For many insecure fellas out there, anything that is not completely in line with the behavior of John Wayne in an old western film is to be avoided like the plague.


For such dudes, to really throw off the scent, not only is any and all emotionally expressive behavior NEVER displayed, but it must be called out when other, lesser men engage in that kind of moral transgression.

This finger pointing often takes a specific form: calling it "gay." It's a bit absurd, as the insult arises from a feeling that a man isn't performing gender right. But being gay has nothing to do with gender.

Hilarity ensues, though, when the calling out becomes so paranoid and vigilant that very strange things are deemed "gay."

u/ma_damn_blueberry asked, "Straight men of Reddit: what's the strangest thing you've been told not to do because 'that's gay'?"

A Real Man Would Start Over

I was reading a book and a couple dudes called me gay. Not for reading a book, but because I was using a bookmark.

u/RJ1337

Unsustainable 

There was a thread on here a while back where some poor girl told the world about an ex who wouldn't wipe himself or wash his genitals cause "touching a penis is gay"

u/amc7262

Can't Imagine How Ugly the Cup Holder Dispute Got

My brother-in-law and I went to a movie. He told me it was gay to sit next to him. I told him to stop being a b*tch and I sat right next to him. For the entire movie.

u/writerintheory1382

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A Very Thin, Hollow, Dr. Pepper Filled Penis

Use a straw.

Because apparently it's like having a tiny peen in your mouth.

I still use straws and haven't had the urge to be with a man yet.

u/PI3M3I

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"No Being Dry!"

Linen shopping. By my best friend.

That's nice bro, but I need towels. Deal with it.

u/Shiasurasa

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A Far Cry From "No Thank You"

A guy in the bus offered his seat to a woman that was standing. She looked at him and said "Are you gay or something?" like it's gay to be polite.

u/Akinory13

The Long Stem Mimosa Glass Really Set Off the Alarms

Brunch. If steak, eggs and alcohol at noon are gay, well then f*ck it.

u/knaugh

The Most Aggressive Review of a Pedicure

Get a pedicure. Holy f*ck that sh*t feels so good!

u/Ducas24

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A Stone Would be Hotter

Girl - "Oh, I thought you were gay"

Me - "What?!? Haha, noooo. Why did you think that?"

Girl - "Because you were smiling so big and laughing a lot"

u/Titanruss

Geographical Determinism

I grew up in California before moving to the east coast as a teenager.

I've been told all Californian's are gay or at least bi, more than once.

iph0ne

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High Schoolers are Insane 

I wore my watch on my right hand. Apparently when i was in high school that gay as f*ck.

jumpstart58

Heterosexuality is Generated From the Plaque Between Your Teeth

Floss my teeth.

Apparently, gingivitis is something only hetero people have.

DeadWombats

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Bear in Tights 

I sew renaissance type costumes as a hobby. I've been told I should stop doing it because sewing is either gay or women's work.

On the plus side I am a 6'2 bear of a man so when I tell them to f*ck off, they usually leave it be.

BattleFerrett

Fleetwood Mac. Nuff Said.

Enjoy female singers/fronted bands. I came from a very stupid place with a very stupid culture.

mindfeces

Clearly a Huge Freud Fan

My sister told me that her Psychology teacher explained that every man that went to see a prostitute were secretly gay because they were seeking out the previous man's penis inside the prostitute's vagina.

inckalt

"Citrus is a Fruit, My Hands are Tied"

Tried to order a Mojito at a bar back when they were all the rage since I had only heard of them and never tried one.

Waiter looked at me and said "No. You're not gay so i wont get that for you."

But...i just wanted to try a popular cocktail....

RemedialChaosTheory

Straight and Wet

My sister told me this gem.

Her male friend said he hated being a guy because he COULDN'T USE AN UMBRELLA.

BoilEmMashEmBoilEm

"Lactose Proficient" is an Incredible Phrase

Drink milk. Especially chocolate milk. I've been singled out on 3 occasions, and was once called gay for it. By store clerks, no less.

I love milk and I'm lactose proficient, so I told them I'd use my lactose proficiency however I like.

BloodRedCobra

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Gay is the New Respectful

Having friends that are girls that you don't sexually harass.

premium_hunger

People Divulge Which Brands They Absolutely Swear By

Don't be alarmed: There are some terrible corporations out there (looking at you, Nestle) but there are also some great brands that are selling decent products.

I know, surprising, right? Maybe we've all just gotten used to brands selling things of questionable quality that when we stumble across something worthwhile it stuns us.

Hold on tight when you find a brand deserving of your loyalty!

People shared their thoughts with us after Redditor spwf asked the online community,

"What brand(s) do you swear by and why?"
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You know what would be great?

If society could just stop with arbitrary dress codes. If you're not working with the public, why should you have to dress up so much? If you're a police officer, then it makes sense that you'd wear a uniform that identifies you as a police officer. If you're Ted from IT who sits in the backroom all day, I really don't see why you have to come in every day in a suit and tie.

Let's just toss them out, shall we?

People shared their thoughts with us after Redditor Levels2ThisBrush asked the online community,

"What should be socially acceptable but isn't?"
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People Share Their Best 'F**k This, I'm Outta Here' Experiences
Tara Moore/GettyImages

As much as many of us don't like to disrupt the status quo, there is only so much time a person can tolerate a miserable situation before things become so unbearable that they ultimately have to peace out.

For some people, it takes a while for them to reach a breaking point. Eventually, there comes a time when they realize their self-worth is more important than continuing to please others who don't appreciate them for the sake of keeping up with appearances.

Keep reading...Show less
People Break Down Which Things Always Taste Good Whether They're Served Hot Or Cold
Photo by Erol Ahmed on Unsplash

As we enter into the summer months, people now have to decide whether or not they want their morning coffee to be hot or iced.

Lucky for them, it's delicious either way.

One could make an argument that foods that are equally delicious hot or cold are perhaps the best, or at least the most reliable.

And this can include foods which are not customarily sold both hot and cold (cold pizza anyone?).

Redditor NectarineOther4989 was curious to hear which foods people enjoy either hot or cold, leading them to ask:

"What is something that tastes good both hot and cold?"
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