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Sperm Donors Who've Been Contacted By Their Kids Years Later Share Their Experiences

Sperm Donors Who've Been Contacted By Their Kids Years Later Share Their Experiences
Image by StockSnap from Pixabay

Back in 2010, the film The Kids Are All Right made the rounds. It was a bit of a mixed bag, frankly––I had some issues with the storyline, but that would merit an entirely different article––but it was an intriguing watch nonetheless. The story of two children conceived by artificial insemination who bring their biological father into their lives by introducing him to both of their mothers leads to some explosive results. You'd have to see the film for yourself (that script, though) but it did make me pause and think about how successful a relationship between a sperm donor and the child they brought into the world would be. Is it scary? Anxiety-inducing? A relief?

After Redditor lulpwned asked the online community, "Men who sold or donated sperm and gave the permission for the child to contact you at 18: What's your story?" we got to hear and learn more about this experience. Kids––and fathers––shared their stories.


"What's even wilder about him..."

So, I'm not the dad, but a kid.

So my bio-dad donated sperm and gave permission to be identified. Didn't even have to be after 18. In counting (because we're not sure if we've found all of us yet) there are 53 half-siblings, all his kids. My full sister and I didn't know we were donor babies until I was a freshman in college, and her a junior in high school. It was a few more years before we found out the scope of our family. As such, I never got to meet the man as he passed away in 2018, but I've been getting to know my half-siblings and I'm sad to have missed him. He apparently engaged in annual reunions and was interested in getting to know all of the kids if they (and their families) were open to it. We all support each other basically by default even though we didn't grow up together.

What's even wilder about him is that he got national news coverage for something besides his giant flock of kids. The guy got married to a woman the day he met her as a competition to be his bride in the Mall of America. It was apparently a heartfelt story and the two of them had a 20 something year marriage with 4 kids that they raised themselves. The Mall of America even has a plaque with his name on it now, so you can go find him if you really try. The man was a weirdo but in the best way. He was kind and generous with his time and really seemed to care about *all* of his kids, or at least the ones he knew about.

SilverRock75

This is heartwarming!

Not to mention ideal.

"She got in touch with him right away..."

Oh hey, I can answer this! I'm not a donor, but I was donor-conceived, along with my sister (same donor). I had a great dad and never had any desire to find out who my donor was, but I was always curious about siblings, especially when I learned there's no legal limit on how many children you can father when you donate sperm in the US.

Well, one 23andMe test later, and the first result on the top of the list is a half-sister in Texas. We get in contact, realize we have a TON in common, and it sparked a fire in her to find more siblings. She took an Ancestry DNA test and the top of that list was a man in California, listed as father.

She got in touch with him right away, turns out he's a fantastic guy. He was adopted himself and also got in contact with his birth mom as an adult, so he had been on our side of the situation and was very open and willing to talk. His wife has been super supportive of us meeting too. He has three, uh, organically made kids of his own (I was especially ecstatic to learn that I'm a big sister), plus we've since found three more half-siblings who've all been very cool and excited to find each other. At this point, I've met all but one of them in person, and I got to meet my biological grandmother too.

racecarart

"I did call..."

I donated for six months in university. Twice a week. I gave consent to be contacted. That was close to 20 years ago now.

I did call and ask once, my sperm resulted in 24 successful pregnancies. That was all the office could tell me.

I have not done 23andme or anything like that.

ciroyder

Imagine the day he does!

Thanksgving will prove to be very interesting.

"At one point in my life..."

I'm a child born via sperm donation. At one point in my life, I did tons of research to find him- I also did Ancestry and found some half-siblings but no donor. But I thought about it more and looked over the records I did have (from the donor company). He was a college student at the time and asked not to be contacted. He probably has a family now who may or may not know about his past donation, and my gut feeling is that he did it for the money. So I've decided to let it go.

SunnySilver8

Is this common?

It's sort of sad, but incredible to read about.

"My dad had a kid..."

Somewhat related, but I've got a brother from another mother and have a happy story to share.

My dad had a kid with a lady in the eighties, she didn't want to keep it and he didn't want to be a single dad so he was put up for adoption and they split up and go about their days. There's likely a lot more to the story but I've only ever been told my dad's side, so I'll leave it at that.

Fast forward ~30 years, my dad has settled down and now has a family of 5 kids with my mom. He gets a call from a non-profit asking if he'd provide his information if his kid wants to reach out. He does and goes about his day.

Fast forward a few months he gets a call from his son, initially wanting to learn about possible health causes and curiosity. He ended up getting adopted by an amazing family and is doing very well for himself. He wants to come to town and meet my dad. Dad has five awkward conversations with his kids explaining we had another brother and he was coming up to visit. (Note, a running insult when we were growing up was calling each other adopted, which pissed dad off a lot lol)

Fast forward 2 weeks, there was graduation this weekend and we're having all the family over, so was a good time for him to come up, and meet the guy. Great person, hit it off, and still is close with all the brothers.

Everything worked out pretty good all things considered. He's a spitting image of dad and really great friend. His parents are amazing people as well. Really really lucky to have him in my life.

ImpossiblyGoodlooking

"I agreed..."

Kind of similar. I was approached by my longtime childhood friend and she asked if I would be a donor for her and her wife. I agreed, and they asked if I would be okay with being in their life, to take pictures and be around so the child knows who I am, knows I'm a friend, and also knows I'm the biological donor, etc., so there are no questions down the road. I agreed and it's been awesome so far. He just turned two and he's a tornado (I warned them), but he's loved more than most children will be. Coming from a background in psych I figured developmentally it would be easier to be labeled as a friend, and not an unknown, questions of turmoil of where did I come from, etc. I guess we'll see.

CliveBixby22

"Four separate offspring..."

I was a donor, and when this happened to me, it was ok. Four separate offspring at various times over the course of about six months contacted me, all just as they turned 18 and records were open to them. It was cool for me to see pictures of them and how much they looked like me. It was also good to hear the stories from their parents of how I helped them conceive a much-needed child, which I really appreciated. But that was all. A few nice, polite emails were exchanged, some kindnesses, and then we stopped emailing. I didn't want or expect more, I'm just glad to know they existed, and that they got to connect with their biological heritage. I supposedly (as far as the donor system estimates) have a lot more out there, but I expect these are the only ones that will contact me since I assume most of them will want to do it as soon as they can and all of my donations happened within an 18-month span.

SlapDashUser

"Why the hell not."

Mine may seem awkward.... my mum's friends are lesbians. 10 years ago all 3 came to me and asked if I would donate. Why the hell not. Lovely people and desperate to be parents. After the second 'turkey baster' insemination, they got pregnant. They have a beautiful little girl. I went on to have my own 2 daughters and they then came to me 2 years ago and asked again. This time, it was a bigger decision but my partner knew the full story and was more than happy to allow us to try a second time which was again successful! They had a boy this time.

We've spoken extensively and we all have no issue with them knowing I'm the donor. My kids will also know when the time comes. We agreed that we would run off the whole 'I have no input other than biological'. Obviously, we won't be able to stop the whole 'who's my father' but we have agreed that when the time does come, they will be sat down with my own 2 children as well and explained that the situation of I'm not a father to them and that it was purely to allow them to have children and that they aren't missing out by having 2 mums rather than a mum and dad.

It's hard to type out but I'm sure you guys will get it. Thankfully, they look nothing like my own children, which could be awkward considering we live in the same neighbourhood. Also, I have no attachment or need to be anything to these children. It may seem horrible to say but this was my gift to two amazing parents and they are doing fantastic, I don't need to be there for them!

TSRJimmie

Sperm donors have to undergo a fairly rigorous process.

Did you know that sperm banks often have age requirements, require potential donors to pass a physical exam and undergo genetic testing to see if they're carriers of any genetic conditions? Family history is examined, not to mention one's psychological history. It's no joke.

Potential sperm donors also have to ask themselves whether they're prepared for the possibility of being the biological father of a child or multiple children they might never meet. That makes these stories all the more fascinating!

Have some stories of your own? Feel free to share them in the comments section below!

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People Share The Weirdest Facts They Know

Reddit user Former_Ladder9969 asked: 'What is a weird fact you know for some reason?'

Man explaining weird theory
Photo by Usman Yousaf on Unsplash

We've all heard some things that sound too good to be true, but we've also certainly heard some things that were too weird to be true.

But as strange as they might sound, from weird scientific facts to things that people have done to animals that actually exist outside of a distant, mystical realm, there are some things that are simply, stranger than fiction.

Curious about others' takes, Redditor Former_Ladder9969 asked:

"What is a weird fact you know for some reason?"

The Draw of the Deck

"The King of Hearts is the only king without a mustache."

- MR_dizzaster

"He's also sticking a sword in his head."

- Uwumeshu

"He was shaving and missed."

- puneralissimo

Random Facts About Strangers

"Diddy, the music artist, doesn’t like the way towels feel on his skin. So instead of drying off like a normal person after a shower, he walks around his house to air dry instead."

"Why do I know this?"

"Because for some reason, this was a fact given during an old show on VH1 called 'Pop Up Videos,' where they would play a music video with random facts being shown throughout. I have zero idea why of all the vital things I should have stored in my memory, this was one that stuck after all these years."

- dabking24

Spacial Awareness

"Australia is wider than the moon."

- MrSatanachia

"I can't decide if I'm more amazed that the moon is actually way smaller than I imagined, or that Australia is way bigger than I imagined."

- 5Beans6

"This is my confusion, lol (laughing out loud)."

- TheTinyHandsofTRex

That's Commitment

"Crabs have a muscle that enables them to release their claw if they have to."

- Norwegianxrp

"It took me an incredibly long time to realize this means like… fully release it, like remove it from their body. I thought it just meant release the grip they have."

- wowowaoa

Mystical Representation

"The national animal of Scotland is a Unicorn."

- Batmans-dragon80

"Yes, that’s true. Mainly because we have so many of them roaming wild in the glens. Chasing the Haggi and avoiding Nessie."

- Bri1311

Education through Music

"Because of a song that used to constantly play on the radio I have it pretty well memorized that there are 86,400 seconds in the average day."

- Vanilla_Neko

"Because of a song on the radio, I learned that the minimum expectation for displays of love can be measured in 500 miles."

- Slight_Bodybuilder25

Where the Grass is Greener... and Newer

"There were no grasses on the earth when dinosaurs were here."

- Snowfl4ke85

"During the Jurassic and the Early Cretaceous, the higher flora was dominated by cycads, ginkgoes, conifers, and ferns. Other groups of plants included extinct seed plants with fern-like foliage. The exact origins of flowering plants are uncertain, although evidence suggests that they are not closely related to any group of modern non-flowering plants."

"Flowering plants underwent rapid radiation beginning around the middle of the Cretaceous period, and makeup around 90% of living plant species today. With the spread of these plants came the decline of previously dominant groups such as conifers. During the Cretaceous, ferns would also begin to diversify."

"The oldest known fossils of grasses are from the Early Cretaceous, with the family having diversified into modern groups by the end of the Cretaceous. The oldest large flowering trees are known from the Late Cretaceous, with the trunk having a preserved diameter of one-point-eight meters and an estimated height of 50 meters."

- UnexpectedDinoLesson

Weird Way to Say Hello

"Manatees control their buoyancy by farting. Toot toot, floaty sea cow."

- Plane-Vacation-1228

"Wait, so those bubbles you see on the water surface that signify their presence are...?"

- DismalDude77

Goals for Building the Longest Train...

"There's no maximum length to a train, you just add another engine."

- TrueGritt90

"That tracks."

- Snedro

The Smallest Philosopher

"That dead ants produce a pheromone that alerts the other ants that they need to move them to the ant graveyard."

"If a drop of this pheromone is placed on a live ant, it will take itself to the graveyard and stay there until the pheromone dissipates."

- Jessi_L_1324

"The ant: Am I dead?"

- Professional_Stay748

"That ant would make a great philosopher."

- skatalite2020

High-Risk Flights

"Some military helicopters on aircraft carriers are made of magnesium and should they catch fire, it's literally impossible to put them out as the magnesium will take the oxygen from the water and use that to keep burning."

"So the only thing that can be done is to push them overboard and even as they sink they will continue to burn until the magnesium is completely burned up."

- Strange_Stage1311

The First Scapegoat

"Some tribes of ancient people used to tie up a goat, whisper their sins to it, then allow it to 'accidentally' escape so it would carry their sins away and thus resolve them of guilt."

"It was, literally, their 'escape goat,' and that's where the term 'scapegoat' comes from."

- TheAbyssGazesAlso

The Power of Percentages

"Percentages can be reversed."

"For example, five percent of ten is ten percent of five."

- Routine_Leading_4757

"43 years and I'm only learning this now."

- TheMechTech80

Wordy Phobias

"The fear of long words is called 'hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia.'

- Illustrious_Hawk_734

"Also, the fear of palindromes is called 'aibohphobia,' which just goes to show that the people who name phobias are a**holes."

- PhoenixMason13

"The question is, who even has a fear of palindromes?"

- ConduckKing

"Eve, Bob, and Hannah."

- Lostarchitorture

Not only are these facts unexpected, but it's wild to think that some of them are true.

But the simple, plain truth is that the truth is always all that simple. It can be weird and hard to believe, and yet, there it is.

Person holding up magnet of Florida
Done By Alex/Unsplash

In all deference to the people of Florida, the Sunshine State is not known for being the ideal place to live.

Aside from being a major tourist destination and an escape from the cold weather months in other parts of the country, the retirement refuge is reputable as being problematic and the butt of a joke for a number of reasons.

But the real kicker is the frequency at which many Florida residents make headlines for unhinged behavior earning them the label of "Florida Man," prompting the rest of the U.S. to shake their heads and remark, "Only in Florida."

Curious to hear about other parts of the world that have a similar reputation, Redditor Ltimbombo asked:

"What is the 'Florida' of Europe?"

These are almost, but not quite, Florida.

The "Crazy Sh*t" Stereotype

"In what sense? Spain's Costa del Sol ticks the 'entitled retiree destination' box but the 'people inexplicably doing crazy sh*t' stereotype firmly belongs to Russia."

– epeeist

Deutscheland

"Adam Carolla used to have a segment on his radio show called 'Florida or Germany' where he would read newspaper articles of strange crimes and callers would guess if it took place in Florida or Germany. I thought it was entertaining."

– CurvySmokeShow

It's A Zoo Out There

"As a Florida Man who has found an Alligator in my backyard before (no joke, this is serious) I’d definitely have to say Russia."

– anon

"I’ve had 2 pythons show up in the yard of the house I grew up in, years before it was widely known how invasive they were."

"Never got a gator though."

– Sss00099

Talking Geography

"In that the Ural mountains are the technical dividing line between Europe and Asia, I'll have to go with Western Russia. In particular, you could overlay Florida on top of the part of Russia that spans from Voronezh to Saratov and then down to Volgograd."

– themistergraves

Gotta love some o' the Brits.

Im-Posh-ters

"When I was in Barcelona this past June I had the opportunity to witness a young, trashy British couple act as though they were posh. It was then that I realized that the British are the Floridians of Europe."

– mattswa

"Ohhh trashy Brits are on another level, you have to see it to believe it lol."

– YetiPie

Defined By TV Shows

"I was in Dublin last summer, met some Brits from Leeds and they literally asked the Irish guy I was hanging out with if they had the same queen. Then when it came up I was american one of the women shrieked and said 'Young Sheldon’s me favorite tv show' and Jesus Christ I couldn’t help but laugh"

– BureaucraticHotboi

Admittedly Floridian

"Florida is kinda stupid for stupid’s sake. Here in the UK we tell ourselves we are civilised, refined, smart and in control while still doing equally stupid stuff."

– npri0r

Making Up For Size

"Blackpool, England. Admittedly it's on a smaller scale but what it lacks in size, it makes it up in STD rates, welfare distribution and average tooth count."

– DavosLostFingers

"Fun fact! Blackpool is the only city in the uk with the same average lifespan as the US!"

– TinyChairty4151

Feels Like Home

"I went on holiday to Britain, driving the whole island. Some seagulls nicked my chips and my pastie in Blackpool while some guy vomited into a trash can next to me. Same exact thing happened to me in Miami (swap the pastie for a taco). So ya this checks out."

– sothatsathingnow

Meanwhile, over in the Mediterranean...

Cretins

"It’s probably Greece and specifically Crete. People like to go there for vacation, it’s hot and all the people own guns and are conservative religious madlads."

– SpaceAgeIsLate

Italiano

"Italy, it's hot, full of tourist, and has a history of going facist."

– weedtrek

"And it's the wang of Europe."

– swash_mcbuckle

Looks like every Floridians are not alone in their tainted reputation thanks to the number of people who had to ruin everything.

But one thing seems certain.

It's doesn't seem to be about what's in the water Floridians drink.

There are several things in this life we know to be rare, resulting in millions of people seeking them out, or taking the opportunity to enjoy them.

These include seeing a solar or lunar eclipse, vintage bottles of wine, the first issue of a comic book, or being upgraded to first class without warning.

Sometimes, however, we take for granted certain things we just assume are part of daily life which are, in fact, quite rare.

Be it an uninterrupted night's sleep, a life-threatening illness, or a old recording on our DVR (or, for that matter a VHS!), some things we think can be enjoyed or could happen to anyone might be much harder to come by than we think.

Redditor f*ckandfrolic was curious to learn all about the seemingly everyday things that are, in fact, anything but common, leading them to ask:

"What is far more rare than people realize?"

Or, Perhaps, The Vaccines Are What Made It Rare?

"Tetanus."

"We get vaccines for it, but it's actually a bit harder to get than you may believe."- pheat0n

Meow

"Solid brown fur cats, apparently it’s some kind of recessive gene in them."- TheJadedSF

"We have a male tortoiseshell cat."

"Cat people tend to know they’re quite rare but others probably don’t."- Tacoma__Crow

In Love Cat GIFGiphy

You Never Know Who Your Friends Really Are...

"People who remain friends with you once you leave school."- GrockleKaug

"Good, honest friends who don’t have ulterior motives."

"The ones that genuinely enjoy your company and friendship."

"Hold onto them!"- ZealousidealWealth88

Think Carefully About The Last Time You Saw One...

"Blimps."

"I live in northeast Ohio near the Goodyear hangar."

"We see them all the time."

"I had to pull up a list, that northeast Ohio has 3 out of 4 operating Goodyear blimps named Wingfoot 1 2 and 3."

"Only maybe 12 are operating anywhere in the world, with a total of 25 existing at all."

"But we see them all the time at Wingfoot lake disc golf course."- Worried_Place_917·

good year zeppelin GIF by DiggGiphy

Making Others Green With Envy?

"Green eyes make up just two percent of the global population."- New-Tomorrow-4309

Not A Routine Occurrence

"Northern lights."

"The amount of people I’ve heard say: 'We’ve come all this way, what time do they come on?' Is staggering."- The_Town_of_Canada

Amen!

"Bit of peace and f*cking quiet."- Winoforevr1

Taking A Long, Hard Look At Ourselves...

"Humility and an understanding that we’re sometimes the victim and sometimes the perpetrator."

"No one is ever just one or the other."- Fitandfriendlydude

Money Talks

"Being a multi-millionaire."

"Lots of people faking it out here."- tab_completion

Some Might Say Thinking In General...

"Critical thinking skills."- hstarbird11

Thinking Think GIF by Rodney DangerfieldGiphy

Sobering Reality

"Clean water."

'My son and I have been discussing this lately."

"He is a chemical engineer and works exclusively with water."

"Many of the studies he has been published on also have to do with clean water and forever chemicals."

"Water is a huge issue that is becoming bigger everyday and normal people are forgetting about it."

"Flint Michigan is in year 9!"- No-Fishing5325

Rare, Or A Myth?

"A stable, loving, peaceful domestic life."- reginapinsley

In Dreams, Maybe...

"Absolute silence and being in a place where no man-made light exists."- whiskey_formymen

black and white dark GIFGiphy

Perhaps we can all rest a little easier knowing that some things that keep us up at night worrying are actually not a big deal in the slightest.

Or, next time we see and experience something truly beautiful, we might want to stop and truly take it in.

For all we know, we just experienced something that was truly once in a lifetime.


Two young boys are having a pillow fight
Photo by Allen Taylor

Parents are meant to teach offspring how to survive in this world.

They're meant to guide us on how to be a good member of society.

But either some parents fail, or too many adults don't get the message.

And all that can lead to a mighty dysfunctional adult.

Redditor spirallinggg wanted to hear about the ways we can decipher if others have bad parenting, so they asked:

"What immediately tells you that a person wasn't raised right?"

Basic human decency is a sign of a good upbringing.

Garbage

"They throw trash out a car window."

shershae

"I live on a busy road and I’m so sick of people throwing their trash in front of my house. Some guy tosses out a tall boy beer nearly every workday. I can’t wait to move. Also- so many cigarette butts! We live in a high fire hazard area so I’m worried one of these days they’ll start a fire. I try to go pick up litter twice a month."

Pinkmongoose

Random Aisles

"People who dump refrigerated grocery products on random aisles."

glockops

"I work in a grocery store. The best one I saw was someone who ordered a hot pizza from our pizza station, which is made-to-order. Then abandoned it in the cooler with the refrigerated take-and-bake pizzas we have."

"I get finding stuff from our service case abandoned, it's already cold and our prices are much higher than some people think (the last abandoned item I found was a $20 container of our fresh fruit salad [which comes in pre-cut]), but the pizza station has set menu prices, they should have known what they were getting into before they ordered."

weedtrek

Be Responsible

"Lack of personal accountability. they can never admit wrongdoing on their part. it's always someone else's fault."

Sona-kin

I always told my kids that a mistake doesn't define who you are... but what you do AFTER the mistake DOES. We're human. We're gonna screw up throughout our lives. It's unavoidable. What we can control, however, is choosing to apologize, fix the situation, make amends, etc."

nakedwithoutmyhoodie

Rude

Mean Girls Gossip GIF by Paramount MoviesGiphy

"When they talk badly about someone who hasn’t done anything wrong behind their back."

flowerzforthedead

THIS. I've seen coworkers talking behind the backs of new employees and drawing conclusions about every aspect of their lives. Like, you've seen that person for three days, you MF.

Cold-Load-4388

If you can't say it to their face, then don't say it.

Why do people have to crap talk?

Check Please

Escalate Customer Service GIF by FILMRISEGiphy

"Being super rude to people in any service profession. There is a time and place for actual, appropriate complaints but I see people constantly abuse service staff for no damn reason. Hell, even using 'please' and 'thank you' seems beyond some people. Bums me out."

CaptainLawyerDude

Others

"Lack of consideration for others."

NewVAinvestor1

"A lot of people do not fundamentally understand other people exist. They understand things exist. They understand those things should be referred to as people. But they do not understand those things have an entire existence and experience all their own exactly like them."

Sh3lls

No!

"When they can't take no for an answer."

NerdyPlaneResident

"I'm going to step up and admit to being guilty of this. For the longest time, I had it in my head that persistence pays off. Some of that was pop culture, some of that was tenacity in other areas of my life being rewarded, and then applying that to interpersonal relationships. Older and wiser me, though is more along the lines of learning to let go. It's still a struggle though, working against that original conditioning."

SergeantPsycho

Professions

"When someone looks down at others based on what they do. That just clearly shows that they've learned the same thing from their caregivers."

Leekayleigh_

"Oh yes. My husband took on a second job doing pizza deliveries. A few people laughed at him doing that at his age. They don't laugh when he explains his main job is simple and, deliveries are just driving blasting tunes and adds $900 a month after tax to our income. Then they see all the travel. Usually shuts them up."

CurvePuzzleheaded361

Offensive

For Real Wow GIF by DeStormGiphy

"Zero manners."'

Fuzzteam7

"I took a guy to a family beach condo because he says he never goes to the beach. Let him tag along with our group. Never said thank you one time. I dropped him back off at his house, and I said can you at least say thanks, he was so offended I asked or was trying to force a thank you."

berrey7

"BUT"

"When someone apologizes, and then adds a but onto it. For example, my boss held a meeting among the kitchen staff where he apologized for his attitude, and then added 'But you guys need to understand that I'm a no-bulls**t kind of person.' No sir, that's not how apologies work."

GimmickInfringement1

I hate a BUT.

Either you mean what you offer or don't say it.