The Entire Cow

Went downstairs to pour a glass of milk for myself. My parents happen to be in the kitchen. So in my best sober impression I pour a glass quickly and leave. Halfway up the stairs I realize I took the gallon and not the glass. At that point I had to commit.

ZombifiedPie

This Show Is So Good

I was on skype with my best friend and as she was talking to me I just sat there watching her because I thought I was watching Netflix.

buenothot

This is my favorite response in this thread, I've been in that position before. Just totally zoned, not really taking in the information, just kinda observing until the other person stops talking and your brain realizes this isn't one sided.

Sclog

Taste Test

Smoked a bong after getting my tonsils out when I was told not to. Thought I couldn't taste the old vanilla ice cream I was eating and that I had fried my tastebuds because I smoked too soon after the surgery, this made sense at the time. My dad walked in the kitchen as I was pouring the salt shaker in my mouth to see if I could taste at all.

CiaranDotCom

Caketastrophe

My cousin and I got stoned on his roof late at night and his brother couldn't know we smoked. So once the munchies kicked in we went to his kitchen to get some chocolate biscuit cake. My cousin pulled out two tiny *ss plates and 2 forks. He then proceeded to slam the fork into the cake, I said why don't you use a knife but then he just smiled and ripped off the most perfect piece of cake I've ever seen.

Then he spotted his brother and ran into his room and left me in the kitchen. I was going to run too but I hadn't got my piece of cake yet. His brother walked into the kitchen and said "ooo chocolate biscuit cake!" And I was under so much pressure to act normal that I didn't know what to do. So I slammed my fork into the cake and smiled and proceeded to rip the cake in half. He freaked out and said why didn't you use a knife and then the uncontrollable laughter kicked in. I said I didn't know where the knives were, to which he replied, where did you get the fork? So I pointed at a random drawer which he opened and had only knives in it. I couldn't control my laughter anymore so I ran away with my giant piece of cake falling off my tiny plate. I don't think he knew I was high. Probably.

The_Philoman

Something By Puccini

One time I was in college and I was stoned and my brother was cooking bacon for our munchies.

I kept telling everyone to shut up because in the back of my mind I heard little tiny soft beautiful music. Kind of like a symphony. I was like I'm so high.

It was the bacon sizzling. The bacon sizzling sounded like a freaking symphony to me.

ronniequeen

What Actually Happens Here

I have a "tripping in the grocery store" story myself. My (now husband) and I went to get some snacks to tuck into a movie for the duration of our trip. I get pretty zoned out staring at the snacks....there were so many options. I started to wonder if normal people stare at the snacks for this long. I noticed my mouth was open while I was staring. I still can't make ANY decisions. All of a sudden there's a cacophony behind me that shakes me to my core. I turn around to look and knock over a display of cheeseballs, already making a scene. Then, I look towards the sound; there's a high school marching band in full uniform in the frozen food section. The shock and absurdity of it all had me laughing like the insane high person I was. The mask fell.

ForecastForFourCats

Panic Plus High Equals:

At this point in my life I had agoraphobia, and while high, mustered up the courage to go grocery shopping for what was probably the fourth time in my life. Great idea.

I'm so stoned that I decide to try the deli counter for the first time ever, and I see this little container on the counter. I start to panic, and scramble to find a tip for what my high mind decided was a tip jar.

I get my order, smile at the deli person, and make eye contact with her as I go to put $2 in the jar. But it isn't a tip jar. It's a trash can for the tickets. And we're still making eye contact. And I slowly die as I have to commit to my mistake, and stuff my money into the trash can.

It took me four years to go to a deli counter again.

jademenagerie

The Chicken Was Never To Be

Not me but a friend. We have a popular chicken finger shop called Raising Canes in our college town. Now those of you familiar with canes know that they only serve one thing, chicken fingers.

All you can decide other than that is how many you want and whether you want fries, coleslaw, toast and sauce. My roommate, high as hell, sat in the parking lot for a solid 20 minutes deciding just how many chicken fingers he wanted. When he finally came to his conclusion, he proceeded to pull into the drive through, only to realize the store had been closed before he even pulled into the parking lot to start his decision-making process.

phishvincent

Whoops!

I worked at subway when I was in high school. My friends and I thought it would be awesome to get high before work. It was my first few times getting high and once I got to work I was out of this world. I was taking someone's order and they wanted their sandwich toasted. I put the sandwich on the pan, turned around to place it in the toaster, and then dropped it on the floor. I couldn't stop laughing and I'm pretty sure that person wanted to punch me in the face.

WreckTangularSquare

The First And The Best

First time I ever smoked. Just chilling in my friends room at about 11pm, sleeping over. We're just watching tv, and all of a sudden everything is just pitch black. Me being high and not really knowing how to act, I figure, "Ok, it must be time for bed then."

Only it's so dark I can't see anything so I just kind of fumble around in the dark for a while until i eventually feel a door knob in front of me. I turn it. Locked. For some reason, no matter how many times I turned this locked door knob, it just wouldn't open. Maybe it was because it was locked, but who knows. /s

Eventually I hear a light tapping on the door. I tap back.

*tap tap tap

*tap tap tap

This continued for like five minutes, just me tapping in response to some random tapping on the other side of this door. I'm still standing in pitch black, no clue where I am, what the tapping is, or how to open this door.

EVENTUALLY, I figure out how to unlock the door and open it up. My friend, his sister, and her friend are just standing in the hall. I was in the bathroom the whole time, and had no idea. Apparently, at around 11, I went to go to the bathroom, walked in, locked the door, and just stood there. Never turned on the lights, never actually went to the bathroom, never even moved my feet from the same spot for about FORTY FIVE MINUTES. FORTY. FIVE. MINUTES. After about 30 minutes my friend got worried about me and started knocking on the door and asking if I was okay, but wasn't sure what it meant when I just knocked back from the other side.

Over a year later, they still haven't let me live it down. Just one of the memorable stories I have from that night, my first time was by far the best time i've ever smoked. Wish I could go back.

LucasR505