Since we grow up in a world where it is assumed that we will be straight, we don't receive a lot of education on the LGBTQ+ community. Most places receive zero education, as decades of homophobia and gay erasure rear their ugly heads even in modern society.
So curiosity from straight people is natural. It's welcome. It only helps break down the walls between our communities.
Here were some of those answers.
The Clever One First
What's on the gay agenda for today?
For the lesbians, today is gardening and obsessing over hot female actresses.
I mean we do that every day but whatever.
Take Note, Straights!
What are the creepy or offensive things things that well-meaning non-lgbt people say?
The question "so which one is the girl and which one is the guy" is pretty offensive. We are not trying to fit ourselves in a straight mold. Were both girls/ were both guys. It's like the whole point.
Asking whose on top can be pretty intrusive if you don't know them well.
Asking a trans person their birth name or what's in their pants is super rude.
Are there "straight jokes"? Straight people use jokes about being gay all the time, especially guys.
I don't think it's the case for everybody but one of my group of friends is like 80% LGBT+ people and YES. So many jokes and puns about straight/cis people. But none of them are insults and I never heard a violent joke about straight people.
We DEFINILTY have jokes about the straights™ though. Like about heterophobia or straight pride.
This Is A Good Perspective, Listen Up
I'm not straight but I've always wanted to ask a trans person what they mean when they say they "feel like a man/woman". I guess it's probably not entirely tangible but I've always found it intriguing.
Imagine waking up every day of your life feeling like something's wrong. You're perfectly healthy, your life is great, but there's something wrong. You just don't know what.
The feeling gets worse when you look at yourself in a mirror, or see your body. It gets even worse when puberty starts and you watch your body change and you hate it, but you don't know why. There's just something wrong.
The feeling sometimes gets better when you look at people of the opposite sex (for me, girls). Sometimes, it gets worse and you get frustrated for no reason. Maybe you have a crush on one of those girls. Maybe you just want some attention from them. But then, if you had a crush on one of them, there would be some happiness. There just isn't. Never. Your life is great but you're miserable and you can't figure out why.
Then one day a random thought occurs. I wish I were a girl. Then you understand what was wrong with you all your life.
The way I experienced it, it's a mix of discomfort, longing, and envy. I wasn't comfortable with my body (mind you, I had an awful life, which is why I didn't explore these issues until I gained some control over it in my early 20s) because I was male. I was hoping something would change without really knowing what. I envied girls simply for being girls.
This might be controversial, but I wouldn't say I "feel" like a woman. I'm a woman. Just not physically, alas. Even now after successfully transitioning, I'm aware that I'm still biologically male. It still bothers me. But I can live my life as a woman and that's a massive weight off of my shoulders. I can look at my body or into a mirror. I wake up in the morning without that residual feeling that something is wrong. I am no longer miserable.
Identity is a difficult question and everyone has their own perception of it. I don't think you'll ever get a definite answer on your question. The best you can get is a variety of testimonials and personal experiences, few of which you will resonate with.
Moms Trying To Be Better
What do (or did) you need from your mom?
(Mom of a trans teenager. I do my best to support him, and want to learn to do better)
The most important thing is to affirm his identity. Use his new name and pronouns. Making mistakes is okay, but work on it.
Otherwise, help him protect himself. There is a ton of hate directed at transgender teens, and someone of his age isn't going to have the emotional maturity to deal with it all. Whenever someone wants to deny who he is, have his back.
If he hasn't started puberty blockers yet, it's 100% worth it. Puberty blockers now means no mastectomy later. And if he changes his mind later (he probably won't) they're mostly reversible.
It's Common Because Women Are Nice
How come it's common for a gay man to befriend straight women but it's uncommon for a lesbian to befriend straight men?
I'm gay and my sister a lesbian. My female friends have never requested to watch my husband and I have sex. Straight men are always asking my sister if they can watch my sister and her wife have sex. there's your answer.
Your First Gay Movie
I've been fortunate enough to have quite a few close friends who were gay in my lifetime, so I've got no "how do things work" kind of questions that haven't been answered.
However, one of my favorites that I always ask when we're in the process of becoming friends... If you're around my age (mid-30's), and a gay guy, did you first realize you might be gay when watching the volley ball scene in Top Gun? And if not, why are you lying to me about when you first realized you were gay?
I remember a reading an interview with John Cryer about Duckie in Pretty in Pink. And he was saying how people would come up to him and thank him because that's how they realized they were in the closet.
And he said he was kind of shocked because he didn't realize Duckie was closeted, but when he mentioned it to the other cast they all knew.
So, of course, that's when I first realized that Duckie was gay in that movie.
How does "gaydar" work? How reliable is it?
Gaydar is just that... Recognizing that someone is likely to be LGBTQ. It can be based on any number of things - mannerisms, hair and clothes, subtle references and symbols that might not obvious to people who aren't "in the know," etc.
As to efficacy? Moderate? But there are also some false positives - people who are assumed to be LGBT but aren't.
The Gays. They're Everywhere.
What did you wish you knew as a teenager that you know now?
As a father of a LGBTQ daughter how do I not rage at people who oppose the fact my daughter exist.
Seriously though this comment made me smile. You seem like a wonderful dad. You don't have to hold in your anger at people who are pissed at your daughter for simply existing. Take the protective father stereotype and use it for good! :)
America is quite a place.
There is so much to see, perhaps too much.
And as much as there is to see there is a ton not to see.
Just like any country and continent, there are skippable places.
And skippable isn't a bad thing.
Redditor ArdianNuhijiwanted some advice about traveling this great land of ours.
"What parts/states of America should be avoided during a cross country road trip as a European?"
I'm not a fan of super hot, so watch out in the South. The heat can kill you.
2 Weeksrenee zellweger chicago GIF by MIRAMAXGiphy
"We just did a road trip from Chicago down through St Louis and Memphis to New Orleans. Then back to Chicago through Huntsville, Nashville and Indianapolis. Took 2 weeks. We've previously done road trips on the east and west coasts and I did a Miami-San Francisco-Seattle-Vancouver-Chicago-New York trip back in 2000."
"The interstates are great when you need to get between cities fast but it's fun to take the smaller roads and stop in the places you pass through. In some states there's a lot of nothing but then it's even more fun when you can stop for lunch in a great diner in a tiny town. Depending where you're from you might be alarmed by the poor road design and poor driving."
"Be aware that there can be sharp exits and traffic lights on huge wide highways. Exits on the wrong side (from the fast lane) are pretty common on urban interstates. 'Welcome Centers' at rest areas at state borders are (in my experience) often staffed by really lovely and helpful people. Have fun!"
"As a Canadian: We took a road trip down to Mississippi one time, just me, my ex and a friend of ours. We decided to take the backroads there instead of taking the Interstate, so we wound up in lots of places in rural US. Quite frankly, as a guy roaming in the middle of nowhere with two college girls... I never felt unsafe."
"There were some interesting 'Deliverance' moments, like when we stopped at a gas station in the middle of nowhere to get gas and hit the head. Two guys wearing only overalls, chewing chaw sitting out front, greeting us with only grunts and spits. It was like something right out of a movie and we were expecting to get skinned... but everything was fine."
DO NOT SPEED THROUGH SMALL TOWNS!!!
"As far as danger, you're not gonna be in any danger, unless you go hunting for bears or wind up in the ghettos of Detroit. Don't drive into NYC (mainly Manhattan island) the traffic is awful and parking will cost you a pretty penny (Pence? Man, I'm American.) DO NOT SPEED THROUGH SMALL TOWNS. Police get bored and they will pull you over faster than you can hit the brake."
"On the interstate you can match speed with the rest of traffic, but good rule of thumb is to not go more than 10 mph over speed limit. Finally, avoid side-of-the-highway tourist traps, like random moccasin stores or giant rubberband balls. They're not dangerous, but the products will be subpar and overpriced. (I'm looking at you, Osceola Cheese Factory)."
It's so Big!
"I feel like I should warn you that many Europeans vastly underestimate how large the USA is. You could drive for 7 hours in Texas and still be in Texas. It would take you three days to get from one end of California to the other. Pick which states you want to go to, plan your route that way, plan for it to take at least a week."
"Edit: because some Europeans got pressed in the replies, no, I’m not insinuating that you don’t know geography. I’m warning you about the mistakes that European tourists tend to make while visiting the US. You’re not gonna road trip from New York, to Las Vegas, to San Francisco, to Seattle. It’s just not going to happen."
Several DestinationsLets Go Falling GIF by BARMERGiphy
"Nowhere is really worthy of 'avoiding,' the actually dangerous areas aren’t places tourists would really seek out anyway."
"I suppose certain areas could be boring, depending on your preferences. Really I would advise the US is vast, so pick like 6 or seven destinations and do research. Don’t try to see the whole country in one go. I’ve lived here for decades and haven’t seen half of it."
It's all a give and take. Every road has a different journey.
Just BlahSpongebob Squarepants Reaction GIF by NickelodeonGiphy
"The biggest threat is boredom. Are you sure you don’t want to road-trip the east coast and then fly to Vegas and then drive up the California coast? I have driven cross country twice and it’s a lot of hours of nothing. Then maybe you see the worlds largest baseball bat or rubber band ball and then several more hours of nothing."
"If you're interested in scenery, the upper west has some phenomenal mountains to see. Montana and Idaho offer some spectacular scenery in my opinion."
"Only thing I'd warn about Montana or other more rural states is that understand that you won't always find a hotel for miles, cell service can disappear for like 100 miles, and GPS does not necessarily work off of highways. You don't want to go up some dirt road and end up stranded in hot/cold conditions with no idea where you are and no cell service."
good sense of the character...
"If you’re doing a road trip, keep in mind that the huge main arteries (like I-95 on the east coast) usually wont give you a good sense of the character of cities or the towns. Those large interstates are really just for traveling, and to get you from one place to another quickly with food, gas and restrooms easily accessible. Most of the really interesting stuff in a town or a city will be on local roads and highways. Don’t judge a place based solely on what you can see from an interstate!"
"'I support you OP. Quit listening to this There's nothing to see in the middle' bulls**t. If all you want to do is the same touristy crap as everyone else, then sure, see NY, California, and go home. But if you're coming here to say you've experienced American life, go out in the middle. Hang out with the locals and let them show you why they're still there. There's so much awesome crap to see that's completely underappreciated."
Just Go Out Thereturning up road trip GIFGiphy
"None of them; every state is unique and has amazing parts to them. They also have shi**y parts, but most of them places tourists would want to go aren’t bad. No tourist is going to some small racist town in the country or going to visit the shi**y part of the city."
Get out there kids and see it all. Be safe.
What would you add or remove from this list? Let us know in the comments section!
It's nearly spooky season!
You know what that means: Time to curl up on the couch, make some popcorn, and watch some horror movies.
But what if you're not much of a horror aficionado and you're just getting started out?
Are there any classics you might want to check out?
What about anything new that's received good reviews? Where to begin?
People told us about the best horror films they've seen after Redditor AltruisticPower asked the online community,
"What is the best horror movie you have ever seen?"
Pet Sematary (1989)
"Pet Sematary. The fact that a possessed cat is the main antagonist is a really unique concept."
Unfortunately, I don't particularly care for either version of this tale because neither one has managed to even capture the feeling of dread that is so pervasive in the book, but there is no denying that the original film certainly leaves you with an impression.
The Blair Witch Project (1999)
The Blair Witch Project.
I know the whole "found footage" genre has been done to death now, but this was one of the first movies to adopt this method and it worked beautifully. You have to remember that this movie came out before the internet/social media....so when the marketing material claimed it was real, there really wasn't much of a way to disprove it.
I still remember leaving the cinema as a 15-year-old shaking with fear. A superbly made, suspenseful horror movie which still holds up to this day."
It seems cool to hate this movie now, but you know what? I love it to pieces. It's incredible, and one of the only movies to give me chills even while watching it in broad daylight.
The Shining (1980)
"Since it's a Kubrick movie it deserves to be watched on a larger screen with decent speakers. Lights off. It's probably better watched in the dead of winter as well. It's the kind of movie that's a whole mood.
The book is also one of King's best and it's so different from the movie that both are great in their own right."
A classic that I never get tired of. I've seen it many, many times and it's brilliant.
"Saw. I think what made Saw so great was that it was just an ordinary guy doing these things. No monsters, no supernatural stuff. That's what made it so scary."
The first Saw blew my mind when I was younger. Unfortunately, the sequels, save for perhaps the first one, were pretty lackluster. It's amazing this series has gone on so long.
"I think the original Halloween is probably about as perfect as a horror could ever be. It's perfect in every way."
It's a pretty excellent film and it holds up for a reason. Rewatchable as hell!
The Thing (1982)
"John Carpenter's The Thing is my favorite. It has fantastic effects, the story keeps you on the edge of your seat, and the characters are great and believable."
Perhaps the finest horror remake out there? It's possible, friends.
"Ghostwatch is a slow burn but amazing. The entire movie is done as a British television programme about a haunted house."
One of my favorites. It is remarkably unnerving, particularly the very last scene.
Lake Mungo (2008)
"Lake Mungo got into my head and won't move out. It's the kind of film that requires a second viewing."
I wanted to love this one, but did not. It was fine. There is another film, Megan Is Missing, which provides a much worse shock in the final third of the film.
"Angst - I don't know if I can call this is a "horror movie" in the traditional sense. It's absolutely horrific, sure. But it's a pure art film. A f**** up one. The plot isn't complicated, and it's not long. I won't "ruin it" but suffice to say it's probably the most accurate depiction of a sexual sadist you're ever going to watch."
This one is truly a sight for the ages. Not for the faint of heart, at all. I don't say that mildly.
"I was around 8 when I tried seeing the first Aliens movie. That first chest burster scared the s**t out of me."
And Aliens takes the series in an even crazier direction than the first one! Still, nothing can compare to that original.
Well, what are you waiting for? You might want to queue these up, whether you've seen them already or not. A good horror movie is always worth revisiting, even long after it stops scaring you!
Have some recommendations of your own? Tell us more in the comments below!
It's never fun to be lied to, particularly by your significant other.
Sometimes we discover that they were lying to us in order to surprise us for our birthday or anniversary, making the dishonesty easily forgiven.
In other instances, however, their lies were all to cover up something much less celebratory.
For better or worse, some people's partners are very convincing liars.
Others however are simply unable to keep a secret, and their stories or explanations to cover things up only make things worse.
Redditor CanadianKiss was eager to hear the most absurd and ridiculous lies people ever heard from their significant others, leading them to ask:
"What was the most insane lie an S/O told you?"
Keep Your Panties On!
"After I found out my wife was having an affair, I snooped through her email, saw she bought 5 pairs of lingerie over the past several months that I had never seen."
"When confronted about it she said she liked the progress she has been making in the gym and just wanted to see how she looked in them and threw them away after she tried them on."- DrMilzie
"Told me she was a veterinarian and even had a degree hanging on her wall."
"My parents own a small farm so I asked her for advice and the answers were always questionable."
"My gut was telling me something is off."
"Googled her school and asked some basic questions that anyone who went should know."
"It was all a lie."- Auditory_Whiplash
The Worst Kind Of Lie
"That the baby was mine."- shilling70baby daddy GIF by Face The TruthGiphy
It's All About The Anticipation...
"That there was spaghetti waiting for me when I get back."
"There was no spaghetti waiting for me."- IWannaBeMade1
"That he didn’t like honey when he did."
"It’s insane to me because what’s the point?"
Some People Don't Even Try...
“'I got gonorrhea from cutting myself on a broken bong'."
"Survey says, that’s a lie!"- CautiousOwl02True Love Weed GIF by GIPHY Studios OriginalsGiphy
"That I was the one who was destroying our marriage for being suspicious all the while she was the one cheating."-shenanigansgalores
Faking Cancer? Seriously?
"I broke up with this dude after only a couple of dates."
"A week later he hits me up asking to take me to lunch bc he just found out he had cancer."
"He tricked me into a year-long relationship based on a cancer lie."
"I believe karma is a b*tch though."- crunchyleafs_
"She called me three months after we broke up to tell me I was right."
"'All that tanning has given me skin cancer'."
"I asked which kind."
"She couldn't remember what the doctor called it."
"I asked, 'Is it lymphoma?'"
"She said, 'Yeah, that's the one.'"
"I hung up."- Spodson
"That she was an orphan."
"Her family was very surprised."- Garlic_Bread_865589orphan GIFGiphy
The key to a healthy relationship is honesty, barring of course covering up a surprise which will make your partner happy.
And when the only way to stay in a relationship is through lies and deceit, it's probably time to start re-evaluating how well things are going.
Ironically, that's when it becomes time to really be "honest" with yourself.
Getting struck by lighting, winning the lottery, meeting someone else with your exact name who also shares your birthday.
For better or worse, the likelihood of any of these things happening to you is incredibly small.
And yet, there are still a handful of lucky, or unlucky, people who have experienced one, or all, of the above.
Even if the odds are against us by a significant margin, some people will go through an experience which they would never in a million years dream would happen to them.
Leaving them with quite some stories to tell.
Redditor scared4lyf was curious to hear more about the statistically unlikely experiences people have gone through, leading them to ask:
"What statistically rare thing happened to you?"
"My birth is in a medical journal and my mom still gives me crap about it almost 40yrs later."
Due to my mom's low rib cage and high uterus, I was stuck in the bottom of her rib cage."
"The doctors were convinced I didn't have a head and told my mom her whole pregnancy that I only had a brain stem and she should abort."
"Lo and behold she goes into labor and they rush her in to do a C-section, only to discover I'm stuck."
"They end up laying her all the way open and cutting 3 ribs to get me out."
"She ended up stapled back together."
"(Yay for 1980s science."
" She gave her doctors so much hell about her being right."- Silaquix
Blessed With Strong Bones!
"I've been hit by a semi truck twice, and both times escaped with minor injuries."- mydogsaysimcoolso fetch mean girls GIF by Coolidge Corner TheatreGiphy
Frequently Chased By Death
"I was pronounced dead at 6 weeks old."
"I found a dead body when I was 10."- Smoochmypie
"Pick Yourself Up, Dust Yourself Off, And Start All Over Again!"
"I’ve broken my ankles on 5 separate occasions."
"I also have flat feet. "
"Ironically I love running!"- ItsMyCakedayIRL
"Accidentally discovered during another surgery."
"No idea there was a tumor the size of an egg on my appendix."- Low_Bus_5395
A Mighty Wind...
"Got hit by a tornado."
"They don’t tell you about how it sucks the air out of the room while you’re inside it."- FriendlyFiberAngry British Summer GIF by moonbugGiphy
Talk About Victim Of Circumstance
"I was born in jail"- cavallinm
You Can Have Too Much Wisdom...
"I had 5 wisdom teeth."
"4 normal ones and 1 tiny one."- more_merkins
"My dad my uncle and me were all born on 8/11 different years."- KimchiandfriesHappy Birthday GIF by Eat'n ParkGiphy
Some people have all the luck, and some apparently have none at all!
All the more reason we should never assume that any unlikely experience will never happen to us...