Communication isn't always easy. Sometimes, you say something you didn't mean to say, whether it's because a joke you made fell flat, or someone overheard something they weren't supposed to hear. And some people are just plain careless.
However, mean comments they make can be explained away and are usually followed by an apology.
Of course, some people are just plain nasty and want to deliver an insult that will shake you to your very core. The things people say to you can be mean, hurtful, and sometimes even soul-crushing.
Redditor Embarrassed-Host-949 was curious about the most soul-crushing thing Reddit users have ever heard someone say, and asked:
"What was the most soul crushing thing someone told you or you heard?"
One Daughter Over Another
"My dad and step mom adopted a baby girl, and my step sister overheard my dad talking about how excited he is to adopt a girl because he’s never had a daughter"
"Absolutely crushed my step sister, she thought of my dad like her own father. He’s been all she’s known."
"My husband and I took our teenage son and his friend (I’ll call him Alex) to an amusement park recently."
"My husband is a really funny guy and was making both boys laugh on the car ride home."
"Alex told my husband, “You’re really funny, Mr. D! You remind me of my Dad, except your jokes aren’t hurtful.”"
""My family just gave up on me.""
"-A 10-year-old that just got the news they had been unadopted by their family of the last 5 years."
""How can she be my wife? I have no idea who she is. " said my husband of 8 years after a bad car wreck and 4 weeks in a coma. He lost about 12 years of memories. Including our whole relationship. We got divorced 2 years after as his memory never returned."
Maybe This Mother Shouldn't Have Been A Mother
"My mum once told me “You wouldn’t be a very good mother, your sister would be much better”. I always loved and worked with children, my sister is more of an animal person. It crushed me because I always dreamed of being a mother and I still think about that comment made years ago when my boyfriend brings up the children topic."
All Work And No Play
"I saw a documentary.... I don't even recall what it was about, but they were focusing on this family in a rural part of eastern Europe or southern Asia. There was a little girl in this family and all she did was work. She couldn't go to school, and she just assisted her mother in doing all the necessary drudgery around the house."
"One of the film makers asked the girl what her secret dream was."
"She said, "To play.""
The Wrong Response To A Loss
"My (now ex) wife and I had just lost our unborn daughter at 22 weeks and my (now ex) best-friend offered her thoughts: “You wouldn’t want a baby that obviously had issues to begin with. God doesn’t make mistakes.”"
"I’ll leave it at that."
"When my grandpa told me I wasn’t good enough. I was always never a girly girl but not quite a tomboy. I was really close to him but he was old school. As I grew up he started to realize that I wasn’t changing in the right way. He kept telling me to use my lady voice, to sit ladylike, eat lady like, and do ladylike things. He had enough when he saw me with my animals being not gentle when they were stubborn and getting dirty and liking it. He got mad and yelled at me after when no one was around. It hurt because always thought he would love me no matter what then I found out that there were conditions to his love."
Love All Your Kids Equally
""Mom and Dad have been telling people they only have two kids" from my sister. They have three kids. All because I didn't go to the religious college they wanted me to go to"
"My dad is a pastor and he's always treated me differently. He used to say from the pulpit while preaching, "I have 2 kids I'm proud of...""
"He has 3 children, but he wasn't lying."
Shattered At Prom
"Pretty tame here, but I had been invited to two proms for my senior year. I went dressed in the same outfit for both of them because I didn’t have a lot of time to prepare. I went with my girlfriend to both of them and spent the better half of an hour putting makeup on (which is insane because I’ve never had the confidence to do so) and getting all nice for her because I couldn’t believe she was mine. I’ve been bullied my whole life and due to that I lack confidence and self esteem but those two nights I genuinely (and finally) felt pretty and good in my own skin. Fast forward a couple weeks and she tells me that my makeup was ugly and she should’ve done it for me. She said the colors and style was ugly and a bad choice overall."
"I broke. I cried for days and it still makes my eyes sting just thinking about it. I played it off though and told her it just looked weird because I can only use certain products since I have really sensitive skin. It may sound dramatic, but I honestly don’t ever think I’ll be able to fully recover from that and I always worry she’ll call me ugly again whenever she looks at me. She’s very sweet and kind, but it made my chest implode when she confessed that to me."
Pretty Sure SHE Was At Fault!
"That my ex was letting a guy put hickeys on her thighs a month before our anniversary,then she had the audacity to break up with ME because I was upset about it!"
The Drink Shouldn't Be An Excuse
"i’m late but my mom came into my room really drunk at 2am when i was 15, and started crying and saying how she feels she failed as a mother when she looks at me, and that i’m a horrible sister to my siblings. i just stared at her, im used to her saying this type of stuff when she’s drunk, but hearing that really crushed me for some reason."
"I liked (and still like) this girl that I am in high school with (let’s call her Amy). I have multiple classes with her and we hang out a bit. Mainly through badminton practice. I was developing a crush on her, I loved her voice, she’s smart, athletic, amazing personality. Then I saw her face and it was the icing on the cake. I naturally told some friends about this girl that I had a crush on. And them being high school friends, they told her. I was given a chuckle followed by a flat out no."
"We are just friends now, and I am highly convinced that is all it will ever be."
Teacher's Pet...Or Not
""I don't like you so stop trying to suck up to me" for context the person who said this was my 3rd grade teacher, I had a very bubbly personality back then and he clearly didn't like that, or me for that matter.it completely crushed my ego and never got to fully recover from everything he put me through. I was only 3rd Grade."
The Loss Will Never Be Okay
"I came home from training to find one of my friends had gone missing. I spent hours over my home hoping news would come in about them. Eventually I decided to go for a shower to distract myself slightly. As I was getting out I had 3 missed calls from my best friend. "He's just been found dead.""
Life Is Too Short
"For me it was the vet saying "There's nothing else to do". My beloved dog had suffered with epilepsy the last 4 years, and despite all the medicin and operations, she still lost the battle. Broke me down completely."
What Is The Truth?
"I remember when I was really young, probably about 7, I overheard my mom on the phone with my aunt. They were talking about money and how having a family got expensive really quickly. My mom then told my aunt that if she had the money, she would’ve divorced my dad years ago."
"My parents were fairly good parents, they never really seemed to have any serious fights, they never really argued and they appeared to love each other."
"It’s been years since then and whenever I see my parents (who are still married) I always find myself dissecting their behaviours and trying to see something I might have missed as a kid. I just wonder if it was something my mom meant of if it was just some weird way of reassuring my aunt (who is now split from her husband)."
This Breaks My Heart
"Someone told me once that any bad thing you can possibly imagine someone doing to an animal, is being done somewhere in the world."
"Broke my fucking spirit right then and there."
"Hate this species."
Not A True Friend
"When I was ten years old, one of my friends at School, told me If I died he wouldn't go to my funeral. That still hurts 20 years later."
People can be cruel, and sometimes you will have to hear the worst of insults. The important thing is how you react.
Remember that few people are evil enough to bluntly say the negative thoughts that roam around in their head, and people who are that cruel don't deserve the time of day.
The key to any successful relationship is communication.
The ability to be open and receptive to what a significant other has to say, as well as the ability to be able to convey something weighing on one's mind, can be healing.
But depending on the circumstance, some things are better left unsaid.
Curious to hear examples of what those might be, Redditor FamiliarFarmer8356 asked:
"What's something you wish you could tell your partner without upsetting them?"
If there is conflict, there is a way to discuss and address the issue in a civil and respectful manner.
Things Just Happen
"Every bad thing that happens doesn't require someone to be blamed for it. And that someone doesn't always have to be me."
A Cornerstone Of A Successful Union
"One of the cornerstones of a good marriage, is knowing how to argue. I’d actually say that before a couple get married, they should check how their potential partner behaves in an argument. What are they like when they get angry. It’s important because no two individuals are going to agree all the time. And on those occasions, it’s important to remember not to belittle the other. Deal with the issue at hand. And especially, don’t argue in front of the kids. You have no idea how much lasting damage this causes."
"All married couples should learn the art of battle as they should learn the art of making love. Good battle is objective and honest - never vicious or cruel. Good battle is healthy and constructive, and brings to a marriage the principles of equal partnership."
It's Not That Deep
"please stop complaining about everything."
"If you keep seeking out reasons to be miserable, you will find them."
"I'm tired of being dragged down with you."
There's no need to get defensive when there's something to discuss.
It's Not About You
"That some days I’m just tired from class and work and just want some me time, it’s not that I hate you my social battery is just running out."
"Her first reaction to something adverse doesn't have to be anger."
In The Words Of A Pirate
"In the wise words of captain Jack Sparrow sometimes:"
'the problem is not the problem, the problem is your attitude toward the problem.'
It Takes Two To Tango
"That I wish she’d be more independent so she didn’t need my help for everything outside the house."
"That it’s a little disturbing how aggressively he drives when he’s grumpy… heavy on both gas and brakes, zooming in and out of traffic, swearing at people who make mistakes… very unlike him."
Sometimes the truth hurts when talking about members of the family.
A Real Assessment
"That her mother is not a good person."
"I told my husband that it's not that his family is nosy and overbearing, it's that I hate watching him cave and negotiate as if they have a right to behave like this, and I really hate when I'm the bad guy for wanting reasonable limits."
"It got worse, then it got better, FYI."
"His parents are greedy, selfish people and treat him like an atm."
There's definitely a fine line between withholding your thoughts to protect the person you love and being brutally honest.
If coming clean isn't going to resolve an issue, then it might be better to suck it up and deal with whatever frustrations you have about the other person.
It's up to you, but make sure the delivery doesn't come from a place of rage if you do decided to be totally transparent about your negative thoughts.
Every family has a black sheep or every family in its entirety are black sheep.
What is a "black sheep" anyway?
It used to mean a person who brought shame or embarrassment to a family, but it's more often used now to mean the member who is just very different from everyone else—sometimes in a good way.
Redditor Frozen_yoghurt123 asked:
"Who is the 'black sheep' of your family?"
I'm the black sheep or at least I'd like to think so.
"Probably my dad's cousin, who went to prison for murdering his lover's husband."
DW_555Oh My Wow GIFGiphy
"My Dad. He is the only one of 6 siblings who wasn't a huge f**k up. And yet, before my Grandma died she stated that he was her 'biggest disappointment.' He is estranged from his surviving siblings... not by his choice. It honestly blows my mind."
"Toxicity is often a group mindset thing; people don't want you to leave because they are dysfunctionally co-dependent on each other and need each other to justify their own shortcomings in life. A lot of the 'family loyalty' stuff is typically shouted loudest by those who are the least good idea to stay loyal towards."
"My great uncle who stole my great grandfathers identity, stole a couple million dollars, and ran off. No one even knew he was alive until my great grandfathers funeral in 2009. No one has seen him since. My grandma started to cry because she honestly thought he was dead."
"Everyone else just kind of nodded on his direction and went on with the rest of the funeral. I just remember being very confused because I was 9 and I had never met this guy who my dad pulled me aside and told me he was my great uncle. It was a few years later that I got the full story."
"According to my mean aunt, the 'matriarch' in her own mind, it's my twin brother because "he doesn't care about family now that he's a doctor." (He's a resident. Chief resident. He works ridiculous hours and spends the rest of the time recovering from work.)"
"According to my ex-MIL (who still counts because she's Son's grandma), it's me, for divorcing her son."
"According to everyone else, it's Mean Aunt. The rest of us are warm and caring and compassionate. We have our moments; all of us have been accidentally thoughtless or done something selfish once in a while, but we're not deliberately mean and snarky all the time."
"My immediate family are the black sheep of the entire family."
DarthDreganJohn Stamos Cheers GIF by GrandfatheredGiphy
Sounds like everyone has a little black sheep in them.
"By now, my brother for cutting off everyone because he prefers his rude, selfish, paranoid, narcissist wife over all of us."
"My wife is the black sheep of her family in the sense that she's the only one who isn't a rude, selfish, paranoid narcissist."
Lvcivs2311Joe Dirt Brother GIFGiphy
"Me. My granddaddy told me 'I’ve only had the sheriff knock on my door two times in my 80 years, and both times he was looking for you! 'I did some dumb sh*t, caused a little trouble, burned a few bridges but always managed to stay out of jail. Partly because my sister has kept an attorney on retainer for me since I was 16."
"My younger brother (2nd of 4) is a compulsive liar and it got him in a lot of little trouble as a teen, then he told his wife he graduated a big college when we're not even sure if he got his GED because he failed to graduate HS, went to some GED school and eventually just stopped going."
"IF he graduated college, he never mentioned he was going in the 4+ years it takes nor mention graduation or have a diploma. He's not a bad dude, but now family time is super awkward when he and his wife are talking about 'their' college team."
The NOT good girl...
"My aunt's daughter. She’s been in jail for drugs, stolen money from my aunt and other family members to use on drugs and physically abused my aunt. My aunt has tried getting her help, but nothing has worked. She’s just not a good person, and everyone in my family, except my aunt, doesn’t want anything to do with her. I haven’t seen her in 8 years now, and I’m happy about that."
"A former nun - my great aunt - left the religious life and got married. She called herself 'the black sheep of the family' because her habit was black."
Back2BachExcited Julie Andrews GIF by The Rodgers & Hammerstein OrganizationGiphy
Well the black sheep sound like the most interesting family members.
Sex is great, but there are more ways than one to accomplish that euphoric feeling without sex.
There are so many small, ordinary aspects of life that can just send a person and we come across them daily.
A good steak.
A home repair.
The things that make you say...
"I tingle all over."
Redditor OldAboba asked:
"What is the best non-sexual physical feeling you’ve ever felt?"
Adele. Adele live. She sends me.
FloatingRelaxed Exit Strategy GIF by Hannah Bronfman Giphy
"I got a professional full body (everything but my man parts) massage a few years back for the first and so far only time at a spa after the recommendation from a coworker. I felt like I was floating on a cloud for the next few days."
Through your nose...
"Sneezing when you're sick. Then you get that about 20 second feeling of breathing through your nose again and you like ahh that's what I aspire to at the moment."
"Or the very last sneeze of your illness. During a fire drill in high school, I was ambling out after fighting a head old for a few days. The alarm was killing my head which was already throbbing from the sinus pressure."
"I was nearing the field, well away from my classmates, when I cough/sneezed out a huge, green loogie - cleared it about three feet, no icky trail - and by the time I was walking back to the building I was feeling pretty much back to normal. No more head cold after that. Never had something like that ever happen again where there was such an abrupt end to the head cold."
"Right after a migraine goes away. It's almost a spiritual experience."
"This was going to be my answer. I was in the ER one time for a really bad migraine. They gave me what they called a 'migraine cocktail.' When they pushed it through the IV I could feel the cold liquid make its way through my body, up to my head. Once it hit my brain, the migraine was gone. It was pure ecstasy. Even better was that cocktail had Benadryl in it so I fell asleep not long after and slept so good."
"That stretch til you shake when you wake up."
"I once stretched too hard in the morning and got the worst calf cramp ever... it looked like a prune and I thought I would die from the pain. Couldn't stretch in bed for months afterwards out of fear it would happen again."
"When you move over 50, it turns into that stretch til you put your back into a muscle spasm that lasts days."
The ItchScratching Feel Good GIF by 60 Second DocsGiphy
"I had a cast and splint on both my legs for 2 months. When they cut it off, they scratched my legs for me and the itch was just top notch! Yeah."
Itching an itch can change a life.
YUM!Emma Stone High Quality GIFGiphy
"When you're starving all day and devour a bomb a** meal."
Sleep for Life
"When you’ve been up for 20 hours+ and finally get into bed and you just know it’ll be the best sleep of your life."
"But man, after 36+ hours, the body sort of aches and it's hard to fall asleep despite being completely exhausted. Then the restless legs kick in... ugh. I do agree that a 20hr-ish stint is amazing to cuddle into, especially if you don't have to get up at any specific time the next day."
"Makes it better when you’ve been sleep deprived for weeks and know you have NO PLANS tomorrow and can sleep as much as you need."
"When you're absolutely busting for a pee and you can finally go!"
"Apparently there’s a thing called a 'pee-gasm' that people (usually women) have that causes an orgasmic feeling when you pee after holding it for a while! I’ve definitely experienced this and I’ve intentionally waited a while so I could have that good feeling... lol."
I Can Hear!!
"The feeling of water leaving your ear after being there all day."
"I had some impacted earwax for a week in one ear, and when it finally got removed it was the best feeling in the world. Initially it was like having a tv or radio in my ear that only had static, but then I could hear. Good god, I could hear. It was amazing."
"Oh man, and it’s WARM from being in your head, and the warmth makes the sensation of leaving even better."
A Good Restdog puppy GIFGiphy
"Sleeping in a warm blanket in winters."
"Or sleeping in a cold blanket in summer."
I am enthralled by all of those things.
People need to stop throwing out unwanted advice.
And when it is requested, think before you speak.
People with mental disorders don't need everyone telling them they have a fix like "exercise" or "herbal supplements."
Redditor Gold-Ad-2827 asked:
"People with mental disorders: What do you hate being told the most?"
I hated being told to just smile. You smile and go away.
Duhseth meyers GIF by Late Night with Seth MeyersGiphy
"It's all in your head. Where else would it?! My colon?"
"Everybody goes through that."
"This saying makes my blood boil. Or the 'I was that age once too ya know' yeah no sh*t you were that age once. And just because you were that age once doesn’t mean we have the same experience."
"They try to minimize it."
"You're worried? Just stop."
"You're sad? Just don't be."
"You're compulsively binge eating? Eat less."
"Thanks for that stellar advice."
"Or even better, 'Just do it!' As if ADHD paralysis can be stopped with a can-do attitude."
"I get so frustrated when people treat the idea of 'holistic medicine' as some kind of woo. How does it escape so many people that the body works holistically? Even a lot of doctors seem to ignore this. It's very frustrating when you have 2 or 3 or 4 illnesses that are all affecting each other, and your 'physical health' is held distinct from your mental health, and nothing anyone is doing to treat you works because no one's looking at the whole system."
"I just got a lecture from a psychiatrist I am seeing about nutrition, and he apologized to me for doing so but I told him, 'No, I appreciate it. Do it for all your patients.' because it told me he's trying to look at the whole picture and actually fix what's wrong. It gave me faith in him."
RelaxCalm Down Golden Girls GIF by TV LandGiphy
"You need to calm down."
"Never is the history of calm down has calm down ever caused anyone to calm down."
Calm down. I hate that one. You calm down.
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"When they try to give me tips on what to do, like bruh as if I didn't already try that."
"You don't look sad. No crap... that's so I can avoid having this conversation. Also depression isn't 'being sad' like people think."
"God, I hate this. It's because saying 'I'm depressed' has been standard for people expressing that they're slightly unhappy about something dumb like not getting enough croutons on their salad or some crap. Now that's just what everyone assumes you mean when you say you have depression."
"'Stop being lazy.'"
“'Lazy' is when you don’t want to do anything at all. 'Executive disfunction' is when you can do everything at all, but that one easy quick thing that you do want to do just makes you and your brain freeze completely days ahead. I’m tired of people not understand that even when I explain and look at me like I’m bullshitting instead."
Ways to Cope
"Maybe you should try praying harder. I did, He prescribed medication."
"Praying is a way to cope for a lot of people, I think. That's totally fine, but insisting on praying in lieu of getting real help or actually addressing the issue is when it is not only unhelpful, but dangerously detrimental."
"Religious people will bypass everyone’s cultures, identity, views, and feelings just to be right and make a point. it’s disgusting. I read somewhere that real so called Christianity is all wrong. The real faith is from the Aramaic history and all the meanings were misinterpreted and the stories and all were made up by Catholics wanting to control their people. Yuck."
'contamination'Disgusted Season 6 GIF by Brooklyn Nine-NineGiphy
"As someone with OCD with a lot of attention to 'contamination', having someone try to explain contradictions in why I'm doing something that is technically unclean when I wouldn't do something that is technically clean due to OCD. There are a few doorknobs that I will not touch no matter how much you clean them in front of me and I know it makes no sense, if it made sense I wouldn't have OCD i'd just be cleanly."
Stop trying to be an armchair therapist. Be empathetic to people first.