Does anyone ever question why we do some of the things that we do? It seems that we as a society become accustomed to the weirdest sh*t. Luckily, these Redditors were thinking the same thing. Here are the social norms that they just don't understand.
Reddit user ngdingyao asked:
Which social norms absolutely baffle you?
Asking the real questions.
"Requiring employees that sit in an office all day to dress up in business attire. Who are we trying to impress?"
"This is why I'm glad my office is basically of the opinion, "don't wear anything that's inappropriate". I wear shorts and Red Sox shirts in the summer and jeans and long sleeves in the winter. Some people wear hats. The only ones who have to dress nice are the actual customer facing people."
Why can't we be honest?
Giphy"Co-worker: "Hey, how are you?"
"Me (dying inside, pounding migraine): "Great. how are you?"
"Co-worker (reeling from the sudden death of his mom): "Good thanks."
An unfair expectation.
"People expect you to smile and talk all the time. When you don't, you are either seen as angry, depressed or something else negative."
"That really bugs me. Whenever my aunt and my cousin/her daughter are around, my aunt is always telling us to chat with each other anytime there's a second of silence. What's wrong with just chilling in silence??"
"My aunt drove me to a doctor's appointment before and on the car ride there, she told us to talk, at the doctor's she told us to talk, eating lunch she told us to talk, on the car ride back told us to talk. Like Jesus calm down."
That makes zero sense.
"I was told that it's not acceptable to send a Christmas card to someone who's experienced a death in their family within the last year."
"Can't believe I was reprimanded for not knowing this "rule" and for having offended the recipient by doing what I believed was a thoughtful gesture of goodwill."
"Please ignore that advice, and correct the person who told it to you."
"Yeah, Christmas can be really hard when missing someone, but that fact that you're thinking about them can only help."
Hanging out with people is overrated.
Giphy"Spending time by yourself is considered "doing nothing" but if you have plans with others it's not."
"I hate that too, I used to always feel like a hermit when coworkers asked what I was up to at the weekend cos I like doing nothing. But then another coworker taught me 2 things: 1) Nobody cares what you're doing as long as it sounds positive and doesn't protract the interaction and 2) Chilling out is an activity. Now my go-to answer is "relaxing, been a busy week. You?"
Fair.
"I have autism so all of them."
"Oh man, everyday Ok eye contact, nod, ok too much eye contact, look away, shoot at what? Ok look at them again, nod, break eye contact, not too fierce now, nod "Umm sorry what were you saying?" REPEAT"
A silly one.
"When people get angry when people don't say 'bless you' after they sneeze. Really, I hope a medieval demon didn't enter your body during that sneeze, but do I really have to say something?"
"I acknowledge your sneeze."
Messed up.
Giphy"Talking about salary being so taboo."
"Places do that so they won't have to pay workers what they are worth. I worked the line in a restaurant and my buddy who was way more experienced told me how much he was making and it was 2 dollars less than me. After I quit I told him what I made and that I felt bad about not telling him sooner. Thankfully he wasn't pissed at me and told the manager the next day that either he gets a 2 dollar raise or he's quitting then and there."
Gender norms are stupid.
"How "tomboys"/straight women who like traditionally masculine things are considered cool, hip and attractive, but straight men who like things that are traditionally feminine are apparently in the closet and are laughed at. Someone, please explain to me why that is."
A "no" is free.
"Okay so I think it's weird that saying a simple "no" is rude."
"Like I was invited to a Christmas party, I do not want to go. I made up a big excuse as to why I can't come so I don't come off as rude."
"I wish I could simply say "no I don't want to go, but thank you for inviting me".
"Trophy hunters..."
"Little kid hurts or kills animals for fun: is labeled as a troubled and needs help"
"Trophy hunters hurts and kills animals for fun: is labeled as a sport/hobby"
"Also when you say you aren't hungry..."
"Refusing tea at least once before accepting a cup."
"Also when you say you aren't hungry but then your granny/aunt/mothers friend presents you with a full tray of biscuits, chocolate, scones etc anyway and you're considered a rude bastard if you refuse (despite the aforementioned "not hungry" happening 15 minutes ago)."
"I don't know..."
"Bringing people a glass of water when they're in distress."
"I work at a hospital and whenever we have to give a person bad news about a relative, more often than not someone offers them a glass of water as if it could somehow help."
"I don't know if the tactic here is to distract them or what, but it just never made much sense to me."
"I was raised on recycled clothing..."
"People paying the price they do for clothing. I was raised on recycled clothing and almost only buy very clearance clothing. I have paid for 2 dresses full price that I liked but it took my husband badgering that it was okay to buy something expensive to get it. I actually can afford full price but I feel shame if I do."
"Never made sense..."
"People who have served time in jail/prison not being given the opportunity to find employment which in turn leads them to commit more crime while society says "it's your own fault that you ended up in jail/prison in the first place so you don't get a second chance." Never made sense as to why they can't return to a life without crime without constantly being judged or discriminated against (if they indeed are trying to change their ways)."
"There is no reason..."
"Arguing with people on social media. Just shut up and ignore the comment. There is no reason to antagonize them."
"What you give..."
"I hate Christmas cards. In the past they made sense. An easy way to wish someone well on Christmas Day when you could otherwise not see them. I get that. But now we have phones, and emails."
"What you give, for the sometimes inane prices for a piece of card, is a brief moment of obligatory thanks, followed by the knowledge that they will eventually throw said card out, possibly feeling guilty about it."
"The unwillingness of most people..."
"The unwillingness of most people to condemn, ridicule, dehumanize, and ostracize others for their opinions."
"I understand the use..."
"Corporate and political doublespeak. I understand the use but I'm sick of hearing people using words to mask what they really mean."
"No."
"The expectations to shake someone's hand."
"I was at my great-grandmother's funeral five years ago and it still irks me how every relative attending the wake just casually entered my personal space to grab my hand. No. Don't touch me. I don't know you, I don't know anyone here. I want to go home."
"More accurately..."
"Social drinking. More accurately, the attitude that social drinking means it's all good. Doesn't matter how much or little, social drinking is okay. Doesn't matter if you spent the weekend covered in puke from Friday to Sunday, if it was social drinking, you don't have a problem you just like to party. I tend to drink at home by myself. The sheer number of people who off that info alone who have treated me like an incurable compulsive alcoholic is too damn high. Keep in mind these are the same people who black out, rack up charges, get into legal trouble, get sick, and blow all their paychecks at bars. But I am the alcoholic because I fill up a small glass of whiskey at home!"
"When yawning..."
"When yawning is seen as rude or a sign that you're bored. I can't control when I yawn, and I do it even when I'm not bored or tired."
"The idea..."
"The idea of "don't care what other people think" being pushed onto kids by the same people who tell them to not do a myriad of things so people don't think negatively about them."
"People say it's because..."
"Showing up late to parties. People say it's because the party hasn't started yet at the time advertised, but that's cause everyone is late. Don't tell me something you've invited me to starts at 7 if you don't want me to be there at 7. You can't change my mind."
"Tipping."
"Tipping."
"Waiter? 10-15%."
"Hairdresser? At least 15%."
"Taxi Driver? 10% max."
"WHY IS IT DIFFERENT? WHY CAN'T I JUST TIP EVERYONE THE SAME?"
"I would often get lectured..."
"I would often get lectured because I would ask someone "How old are you" (particularly when they say it's their birthday) and "How much do you make / How much does ______ cost?"
"It became normal for beautiful people..."
"It became normal for beautiful people to say that they look ugly just to be showered with compliments and reassuring that can go to people that actually need it."
"That couples sleep in the same bed."
"That couples sleep in the same bed. Nah, I like what I like and they like what they like. So let's get it on, cuddle, and just before we fall asleep I crawl into my own dream boat."
How meta.
"Putting asterisks in swear words."
"If you type, "Jimmy called me an a**hole," there are two possible outcomes for the reader:"
- "They know that the asterisks are replacing letter S and know that the words is "a**hole" so you might as well have just written "a**hole".
- "They don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing and are unable to determine what word its supposed to be, and you therefore failed at communicating."
"Nowadays..."
"Nowadays people equate not having multiple jobs or side hustles as laziness. It's OKAY to relax after your full time job(s). It's OKAY to not want to have a side hustle. No one has the right to judge."
"I feel we shouldn't ask..."
"I feel we shouldn't ask if we aren't totally ready to commit to truly hear the answer."
"This "How are you?" norm thing is BS."
"Asking when I'm gonna marry."
"Asking when I'm gonna marry. Every year during gathering, relatives keep asking the same damn question. I mean, what's the big deal? I'll marry when I want to geez..."
Tipping 2.0
"Tipping based on a percentage of your meal cost. Since waiter/waitress pay is directly related to how many fresh tables they serve, shouldn't tipping be related to how long you stay at the restaurant?"
"Why is it that..."
"Why is it that when someone misunderstands me the fault of communication is with me, the sender, but when I'm offended/confused about something the fault lays on me, the recipient?"
"Being required to say..."
"Being required to say, "Good morning!" to every person I encounter at my job regardless of if they ever initiate or reply to my greeting. (This is because a co-worker told our boss that I didn't greet her every morning, even though I did and she didn't pay attention enough to acknowledge it.)"
"This look is often paired..."
"In my country (Scotland) the overwhelming use of fake tan and make up in general. Oh and smoking. People smoke A LOT here. It's disgusting. Stop it."
"The fake tan thing really baffles me. Tans are considered "healthy" here for some reason but it looks terrible when it's from a spray booth or a bottle. They end up orange and most of them don't wear gloves when putting on the bottled stuff so their hands get especially patchy, brown, orange etc."
"This look is often paired with bottle dyed black hair and thick makeup. The foundation of which never matches the newly applied fake tan so their face looks paler than it should which defies the point of it."
"And you can bet when the tan fades, the face looks darker and orange because they're always trying to look "tanned".
"It looks like crap and you look trashy."
"Think about it."
"Neckties."
"Think about it. They serve no purpose at all. It's a silly fashion trend that so needs to die. Just a part of the male (mostly) working uniform."
"But to get people you don't care about..."
"I can't stand holidays that require gift giving. I'll get you something anytime of the year if I want to. But to get people you don't care about gifts because Coca Cola says to is insanity."
"Can you imagine..."
"Wearing perfume or colognes––especially if you work in an office environment. You are basically forcing your preferred smell onto someone else's sense of smell. Can you imagine carrying a small speaker around and playing music wherever you went? We wouldn't accept forcing your own taste in music onto others, but we accept it with smells?"
"Like..."
"Fancy silverware and dishes. Like, buying foodstuffs with the explicit purpose of not using it."
"Mowing your lawn. What practical purpose it there? Why is your lawn considered bad-looking if it isn't mowed? Why not leave it natural? Doesn't make any sense to me."
"I live here."
"Your house has to be squeaky clean for others. I live here. I won't work for hours only because of your presence."
"It's crazy."
"Marriage."
"Imagine if the chances of success for any other seriously life-impacting things were around 50% on a good day. No one would think its a good idea! Yet people have no problem jumping into marriages still, even though we all know that around 50% of them end in divorce, and a good portion of the other 50% are unhappy and just stuck in a bad marriage. It's crazy."
"Lying to make people feel better."
"Lying to make people feel better. For example, someone told me I wasn't fat after I said I weighed 240 pounds."
"They serve zero purpose."
"Ties. I have never understood them or liked them and think they are one of the silliest things men are forced to wear. And businesses forcing guys to wear them? What a load of crap that is. They serve zero purpose."
"Why do people feel more complete..."
"Dog ownership."
"Well animal ownership really. Why do people feel more complete by claiming lordship over a living thing with a smaller scope of understanding than you?"
"I fail to see..."
"The stigma against body modifications, particularly in professional settings. It's gotten better in recent years, but there are still plenty of employers who won't even give you the time of day if you have piercings or tattoos or unnatural hair colours. I fail to see how my purple hair automatically makes me a bad employee, or invalidates all of my qualifications and achievements up to this point."
"It's understandable..."
"How people hide their issues. It's understandable to be honest, sometimes they are not listened to or not taken seriously and it's not worth the fuss."
Has everyone forgotten how to be a person? Do you have similar stories to share? Let us know in the comments below.
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Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.
Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.