People can be jerks. I don't know who came up with that whole sticks and stones saying, but words can absolutely hurt you. Before you go any further, let me go ahead and slap a big ol' trigger warning label on this one. One Reddit user asked:
What is the cruelest thing someone has told you?
And the depths of cruelty in some people is incredible. If you're sensitive to words of cruelty, I'm going to strongly suggest you don't continue - or snuggle with a puppers while you do. We totally needed an emergency hug after reading some of these.
Word For Word
An Ex once told me:
"The reason you try so hard to please everyone, the reason you give so much love that it's suffocating, is because you know that other than affection, you have nothing to offer anyone. You're a burden on everyone you care about. We all barely tolerate you. I don't know how you've made it this far in life."
I'll never forget that. Word for word.
I was born through IVF. My mother once told me she wished she spent the money on something she could be proud of instead. She now denies having ever said that.
"I Was Just Tired Of Seeing You Happy"
I was best friend with a girl throughout 7th grade and into 8th grade when one day after winter break she suddenly stopped talking to me. I spent years wondering what I could had done since she seamlessly turned all of our mutual friends against me too. Fast forward to senior year in high school and we met again during a college visit thru a program. She asked me if I wanted to know why she stopped being my friend and wearily I said yes bc why not.
"No reason, I was just tired of seeing you happy and getting to live the best life so I told everyone what a horrible friend you were to me when I was depressed. Sorry."
I said nothing and just walked away. Really messed with my head for the longest time. Kids can be cruel but that's just messed up.
Grieving For Attention
I've been the only real father to one of my step-sons (though he's always been a real son to me) for 13 years. 6 months ago he died. A couple days after, my wife was arguing with me and screamed, "it's not your son that died!" she has since said that my grieving at his funeral seemed to be to make it about me and accused me of my grief being for attention.
I'd say that was pretty cruel.
The Sound Of My Voice
A girl I had dated for awhile in 2007-2008 told me that she hated the sound of my voice and that she hoped something happened to me so I'd never be able to talk again.
I've kind of always hated my voice, and her saying that kind of ruined me.
The Colored Grandkids
My father, when we told him that we would be adopting outside of our race. He was livid and asked us if we realized how humiliating that would be for him. He was already tired of trying to explain why one of his sons married an immigrant. Now he was going to have to explain why another one of his sons has biracial/black children.
After he repeadly called my kids (and my brother's half Korean kids) the "colored grandkids" and called my son the n-word for being fussy while teething, I told him he either had to stop or I was cutting him out of my life for good. He asked me if I was going to choose them over blood. My kids are 14 and 13 now and I haven't talked to him since.
I am huge on the importance of family so it was a tough thing to do but it was one of the best decisions I have made in my life (behind marrying my wife and adopting our kids) and my brothers, who are all no contact with him now, and I are so much closer because of it. We take all of our kids out camping on father's day to celebrate us as dads and forget about our own father. My kids are very close to their cousins and their uncles and aunts. My brothers come to my daughter's concerts and my son's sporting events when they can make it. I go to their kids events as well.
My boyfriend got pissed because his birthday fell on father's day this year and I told him I wanted to still be with my family and he flipped out on me and told me I have no reason to celebrate fathers day because my dad is dead, so I don't even have a father. I immediately went completely, scarily insane on him because screw him and went to see my sister's father anyways.
"Nothing I Can Do About It"
The day after we found out my 46 year old wife had two months to live, my mother drove to our house to say "There's nothing I can do about it." My 43 year old younger brother, unemployed and still living with his mother, needed her help to get his vacation in before his unemployment compensation ran out so that was a priority.
Me with two grade school children and a dying wife was not as important.
A Lousy Parent Who Didn't Deserve A Child
When my son died of S.I.D.S at the age of 5 months. I started receiving condolence cards from neighbors and such.
One card came unaddressed with a return, in other words anonymous.
I open the card and it's one of those that is blank and you fill in your message.
Someone had stuck a clipping of a poem in it that talked about how "children are a gift from heaven sent to people worthy of them"
They then signed it,
" You must have been a lousy parent who didn't deserve a child for God to take your son away from you."
I think I cried as hard as when I found my son dead. It was like he died all over again.
I NEVER found out who sent it but I had a pretty good idea since I inventoried all the neighbors who sent cards and the only one I didn't have one from was the hateful couple that lived across the street -- unless you counted the anonymous one as being from them.
Sometimes --- even 39 years later it still stings when I think about it.
From The Man Who Killed Her
"Your mother was pregnant when she died".
From the man who killed her. He's my father. His mother got custody of me, and thus, a-visiting we would go... every other weekend for four long years.
I talk about in on reddit a bit, because how the hell do you ever get this stuff out otherwise.