I can't get high anymore. I'm too old. I get exhausted and fall asleep mostly. So I need to stay sober to get my best ideas. I will say a few vodkas have stoked some inspiration but one too many sips and I'm useless again.
But I know a lot of people who give into their awakening after a few puffs or sips and they write Pulitzers, or pen Hall of Fame songs or crack government code.
Adele has said she wrote all of '21' drunk and most painters will tell you their greatest works were born of colors that popped while under the influence. I'm jealous. But however the work is born works--as long as it's born.
Redditoru/the-juiciest-jewwanted to hear about the brilliance that awakens in all of us when we dabble in some out of the box recreations, by asking:
Stoners of Reddit, what's the best idea you've come up with while stoned?
I think the best idea I ever had after a few long drags of some potent Mary Jane was to dance off some life drama to Madonna. I was sad and then... Madonna. Always a good idea.
Career Goalsexcited making money GIF by HULUGiphy
"To go back to school and become a Horticulturist so I could work in legal weed. I did it!"
"Legally change my last name to match my grandfather's who basically stepped up and acted as my dad my whole life. Being in his mid nineties, he's notoriously hard to shop for as material things don't mean much to him anymore. He was honored!"
Back to School
"Drank too many beers and smoked one night with a buddy, and the next day we were both enrolled back in college after taking years off. Both got our degrees within the next two years. Doubt I would have ever went back if it wasn't for that night."
"I had a fiancé that cheated on me with a paramedic. I was very upset, hurt and pissed off. But I would've taken her back. In an effort to show that I was as good as that guy."
"I enrolled in the fire academy and graduated and then I went to EMT school. I was hired by a large metropolitan fire department. And five years ago after 30 years I retired. I never got her back but I got a great job that never seemed like a job and great retirement and besides that after thinking about it forget that witch!"
"I like to, on occasion, impulse buy in the snack isle while stoned, then put all the stuff away as soon as I'm home, then get more stoned. The idea is to be stoned and forget that bit happened and then later, I'd remember that I had awesome snacks and it feels like Christmas."
Pop!Erykah Badu Hat GIF by Soul TrainGiphy
"What if I invented a hat that could store a windbreaker in it? So if it starts to rain I just flick the hat and a water proof jacket pops out!"
Well that all sounds like a wealth of good ideas. Anything that gets people back to school and learning is a plus.
Roll-UpButter GIF by BTS 방탄소년단Giphy
"Roll-up butter. Basically a glue stick or chapstick tube of butter that you roll up to apply to toast. Turned out the Japanese had already beaten me to it."
People Explain Which Expensive Purchases Paid For Itself In The Long Run | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Say I Do!
"I once got myself ordained as a minister during a break up and paid the extra for the certificate. It came to the house I was moving out of because my ex and I broke up. I picked up my mail and couldn't figure out what it was, so as my ex sat on the couch, I opened it. I then jokingly asked her to marry me because I knew a guy who could do the ceremony cheap. It turns out, it's not valid in most of Canada, including my province, unless I petition the court or something, which I wasn't about to do."
"A large boat that bakes donuts and sells them at ripoff prices on credit to seafaring recreationals."
"I had a similar highdea, a food truck/convenience store that goes to beaches in summer. Here in NZ even popular beaches can be quite isolated, so if you forget something you're buggered. A truck selling pies and lighters would go a long way."
"Sitting on my porch one evening, I remembered my car was on empty. I figured I'd drive to the gas station down the street so I wouldn't have to rush in the morning. The weather was really nice and I thought "man, I should just walk there."
"Problem was he was so high and that he always walked to the place, so he walked back home. He forgot and the next day he called my friend and his mom asking if they borrowed his car and ended up filing a police report. I don't know who found it but it made me laugh."
"Vadergrams. When you like somebody and you want to give them something but you have no excuse, you send a vadergram. A guy dressed up as Darth Vader goes and delivers a present and says "happy birthday" and they say "But it isn't my birthday," and dude says "I have altered the birthday - pray I do not alter it any further" and walks away."
Awake Mealsinsomnia GIFGiphy
"A cereal called Insomniacs. Think kind of like Lucky Charms but the marshmallows (stars, moons, and suns) are little yummy melatonins."
- Get a stainless steel double walled ice cream bowl. Yes, you need one.
- Pour in a cup of frozen, pitted cherries.
- Add a cup of cereal. Frosted mini wheats are perfect for this. Even unsweetened cereals work well.
- Top up with cold milk and stir.
- Wait just long enough for the cherries to partially defrost and for the milk to get really, really cold.
- Enjoy… each bite should have cereal and a cherry."
"I crave this more than ice cream at times, sober or faded, and it's better for you. If you make it right, you feel a delightful cold sensation in your palate, esophagus, chest and stomach without ever getting an ice cream headache. Poor man's bingsu parfait."
While watching South Park
"Watching South Park, I decided that (most) social media is high risk low reward and I'd rather be blissfully ignorant. It's tremendously improved my happiness. I say most bc reddit, to me doesn't count. I'm more of a lurker and liker and my algorithm on here only shows me happy things and memes. Some times I won't understand memes because I've removed myself from how I was receiving news. Some times I feel kinda behind but I always feel happier than I used to looking at everyone's garbage."
Best of Wendy's
"Used to work at a Wendy's where pretty much all the employees were lethally stoned at any given time especially those of us who usually worked closing. Anyway one particularly slow day we just went out to the parking lot and smoked a joint and then came back inside and made baconator fries but put literally every cheese in the store in them and a ton more bacon and mix them up in one of the salad cartons. It was great."
"A game show totally based on lies. You have like 4 contestants, 2 two have totally made up personas, 1 just has a weird lifestyle/career, and the last one has to figure out which one is telling the truth. Also cheesy bacon tater tots."
"Once while high, I thought about dried fruit. I love dried apples, pears, nectarines, etc. but no one sold dried grapes. I kept thinking about it and how good they would probably be. Sober me remembered raisins."
Yeah, why do raisins suck so much? I could never make sense of it. The source material is dope but something gets lost in the translation..."
Complex and Compelling
"I do some of my best work high. Recently I wrote a highly technical software and biochemistry manual high. I get really in the zone with "take complex info and find good ways to structure and present it" stuff for some reason. Super nerdy, but "get high and build the world's best spreadsheet" is very compelling to me."'
The main plot is happening to someone else...
"I was baked & playing Skyrim, realized just how satisfying hours of side quests can be. I want an RPG that is all side quests. The main plot is happening to someone else. Your primary focus is to bring that nice old lady some flowers, or to clear trolls from a cave. Let the other guy deal with the big bad demons or war or whatever, you've got an errand to run for the shopkeep."
"You do get affected by the war etc, a bridge blew out so you have to take another route, supplies are low so prices are climbing and you have to really hunt for things, you overhear people in town complaining about burnt fields or having fearful conversations in the pub. Every now and then you'll see a dude in crazy armor sprint by, but mostly you're just going about your day. If it was done right, I'd play tf out of that game."
Smell it UpStop Motion Christmas GIF by Cosmic TeaGiphy
"An artificial Christmas tree with a plug for pine scented plug ins. So all the smell with none of the mess."
Aren't all cereals made for insomniacs? Like who hasn't snarfed down Cocoa Pebbles at 3am? Keep puffing y'all, and then head to shark tank.
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