Generation gaps can create some glaring differences especially when dealing with the equality of all humans. The old ways of treating people of color are no longer accepted by the majority of people, however some people in older generations still do not make it a priority to make all people feel welcome and valued.
This situation could not be more real for Redditor u/statuethrow who says My [28M] relationship with Mom [60F] and Step-Dad [~60M] is straining because of a controversial lawn ornament.
Here's how it played out:
My mom and stepdad last year moved into a new house that came with a lawn ornament depicting a cartoonishly caricatured black boy dressed in a jockey uniform. I did some research, and it turns out that it was a Jocko style Lawn Jockey. Apparently these were popular back in the day with people that wanted to evoke that old Southern style of welcome that includes casual racial prejudice. The more I learned about these things, the more uncomfortable it made me. It can't just sit there in the yard. They would have to store it, paint it, get rid of it...something. Anything less I feel would be an endorsement of what this statue represents. We are all white, and I don't want to get into a situation where I bring friends over, they see it and get the wrong impression about my folks. I told my mom my feelings about it, and she indicated that her and my stepdad were aware and were talking about what to do about it.
The next time I visited them, they moved it off to the side yard, and this time it was in the same spot and they had put a garbage bag over it. I mean, it's good that they covered it, but I don't understand why they still have it, and it's been a year. I don't think either one of them are racist or anything, I just see the history of this object and it's relationship to racism and it disgusts me. Neither one of them seem to share my disgust, which is frustrating. My gut tells me that I'm in the right, but at the same time this is driving a wedge between me and my step-dad, and my mom feels caught in the middle between us.
Mom and I just had a tearful conversation about this. She's worried that I'm judging them negatively for this, which definitely isn't the case for her. (My feelings about him are up in the air right now.) She seems to agree that this thing is more trouble than it's worth. I offered to take the statue and dispose of it, but she said no and that it was up to my step dad. He seems to have taken an opposing stance on this and doesn't see much reason to get rid of it. Apparently he did his own online research and concluded that it wasn't a racist object, and that I'm wrong and I need to let this go. He says the statue has historical value and he shouldn't be made to feel like a racist for displaying it. I'm aware of the content he's basing his claims on, and will try to show him how they lack a basis in fact. Mom has told me though that he did agree to get rid of it, but I don't know how much I believe him.
I'm now at the point where I don't know if I'm making too much of a big deal about this. My folks and I are on opposite ends of the political spectrum, but that hasn't really been an issue until now. My next step I just want to be able to visit my folks and not have to worry about this s***. Am I right for pushing them towards action on this, or am I making a mountain out of a molehill?
tldr: parents inherited a statue of a caricatured black youth. I detest it and want it gone, stepdad thinks it's fine. How to proceed?
Update: Thanks for the feedback, everyone. Just to clear up a few things, I don't think I could persuade them by saying that the neighbors are judging them, they live in a very red area, there was a guy who wore a MAGA hat on the beach with his family the other day and no one seemed to care.
Also, I should have been more specific regarding what I meant regarding the tearful conversation with my mom. I had meant that we both were crying. There wasn't manipulation there. She was genuinely worried that I was thinking about cutting her out of my life, and I was upset about this whole thing. I'm generally averse to conflict and it takes a lot for me to make a stand about something, especially when it leads to this kind of friction.
I feel empowered by your words, and I know that I can't just let this go. I'll be as respectful as I can, but my feelings about the statue haven't changed and I'm not going to really feel comfortable there until they do something about it.
What are your thoughts?
Play dirty in the name of justice and equality
GiphyI wrote out a lot of analysis, but then decided it was pretentious and deleted it.
- It's not your property, so ultimately, legally, you can't do anything.
- You've made your case. They doubled down. Logic wouldn't appear to work.
My advice to you would be that for every gift-giving occasion, be it birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas, Labor Day, whatever... I would send them a card, and include the receipt for the donation you made in their name to the NAACP, the United Negro College Fund, or the local black historical/heritage society... you know, since history is so important to him.
You're not going to wear them down, so go with the semi-regular notification that he's being an ahole, and maybe the thank you letters from the assorted charities will eventually make him feel like enough of a doofus to take an appropriate action on his own.
2xth
You can't teach an old dog not to be an a**
GiphyYeah, he's a big ole racist. No way he actually googled "lawn jockey"and came away with the idea that its not racist.
Create some distance
GiphyOP, I'm with you on this one. The statue is horribly racist, and cringe-worthy. I'd go as far as to not visit your mom & step-dad at their home, and only see them away from the house.
It's a two way street
GiphyLol @ the pearl clutching over your mom crying about feeling "judged" for participating in racist s***. Honestly, f*** manipulative tears. You get to decide what's more important to you: your relationship with your mother or your principles regarding race. I know what choice I would make. And remember that torching a relationship goes both ways. So your parents also have a choice: their f******* son or their beloved racist lawn ornament.
Ask the right questions
GiphyAsk them how the statue makes their lives better. Seriously.
Ask them why they feel the need to keep it, even though it causes friction between you guys. To prove how not-racist they are?
It's not like they're rare. There's no historical significance to speak off. They're ugly as shit. Seriously, there's no reason to keep it, except to "stick it to them libruls".
The extreme route...
GiphyIt's racist. Them keeping the statue is racist. The lovely thing about racism is it's a great place to take a stance. I would cut back contact with your family significantly and steal and destroy that awful statue.
Stay away from those people
GiphyIt is IMPOSSIBLE to google "lawn jockey", and not immeidately understand that this is racist. He knows it's racist, but he doesn't care. Your solution is not to take friends around there. You have spoken your peace. Do not argue, justify, or explain your position, because that is as preposterous as trying to explain why you don't walk down the street and randomly punch strangers in the head. It doesn't even bear trying to have a rational discussion about it.
Simply state your position. "Hey mom, I find that statue to be racist. I feel like if you google lawn jockey, and do your own unbiased reading, it is impossible to come away with any other conclusion. Therefore, I will not be visiting your home while you choose to have such casual disregard for a racist statue." That's it. And yeah, I'm sorry to tell you but it sounds like your parents are racist if they feel that displaying that lawn jockey is that important to them.
Let them lay in the beds they made
GiphyYou know what OP, your parents were being ignorant-and there is NOTHING wrong about being ignorant to a subject, we don't know everyone's deal, HOWEVER, you took the time to research this object and educated them, this crosses the line into WILLFUL ignorance, and quite frankly, point blank racism.
I would not visit them until its removed, they know what theyre doing-its not like it pays them rent or adds deep value to their lives, and someone WILL call them out on it, don't be around when it happens.
Stand up to the root of the problem
GiphyIt sounds like your mum is just fretting because she's trying to please you both but she's not really thinking about this or taking responsibility for herself. My mum did this with her ex and me, she'd get all tearful and do that mum thing of 'I just try to please everyone' etc. Could you sit down and ask your mum what she really thinks hand on heart. It concerns me that the stepdad sounds like a jerk and your mum isn't standing up to him, either that or your mum is racist too. It could help you to figure out which one it is.
Judge the f*** out of them until they learn their lesson
GiphyHow to deal with casual racists: "Don't make me feel bad, it feels like I'm being judged!" "It should. Because I'm judging you."
Talk about the money
GiphyLol have u read Stephen kings duma key be glad it isn't chasing u they should sell it it actually does have value but gives the wrong impression for sure I'd push ur step dad that way he'd probably be more likely to get rid of it if there was money in it
Get rid of it yourself
GiphyAm I the only one who would throw caution out the window and smash the s*** out of that stupid, racist piece of garbage?? (The lawn ornament, but maybe the stepparent, too. Up to interpretation. )
Hoarding may be the issue here
GiphyDoes your stepdad have hoarding tendencies?? Like, is he scared to get rid of it because he thinks it is worth something?? Look it up on eBay, and see if ANY of them have sold, and what they sold for. Offer to sell it for him??? If it's what I think it is, it's cringe inducing, and I wouldn't want to be associated with the house that displays it.
A different point of view
GiphyWell, it's not your house, so while you don't like it, it's really none of your business. You are forcing an issue between your mother and your step-father about something at THEIR house.
That said, I think you are also wrong about what you think of the statue, based on a few minutes of my own research:
"The jockey, in a similarly secret way, pointed to safe houses along the Underground Railroad.
"These statues were used as markers on the Underground Railroad throughout the South into Canada," says historian/author Charles Blockson, curator of the Afro-American Collection at Temple University in Philadelphia. "Green ribbons were tied to the arms of the statue to indicate safety; red ribbons meant to keep going.
"People who don't know the history of the jockey have feelings of humiliation and anger when they see the statue," he adds. "But this figure, which was sometimes used in a clandestine nature, and sometimes without the knowledge of the person who owned the statue, was a positive and supportive image to African-Americans on the road to freedom.""
From a 1998 article in the Chicago Tribune.
I'm not researching it any more to have any more of an opinion. Not your house.
The important question
GiphyYou are right for feeling as you do about the lawn ornaments. But I would ask, is it worth straining your relationship with your mother over? I get the impression that your step-dad is taking an opposing stance not because he actually likes or cares about the statue but because you have taking such a vocal position, it's almost like he's doing it for spite. Also, he might feel that you are accusing him of being racists and he's being defensive and doubling down. I bet if you never mentioned the statue to him again it would eventually disappear. Also you mentioned that your Mom said he agreed to get rid of, give him the chance to do the right thing.
The Craziest Conspiracy Theories People Have Ever Secretly Believed
Reddit user streetancient asked: 'What is the craziest conspiracy theory that you secretly believe in?'
It's hard not to get worn out and dispirited by the seemingly unending conspiracy people continue to promote.
It should be noted that even the people who roll their eyes at those who believe these conspiracies might actually believe a conspiracy theory of their own.
More often than not, these aren't the sort of theories that could bring harm to others, though they still might not share their belief in these theories with others.
Even their closest friends.
"What is the craziest conspiracy theory that you secretly believe in?"
Or The Singers Just Wanted To Travel?
"Ireland began deliberately entering bad songs into the Eurovision Song Contest in the 90s."
"After winning it consecutively for a few years it began getting too expensive to host so they sabotaged their chances of winning it."- Houlilala
They Weren't That Cute...
"Build-A-Bear came out with a bunch of new toys that were all the same shade of yellow right after their Minion launch severely underperformed."
"They had stockpiled yellow fabric in anticipation of the Minion toys selling well and getting a big production run and had to find a way to use it all."- everlasting1der
Be Careful What You Ask...
"I believe r/AskReddit is actually a data farming operation that is being used to feed AI algorithms in order to produce more effective propaganda, social control mechanisms, etc… but what do I know…" - Sackerson-502
Search Engine Instagram GIF by GiflyticsGiphyBut Where Do The Beans Go?
"This is dumb, but my mother believes that the coffee grinder machines at the gas station are fake..as in they make a lot of noise just to make you think what your getting is fresh coffee."
"When it's 'grinding' the beans, you never see the beans move."
"We called the gas station and the employee said he doesn't know how the coffee makers work since a 3rd party refills them up or changes the flavors."
"I've called her crazy but slowly i'm getting sucked into it, simply because it's fun."- james_castrello2
Which Would Be More Embarassing?
"Paul Pierce sh*t his pants during the 2008 NBA Finals."
"He sat on the floor apparently injured until he was taken off the court in a wheelchair and returned minutes later completely fine."
"Sitting on the floor and leaving in a wheelchair stopped anybody from seeing his dookie stains."- pierremanslappy
paul pierce GIFGiphyNot Exactly Helping Anyone...
"Micro plastics are making people dumber."- blackbeautybyseven
When They Could Broaden Their Client Lists...
"That the weight loss industry sets people up to fail, because if their products worked they wouldn't have return customers."- Funky_chicken89
What's Important, He's Out There...
"It’s not the cameras: Bigfoot is blurry."- QuillDidNothingWrong
Bigfoot Sasquatch GIF by MOODMANGiphyThe World May Never Know...
"North Korea had an underground nuclear testing site collapse."
"Kim Jong Un then went to China."
"North Korea declared in their state news paper that they have perfected the nuke, and will no longer do any more tests."
"My theory is that Kim Jong Un went to China to ask for help fixing their nuclear disaster."
"Xi told him to deal with it himself and to stop playing with nukes."
"Kim came back to N.Korea like a beaten dog."- Initial-Finger-1235
What Lurks Beneath Midtown
"Occultist architect Ivo Shandor outfitted most of the buildings in downtown Manhattan with a specific alloy which, when activated under the right conditions, would summon Gozer the Gozerian."- Rogue_Wallet
A Connection To Brag About?
"This is dumb lmao, there is a man who lived and worked as a teacher where I'm from in NC."
"His name was Peter Stuart Ney."
"It was during the early 1800s, there's a local legend that lives on that this man was in fact one of Napoleon's right hand men, and fought alongside him even."
"It's been disproven apparently by the French government over the years, it's just funny how this guy was supposedly executed in 1815, just to show up over in NC as a teacher with the same surname and military expertise just 1 year later."
"They say he was a skilled fencer, and he had precise military knowledge even though he was just a teacher for the local school system."
"On his deathbed he supposedly confessed to being one Marshal Michel Ney, the 'Bravest of the Brave', according to Napoleon."
"Wild story but part of me just fully f*cking believes it's crazy enough to be true."
"Records indicated he had shown up in Charleston SC in 1816, just a year after this Michel Ney was executed in France."
"Idk, it's just a crazy story."- actuallyjayft
pizza emoji GIFGiphy...Aside From The Fact That Fairy Tales Are Public Domain...
"Disney only do remakes to retain copyright on the stories."- AndPlagueFlowers
Likely True For Some Of Them...
"All those crazy Boomers have lead poisoning."- octavialovesart
Bodes Well For Online Dating Too...
"The Empty Internet Conspiracy."
"A large part of the population of the internet and, thus, a large part of interactions on the internet are completely fake."
"Just faceless chat bots tooling around; generating social media posts, YouTube comments, and opinion articles on news sites."
"With the rise of AI generated essays and research papers, it's becoming easier to draw lines between those papers and how random news articles can read in a way in which a human would never write."- Karmit_Da_Fruge
Internet Netneutrality GIF by Ryan SeslowGiphyAs long as people keep these beliefs to themselves, and don't try to promote them, then they have every right to believe these rather dubious stories are true.
And who knows, some of these stories are so far-fetched, perhaps the only way they came to prominence was because they actually happened.
Movies can be one of the most entertaining forms of media, but it has to be good.
Seems simple, right?
Some movies are really good. As an avid reader and huge fan of book-to-movie adaptations, I enjoyed the ones that were made well. This included The Count of Monte Cristo, The Hunger Games series, and even Twilight, despite not actually liking the book series.
However, some book-to-movie adaptations were so bad, I wished I hadn't spent time or money on it. The Maximum Ride movie, the two Percy Jackson movies (I can't believe a second one was even made after the disaster that is "The Lightning Theif"), and of course, "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince."
David Yates, who directed the fifth movie, also directed the sixth. Known for directing darker movies, he decided to go in a funnier, lighter direction for the sixth movie and took away all the magic that made Harry Potter so amazing. Luckily, he went back to his talents for the seventh and eigth movie, but I spent a fortune (or what was a fortune for a teenager) getting tickets to the midnight premiere, and I ended up aplogizing to everyone for taking them to see that movie. I will never not be sorry about that.
Redditors are familiar with the experience of paying money to see amovie and wishing they hadn't, and they are eager to share.
It all started when Redditor Pitiable-Crescendo asked:
"What was the most disappointing movie you paid to see?"
Couldn't Pay Me To See It
"Cats. I couldn’t believe anyone thought that was passable as quality"
– Majirra
"I like the 1990s version with Elaine Paige, but that's because I like the music, Elaine Paige, musicals, stage movies, etc. (Like Newsies and Hamilton are awesome, grew up watching stuff on theater irl like plays.)"
"I wouldn't even watch the 2019 Cats for free, despite the casting."
– Binx_da_gay_cat
Poor Adaptations
"Eragon. It's not even close. My dad and i were huge fans of the series when it came out. We walked out of the movie early and it left such a bad taste in our mouths that we stopped reading the series."
– An_Actual_Pine_Tree
"Was coming in to say the same thing. Read it as a child. What a dumpster fire."
"Coming off Harry Potter I thought adaptations were inherently good."
– magvadis
"I love that r/eragon just acts like the movie was never made lol. I’m cautiously optimistic for the Disney+ remake of Eragon to be released"
– SaltyWitch1393
"As a fan of both Artemis Fowl and Willow, I'd advise you to have far more caution than optimism."
– Flustro
"God I'm so glad I didn't pay money to see Artemis Fowl, that was an irredeemable piece of lazy CGI a**hole. Bad script, bad acting, bad production design, ALL of the dry Irish humour sucked out of it, no personality."
"I feel bad for Eoin Colfer, I at least hope he got paid enough for the rights."
– Charlie_TheRoadQueen
Bad Movies
"The Fantastic Four remake"
"ETA: Fant4stic, 2015 is the one I’m talking about. Realized I should’ve specified that."
– robert_flavor
"Fant4stic? The one where Doom is an ecoterrorist who only appears near the end of the movie?"
– CttCJim
"I remember being 11 and seeing it because i was big on Marvel Ultimate Alliance 1 & 2, and pretty much coming to the realization for the first time in my life that movies could be bad, lol"
– tsushi17
Master Of No Movie Elements
"Avatar: The Last Airbender"
"$17 and change for the IMAX showing when it first came out"
– Spenceresquire
"Okay so it was the most disappointing movie I ever paid for but the best movie experience of my young life. I was in a theater that was literally Shouting "Aang!" Every time they said "Ong". There was booing. There was screaming. The audience made the movie."
– GViceyroy
"There is no movie in Ba Sing Se"
– KaityKat117
Horrible On All Levels
"Pooh: Blood and Honey. Please don't watch it."
– Sure-Mathematician68
"I've loved Pooh and the 100 Acre Wood community my entire life. Also a big horror fan. My friends know this. My best friend had gift certificates to our local theater and decided to treat my husband and I to a double date with her/her hubby. I was so excited. Even dressed up in my Pooh onesie...it was so, SO bad. Like, not even good bad. No clever writing or dialogue. No creative kills. Terrible acting. Terrible effects and makeup and lighting. Wasn't even good enough to be considered "b" or "c" level. Just all around bad. Surprisingly, the theater was actually pretty full too. The majority of audience members were laughing/cringing/booing, but not even in a fun way...the whole experience felt very awkward and forced. At least I didn't pay for it tho lol"
– Eleven77
I'm So Sorry
"A Wrinkle in Time. Took the family to see it one Mother’s Day, I apologized on the way out of the theater"
– Octowuss1
"This was definitely mine. I have never wanted to get up and leave a theater before in my life...ever for the worst of the worst. But A Wrinkle in Time almost broke me."
– MikeCross234
A Positive Result?
"Emoji movie. Don't ask"
– wh0_is_jj
"Wasnt this the movie that got Jordan Peele into directing because he was so insulted after being offered the role as poop and decided to just quit acting?"
– EXusiai99
"I had a former boss that said he watched it at a theater and was glad that it was at a theater with alcohol so that he was drunk watching much of it, but said that it probably would have been better on shrooms."
– SAugsburger
"My favorite thing about the Emoji Movie is that it's the reason Jordan Peele went into directing movies"
– eatenbyagrue1988
Yikes!
"Dragonball Evolution."
– briktop420
"Damn you paid to see it?"
– nctu5150
"So did I. What a waste of time and money. It's been 14 years and I'm still angry about it. Even for a generic teen B-movie it's been subpar. The blatant disrespect for the source material, it's almost as if the writers and director hated dragonball and did the movie out of spite."
– XTJ7
Respect The Source
"The Dark is Rising."
"The novels are a classic series of creepy, weird, Celtic mythology-based collection of nightmares... but for kids (or young adults). I've loved them my whole life."
"The movie is abomination to the extent that the guy who wrote the screenplay said he'd never actually finished the books because they were "boring.""
"It's beyond awful. I was fuming."
– matty80
The House Of Mouse
"As a lifelong X-Men fan, Dark Phoenix. Especially since it came out after Endgame."
– lakersfan1989
"Dark Phoenix was Disney's fault. The film had already been finished (or was already in the final stages) when negotiations began for Disney to buy Fox, which led to the release being postponed. When Disney bought Fox, they changed many things, they did re-recordings and redid a part of the post-production."
"Everything so that it would not overshadow the MCU Movies. Even the flames that characterize Fenix were removed and something else was put in, so that Captain Marvel was the only Heroine with flames and avoid comparisons."
"And I'm not exaggerating, I remind you that Dark Phoenix was going to be a trilogy. Beginning when Jean is possessed by the Phoenix force, Ella and Scott are chased and have to flee, the plot would take them to space and the third film would end as it did in the comics. Jean Gray sacrificing herself to save the universe."
"I can't believe what that damn mouse did to the x-men, he canceled the trilogy and changed the movie so much that it was horrible."
– Soren-J
2 Hours We'll Never Get Back
"Green Lantern starring Ryan Reynolds"
– Mash_Ketchum
"I will always love what they did in Deadpool 2 regarding the movie"
– edwpad
"Went to the midnight showing. The place was packed. Some guy came in cosplay too."
"He was the first to break the awkward silence after by shouting “WTF WAS THAT SH*T!""
– savwatson13
Wish This Didn't Exist
"Batman V Superman."
"Took my family and some friends to see it in the theater. I was hyped. First time seeing bats, Supes and Wonder Woman in the same film? It was going to be an event. You know? Like it’d surpass the avengers first assembling. I was looking forward to it more than Civil war."
"Then the movie was sh*t. I legit apologized to everyone I took for wasting their time."
"Then I saw it again thinking maybe I just didn’t get it and went in hoping for X but was disappointed in Y. Nope. Still didn’t like it."
"Then I heard about a directors cut of the movie that would add more time to it and I knew this was where the money was. I bought it the instant it came out. I watched it twice. Just to soak it all in."
"Nope. Still sh*t, but 30 minutes longer."
"I’m still mad at myself for seeing it twice. Every time since? Well, that’s just me doubling down."
– Finito-1994
Yep. I hated that one too!
Any films to add to the list? Let us know below in the comments.
Money can be the root of all evil.
But it can also be the root of all happiness.
What a pendulum.
There are some things that money simply makes easier.
And so many wealthy people try to downplay that truth.
Wouldn't it be nice to vacation whenever and wherever?
Or imagine getting sick and not caring about a co-pay or even a bill?
Redditor pambannedfromchilis wanted the wealthy to spill the deets on being wealthy, so they asked:
"What is something only a wealthy person would know?"
Tell me the secrets. Just first let me get a pen and paper.
Private Listings
I Am Rich Nene Leakes GIFGiphy"You can opt not to be on those 'wealthiest people' lists - for a price."
draggar
"The number of people that actively avoid those lists is far higher than the number of people on those lists. Also, some people actively manage the amount the list shows."
Ragnel
Call Me
"The phone numbers from people who could help you out of any (even bad) situation."
purevenuscookieslog
"All you need is one person with the right phone number and worth that level of protection."
There is a neighborhood in Colorado Springs with a large number of former generals, nuclear scientists, corporation directors, etc. Within 5 minutes of a burglary alarm going off, the criminal was dead. I can assure you that the Colorado Springs police can't respond that quickly."
jeffh4
HELP!
"The less help you need, the more you get."
manIDKbruh
"You have access to favorable credit lines with better rates than ordinary folk. They just throw money at you when you have money."
dbx999
"Bob Hope used to say 'a bank is a place that'll lend you money, but only if you can prove you don't need it.'"
tommytraddles
Premium Help
"How to fully use a hotel concierge service."
Firebolt164
"Was in Australia at a nice hotel. Wanted to go to Royal Observatory but there were no tickets that evening - only the evening we could make it. Ended up in casual conversation with the hotel concierge. At some, told him how much we were enjoying our visit and he asked if there was anything disappointing."
"I said only that we could not get into the Royal Observatory. He said he’d see what he could do, catching me by surprise having been unfamiliar with what a concierge does before then. That night my wife and I were looking at the Jewel Box through the telescope at the Royal Observatory."
arriesgado
Celeb Encounters
Rihanna Boat GIFGiphy"You can rent celebrities for your private events. Not just musicians, but bonafide actors and actresses."
MediumRareTaint
"I remember a few years ago the founder of Lululemon, Chip Wilson, had the Red Hot Chili Peppers play in his backyard here in Vancouver. We could hear them from the beach below."
madam1madam
If had the money to rent people for private events, Adele would have plans forever!
What is Rent?
Alicia Silverstone My Bad GIFGiphy"Have a friend who is moving to the Bay area. To work for a non-profit. Part-time. She didn't know what her salary would be."
minervazahara
Fly High
"Private jets come with different size luggage compartments."
thinkx5
"I mean, do all cars have the exact same size trunk? No, some are roomy as sh*t and some are teeny. It makes sense that different models from different manufacturers would have different sized/shaped compartments, especially given there are some that seat 4 passengers and some that seat 14."
fireandlifeincarnate
Member-Owned
"The difference between an equity country club and a membership country club."
smurfsundermybed
"Some country clubs have vested ownership (ie 100% member-owned) while others are owned by corporations. It really isn't always a prestige thing, many older clubs in the sticks only came about because they were member-owned and built by a group of families."
"Of course, nearly all of today's old-school elite courses started out as member-owned but that doesn't mean all member-owned courses are elite."
Salamok
"Yeah, this is a good one. Also, the understanding that you can't just walk into most private clubs, write a check for whatever the fee is and become a member. Most of the equity clubs have a white ball/black ball system too, similar to fraternities, where two or three blacks DQ you."
xkulp8
When in Need
"The VIP hotline number at the children's hospital when your kid needs urgent care but there's a big wait in the ER (but your kid isn't sicker than anybody else's kid in the ER), and you won't get to the front of the line. Blew my mind when a very wealthy friend told me he did this for his child (the friend's father was a huge donor to the hospital). More power to him, but there is the wealthy and then there is the wealthy."
off_mode_auto
The Most Valuable
Seth Meyers Time GIF by Late Night with Seth MeyersGiphy"That wealth is not what people see. It's what people don't get to see. That the most valuable asset is not things, but time."
shidored
Whoever said money can't buy happiness is lying.
There is the biggest secret.
We all have things that we enjoy and things that we absolutely can't stand, and that's also totally true of the things that people do around us or do to us.
And women have something to say about men's behavior, how they treat women, and what women would like them to stop doing, effective immediately.
Redditor enkiv2 asked:
"Women of Reddit, what's something specific that you wish men would stop doing?"
Clean Hands Required
"Stop trying to touch me (in any way) with dirty hands. Go clean your talons first."
- isthishowweadult
Know When to Stop Flirting
"If a woman tells you she's a lesbian when you're flirting, it means one of two things:"
"1: She is a lesbian."
"2: She is pretending to be a lesbian so you'll stop flirting with her."
"Either way, you should stop flirting with her."
- BW_Bird
No Unsolicited Pics
"Please stop sending d**k pics to random women online. It's just straight-up creepy and gross. If a woman wants to see your d**k, she'll ask for a picture."
- F**K_INDUSTRIAL
Take Rejection Gracefully
"Stop harming or threatening harm to women who reject them."
- prezzyofthedgc
End All Body-Shaming
"Stop being mean to girls they find unattractive."
- webbrlx
The Alpha Male
"Stop calling yourself an 'alpha' or 'sigma' male."
"You aren’t necessarily hurting anyone by doing it, but no one takes you seriously when you talk like that."
"I think people who call themselves Sigma consider themselves 'lone wolf' types. In my opinion, I think they’re trying to come across as one step less douchey by not believing they exist to boss people around, but it is clearly ineffective."
- aliteralbagof_d**ks
Step Aside
"When you need to get past me, please don't put your hands on my waist/hips/lower back to move me aside. I don't know you. Stop touching me."
- teddybearer79
Don't Make Me Laugh
"Just because a woman is not smiling, it is not your job to change that."
- Idol_Luna
Just No
"No is a complete sentence."
"Sorry, I was bored at work, so this was a bit short. What I meant is, if you are in a relationship with a guy, no would be a short, perhaps cold answer, but I don't think that's what OP meant."
"I meant it as, if a guy bothers you for any reason, like he wants your phone number or any socials you don't want to give him, you don't need to provide a reason, because a simple no should be enough. Unfortunately, a lot of men (yes I know, not all) won't take just a no for an answer and must know the reason, because whatever."
"So, to answer the original question: I wish some guys would just accept a simple no and would stop asking again and again and again for something that has already been answered with a no."
- H**lKaiserFox
Not "Like a Girl"
"Thinking that being a woman is a reason for her mistakes."
"I was one of the only three girls in an engineering course (of 60 people). And if I did a mistake in class, it was because I was a girl. But if my male coursemate made a mistake, it is only because humans are not perfect, and next time he will do better."
- Hezal05
Commitment and Loyalty
"Stop acting like they’re single while having a girlfriend."
- Sea-Dark-4953
Weaponized Incompetence
"Stop practicing weaponized incompetence."
- Kaitzilla
"What does that mean? I’d look it up, but women are just naturally better at researching things."
- orchidofthefuture
Show Some Manners
"Stop spitting on the floor in public. Why do they do it?"
- fruitmachine_future
Better to Be Safe than Sorry
"Stop dismissing our safety concerns and trying to gaslight us out of taking basic precautions."
- Raaqu
Not Everyone Is Compatible
"If a woman says she doesn’t want children, don’t respond by saying she doesn’t know better."
"I don't know where you guys get off of telling a grown woman that she doesn’t know what she wants, but it needs to stop. If she doesn't want children, respect her decision, and date someone else."
- sunny_rain316
We've surely all done something that bothered someone else in the room, whether that person told us or not. But there are certain behaviors that men practice so frequently that women have a response ready, just for this occasion.
While men surely have their annoyances regarding women, they surely could learn something from this list just the same.