Straight Men Confess Who They Secretly Have A 'Man Crush' On
Reddit user winkeltwinkle asked: 'Straight men of Reddit who is the hottest man?'
Personal preferences aside, there are some people that are almost universally recognized as physically attractive.
It's common in society for most people to comment on another person's looks.
But heterosexual men are generally discouraged from remarking on other men's appeal.
That doesn't mean they don't have man crushes though!
Reddit user winkeltwinkle asked:
"Straight men of Reddit who is the hottest man?"
But would heterosexual men respond?
"Society: Most men are insecure about their sexuality."
"Reddit: Straight men of reddit, who is the hottest man?"
"Most Men: OH f*ck yes, here we go!"
"Bless this site and bless these men."
Respond they did, with enthusiasm.
"Aragorn, son of Arathorn."
"Every man will momentarily hesitate when scheduling a haircut, because deep down he feels like if he let his hair grow just a little longer, he could look exactly like Aragorn."
"Funnily enough Legolas was my favourite as a kid."
"Now I’m grown up, I realise how humble and headstrong Aragorn is. He’s my favourite."
"Henry Cavill. I'd gladly spend a day with him just talking about geek stuff."
"Look I'm as straight as they come. Married with two kids and everything."
"But all I'm saying is if Henry Cavill wants to tie me down and whisper the specs to his new PC tower in his Geralt voice, who am I to say no?"
"Samehere, but he won't even need to tie me down."
"For him I'll switch teams willingly."
"I didn't say I would be tied down involuntarily."
"I usually couldn't tell you if some guy off the street is handsome or not. Like... am I the handsome one out of my group of friends or am I the ugly one? Somewhere in the middle? I have no clue."
"Henry Cavill, though, that dude is a 10. Even I can tell you that."
"I'm not gay, OK, I'm not. I like chicks."
"But if Chris Evans' Captain America needed to get off, like, to save the world from Hydra or something, and I was the only one around?
"Well I'm a patriot dammit! I'd let him [have sex with] me."
"Hell yeah brother, a true patriot you are."
"I understood that reference."
"1980s Harrison Ford."
"Specifically as Indiana Jones."
"Handsome face. Lean build. Shirt hanging open. Sweaty as f*ck. Littlebit of 'tude."
"Harrison Ford in Blade Runner is peak male form."
"I would totally go gay for Hugh Jackman."
"Good looking, great actor, great singer, great dancer and seems like an all around cool dude with a great sense of humor."
"This is the one! He is beautiful and talented, inside and out."
"Humble, honest, caring, down-to-earth, and shredded as all heck."
"I thought I didn’t have a homosexual bone in my body, but that scene where he comes popping out of the tank as Wolverine … something awoke inside of me."
"I love that so many of the gruff and tough characters are usually played by such kind and fun men.
"Say what you will about the Fast and Familyous movies, but Vin Diesel looks like he would be fun to hang out with. And Dwayne Johnson looks like he would be able to make you enjoy getting into a workout routine."
"[Hugh Jackman is a] super nice guy as well."
"I met him a few years ago while helping a friend to move, who incidentally was a Broadway actor. Hugh was there as well lugging boxes with the rest of us."
"I went to Barbie for Margot Robbie, I stayed for Ryan Gosling."
"My straight male fiancé says the same."
"As soon as the 'I am Kenough' sweater appeared, he leaned over to me and almost tearfully whispered- 'I really need that sweatshirt'.”
"The only time I thought my wife was going to legit fight her bestie was a group road trip to his brewery west of Austin, and they were arguing over who got 'dibs' if they spotted Jensen."
"I finally told them I did."
"I'm a straight man and I binge watched Supernatural and I think it was the only time I was actually emotional when the show ended, like I genuinely missed Dean for a minute there."
"Deep voice, tall, perfect face genetics, total dork. I'd love to see him in something with Cavill."
"I keep forgetting he's tall, considering he spent 15 years standing next to his moose of a brother/costar."
"Ewan McGregor. Surprised I haven't seen him mentioned."
"He looks good, has a Scottish accent, and seems genuinely nice and wholesome."
"My husband is straight but he would literally push me out of the way if it meant making eye contact with Ewan McGregor."
"I’ve had a man crush on Ewan McGregor since watching The Long Way Around."
"My wife understands I’d leave her for him if he asked me."
"Robert Redford in his younger years. The guy had an annoyingly winning smile that just reminded us all of what we'll never be."
"Add Paul Newman to that list - the movies he did with Redford are gold. Great chemistry between those two."
"I know it doesn't need to be said, but a young Marlon Brando is probably the hottest actor of all time."
Define Hottest Man...
"Power went out last night, so we don’t have air conditioning."
"Not to brag, but it’s me."
We all have our personal preferences, but some men just seem to be almost universally admired.
So did your hottest man make the list?
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The world is a very scary place. This fact can be easy to forget when we’re going about our daily lives, but all it takes is one crazy incident to remind us of how true this really is. And for folks who have experienced eerie encounters with dangerous people or circumstances that could easily have caused them a lot of problems, this fact remains ever-present in their minds no matter where they go or what they do. Here are 50 unforgettable stories about encounters with people that most of us would probably prefer never to meet again.
Man’s Best Friendblack white and brown long coated dog on brown dirt road during daytimePhoto by Andy Lyell on Unsplash
My family has a Bernese mountain dog called Ava, who is very big. She’s a quiet and lazy dog, but she also seems to be alert at all times. One night, my parents went out for dinner and left me at home with Ava. I was downstairs watching TV and my lounge is right next to the front door. At around 8:00 PM, the doorbell rang.
I opened the door to see a guy in fairly plain clothes standing there. He told me that he had a delivery for me. I was confused because he didn’t look like a delivery driver, and he had no parcel. Suddenly, I turn my head and see another guy around the side of my driveway which goes to our back door. This other man is clearly walking towards my back door.
I freak out and the guy at the door notices this. He barges through, shouting for the other guy. This is when Ava wakes up and begins to let out the loudest bark I’ve ever heard, making the guy stumble back. She rushed towards him and jumped up, grabbing his shoulder and literally throwing him out the door. His buddy came along, but saw Ava and started to run.
The other guy managed to slip out of Ava’s grip and run down the road. I somehow managed to get Ava to stay so I didn’t lose her, and they got away. I was so shaken up. I called my parents and then the authorities, and I gave them a statement. It’s safe to say that Ava got plenty of treats from then on, and I always keep her nearby when I am on my own.
I live in Tokyo and commute via those famously crazy crowded trains daily. There exists on them this kind of unspoken agreement that everyone works together to make this suck as little as possible. But that’s only when the trains are full. About two stops before mine, the train goes from sardine can to everyone on this train could lay on the seats and have room left over.
So, usually, I can sit down at this point. I'm also very obviously not a Japanese woman. But despite my appearance, I'm fluent in Japanese. One day, I sit down when the train empties out, ready to enjoy the 10 minutes of sitting that I get on my hour-long commute. I'm sitting with my legs crossed, as there are maybe ten people in the whole car and I'm not in anyone's way.
All of a sudden, a hand reaches out and grabs my bare knee. I jolt straight out of my skin, rip out my headphones, and look up at the hand's owner. It's some skinny old Japanese dude, at least in his 60s. He points at my legs and, in slightly broken English, says: "You must not cross legs on the train!" I'm totally bewildered by this.
I start to tell him in Japanese that the train isn't crowded right now, and that I'm not in anyone's way. But he doesn't like this answer. He starts to reach for my legs again. I scream as loud as I can, "DON'T TOUCH ME!" Thankfully, this was enough to get him to stop that, as another thing you don't do on trains here is make a fuss.
A Taste Of His Own Medicine
I was standing in line at the local pharmacy to get my prescriptions. This is a small town and I am a regular there, so they know me on sight. I was behind a couple of other people in line, and there were a couple of people behind me. I kept feeling a tickle in my hair in the back of my head, but every time I looked behind me, the guy there was a few steps back and looking at the floor.
This happened several times by the time I reached the front of the line. The pharmacist told me she wanted to talk to me about my medication in the consultation room. I thought this was weird, because we both knew I had been on this medication for years and would be for life. Nothing new. I get back to the room and close the door, and she comes in from the pharmacy.
She told me that the man behind me had been stepping forward, sticking his nose in my hair, and smelling it before stepping back and looking at the floor. This shook me pretty badly as this is such weird behavior, especially in my little town. The pharmacy staff insisted on having me wait there until the guy was distracted by another pharmacy employee.
They then had a security guard walk me to my car and watch me drive off, to make sure I was gone before Hair Sniffer came out and saw what car I was driving or what direction I was going in. I still use this pharmacy and some of the same people still work there. I will always be grateful that they took the initiative to make sure I was safe that day.
Grin And Bare It
A few years ago, I was living alone in a little house. It had a heavy back door that would swell up after it rained. This always made it get really tough to open, and it would make a lot of noise. Late one night, I had passed out on my sofa in the living room on the opposite side of the house. But I suddenly woke up to a strange sound. Netflix was still blaring away on my laptop, but I guess I had felt a vibration or movement.
As I slowly squinted my eyes open, I realized the outline of someone was standing still in the hallway looking down at me. They were not very large or tall based on how much space they took up in the door frame. Being completely disoriented in my not-quite-awake-yet state, my mind assumed that it must be my girlfriend.
I was naked at the time, so I pulled back my blanket with my legs sprawled apart and called to her in my best deep voice "C'mere baby!" I guess once they realized I was a naked 200-pound man beckoning to them with my private parts, the person immediately turned on their heels and booked it for the back door. By the time I stumbled up to the door, all I could hear was them taking off into the darkness at a full sprint.
A Devoted Follower
I was 13 years old and on vacation with my parents in Turkey. We were at an all-inclusive hotel and enjoying the holiday. The hotel was full of tourists from different countries. There was this one guy, around 20 years old, who was staring at me for some time. I felt uncomfortable and asked him how he was doing. Wrong choice.
The next few days, everywhere I went, he also suddenly appeared. Not flirting, just lurking for hours and watching me. He had a really strange vibe around him and I felt I shouldn't be alone with him. Now, I was still young and my parents didn't want to leave me alone in a foreign country. So he couldn’t really bother me at any point.
But one night, there was entertainment in the hotel, which became boring to me after some time. I told my parents I wanted to go up to our hotel room and that I would see them in the morning. I left and walked to the elevator. I didn’t know it, but I was making a dire mistake. The guy who had been watching me for days saw me leaving, and he had followed me.
When I saw him also coming into the elevator, I was shaking with fear. He looked at me silently with a sinister smile. "This is it." I thought. Who knows what horrible plans he had for me. And just before the doors of the elevator were closing, someone stuck his boot between in order to prevent the doors from closing. I am not kidding, all I could see was a boot.
The doors opened and it was my dad. He saw that the creepy guy was leaving at the exact time I had left and didn't trust it. He looked the guy in the eye and said hello. My dad took me to my hotel room. To this day, I am so glad for the rescue because I don't want to know what would've happened if he didn't.
Home Sweet Homeman in gray crew neck shirt standing beside white curtainPhoto by Emmanuel Ikwuegbu on Unsplash
When I was 13 years old, my family moved from a village to a city. This city had a fairly high homelessness rate, so of course, there were always a lot of people looking for somewhere to stay. An old family friend of mine is a letting agent, so he often lets me use some of the unoccupied houses as a sort of recording studio for music that I create in my spare time.
He is totally fine with me using the houses for this purpose as long as I keep them clean and clear out for a while whenever there are viewings. This arrangement works fine for me. One night, after recording at one of the houses, I realized that I had forgotten my wallet there. So, I cycled back, got my wallet, and decided to check the rooms since the door hadn’t been locked properly.
I go upstairs and open the door to one of the bedrooms. Lo and behold, there was a man in his mid-30s lying on the bed like it was his own home. Both of us just looked at each other, completely startled. Neither of us said anything. I guess we came to some sort of non-verbal agreement, and I showed him out. Definitely a creepy experience…
When I was about 14 years old, my parents were out one night. They left me and my little sister home alone. It was about 10:00 PM when the lights suddenly went out. This used to happen sometimes in my country, since it’s a new country and really poor. But that time, I noticed something out of the ordinary. Only the lights in our house were out, and my neighbors’ lights were still on.
I had a bad feeling, so I quickly locked all the doors and closed the blinds. I told my little sister to hide behind the couch and not to go out no matter what happened. I hid somewhere else with a knife and tried to call my mom. She didn’t pick up, so I waited. After some time, I thought it was over, so I got out of my hiding place and headed to the kitchen to look out the window.
Before I could even get close, I heard a terrifying sound. It was the doorknob turning. It didn’t open, so the person tried it again, now violently. That’s when I panicked and I shouted: “WHO ARE YOU? GET AWAY FROM MY HOUSE. I JUST CALLED 9-1-1!” I heard footsteps and then nothing. I went to the other room and looked out the window. From there, I saw someone running out of my backyard.
My sister was crying so I comforted her while we still stayed hidden until my parents came home. We told them everything and my dad said that whoever it was, he had intentionally cut the house’s electricity to scare us. To this day, every time the electricity goes out, I get kinda scared and I’m glad we are all safe and well.
Salt And Pepper
I was standing right outside my apartment when an unknown person snuck around a corner and sprayed me with pepper spray while I was looking at my phone. I could make out a tall, thin man with a backpack walking away with his hands in his pockets before I lost the ability to keep my eyes open. There were no other people on the sidewalk in either direction.
I didn't see his face. He didn't say anything or try to take anything from me. He didn't even stick around to watch me be all messed up. Just walked away. Like nothing happened. I'm very thankful that I was able to feel for my keys and get back into my building, but then I started to realize that I could have permanent damage if I didn't get to a sink.
I couldn't find the key to my apartment. I was starting to not be able to breathe. I pounded on every door I could feel until my neighbor, whom I had never met before this moment, opened up for me. She let me bust into her bathroom and toss water everywhere. I felt so terrible for just commandeering her bathroom and bringing in that smell to her place.
But I will be eternally grateful to this lady for helping me. The officers that showed up didn't find the guy, and now I'm wondering whether this was a random attack or if this dude had been waiting for me for some unknown reason. At this point, I have no reason to suspect that I’ll ever learn the real reason behind this bizarre incident.
An Uninvited Guest
When I was nine years old, my sister and I were doing swimming classes together at our community pool. One evening, after my mom had picked us up from the pool, she told us to get ready to go to the grocery store. So, I went upstairs to shower and get the chlorinated water off me before we left home. My sister was changing in our room. While I was in the shower, I heard someone come into the bathroom and start rummaging through the drawers.
I asked what my sister was looking for because I couldn't see through the frosted glass and, at that point, I assumed it was her looking for something for her hair. It wasn’t. All of a sudden, this strange man jumped into the shower with me, pulled off his shirt, and draped it over my head. I screamed at the top of my lungs and crouched down into a ball to protect myself.
My incessant screaming and squirming scared the guy off after a few seconds. He jumped out and ran out the back door. Seconds later, my dad came bolting into the room to see if I was okay. I was scared out of my mind, but thankfully I was okay. Unbeknownst to us, earlier in the day, an employee of ours had left the front door open while doing some work outside and a man snuck into our home. This man had secretly been hiding inside our house all day long. I was too traumatized to go into the bathroom by myself for like a year and a half after that.
Something Much Worse Than A Ghost
I was about seven years old. My brother was about 10. It was well past our bedtime when our mom woke up off the couch to put us to bed. Our dad worked construction out of town back then, so it was often just us three at the house for weeks at a time. Up the stairs and to the immediate right was our parents' bedroom. Going left put you in the middle of a hallway.
Taking another left down that hallway led to my brother's room. The opposite end was my room, which was also across the hall from our upstairs bathroom. At either end of the hallway are windowed doors that we always kept locked and rarely used. The door on my end led to a balcony overlooking our front yard, and the door on my brother's end opened to our back porch.
My brother and mom both had a habit of waking up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom. I only knew this because I was always a light sleeper and they just couldn't help flushing with the door wide open. This night, however, my brother stopped on his way to his room and came back towards the bathroom. That’s when he made a comment that chilled me to the bone.
He told me: "I'm gonna try to pee before I go to bed tonight. The past few nights, I've been too afraid to walk to the bathroom. I keep seeing a man wearing stripes at the end of the hallway." I don't know if my mom wrote it off as my brother telling ghost stories to try to scare me, or if she was already half asleep and didn't catch it, but she didn't react at all to my brother's confession.
I, on the other hand, was terrified by it. The fear of seeing a ghost-like that at the end of the hallway or through the windows is the reason I started running from the stairs to my bedroom at night. Years later, when I was about 18, my mom and I were having a conversation in her car about a dog named Max that we’d had for a very short time when I was little.
We were sharing stories about Max's tendency towards destroying my shoes and other unruly behaviors, when my mom blurted out, "Do you remember that time I opened the front door for the cops and Max ran inside to the kitchen and started tearing open that big bag of dog food we had?" This really caught me by surprise.
In all the years I lived in that house, we never once called law enforcement as far as I was aware. I asked her what she was talking about and she looked equally surprised, as if she had just revealed something by accident. Then, she said: "Oh, that's right! I never told you about this because you were too young at the time…”
She continued: "One night, I woke up hearing noises outside my window and, when I looked outside, I saw a man staring into my bedroom." She went on to describe how turning on the lights caused him to take off running, and how she had grabbed my dad's pistol before calling the authorities. I started to ask some more questions about the experience until something clicked in my head.
My mom said she couldn’t remember all the details she gave them when they showed up, but she remembered describing the man as a tall white male, wearing a striped shirt and jeans, with short dark hair, or something like that. They said it matched the description of a man they were looking for in the area. It turns out he had just escaped from behind bars, where he’d been charged with murder.
Now, I know it sounds so obvious hearing those two stories back to back, but it wasn't until a few years ago, in my mid-20s, that I pieced together that my brother had unknowingly warned us about a murderer who had spent multiple nights staking out our home. Who knows what he had been planning to do…
After Hourspark with lampposts turned onPhoto by Marco Chilese on Unsplash
When I was in high school, I spent the better portion of my junior year being grounded. I was always in trouble for something and fighting with my parents. During one of these timeouts, a friend wanted to hang out. Being a teen, I wanted to hang out with my friends. I explained that I was in trouble, and he suggested that we wait until my parents were asleep so I could sneak out.
There was a park right next to my apartment building and it seemed innocent enough, so I agreed. My parents fell asleep and I could hear my stepdad snoring, so I tiptoed out of my house and met up with my friend. It was late, about 1:00 AM. As planned, we went to the park to smoke and hang out. We were sitting on the jungle gym, just talking, when we spotted another person walking around.
After a few moments, the person sees us and approaches us. He started asking us a bunch of questions, like: “Are you guys together?”, “What are you doing?”, “Where do you live?”, “Why are you here right now?”, “How old are you?” The person was obviously on some kind of substance and we politely tried to answer him without revealing any information about ourselves.
After a few minutes, the guy asked us if we wanted to come and see his house. Despite it being the middle of the night, we quickly said we had somewhere to be and rushed back to the car. We just sat there for a minute, not sure of what we avoided. All I could think about was that this guy could have done something terrible to me, and my parents would not have known what happened because I had snuck out.
Needless to say, that was the first and last time I ever snuck out of my house.
Changing Things Up
I'm a 14-year-old girl, but I’m often mistaken for 18 because of my shape. One time, I was at the YMCA with my sisters. We were swimming for a while and then I started to feel sick. My younger sister said, "You don't look good, maybe you should sit in the changing room for a while." I agreed. I went into the changing room for some peace and quiet, and luckily no one else was there.
I sat on one of the benches and closed my eyes. A few moments later, I heard someone come in. It was a guy who was tall, muscular, and genuinely good looking. I brushed it off thinking he was probably waiting on his girlfriend and came in to check on her or something. That is until he approached me and sat right next to me, so close our thighs were touching.
I was really surprised. I scooted over and gave him that “What do you think you're doing?” look. He smiled at me and said, "Don't worry girl, I'm not gonna hurt you." He proceeded to put his hand on my back. I stood up and slowly backed away. I was scared to run because he seemed athletic, so he probably could've caught me.
He asked me "How old are you baby?" in a sickeningly sweet tone. I say 14 and he nonchalantly says "Cool." So I asked how old he was, and he said "23." He then stood up and started walking over to me. I backed away from him. This was the turning point. That was the moment when I heard a bathroom stall open and there, standing in all her glory, was the lady who I'll call my hero.
She stepped out and I know she heard everything. That dude hightailed it outta there. The lady was nice and stayed with me for a while. Her name was Stacy. Thank you Stacy!
I Spy With My Little Eye
In December 2018, my ex and I split up after seven years in a relationship. I was new to the dating game so I didn’t want to just jump into it. In February, I met a guy at the bar. The second time I met him, we exchanged numbers. By the end of March, I was feeling pretty comfortable with him and invited him to a party at my house.
He stayed after the party and one thing led to another. After it was all said and done, I had a weird vibe from him. He was too pushy and it made me uncomfortable. So I asked him to leave. I planned to never speak to him again, that is until he started to text me from random numbers. He would say things like “Hope you have fun fishing” when I didn’t post on any social media about going fishing.
“I hope the movie was good” when I hadn’t posted anything online indicating that I was at the movies. He would text me and ask how I liked the bar whenever I was at the bar where I had met him with my friends. I had never told anyone or posted where we were going. We had no mutual friends who he could be getting the information from, so he was obviously following me.
The final straw came when my friends took me to Washington, DC for my 25th birthday celebration. We barhopped all over the city. Around 2:30 in the morning, we came out of a bar and decided to get cookies across the street. As we were coming out of the cookie shop, guess who pops up. You guessed it! He does. And I am not amused...
He goes “I hope visiting the monuments was fun earlier! I wanted to say hi earlier but since you haven’t been replying to my messages I didn’t wanna freak you out.” I was TERRIFIED. Thankfully, my friend's husband stepped in and called him out. He threatened to report him to the authorities. I changed my number and moved. Thankfully, I haven’t heard from him since.
Phoning It In
When I was 17 years old, my older sister took me to the mall to get a cell phone. The guy who sold it to us showed us several options and let me choose from a selection of phone numbers. He then set us up with a plan and we left. Pretty standard stuff. Nothing seemed too out of the ordinary…until I got a text later that evening.
"Hey, it's the guy who sold you your new phone." I don’t remember how I replied to that. What I do remember is that the guy kept texting me and calling me non-stop. He kept telling me how attractive I was and that we should be together. I told him that it wasn't a good time for me and that I was about to leave town for the entire summer.
He asked where I was going and offered to come along. He then offered to quit his job and leave the state with me on a whim. Again, he had only ever spoken to me in-person for around 15 minutes. I asked him to leave me alone, and to stop calling and texting me. He kept calling, I kept not answering. We eventually had to file a complaint and change my number.
Barking Up The Wrong Tree
I'm a 30-year-old female who lives with my fiancé and our two dogs. My huskies are not guard dogs. They never bark or howl. These dogs just love people so much. My brother-in-law and friends have walked in unexpectedly on multiple occasions, and the dogs don't make a peep. But on this one occasion, it was 8:00 PM and dark out, and I was home alone.
I was in the bathroom with the door closed and I had the blow dryer going, so I couldn't really hear anything going on around me. But when I suddenly heard one of the dogs howling, my ears perked up. I stopped the blow dryer and listened out. Then, I heard a faint knock and the dogs started going insane. Barking, howling, jumping into the window so loudly that I thought they'd break it.
I’m wondering what the heck is making them go crazy like that, maybe a skunk or something. I look out my bedroom window and see two men in hoodies standing at the front door. They start knocking louder. This time, one of the dogs jumps from the side window to the front door and starts growling and ramming his body into the door at full force.
I'm watching this from my bedroom window. As the dog jumps into the door, one of the men jumps back startled. He looks at the other guy, and then they just walk away. I called my fiancé and told him to get home right away. I watched the men walk away down the road. They weren’t selling anything, as they didn't stop at any other houses. I have no idea who they were.
Fairy Taleopen casement window near plantsPhoto by Ioann-Mark Kuznietsov on Unsplash
When I was way younger, I had gone into my bedroom alone to change into pajamas. Apparently, I then came back and asked my mom why Peter Pan was at my window and if we could let him in. She, of course, ran to my bedroom. Sure enough, someone had pulled the screen off my window and had opened it slightly. Needless to say, we moved shortly after that.
I was oblivious as to what was wrong because, hey, I got to meet Peter Pan!
When I was 11 years old, I was staying home alone with my little brother who was seven. At that time, it was about 9:00 at night. It was dark and rainy outside, and we were reading in our room right next to the front door, with a big window and open blinds. That's when I heard the front doorbell ring, followed by repeated rounds of knocking.
I thought my parents had arrived home, but found it strange that they didn't use the garage or their keys. I looked outside to try and see their car. I saw nothing but rain. As I approached the door, I heard a man's voice that was not my father's yell through the storm: "Would you like some cookies? We're selling Girl Scout cookies!"
I was shocked at this, considering the weather and time of day. Saying nothing, I checked the peephole and peered through the side window only to see that it was not a father with his girl as I had expected. My heart dropped. Standing there was just a fully grown man, maybe in his late 50s, with no box of cookies in sight, soaking on my doorstep.
I can remember the gut-wrenching feeling of having to check the locks while he was right on the other side. He heard this for sure. The two locks were the only thing separating myself and my brother from a potential monster. He continued to knock on the door and mention his cookies, as I considered calling the authorities.
That's when I remembered that the blinds were open in my room where my brother was, with the light on. As I turn the corner into the doorway, I see the man carefully peering into our window, possibly eyeing my brother who was focused on his book. My heart was pounding now as I began to panic. Using all of my willpower, I quickly turned off the lights and shut the blinds, in full view of the man.
As fast as I could, I double-checked all the locks in the house, closed all the blinds, and told my brother to go hang out in one of the big closets in the interior of the house with no windows. I didn't tell him what was going on so that he wouldn't be frightened. For some reason, I never did call law enforcement or my parents. I just waited in the hallway until the man left.
Thinking about it still gives me shivers. So many things could have gone wrong that night. My worst fear to this day is strangers getting to an unlocked door before I do.
When I was a student teacher, I was 21 and working with mostly seniors in high school, many of whom were 17 or 18 years old. One day, the mentor teacher I was working with pulled me aside from teaching my class to inform me that other teachers had overheard some students telling each other what they "wanted to do to me."
While disturbing, my friends and colleagues insisted that this was just a fact of being a young teacher working with high schoolers. The next day, a few girls in my class informed me that three specific boys were no longer just talking about what they WANTED to do, but were graphically describing what they were PLANNING on doing to me in the coming weeks in the parking lot after school.
I went to the administration immediately, and they handled it very quickly and professionally. I was very grateful for their support. I was never touched nor harmed by any of these students, thankfully. What scared the absolute wits out of me, however, was that less than a week later, one of those boys was pulled out of school by an officer.
I didn't find out immediately, but I eventually learned he was being held for the alleged assault of his younger sister. It still makes me sick just thinking about it. I genuinely hope to never meet him again. It's terrifying to think of what could have happened had I not had some wonderful staff and students looking out for me.
One Sunday afternoon, I was waiting at the bus stop alone after an outing with a friend. I saw a driver get onto an empty bus, so I asked him if he was going to be stopping at my stop. He said that he was not, so I said okay and continued patiently waiting for the right bus. A few minutes later, he pulls up beside me and motions to me to come onto the bus.
I figure that he has changed his route or something and wanted to let me know that he would now be passing by my stop, but as soon as I approached him he started making a whole bunch of creepy comments about my body. He was also making really awkward eye contact with me the entire time he was speaking. I started to climb back off the bus to get of there, but he grabbed my hand.
I wiggled myself free and ran away as fast as I could. I immediately reported him to the authorities.
It’s A Mall World After All
This happened about eight years ago in Germany. My daughters were four and two years old, respectively. It was a very nice morning, so I decided to take my girls to a little mall to walk around and do some shopping. My girls are and always were very well behaved and never ran away from me. Usually, we always held hands walking around in areas with many people.
On this day, the mall was almost empty. Still, the girls stayed on my hands. I noticed a man passing me. He looked at my daughters with a very stern look that gave me a bad vibe. I just brushed it off and kept walking. We wanted to go to a shoe store. This store had a very cute play area that the girls liked to go to.
As we entered the store, they asked if they could run ahead to the play area. I could see it from the entrance, so I told them yes and they took off. At that exact moment, that same strange man burst into the store and speed-walked past me towards my daughters. It didn’t even take me a second to realize that he was up to no good.
He was absolutely focused on getting to them, and fast. I instantly started yelling while running past him. I told my girls to come back right away. I am never very stern with them, so they knew that something was serious. He got thrown off by my yelling. I got to my daughters before he could, so he turned around and ran out of the store.
Drive My Carperson holding black iphone 5Photo by Tingey Injury Law Firm on Unsplash
I don't have a car, so Uber is my main mode of transportation to get to work. This morning, I requested an Uber a half hour before I had to be there and the pickup was supposed to take less than five minutes. But, for some reason, my Uber driver kept going around in circles. He ended up calling me asking for directions and I was telling him exactly where he needed to go.
But he just wasn’t listening. At that point, I was irritated and asked if there was a way he could cancel because I was going to be late. He said he couldn't, and ended up finding his way to my apartment at the time I was supposed to be at work. He kept apologizing and I would mumble, "It's fine, I just need to get there."
He ended up taking me to another store that was on the way and asked "This is it, right?" It took all of my patience not to just blow up at that point. I calmly gave him the directions to the actual store I work at and just told him to please listen to the GPS. We finally get to my job and I'm nearly 20 minutes late. I muttered, "Thanks," got out, and bolted to the office to clock in.
An hour or so into my shift, one of my managers came up to tell me that my Uber driver has been harassing the people in the front of the store, trying to get a hold of me or my manager to take fault and apologize for my being late. He tried four or five separate times to come inside. An hour later, a different manager lets me know that the driver is now blowing up the store's phone and begging to speak to me.
My manager suggested that I not leave alone that night, and that I be on the lookout in case he came back. I contacted Uber support multiple times to let them know. You wanna know what they did about it? They gave me a three-dollar credit! I made sure to give him a one-star rating so that I wouldn't get him as a driver again, but it's just scary to think that he knows where I work and live.
About four years ago, I was living with an ex-boyfriend, his aunt, and her boyfriend Len. I woke up in the middle of the night and had to pee. My ex was asleep in bed when I got up. I walked across the house and his aunt’s door was open. She and Len were both passed out. I made my way sleepily to the bathroom and saw that the light was on.
Since I knew everyone was asleep, I innocently assumed the aunt had left the light on. So I opened the door. I was wrong. I saw multiple things in a few seconds. The first thing I remember is that it smelled horrible, like poop. I also immediately noticed that someone had just taken a shower based on the steam. Then, I spotted a pile of clothes folded up and organized on the ground.
There was a random man on the toilet. I, having manners, and very much still half asleep, jumped, apologized, and closed the door. I panicked, went to my room, and texted the aunt. I said: “Hey, there is a man in the bathroom!” She texted back, “I know, it’s okay. He’s a friend of mine.” This calmed me down and I went back to sleep.
The next day, I bring it up when everyone is around. I was still shaken…but this is where it got so much worse. The aunt says she never texted me, as she was completely passed out. We soon realized that this guy had taken her phone into the bathroom, and that he himself had sent me that text. What in the world?? I was so confused and freaked out by this whole thing. It was the weirdest experience I’ve ever had.
I was around 10 or 11 years old when this happened, and I was home alone. The doorbell rang while I was watching TV, so I hastily moved my bowl of cereal and got up to answer the door. It was the mailman, who said we had gotten a package. But it was so big that he needed help carrying it in. Something felt off about him, as he wasn’t wearing a uniform, but a dirty white shirt and jeans.
I asked him where his truck was, because I didn’t see it parked out front. He said it was around the corner, and that I should just follow him out to grab my parcel. He kept telling me to go with him, but I politely said I wasn’t feeling well and that we would just get our mail from the post office. He said that would be a big hassle, and that I should just go out and get it then and there.
I said I had to get my shoes on from upstairs and he waited outside. I locked the door and bolted upstairs, closing all the windows. I called my mom and asked her to come home, explaining everything. The man was still outside and he shouted at me, asking if I’d gotten my shoes. I replied that my mom was coming because she’s much stronger and could help carry the package.
Once I’d said that, he was quick to run away. And I never saw him again. They never caught him and I hope that he never lured any other kids or tricked them into going near that van.
On The Road
I was driving home when I realized a truck had been behind me for miles. Just to be precautious, I made an abrupt last second U-turn. He did too. It was then that I realized he was following me. While on the phone with an officer, I made sharp turns and ran red lights to try to lose him. He wouldn’t stop. He literally almost hit my car a couple of times as he sped up trying to catch up.
The operator instructed me to go to a local grocery store and wait for help to arrive. I parked right in front of the store’s entrance, in front of the surveillance cameras, and waited. He decided to park his car at a distance and waited for me to get out of my car. All of a sudden, I heard a hard knock at the window. I freaked out.
It turned out to be the grocery manager, letting me know that the officer had just notified him of the situation. He asked if I wanted to go inside the store and have him protect me until law enforcement arrived. I honestly feared the worst and told him no. I was shaking, but I thought: “This maniac might be dangerous. He could shoot me and everyone in there.”
The officers arrived and cornered him in the back of the parking structure. I was shaking as they came to my car. My hand was gripping the wheel very tightly. They took him away soon after and charged him with driving while under the influence. I didn’t know who he was. Apparently, he lived a couple of miles away from me.
I Want You Back
When I was seven years old, I went to a small school in our little town in Alberta. There was this guy named Daniel. Daniel had slept with my mom ages before I was even conceived, yet he somehow had in his brain that I was his child. Full-blown delusional. So, Daniel decided that the smart and rational thing to do was to stalk me.
He apparently plotted out a map to my school, he knew my name, he knew how old I was, and he knew what I looked like. I have no idea how he got this information. My mom never really used Facebook, and he lived in a different province. I had never met this man before. As if that wasn’t bad enough already, Daniel decided that one day he wanted to take it a step further.
He had been ranting to his wife about me. He kept telling her that I was his kid, and that he was going to drive from British Columbia all the way to Alberta to bring me back. He was convinced that I was conceived earlier than I was, and that my mom had made some kind of conspiracy to hide the fact I was his kid from the world.
He had a whole plan for how to kidnap me, right down to the date he was going to do it. His wife decided to call my mom and warn her. My mom put safety measures up, like making sure I was always in groups and that I was home by 4:00, etc. I was only told about all this when I was about 14, and still don’t know all the details. Obviously, Daniel never successfully went through with his plan.
An Offer You Can Refuseman in black hat standing near storePhoto by Laurynas Mereckas on Unsplash
My son looks nothing like me and I have a babyface. So when people see us together, they typically see babysitter rather than a mother. One day, I'd just gotten off work at McDonald’s and my husband was waiting for me with our son, who was four months old at the time. We ordered something to go and my husband went to use the bathroom while my coworkers cooed over my baby at the counter.
I see this older man watching us, but I dismiss it because my son usually gets a lot of attention. Plus, this guy came to the McDonald's pretty regularly and never raised any red flags. He came up to us and smiled at my son. He then asked if he could hold him, which I politely declined. He pulls a twenty out of his wallet.
"Why don't you take this, get yourself a sandwich, and leave the baby with me," he said, while trying to hand me the money. "No, thank you," I replied. I tried to be polite. He came back with, "Aren't you hungry? It's so hard to work two jobs. I'm sure if anything happened, the parents wouldn't blame you." When he said that, I was about to go off on him.
Just then, my husband came out of the bathroom and placed himself between the man and me. "Oh, you must be the father." He offered my husband the money but didn't talk about taking our son.
We made our way out of the store and the man followed, offering us money the entire way. After a while, my husband abruptly stopped and stared the man down until he went back into the store.
A few weeks later, he came back to the store. He ranted about how he could have given that baby a better life than that young man could. I told him that I was the baby’s mother and that he could get his sausage biscuit somewhere else from now on, because he wasn't welcome here anymore. I’m glad I never have to see that guy again. What a creep!
When we were both really young, my parents once left me and my brother at home while they went out. The two of us were all the way down in our basement, playing video games. We had the home phone in between us, just in case one of our parents called. About an hour goes by, and the phone starts to ring. We look down and the caller ID shows it’s our uncle calling.
We decide to just let it ring. Now, this phone usually rang four times when someone called, but I noticed that it stopped in the middle of the third ring. I couldn’t understand why this would have happened, unless someone else in the house had picked up one of the other phones. But no one else was in the house with us, right?
I got really suspicious and my paranoia got the better of me. I took my brother upstairs. We see that the phone is still there, but there is still a phone on the third floor in my parents' room. So we walk towards the stairs. What we saw next chilled us to the bone. A man in his late 40s was standing by the door of our parents' room and staring back at us.
The second we saw him, we both screamed, ran out of the house, and went straight to our neighbors’ house. We tell them what happened and they proceed to call the authorities and then our parents. They come fast and I don’t know what was wrong with the man, but he never left the house. He just stood there and let the officers take him away. I later heard he was taken to a mental hospital.
I shudder to imagine what could have happened to my brother and me if my uncle hadn’t decided to call at that exact moment.
In Hot Water
When I was around six years old, I was with a bunch of people from my church having a barbecue at a river. All of the kids were swimming in the water. I didn't know how to swim yet, so I was just staying waist-deep in the shallow part. At some point, this girl came up to me and was playing with me. We were splashing each other and stuff.
The weird thing was that she was probably 13 or so and I didn't know who she was, even though I knew everyone else there. Apparently, no one was paying attention to us. She started pushing me out deeper and deeper, to where I couldn't touch the ground anymore. She just kept laughing the whole time. My head kept going underwater.
I tried grabbing onto her arms when she would push me, but she easily knocked my grip loose each time. The slight current slowly pulled me away from my friends and family while I struggled to tread water. I was panicking, but she wouldn't stop pushing me and laughing. I could not possibly have looked like I was having fun. I would try to yell, but was only ever above water long enough to take a breath.
Every time my feet touched the mud for a split second, she would just push me again. I couldn't believe she was laughing. I was sure I was going to drown. No one seemed to notice. Of all people to intervene, it would happen to be my childhood bully, Zachary. He had always been a jerk to me before. But I still feel like he saved my life this day.
He came up and told her to get away from me. He grabbed me by the arm and pulled me up to where I could stand again. Then, he ran off and continued to play with the other kids his age as if nothing happened. The girl was already far away by that time. I went on playing, and I don't think I ever told anyone until I was much older. Pretty sure I never saw that girl again.
Center Of Attention
This happened a week ago. My blood still runs cold when I think about it. My brother wanted to get a drink from a place we both love to go to. It was going to close soon and he had work to do, so I went by myself. It wasn't very late, but it was already dark and my parents had drummed into me since birth about the dangers of walking alone at night.
I went and got both drinks and, for some reason, didn't get a bag. As a result, I was walking along with both hands full. As I was walking towards the street where my house was, I suddenly became aware of two men near me. One was in front of me, wearing a maroon pullover, and the other was behind me, wearing a grey zipped up hoodie with the hood pulled up.
I only turned around for a flash of a second, so I couldn't describe his face to you. I was weirded out, because I was walking between them and I was beginning to feel uncomfortably like they were trying to herd me. And just as I was telling myself that I was clearly overreacting, I came across a garage that was down an alleyway and a black Subaru was coming out.
I had time, so I crossed before they reached me. The person inside clearly wasn't counting on me doing that, so they swung around and parallel parked next to me, at most two feet away. So now I was between three men and a wall. When I saw the car door open, that was it for me. I bolted and didn't stop running until I reached my house.
Keep Your Friends Close And Your Dad’s Frenemies Closer
I have known my father's best friend and his wife since I was a baby. But they always unsettled me. The wife hated me, like she hated all kids, and the man would obsessively pay attention to me the entire time he was around. He would constantly watch me, even if I ignored him. By the time I was twelve, I knew things about him that I shouldn't.
The kind of stuff one would expect someone to tell their best friend in confidence, though usually not with their best friend’s daughter around. When I turned 16, there was a night where he was over and I was about to go to bed, saying goodnight to everyone in the house. My dad had gone to the bathroom and this guy's wife wasn’t there.
He got up from the table and went to give me a hug goodnight. This was really weird, since I never initiated any hugging and he would never have initiated one with me in the past. This hug lasted forever. My arms were at my sides, and his arms were trapping me against him. He finally released me from the hug, but placed his hands on my arms and looked at me.
This look still makes my skin crawl. He looked down at my chest and whispered, "Wow, you are getting so much bigger!" His thumbs were ghosting over my arms and closer to my chest. I was so startled and unnerved that I just froze. I couldn't think to move. This man, a man that helped my dad change my diapers, was lusting over the size of my 16-year-old chest.
Thankfully, before anything got worse, my father came out of the bathroom and this guy immediately backed away from me. I would never go around him again from that day forward. I haven’t seen him a single time since. Right after this incident took place, I told my dad that whenever he would be over, I was not going to stay there. Marvin, let's not meet again.
Keep Your Eye On The Ballmen's black pullover hoodiePhoto by Luis Villasmil on Unsplash
I had just fallen asleep when I heard my dog outside losing his mind. I then received a notification on my phone, stating: "There is motion detected at your front door." I open my phone to the live view of what's happening outside, only to be greeted by an eyeball staring directly into the camera. The man standing there was mumbling to himself.
He proceeds to knock and ring the doorbell. Now, I live in a suburban, quiet town, with wholesome neighbors who are all good people. I had decided to actually lock my door that day, which wasn’t always the case. That was a lucky thing, because the man started trying the doorknob, and then attempted to climb in through the window.
I turned on the microphone of my security system and told the man that he would be behind bars within the hour if he didn’t leave immediately. He got all huffy and puffy, and started talking about how he was just looking for his dog "Fido." Uh-huh, by trying to enter my house and acting like a creep on video? I’m more careful to always lock my door nowadays.
A Helping Hand
My boss has four children. When they were younger, she was driving along when her van broke down on the side of a motorway. She pulled over onto the hard shoulder and put on her hazard lights. She got the kids out of the car and took them to stand behind the barrier. She called roadside assistance and her husband. All standard stuff.
About 10 or 20 minutes later, a car pulls up behind her with a rather good looking chap in it. He says he lives just off the next exit and had seen her, so he decided to circle back to see if she needed any help. All the way through this interaction, my boss says he didn't throw up any red flags. He just seemed genuinely concerned about the kids being on the side of the road.
He offered to take her back to his place for a cup of tea while they waited. He even said she could call her husband to tell him where she was, just to be safe. Again, my boss is very sweet and kind and thinks the best of people, and there were still no red flags. Nevertheless, she turns him down only because she had four kids with her.
She said if she had been on her own, she probably would have taken him up on the offer since he seemed so genuinely kind. She turned him down because she didn't want to take the children back to a stranger's house, not because of mistrust. He sort of pushed it a little bit more but eventually shrugged and left the scene.
A couple of weeks later, she saw his photo in the paper. Apparently, he had stopped to help another woman whose car had also broken down, and he had attacked her and taken her life after offering her a lift. To this day, she maintains that she genuinely didn't see any red flags when she spoke to him. She insists that the only reason she's alive is because of her kids.
The Sound Of Silence
When I was around 13 years old, I was granted the privilege of staying home alone. Every now and then when I was home alone, I’d hear sounds coming from upstairs, and so I would instinctively call my mom. She then told me a story of how she used to hear things in her old house all the time and how it’s just the house “settling.”
Fast forward to many instances of sounds later. I decided that the very next time I was going to be home alone, I was going to be completely silent and make as little noise as possible. Within the first half an hour, there was nothing. Not a peep out of the entire house. I eventually got bored and felt safe, so I went to grab the TV remote to watch something.
But a few seconds before I grabbed the remote, I heard a sound that I’ll never forget. There was a huge crash upstairs and running footsteps. I was more sure than ever that someone was inside the house. By now, there were plenty of consistent sounds coming from upstairs. I decided to hatch a quick plan. Being the skinny, non-threatening little girl that I was, I first grabbed a kitchen knife.
Then, I grabbed a shoe and propped open the front door. After a few moments of some deep breaths, I yelled out in the deepest voice I could, “I know you are upstairs! I am giving you a chance to leave now without me reporting you. I have propped the front door open and I will be in the bathroom. Be aware that I am armed and ready to take immediate action if you refuse to leave.”
Sure enough, I walk into the bathroom, absolutely terrified that someone is about to attack me. I wait and wait until I hear the one unforgettable sound. I heard the front door close and the shoe being moved. I quickly locked the door and turned on the alarm system. I hope to never see this person or even hear this person again.
Like A Moth To The Flame
I have always been a lanky and non-muscular man. Needless to say, when I came face to face with a big dude holding a knife in the middle of the night, I was pretty much screwed. I was walking home from my closing shift on a warm summer night last year when he stepped out of the shadows and demanded my wallet. I didn't immediately reach for it, as I guess I was in shock.
He stepped closer and yelled at me to empty my pockets. When the realization set in that this guy was ready to take my life over the meager $20 I had on me, a white moth fluttered between us. To my surprise, the mugger began screaming and swinging his knife at the bug, which only caused it to fly around more sporadically.
Those fierce eyes which had been looking at me just a few seconds ago were now shrouded in terror and not breaking their focus on the moth. I took karate lessons for a few years when I was a young boy, so I took advantage of the large man desperately flailing at a small insect and performed the number one move recommended by all reputable martial arts schools. I ran like a madman.
I ran all the way back to my house, occasionally glancing behind myself, but I never saw him following. He had other matters to attend to, I suppose. So, an important lesson for all you wannabe criminals out there. Before attempting to commit a mugging, go see a therapist first who can help you get over your dumb phobias.
When I was a kid, I used to often go up to the Smoky Mountains and stay with my friend and her family for a few days to a week. One time, my friend's dad drove me and my friend down to Asheville, North Carolina, which was about an hour and a half away. My friend and I had put on a lot of makeup that day, because we were preteen girls who enjoyed having fun with makeup.
Even with the makeup, it was still very obvious that we were children. We went into a pizza shop to sit down and eat, when a man in his 30s or 40s started talking to my friend. The situation quickly turned sinister when it became apparent that the man thought my friend's dad was a pimp, and he was interested in my friend.
I'm pretty sure that my friend's dad threatened to disembowel the guy, and then we all promptly left and drove back to the mountain home. My friend's dad had to explain to us later what happened, and why we went home so abruptly. We were too young to understand it completely. It was definitely a very strange experience for both of us...
Low Keybrown coated dog on couchPhoto by Nathalie SPEHNER on Unsplash
Someone just tried to break into my house while I was home alone for the weekend. I am the only one in my family who uses the spare key that was hidden in my garden, and no one but me would have known where to find it. Yet, I saw this attempted burglar walk right up to the hiding spot and pick it up, which makes me think he had been stalking me beforehand.
Thankfully, my dog scared him off before he could do any damage.
Hate Thy Neighbor
When I was about five years old, my mom and I lived in this duplex that was off the main road and in a wooded area. We lived on one side and on the other was a woman and her son. He was studying to be a teacher. My mother had me young, so she was about 25 and the guy in the other unit was in his early 20s. He would often come by to talk to my mom.
My mother said he would ask a lot of questions about me. He once even asked if he could take me for a walk in the woods. My mother declined. One night, while I was sleeping over at my grandma’s house, my mom came home from work late at night. When she got into her room, she made a chilling discovery. She a pair of feet wearing socks sticking out from the end of her bed.
She grabbed her bedside lamp and was about to hit the intruder with it when all of a sudden he identified himself as that guy from the other unit. He couldn’t explain why he was in our apartment, nor why he was naked and only wearing socks. But he begged my mother to not tell his mother about the incident. My mother, of course, called the authorities.
She ended up going to court and making a victim impact statement against this guy, because she was terrified that he would become a teacher and be around children. We ended up moving immediately, because my mom couldn’t stay another night in that house. She is very thankful that I was out of the house that night, because for all we know he could have been trying to target me.
This happened a few weeks ago and I’m still a bit shaken up by it. My husband and I like to take long drives in the desert with our dog. We live outside Las Vegas and are fortunate to live in a city with abundant beautiful areas to stargaze. My husband just got a new telescope for his birthday in October, so he was excited to try it out.
We drove our Kia up to a popular overlock, and he pulled out the telescope. He showed me a bunch of constellations and we saw a shooting star. Our pet dog sat in the car with two of the windows rolled down. At one point, my hubby had to pee. He told me to wait in the car for him. So, I got in and locked the door. After a few seconds, I hear gravel moving.
Thinking it’s my hubby, I remark “That was fast.” Suddenly, my dog goes berserk. She’s snarling and barking like crazy. So I turn around and see this dude standing there that’s not my husband. I then see that the dude had stuck his hand into my car window and that my dog had latched onto his arm as soon as he did so.
The guy was screaming in agony as my dog bit into his arm. I was screaming in terror. My husband is now yelling as he runs towards us with his pants half on. The dog finally lets the guy’s arm go and he takes off. I immediately call the authorities. My husband tries chasing after the guy, but he manages to get away. The doggo got a cup of Dairy Queen that night.
Taking You For A Ride
This happened last year, at the peak of my partying stage. I was at a friend’s house drinking one night. At around 2:00 AM, I was pretty intoxicated and decided to call an Uber to take me home. The car pulled up, and I have this habit of sitting at the front with the driver. He was a young man in his 20s. I don’t remember too much about what we were talking about.
However, I do recall his compliments going from “You’re really pretty,” to “You’re really hot,” and he also kept saying that I reminded him of his mom. I found it really strange, especially considering that I was 19 years old, but I tried to laugh it off because I didn’t want to appear rude. I asked him to swing by the drive-thru at a burger spot because I was hungry.
We got the food and he was supposed to take me home, but I noticed he was driving in the complete opposite direction of where my house was. I looked at his map and it kept telling him to turn around. I asked him where we were going, and I remember him looking over at me and saying, “Oh, you don’t wanna come over to my house?”
I remember I completely sobered up in that instant and said “No. Please take me home.” I don’t recall if we continued talking after that, but luckily he took me home and I never heard from him again. I also reported him the next day. What really upsets me is that he clearly knew I was inebriated and yet he tried to take advantage of me.
It’s safe to say I won’t be Ubering alone at night anymore.
I was in Las Vegas on a business trip many years ago. If you’ve ever stayed on the strip in Vegas, you know that the hotels there are absolutely huge. The hallways are mazelike and extremely long. I am a small lady, and I was in my early 30s at the time. I had just left a meeting downstairs and was heading back up to my room.
I pushed the button for my floor when I got onto the elevator, and I got off when it reached my floor. There was a man walking towards me down one of the long halls. We passed each other. Then, out of the corner of my eye, I see him turn around. I take a right. He takes a right. I go left. He goes left. I determine that he is definitely following me.
No one is with me on this trip and I’m staying alone in my room. But he doesn’t know that. I pick up my cell phone and make a fake call. Loudly, I spoke into the phone: “Hi babe. What are you doing? Oh, you’re back in our room? You finished your workout super early. Okay. I’m almost back at our room, so I’ll be right there. Love you.”
The creepy guy following me immediately turned around and headed in the direction we had just come from. Whew. I made sure he was extra gone, then got into my room as fast as humanly possible and bolted the door. I never had any more issues for the rest of the trip, and I was happy that I learned a new trick.
Tunnel Visionroad tunnel wallpaperPhoto by Aaron Burden on Unsplash
I was leaving college and about to take a train to visit my family as I used to do every weekend. Usually, my best friend and her friends would join me at the exit of a pedestrian path which takes the shape of a tunnel. This day, they were late, so I walked through the tunnel on my own. As I was passing by an opening in the tunnel, a car suddenly approached me.
The car was black and its windows were tinted. Yet I could see who was inside because the driver had his windows opened. The car parked right in front of me, almost reaching my legs. I did not move. I was tired anyway. And I saw two guys inside of the car. The passenger opened the door and tried to reach for me.
That's when I got extremely lucky. At the precise moment when he tried to grab me, I saw my best friend and her friends emerging from the tunnel. I loudly screamed "Hello!" to her. The dude turned back and saw my group of friends approaching. He went back into the car and drove away quickly. My best friend looked at me and said: "Were you just about to be kidnapped?"
I said yes and we laughed it off very nervously.
Living Happily Ever After
Me and my ex were together for two months. Within that time, he swiped money from me and blamed it on me when I asked him about it. We actually broke up after I asked for advice on Reddit. Now, everyone who knows me knows my daily routine. I go to college for most of the day, then go to my work, go home, and do homework. And repeat.
One day, I was at my job, doing my work. All of a sudden, I get an alert on my phone that there’s someone at my house. I figured that I would watch the cameras after I got home. But then, over the next two hours, I got three more alerts. As I was taking the bus back to my home, I watched the cameras. And I saw my crazy ex taking a hammer to my back door!
I kept on watching as he struggled against the deadbolt, and then I saw him enter my house. I called the authorities faster than I thought I could and told them there was a break-in at my address. I continued to watch the video after that. 15 minutes after he entered, he left with a duffle bag. I arrived back at my house and officers were already on the scene.
I identified myself as the homeowner and went inside to check the damage. The place was trashed and, along with my duffle bag, some jewelry was missing. I gave the officers the evidence that it was my ex. And I gave them the address of the place he was crashing at. I then arranged to get a restraining order against him.
Not long after the incident, they caught him at a nearby pawn shop trying to sell my jewelry. When questioned, he claimed that he was trying to “get back” at me for dumping him. I am now happy to announce that the restraining order is officially in place, and my ex is also behind bars for a year for breaking and entering.
Toying With Your Heart
I used to work for Macy's in their beauty department. We had all kinds of weird customers that came in. Guys who would come rub lotion all over their legs, women who would take perfumes and spray them down their pants, all kinds of stuff you wouldn’t believe. I literally would never use a store tester under any circumstances. But one interaction was by far the strangest thing that happened to me.
I was standing at my counter and was approached by a guy who looked like he was in his late 30s. He asked if I had any kids and I told him I didn't. He said he was giving away free toys at the old Big Lots parking lot the following morning. I was like, that's cool but I don't have any kids. He asked me if any of the girls I worked with had little girls who would want free toys.
I told him that they didn't have any kids either. I was getting super creeped out and walked behind the counter. He was like, "Tell your friends if they have little girls to come tomorrow morning and get their free toy." I called my husband on my lunch break and told him about it. He agreed that it was super weird and that I should for sure not to tell any of our friends about the free toy event.
I also called our local security office and they were basically like, what are we supposed to do about it? Yesterday, one of my girlfriends shared a story about a local guy who is being investigated for human trafficking and a string of unsolved murders. I looked at the photograph and immediately recognized the suspect. It was the creepy toy guy!
A Lesson You Won’t Soon Forget
When I was around six years old, my family and I were just leaving the supermarket. I was begging my mom for some candy. By the time we left, I didn't get any. So I threw a huge fit. I started stomping and crying at the exit and threatened my mom that I wouldn't leave without getting the candy. She said, "Fine, stay here then." She left me by myself at the exit to teach me a lesson.
This made me cry and scream even louder. As she was getting closer to the car, a man approached me. He just said these simple words: "Get in my van boy, we will catch her." I stopped crying immediately, as I knew what stranger danger was by then. I just looked at the guy and knew that something bad was going to happen.
My mom quickly rushes back, grabs my hand, and yanks me away. She didn't say a word to the man, but she gave him a dirty look. Needless to say, I was quiet the whole ride back home. I'm not sure what would have happened if my mom had decided to pack the groceries before she came back to get me from my little fit.
Late Night Stroll
A few months back, after a night drinking, I hooked up with a much younger bloke. He was an average guy, nothing out of the ordinary. We messaged each other a few times afterward, but I just wasn’t keen on seeing him again. Tonight. Literally, an hour ago, he started to call me. I ignored it, as I was in bed. It’s the middle of the night.
But the calls continued. And to make things worse, I could hear someone walking outside my house. Then, someone started knocking on my windows. I have my six-year-old next to me. I kept ignoring the calls. I should have just said go away. But I lay frozen in fear, and this went on for 45 minutes. Next thing I know, I hear my door open and he enters my house.
I immediately shouted at the top of my lungs, “Get out of my house right now!!!” He said, “Are you sure?” Ummmmm, YES!! What’s wrong with this guy?? He will be immediately deleted and blocked on all of my social media channels. My heart is still racing from the experience. It made me realize how vulnerable I really am as a woman.
No Place Like Homewoman's portraitPhoto by Camila Quintero Franco on Unsplash
I suffer from schizophrenia. The other night, I had an extreme episode of psychosis. I don’t remember much about what happened. I was wearing sweatpants and high heels and was wandering around my apartment complex. I decided to go home. The main door in my apartment complex requires a key card like a hotel, but my roommates always leave the back door open.
So I walked into what I thought was my apartment and made myself comfy on the couch. I tried to go into my room, but it was locked, which confused me because I never lock my door. It took me a while to realize that I had walked into the wrong apartment. The people who lived there thought I was a friend of one of the other roommates, so it took them a minute to register what had happened.
When they did, they freaked out, understandably, and called the authorities on me. The officer thought I was drinking or on substances, but I showed him my medical emergency card that explains that I have schizophrenia. After he read the card, I was totally out of trouble and he just wanted to make sure I got home safely.
I don’t even remember the specific interactions that I had with the people who lived there when they saw me, as I wasn’t super lucid until the officer came. So yeah. Now these people just have a story about how a random schizophrenic woman in sweats and high heels walked into their house one night and made herself at home.
I live on the second floor of a three-level apartment building. We have a crawlspace that connects all the apartments. We aren't sure why it's there, but we all have stuff in it and none of us would ever even attempt to go inside of it. So it’s never posed any issue. The other night, the sun was setting but it wasn't pitch black out yet.
I'm walking through my living room when I see a short woman on my fire escape looking into my windows. This is extremely bizarre, considering it's still semi-light out and she had literally climbed onto our fire escape somehow. We have two windows that the fire escape reaches. She was looking in both but didn't see me.
I crawled onto the ground and my heart was racing as I watched her try to open the windows. I didn't know what to do because my phone was in the other room. After what seemed like an eternity, she finally left. I went into my room to get my phone to text my landlord and call the authorities. I came back into the living room and was looking out the windows to see if I could locate her.
All of a sudden, I hear a weird noise coming from the ceiling. We have one of those tile ceilings made out of separate slabs of cork. I look up to see one of the slabs lifted up and two eyes staring down at me. I have no clue how she got into the crawlspace so quickly, but I grabbed the nearest thing, which was a broom, and started hitting her with it through the ceiling.
She crawled away. An officer soon showed up and searched the place. They found her a few days later, when she was on someone else's fire escape. The officer said she was definitely on some illicit substances and that she had been violent towards them. I'm glad she's gone and that she won’t be coming through my ceiling again any time soon.
Coming In Handy
This happened when I was around five years old, but I remember everything like it happened yesterday. We had gone to a funeral for my mom's cousin in another town a couple of hours out. We got to the house and my mom went to see her aunt. She gave her condolences and I followed, holding her hand. I guess during the hugging and crying, my mom let go of my hand.
I started looking for her hand but not really looking up, just keeping my hand out for her to grab it while calling her name. There were a lot of people and the house was small, so I could only see the people standing around me. A couple of minutes later, I found her. Or so I thought, because she took my hand and started walking towards the door to leave.
I thought to myself as I was putting on my shoes that it seemed weird to come such a long way just to be here for five minutes. That thought led me to look up at the lady holding my hand. I instantly realized it wasn’t my mom. I have no idea where the woman was planning on taking me. I jolted my hand away from her and ran towards the room I had lost my mom at.
You’ve Got Company!
I was watching my daughter’s kids while she and her husband were out of town. They have a teenage daughter, who we can call Alyssa. In the middle of the night, I‘m woken up by a weird rustling sound. I look out the window and see movement. I see a boy emerge from the bushes on the side of the house. I then see a bike tossed on the lawn that definitely wasn’t ours.
My first thought was that it must be a burglar casing houses. But since he looked young and came through on a bike, I figured scaring him straight would be enough for him to decide to head home. So I went out on the porch, flipped the lights on, and politely said “Can I help you?” The guy looked surprised, but not nervous.
He was wearing a letterman style jacket, but once I got a clear view of him in the streetlights, he seemed much older than my granddaughter. He walked up closer to the house and said “Yeah, I’m looking for Alyssa.” I gave him a disapproving glare, hoping he’d realize that looking for a girl late at night and getting a grumpy old person meant it was time to split.
I figured Alyssa must have known that her parents were going out of town and, before she knew I’d be staying over, told a secret older boyfriend to come over. It was late and I was alone with several kids, so I didn’t want him coming any closer to the house. I also thought it was weird that he came so late and I wanted to be sure Alyssa actually wanted to talk to him.
I said: “You wait there.” He started to walk up and I felt a sick burning feeling in my gut. Instinct kicked in. I yelled: “NO. STOP. FREEZE.” I readjusted and said, “You stay right there. This is private property. Don't take a step closer. Wait. There.” So I go in and Alyssa is asleep just one room over from where the rustling first occurred.
I wake her up and say something to the effect of “I don’t know what the big idea was to have friends over this time of night, but you tell them to go home.” She has no clue what I’m talking about. I say “There’s a guy outside asking for you.” Confused, she gets up and goes to the window. She sees him and goes white as a sheet.
“He asked for me?” “Yeah.” “By name?” “Yes.” Her reply made my blood run cold. She told me: “I’ve never seen him before in my life!” I called the authorities immediately, but as I was on the phone with them, Alyssa started tugging at my arm. “He’s coming up!” I had younger kids in the house to think about, so I kept the door latched and pulled it just open enough to yell “None of us know an Alyssa. Leave my property immediately.”
He got angry and started yelling for her to come out. Thankfully, an officer came pretty quickly. When the guy heard the sirens, he grabbed the bike and ran off. I watched where he was running to and he jumped into the passenger side of a car without headlights or front plates and sped off. The officer followed in the same direction, but couldn’t find him.
Let's be honest: We're all human here, and we all have our limits for how much we can take.
At some point, something will happen where we'll say, "That's it! I'm out!" But for some people, there will be something that will happen that will lead them to feel that way about... everything.
Curious how others felt, Redditor 33-9 asked:
"What age did you stop giving a f**k, and what situation triggered it?"
An Eye-Opening Moment
"I had a heart attack with greater than 95 percent blockage. I was a dead man walking."
"Every day is a gift now. I refuse to get stressed."
Putting Themselves First
"I finally pulled my head out of my @ss and realized that I need to put me first, and not be concerned about what others think of the things I say or do."
"All relationships with others are voluntary and conditional, so don't sacrifice yourself to preserve any of them."
"For context, I am currently 37."
"I overdosed at a kickback, and nobody called for help because they were scared of getting in trouble, making it clear that, ultimately, nobody gives a f**k about you or anything you do! They only care about themselves!"
Never the Same Again
"My dad died, and I stopped caring about anyone’s opinion of me and my life after he passed."
No Growth Mindset
"The biggest thing for me is people seeing you in the same light forever despite any changes or personal growth. It makes it difficult to actually take their opinion seriously."
No Work-Life Balance
"My boss at the time asked me if I was coming into work the day after I had an emergency major abdominal surgery."
"I quit the day I was released by doctors to come back."
A Very Sci-Fi Take
"I had the strange epiphany at 24 or 25 years old that everyone I encounter on a daily basis is just a meat suit that’s gonna die someday. Including mine. I drastically stopped giving a f**k about what people thought about me and my life after that."
On the Bonus Level
"I got the virus during the pandemic. I was in the hospital for 85 days. The doctors told my brother to prepare for my death."
"I'm living my bonus life. I did a lot of traveling the year after when I regained most of my health. I still get winded easily. I don't worry what strangers think when I dress like a slob. I don't let comments from strangers online bother me anymore."
"I'm direct with friends when they disrespect me rather than fret about it. I'm trying to be more kind and patient with others."
"A positive attitude helped me overcome that virus."
Cannot Keep Up the Charade
"It's hard to pin down because it happened so gradually. I can say that I was in my 40s when I started losing my ability to pretend to give a f**k, though."
A Coping Mechanism
"Like, I don't know, maybe 10 or 11 years old."
"As soon as I moved on from primary school, my mom doubled down on controlling everything about me and forced me to do all this work and sign on for s**t I didn't want to participate in, and I used apathy as a coping mechanism and haven't looked back since."
"Since she punished me for everything I did, I might as well become immune to the punishment and everything else along with it."
Prioritizing the Baby's Happiness
"When I had my baby."
"I’d never wear a one-piece because I thought I wouldn’t look nice, but then I took her swimming and wore it, and I didn’t give a s**t because the swimming made her happy."
"I didn’t smile too much before because of my teeth, but I do now constantly because my smiling makes her smile."
"A lot of things I used to be self-conscious about, I don’t have the time or worry for."
Imposter Syndrome: Over
"I gave a talk at a conference, and all my imposter syndrome evaporated. And since then, I have no f**ks left to give. Just doing my thing."
Them Against the World
"Three days ago. I got married."
"I worried too much about the wedding and the people in it but in the middle of it, I was just focusing on my wife being happy, so I gave no f**ks about what other people thought."
"It was our day, and I'm keeping this mentality up forever. It's her and me. That's it."
No F**ks From Birth
"I don't know if I ever gave a f**k. I’m a very no f**ks person."
"I think my mom tells this story when I was five, I said something like, 'Why does that matter? We all gonna die anyway.' She was kind of concerned that her five-year-old looked at life that way."
"However, life is too short to give any f**ks."
Just Not Worth It
"Various points between ages 17 and 19."
"People around me would criticize me for the dumbest things and/or things they also did, and I realized that for all the things they do to make my life harder, I only bent further backward to avoid problems."
"I could use some restored faith in humanity. But for now, while I look for that, if someone wants to mess with me, they have proven themselves unworthy of my energy. Screw them and their screwed-up, self-centered worldviews."
"Maybe someday I’ll find some genuinely good people who don’t give me panic attacks or cross boundaries on purpose. They have to be out there. I hope I can find them."
We've all had those moments of feeling like, "I have no f**ks left to give," but in some cases, it can feel like that applies to literally everything.
We can totally understand how these Redditors saw these as turning moments, and for many of them, it was overwhelmingly for the better.
Have you ever had a similar epiphany? Let us know in the comments below.
Having a routine makes life easier, plain and simple. Things becomes second nature like grabbing a coffee from the same shop at the same time in the morning and reaching for the soap without looking in the shower. But when we rely on habits too much, things can get messy. From accidentally throwing your phone in the trash to blurting out incomplete thoughts, these face palm moments will have you rolling in laughter.
Missing in Actionsilver key on black carPhoto by Ivan Shemereko on Unsplash
I was looking all over my house for my keys. Like, flipping over furniture, full-on panic hunting for these keys. Finally thought that I might have left them in the car. So I went outside, and realized that my car was locked. Purely out of habit, I automatically pulled my keys out of my pocket, unlocked the door, opened the door, and realized that I was a complete idiot.
Got Me Bobbing
I washed an apple at the sink, dried it with a paper towel, turned, tossed the apple in the trash, and stood there holding the paper towel like a dummy.
Rub a Duh, Duh
When I was six or seven years old, I was getting ready for a bath. My parents had already filled the tub with water and bubble bath mix, and all I had to do was take off my clothes and put them in the basket of dirty laundry. I took everything off and promptly threw it all in the soapy tub, instead of the hamper. I stood there and just stared at what I had done for a solid thirty seconds.
Can’t Forget to Say Bye
I had to take a bus to work every day at about 4 AM. My wife usually drove me to the stop so that I didn't have to leave my car there for 14 hours. My wife's friend was staying with us while she looked for a job and house in the area. She was getting up early anyways, so she decided she’d take me and let my wife sleep.
When we got to the stop, I just instinctively leaned over and kissed her goodbye. Then I felt this jolt of panic as I realized what I had done. My poor wife's friend had a dumbfounded look on her face, and I instantly turned red as I apologized profusely and said "Sorry, it was a habit." My wife poked fun at me for days for putting the moves on her friend.
Just Grazing By
When my daughter was very young, she loved trains. So, I'd take her on short train rides whenever I could. She couldn't get enough. Part of the routine was that, when we were on the train, we'd look out the windows and I'd point out the animals to her. I got some weird British alarmed looks that time I pointed out of the window and loudly said, "Look! Moo cows!" when I was on the train by myself.
Going Off Scriptred and yellow love neon light signagePhoto by Eduardo Soares on Unsplash
I used to work for Comcast in their call center. I worked 3 PM-12 AM, so the only thing that was open when I would finish work was McDonald's. During the holidays, there’s unlimited overtime. I, being 19 and having no obligations at the time, decided to work non-stop until I fell down at my desk. One year, I worked three days straight.
I took my mandatory breaks every couple of hours and napped in the lunch room here and there. Finally, I decided I'd had enough at around 2 AM one morning. I stopped at the McDonald's drive thru because I wanted something hot to eat. Up to this point, I had subsisted on mints and packs of crackers from a vending machine.
The conversation at the window went something like this, “go ahead and order when you're ready,” the lady told me. I went, “Thanks for calling Comcast, home of the triple play. My name is so-and-so, how can I assist you today?” Then there was a very long, awkward pause. I ended up sleeping in the parking lot of that McDonalds.
I spent about the next 12 hours in my car. The manager eventually knocked on my window and asked me if I was homeless and if I needed to come in and warm up.
Not My Stop
I’m an ex-bus driver, and many times on my way home from work, I would go to pull into a bus stop in my car...
Not Even Close
I was meeting my brother's in-laws for the first time. They asked me what my name was. I said, "Pete." My name is Tiffani.
Not the Sharpest
I was working the backline at an Arby's WAY back in the day. We used to get our sub buns by the foot, but all the subs we sold were six inches. One day, when I was really tired, I literally reached into the bag, grabbed a sub roll, cut it in half, then put the knife back in the bag, and tried to cut another sandwich with the sub bun. The manager laughed.
Is This How You Do It
I was signing for a parcel on one of those electronic machine things that delivery drivers use. On this particular day, I wasn't paying any attention and ended up staring at the screen, zoning out for a full minute, then instead of signing my name, I just drew a straight line on the screen and handing it back. The mailman was very confused.
What Comes Out Must Go In
I was woken up at 3:30 in the morning for a random substance test for baseball last semester. After I peed in the cup, I was so tired and on such intense autopilot that I did something disgusting. I mindlessly drank my own pee cup. I don't know why, but I did it. Luckily, I was so tired that I didn't register the taste, and there was still enough in the cup to test.
Need for Safety
I went to the cinema to watch the new James Bond movie, Quantum of Solace. I was running a little late so I missed the previews and walked in to find that the movie had already begun. There was a furious car chase on screen when I arrived. After I found a seat and sat down, I instinctively tried to find my seatbelt so I could buckle up.
Making It Fit
I poured milk into my baby's bottle then, since it was, like, four in the morning, I tried to hear the full milk carton in the microwave, instead of the bottle. The carton was way too big but instead of realizing I had the wrong thing, I just got angry that it wasn't fitting. I only stopped trying because my husband was there watching and he start laughing.
All Good Things Come to an End
I woke up without an alarm, had breakfast, took a bath, and drove half hour to my work feeling great. I even thought to myself on the way, "Lucky me, the traffic is very nice today." Just when I arrived, the security greeted me with the worst words possible: "Good morning, sir, working even over the holiday?" I drove all the way home and had a nap.
I’m always running to catch the subway after waiting at the crosswalk in front of the station. Once, I was casually walking with my friend in the same area and then started running when the cross sign lit up. He had no idea what was happening.
I’m Home!man sitting inside carPhoto by Ani Kolleshi on Unsplash
I drove home from Phoenix to Prescott. I got all the way to my old driveway before remembering that I had moved to Flagstaff about a month prior.
Everything Has Its Place
I tried to put the cat into the tool drawer and then almost put the poor thing into the fridge 30 seconds later.
Something’s Not Working
I stopped at a stop sign and waited at least a minute and a half for it to turn green.
Just Gonna Take That
I went to the grocery store, packed everything in my backpack at the self check-out, and went home. As soon as I got home, I remembered that I never actually paid. When I made the realization that I hadn’t paid, I went back, swiped my card at the self check-out, and ended my transaction. Nobody had even noticed it happened.
Habits of an Old Man
I've worked as a caregiver for adults with mental and physical disabilities for over a decade. I do basic care helping adult men do daily activities like shaving, buttoning shirts, and so on. On a date, I was a bit buzzed, so I started to fix my date's shirt and told him he needed to look in the mirror to see if he wanted a shave.
I Know What That Meansdried leaves and stones on train tracksPhoto by @felipepelaquim on Unsplash
I work on a train. On the railroad, you can get verbal permission to pass a red signal or flag either from the dispatcher or the employee who’d put the red flag there. You cannot under any circumstances pass a blue light or flag because that protects employees working on/under/between rolling stock beyond the blue signal from any danger.
Driving home in the car late one night, I decided to take a shortcut through the local university. I went around a corner and saw a blue light marking a call station. My immediate conclusion was, “Shoot, can’t go that way.”
Practicing Healthy Habits
I work with preschoolers, and we sing songs to help them wash their hands. I started singing the same song when I went out with some friends to a bar and needed to go to the bathroom. The other lady in the restroom gave me the weirdest look...
Looks Right to Me
I was getting my car out of the parking lot and heading back home after a long day. Shortly after I started driving, I passed by a car that was identical to mine and thought, "Cool, I found my car." Nope. I was so wrong. I got out my car (which I had already found) and went to get into a stranger's car, thinking I'd discovered my own vehicle. Halfway through, I realized what I was doing and looked around hoping nobody saw.
I was sitting in math class one day, and I was just humming to myself while the teacher was explaining something on the board. She went to turn off the projector, which was beside my desk. Then, still standing next to me, she gave me this strange look and asked me, "Is something wrong?" I had been very deep in thought.
So much so, that I had lost the tune but kept humming, so I was now just humming a long, low "hmm" without any change in pitch. So, yeah, that was embarrassing.
Sometimes in the shower, I fill my mouth with water, and just let it pour out. One day, before work, I was brushing my teeth and standing in the bathroom fully dressed in my work clothes. But my brain thought I was in the shower, so I just let the toothpaste pour slowly out of my mouth and onto my outfit. Now my boyfriend warns me not to "drool toothpaste" all over myself.
Been Here, Done Thatcooked foodPhoto by Eiliv Aceron on Unsplash
I lived in the same house for 16 years before I moved. Years later, I did a bit of summer work as a construction worker on the house where I used to live. When I came in the first day, it was like traveling back in time. I mindlessly did what I always did when I lived there. I waltzed into the kitchen during the family’s breakfast, opened the fridge, and looked for something to eat.
I came to myself and looked up. The family was staring at me with their jaws dropped. Like, the breakfast table forks were paused in mid-air at this unknown construction worker making himself right at home. I was so embarrassed. I backed out stammering the whole time and trying to have them understand, “I used to live here.” I was not allowed inside again.
I went to the doctor's office, took off my sweater for a flu shot, and realized my t-shirt was on inside out. I got home, took off my t-shirt, and realized my bra was inside out.
Which Is Which
I work with both a phone and radio at work and have answered my phone with, "base, go ahead," and my radio with, "Lincoln county Transit." I have also had my radio go off and picked up my to-go cup of coffee and used it to try and respond. I use a straw with my coffee, and in my half-awake mind, I thought it was the antenna.
Losing the Scruff
I started to trim my beard and didn't see that the guard was off. A huge swath of beard was gone in one swipe. My two-year-old still refers to me during the beardless months as "Creepy Daddy." I am not allowed to shave it off again.
Excels in Observation
I have two kids and am in the habit of pointing out things I think they’ll like such as rainbows, the moon, nice dogs, and stuff like that. One day at work, I turned to a young male childless colleague and said, “Oh, look over there, a kitty cat!!” He gave me a weird look and stopped making small talk with me after that.
Two Strikes Againstfive orange fruits and one black smartphone on waterPhoto by Khiet Tam on Unsplash
I put my phone under the faucet to fill up my water bottle. I recognized my mistake. And then I did it again.
What Are You Yelling About?
I work as a housekeeper, and when we knock on doors, we yell, “Housekeeping,” and when we throw laundry down the chute, we yell, “Heads,” for those below to mind their heads. One day, I knocked on a door and loudly yelled, “Heads!” Later that day, the back of my mind remembered my mistake and made sure to “Correct it.” Unfortunately, I underestimated my own stupidity.
I over-corrected by stupidly yelling, “Housekeeping!" down the laundry chute.
I Meant to Do That
Once, I ate pizza at a friend's house and, out of habit, threw the crust on the floor for the dog. Those friends didn't have a dog.
Can’t Forget to Mention
"Here you go, if you need anything else, just let me know,” I said as I graciously put down the plate with food I cooked for the only person in the room. Me.
Dude, Where’s My Car?
I got my license at age 25 after moving from the city to a tiny town. I was so used to walking everywhere that one day I drove somewhere, forgot I’d driven, and walked back to work. I finished work and thought, “Oh, my car’s not there, must have walked in today,” so I walked home. I got home, and the car was not there.
So, I thought, “Oh, must’ve left it at mom’s,” but it wasn’t there, nor was it at the shops or the pool. I was too embarrassed to ask anyone if they had seen it and had absolutely no idea where I’d left it, so I just kept walking everywhere for three or four days. Eventually, my housemate saw it and asked if I was ever picking it up.
Changing Behaviorsmacro shot of yellow train hanging handlesPhoto by Jad Limcaco on Unsplash
I've been working with children for seven years. When I'm really distracted, I go into teacher mode. If I'm traveling with people, I'll count them on and off public transport, offer everyone water and snacks if I have them, and tell complete strangers to "use your walking feet/inside voice" if they're running or shouting.
Why Did You Do That?
I was talking to my boyfriend while he was eating a sandwich. Mid-sentence, he ripped a piece off and threw it at my face. He looked stunned when I didn't open my mouth and catch it. We have a dog who begs for food at the table all the time. When we realized that my boyfriend had accidentally forgotten I was a human woman and not a dog, we both nearly peed laughing.
I Guess I’m Up Now
I woke up, automatically got out of bed, got dressed, brushed my teeth, packed up my backpack, headed out of my dorm, and happened to glance at the clock in the lounge. Then the other shoe dropped. It was 1:30 AM.
Thrown to the Wolves
My dog's favorite part of the day is dinner time. I pull out her food and get a scoop of kibble; she starts wagging and doing the tippy-taps. One day, instead of going to her bowl, I dumped the full scoop into the trash can. She just looked at me with the saddest eyes. I felt so terrible, so she got extra food and pets.
At the gym, there is an arm curl machine. Typically, I do a heavy amount, but that day I was tired and pretty brain fried. As I used the machine, I didn’t realize that there was no weight on it, and I tried curling it with effort as normal. I ended up slamming myself in the head with the bar. Everybody in the building saw.
No Shoes, No Shirt, No Servicepeople sitting on chair inside buildingPhoto by Phil Mosley on Unsplash
For this to make sense, you need to know that I always take my shirt off after my shoes when I get undressed. So, there I was at around 4:30 in the morning heading through security to fly across the country for a festival. I was nowhere close to awake and running on autopilot. I was throwing my stuff on the conveyor, taking my shoes off, and then automatically started to take my shirt off.
The very attractive TSA lady was like, "Slow down, sir, we just met." I didn't know they came with a sense of humor.
I came into work at the front of house after several extended nights of profound insomnia. I was holding up ok until a gal walked in with a dog in her arms. I always chat with people about their dogs because people love to talk about their dogs and often tip a little more when they feel like they’ve connected with you. Looking back, this was a mistake.
I didn't have two neurons to rub together to break from the script of, "Hey, what can I get you,” “Here is your total,” and, “Would you like a receipt?" I leaned over the counter, locked my sleep-starved, unfocused, googly eyes on this poor woman, and blurted out, “Your dog. Who is he?" and then expectantly stared at her.
I stared like it was a normal and not at all insane thing that I just kind of word-vomited at her. She kind of stared at me and clutched her dog a little closer, and I think I probably went a little cross-eyed and tried to salvage the conversation by talking more. I don't remember what I said, but it was not an improvement.
Don’t Throw the Baby Out with the Bath Water
I went to check the mail, grabbed my keys, and remembered, “Oh yeah! There’s garbage and recycling that needs to go out!” So I stopped at the mailbox, retrieved my mail, threw away the garbage, threw away the mail, and threw away my keys. A neighbor asked if I was going to need those. I kind of stopped, realized what I'd done, and mumbled, "Oh nooo."
Getting Ready to Go
I started unbuttoning and unzipping my pants while I walked towards the toilet just like I do at home because I'm efficient like that. There was just one problem: I was not at home. I was at work. And I was walking through the shared office.
Problems Saying Goodbye
This guy I had a HUGE crush on was leaving my apartment. He said something along the lines of, "All right, this was fun, I'll see you later on." I didn't feel capable of waving, so I did a weird circular motion with my arms, snapped both fingers into finger-pointers at him, and then winked. WHY?
Did You Want Something?group of person eating indoorsPhoto by National Cancer Institute on Unsplash
As a teenager, I worked at McDonald's. My McDonald's was open 24 hours and, during the summer, I worked the overnight shift. My sleep schedule would get all messed up. My parents woke me up for dinner one evening. I zombie walked to the table and then sat there. My dad asked me to say grace. I bowed my head and tried my best.
I said, "Thank you for choosing McDonald's, may I take your order?"
Control Your Volume
I guess I listen to too many podcasts because I keep trying to pause work conference calls. I’ve also caught myself trying to increase my husband’s volume by pushing buttons on my phone while we’re in a room together having a conversation.
Are We Leaving Yet?
I had just finished getting my hair cut when I walked out of the salon to get into my car. I got into the back seat and sat there for a full minute before realizing that I drove myself there. Oh, but it gets worse. The salon had a glass storefront, and I was parked front and center. Everyone saw me have my epiphany moment and then humiliatingly get in the front seat to drive home.
I finally got a job as a consultant that I had been trying to get for years. It was just a position at our local grocery store, but the department was the best in town, so I was pumped. I was doing a great job and getting regulars at my tastings. One time, I hosted a tasting with a fairly expensive bottle of champagne.
I opened the bottle, and it started fizzing since it wasn't cooled enough yet, and my instant reaction was to start chugging it because that's what you do with soda. But this was not soda. It was much more expensive than soda, and I was chugging it in the middle of the sales floor while on the clock in a grocery store.
Here Come the Water Works
I had a deadline, and I was very sleep deprived. I drank a lot of coffee so I had to visit the washroom a lot. During one particular visit late at night, I went to wash my hands as usual but the tap wouldn't budge. I kept turning it, yet no water would come out. So, I did what other adults would do when that happens. I cried.
I called for someone to check it saying that I broke the tap in between gasps. My boyfriend walked to the sink and magically fixed the tap. I was turning it the wrong way.
Most people aim to have a perfect relationship.
But what does that exactly mean?
What is deemed "perfect" varies among couples. For some, it means a relationship is free of problems and that maintaining perpetual bliss is attainable if you're with the right person.
But there is one variable that can make or break relationships, and that is physical intimacy.
Curious to explore more about the significance of physical passion, Redditor iphonexmas asked:
"How important is sex for you in a relationship?"
It becomes a problem when it is a problem.
Perspective In Percentages
"If our sexlife is working well it’s 10% of the relationship. If it is not working it’s 90% of the relationships."
"Good answer and very true in my experiences. When the sex is great and consistent, it's a non issue and something I don't even think of. It gets very apparent that something is wrong when it dies down considerably."
"I hadn't thought about it this way until now and it's incredibly true."
"I was in a relationship for 4 years where sex was a constant issue. I constantly craved and needed it. In a way I felt starved of intimacy and closeness with the woman I loved. I was beginning to wonder if she even found me attractive or if she even loved me at all. It really weighed on me in ways that I didn't expect. Sex became an all consuming thing in my life and eventually was part of what drove us apart."
"I'm now in a relationship where we have satisfying sex on a somewhat regular basis. We'll sometimes go several days without doing it but other days we can barely keep our hands off each other. In the end, I never feel unwanted or undesirable. Our sex life is a complete non-issue and I couldn't be happier. I don't obsess over it like I used to. I don't feel like I'm pressuring my partner and feel less disgusted with myself."
Is It A "Me" Problem?
"I am literally going through exactly what youve described. It’s affected my mental health that much that I constantly go to the gym,eat as best as possible and even had a go on anabolics. My thoughts were She’ll find me attractive if I get in better shape,get bigger, more muscular."
"But no, nothing ever seemed to change,unfortunately that girl is just not attracted to me the same way as I am to her and it’s painful. What’s wrong with me?!🤷🏼♂️"
"I feel like I’ve got a Ferrari outside that I can’t drive. Yeah it’s nice to look at but the engine is missing."
"There’s only so many times over the years a man can hear the words 'no' before he gets fed up."
People like using metaphors.
"Well put. It's like water that way. If you're getting it regularly, then you can take it for granted. If you're not getting it regularly, then ... we have problems."
Waiting To Exhale
"Sex is a lot like air. It's no big deal if you're getting it."
"Sex is certainly not like sand."
"I hate sand, it gets everywhere."
People learned from previous relationships where the lack of sex was an issue.
It's A Must
"Very important, my first relationship turned into a dead bedroom situation and for me that's a 'never again'."
Realizing When It's Time To Move On
"Not OP, but I had the same situation. It was a 3 year relationship, and I started noticing it after the first year. It gradually got worse over the next 2 years."
"When I finally had sex again after the relationship, I was blown away. It was probably average sex, but it was just so bad in the prior relationship that it felt incredible."
"Both people need to actually enjoy getting the other person off. Once it becomes a chore, I don't think it can even be repaired. Sadly, you have to move on. But don't feel too bad. It's incredibly common. I was best friends with my ex. Everything seemed perfect. Well, almost everything. That's what made it so hard to have the conversation."
Compatible In Every Other Way
"My partner is also my best friend and everything else is great. Like in every aspect of life we match so well except the bedroom. In the first year it was great but then not so much.. I'm so scared of ending this wonderful relationship solely because of the libido mismatch, but I feel like we've tried so much to save it and it isn't working sadly. Intensive therapy would be the last step."
"I fear I won't find somebody who is so compatible with me in every way ever again. Probably irrational but it's how I feel right now. So scared of letting this go."
"I've kind of lost the ability to look forward to sex? If you know what I mean. The rare time that it is about to happen, I just question it, eh it isn't going to happen or I cannot get into it. I feel like I'm somehow broken, my libido has gone down but I don't feel like it's natural, just a response to my partner's lower libido."
"Sex in my marriage is down to maybe once or twice a month. This may be fine for my wife, but I’m a pretty horny guy. At the same time, at this point I’ve pretty much given up expecting sex. I just assume it’s not going to happen and maybe she’ll let me know when she wants it. The sex itself is pretty good, even if it’s usually nothing special in terms of how we do it."
"I recognize that giving birth to two kids and the stress of everyday life can play havoc on libido, so I don’t blame her (especially since she has chronic back problems). And for a year we also had houseguests that made sex even more difficult. Now they left. There’s just nothing I can do to my own libido, so I just satisfy myself privately when I can. Obviously not the same, but I’d rather get it over with than have my mind be filled with sex all day. It’s also difficult not to remember the early years of our relationship when we f'ked like rabbits. But I don’t want to bring it up and make her feel guilty"
For some, settling is better than separating.
Still In Love
"I've been married 20 years, the bedroom wasn't quite dead but I've remained HL while my spouse went from HL to LL gradually over a period of a decade or so. More recently, a mix of medical and other issues got in the way and we haven't had sex in nearly a year. Does it suck? Yes. Do we still love each other? Also yes."
"In my late 20s, I would have said I could never live in a committed, sexless relationship. But here I am, and while I'm not happy about that part of the relationship, I'm very happy with the person I picked."
Based on the examples above, sex is very important and is key to having a fulfilling relationship.
If an individual is not feeling desirable or wanted by their significant other, it can be a motivator for them to seek satisfaction outside the relationship.
Also, the importance of sex in a relationship is just as important as communication. If neither party addresses the elephant in the room, it can breed resentment.