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Stress Experts Share Tips For Managing Your Mental Health

Stress Experts Share Tips For Managing Your Mental Health

Stress Experts Share Tips For Managing Your Mental Health

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_Stress is just a daily given. It's everywhere. Stress creeps in at home, work (WORK STRESS KILLS,) in transit (HAVE YOU SEEN 'FALLING DOWN?',) in the shower, in bed, in our own minds in moments of solace. It is not something that is completely unavoidable. It is merely a fact of life we cannot control. We can however control how we cope with it or even utilize it for the greater good. _

Redditor _\_u/heyitsant _*needed some advice for a daily struggle asking *_This week (14-20 May) was mental health awareness week with a focus on stress. How do you cope with stress? Do you have any questions about stress? Realize that you can conquer stress before it conquers you. no joke... stress kills! _

THE LIST IS ENDLESS...

  • I try my best to make sure my physical needs are met: Healthy food, enough water, enough sleep (Unisom helps on those insomnia nights), and enough exercise. Being hungry, dehydrated, tired, or lacking exercise makes any stress seem so much worse!
  • I verbalize why I'm stressed. Sometimes I tell my partner or my brother, sometimes I complain to the internet, sometimes I write in my journal. Being able to give form and words to that feeling of dread makes it seem less intimidating.
  • I take breaks. As an example, I haven't had a day completely off, free of appointments or chores, for months. Tomorrow, I get one! I'm going on a hike rather than trying to catch up on deep cleaning.
  • Stardew Valley. Just hearing the overture makes my shoulders drop and my muscles relax.

THE BASICS...

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Being hungry, dehydrated, tired, or lacking exercise makes any stress seem so much worse!

Check, check, check, and check.

I'm working on it though. Thanks for the reminder.

SPEAK UP!

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I bottle that crap up and push it down down down down until it becomes a little diamond of concentrated sadness and rage. The more I do it the more diamonds are created and fuse together so that it becomes a sharp and cold stone that sits uncomfortably inside me so that it cuts and chafes on my insides.

Just kidding, I try and talk about the things.

FIND A LOVED ONE.

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I talk to my wife mostly. Sometimes though talking about your own problems just keeps your problems floating around. I've found it helps to listen to other people's problems and get some perspective on what's happening around me.

Reaching out to others can help but when it boils down to it... you have to help yourself.

It's difficult. Especially now where everyone on your Facebook and Instagram are clearly having the times of their lives and you can't understand why you aren't happy like them.

Look at your own life and think about what's making you feel down.

Don't try and solve the big thing that is pulling at you. Fix all those little things that you are going to deal with later. You fix the little things and the bigger things will take care of themselves.

THE SILENCE.

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Meditation man. I realized a few months ago that smoking pot and getting drunk every night is not a good way to relieve stress so I started forcing myself to meditate for ten minutes every morning before walking to class. I am s*** at meditating, but you don't have to be good at it to benefit from it. All you have to do is make yourself do it.

JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL!

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I recognize the things I can control and the things I can't.

If something I can influence is causing stress, I come up with an action plan. If something I have no or little control over is causing me stress I make sure to spend as little time worrying about it as possible.

Empowerment is my stress reliever. I am empowered to change my own circumstances, I am not a victim.

Also, I garden.

THE GYM? UMMM....

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Having a gym membership helps. Yes, I can work out at home, but with a gym membership makes it easier to remember to work out.

EVERYTHING AT ONCE IS NO GOOD.

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Selectively not caring about work, money, life in general. Simple to say, very very very hard to do in practice. Took years to master it.

LIVE IN THE MUSIC.

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Nothing melts stress away like lifting some heavy weights and blasting some music.

SLEEP AND CAFFEINE!

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It depends. Sometimes when I/m too stressed and getting angry about it, I'm taking a nap or grab a coffee and drink it in a quiet place. Helps for me.

DO THE RESEARCH!

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Here's a good one that I've reposted from u/s4mh41n a few times:

Stress Management:

Stress is not a feeling, an emotion, a mood. Stop treating it like one. It's a physical thing that happens to your body. It's your body saying _"something is wrong, fix it." _Symptoms of stress/anxiety include things that can be measured by doctors, such as weight gain, lack of sleep, blood pressure issues, acne, hair loss, etc. Many people try to treat stress as a feeling, and do things to make them feel better, like yoga, workout, have sex, go to the gun range, or buy little stress balls that they squeeze when they feel stressed. This is the incorrect way to deal with stress.

Think of stress as financial stress. What is financial stress? You have too much to pay for and not enough money. If you were financially stressed and I told you I could make you feel better about it by selling you a squeeze ball for 20 bucks, would you fall for that garbage? I hope not.

This is how stress stacks up on your life: Imagine a graph. There is an invisible line somewhere on it going straight, horizontally, all the way across. That is your personal _"stress threshold." _Literally everything that you have to do in your life is a stressor. Imagine them as blocks stacking up on top of each other. Some are bigger than others. The closer you get to your threshold, the more stressed you feel. If you do not prevent them from crossing that threshold, you will enter depression, which is your body saying _"screw it, you won't fix it, I'll just shut everything down until it works itself out."_, much like how if you're freezing to death in the woods your body starts shutting down to save the vital organs, but you will still eventually freeze to death anyways. Think of stress as you shivering when it's cold, and depression as your body shutting down to preserve vital organs.

So, this is THE way to manage stress: You manage it. The pilot giving the training said to make a list, either mentally or literally, of EVERYTHING that stresses you out. Next, look at the list and see what you can actually take care of right then and there, and start knocking things off the list. You will literally be removing stress from your life. You ever wonder why people say they feel like their "load is lighter" or "weight has been lifted off their shoulders" after they complete a task? Because it has. Ever wonder why people say they feel good after mowing the lawn, or going to the gym, or whatever? It's because they've actually removed a stress block from their life. They've done something. Often times, people try to manage stress by drinking tea, or doing yoga, or doing things that simulate to their mind that they're accomplishing something, when really they're just tricking their brain into releasing the chemical that it does when you actually get something done. The REAL way is to actually identify the things that stress you out, and REMOVE them from your pile of stressors.

When you make your list, literally write out everything. Pretty much if you think about something and say "Oh crap, I have to do that.", it's a stressor. Everything from brushing your teeth in the morning, to changing that light bulb in the laundry room, to gassing up your car, to studying for that test, to out-processing for that deployment, to going to that job interview, etc etc. Write them down, look at it, and think "Oh shoot, I could just change that lightbulb right now. I could mow the lawn. I could fix that door hinge." Do this and you will be on your way to becoming more productive and less stressed. I've been doing this for years now and it works GREAT. It's how these fighter pilots manage their personal lives and flying a stupid fast war machine in combat. There have been a few times where I did still get too stressed out, but it was because I literally just had too much on my plate that was beyond my control, but since I understood how stress works, I was able to still get ahold of it and break myself out of the slight depression I had slipped into.

FIND YOUR ROCK!

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I keep my husband in the loop on how I'm feeling and how my mental health is going. He listens and comforts me, helps ground me in reality when I start catastrophising, and provides sympathy in stressful times. He helps guide me with good tips for managing anxiety, and knows when a little extra TLC is needed. He is my rock in the storm, and every day I hope to be as good a wife to him as he is a husband to me.

ASK...

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I typically ask myself a few questions:

Can I do something about this right now?

Can I do something about this tomorrow?

Can I do something about this in the next week, month, year?

If the answer is yes to any of those items, then I can start to plan for a way to fix, cope, deal with, these items.

If the answer is no to any of those items, then those issues are outside of my control and stressing about them isn't worth my time. I've got better things to do anyways.

YOUR BODY IS SPEAKING.

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How does emotional stress translate into physical issues such as back pain or nausea? Like what is happening in your body that your thoughts are causing actual pain?

MAKE BETTER CHOICES...

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Alcohol and the occasional outburst.

DON'T STOP MOVING...

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I'm a runner. It's not for everyone, but works for me, I always come back in a different (better) frame of mind. The endorphins kick in, I'm breathing, and focusing on things that don't stress me out. I guess working out in general can have the same effect. You don't have to run marathons (but I have) and you don't have to run fast (and I don't). And there are health benefits too. If you're new to it, start slow and short distances and build from there. There are plenty of online training programs to get started (try runners world), get off Reddit and go there.

People Reveal The Weirdest Thing About Themselves

Reddit user Isitjustmedownhere asked: 'Give an example; how weird are you really?'

Let's get one thing straight: no one is normal. We're all weird in our own ways, and that is actually normal.

Of course, that doesn't mean we don't all have that one strange trait or quirk that outweighs all the other weirdness we possess.

For me, it's the fact that I'm almost 30 years old, and I still have an imaginary friend. Her name is Sarah, she has red hair and green eyes, and I strongly believe that, since I lived in India when I created her and there were no actual people with red hair around, she was based on Daphne Blake from Scooby-Doo.

I also didn't know the name Sarah when I created her, so that came later. I know she's not really there, hence the term 'imaginary friend,' but she's kind of always been around. We all have conversations in our heads; mine are with Sarah. She keeps me on task and efficient.

My mom thinks I'm crazy that I still have an imaginary friend, and writing about her like this makes me think I may actually be crazy, but I don't mind. As I said, we're all weird, and we all have that one trait that outweighs all the other weirdness.

Redditors know this all too well and are eager to share their weird traits.

It all started when Redditor Isitjustmedownhere asked:

"Give an example; how weird are you really?"

Monsters Under My Bed

"My bed doesn't touch any wall."

"Edit: I guess i should clarify im not rich."

– Practical_Eye_3600

"Gosh the monsters can get you from any angle then."

– bikergirlr7

"At first I thought this was a flex on how big your bedroom is, but then I realized you're just a psycho 😁"

– zenOFiniquity8

Can You See Why?

"I bought one of those super-powerful fans to dry a basement carpet. Afterwards, I realized that it can point straight up and that it would be amazing to use on myself post-shower. Now I squeegee my body with my hands, step out of the shower and get blasted by a wide jet of room-temp air. I barely use my towel at all. Wife thinks I'm weird."

– KingBooRadley

Remember

"In 1990 when I was 8 years old and bored on a field trip, I saw a black Oldsmobile Cutlass driving down the street on a hot day to where you could see that mirage like distortion from the heat on the road. I took a “snapshot” by blinking my eyes and told myself “I wonder how long I can remember this image” ….well."

– AquamarineCheetah

"Even before smartphones, I always take "snapshots" by blinking my eyes hoping I'll remember every detail so I can draw it when I get home. Unfortunately, I may have taken so much snapshots that I can no longer remember every detail I want to draw."

"Makes me think my "memory is full.""

– Reasonable-Pirate902

Same, Same

"I have eaten the same lunch every day for the past 4 years and I'm not bored yet."

– OhhGoood

"How f**king big was this lunch when you started?"

– notmyrealnam3

Not Sure Who Was Weirder

"Had a line cook that worked for us for 6 months never said much. My sous chef once told him with no context, "Baw wit da baw daw bang daw bang diggy diggy." The guy smiled, left, and never came back."

– Frostygrunt

Imagination

"I pace around my house for hours listening to music imagining that I have done all the things I simply lack the brain capacity to do, or in some really bizarre scenarios, I can really get immersed in these imaginations sometimes I don't know if this is some form of schizophrenia or what."

– RandomSharinganUser

"I do the same exact thing, sometimes for hours. When I was young it would be a ridiculous amount of time and many years later it’s sort of trickled off into almost nothing (almost). It’s weird but I just thought it’s how my brain processes sh*t."

– Kolkeia

If Only

"Even as an adult I still think that if you are in a car that goes over a cliff; and right as you are about to hit the ground if you jump up you can avoid the damage and will land safely. I know I'm wrong. You shut up. I'm not crying."

– ShotCompetition2593

Pet Food

"As a kid I would snack on my dog's Milkbones."

– drummerskillit

"Haha, I have a clear memory of myself doing this as well. I was around 3 y/o. Needless to say no one was supervising me."

– Isitjustmedownhere

"When I was younger, one of my responsibilities was to feed the pet fish every day. Instead, I would hide under the futon in the spare bedroom and eat the fish food."

– -GateKeep-

My Favorite Subject

"I'm autistic and have always had a thing for insects. My neurotypical best friend and I used to hang out at this local bar to talk to girls, back in the late 90s. One time he claimed that my tendency to circle conversations back to insects was hurting my game. The next time we went to that bar (with a few other friends), he turned and said sternly "No talking about bugs. Or space, or statistics or other bullsh*t but mainly no bugs." I felt like he was losing his mind over nothing."

"It was summer, the bar had its windows open. Our group hit it off with a group of young ladies, We were all chatting and having a good time. I was talking to one of these girls, my buddy was behind her facing away from me talking to a few other people."

"A cloudless sulphur flies in and lands on little thing that holds coasters."

"Cue Jordan Peele sweating gif."

"The girl notices my tension, and asks if I am looking at the leaf. "Actually, that's a lepidoptera called..." I looked at the back of my friend's head, he wasn't looking, "I mean a butterfly..." I poked it and it spread its wings the girl says "oh that's a BUG?!" and I still remember my friend turning around slowly to look at me with chastisement. The ONE thing he told me not to do."

"I was 21, and was completely not aware that I already had a rep for being an oddball. It got worse from there."

– Phormicidae

*Teeth Chatter*

"I bite ice cream sometimes."

RedditbOiiiiiiiiii

"That's how I am with popsicles. My wife shudders every single time."

monobarreller

Never Speak Of This

"I put ice in my milk."

– GTFOakaFOD

"You should keep that kind of thing to yourself. Even when asked."

– We-R-Doomed

"There's some disturbing sh*t in this thread, but this one takes the cake."

– RatonaMuffin

More Than Super Hearing

"I can hear the television while it's on mute."

– Tira13e

"What does it say to you, child?"

– Mama_Skip

Yikes!

"I put mustard on my omelettes."

– Deleted User

"Oh."

– NotCrustOr-filling

Evened Up

"Whenever I say a word and feel like I used a half of my mouth more than the other half, I have to even it out by saying the word again using the other half of my mouth more. If I don't do it correctly, that can go on forever until I feel it's ok."

"I do it silently so I don't creep people out."

– LesPaltaX

"That sounds like a symptom of OCD (I have it myself). Some people with OCD feel like certain actions have to be balanced (like counting or making sure physical movements are even). You should find a therapist who specializes in OCD, because they can help you."

– MoonlightKayla

I totally have the same need for things to be balanced! Guess I'm weird and a little OCD!

Close up face of a woman in bed, staring into the camera
Photo by Jen Theodore

Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.

Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?

But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.

It would be so great to be sure there is something else.

But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.

Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:

"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"

Sensations

Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy

"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."

PeachesnPain

Recovery

"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."

"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."

"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."

good_golly99

Take Me Back

"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."

"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."

rayrayrayray

Free

The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy

"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."

TooReDTooHigh

This is why I hate surgery.

You just never know.

Shocked

Giphy

"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."

Admirable_Buyer6528

The SOB

"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."

"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”

1-cupcake-at-a-time

Colors

"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"

Hannah_LL7

"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"

huntokarrr

The Fog

"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."

"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."

Fluffy-Hotel-5184

Through the Walls

"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."

"She's quite alive and well today."

Hot-Refrigerator6583

Well let's all be happy to be alive.

It seems to be all we have.

Man's waist line
Santhosh Vaithiyanathan/Unsplash

Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.

The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.

Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.

Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:

"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"

Redditors didn't see these coming.

Shiver Me Timbers

"I’m always cold now!"

– Telrom_1

"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."

– r7ndom

"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."

– mr_remy

Drawing Concern

"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."

– dee-fondy

"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"

"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."

– LizardofDeath

Unleashing Insults

"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”

"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."

– alanamablamaspama

Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight

"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."

– KeltarCentauri

"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."

– KatMagic1977

"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."

– Jaew96

These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.

Shopping

"I can buy clothes in any store I want."

– WaySavvyD

"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."

– ganache98012

No More Symptoms

"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."

– colleennicole93

Expanding Capabilities

"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."

– Ramblonius

People Change Their Tune

"How much nicer people are to you."

"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"

– LiZZygsu

"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"

"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"

– awholedamngarden

It's gonna take some getting used to.

Bones Everywhere

"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."

– Princess-Pancake-97

"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."

– bekastrange

Knee Pillow

"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."

– snic2030

"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."

– Strongbad23

More Mobility

"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."

"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."

– dma1965

People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.

But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.

That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.