Social Butterflies Share Advice On How To Make Meaningful Friendships As An Adult
Many children seem to have almost no problems making friends. "Oh, hi fellow person who is approximately my age and is within reasonable proximity to me, we're friends now!" and that's it. It's almost like they don't really have a criteria past that, and that's great! It means making friendships that matter tends to come easier for them. But what about us adults? One reddit user asked:
And we were like "... ... ... actually we have no idea." and hopped right into this thread ready to screenshot and implement new ideas. Why? Because we need actual in-person friends, that's why. We love you dearly, citizens of internet, but you guys can't come out with us to try and match beta fish to the wall color of the room the fish tank is in. Wait, we might know why we have no friends...
Click next and read through while we sit and do some serious contemplation about ourselves.
Begin With The Beginners
Join a beginner's class for something new that sounds interesting every once in a while! Best case, you make some new friends and maybe find a fun new hobby. Worst case, you still try something new and maybe get some good stories out of it.
Seriously, I took a couple fencing lessons and while it turns out fencing is totally not for me, I met some awesome people through it. And I took a cooking class where I didn't really meet anybody I clicked with, but now I know how to make crepes, so I'm calling it a win
I'm going to be 100% honest, when I first turned 18 I had no confidence. I had been to a bar a couple times and the extent of my knowledge was "I'll have a beer".
I'm not making this up when I say floral shirts changed that. I wore a floral shirt to the club (first time I ever went to a club) because my friend said "wear something funky so that it catches the black light nicely" so I did and instantly people came up to me and talked to me. Sometimes you don't have to directly make an effort but I guess when you do something that catches people's attention in an out-there way (positively and innocently) it helps. I found myself having conversations that I didn't start. It definitely helped me get out of my shell :)
Put It All Out There
By going to activities you're actually interested in. Look up local meet up groups for dog walking or dungeons and dragons or tomahawk throwing... whatever your interests are and then go. If you're active in your professional field, go to happy hours or chat up coworkers at lunchtime.
Honestly, it's more about putting yourself out there than anything else. I'm naturally introverted so I understand how hard it can be; but in relationships of any kind you really do get out what you put in.
Wait, There's An OUT Of The House?
Find someone at work you don't hate. Invite them to do something you like. See if it works out. If not, eh, try again with someone or something else. Get a gym membership, take a class in something (anything), go to a bar and go for broke on karaoke, volunteer somewhere... Common thread: you have to get out of the house, man. More than likely, you're going to have to make the first move, too. It'll be ok though.
I asked a girl from work out on a friend date. We went to the movies and saw the matador. It was weird and awkward at first to do it but she's been my best friend for 13 years and we still tell people our "first date" story . I met the rest of my friends through a guy she dated, we started going to a weekly pub quiz with some of his friends. The friends loved us and kept us! They're pretty much my family I love them all so much.
Do You, Boo
In my honest efforts over the last year to achieve this sort of stuff, the best I've come up with is to just do you. Like playing music? Buy a ukelele! Wanna be more active? Try out that climbing gym! Think you should call your mom more? You probably should!
When you do the things you love, meaningful connections will gravitate to you. People who share your passions or admire your skills. Sometimes the best was to start, is by making a meaningful connection with yourself.
Do Not Want
After I leave work, I want to leave work. Unless it's obvious that my co-worker and I would get along, I will leave work at work.
A few years ago, I realized I was isolating due to my addiction and, after I cleaned up, took several chances on meeting people. All my friends from high school had moved away. All the people I knew from college were starting families and businesses and generally didn't have time for me. So, I just started fishing. I still remember the first time I tried to buddy up with some rando. He was a nice guy and I wasn't being creepy. Just continued a conversation that he started. After a while he just kind of walked away. I remember being confused and hurt, like I had just been turned down by a girl! But I just kept trying. Honestly, it's also difficult to friend randos without a similar interest or topic to bond over, in my opinion. Unless booze is involved, but you never know if the person you've "friended" is the real friend or the inebriated person. Plus, the whole sobriety thing puts a damper on that for me.
The way I finally started meeting up and hanging out with people is by joining music appreciation group. They found out I could sing and I joined a "band" for a while. I met more people through those people and now I have regular friends for the first time in my adult life.
My suggestion would be to look for groups that meet up with similar interests. Or to go to a beginners class in whatever.
The hardest lesson for me to learn (other than to be OK with being me, first) was to not be weirded out when someone doesn't want to be your friend. The thing is, someone is going to try to be your friend and you'll want nothing to do with them. That's just the way it works.
Buddies With The Bar Staff
Moved to a new city at age 44...went to a local watering hole and became acquainted with the management, bartenders and waitstaff. Everything just fell into place after that.
Get A Better Job
Most of my new connections are from work. But its important to note that i found a job that is similar to my hobbies, so meeting like minded people was easy.
Follow Your Interests
How I've met new people outside of college:
- Gaming tournaments
- DnD games
- Tech talks
- Language classes
- Friends of friends
Basically stuff that I'm interested in, and activities where you would keep meeting the same people over a period of time. If you think about it, people make friends in school because they keep being around the same people.
Step one: acquire SO who is good at making friends Step two: let them do it for you
Dogs. Own, love, walk, understand, and generally allow yourself to succumb to dogs.
Dog people talk to each other and share their madness. You have a reason to meet, a reason to get out, and a shared pleasure.
Plus, and this is key, dogs are the best.
If you're not in school, work. If not from work, through mutual friends at social outings. Sometimes randomly when you go out.
There's also using dating apps for strictly platonic connections. Some people, I've noticed, use them for friends and friends only.
I've found that being open to new experiences is a top contender. Going to events you think you might just enjoy, and then trying to talk to people there. A compliment, passing comment, or even a direct introduction to a new person could get them talking. If they're interesting, perfect, if not. Well, there are many more people out there. Don't be afraid to cold approach people, and don't be afraid to ask questions. People love talking about themselves. Help them do that. A basic rule of thumb is as follows: FORD. Family, occupation, recreation, and dreams. Ask about any one of these things to get a conversation going. Ask more about things you're interested in, and maybe change the subject if you feel it needs to be done (at an appropriate lull in the conversation, of course). If anybody has any questions, let me know. I'd be happy to offer more information.
TLDR: Go to events even if you're unsure if you'd enjoy them. Don't be afraid to talk to people, and follow the FORD formula if you think you have nothing to talk about.
To The Rescue
Ive met most of my good friends in the last 3 years by becoming heavily involved in the animal rescue world. I wasn't expecting that to be the case but it just sort of happened and it's really made my social circle so much more varied and interesting
I joined the Navy and I made more friends and met more new people in the past 3 years than I have ever had in my entire life. I was and am an introvert but there's something about the military where people bond over common shitty experiences and put aside differences and accept one another.
Don't Try To Meet People
Best advice my therapist gave me. Don't try to meet people (I'm have crazy social anxiety), but put yourself in situations where you will meet people. I took photography classes and drawing classes. Something I've always wanted to do (especially the drawing). So I wasn't meeting people I was learning to draw and asking questions and answering questions and.. << That's the way to do it.
I can't begin to explain to you the value of the relationships I hold in my church are. I'm close with dozens of people.
Get Drunk. Look Dumb. Make Friends.
I'll preface by saying that I'm a guy who's nothing special to look at, and is usually pretty introverted. So, to start I put on my nicest clothes and got pretty drunk at home until I found the happy spot (where everything is great, but you're still mostly lucid) and then caught the train into town. I didn't know any places to go, so I talked to some other (drunk) people on the train and asked where they were headed. That in itself got me an invite to party with one group and I went with them to the first bar. The music at this bar was pretty heavy for me, so I made social media contact with some of the guys and wandered off.
Then I wandered into another bar with a lively pop dance floor, smashed a few drinks and embarrassed myself on the dance floor. Seriously. By looking like I was having a great time everyone assumed I was a fun person good at having a fun time. This led to some comments from people at the bar when I went to buy a drink which after a few runs turned into some decent conversations and introductions.
By this time of the night everyone was pretty lubed up and having a good time. Because I had become a conversation piece everyone kind of gravitated towards me for a convo. From there I got a few numbers and more social media contact.
Most of these contacts were never going to progress, but so far I've been to lunch once and have an upcoming drink session on the weekend. Again, I definitely got lucky, could still lead nowhere and it's not for everyone. But those are my 2 cents.
TL;DR Put on some nice clothes, get really drunk and have a great time at a bar BY YOURSELF. Others will come to you if you're fun.
Talk To Strangers
Go outside. Talk to strangers. Treat people well.
If you go to a coffee shop often, chat briefly with the baristas. Ask them how their shift's going. Next time, ask if they did anything fun over the weekend. Be open to sharing real information about yourself if they return the conversation. Give it a few weeks and if you've developed any chemistry, you may have found a friend.
If you have a hobby, make an effort to go out to gatherings related to it. Say hello and introduce yourself to people you meet there. Be open to sharing real information about yourself if they return the conversation. Keep going back on a relatively frequent rate. Continue talking to people. If you think they're better than you at stuff, ask about it. If they're new, offer help. Participate and people will likely ask you about stuff that you do. Nearly every great friend I've met has come from some hobby.
Anywhere outside of your home will work. Dance classes. The gym. The arcade. A book store. Foreign language practice. Volunteer work. A school board. Talk to people. Be genuine. If you like them, keep talking. If they're boring or an ass, don't keep talking. You might click instantly. It might take years before you both open up enough to realize you'll be good friends. But nothing will ever happen if you don't fucking go outside and talk to strangers.
People Break Down The Exact Moment They Realized They Were Being Manipulated By Someone They Trusted
Manipulation is designed to be stealthy. We hardly recognize it when it's happening to us because our abuser has forced it to appear under wraps.
But when we recognize it for what it really is, we really feel like we've been smacked across the face. There is no other descriptor for it. Usually we've trusted and loved those that manipulated us.
A Platitude Of Pleasing<p>You never know where the next blowout is coming from. Any time something needs to be addressed, you might try to bring it up once, gently, if you're feeling brave. If you meet the slightest bit of resistance, or you don't feel like that fight in the first place, you just go "okay dear" instead. You find that you'll put the argument off until next time, and hope that whatever you thought to bring up won't have any consequences, because you'll be hearing about those, too. It sucks, and I'm glad you can speak about it in the past tense.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/TheGreatestAuk/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">TheGreatestAuk</a></p>
Wrong Or Right Or Just Not Agreeing?<p>When I started realizing that I was feeling like I was constantly walking on eggshells. I never knew which version of my friend I'd get when we saw each other, or when we hung out. I also just completely stopped disagreeing with them because I didn't want to hear them tell me how wrong I was if we didn't share the same viewpoint.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/WhatArcherWhat/" target="_blank">WhatArcherWhat</a></p>
Being Used<p>My best friend suddenly distanced herself from me. But every now and then she'd call and ask if I wanted to do something, and I was encouraged because I thought it meant that things were still good between us. It took me an embarrassingly long time to realize that she only called when she wanted to do something that required a ride, since she didn't have a car. The only thing I can say in my defense is that I don't use people that way so I didn't recognize user behavior. You can bet I do now.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Goldeverywhere/" target="_blank">Goldeverywhere</a></p>
Hiding The Receipts<p>I was living with my former best friend and his gf at the time. When I asked for grocery receipts (I trusted him & his ex to buy groceries bc I didn't have a car at the time + our work schedules were different so I couldn't go with them) and they wouldn't provide any. The only reason I became suspicious was bc they started asking for a ridiculous amount of money for my half and the actual amount of food wasn't adding up. Up until that point they never asked for a crazy amount and I was content with our groceries, but I noticed they became extremely greedy. When I then asked to see a banking statement, they wouldn't even provide me with that either.</p><p>At that point I just realized they were finessing me out of extra money and I started buying my own food. I just bit my tongue bc we only had like 2 months left on the lease. They tried to gaslight me and make me seem like the bad guy any chance they had (almost the entire time I lived with them actually). Eventually, I grew apart from him once I moved away and the only reason he hit me back up was bc she cheated on him so he probably didn't have anyone else to turn to (go figure). We don't talk anymore.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/0MG1MW3T/" target="_blank">0MG1MW3T</a></p>
Ah Yes, Good Old DARVO<p>My mother and I have always had a rocky relationship. She's always encouraged me to tell her what's wrong, however, any time I would she'd immediately go "sorry I'm such a terrible mother, I give you everything you want and it's still not good enough! Why don't you just go live with someone you don't hate?" Keep in mind this happens over small things such as "mom, I'd appreciate it if you'd knock before coming into my room. You know how easily I startle and you barging into my room really upsets me"</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/paytonc0510/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">paytonc0510</a></p>
How Do You Do This To Someone<p>8 years into the relationship. As we're sitting down he explains to me that the "first couple years" we were together he only saw me as a place to crash and free rides, but he loved me NOW, and even though I accomplished all the goals HE set for ME so we could get married he said "I never really thought you could do it". Oh and also you got fat, but don't worry we can fix it! It was like a magic veil lifted and I finally saw who he really was. F**k you James.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/DoNotUseOnHumans/" target="_blank">DoNotUseOnHumans</a></p>
Be My Friend And Not Theirs<p>She always managed to make me do things I didn't really want to do but the last straw was when she decided I had to stop being friends with two mates of mine over something stupid that offended her. </p><p>Cut her off over that and she then proceeded to act derisively ("you'll come back"), then badmouthed me and then begged me to take her back. Ten years later I am still friends with those two guys and she's still out of my life.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/FatherTedHackett/" target="_blank">FatherTedHackett</a></p>
Victim Time<p>When literally every time me and my mom talked she played the victim.</p><p>I was trying to help her raise me, ask me about my grades and stuff. For her I just existed, she wasn't responsible at all.</p><p>I grew up watching her play the victim to others, and I was always on her side, cuz she's my mom you know. Also I never really understood what was going on.</p><p>I started getting older and older, and seeing sh*t after sh*t she did. I understood what she did to my father, to my step-dad, to my sister, to her friends.</p><p>Probably I'd be the next one who she would use and throw away.</p><p>I talked to her... and you know the result. The victim. Nothing it's her fault.</p><p>The last time we talked, I was expecting the victim card. When she started speaking, I already knew what was going to happen. I didn't even said a word, I just agreed with her, and the next day I moved out. I'm not wasting my time.</p><p>It was the last day before quarantine, I remember it as if it was yesterday. Friday night: saturday morning I was packing my stuff.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/NotFromHeel/" target="_blank">NotFromHeel</a></p>
Sixteen Years Of Made Up Lies<p>After 16 years of marriage I realized my now ex was manipulating me. I would work and take care of the house and if I asked him to do something like get a job or clean up he would stage a mental breakdown and make me feel bad for asking him for help. </p><p>He would play up a horrible childhood or PTSD from the military to make me feel like I need to take care of him. Then would play on his computer all day and smoke while I worked. </p><p>Found out that a lot of his horrible childhood stories were made up and that he never made it through basic training in the military. I am happily with someone now but still catch myself cringing when he does things like cook or clean thinking that he is going to yell at me for being lazy. Meanwhile he loves me and is just doing things to take care of me. I'm working on deprogramming myself.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/HolyCelestialCow/" target="_blank">HolyCelestialCow</a></p>
Sometimes It's The Mother-In-Law<p>Took me until after the engagement to realize that my cheating ex fiancee was trying to browbeat me into submission.</p><p>Anywho, I quickly recognized emotional blackmail and manipulation from my MIL after getting married to a different girl years later due to that experience. I called her out on it.</p><p>She... Doesn't like that. But since my wife and sister-in-law and brother-in-law also recognize it they've got my back.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/engineertr1gg/" target="_blank">engineertr1gg</a></p>
Just as new mothers encounter the sudden, influential developments of powerful hormone changes, protective instincts, and milk production, so new fathers undergo some key changes of their own.
Their socks become exclusively white, climbing higher up the calf than ever before. All their shorts sprout cargo pockets and clunky belt loop cell phone holders. They start to really lean in to their old records.
Regional Laws<p>"Dad, driving past a cemetery: Did you know anyone living in a 3 mile radius of a cemetery isn't allowed to be buried there?"</p><p>"Me: No, I had no idea. How come?"</p><p>"Dad: Yeah, you're not allowed to bury the living"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjk1d2k?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">TinyLuckDragon</a></p>
For the Face Plant Image<p>"Why do Scuba Divers fall backwards off a boat?"</p><p>"Because if they fell frontwards they'd still be on the boat" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjjv4mt?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">hatsnatcher23</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Just told this one to my bf and he still has his face in his hands" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjka0w7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">sxeoompaloompa</a></p>
A Mammal of Few Words<p>"What did the father buffalo say when his child left for school?"</p><p>"Bison" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjjp257?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">TatooineLight</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"LOL" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjjp9p0?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">BennuH</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Told this to my brother, he laughed his a** off." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjk4cvq?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Type10Civilization</a></p>
Baggage<p>"When I do home improvements I always use my step ladder"</p><p>"I never knew my real ladder" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjjlkab?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">DavosLostFingers</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Whoever took the ladder, please return it or further steps will be taken." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjm2htz?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">WaldhornNate</a></p>
Woah Woah Woah, We're in Public<p>"Me: I'm not very hungry, I just want something easy"</p><p>"Server: maybe the chicken strips for $6"</p><p>"Me: maybe it does, but that doesn't help my hunger" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjjuq78?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">mcnoobs_</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"My husband was facepalming for solid 8 minutes after I read that joke to him." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjnee7m?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Madanax</a></p>
Not Wrong<p>"Two dudes were on a boat with a few cigarettes, but they didn't have anything to light them, so they threw one of the cigarettes out of the boat, and the boat became a cigarette lighter." </p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjjkeoz?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">OrangeMirrorJuice</a></p>
Watch the News Before Saying This One<p>"Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?"</p><p>"It's okay, they eventually woke up."</p><p>"I cringe every time." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjk0ej7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">unicorndreamz94</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"My 10 year old tried this one a few weeks ago. Unfortunately, I had just read news about a missing local girl. 'So I answered that yes I heard about the missing girl' Scared the sh** out of my 10 year old" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjo3ssv?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Aubear11885</a></p>
Got a Million of Em<p>"What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fshhhh."</p><p>"I'm sorry but I'm about to say something tasteless. Water."</p><p>"I got fired from my job at the calendar factory. I took a day off."</p><p>"Unfortunately though, I can't really tell these jokes since I'm not a dad. I'm a faux pa."</p><p> -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjk9igl?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">WholeGrainMustard</a></p>
G-Pa With the Physics Humor<p>"Why does the movie "speed" have no director?"</p><p>"If it had direction, it'd be called velocity!"</p><p>"-my grandpa, earlier today" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjk4wdo?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ConceptUpset4681</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"That's better than a regular dad joke. It's a grand dad joke." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjkuc30?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">VaultBoy9</a></p>
A Surprising Amount of Elevator Humor<p>"I have a joke about elevators."</p><p>"It works on so many levels......." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjk1lrv?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">M0ntgomatron</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Did you hear about the corruption at the elevator company?"</p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"It went all the way to the top." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyz64a/whats_the_best_dad_joke_you_know/gjkyjrp?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">RandomName222222222</a></p>
Cleaning up is hard enough when it's just clearing a month of dust bunnies. Can you imagine cleaning the debris left by murder, suicide and violence? I have a really great friend who used to do crime scene clean-up for a living. The pay is incredible; it starts at $55 an hour. But there is a much higher cost in mental well being. Death affects you in ways you don't always feel immediately. My friend has stories of nightmares, depression and pain after leaving scenes of horror. Why make all that money just to spend it on therapy? It takes a certain type of person.
***TRIGGER WARNING. CONTENTS ARE SENSITIVE ***Redditor u/MemegodDave wanted to hear from the people who have the stomach to come in after crime and tragedy
to try to bring back some form of normalcy to the location by asking... People who make their living out of cleaning murder scenes, accidents and the like, what is the worst thing you have experienced in your career?
Wrapped Up<p>Dad had to saran wrap a guy's intestines back into his body once.</p><p>Dude had surgery and pushed too hard on the toilet. Dude was fine, according to Dad, just holding himself together on the toilet while a group of firefighters tried to figure out why the hell they were sent instead of paramedics.</p><p><em>Update</em> When he pushed too hard he opened a scar on his torso/ab area and it all fell out onto his lap. Should have mentioned this when I wrote the post. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l48wk3/people_who_make_their_living_out_of_cleaning/gko9lq0?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">noblemile</a><span></span></p>
Flesh<p>One that stuck with me was a suicide in a bathtub, we couldn't drain the tub, so had to use a coagulant then scoop up the bloody mess into biohazard bags. Same for the toilet. Another was a suicide by gun in a basement full of boxes which was a nightmare to clean as even the smallest bit of flesh had to be found and cleaned up. The smell of the smallest piece of flesh meant the job wasn't done until it was found. </p>
Walk Away<p>Medic here, first responder to a motorcycle collision. Guy who crashed was a friend. He'd been torn in half and almost decapitated.</p><p>Had to walk away from the scene and let my driver and another crew handle it. Think about it daily. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l48wk3/people_who_make_their_living_out_of_cleaning/gko4y58?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Sabre-23</a><span></span></p>
All over the House<p>I posted this on another thread so just copy and pasted it but this was one that I had to do</p><p>Clean up after a murder. It was a rehab house for ex cons, 4 bedroom house with communal bathroom and kitchen. Sunday morning and guy A is in his room listening to music pretty loud, guy B is in the kitchen cooking his breakfast, B knocks on A's door and tells him to turn it down, there's a small argument and B returns to his breakfast and A turns his music up. So B grabs the biggest knife in the kitchen, kicks in A's door and stabs him through his left shoulder, entering by his collar bone. </p>
"ride-alongs"<p>Not a cleaner, but my brother's best friend is a police officer and I heard all about this horrible experience:</p><p>My brother's friend took him on "ride-alongs," all the time. One day, they were responding to a welfare check. This guy's neighbor saw his apartment door cracked open for several days and called the police. They went to check it out and found a college student (18-19) who had shot himself. </p>
Melt Away<p>When I was a bartender, a couple of clients told me the worst part about the job is cleaning melted bodies.</p><p>I don't know the science behind that, but from what I understand is if a body stays for a while in a certain condition of temperature and humidity, it melts. And those guys have to remove that person's remains in buckets. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l48wk3/people_who_make_their_living_out_of_cleaning/gknsqfm?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Kaynny</a><span></span></p>
Audrey<p>I had a great uncle who helped clean up the bodies left behind by hurricane Audrey in 1957 and he said that the smell persisted in his nose for weeks after. It got so bad that he went to the doctor to see if they could do anything and they clipped all of his nose hairs and the smell went away. It was explained to him that the smell had soaked into the hair but I don't claim to know the validity of that statement.</p>
Hazard<p>One of my first jobs after moving I did this, and the job that had me walking wasn't even a scene as described. We did all types of hazmat cleans and the worst was actually a couple went on vacation and came back to backed up sceptic. Think about 1 ft thick hard dried out crusty sceptic waste spread throughout the entire 1st floor of a house. Not going further into detail here. Was nasty.</p><p>Septic, not sceptic. On break and mobile, so yeah... </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l48wk3/people_who_make_their_living_out_of_cleaning/gknvzn8?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Kamenovski</a><span></span></p>
After the Crash...<p>Working for a tow truck driver that get the calls after crashes. The worst one for me was a family of 6 coming back with over 10 pizzas for a baseball team. It was a head on with a tractor trailer (18 wheeler). The ambulance took the bodies away of course, everyone died but one little guy. There was so much blood and vomit, diapers, toy dolls covered in blood, the pizza was everywhere inside of the car like 2" thick on everything and all over the road. </p>
Fresh Meat<p>Friend of mine does this.</p><p>His worst was an elderly woman who died in a bath. Skin falls off like long cooked meat. So he just saw piles of skin/flesh</p><p>God just writing this makes me gag. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l48wk3/people_who_make_their_living_out_of_cleaning/gknwqwu?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">PlagueDoc22</a><span></span></p>
We all know the telltale signs that something is making us uncomfortable. Suddenly, we begin shaking, either in our hands or knees or toes. Then, usually, sweat starts pouring out of every part of our body, making it look like we just ran through a rainstorm underneath a waterfall. Finally, we lose our regular speech functions. Everything goes out of sync and our words don't match up to what's in our minds.
What's interesting is that what usually brings about these fits of uncomfortableness differs from person to person, as evidenced by the stories below.