Spooked People Admit The Weirdest Occurrences They've Ever Experienced
We've all had those moments where something happens and we just can't explain it. Normally, they're small things like deja vu or totally losing track of time. Every now and then, though, something happens that leaves us not just scratching our heads, but legitimately confused and a little spooked. Or a lot spooked, in some of these cases. One Reddit user asked:
What's a real-life "glitch" you've experienced that you still can't explain?
They got thousands of answers, but we picked out a few to share with you. So turn on your lights, make sure you're not alone and have a nice funny baby hippo video on deck for brain bleach. Have any of these sorts of things happened to you? Sound off in the comments once you're done reading. Ready? Let's go.
Spooky Weed Ghost
Oh, and I have a dead guy at my house now, but not typical dead guy stuff. He does the exact same thing at the exact same time every Saturday night. When I first moved here, I called the police on him twice before I realized he wasn't really there.
So when I moved in, I found a LOT of marijuana growing in the back. I started digging it out because it was still illegal then. The first time it happened I had gotten in late and realized I left some work in the car, so I went back out to get it and I see this younger adult male walking behind my shop. I figured he was one of a group of kids who'd planted the weed in the back, since the house had been unoccupied for a year or so. I yelled at him to get out, that the place was no longer unoccupied, and that the weed was gone. He stopped dead in his tracks, turned around, and took three steps towards me - not away. So I'm thinking I'm about to die. Then he stops, looks over his shoulder, and waves like he's just seen a friend - then walks backwards two steps before turning around and walking towards the shop, where he disappeared.
I've seen it two more times and so have other people. Saturday nights about 1235am, this MFer appears, walks towards the garage, stops, takes three steps towards my house, looks over his shoulder, waves, takes two steps backward, turns to keep walking that direction, and disappears.
If you got an explanation, I want to hear it.
9/10/2001
My mother died in May 2001 and it hit all of us hard. By September, we were all still sleeping in the same room - my dad, my baby sister, and me. I worked swing shift as a nurse at the time and on September 10th, 2001, I had done a day and swing double shift and got home at about 11:30 PST and fell asleep almost immediately. I have no memory of it, but both my dad and my sister swear that I popped back up at 3am and started packing bags, yelling:
_"They hit the pentagon, we're under attack, we need to go like RIGHT NOW." _
I was apparently quite insistent to the point that they had to physically restrain me. A few hours later, the World Trade Center was hit and they thought it was weird. My dad told me then:
_"Wow, this is really F-ed up because last night you were screaming that the pentagon was under attack." _
And then they announced that the pentagon was hit just a few minutes later. It is still the craziest f*cking thing to me.
Can You Hear Me Now?
OH! I called my friend at his home on a North Carolina mountain. Definitely had the right number. Sometimes I'd get him, sometimes I'd get an old lady. I felt bad for interrupting her day/evening so often, and I asked where she lived to figure out what was happening - she described the same location as his house (there was only one house on his part of this mountain). Creepy af, they didn't have any neighbors yet this woman was answering his phone line somehow.
That's So Raven
I've had moments where I "see the future" with extreme detail of doing something, then blinking and being right there before it happens. It's has ranged from randomly walking out into the street and getting hit by a bus, to kissing some random girl in the street. I'm like 99% sure I'm seeing other timelines or something.
Blast From The Past
Was walking at the local fair with my kid and SO, and we walked past 3 kids that looked EXACTLY like me & my 2 friends years before. Doubt it was, but uncanny
Suddenly Fluent
It was my first day at a new Tae Kwon Do-place by my college, and before class started I met this dude that I had a strange feeling of having known forever. It legitimately felt like he was my biological brother. His parents came in to drop something off, and talked with him for quite a while. As I walked past them, the weirdest thing happened.
They were speaking in German, but I could understand every single thing they said to each other. I was so weirded out I had to double check with him after, and he confirmed that they had said exactly what I had heard.
I have never taken a single German class in my life. He tried to speak in German again, and I couldn't understand a single thing he said.
For 15 seconds of my life, I was fluent in German.
Nintendo Confirms It
One morning I woke up, rolled out of bed, brushed, had breakfast as usual, and then went about my day off. I lounged around the house a little bit, played my Nintendo DS for a bit. Plinked away on my guitar. A typical lazy morning.
Suddenly I'm driving in my car a couple towns over on my way to the store. I pulled over and tried to collect my thoughts. I remembered waking up and getting ready, watering plants, cleaning my stuff up in the living room, then hopping in my car. But I also remembered doing all of the stuff from that other version of that morning.
I checked my DS later in the day. It had records showing I had played that morning. So I had two separate days that suddenly merged into one and kept both memories?
Just One Step
I was walking on the sidewalk along a busy road when suddenly with a step, the whole damn world changed around me. It was a crazy hot day but suddenly it was cool and cloudy, there were only a few cars on the road and lots of people riding bicycles. I remember seeing a girl in a blue dress out of the corner of my eye. It was so surreal, but with the next step I was back in the usual reality and to this day I have no idea what happened.
Let's Go Inside, Honey. It's Evil Out Here.
Girlfriend and I were talking on her front lawn. Mid sentence, I felt something.....evil.....to my left. I stopped talking and turned. She did too.
Saw some sort of shadowy humanoid around 30 feet away. Light was enough that it was obviously not a person.
She asked "Do you see that?" She didn't know why I stopped talking. I nodded. Without another word we both ran inside.
No idea what it was. I would call it a trick of the light, but it was out of my vision when I originally got that feeling.
The Sequence
Here's the sequence of events:
- Roommate went to work at 4pm.
- One of my friends drove me to the airport at 8pm so I could catch my midnight flight to Japan.
- Roommate returns home from work at 11pm-ish, makes dinner, and starts making music on his computer.
- At 12:05am, my flight takes off and I'm airborne.
- I take my sleeping pills and fall asleep on the plane at around 1-1:30am? Here's where it gets weird.
- At 1am-ish, my roommate hears me come home. Obviously, he freaks out because he thought my flight got cancelled, so he came out to ask what was up.
- He actually sees me in the living room, but for some reason, my face is facing away from him the entire time as he tries to talk to me.
- I allegedly rush over to my desk and sat down at my laptop, before disappearing into the couch and laughing at him in my disembodied voice.
He told me about it on Skype when I landed in Japan, which freaked me out, and made me not want to return home. I still can't think of a rational explanation, as my friend was completely straight-edge and never even drank alcohol.
Maybe an out of body experience?
Time Traveling Shower
Will never understand this for as long as I live.
In high school I liked to wake up early in the mornings so I'd have time to eat breakfast, watch tv, maybe do some last minute homework and relax before I'd begin my day.
I always sat my alarm at 6:00 am.
So that morning as usual my phone alarm went off. I grabbed my phone to turn it off. I distinctly remember reading a text message from a friend (who was an early riser like me) asking me did I want to grab fried rice later that night with the rest of our friends. He sent this at 5:39 am. It was still September, so the sun was always up at this hour.
I got out of bed and immediately hopped in the shower. When I got out I headed down to the kitchen to brew coffee and make some breakfast. While I was waiting on the coffee pot to heat up I ran back to my room to grab my phone.
When I looked down at my phone I just about croaked.
The time on the phone read 3:30 am. To make matters worse I looked outside and the sun wasn't even up yet. What's even weirder was I never had even received that text from my friend.
I just sat there bewildered and frustrated, running through the chain of events from that morning over and over again. I eventually made my way back to the kitchen. Seeing that I was wide awake now I didn't need coffee anymore. I stayed up the rest of the morning not even trying to attempt sleep again. Later that morning something even stranger happened.
At 5:39 am I received that text message from my friend.
I've spent a lot of time over the years trying to decipher the events from that morning. All I know is that somehow I woke up in the future and my shower took me back to the present.
Landmarks
When I was about 13-14, I went on a trip to another state with my church youth group. We drove through the country for hours in a region I had never been to before. Eventually we ended up in a small town. I was looking out the window and realized I knew this town as if I had lived there before.
Like... I knew the post office would be a few blocks ahead on the right, and then--sure enough--there it was. Weirder, I knew what the buildings would look like. I predicted the location of all the landmarks in the town before we were close enough to see them, and all of the predictions were correct. It was very spooky and got the other kids on the bus a little riled up.
Call Me Maybe?
I'm not the kind of person to have a great many friends - but those friends I do keep are sacred to me.
So one evening I was getting out of a subway to go to my apartment when I see an old friend, one I haven't seen in the flesh in a few years. He was heading into the subway. I call out his name, he turns, waves and makes this "Call me" gesture - then the doors close and the subway rides off.
Thirty seconds later, my phone rings. It was my friend, who told me he'd just seen me get in the normal train he'd used to get home from the bar. According to him, I had grinned, waved, gestured "Call me!" the door shut and the train drove off.
I lived in Rotterdam. He lived in Enschede. That's just over 200km apart. (or about 125 miles)
Recalculating...
Once when running a route/neighborhood I'd run a hundred times I went to cross a street and suddenly lost all sense of direction. I slowly stopped and tried to orient myself with street signs and landmarks, but nothing made sense.
I know, I know - it sounds like dementia, but I was only in my 30's and had never experienced it before or since. It was as if the matrix reloaded and I was pointed in a different direction than before the reload, but my body still remembered the direction I was going.
Grandma's Home
My brother's room shared a bathroom with my room down in the basement. One day as I was about to take my shower we hear the dogs upstairs barking--indicating my grandparents were home. We both heard the door from the garage open and close. And we heard voice and footsteps.
My brother says he is going to go up and hang out with them while I take my shower. Before I can even get in the shower, he is knocking at the bathroom door--frantic. He insists no one is upstairs. The dogs are worked up but no grandparents and no car in the garage. This is impossible. We both clearly heard the garage door, the voice and the footsteps.
As we're trying to figure this out--it all happens all over again--dogs barking, door, voices, footsteps. This all happened within like five minutes. This time we both go up and my grandparents are home.
One of the weirdest things I've ever experienced.
Motorcycle Man
When I was 7 or 8 I was playing in my yard by myself. It was a really quiet summer afternoon and I suddenly heard a loud motorcycle and I saw a man in dark leather riding towards me. He was getting really close and kept coming straight towards me. I was terrified. He crashed and skidded to a stop in the ditch between me and the road. Kid me ran up to him and grabbed his hand and I remember it vividly as really warm and really solid like metal-y, not handlike.
I turned around for a second and he was gone. I thought that I'd imagined it, but there was a deep skid mark in the grass in our yard that I'd never seen before and has been there ever since. That might have just been a weird coincidence.
But I went over to the neighbor kid's place later in the day and they asked me right off the bat:
"Is the motorcycle guy okay?"
She'd seen a guy in all black crash a motorcycle in our yard. None of our parents had seen it. I just can't shake that eerie feeling.
Slow Down!
I lived in Vermont at the time.
I was driving down a dirt road when I heard a voice say, "Slow down! Slow down! Slow down!"
So I slowed to maybe 3-4 mph.
A herd of deer crossed in front of me. I would have been killed...
Bulletproof
My brother got shot in the stomach and the bullet bounced off and fell on the ground. Apparently it had traveled a long distance and lost a lot of velocity. It left a welt, but that was it.
And This Is Why We Don't Do Cardio
In high school I was an avid runner due to being on the wrestling team. I'd run late at night when it was cool out. One night I was running wearing a crew neck with my schools name on it.
About half way through the run an elderly man on an old style Schwinn bike caught up with me and asked me what I was doing out so late. We both stopped and said I was on the wrestling team and pointed to my sweatshirt. His eyes lit up and he said
_"Ha! I used to coach those clowns. Keep at it boy!" _
We exchanged goodbyes and then he sped off on his bike at an ungodly speed. The next school day I told my coach about the story and described what the old man looked like. My coach turned pale and said:
_"That sounds like old coach Hains.. he collected Schwinns." _
I told him that was cool. Then my coach followed with:
"Yeah.. and he's been dead for 10 years..."
No more late night runs for me, my dudes.
H/T: Reddit
People Break Down The Exact Moment They Realized They Were Being Manipulated By Someone They Trusted​​
Manipulation is designed to be stealthy. We hardly recognize it when it's happening to us because our abuser has forced it to appear under wraps.
But when we recognize it for what it really is, we really feel like we've been smacked across the face. There is no other descriptor for it. Usually we've trusted and loved those that manipulated us.
A Platitude Of Pleasing
<p>You never know where the next blowout is coming from. Any time something needs to be addressed, you might try to bring it up once, gently, if you're feeling brave. If you meet the slightest bit of resistance, or you don't feel like that fight in the first place, you just go "okay dear" instead. You find that you'll put the argument off until next time, and hope that whatever you thought to bring up won't have any consequences, because you'll be hearing about those, too. It sucks, and I'm glad you can speak about it in the past tense.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/TheGreatestAuk/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">TheGreatestAuk</a></p>Wrong Or Right Or Just Not Agreeing?
<p>When I started realizing that I was feeling like I was constantly walking on eggshells. I never knew which version of my friend I'd get when we saw each other, or when we hung out. I also just completely stopped disagreeing with them because I didn't want to hear them tell me how wrong I was if we didn't share the same viewpoint.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/WhatArcherWhat/" target="_blank">WhatArcherWhat</a></p>Being Used
<p>My best friend suddenly distanced herself from me. But every now and then she'd call and ask if I wanted to do something, and I was encouraged because I thought it meant that things were still good between us. It took me an embarrassingly long time to realize that she only called when she wanted to do something that required a ride, since she didn't have a car. The only thing I can say in my defense is that I don't use people that way so I didn't recognize user behavior. You can bet I do now.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Goldeverywhere/" target="_blank">Goldeverywhere</a></p>Hiding The Receipts
<p>I was living with my former best friend and his gf at the time. When I asked for grocery receipts (I trusted him & his ex to buy groceries bc I didn't have a car at the time + our work schedules were different so I couldn't go with them) and they wouldn't provide any. The only reason I became suspicious was bc they started asking for a ridiculous amount of money for my half and the actual amount of food wasn't adding up. Up until that point they never asked for a crazy amount and I was content with our groceries, but I noticed they became extremely greedy. When I then asked to see a banking statement, they wouldn't even provide me with that either.</p><p>At that point I just realized they were finessing me out of extra money and I started buying my own food. I just bit my tongue bc we only had like 2 months left on the lease. They tried to gaslight me and make me seem like the bad guy any chance they had (almost the entire time I lived with them actually). Eventually, I grew apart from him once I moved away and the only reason he hit me back up was bc she cheated on him so he probably didn't have anyone else to turn to (go figure). We don't talk anymore.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/0MG1MW3T/" target="_blank">0MG1MW3T</a></p>Ah Yes, Good Old DARVO
<p>My mother and I have always had a rocky relationship. She's always encouraged me to tell her what's wrong, however, any time I would she'd immediately go "sorry I'm such a terrible mother, I give you everything you want and it's still not good enough! Why don't you just go live with someone you don't hate?" Keep in mind this happens over small things such as "mom, I'd appreciate it if you'd knock before coming into my room. You know how easily I startle and you barging into my room really upsets me"</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/paytonc0510/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">paytonc0510</a></p>How Do You Do This To Someone
<p>8 years into the relationship. As we're sitting down he explains to me that the "first couple years" we were together he only saw me as a place to crash and free rides, but he loved me NOW, and even though I accomplished all the goals HE set for ME so we could get married he said "I never really thought you could do it". Oh and also you got fat, but don't worry we can fix it! It was like a magic veil lifted and I finally saw who he really was. F**k you James.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/DoNotUseOnHumans/" target="_blank">DoNotUseOnHumans</a></p>Be My Friend And Not Theirs
<p>She always managed to make me do things I didn't really want to do but the last straw was when she decided I had to stop being friends with two mates of mine over something stupid that offended her. </p><p>Cut her off over that and she then proceeded to act derisively ("you'll come back"), then badmouthed me and then begged me to take her back. Ten years later I am still friends with those two guys and she's still out of my life.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/FatherTedHackett/" target="_blank">FatherTedHackett</a></p>Victim Time
<p>When literally every time me and my mom talked she played the victim.</p><p>I was trying to help her raise me, ask me about my grades and stuff. For her I just existed, she wasn't responsible at all.</p><p>I grew up watching her play the victim to others, and I was always on her side, cuz she's my mom you know. Also I never really understood what was going on.</p><p>I started getting older and older, and seeing sh*t after sh*t she did. I understood what she did to my father, to my step-dad, to my sister, to her friends.</p><p>Probably I'd be the next one who she would use and throw away.</p><p>I talked to her... and you know the result. The victim. Nothing it's her fault.</p><p>The last time we talked, I was expecting the victim card. When she started speaking, I already knew what was going to happen. I didn't even said a word, I just agreed with her, and the next day I moved out. I'm not wasting my time.</p><p>It was the last day before quarantine, I remember it as if it was yesterday. Friday night: saturday morning I was packing my stuff.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/NotFromHeel/" target="_blank">NotFromHeel</a></p>Sixteen Years Of Made Up Lies
<p>After 16 years of marriage I realized my now ex was manipulating me. I would work and take care of the house and if I asked him to do something like get a job or clean up he would stage a mental breakdown and make me feel bad for asking him for help. </p><p>He would play up a horrible childhood or PTSD from the military to make me feel like I need to take care of him. Then would play on his computer all day and smoke while I worked. </p><p>Found out that a lot of his horrible childhood stories were made up and that he never made it through basic training in the military. I am happily with someone now but still catch myself cringing when he does things like cook or clean thinking that he is going to yell at me for being lazy. Meanwhile he loves me and is just doing things to take care of me. I'm working on deprogramming myself.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/HolyCelestialCow/" target="_blank">HolyCelestialCow</a></p>Sometimes It's The Mother-In-Law
<p>Took me until after the engagement to realize that my cheating ex fiancee was trying to browbeat me into submission.</p><p>Anywho, I quickly recognized emotional blackmail and manipulation from my MIL after getting married to a different girl years later due to that experience. I called her out on it.</p><p>She... Doesn't like that. But since my wife and sister-in-law and brother-in-law also recognize it they've got my back.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/engineertr1gg/" target="_blank">engineertr1gg</a></p>Just as new mothers encounter the sudden, influential developments of powerful hormone changes, protective instincts, and milk production, so new fathers undergo some key changes of their own.
Their socks become exclusively white, climbing higher up the calf than ever before. All their shorts sprout cargo pockets and clunky belt loop cell phone holders. They start to really lean in to their old records.
Regional LawsÂ
<p>"Dad, driving past a cemetery: Did you know anyone living in a 3 mile radius of a cemetery isn't allowed to be buried there?"</p><p>"Me: No, I had no idea. How come?"</p><p>"Dad: Yeah, you're not allowed to bury the living"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjk1d2k?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">TinyLuckDragon</a></p>For the Face Plant Image Â
<p>"Why do Scuba Divers fall backwards off a boat?"</p><p>"Because if they fell frontwards they'd still be on the boat" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjjv4mt?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">hatsnatcher23</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Just told this one to my bf and he still has his face in his hands" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjka0w7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">sxeoompaloompa</a></p>A Mammal of Few WordsÂ
<p>"What did the father buffalo say when his child left for school?"</p><p>"Bison" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjjp257?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">TatooineLight</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"LOL" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjjp9p0?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">BennuH</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Told this to my brother, he laughed his a** off." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjk4cvq?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Type10Civilization</a></p>Baggage
<p>"When I do home improvements I always use my step ladder"</p><p>"I never knew my real ladder" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjjlkab?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">DavosLostFingers</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Whoever took the ladder, please return it or further steps will be taken." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjm2htz?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">WaldhornNate</a></p>Woah Woah Woah, We're in PublicÂ
<p>"Me: I'm not very hungry, I just want something easy"</p><p>"Server: maybe the chicken strips for $6"</p><p>"Me: maybe it does, but that doesn't help my hunger" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjjuq78?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">mcnoobs_</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"My husband was facepalming for solid 8 minutes after I read that joke to him." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjnee7m?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Madanax</a></p>Not WrongÂ
<p>"Two dudes were on a boat with a few cigarettes, but they didn't have anything to light them, so they threw one of the cigarettes out of the boat, and the boat became a cigarette lighter." </p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjjkeoz?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">OrangeMirrorJuice</a></p>Watch the News Before Saying This OneÂ
<p>"Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?"</p><p>"It's okay, they eventually woke up."</p><p>"I cringe every time." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjk0ej7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">unicorndreamz94</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"My 10 year old tried this one a few weeks ago. Unfortunately, I had just read news about a missing local girl. 'So I answered that yes I heard about the missing girl' Scared the sh** out of my 10 year old" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjo3ssv?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Aubear11885</a></p>Got a Million of Em
<p>"What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fshhhh."</p><p>"I'm sorry but I'm about to say something tasteless. Water."</p><p>"I got fired from my job at the calendar factory. I took a day off."</p><p>"Unfortunately though, I can't really tell these jokes since I'm not a dad. I'm a faux pa."</p><p> -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjk9igl?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">WholeGrainMustard</a></p>G-Pa With the Physics HumorÂ
<p>"Why does the movie "speed" have no director?"</p><p>"If it had direction, it'd be called velocity!"</p><p>"-my grandpa, earlier today" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjk4wdo?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ConceptUpset4681</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"That's better than a regular dad joke. It's a grand dad joke." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjkuc30?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">VaultBoy9</a></p>A Surprising Amount of Elevator HumorÂ
<p>"I have a joke about elevators."</p><p>"It works on so many levels......." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjk1lrv?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">M0ntgomatron</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Did you hear about the corruption at the elevator company?"</p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"It went all the way to the top." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjkyjrp?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">RandomName222222222</a></p>Cleaning up is hard enough when it's just clearing a month of dust bunnies. Can you imagine cleaning the debris left by murder, suicide and violence? I have a really great friend who used to do crime scene clean-up for a living. The pay is incredible; it starts at $55 an hour. But there is a much higher cost in mental well being. Death affects you in ways you don't always feel immediately. My friend has stories of nightmares, depression and pain after leaving scenes of horror. Why make all that money just to spend it on therapy? It takes a certain type of person.
***TRIGGER WARNING. CONTENTS ARE SENSITIVE ***
Redditor u/MemegodDave wanted to hear from the people who have the stomach to come in after crime and tragedyto try to bring back some form of normalcy to the location by asking... People who make their living out of cleaning murder scenes, accidents and the like, what is the worst thing you have experienced in your career?
Wrapped Up
<p>Dad had to saran wrap a guy's intestines back into his body once.</p><p>Dude had surgery and pushed too hard on the toilet. Dude was fine, according to Dad, just holding himself together on the toilet while a group of firefighters tried to figure out why the hell they were sent instead of paramedics.</p><p><em>Update</em> When he pushed too hard he opened a scar on his torso/ab area and it all fell out onto his lap. Should have mentioned this when I wrote the post. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l48wk3/people_who_make_their_living_out_of_cleaning/gko9lq0?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">noblemile</a><span></span></p>Flesh
<p>One that stuck with me was a suicide in a bathtub, we couldn't drain the tub, so had to use a coagulant then scoop up the bloody mess into biohazard bags. Same for the toilet. Another was a suicide by gun in a basement full of boxes which was a nightmare to clean as even the smallest bit of flesh had to be found and cleaned up. The smell of the smallest piece of flesh meant the job wasn't done until it was found. </p>Walk Away
<p>Medic here, first responder to a motorcycle collision. Guy who crashed was a friend. He'd been torn in half and almost decapitated.</p><p>Had to walk away from the scene and let my driver and another crew handle it. Think about it daily. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l48wk3/people_who_make_their_living_out_of_cleaning/gko4y58?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Sabre-23</a><span></span></p>All over the House
<p>I posted this on another thread so just copy and pasted it but this was one that I had to do</p><p>Clean up after a murder. It was a rehab house for ex cons, 4 bedroom house with communal bathroom and kitchen. Sunday morning and guy A is in his room listening to music pretty loud, guy B is in the kitchen cooking his breakfast, B knocks on A's door and tells him to turn it down, there's a small argument and B returns to his breakfast and A turns his music up. So B grabs the biggest knife in the kitchen, kicks in A's door and stabs him through his left shoulder, entering by his collar bone. </p>"ride-alongs"Â
<p>Not a cleaner, but my brother's best friend is a police officer and I heard all about this horrible experience:</p><p>My brother's friend took him on "ride-alongs," all the time. One day, they were responding to a welfare check. This guy's neighbor saw his apartment door cracked open for several days and called the police. They went to check it out and found a college student (18-19) who had shot himself. </p>Melt Away
<p>When I was a bartender, a couple of clients told me the worst part about the job is cleaning melted bodies.</p><p>I don't know the science behind that, but from what I understand is if a body stays for a while in a certain condition of temperature and humidity, it melts. And those guys have to remove that person's remains in buckets. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l48wk3/people_who_make_their_living_out_of_cleaning/gknsqfm?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Kaynny</a><span></span></p>Audrey
<p>I had a great uncle who helped clean up the bodies left behind by hurricane Audrey in 1957 and he said that the smell persisted in his nose for weeks after. It got so bad that he went to the doctor to see if they could do anything and they clipped all of his nose hairs and the smell went away. It was explained to him that the smell had soaked into the hair but I don't claim to know the validity of that statement.</p>Hazard
<p>One of my first jobs after moving I did this, and the job that had me walking wasn't even a scene as described. We did all types of hazmat cleans and the worst was actually a couple went on vacation and came back to backed up sceptic. Think about 1 ft thick hard dried out crusty sceptic waste spread throughout the entire 1st floor of a house. Not going further into detail here. Was nasty.</p><p>Septic, not sceptic. On break and mobile, so yeah... </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l48wk3/people_who_make_their_living_out_of_cleaning/gknvzn8?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Kamenovski</a><span></span></p>After the Crash...
<p>Working for a tow truck driver that get the calls after crashes. The worst one for me was a family of 6 coming back with over 10 pizzas for a baseball team. It was a head on with a tractor trailer (18 wheeler). The ambulance took the bodies away of course, everyone died but one little guy. There was so much blood and vomit, diapers, toy dolls covered in blood, the pizza was everywhere inside of the car like 2" thick on everything and all over the road. </p>Fresh Meat
<p>Friend of mine does this.</p><p>His worst was an elderly woman who died in a bath. Skin falls off like long cooked meat. So he just saw piles of skin/flesh</p><p>God just writing this makes me gag. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l48wk3/people_who_make_their_living_out_of_cleaning/gknwqwu?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">PlagueDoc22</a><span></span></p>Image by freestocks-photos from Pixabay |
We all know the telltale signs that something is making us uncomfortable. Suddenly, we begin shaking, either in our hands or knees or toes. Then, usually, sweat starts pouring out of every part of our body, making it look like we just ran through a rainstorm underneath a waterfall. Finally, we lose our regular speech functions. Everything goes out of sync and our words don't match up to what's in our minds.
What's interesting is that what usually brings about these fits of uncomfortableness differs from person to person, as evidenced by the stories below.