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People Explain Which Childhood Event Their Friends Still Tease Them About

People Explain Which Childhood Event Their Friends Still Tease Them About

Your friends will always remember you when you were at your best, your worst, and your downright silly.

Don't believe us? I still have friends that remind me of that time I thought it was a good idea to shave my legs. It's not that there was anything wrong with that per se, it's that I was itchy as hell for close to a week. Did I mention that the itch would get unbearable at the most unfortunate times?

I'll spare you the remaining details, as this is not about me, as much as you'd like it to be, Constant Reader.

After Redditor xomega asked the online community, "What is something that your friends still make fun of you about even though it happened forever ago?" many weighed in with their tales of embarrassment.


"I have a friend..."

I have a friend who looked like Jesus back in high school. We all still message him on Christmas Eve to wish him a happy birthday.

Lugbor

"Turns out blood..."

I had severe eczema as a kid. Used to bleed all over the place.

Friend had black lights in his basement - I was over there all the time, one day was super hot in the summer and I wanted to change my shirt.

Turns out blood shows up in black lights - My whole body basically looked like it was glowing white.

He called me "firefly" for a while.

LargeSnorlax

"I popped up real quick..."

"Am I still pretty?" Black out drunk with friends, we decided to walk and get more snacks. A friend told me she would give me a piggyback ride so I ran at her back at jumped. She wasn't ready and fell forwards, resulting in me awkwardly going over her, landing on the pavement and sliding on my face. I popped up real quick, felt at the blood on my face, and shouted out, full of panic to my friends, "AM I STILL PRETTY?" I looked like I had barely survived a car accident. I was not pretty in that moment but my friends all kindly assured me I was still beautiful as they drunkenly applied first aid. This was years ago, we all went our separate ways but i still hear it every time I run into them in our small city. I healed up nicely with a small scar.

tor_92

"When you discover..."

When you discover a spider with some weight is crawling across your face, you may make an involuntary noise. If that noise happens to be high pitched, you don't want to be around my friends if you never want to hear about it again.

BlandstanderB

"The best I could come up with..."

In my 2nd year of middle school, in French class, we had to do short conversations with groups of 2-3 people in front of the class. I had to do my conversation with this girl that I didn't really know and with who I barely talked. We had prepared the entire conversation because we were still allowed to back then. The conversation was just someone passing by the supermarket and talking to a cashier. I knew in advance (or at least I thought I knew) what she was going to ask, which was something about the weather, so in my head I already had the sentence I would have to respond ready.

So.. Then it was our turn. We go to the front of the class. The nerves were killing me, but everything was going to be alright because I knew what I had to say. Suddenly the girl I was doing the dialogue with asks me "Ca va bien?" which means "How are you". This was not how I planned it to go. It's a simple question but it really threw me off, so I started getting really nervous and I just couldn't think of the right words for a response. LITERALLY A WHOLE MINUTE OF ME SAYING "ERM" PASSES before the girl I was doing the dialogue with asks, in the middle of the dialogue, "Can I go to the restroom?". Meanwhile I still didn't have my answer ready, and I still didn't when she came back probably almost 5 minutes later.

The best I could come up with was "Bien", which isn't even a full answer, it should have been "Ca va bien" or something like that. So to this day my friends still answer with "Bien" when someone asks them how they are doing.

Fluffle12345

"We had just redone..."

Giphy

When I was 12, my friend and I were FaceTiming on my iPod touch. We had just redone my kitchen, and I was placing the iPod in all the new cabinets so she could see them. Then got the brilliant idea to put the iPod in my microwave, and then turn it on. Yeah, not sure what went through my brain that day. That was 8 years ago now and she still brings it up when we meet someone new.

olivalolz28

"To this day..."

When I was around ten years old, so fifteen years ago, my school had its traditional school disco. For some reason I thought drinking as many cups of the free lemonade as possible would make me really cool. Over the course of what could have only been a couple of hours, I drank somewhere between twenty and thirty of those small plastic cups (like, 7oz/200ml cups) of lemonade, threw up everywhere, and had to leave. To this day I don't know why I did that, and my oldest friends still bring it up.

EllieEmmeno

"When I was 18..."

When I was 18 and a Freshman in college I heat up a pop tart in the microwave. Turns out when you do this, especially if you microwave it for a long time, the goo inside turns to boiling lava. I pulled that sucker out and it disintegrated and some of the boiling goo got on my thumb resulting in a pretty severe second degree burn. It's been 17 years and on a weekly basis I am still endlessly mocked.

Ksilverstar25

"It wasn't too long ago..."

It wasn't too long ago, almost a year since it happened. I was in my last year of secondary school, and my family decided to move house about 6 miles away, so sometimes I would take the train with my mate in the mornings to get to school.

One day, I ring my friend on the way to the station and she got on an earlier train than our usual one, so I waited for that one and would have met her once I got there. I see a train approach, and due to extreme anxiety I assume this is the one.

But when the doors close and the train starts going, I notice this one has less coaches than it should. So I ask the guy next to me "Does this train go to (my destination)" and he goes "No, this goes to (other place)."

I'm panicked. I get off at the next stop and had to wait to get the train back to where I was then finally get where I wanted to go. I missed the whole of my first period in school. My friends pissed themselves when I explained why. And to this day, even after school finished, they mention to "get the right one this time" and basically laugh loads.

I never took another train to school after this incident.

TheBadOof

"Literally was just eating..."

My friends still make jokes about me using a can of peanut butter to pleasure myself with because they saw a can of of peanut butter next to my computer. Literally was just eating a snack of apples and peanut butters, and I've been putting up with the joke for 8 years...

BagelsAreStaleDonuts

The Most Unprofessional Thing A Doctor Has Ever Said To A Patient

Reddit user Monsah asked: 'What is the most unprofessional thing a doctor has said to you?'

surgeons looking down at patient

National Cancer Institute on Unsplash

"I shall do by my patients as I would be done by; shall obtain consultation whenever I or they desire; shall include them to the extent they wish in all important decisions; and shall minimize suffering whenever a cure cannot be obtained, understanding that a dignified death is an important goal in everyone's life."

~ English translation of the modern abridged Hippocratic Oath

It is the hope of those seeking medical help that the medical professionals providing it will be just that—professional.

But no profession is immune to bad days, bad attitudes or bad apples.

Keep reading...Show less
shallow focus of a woman's sad eyes
Photo by Louis Galvez on Unsplash

When it comes to making a point, the stronger language you use, the better.

Sometimes, this is true of insults too. If you use strong language, the insult may hurt more. This language may include curse words. A lot of times, cursing while insulting someone is a surefire way to make sure the insult lands the way it was intended.

However, this is not always true.

Redditors know it's completely possible to deliver savage insults without using curse words, and are eager to share their favorites.

It all started when Redditor ILikeExistingLol asked:

"What's an absolutely devastating insult without any cuss words?"

Bad Breath

""First of all, brush your teeth...""

– iSniffMyPooper

"I literally just brushed my teeth because of this comment. I was gonna put it off for a little later, but I couldn't after reading that."

– ClumsyGhostObserver

"A coworker who never showers, washes his clothes, or brushes his teeth was trying to intimidate me once and I told him the scariest thing about him was his breath. He hasn’t spoken to me since."

– Floptopus

"“Well, at least you have more teeth than IQ points.”"

– Average_Aloe

"About the same in his case, really."

– Floptopus

Yikes! That Face!

""I never forget a face. But in your case, I'll be glad to make an exception.""

"– Groucho Marx"

– chumloadio

""You have the face for a career in radio.""

– badmother

""...and a voice for print.""

– Byanl

If Only We Never Met

"I miss the feeling of not knowing you."

– Swivel_D

"I think Shakespeare once said something along the lines of "I wish we were better strangers.""

– Non_Music_Prodigy

Crime Against Humanity

"Have you ever considered that perhaps your low self-esteem is just good common sense?"

– pantsoncrooked

"I'd say shots fired but damn that's a nuclear warhead."

– RBpositive

Winston Churchill

"“He’s a humble man with much to be humble about.”"

"-Winston Churchill"

– Triton289

"Another Winston favorite: “Madam, I may be drunk, but you are ugly. Tomorrow, I will be sober.”"

– hdroadking

"Some lady: “If you were my husband, I’d poison your drink.”"

"Churchill: “If you were my wife, I’d drink it.”"

"May be slightly different wording."

– No-comment-at-all

"Lady Astor! She was an interesting person."

– Rare_Parsnip905

Wrong!

""I could agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.""

– shaidyn

""You're entitled to your opinion. It's wrong, but you're entitled to it.""

– a_in_hd

Tough Love

"A teacher called my son success-avoidant 3 years ago and he still thinks about that every day. But it did motivate him to get an A in that class, and all his other classes too!"

– OhSassafrass

"Damn, a harsh truth can be very motivating."

– InverstNoob

What I Like About You

"“Do you know what I like about you?”"

"When they say “what?”, you reply, “See? You can’t think of anything either.”"

– Axeman517

"These are always the most devastating ones, when you set them up to expect a compliment."

– TruCelt

"It's risky though. If they actually give an answer, like some cocky "that i'm hot?" or whatever, then you'll have to think fast."

– Ketcunt

""No, that's definitely not it. I'll keep thinking, I'm sure something will come to me.""

– OnionMiasma

Rumor Has It

""I had to see for myself, but people are absolutely right about you.""

"No cussing, no meanness, but they'll get paranoid about who's talking about them and their reputation."

– NinjatheClick

Intelligence Called Out

"Your grades say marry rich, but your face says study harder."

– rrashad21

"Please donate your brain to science, at least that way someone will actually use it."

– MembraneintheInzane

Oooh!

"You are impossible to underestimate."

"You never fail to meet my expectations."

– Zyhre

Hilarious

"You couldn't guess which way an elevator is going if you had three guesses."

– Edward_the_Dog

"I love this insult because you have a moment of silence afterward as the insultee pieces it together."

– -Envixity

I love that one; it's brilliant. I'm using this as soon as I get an opportunity!

office full of desks and workers

Alex Kotliarskyi on Unsplash

I once worked in a cubicle farm doing finance and accounting. A new employee disappeared just a few hours after the day started.

Eventually they were found.

On the floor.

Under their desk.

Sleeping.

They were promptly fired once they woke up. I wonder how their version of the story goes.

While that was a ridiculous way to be fired, for these folks, the employers were the ones with questionable judgment.

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Anyone who has gone on a few dates knows a few things that they like and don't like to see in a relationship, and they definitely know what some of their dealbreakers are.

But there are some dealbreakers that, when looked at from the outside, are totally petty in nature.

Redditor bigdawgcat asked:

"What is the pettiest reason why you wouldn't date somebody?"

Food Allergies

"I have a friend who stopped dating someone because he found out they were lactose intolerant."

"His example of why was, what if I taste a really great dessert, and I want to share the experience with her, and she can’t even taste it."

- Horknut1

"I know someone who is allergic to alliums (garlic, onions, etc.). I could never date this person as there is no meal I could make which doesn't include them in some amount."

- Fixes_Computers

"Same with peanut allergies. I love peanut butter too much to start a relationship with someone who couldn't be in the same room with it, not when there are plenty of other wonderful people who can. If the allergy suddenly developed long into the relationship, that would be a different case."

- cottagecheeseobesity

The Ups and Downs of Physical Fitness

"A college friend of mine was dating a girl who was amazing, smart, and funny, and she had put on a few extra pounds recently, which bothered him (don’t shoot the messenger)."

"We were driving at night down a big hill on a hot summer night and saw a young woman running up the hill toward us, really sweating, face purple, and looking pretty haggard, huffing and puffing."

"He made a comment like, 'Holy s**t, this girl is struggling.' We got closer and realized it was her."

"Long awkward pause. 'Well, I’m going to have to break up with her,' he said."

"Fast forward six months, and we ran into her at a pub, and she was in absolutely perfect shape."

"When he tried to make a move, she told him aloud, in front of a table full of her friends, 'That she wasn’t interested in him, and that he had dumped her for getting fat.' Top five funniest takedowns I’ve ever seen."

"Fast forward 10 years, he’s been divorced twice and has had a long list of s**tty relationships. The end."

- Much_Progress_4745

Conspiracy Theory Investment

"If they’re into conspiracy theories. I dated a guy who was and it consumed his life. It’s all he talked about."

"I couldn’t even watch a movie with him because he would talk through the whole thing about how it relates to certain conspiracy theories…"

"I also could never enjoy my food. We would make a big dinner on Friday nights to start the weekend, we both had a long day at work... we’d sit down to finally eat and he’d pull out his phone and put on conspiracy videos, and he’d make me watch them sooo loudly while I ate. And he’d talk through all of them too."

"I could never tell him that I wasn’t interested or I just wanted to eat because he’d get mad. It ruined my whole meal... I think most people like to eat in peace.. also he’d spend hundreds of items he needed in case we ever got attacked by 'skin walkers'... Never again."

- Low-Sky-4812

Eating Noises

"They slurp when they drink or smack when they eat."

- just-say-it-

"Soup should be seen and not heard."

- Playful-Profession-2

Same Names, Same Problems

"I will never date or f**k another Anthony ever again. I’ve dated or had a relationship with three different Anthonys at three different ages and they all turned out badly."

- SylphofBlood

"I had a friend years back that had three bad boyfriends, one after the other, each more of a D-bag than the last. Each one was named Rob."

"When talking to her one night, having a few beers, she complained that she always attracts d**kheads and then she asked what she should do. So having had a drink or six, I just blurted out, 'Maybe don't date anymore Robs.'"

"Anyway, the next guy she dated was Steve... they got married."

- vejbok

Love for Animals

"My cat said hello to her and she didn't say hi back."

- StephenHawkings_Legs

"I had a one-night stand kick my cat off of the bed. First, never ever have I kicked a cat. But I did kick that guy out of my house and my life. Instantly. GET THE F**K OUT. NOW."

- e11spark

"Not petty. If someone ignored my dog greeting them, I would be put off, too."

- A-Yandere-Succubus

Unexpected Sleeping Arrangements

"He slept in those tiny no-show socks. Let me be clear, he didn't wear them any other time than when he went to bed."

"There were some other, more real, red flags, but when I saw him whip them out and put them on the second time we slept together, I legitimately thought to myself: 'Actually, I don't think I can fix this one.'"

- Potential-Plastic-66

Matching Clothes

"He wore the same shirt on both of our dates.

Get this, years later, I get into the elevator at work and he's there. IN THE SAME SHIRT."

"I wanted so badly to demand to know if he has multiples or just one! Or find out which department he was in and stalk him. Unfortunately, I had given in my two weeks and didn't work in that building often."

- SunflowerSeed33

Different Interests

"If a woman has a horse in her dating profile, you will never be more important than that horse."

"(It may be petty, but it's backed up by personal experience)."

- No-Hat-689

"Horse girls do really love their horses, so I believe you. And I can't blame you."

- dumpster_cherries

"Worst of all, if you break up with the girl you won't be able to see the horse again! Imagine how heartbreaking that would be."

- one-eye-fox

Social Media Schemes

If they have emojis like their signs, or money signs, or airplanes, or some s**t like that in their bio. Just seems like some scammer or Ponzi scheme s**t."

- UrinePulp

Weakness?

"Wasn't me, but a female friend broke up with a guy because 'his allergies were a sign of weakness.'"

"Yeah, I responded the same way you did."

- Street-Comb1000

"My brother believes this about my allergies. He thinks I 'shoulda grown out of it by now.' Infuriating."

- I_Stan_Kyrgyzstan

Finals Week Troubles

​"Because her eye was twitching while we were talking to each other. I was a dumb freshman in college. This girl was super attractive and smart, and we got along great."

"For some unfathomable reason, this made me want to not talk to her again."

"Later it dawned on me that it was during finals and she was heavily caffeinated and that can be a side effect. She dodged a bullet because I was a complete dingleberry, lol (laughing out loud)."

- Atlas88-

Deal-breaking Voices

"I briefly dated a young woman who was insanely out of my league. People stared when we went out."

"Anyway, her voice was like Minnie Mouse, and I just couldn't take it. I still feel bad about that one."

- Pickleliver

Dental Preferences

​"Not me, but I had a friend who wouldn’t date this guy because he had one crooked tooth. He was the nicest guy truly a wonderful person. Like if I hadn’t been in a serious relationship I would’ve dated this guy."

"Fast forward, he meets a wonderful woman, and they get married, and my friend was all weird about it."

"I asked why and she said, 'Well, I thought he liked me enough to get his twisted tooth fixed.'"

"It was the silliest thing I’ve ever heard."

- Foxy_locksy1704

Preferred Facial Features

"I knew and almost dated a girl who talked out the side of her mouth. I’m not sure if that’s the best way to describe it, but that’s all I thought about when she spoke."

"Like, the front of her lips barely moved, and it was like a weird little smirk kinda thing when she spoke. I couldn’t get past it."

- newadventures96

"Weird ick: people with big/wide mouths. Why can I see all of your teeth and the back of your throat while you’re talking? You don’t need to open it that much just because you can."

- burritoboles

When one Redditor wanted to hear others' "petty" reasons for not wanting to date someone, their fellow Redditors really delivered. While some of these could simply be a matter of taste, like finding some facial features attractive where others do not, some of these, like allergies, are pretty, pretty petty.