hot_maruchan_


"Same. I was good friends with a guy for 15 years. Hung out at least once a week, usually minimum of 1 day at the weekend if life was busy. We would game together most night, grab a takeaway at the weekend and nothing seemed out of the ordinary."

"We had a meal one night and had even been discussing plans for the future and the next day he cut off contact."

"Blocked me on everything including my number as my calls just wouldn’t go through."

"After about two weeks I decided to go around his house and make sure he wasn’t dead. No answer. I tried a few more times, also email and phoning. Eventually after about a month I had to assume he was dead as I didn’t really have any contact with anyone else that knew him so I left it."

"After about 6 months I managed to find an old email messenger by accident I had forgotten about like 10 years ago and it said he was online so I reached out and he replied about 3 days later saying sorry he had been to some place for work and had to help there."

"Well turns out that was a lie as that location has never (and hasn’t since) had a store at that location."

"He then gave me his 'new' number and said he would fill me in."

"Number was not his, and immediately after he sent it to be the messenger changed to 'this person can no longer receive messages from you as you have been blocked.'”

"Never got an explanation or what I’ve done wrong."

– Interesting_Tone6532

"I also lost quite a bit of money because of this as I had been planning to go to an event which I had pre paid for and he said he would go if I booked it. I had told him when I was booking it for and he had verbally agreed to go if I sorted out all the details. Well I got some back for cancelling it but not everything as I didn’t want to go alone."

"The last thing is that his friend did the exact same thing to him over a girl about five years into us being friends, and he said to me then and swore that he would never do anything like that to anyone, and I believed him because if he was always pretty blunt when he didn’t like someone."

Sorry for the long message, I’ve never really found the right post to rant about this."

– Interesting_Tone6532

Some friendships aren't meant to last forever.

The Drug Dealer

"Had a friend that got pulled over by police and caught with drugs with intent to sell. All good, I always knew he consumed and it was not my problem. One week goes by, I give him a ride home during the afternoon and when I meet him at the same day during the night, I find him looking for his stash that he left in my car without telling me. He was surprised that I got mad. Entitled and spoiled kid. I cut all our ties."

– shur_t

Bad Taste

"My best friend in high school stopped associating with me when I started listening to bands other than Green Day."

"I wish I was joking."

– StrixArcana

"I'd see this happening in middle school, but high school?! Damn, someone was superficial..."

– OP

"In middle school someone told me I wasn’t “allowed” to listen to the Beastie Boys and Cypress Hill. I had to pick one."

– unit_79

You can't always predict everyone's behavior but based on their reactions to various circumstances can be very telling of who your "friends" are.

When their true colors reveal an individual to have a personality that contradicts the affable image of them you had before, it just shows they were never a friend to begin with.

The examples above were definitely reflective of the notion that it's not a matter of how many friends you have on your growing list on your social media friends lists.

It's the ones who will have your back no matter what that you want to hold onto.

Little girl covering her face
Photo by Caleb Woods on Unsplash

We all have things that scare us enough to keep us awake at night.

A phobia, if you will.

Some of these are fairly common, be they somewhat trivial, such as heights, rodents, or the supernatural.

While others are on the more serious side, such as the possibility of your friends and families being in danger.

Others suffer from phobias which are anything but common.

Ridiculous as they may seem in the eyes of others, these phobias still send shivers up the spines of those who suffer from them, scaring them far more than a scary story or a turbulent flight.

Redditor NeZur was eager to hear the things that make the hairs on the backs of people's necks stand on end, leading them to ask:

"What type of phobia do yo have?"

It Is, In Fact, One Of The Most Dangerous Modes Of Transportation...


"I drive every day."

"People be crazy out on the roads."

"Scares me to death."- Same-Ad-1266

Arachnophobia To The Max...

"Spiders."- evandollardon

"Especially with big paws."- NeZur

"A pregnant spider, with big paws."- TwoLittleNeedleMarks

Some People Stick To Puddle Stomping

"Thalassophobia, the fear of deep bodies of water."- GentlyDead

Searching For The Nearest Boat...


"I especially hate it when the traffic backs up and you are stuck on the bridge."- mspolytheist

Design 3D GIF by BADCODECGiphy

The Only Thing Scarier Than Snakes on A Plane...

"I have a phobia of anacondas coming up the toilet while I'm taking a dump."- dingbatyokel5000

Especially When They're Your Own...


"Scare the living sh*t outta me."- Randomees

Anything Scarier Than Getting Shot? Getting A Shot...

"Needles."- Chocolatelover4ever

"I always faint with needles."

"My blood pools into my legs and I'm out like a light."

"I have to clench and squeal if I see a needle ANYWHERE."

"I used to get faintish but COVID flashes of needles actually desensitized me a bit."

"I've only had one nurse keep me conscious through a blood draw and it was because she (Lowkey knowing I faint) started ranting about how her brother went to Colorado and got to smoke like snoop while she takes the other 'high' road (nursing)."

"Versus a nurse doing the cliche 'what's your favorite XYZ' while drawing 6 vials."

"She apparently got to 4 when I told her I was going to faint."

"She got another vial in while I was out."

"I got help from my ex to a room as they checked my pulse saying I was coma levels."

"Shots, I'm alright if I can lay down or sit with my head between my legs."

"I have tons of piercings but no ink."

"Hell I even pierced my own labret."- This_User_Said

Getting Nervous Could Be A Problem...


"Haven't puked since preschool, now I'm a college freshman."- thrashmusican

gross james van der beek GIFGiphy

There Is Little Worse Than A Cracked Nail...

"Anything to do with damage to finger/toe nails."

"Makes me seriously queezy thinking about it."- silentarcher00

As If The Sound Isn't Scary Enough...

"The garbage disposal."

"Under NO circumstance will I put my hand in there."

"Lost a spoon?"

"It's dead to me until my husband gets home."- potato-keeper

Two For The Price Of One...

"Forgot the term for it but underwater machinery and deep water in general."- Limp_Telephone2280

Das Boot Water GIF by WoodblockGiphy

Not "Sailing Away" Any Time Soon...

"I don't like the open sea as a concept."

"Not a fear of sharks/drowning or anything specific."

"The sh*t is just horrifying."-TreefrogJ

SIze Does Matter...


"I am pretty scared next to tall buildings and statues."

"For some reason I can't look up when I am close to it."- MIKE_THE_KILLER

Holey Moley...


"Lately on my FYP, those videos of people with tons of seashells (I think, I didn’t get a close look) attached to they’re arms or legs keep popping up and it makes me physically sick."

"It legit ruins my mood."- irllylikeurpeaches

According to FDR, "the only thing we have to fear is fear itself."

If only all phobias were so simple...

Parsley sprigs and red berries next to cheese pizza
Photo by Ivan Torres on Unsplash

Because there's so much variety, there are very few people in the world who do not enjoy pizza.

But unlike pineapple on pizza, which some people root for and some people hate, there are some ingredients that everyone can agree should absolutely never, ever get anywhere near a pizza.

Redditor jray1126 asked:

"What is something that should never go on pizza?"

No Ketchup

"I’ve mentioned this before, but I once had the displeasure of eating a pizza where they apparently decided to use ketchup instead of the usual marinara sauce. Worst pizza I have ever eaten in my life."

"Please never do this, people. Just because they are both red doesn’t mean you can substitute one for the other!"

- NelsonDLinkous

Never Even Real Cheese

"American cheese… I’m talking to you, Altoona, PA."

- revolutionoverdue

"Holy s**t, this explains so much. The worst pizza of my life came from a relatively small city in Pennsylvania, and it came with American cheese on it. They must have been going for this style..."

- Fangled_Astronaut_40

Opinion-Free Zone

"The weight of other people's opinions."

- Laurab2324

"I disagree with this opinion strongly!"

- circsensation

Inconvenient Olives

"Olives that still have the pit. Almost broke a tooth the first time I had pizza in Portugal where evidently putting whole olives on pizza, stones and all, is fairly common."

- HIteejMOP

Fair Enough

"Bones. I want my pizza boneless."

- DarkseidHS

The Most Divisive Comment

"Whoever says pineapple, come fight me."

- partypartyyeahh

"I sometimes think people say they hate it because the internet tells them to. It’s delicious on its own, with cheese, in burgers, on pizzas, on your mum, in salads, in wraps."

- javajuicejoe


"A second, smaller pizza."

- seanofkelley

"Why does that sound cool actually?"

- blepgobrrr

Extra Salty Pizza

"I recently tried anchovies on pizza… f**k that. You might as well just pile on a bunch of salt on your pizza."

- Borgalicious

The Story Behind This Combo...

"Kellogs Frosties."

- Frl_Bartchello

"Someone tried this, didn't they."

- joelsaturnip

Keyword: "Ex"

"My ex ate pizza with a fork and a knife and used ketchup. All around disturbing to watch."

- Classic_Ingenuity299


"Do NOT f**k with the sauce. That’s what makes pizza, pizza!"

"I’ll eat just about anything as a topping, so maybe I’m just deranged. But the sauce? Don’t f**k with the sauce."

"Barbecue is fine as long as it’s not some cheap s**t. But for the love of god, USE MARINARA SAUCE! NOT F**KING KETCHUP! this has happened to me far too many times."

- SW4G1N4T0R

Only Eligible for Speed-Eating

"As I actually learned today, burrata should not be included when it’s 38 degrees out. It literally tasted like milky pizza by the end and was almost unpalatable."

- Tough_Current_4302

"I have a feeling burrata would be better on like a cold veggie pizza. The kind where the crust gets baked but the toppings don’t."

- StarfishOfDoom

Sounds... Heavy

"Mashed potatoes. I know this first hand."

- heyjudemarie

"100% agree. Potatoes are amazing, but on pizza, it's gawdawful."

- Fun_Constant_6863

The Most Inclusive Food

"Trick question."

"Pizza is for everyone. Pizza believes in equality and equity. Pizza loves you and will accept you, regardless of whatever unique toppings you prefer."

"Unless you dip it in ranch dressing. F**k ranch dressing. Just admit you you don't like your pizza, and stop ruining perfectly good pizza with salty white goop."

- thenichem

While everyone's free to enjoy pizza however they wish, these seem like reasonable items to skip the next time you order a pizza, or it might ruin the whole vibe.