Stoners Share The Highest Things They've Ever Done
Watching a stoner in action is pretty funny from an outside point of view. But what is it like on the inside? Can you even trace a thought process? On this episode of "Knowable Investigates," we will be going inside the minds of those who have experienced the effects of THC in a crazy way.
What is the highest thing you have ever done while high?
Here were some of the answers.
The Entire CowGiphy
Went downstairs to pour a glass of milk for myself. My parents happen to be in the kitchen. So in my best sober impression I pour a glass quickly and leave. Halfway up the stairs I realize I took the gallon and not the glass. At that point I had to commit.
This Show Is So Good
I was on skype with my best friend and as she was talking to me I just sat there watching her because I thought I was watching Netflix.
This is my favorite response in this thread, I've been in that position before. Just totally zoned, not really taking in the information, just kinda observing until the other person stops talking and your brain realizes this isn't one sided.
Smoked a bong after getting my tonsils out when I was told not to. Thought I couldn't taste the old vanilla ice cream I was eating and that I had fried my tastebuds because I smoked too soon after the surgery, this made sense at the time. My dad walked in the kitchen as I was pouring the salt shaker in my mouth to see if I could taste at all.
My cousin and I got stoned on his roof late at night and his brother couldn't know we smoked. So once the munchies kicked in we went to his kitchen to get some chocolate biscuit cake. My cousin pulled out two tiny *ss plates and 2 forks. He then proceeded to slam the fork into the cake, I said why don't you use a knife but then he just smiled and ripped off the most perfect piece of cake I've ever seen.
Then he spotted his brother and ran into his room and left me in the kitchen. I was going to run too but I hadn't got my piece of cake yet. His brother walked into the kitchen and said "ooo chocolate biscuit cake!" And I was under so much pressure to act normal that I didn't know what to do. So I slammed my fork into the cake and smiled and proceeded to rip the cake in half. He freaked out and said why didn't you use a knife and then the uncontrollable laughter kicked in. I said I didn't know where the knives were, to which he replied, where did you get the fork? So I pointed at a random drawer which he opened and had only knives in it. I couldn't control my laughter anymore so I ran away with my giant piece of cake falling off my tiny plate. I don't think he knew I was high. Probably.
Something By PucciniGiphy
One time I was in college and I was stoned and my brother was cooking bacon for our munchies.
I kept telling everyone to shut up because in the back of my mind I heard little tiny soft beautiful music. Kind of like a symphony. I was like I'm so high.
It was the bacon sizzling. The bacon sizzling sounded like a freaking symphony to me.
What Actually Happens Here
I have a "tripping in the grocery store" story myself. My (now husband) and I went to get some snacks to tuck into a movie for the duration of our trip. I get pretty zoned out staring at the snacks....there were so many options. I started to wonder if normal people stare at the snacks for this long. I noticed my mouth was open while I was staring. I still can't make ANY decisions. All of a sudden there's a cacophony behind me that shakes me to my core. I turn around to look and knock over a display of cheeseballs, already making a scene. Then, I look towards the sound; there's a high school marching band in full uniform in the frozen food section. The shock and absurdity of it all had me laughing like the insane high person I was. The mask fell.
Panic Plus High Equals:
At this point in my life I had agoraphobia, and while high, mustered up the courage to go grocery shopping for what was probably the fourth time in my life. Great idea.
I'm so stoned that I decide to try the deli counter for the first time ever, and I see this little container on the counter. I start to panic, and scramble to find a tip for what my high mind decided was a tip jar.
I get my order, smile at the deli person, and make eye contact with her as I go to put $2 in the jar. But it isn't a tip jar. It's a trash can for the tickets. And we're still making eye contact. And I slowly die as I have to commit to my mistake, and stuff my money into the trash can.
It took me four years to go to a deli counter again.
The Chicken Was Never To Be
Not me but a friend. We have a popular chicken finger shop called Raising Canes in our college town. Now those of you familiar with canes know that they only serve one thing, chicken fingers.
All you can decide other than that is how many you want and whether you want fries, coleslaw, toast and sauce. My roommate, high as hell, sat in the parking lot for a solid 20 minutes deciding just how many chicken fingers he wanted. When he finally came to his conclusion, he proceeded to pull into the drive through, only to realize the store had been closed before he even pulled into the parking lot to start his decision-making process.
I worked at subway when I was in high school. My friends and I thought it would be awesome to get high before work. It was my first few times getting high and once I got to work I was out of this world. I was taking someone's order and they wanted their sandwich toasted. I put the sandwich on the pan, turned around to place it in the toaster, and then dropped it on the floor. I couldn't stop laughing and I'm pretty sure that person wanted to punch me in the face.
The First And The BestGiphy
First time I ever smoked. Just chilling in my friends room at about 11pm, sleeping over. We're just watching tv, and all of a sudden everything is just pitch black. Me being high and not really knowing how to act, I figure, "Ok, it must be time for bed then."
Only it's so dark I can't see anything so I just kind of fumble around in the dark for a while until i eventually feel a door knob in front of me. I turn it. Locked. For some reason, no matter how many times I turned this locked door knob, it just wouldn't open. Maybe it was because it was locked, but who knows. /s
Eventually I hear a light tapping on the door. I tap back.
*tap tap tap
*tap tap tap
This continued for like five minutes, just me tapping in response to some random tapping on the other side of this door. I'm still standing in pitch black, no clue where I am, what the tapping is, or how to open this door.
EVENTUALLY, I figure out how to unlock the door and open it up. My friend, his sister, and her friend are just standing in the hall. I was in the bathroom the whole time, and had no idea. Apparently, at around 11, I went to go to the bathroom, walked in, locked the door, and just stood there. Never turned on the lights, never actually went to the bathroom, never even moved my feet from the same spot for about FORTY FIVE MINUTES. FORTY. FIVE. MINUTES. After about 30 minutes my friend got worried about me and started knocking on the door and asking if I was okay, but wasn't sure what it meant when I just knocked back from the other side.
Over a year later, they still haven't let me live it down. Just one of the memorable stories I have from that night, my first time was by far the best time i've ever smoked. Wish I could go back.
Parents Who Cut Off All Contact With Their Adult Children Break Down Why They Did It
All parents want to support their children.
Of course, when they grow up and fly the coop, they can't always help them out of every pickle.
But every so often, when their children find themselves in a bad place or are struggling financially or emotionally, most parents will help their children out without a second thought.
Until that is, their children begin to take advantage of their generosity or find themselves getting into trouble a little too often.
It's situations like these where sadly, the best thing parents can do to help their children, is to cut ties, either temporarily, or in extreme cases, permanently.
"Parents who have gone No Contact with your adult children, what happened?"
"He’s an addict who kept stealing from me."
"I had to draw a line."- Readsumthing
"I went no contact with my daughter."
"She had serious drug and alcohol issues."
"I had to lock up my prescription meds."
"She was also mentally ill but refused to take meds to treat it."
"Nope not gonna take them."
"I finally drew the line when she threw my suitcase at me while visiting her and threatening to kill me."- KrankySilverFox
"Our mentally ill son told us we had to do exactly what he told us to do (and could not push back on his requests or even explain our point of view), or we would never see our grandson."
"It was emotional terrorism."
"We told him those conditions were unacceptable to us, and he went no contact."
"Shortly thereafter, his wife divorced him, won custody, and encouraged us to continue building a relationship with our grandson."
"Today, our son wonders why we will not come to family events (and just 'ignore each other') when he is around."
"He set clear boundaries (no contact), and we still believe in respecting those boundaries until he tells us otherwise."- nielsondc
"My brother basically has no contact with my parents."
"Basically it boils down to him getting divorced and remarried after 20 years and then demanding they never talk to the ex ever again (they got along well) and immediately accept and shower the new wife with love and affection even though the first couple interactions were her telling them how crappy they were as parents and how they didn’t love him."- Hopeful-Translator70
"So, I’ll tell this as a third party."
"My wife’s mother and her sister had a falling out."
"It was a slow burn."
"I’ve been part of the family for close to 25 years now and my wife has told me stories of how her older sister and their mother didn’t get along well."
"Couldn’t tell you who instigated the fights or anything, but my wife told me on many occasions the two of them would get in to shouting matches, objects would get thrown, things like that."
"My mother-in-law, until recent years, could be very difficult to get along with."
"My wife’s sister has a very Alpha, bullheaded personality."
"Not just when dealing with their mother, but you could see it in how she treated her (now ex) husband and their children."
"I’m not certain which straw broke the camels back but their already turbulent relationship was further strained when her sister moved several states away and took the kids with her, virtually never to been seen again."
"It’s been over 10 years since their move and I want to say her sister has come to visit maybe twice?"
"This past Christmas my wife and I went to see her mom and while visiting, her sister was brought up in conversation."
"Her mother said, 'I can tell you, she’ll never step foot in my home again'.”
"But didn’t elaborate."
"I don’t think there was ever anything like drugs or legal troubles involved, only two really dominant, aggressive personalities that clashed virtually every time they met."- Deftallica
Difference In Beliefs
"My wife and I recently made the very painful decision to completely cut all ties with our oldest son because he has become a dangerous believer in that Qanon sh*t."- GlooBloo92
"My grandmother just did this to my aunt. It's because she doesn't approve of her new fiancé."- jdog_014
A Simple Minded Grudge
"My older brother went NC with my dad first."
"Reasons are mostly my brother."
"He's got mental disorders and never went to therapy to fix them."
"Then he went NC with me since my mom enables my brothers toxic behavior."
"Basically sponged off my mom and demanded money from her and my poor mom gave in."
"When my brother had a son, I finally wanted all of us to meet him and reunite (we all live in different states. Bro in Cali, parents in Ohio and Me in Washington)."
"When I paid for everyone tickets to visit me in Washington my brother flipped out since my dad was coming so he went NC on my mom.'
"Again let me emphasize my parents and I have done nothing my brother has very toxic behavior and will hold grudges for million years."
"I truly believe he has undiagnosed autism and he was bullied so badly back in Ohio where we grew up from school he's scorned and blames my parents which isn't their fault."
"Dad pretty much gave up trying and my mom keeps trying especially to see her grandson but my toxic brother keeps us NC."- Wesmom2021
No Reason At All
"My ex went NC with our son."
"He kicked him out of his house when my son turned 18, even though he had medical needs and no job."
"'Dad' called to tell me that he did it, and to strongly recommend that I kick him out, too."
"Not because he had done anything wrong, just because."
"Of course I didn't, because I don't believe children are disposable objects and I couldn't see what he was supposed to learn while living on the streets and eating out of garbage cans."
"They had some sporadic contact after that until his dad remarried and moved out of state."
"Now my ex (thankfully) hasn't called in about 6 years."
"My son still lives we me because he can't work and you can't live off only $1200 in monthly disability payments."
"That man was very toxic and abusive to us and we both have PTSD from living with him."
"Knowing he won't be calling either of us ever again is a huge relief."- Xylorgos
"She was physically violent, lied, threw things at me, stole from me."
"But the final straw was she wanted my lamp and was moving out."
"I said no."
"Came back to lamp gone."
"She screams she didn't take it, how dare I accuse of her something she didn't do and called my mother and sisters to complain how I accused her of stealing."
"They called and harassed me about accusing my daughter of stealing and that I needed to apologize."
"A week later, in the garage, in the far corner under a box was the lamp."
"She admitted she did it and I still needed to apologize because she didn't steal it." - Reddit
Cutting off ties with your children, or any family member might feel like an utterly unfathomable thing to do.
Unfortunately, sometimes the first step toward forgiveness and recovery is letting go.
Have you ever had to cut someone out of your life? Let us know in the comments below.
Everybody loves to be the life of the party.
Right? Or is that just me?
A little attention during a bacchanal never hurt anybody.
I love to dance, so I focus on musical requests and lavish moves across the ballroom.
I've seen other people eat fire.
Everybody has a party trick or favor that they like to pull out for a good time.
Redditor bluewings23 wanted to hear about all the eccentric things we do at parties to keep the attention focused on us, so they asked:
"What’s your party trick?"
GoneHomer Simpson Burn GIF by Dallas FuelGiphy
"You say hello to the host, go to a corner and play with your phone for a while, then walk out the door when no one is watching and text the the host 'sorry, I have an emergency. Thank you for the invite.' Works like a charm all the time."
"If there are cherries at the function, I typically tell ppl I can tie a cherry stem into a knot, in my mouth, in under 10 seconds. I have won betting money doing this a number of times. And it's as simple as tying a knot in a cherry stem and putting I try in my cheek before ever mentioning that I can do it."
"Then I just swap 'em out and pull the one with the knot out. No one has ever noticed me take the second untied stem out of my mouth."
"I solve a Rubik's cube that I find around the house without anyone noticing, and then I never admit to solving it. Sometimes nobody notices. I'm like a crazy party animal obviously."
"My buddy used to leave an unsolved cube at parties we would go to. He would wait until he saw people messing with it, or around it and would be like 'Oh cool, can I see?' and solve it in like 10 seconds. Obviously he crushed massive amounts of sex."
“Read my friend's mind”
"Me and my friend have a trick we call 'black magic.' I leave the room, and the other partygoers tell my friend an object in the room. I then come back, and state that I can 'read my friends mind' and guess the object they told her. My friend starts listing items in the room, and I answer no until the actual object comes along."
"It usually takes people hours to figure out the trick. They think it’s always the third object, or that it has to do with intonation or a sign of sorts. So we repeat the trick excluding that tell. Makes them go nuts."
"The trick is in the name. The right object is the one mentioned after a black object."
"In college, my party trick was to fill a red Solo cup with vodka and take it as a single shot. Probably killed a bunch of brain cells doing that."
Oof. College party tricks. Yikes. I remember nothing.
Duck and RollRolling In The Deep GIF by AdeleGiphy
"I am double joined on most of my body, I just say 'autobots roll out' and twist my body in terrifying ways into a small cube."
Pistols at 14
"I got shot in the wrist by a jammed CO2 powered BB pistol at my 14th birthday party. We thought that we had gotten it out or it fell out but it had not and healed over quite quick. Twenty years later I have the power to hang magnets from my wrist that look like magic and set off very sensitive metal detectors!"
"Opening beer bottles and wine bottles without their typical openers. ie using an empty can or lighter to open a beer bottle or banging a bottle of wine off a wall to get the cork out. Or getting out the cork of a wine bottle that’s been pushed completely inside the bottle."
"Useful party tricks are always the best and often needed!"
MagicJustin Willman Netflix GIF by CameoGiphy
"Card tricks. It’s been years and someone still wants to know how I made their card appear."
"I often go to bonfires or scaled down versions where a fire is present. I can hold my hands in the fire for a much longer time than most people due to my job working with molten glass. It’s a fun way to shock people when you reach into the flames and grab a half burnt piece of wood or something like that. I have yet to play chicken with someone but I think it’s a credit to the people I hang out with that they aren’t dumb enough to try"
I gotta try a few of these.
Who am I kidding?
I'm too old.
Do you have any tricks that leave guests astounded? Let us know in the comments!
People Who Have Discovered A Dead Body Break Down Their Immediate Reactions
I hate death.
Mainly because I phobia of it.
So you can only imagine how I feel about dead bodies.
I fast forward over autopsy photos pop up on Dateline NBC.
I can't imagine coming across the dead randomly.
How do you recover?
And if it's a violent end that's just too much.
So who has been in this situation?
Redditor Ntoxide wanted to hear from people who have come across the dead, so they asked:
"People of Reddit who have found dead bodies what was your immediate reaction?"
ReactionsToy Story Goodbye GIFGiphy
"As a nurse aide in a nursing home that happened more than I'd like to remember, and tearing up was always my immediate reaction."
"So when I was about 15 I went to school to take my final exam. I was late due to my bus being in traffic and had to walk through a few streets after getting to my stop, at around midway there this guy crossing the street gets hit by a car going 50 in a school zone (the primary school was to the side of my school). He went over the car and feel on the ground with a crack, car drives away."
"At that point I went to check it out and was already panicking he was still breathing for a while after the crash for about 5 minutes and then he just died. I called 112 and tried to explain the situation as I was hyperventilating. Apparently he had broken his spine and had a lot of internal bleeding, I did not do the exam."
"Was beside my mum's bed when she died. I just somehow knew it was close so I stayed there and waited. After her last breath, I just sat by her for a bit thinking she was now in peace and past the pain and struggle of a body that was progressively shutting down from old age. Called out for the nurse to come in and confirm she was gone."
"My dad, I found on the floor at our old family home a couple of days too late, almost five years later. Called my wife and then the authorities and sat on the front step feeling guilty, a bit lost and finally annoyed. I was angry and frustrated that he always point blank refused to have one of those medical alert pendants and I hadn't been there over the weekend. I'm still dealing with the remnants of that 15 months later."
"Found my mom's body, I was 9, I thought she was sleeping, I understood when my sisters started crying."
"That's wild. My mom died when I was 9 too, Christmas night from breast cancer. My dad just kinda walked in my room and went 'Hey, let's go downstairs.' I was still at the age where I knew she was dead but I didn't fully understand what was happening until the guys with the hearse showed up to take her body. That's a weird age to accept death at."
"I didn't realize he was dead and tried to wake the guy up gently. Honestly, I thought he was passed out drunk or high. I was about to check his pulse when two city workers came along told me not to touch him and called 911. The ambulance came, and I went to work. Never actually thought about it again until I saw this post."
Finding the dead is aways a shock to the body.
Farewellanimation goodbye GIFGiphy
"My first dead body was a sweet old woman. I got a phone call from her husband at 3am. Apparently she went to the living room to watch TV. I went there. Cold and unresponsive. Hugged the guy and held his hand. Called 911. Called the family. Helped out with whatever I could."
"Second one was very sweet as well. I helped someone transition peacefully and comfortably. There was an order to administer morphine every hour. Around 6am his wife told me he passed. Since he was on hospice I got to interact with them. The family was awesome."
"I was watching a movie with my girlfriend, and suddenly heard a loud crash. I used to be trained in first aid and CPR, so I jumped up and walked outside to try to see if there was anything I could do."
"I wasn't the first on the scene, but I was the first to check out if the driver was ok. I noticed that the glass on the windshield was cracked at about head height, and no seat belt was worn, nor were the airbags deployed."
"Nothing felt right, and there was a feeling of dread that I can only describe as 'empty with a side of heavy.'"
"The man was slouched over to his right, appeared to be about late 50s early 60s, and the primary thing I noticed that confused me was that his veins in his arms looked as though he was still flexing. There was nothing I could do, as there was no pulse, no breathing, and a clear traumatic brain injury that even had he been alive, it wouldn't have looked great long term."
'I love you'
"Called 911. I was hysterical. I loved her very much, and I couldn't believe she was dead. It was like a nightmare I couldn't wake up from. I tried my best to stay calm until the cops and paramedics showed up. It was one of the worst days of my life that I still replay in my mind over and over and over again."
"I flash to the disagreements we had and how many times I could have said 'I love you' more and what I could have done in the last 30 years to have changed everything. That's why saying I Love You is so important, and if something happens, call 911."
"I'm much better now, but that was one of my first reactions."
"Sailor, on one of my first patrol’s we found a dead body in the ocean. We called a man overboard and the nerves of trying to figure out who it might have been was so gut-wrenching and surreal. Turned out it was a Japanese man who had been dead for about a week just floating in the Pacific. Never learned more about it, but still think about it time to time."
The BodyComforting Big Hero 6 GIF by SkyGiphy
"I told the med tech, and then, because she wasn't on home health or hospice, I washed her body and teeth, brushed her hair, changed her brief, and dressed her in some nice clothes."
Saying goodbye to a person and seeing death is never easy.
Do you have any similar experiences? Let us know in the comments below.
Hiring Managers Break Down The Weirdest Things They've Ever Seen In A Job Interview
Most of us have had a few jobs in our lives, and we've learned to be on our best behavior during the job interview.
But sometimes even when we're doing our best, we might make a mistake, like blanking on the answer to a question or spilling coffee on our pants.
There are other people out there, however, with far stranger stories.
Curious, Redditor Muchachi asked:
"People who have interviewed potential new hires, what are some of the weirdest or worst things you've encountered during the interview?"
"A woman handed in her resume in person (this is an important detail for later). She seemed normal enough, looking for a part-time job. She was new to the area and was checking out opportunities. This is a grocery store she was applying to."
"She called me the day before, panicking and asking for directions to our location. It didn't seem like she knew she was talking to us as she was asking for directions to the store. (Now she was here yesterday, dropping off her resume.)"
"She called to say she was going to be late, because she forgot about an appointment."
"She called to reschedule the interview for the same time and day as the interview. She seemed to think it was a different day."
"She called asking which bus to take to the interview."
"She called to reschedule again."
"She showed up four hours early, wearing two different shoes."
"Each time she called she sounded more and more drunk. It was sad. She clearly needed help."
About Those Random Drug Tests...
"I used to be the hiring manager for a store in a mall. Our back room was pretty tiny, so we did interviews in the food court. Usually, it was pretty empty when it wasn't around lunch or dinner time so it wasn't hard to find a table that was far enough away from everyone else."
"I was midway through interviewing someone when I saw a girl I didn't recognize walking towards us."
"She came over, sat down with us, put a little white pill on the table, and said, 'Take this pill' to the guy I was interviewing."
"Then she asked if I wanted one without actually saying what it was."
"When I said no, she started asking how I knew her friend. I told her I worked at a store and was interviewing him for a job, and she just said, 'Oh cool,' and just continued to sit there."
"It took a few minutes for the guy to get it through to her that we weren't friends who met during an interview but that this was the interview that she had crashed. Once she finally got it, she picked up the pill, got up, and wandered away."
One-Way Ticket to Amazon
"Interviewing for student workers at a College Bookstore. So we got a pretty wild variety of characters, but none like Lorenzo."
"This dude comes walking into the interview in some tattered cargo shorts, a dirty White Tee, some flappy broken sandals, long mangy hair, and a scraggly beard. But the best part was the gourd. He had a good-sized gourd hanging from a hemp necklace around his neck that he was using for a water bottle."
"Now the Assistant Director and I both have a pretty solid sense of humor, and we know this interview is going to be special."
"We began asking him all the usual questions. Why do you want to work here? What were your favorite past jobs? All of which he answered really well, far beyond our expectations."
"At the end, we always had a fun question in there as well. We asked Lorenzo if he could go anywhere right now, where would he go."
"He passionately said, 'AMAZON! I would go to the AMAZON!' and got up and started dancing around the office. 'I'd go do a rain dance in the rain forest! Man, I wanna go so bad!' And then he pounded the gourd."
"Best interview ever."
"Sadly, our Executive Director flat out NO'd Lorenzo. The AD and I were tragically disappointed. We really wanted to give him the job, just to see what happened. He became a bit of a campus legend, and we really did regret not being part of his journey."
"Rumor has it that after graduation, he boarded a plane to South America and was never heard from again. Dance on, buddy! Dance on!"
"Crying. She explained that she just cries sometimes for no real reason and I accepted her explanation."
"She was a good hire. I would swing by her office and sometimes she would be in there crying and working away."
"She was a graphic designer, this was at a design firm, and she was referred by someone I trust...12 years on, she has three kids and is doing good."
No Wrong Answers... Apparently
"I wasn't on this panel, but an older man being interviewed responded to two of his questions with 'That's a stupid question' and 'You tell me, you work here.' Needless to say, he didn't get the job."
"Another man bought lunch at the time of his interview and then complained he was being disturbed when someone went to call him through."
"I have so many."
"One of my favorites was an early morning interview at a large job fair the company I had just been hired to was hosting at our local convention center. This candidate has been there the night before and completed her application and some assessments and was asked to come back in the morning to interview."
"She was DRUNK y’all. Not hungover. Hiccuping, slurring, stinking drunk. She tried to hug me rather than shake my hand."
"It was another woman and I doing the interview. She asked the candidate why she had left her last job and she said, 'Well, it’s like this, ya see. . . Me and my old man, we was getting a divorce (hiccup)... So then I started sleeping with a whole bunch of guys at the office. Then me and my old man? We got back together, and now I’m not allowed to work there no more.'"
Date For Hire
"I worked in HR (Human Resources) for a long time. I was usually the first person new hires went through for admin jobs."
"I interviewed one guy who was creepy beyond words, winking at me, biting his lip."
"At the end, he said, 'Well, I’m pretty sure I blew this interview, but would you hire me for a date?' I told him he has 30 seconds to leave before security was called."
Waiting Room Drama
"While waiting for her interview, I had a lady get into an argument on the phone with her roommate about leaving her sex toys in the dishwasher."
History Repeating Itself
"I was interviewing someone who casually mentioned that one of their dogs had died after being left in the car during her work day. She then went on to ask if we have a place where she could keep her dogs at work."
"We do not, to which she replied that that’s ok, they could stay in the car."
"We were hiring for a dog trainer position."
"I had a 24-year-old, college graduate, come into the interview with her father. I had multiple interviewees, so when I called her name and they both stood up, I told him it wasn't a group interview and he'd be in when his name was called."
"He looked at me and said, 'I'm her father. I'll be sitting in on her interview.'"
"I looked at both of them and said that wasn't happening, and he was not welcome to join us in the interview room unless he was an applicant on my list."
"He literally took her by the hand and walked her out. That was eight years ago or so, and I still think about that poor woman. I was 25 at the time and couldn't imagine that being my life."
"The one that stands out the most to me was hiring for a new computer tech. Was a nice guy, and seemed to know the basics but was clearly new to the field. When I asked if he had any questions for me his first one was, 'What is the process for transferring to a new position? I'm only applying here because there aren't any openings in accounting.'"
"Umm, yeah, dude... Tell me right away you don't really want that job and don't intend to stay at it. I just looked at him blankly for about 15 or 20 seconds and I think it dawned on him what he just did."
"The interview basically ended there and I thanked him for his time and said I wouldn't be calling. I hope he learned from that."
Not a Team Player
"I was interviewing a graduating senior for an entry-level designer position, a position that would have required her to work closely with a writing partner and less directly with an entire team."
"I asked her how she approached working in teams and she said, 'Oh, I hate working in teams. Every time I do, everyone ends up ganging up on me, so I want to work alone here.'"
"Might as well have just ended the interview then and there because that's not and never will be how advertising works."
"I pointed out her portfolio and asked her how she'd created those pieces. Hadn't she worked with a writer on the headlines or the body copy?"
"She said no, her professor let her do everything herself because she'd told him she 'refused to work with anyone.'"
" I can't remember what school she went to, but they did her a massive disservice by letting her think that was normal."
At Least They're Honest
"Not an interview, but yesterday I received a resume that said, 'I really think it's time for businesses and companies to change the way they hire everyone. I have been out of work for over four years already and it's getting ridiculous. I may have not grown up in [redacted] but I am more than qualified for all the jobs I applied for.'"
Gotta Keep Up the Gym Habit
"Not majorly weird but always stood out to me:"
"I was on the interview panel with the owner and project manager as I was in charge of training new hires."
"A guy came in wearing skinny jeans and skater trainers. Already, I know the owner is annoyed because he's a stickler for the dress code (shirt, trousers, shoes) in the office."
"His CV said he's already experienced in what we do so we asked him some basic questions about the work he's done and he gave some vague answers that didn't really explain anything or indicate any real experience."
"Partway through the interview, the owner said that I'd be training him should he be successful, and he very obviously sneered and rolled his eyes."
"At the end of the interview when asked if he had any questions, he said he likes going to the gym so he'd like two lunch breaks because of the amount of food he needs to eat and also to actually get to the gym. The owner says we can discuss that if he's successful."
"The project manager and I didn't want him but the owner said we should invite him back for the second stage competency test and asked if I could contact him because he noticed the eye-rolling."
"The owner also made a comment about him being scruffy and told me to make sure he comes dressed for work."
"I invited him back and told him exactly the sort of thing he was expected to wear."
"He turned up a week later wearing the exact same stuff from his interview. It was clear during the (quite simple) competency test that he'd barely done this type of work before, if at all."
"He also turned up with two large tubs of pasta for the competency test and stopped partway through to eat one of them despite only being there for two hours (which was supposed to be an upper limit)."
"I asked him at the end if he had any questions and he asked what other responsibilities I had because I obviously wouldn't need to spend much time training him. I sidestepped that and he repeated the question about two lunch breaks."
"The owner phoned him the next day to tell him he wasn't successful and he offered his services on a freelance basis for both work and training, even sending a follow-up email offering the same thing a few days later."
The Beginnings of a Parasocial Relationship
"I interviewed this lady who seemed okay, but we didn't hire her. Then she kept emailing me, asking questions about the job (after she knew we hired someone else), and then she emailed me asking to meet up and 'hang out.'"
While we may have made some mistakes in our interviews, these deeply cringe-worthy accounts are bound to make us feel better about the slip-ups we may have experienced.