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Stoners Divulge The Best Ideas They've Ever Come Up With While High

Stoners Divulge The Best Ideas They've Ever Come Up With While High
Image by mohamed Hassan from Pixabay

I can't get high anymore. I'm too old. I get exhausted and fall asleep mostly. So I need to stay sober to get my best ideas. I will say a few vodkas have stoked some inspiration but one too many sips and I'm useless again.

But I know a lot of people who give into their awakening after a few puffs or sips and they write Pulitzers, or pen Hall of Fame songs or crack government code.

Adele has said she wrote all of '21' drunk and most painters will tell you their greatest works were born of colors that popped while under the influence. I'm jealous. But however the work is born works--as long as it's born.

Redditoru/the-juiciest-jewwanted to hear about the brilliance that awakens in all of us when we dabble in some out of the box recreations, by asking:

Stoners of Reddit, what's the best idea you've come up with while stoned?

I think the best idea I ever had after a few long drags of some potent Mary Jane was to dance off some life drama to Madonna. I was sad and then... Madonna. Always a good idea.

Career Goals

excited making money GIF by HULUGiphy

"To go back to school and become a Horticulturist so I could work in legal weed. I did it!"

- GovernmentChemical11

Changes

"Legally change my last name to match my grandfather's who basically stepped up and acted as my dad my whole life. Being in his mid nineties, he's notoriously hard to shop for as material things don't mean much to him anymore. He was honored!"

- American_Boy_1776

"That's so awesome! My last name is my maternal grandpas too and not many people have our family last name anyway so I'm really glad I have it."

- Casua11yCrue1

Back to School

"Drank too many beers and smoked one night with a buddy, and the next day we were both enrolled back in college after taking years off. Both got our degrees within the next two years. Doubt I would have ever went back if it wasn't for that night."

- denimrunningshorts

"I had a fiancé that cheated on me with a paramedic. I was very upset, hurt and pissed off. But I would've taken her back. In an effort to show that I was as good as that guy."

"I enrolled in the fire academy and graduated and then I went to EMT school. I was hired by a large metropolitan fire department. And five years ago after 30 years I retired. I never got her back but I got a great job that never seemed like a job and great retirement and besides that after thinking about it forget that witch!"

- Equal_Scare

Impulses...

"I like to, on occasion, impulse buy in the snack isle while stoned, then put all the stuff away as soon as I'm home, then get more stoned. The idea is to be stoned and forget that bit happened and then later, I'd remember that I had awesome snacks and it feels like Christmas."

- HaZaaR_

Pop!

Erykah Badu Hat GIF by Soul TrainGiphy

"What if I invented a hat that could store a windbreaker in it? So if it starts to rain I just flick the hat and a water proof jacket pops out!"

- Benjamin_Sockpuppet

Well that all sounds like a wealth of good ideas. Anything that gets people back to school and learning is a plus.

Roll-Up

Butter GIF by BTS 방탄소년단Giphy

"Roll-up butter. Basically a glue stick or chapstick tube of butter that you roll up to apply to toast. Turned out the Japanese had already beaten me to it."

- JonnySnowflake

People Explain Which Expensive Purchases Paid For Itself In The Long Run | George Takei’s Oh Myyy

Say I Do!

"I once got myself ordained as a minister during a break up and paid the extra for the certificate. It came to the house I was moving out of because my ex and I broke up. I picked up my mail and couldn't figure out what it was, so as my ex sat on the couch, I opened it. I then jokingly asked her to marry me because I knew a guy who could do the ceremony cheap. It turns out, it's not valid in most of Canada, including my province, unless I petition the court or something, which I wasn't about to do."

- Blazanar

Higdeas!

"A large boat that bakes donuts and sells them at ripoff prices on credit to seafaring recreationals."

- fourdac

"I had a similar highdea, a food truck/convenience store that goes to beaches in summer. Here in NZ even popular beaches can be quite isolated, so if you forget something you're buggered. A truck selling pies and lighters would go a long way."

- reaperteddy

Home

"Sitting on my porch one evening, I remembered my car was on empty. I figured I'd drive to the gas station down the street so I wouldn't have to rush in the morning. The weather was really nice and I thought "man, I should just walk there."

- DelsMagicFishies

"This sort of happened to my friend's younger brother. He was high and decided to drive to the gas station 2 blocks away to get some snacks."

"Problem was he was so high and that he always walked to the place, so he walked back home. He forgot and the next day he called my friend and his mom asking if they borrowed his car and ended up filing a police report. I don't know who found it but it made me laugh."

- VenusInJorts

Vaderways...

"Vadergrams. When you like somebody and you want to give them something but you have no excuse, you send a vadergram. A guy dressed up as Darth Vader goes and delivers a present and says "happy birthday" and they say "But it isn't my birthday," and dude says "I have altered the birthday - pray I do not alter it any further" and walks away."

- TaserLord

Awake Meals

insomnia GIFGiphy

"A cereal called Insomniacs. Think kind of like Lucky Charms but the marshmallows (stars, moons, and suns) are little yummy melatonins."

- hippyyogafriend

Cravings

  1. Get a stainless steel double walled ice cream bowl. Yes, you need one.
  2. Pour in a cup of frozen, pitted cherries.
  3. Add a cup of cereal. Frosted mini wheats are perfect for this. Even unsweetened cereals work well.
  4. Top up with cold milk and stir.
  5. Wait just long enough for the cherries to partially defrost and for the milk to get really, really cold.
  6. Enjoy… each bite should have cereal and a cherry."

"I crave this more than ice cream at times, sober or faded, and it's better for you. If you make it right, you feel a delightful cold sensation in your palate, esophagus, chest and stomach without ever getting an ice cream headache. Poor man's bingsu parfait."

- maoinhibitor

While watching South Park

"Watching South Park, I decided that (most) social media is high risk low reward and I'd rather be blissfully ignorant. It's tremendously improved my happiness. I say most bc reddit, to me doesn't count. I'm more of a lurker and liker and my algorithm on here only shows me happy things and memes. Some times I won't understand memes because I've removed myself from how I was receiving news. Some times I feel kinda behind but I always feel happier than I used to looking at everyone's garbage."

- morgansaurusrex_

Best of Wendy's

"Used to work at a Wendy's where pretty much all the employees were lethally stoned at any given time especially those of us who usually worked closing. Anyway one particularly slow day we just went out to the parking lot and smoked a joint and then came back inside and made baconator fries but put literally every cheese in the store in them and a ton more bacon and mix them up in one of the salad cartons. It was great."

- Vanilla_Neko

Winner Winner

Giphy

"A game show totally based on lies. You have like 4 contestants, 2 two have totally made up personas, 1 just has a weird lifestyle/career, and the last one has to figure out which one is telling the truth. Also cheesy bacon tater tots."

- Java_Papa

Dried Up

"Once while high, I thought about dried fruit. I love dried apples, pears, nectarines, etc. but no one sold dried grapes. I kept thinking about it and how good they would probably be. Sober me remembered raisins."

- padillerpadooder"

Yeah, why do raisins suck so much? I could never make sense of it. The source material is dope but something gets lost in the translation..."

- ButteryFlavory

Complex and Compelling

"I do some of my best work high. Recently I wrote a highly technical software and biochemistry manual high. I get really in the zone with "take complex info and find good ways to structure and present it" stuff for some reason. Super nerdy, but "get high and build the world's best spreadsheet" is very compelling to me."'

- CanRova

The main plot is happening to someone else...

"I was baked & playing Skyrim, realized just how satisfying hours of side quests can be. I want an RPG that is all side quests. The main plot is happening to someone else. Your primary focus is to bring that nice old lady some flowers, or to clear trolls from a cave. Let the other guy deal with the big bad demons or war or whatever, you've got an errand to run for the shopkeep."

"You do get affected by the war etc, a bridge blew out so you have to take another route, supplies are low so prices are climbing and you have to really hunt for things, you overhear people in town complaining about burnt fields or having fearful conversations in the pub. Every now and then you'll see a dude in crazy armor sprint by, but mostly you're just going about your day. If it was done right, I'd play tf out of that game."

- wishyoucouldtell

Smell it Up

Stop Motion Christmas GIF by Cosmic TeaGiphy

"An artificial Christmas tree with a plug for pine scented plug ins. So all the smell with none of the mess."

- AudiTechGuy

Aren't all cereals made for insomniacs? Like who hasn't snarfed down Cocoa Pebbles at 3am? Keep puffing y'all, and then head to shark tank.

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People Share The Biggest Unwritten Rules In Their Household

"A Redditor asked: 'What's an unwritten rule in your household?'"

A hand adds a yellow post it to a wall of yellow post its
Photo by Kelly Sikkema

There are rules in life where people are expected to just know how to operate without being told.

For instance, if someone falls down... help them.

When you like a sweater in a store... get money to buy it.

Just leaving with it won't go over well.

And there are more rules, or guidelines to adhere to...

Redditor christygl7 wanted to hear about what is expected in people's homes without words, so they asked:

"What's an unwritten rule in your household?"

If you have to pee... lift the seat cover.

The people in Port Authority always miss that one.

Routine

Cleaning Chores GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy

"Either my wife or I can do any chore when noticed. We thank each other for routine chores as we appreciate each other."

cwsjr2323

"That’s how my fiancée and I handle chores. Whoever’s around when the core needs to be done does the chore, typically. I find she does more regular cleaning of the whole apartment while I do more dishes and cooking."

radtech91

Trashed

"Replacing the trash bag IS PART OF taking out the trash."

UndiagnosedReptard

"Similar to this, in my house, the rule is if the toilet paper ended on your turn (or there’s barely enough for the next person) then it is your job to procure the next roll and put it in the bathroom. It is NOT acceptable to let it run out for the next person."

wavesnfreckles

"We have extra stored in every bathroom. I make sure of it. However, if it runs low/out on the roll, my wife will 100% of the time take the new roll and set it on top of the empty tube on the spindle, refusing to replace it. I actually called her over and shamed her into changing it in front of me the other night (not in an abusive way - we were both laughing about it)."

on_the_nightshift

Finder's Keepers

"If you find money in the laundry while you are doing the laundry, it's yours."

Rich1926

"Yep. My boyfriend learned that lesson the hard way when we first started living together. He had a bad habit of just crumpling up bills in a big wad in his pocket, usually just ones, but sometimes he accidentally leaves a twenty in there. I tipped myself the twenty. It took him a couple of days of trying to figure out where it went before I took pity on him and told him."

"He now both turns out his pockets and washes his own clothes. I still find the occasional single dollar in the dryer."

Head_Razzmatazz7174

Dropped something?

"If food is dropped on the floor it becomes the property of the dog. The dog knew this rule before we did."

Altruistic-Bit-9766

"That was one of the hardest things after our family dog died. Dropped something? Who cares! Riley will get it. But then he didn’t."

"Also, I don’t live at home anymore but coming home to him barking and crying out of excitement and greeting me always made my day and I looked forward to it every time I opened the door and could hear him wiggling in excitement on the side hahaha. It’s a little less exciting coming home now."

ohno807

Obligations...

Water Stay GIF by Kinda FunnyGiphy

"If the water you take from the Brita pitcher leaves what’s left below a certain line, you are obligated to refill the pitcher on penalty of death."

halcyon3608

If you stay in my home and don't refill the Brita pitcher...

I'm setting your hair on fire at 3 AM!!!

Flushed

Go Away Pink GIF by HacklockGiphy

"Check the toilet after you flush."

NANNYNEGLEY

"This. My brother-in-law never does this. It's annoying and disgusting! You don't want to clean up after yourself because you think it's gross? How do you think it makes me feel to clean up after you?"

purplestarsinthesky

WAKE UP!

"Wake someone up if their alarm goes off. It's a pretty weird one but setting up alarms is a conscious and deliberate decision for all of us and you want to wake up when it goes off, so we just help each other out."

DonMartiniMacaroni

"I'll do this a few times, but my roommate needs to learn not to hit snooze because he's taught his body that alarms don't need to be woken up to. I don't wake him up anymore. He started waking up to them."

stumblinbear

"I’ll wake them up because it annoys me when people snooze especially if I’m next to them in the bed and I don’t have to get up."

chill90ies

No Exceptions!

"Shoes off at the door. No exceptions."

Next-Dark-4975"

"Shoes-on people must not be using the same public bathrooms that I do. 100% of them have a lake of dirty urine in front of the urinal. They must also be amazing at finding two urine-free spots that are shoe-sized on the shores of said lake. It’s fine if they want to bring that into their homes. It’s not allowed in mine, though."

Bmadray

Table Manners

"No tech at the table."

"Even with a teenage daughter this has proved eerily easy; we all love food though!!"

"Also murder is out of the question, it is non-negotiable. If any of us kills another then they are outlawed in the true sense."

"Other than this, we are pretty cool."

Dante2005

Woof

Well Done Applause GIF by MOODMANGiphy

"Let the dog out to go potty before you use the restroom. (Seriously, the dog is asking to go out and you think she can wait while you take a 30-minute poop first? Not cool.)"

InfiniteBackspace

Always let the dogs go first.

If you wait, you won't like the surprise they leave!

person using laptop computer to make a credit card purchase
rupixen.com on Unsplash

Sometimes we look at a product and think "who would buy that, and why?"

For me the "Flowbee" home haircutting tool comes to mind. If you're unfamiliar, it's a shaver you attached to your vacuum cleaner so you hair was pulled past cutting blades.

It was sold on late night infomercials in the 1990s.

Who wouldn't want to style their hair like this?

Flowbee infomercial GIFGiphy

As fabulous as that looks, results did vary with most veering toward "yikes!" yet by 2000 the company reported 2 million were sold.

And *surprise* you can still buy one—for about $150.

It seems no matter how bad a product is, someone will buy it.

Keep reading...Show less

There's this amazing quote by Maya Angelou that we can all put into practice: "Do the best you can until you know better. Then, when you know better, do better."

This can be applied to anything in life, from learning more about a subject that we're passionate about, to practicing better time management skills, to being a better friend.

But there are some things that we may not even realize we need to do better... until we suddenly know better.

Cringing in anticipation, Redditor one-droplet asked:

"What have you always done, but later found out was gross?"

The Best Ice

"When I was like five or six years old I would love going to the grocery store with my mom because the vegetable and fruit and meat tables always had the best ice to chew on..."

- campio_s_a

"I work in a restaurant, and I try to grab a cup to get the ice before they use it for raw oysters and shrimp cocktails. It really is the best ice."

- AustinRiversDaGod

Toilet Paper Use

"As an Asian, I was always taught growing up to throw used toilet paper in the trash bin. It wasn't until I went on a school trip to Italy and the chaperone mentioned to everyone, 'The plumbing system here isn't as good as the USA so you guys are just gonna have to throw it in the trash bin,' and everyone went, 'Ew.'"

"That's when I learned that it was gross to throw toilet paper in the trash bin since the issue was you're basically having shit bits sitting around in a bin."

- stigma_numgus

Toothbrush Bristles

"All my life, I wiped my toothbrush on the hand towel to dry it up until my sister asked what the f**k I was doing."

- Sark_Doul

"My sister used to scrub the bristles on the faucet where the water came out when she was done brushing her teeth. I guess to dry it off. I still cringe thinking about it."

- Suspicious-Craft4980

That's Not Clay

"As a child, I would dig up bits of clay from the local sandbox. It wasn’t as good as Play-Doh, so I would cast it aside and continue digging."

"Maybe I didn’t have a very good sense of smell at that age, because I was well into adulthood before I realized it was probably cat s**t."

- Blue_Moon_Rabbit

Dirty Showers

"I showered in a dirty tub. Once I discovered how gross it really was, my hoarder mother didn’t like it when I cleaned the bathroom, so I just lived with it til I was able to get a place."

- TrustIsOverrated

"My hoarder mom was like this."

- Best_Eggplant_9259

"When I tried to wash the nicotine off the walls in my bedroom, my hoarder parents were not happy."

- obviouslyanni

Fresh Towels

"I waited until a towel smelled weird to swap it out."

- DrippyFlames

"Look, the towel forgets everything before the next shower."

- gljivicad

Self-Service Assorted Candies

"I used to really like those self-service lollies/candy buckets with the scoops. They were in most big box stores in Australia, like Kmart, Target, Big W. So much fun mixing and matching."

"But then one day I started working at Target. Every single day I caught old people and kids with their hands directly inside grabbing them out and munching down all slobbery-like. That turned me off forever."

"Though not too long after they started disappearing from businesses so obviously someone got the unsanitary message."

- blahblahrasputan

Not Flushable

"I flushed my tampons my whole life until I was about 30. No one had taught me they weren’t flushable. I stupidly thought they were like toilet paper."

"One expensive and embarrassing plumbing problem later, I never did it again."

- Ew_fine

Dental Habits

"Not brushing my teeth when I wake up. I would only brush my teeth after breakfast, and I would rarely eat breakfast."

"So most days I would only brush my teeth at night. I figured, 'Well, I brushed last night and haven’t eaten anything since, so why should I brush again?'"

" Then I learned about all the bacteria that feed on the tiny bits of food left in your teeth and they literally expel gas and feces in your mouth as they consume it. And this is what causes awful morning breath."

"So I have this mental image of bacteria poop and farts coating my mouth and have brushed every morning since regardless of eating breakfast or not."

- scatteredwardrobe

"Brush at night to keep your teeth, and brush in the morning to keep your friends."

- coykoi314

Not Just Yellow Snow

"Eating snow. Just take the same handful of snow you might see a kid stuff in their mouth and let it melt in a glass. Bet you wouldn’t willingly drink it!"

- Affectionate_Cloud86

Don't Visit Everyone's House

"I sit on my couch butt naked when I’m alone watching TV at night. I mean I’m relatively clean but I feel sorry for anyone else that sits there."

- Rich-Abbreviations25

Letting the Hair Fall Where It May

"I'm suffering from hair loss at the moment (51 Female) and I'm often absent-mindedly raking a hand through my long hair, glancing at what comes out and then dropping the strands on the floor."

"Just read on another sub that that's pretty disgusting to other people. In my defense, I work exclusively from home in my own small office and would never do it in public, but even so, maybe my husband thinks I'm gross."

- RadioDorothy

Shoes Indoors

"Wearing shoes inside. My family was not a shoes off family and they always wore outside shoes inside."

"I remember a few friends' homes were strict shoes-off homes, but I thought that was the minority."

"I was about 27 years old before I realized it was disgusting and people were definitely judging my etiquette."

- MyDogAteYourPancakes

Double-Dipping

"Double-dipping snacks. Pretty logical but only found out recently that’s very bad etiquette."

- AggravatingDriver559

"Double-dipping is only acceptable if you’re not sharing the dip with anyone."

- froderenfelemus

Fair Lessons

"Some things I've learned:"

"Wash my bedsheets every week, including bed, pillows, and covers."

"Only use the same bath towel twice before washing it."

"Use a new toothbrush head every month."

"Always wash my hands coming back from a store or public transit."

"And NEVER EVER go into a resort pool with a swim-in bar."

- freddg_mtl

This conversation was so cringe-worthy and left us wanting a shower in the worst way.

At least for most of these Redditors, now that they knew these are gross habits, they've chosen to do something better.

Bags of movie theater popcorn
Corina Rainer/Unsplash

Sources provided by health experts informed us to eat fruits and vegetables in order to nourish our bodies with energy, and to drink milk to ensure we grew up with strong bones and muscles.

However, nowadays, consumers are confused.

There seems to be conflicting information every day regarding the benefits, or harm, of eating the foods we were always told were detrimental to our health.

Curious to hear from strangers online about our misconceptions regarding the foods we eat, Redditor Meerkate asked:

"What are some foods that aren't as unhealthy as people make them out to be?"

People discuss everyone's favorite movie snack.

Pass The Popcorn

"Popcorn. For how good it tastes, it has almost nothing bad in it."

"You add the salt and butter of course, and those arent great, but you're not getting a super high amount of those."

– mithridateseupator

"Adding in decent quality butter (not margarine) and a few shakes of regular salt is not unhealthy at all. The problem is with the sh*t that movie theatres put in popcorn."

– puffy_capacitor

Careful With The Seasoning

"My body started rejecting movie theater popcorn butter when I was about 25. That stuff will make you sh*t your pants and miss the end of the movie. Just salt for me thanks. Real melted butter at home or at Alamo Drafthouse."

– jesusbatman

Healthy Suggestion

"I love popcorn."

"You probably buy the kernels too but for those who don't, it's significantly cheaper and healthier to buy just a big container of popcorn kernels."

"Pop them on the stove top with a small amount of oil and sprinkle some finely ground salt (that's what movie theaters use for that magic flavor) and you're golden."

"It's super easy. I don't even add butter."

"You can also pop kernels in the microwave in a paper bag or in a bowl without buying the pre-bagged stuff. You'll never go back to those once you've popped your own kernels."

"An air popper works too of course, though that will definitely require butter."

– VralShi

Redditors talk about the health benefits of eating certain kinds of fat.

Not So Fat

"Fat in general (not the trans ones tho)"

– LenkaSky

"The low fat craze of the late ‘90s/early ‘00s has A LOT to answer for. My mom is still ridiculous about it. Yeah, moderation is good, but you can add some butter to your food so it’s edible and still live a long life."

– burgher89

Fat Is Your Friend

"Fat is a great source of sustained energy that doesn’t boost your blood glucose like other options."

– honorificabilidude

"You really, really need fat in your diet for proper hormone regulation and other important body processes!"

– aledaml

Go easy on the carbs.

Hey Spud

"Potatoes got several countries through famine! Probably alot of people associate them with fatty fries or crisps."

– Meerkate

Get Starchy

"Boil em, mash em, stick em in a stew"

– DokiDoodleLoki

"Exactly this. High satiation and low cost. You can wash out a lot of the starch if you're worried about it."

– The_Quicktrigger

Let's discuss fruity.

Nature's Candy

"I’m so tired of hearing people talk about 'all the natural sugar in fruit.'”

"I guarantee you this banana is healthier than potato chips and cookies."

– Sharyn913

"My mom has done basically ever fad diet ever, but one thing I do like about the 'new' Weight Watchers is that fruits, vegetables, and lean meats like chicken breast are zero points. I think the logic behind it is that there is no f'king way you're going to eat enough carrot sticks and apples to make yourself gain weight, so they're trying to encourage people to default to that stuff when they're hungry even if they're out of points rather than just starving until they give up and eat a bunch of unhealthy foods. Weight Watchers doesn't really work long term, but that detail is nice."

– standbyyourmantis

Saving Grace

"I think its the fiber in fruit that makes it not as bad. Also, it has nutrition to make up for it unlike the cookie that's just all refined flour and sugar."

– Tangerine_memez

Calorie Count

"There are scientific studies suggesting that not all the calories in nuts are bioavailable, so you might only get 75% of the calories! There are also studies showing they contribute to weight loss even despite being high in calories."

– kazzah31

When I was told butter is actually a better alternative to margarine–which is known to contain trans fat–I started cooking more with butter.

I believe we can eat anything in moderation, so as much as I love smearing pads of butter on my English muffin, I take it easy.

When it comes to baking with it and putting it on toast, nothing beats the flavor of my favorite dairy fat.