It's a common trope in fiction: the best friend who sleeps with their best friend's partner.
The cause for a canceled marriage on the wedding day. The end of a friendship. The end of an era.
How often does it happen? More often than you'd think. And how does it end? In all kinds of different ways.
Here were some of those answers.
The Spectre Of JealousyGiphy
She was my girlfriend in high school, the three of us used to hang out all the time. They began dating while I was away at college, we'd hang out during the summers when I came back. My best friend got colder and more distant as time passed. When she got pregnant, he flat out told me he did not want me around them anymore because he couldn't handle the thought that I had banged the mother of his child.
That was almost ten years ago. I still miss him but I respect his feelings and hope we can hang out again someday.
We all used to be roommates, they were engaged, I lived in the basement. We were like three peas in a pod. I eventually bought my own place. Then one day the engagement ended, he kicked her out, she need a place to stay. So, I slept on the couch, she slept in my bed. Worked like that for a while, I was the go-between for them. Then she and I got drunk and had sex. Now I'm out two friends. He stopped talking to me, she and I dated for a while, then she cheated. So, it probably wasn't worth it.
So... Beginning of this year I met a girl that I wasn't really interested in but she seemed really cool. Due to life circumstances... she had changed her mind about saving herself until marriage and since I took care of her while she was drunk in my apartment and stopped her from deciding that drunk she trusted me enough to... You get where that's going. Yes, it was days later and sober.
Anyway, we spent a few months hooking up but it was never an emotional bond. We were good friends with urges. The entire time she's complaining about her dates and my best friend (whom she hadn't met) is complaining about his lack of dates. Meanwhile I notice they are both looking for exactly what the other offers. It was... super obvious.
So I force them to hang out and they are inseparable now. You wanna talk about love at first sight... He knows about our history and I was told in short order that it is never to be brought up. I told him I get one joke per year and once they get married it becomes once per 5 years OR I can be the best man and bring it up in the wedding speech then never again. He said 'Deal'
I don't ever plan on bringing it up. I'm so happy for them.
We both had a conference for our respective jobs in the same city so we decided to share a hotel. The hotel we chose overbooked and they only had a room with one bed, so we took it and slept in the same bed. There were a few times when I woke up because I was spooning her or vice versa. But that was the extent of it.
Definitely Not Open To This Again
Napa Valley. Airbnb. Hot tub. Wine. Foursome.
Somehow it worked out okay. All four of us stayed friends afterwards. But that night I learned two things:
First, that I'm super uncomfortable seeing my partner being pleasured by someone else.
Second, group sex in a hot tub is disgusting.
He was fine with it to begin with. Downright encouraged us to hook up. They broke up shortly after. She and I are getting married next month. He's my best man.
My best friend/roommate dated this hot blond for about 6 months casually. Few months after they ended things I ran into her at the bar. We had way too many drinks and I went back to her place with the intention of sleeping on the couch. After about 10 mins on the couch she came out of her room naked and asked me to come to the bedroom. She was smoking hot and I was drunk so I went in and had amazing sex. When I woke up in the morning I felt super guilty for doing it. I then went home and told my friend what happened. He was pretty cool about everything and were still best friends today. The girl he dated and I slept with ended up working at the same company as us a few years later. It was sometimes awkward when the 3 of us had to work on stuff together. Even more awkward when she started dating another coworker because the 3 of us were Eskimo brothers.
All For The Best
Back when I was 19 I used to be best friends with this guy who was a solid 4-5 years older than I was. He had been dating this girl for a couple year before I'd met him but we all hung out pretty regularly (a few times a week). Eventually she got pregnant by accident and in an effort to sabotage the relationship (that's my opinion anyway) he started cheating on her. I found out about the infidelity and confronted him demanding he tell his girlfriend about it because she didn't deserve that.
Long story short he was kicked out and they had a nasty breakup, but since I'd been friends with both of them and I was disgusted that he would do something like that I started spending lots of time with her. While it started out completely platonic it quickly evolved into a romantic relationship and we both knew that we loved each other. We were married the following February and my eldest son was born that June. Been married about 5 1/2 years now and it was easily the best decision I've ever made. I love my wife and family and couldn't imagine anything else.
It Gets Weird
Don't do it, it's stupid and hurts the bro to bro relationship. Although everything seems to be back to normal, I am still a bit ashamed of myself and the situations where we three are together are sometimes a bit weirder than before. Just don't do it
It Ain't Worth The Consequences
We were all close. All in our twenties. He wanted to play gta at home all night. I would always take her home from the bar after he left early. She and I became even closer. We never had sex, but we both wanted it. I thought we could hide our emotional affair.
I couldn't. It came out at a horrible time. Drunk at a house party. Ranks up there in worst night of my life list. Woke up in the back of my jeep somewhere. I took all the blame. I was the home wrecker.
Lost every friend. Ten years i had bonded with these people. The guilt was crushing. I became a recluse for at least 6 years. Finally, i forgave myself. But i miss them all. I did my best friend wrong. He trusted me with his wife. I was lonely and stupid.
I'm sorry Bobby.
Don't do it op. Learn from my mistake.
There are just too many things we witness throughout life. And there are just some things no human should have to witness. I've lost track on the amount of things I wish I could unsee. Don't you walk away thinking... "Why God? Was that really necessary?" That one moment will almost certainly be one one the moments that you never escape. It's seared into the memory. There when our eyes are open and closed. Awake, asleep, it lingers.Redditor u/Rainbow-Pickel-Squid wanted to hear some stories to get us SHOOK by asking... [NSFW] What's the most f*cked up thing you've seen?
CAUTION!! Going forward, there is some material here not suitable for young eyes. NC-17!!
I'm easy to faint. My knees go weak at the drop of blood, mine or other's. So when I have to witness horrific life moments I try my best to flinch or look away. I just don't have the stomach for it all and my dreams are already rough enough. Let's see what everyone has had to flinch for...
The bruising and swelling of my dad's eyes after being shot in the head during a robbery. He did not make it.
We were at the lake with some friends. We were waiting at the dock for some more people to show up and we're just chilling in our boat. Well another boat came flying in and rammed the boat ramp. I noticed the people inside that boat were trying to lift a person off the floor.
I realized the people were covered in blood so I ran over to help. I jumped in the boat, and there was just pools of blood everywhere. And a dude that had gone face first into then boat propeller. I was 16 and will never forget the sound he was making, like trying to breath. His face was stripped like cut up almost perfectly. His jaw and one of his eyes dangling.
I helped them get him off the boat and onto a towel. Covered in blood, waited for an ambulance to arrive. He ended up dying about 20 min later. Legit didn't sleep for like 2 days. The worst part was there were two little girls in the boat, like maybe 6-8 years old. I can't imagine what trauma it did to them.
In the Fires
I was a firefighter for years and saw a lot, but one thing that still sticks with me is trying to perform CPR on someone who had been shot five + times. With the amount of bright red blood squirting out with every compression, we knew he was going to die but had to try something.
Bodies squished beyond recognition in car wrecks was always tough too, especially since it was often a hit and run or drunk driver in the bad wrecks.
Also, CPR on an infant is something that I never want to be involved in or see again in my life.
No one had noticed him...
Day at the lake...
Alice Lake, north of Vancouver toward Whistler, is a popular place to spend a summer day. There's a beach for those who don't mind chilly water, picnic ground, and a wooden pier. Our whole family was out there for a picnic, as were many others, enjoying Saturday in the woodland park.
Suddenly a man is striding through the the various knots of people: "We're looking for a two-year old boy who's gone missing..." The chatter and laughter stops in seconds; some people head for the forest to see if he's toddled up a trail, others to the parking lot or out in their canoe or boat to scour the shore. Nobody finds him.
Attention turns to the dock, usually crowded but now empty. RCMP members have arrived, and a man who has his diving gear in his car volunteers to search offshore; the distraught parents agree. He is in for less than a minute before his head appears. The cops speak with him. Shortly after, the boy's body is lifted from the swim ladder, covered in a sheet, and carried to a waiting ambulance.
The whole beach goes back to their day, but much subdued, many people visibly upset. Word comes that the boy had wandered through the busy pier and tried to climb down the ladder. He fell backwards, his legs hooking on the lowest rung as he went upside down and drowned.
No one had noticed him.
In the Box
The corpse of a woman who was in a metal box for 50 years.
I work at a cemetery and was helping with an exhumation. This person was in a metal casket. I was fairly new at that point and I had only seen bones so far so I wasn't expecting much different. I suppose the smell and the fact that the senior guys were wearing rain gear on a cloudless day should have clued me in on this being different. We had dug down to the casket, but here was difficulty with getting the casket out of the ground.
It was decided that we would get the doors off, remove the body, then remove the rest of the casket. For whatever reason I was the one told to get in the hole and open the doors to the casket once they were exposed. After ripping on the door to force it open I was met with a few seconds of pure, abject horror as I gazed upon the desiccated, lipless, eyeless face of a woman who was buried 50 years earlier, now 4 feet away from mine.
She still had teeth and hair, her eyes and nose had collapsed, and the rest of her exposed skin was some ghastly mix of yellow, green and blue. The bottom of the casket had a layer of yellow/green fluid that made me unable to swallow any of my saliva for the next hour without feeling the urge to throw up.
I was able to get somewhat over it and helped rig some spinal board thing with some ropes so we could slide it beneath her to lift her out of the hole (which was only 3.5 feet deep or so).
We had to prop up her upper body with a pitchfork to be able to slide the board beneath her, it was surprising how stiff and heavy she was. We got her into a temporary cardboard casket and she was loaded into the van of the coroner/funeral home people. I think the family had bought a mausoleum and that's why she was being transferred. So far that's the only really intact body that I've come across at work, people are usually dirt or bones by the time they can be disinterred.
Ok. I'm already grabbing for my vodka. I mean... helping someone with no face, from a blade propeller? I don't even know where to start. And I really don't want to. I'm taking a deep breath and then I'll try to continue...
On the Inside
Infected coronary bypass wound which ate through the sternum and rib cage, the patient had a hole in her chest and the whole heart, part of the lungs were visible. Disgusting and interesting at the same time.
Do Not Operate
A safety instruction video from where my cousin used to work. it was about how NOT to operate heavy machines. It was a security footage. A guy came up to the machine, he tripped and fell right into it. It started spinning him around, after a few seconds it ripped his legs and arms off, the floor was covered with his organs.
Happened last week. We were at a bar sitting on the patio. Hear a loud screech and then a thump. Someone drunk a-hole had hit a pedestrian going ~50 mph in this tiny, pedestrian friendly street. What makes it really messed up is that the victims legs came flying off. Like all the way off.
Didn't even land near the dude. Cops and ambulance were there real quick and we saw them loading the guy up quite clearly missing important body parts. I keep checking the news and there's been no word about his status.
I used to fix computers back in the 90s. Y'all have no idea how much messed up crap people download. Holy crap the amount of horrific violence I came across is absolutely insane, and a lot of times the stuff wasn't even hidden, they'd save to their desktop or something.
I called the cops every time I saw stuff that was actually illegal, of course, but you can't unsee that horror. It was horrible. It really messed me up.
On the Cam
That one dashcam video where a family are driving along and a pole or a plank of wood or something falls off a wagon in front of them, comes right through the windscreen impaling the mum, instantly killing her. You don't actually see anything though, it's the audio that gets you.
Edit: It was a brick.
I'm glad that's over. I can't continue on the Reddit thread and I wish you all well if you choose to. But I really hope we're all getting therapy. After reading all of that, it's proof all humans need it.
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We often find ourselves having to guess how to make things work and make things fit--in our lives, but also just in our possessions. Will these pants fit me? These shoes?
Will this screw fit my table? Will this charger fit my phone?
If everything was somehow standard, wouldn't it all be so much easier?
Here were some of those answers.
No More Vanity Sizes
Sizes for clothing.
Especially for shoes. How hard would it be to just list the sizes in centimeters (or inches if you're American)?
WHY DO WE USE STANDARD MEASUREMENTS FOR OUR CLOTHES, BUT THEY ARE DIFFERENT SIZES IN DIFFERENT BRANDS???
Calvin Klein's men's slacks: 32'' waist
Bar III men's slacks: 32'' waist
Perry Ellis slacks: 32'' waist
THEY ARE ALL DIFFERENT WAIST SIZES. WHYY?!?!?!?!
Ah Yes, Three Chilis
There's a standard for chili heat levels (the Scoville scale), but food manufacturers never use it. Instead, they use a varying number of chili icons which mean nothing at all.
It's always fun going to like a Thai restaurant in Canada and trying to figure out whether the chili icon means Thai spicy or Canadian spicy.
Ah Yes, This Could Kill Me
Household electrical voltages and sockets.
Interestingly enough, there was an attempt: since 1986, there is an international standard socket, IEC 60906-1. However, only South Africa has implemented it so far.
And it is unlikely it will ever be implemented in other countries, as the EU is even advising against it since 2017:
REFIT found that "the harmonisation of plug and socket outlet systems in Europe, by introducing changes in national wiring legislations (would have) important transitional periods (above 75 years)", and that the cost to "replace the old socket-outlets (and the corresponding plugs of the appliances being used)" was estimated at 100 billion Euro, "generating a huge environmental impact, producing some 700 000 tons of electrical waste". REFIT does not recommend harmonising the plugs and socket-outlet systems in Europe.
Can we just get a little consistency here? Please?!
After working in a grocery store, can diameters should only come in a maybe 4 sizes. And they should all stack.
But they don't. They never do.
I feel your pain. I hate those narrow jars and cans that are slightly narrower than 3 wires of the shelf so they tip over if you don't place them perfectly.
A Computer Mouse, Not A Little Baby Mouse
Modern rechargable batteries.
We spent years with standard size batteries. We are now stuck with proprietary batteries which aren't designed to be user replaceable and often dictate the life of the device.
Yes absolutely. I found this fact especially annoying when looking for a mouse. Most of the more expensive mice come with rechargeable batteries, and it seems that modern tech reviewers are claiming this is better than some standard double A.
All Standard, Yet None Standard
I worked in a hardware store long enough to learn that apparently everything is standardized.
"I need window screens."
Okay, what are your dimensions?
"It's a standard size window."
"I'm looking for a replacement ceiling fan."
Okay, do you want small blades, large blades? A modest 30" span or a robust 56"?
"Just standard size."
"Do you think this large, bulky, cumbersome commodity will fit in my vehicle?"
I don't know. How big your truck?
"It's a standard one."
protip: it's a sedan. it's always a sedan.
Welp, Here's Your Problem
Based on years of helping my Dad in his shop, doing bodywork on vehicles - fastenings. Bolts, screws. rivets, clips... the sheer amount of specialized fastenings and required tools is insane. Even the variety of types in single vehicles is excessive.
Not to mention many of them are so cheaply made that there is no reusing them.
So Many Sign Languages
Not necessarily something that should be standardised because it would affect many cultures negatively, but I've always wondered what it would be like if every country just spoke one language. Sign language should probably be standardised, but re-learning sign language for people who use it may be difficult and time-consuming
Perhaps We Need To Rethink Policing
Police responses to missing persons across the nation, and the information requirements for police reports to be filled out with specific and complete information at the first point of contact by the person reporting the missing person, regardless of the age, status, or suspected reason for disappearing.
Police should NEVER be allowed to decide a case isn't valid at the first point of contact.
A Recipe For A Lint Fire
The laundry exhaust receptacle in homes should be centered exactly eighteen inches (45.7cm) from the floor with eighteen inches (or 45.7 cm) of clearance on both sides.
The exhaust duct of a clothes dryer should be in the middle of the back of the machine, and centered eighteen inches/45.7 cm from the floor. The dryer should have adjustable feet to allow for slight errors in measurement.
Once this is done, a laundry dryer can be pushed into the wall and we won't need to craft a length of ducting to connect the two.
Just a little bit of sameness and consistency could really go a long way here.
Some things ought not be tried again.
Sure, they made sense the first time. It may have held charm, at least some sense of purpose on the second go around. But eventually, surely, an essential truth became clear: never again.
Reddit is apparently crawling with people carrying around that permanent grudge towards some thing they've done in the past.
Lucky for us, we can learn from their mistakes.
senorllama57 asked, "What is something you will never do again?"
There were, of course, plenty of people who discussed horrible jobs they've held in the past. They may have had little choice at the time, but now that it's all in the past they feel free to share how they really felt.
The Customer Always Seems To Be Wrong
"Work retail. I think every kid fresh out of high school should work a retail job for a year. It builds character." -- ProfessionalTheme415
"How did you get out!?! Lol. It's like a black hole where I work. Everyone that tries to leave comes back." -- threebillion6
A Lot Going On
"Work in a nursing home. The sights, screams and pleas Will haunt me forever." -- M_Lamora
"Honestly working in a nursing home was one of the most weird jobs I ever had. I've never been threatened so many times in my life. I once had a memory care resident ask me if I would help her jump a caregiver."
One After Another
"Work in a call center." -- Evilsmurfkiller
"Sucked the soul right out of me within a year." -- Bandana-mal
"I was at one for 2 and half years and it was not until I left I realized I had work-related depression. I was overeating, not eating, sleep deprived, slept all the time, I had such rage that would come out at times...
"I did not care what happened to me, I left because they were gonna fire me over something dumb because they just fire people for being there long. I left over a year ago, and I have not been this happy to wake up every day in years, my life is so much better now." -- UnusualLight0
Others discussed past struggles they've encountered within the romantic realm. Unfortunately, these lessons came with plenty of emotional struggle.
"Get married. It'll be 19 years this August and my marriage is my marriage. I reserve the right to have a girlfriend at some point if she passes away before I do, but she's the one and only wife, end of story."
"Ignore red flags when talking to someone I want to date. I've done it twice now, and both times sucked" -- YareYareYandere
"Listen to your gut. If something feels off, you're probably not imagining it." -- SurealGod
Don't Forget About You
"Okay first off I'm sorry if this might sound cringe :D . . . That would be hmm become too attached/codependent on a person. Whether it may be of a lover, friend, or just acquaintance."
"Idk if it's coincidence but they either end up gone one day or become total di**s when you least expect it and I'm forced to cut ties."
And some people chose to recall the things they were so certain would be fun and enjoyable, but turned out to be so not.
A Bad Ratio
"I made a super elaborate meal once. It was ... okay. Certainly not worth the effort involved." -- Astramancer_
"Take an hour to make something, only takes 15 minutes to eat. It's bullsh**." -- SurealGod
Hours and Hours
"Times Square on New Years' Eve. It was fun once, never need to do it again." -- AnswerGuy301
"I was going to answer the same thing. It seemed like it would be so much fun but now that I know what it entails — never again" -- hi_its_me
"I have never been and never understood the attraction of waiting for hours and hours in the shivering weather." -- amrodd
Think of Grease Splatters
"Prepare steaks when drunk" -- Kiaulunne
"Not for your reason, but same here. Cooked one at 2am after half a bottle of rum. Quickly ate and passed out after. Woke up around 8am dying for water and realised I left the gas stove on... So glad nothing burned down..." -- schofield101
"I will never get drunk again. Tipsy, buzzed, sure. Thats fine."
"But when I was in front of that toilet for an hour, being so weak I couldn't even sit up, having people constantly come in to check on me, worrying that I might have alcohol poisoning, that is exactly not a fun time"
So take some notes! Or maybe there were some true horrors you went through that this list seems to be lacking.
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You know what they say, “the road to hell is paved with good intentions". Because the people who have our best interests in mind typically have good intentions when they give us advice, but there's a chance that that advice can go horribly wrong.
Try not to follow the bad advice given here, because you don't want to get the results that these guys did.
The workplace can bring a cornucopia of terrible advice. Don’t follow these unless you want to get fired.
Bad jobs are usually not worth it.
Stick with a job no matter how bad it is. I stayed with a terrible job working retail, dealing with horrible customers and sexual harassment. I was told I wouldn't find anything better.
"No, no, you misunderstand. I said you wouldn't find anything better at making you feel like complete garbage."
This gets really creepy really fast.frustrated workplace GIFGiphy
"After you put in a job application, you need to call them at least once a day every day until they hire you."
Note: this did not get me hired. It got me called out by the HR person I was calling and forbidden to ever contact their facility again.
I work for a law firm that employees over 1500 people in the home office alone. Once I received a call from the building security saying, "Insert Name is here to speak with the owner." Well we are run by a committee so that's odd. Found out they just applied for a job and wanted to talk directly to the person that would potentially hire them. Told him the firm will contact them to schedule an interview. They refused to leave without "talking to the owner." Had security escort them out of the building.
This is absolutely not true.
"Sleep is for people who do not want success" great words from my uncle, it almost killed me.
Now I may be oversleeping.
Interpersonal relationships are also a big breeding ground for terrible advice. Don’t listen to any of these.
My father always tought me and my brother that "having friends is bad and in the end they will never be there for you" so everytime I told my father about my friends he would get kinda mad and give me the advice to stop talking to them.
Now I am afraid of people and have several trust issues, thanks dad.
This won’t end well.A Christmas Story GIF by filmeditorGiphy
In the fifth grade my teacher was talking about bullying, then she said "if anyone tries to bully you just agree with them." So the next time I got bullied I agreed with the bully and they bullied me more.
Dude one time I saw an anti bullying video that told the victims to just BE NICE TO THE BULLY. Like the bully was hurling insults and the victim was smiling and complimenting him. My first thought was about how much I hated the mere thought that this would work. My second thought was of how the people who came up with that method had clearly never been bullied.
When I met my now wife at the age of 19, one of my coworkers said that it's very important to start at the bottom with presents and work your way up, she still has the socks I gave her on our first anniversary on the wall over our bed as a reminder...
I'm still trying to teach my boyfriend about good presents and bad presents. Biscuits from the supermarket = bad present. Cheap unbranded laptop battery from China as my only present = bad present (and only lasted 2 months). Anything off my 7-page wishlist = good present. It's literally a list of things I want to receive as presents.
Can tell you from experience that this is a bad idea.
Had a falling out with some friends. My husband recommended I reach out to an old friend who ghosted me suddenly in a manner that induced some pretty severe abandonment trauma. Went for it anyways because "it's been so long, surely they changed". Am now experiencing the same things as last time.
When you follow bad advice, it can lead to mistakes that you just can’t come back from.
Buying a house is tricky.for sale dancing GIF by Lisa VertudachesGiphy
"Buy a home now before the prices go up!" -my FIL in 2006.
We bought in 2007 and paid $259,500 for our 1,300 sq ft house (we really couldn't afford it and had an 80/20 so we had 8% interest for one loan and 6% on the other) and in 2008 it was worth $97,000 so refinancing wasn't even an option. We watched all of our neighbors walk away or get foreclosed on but we kept paying our bills and as of this very moment our house is worth $462,000. I'm so happy we stuck it out, we both worked our @sses off and the house will be paid off in 2 years.
It worked out for us, it's a horrible idea. Especially since 1300 sq ft houses are $460+k
My heartbreaks for future generations, I honestly don't know how people are going to afford housing in the future.
It’s there for a reason.
"Never apply for any government assistance."
Cue years of suffering trying to work full-time with a painful disability. Quit a particularly terrible job, and wanted to apply for food aid until I could find another gig; a friend with lots of DHS experience recommended I apply for Social Security "just to get in the system." Turns out my disability was bad enough to get accepted the first time, which I wasn't expecting. Really could've used that support, oh, the 30+ previous years of my life.
Credit is important to have.
I was told to not get a credit card until after college. I was super fortunate to have my college paid for so I had no loans, car paid in cash, no credit card or anything to start building credit. Found myself out in the world at 22 years old with a credit score of 0.
So while a lot of this bad advice came from trusted people, oftentimes they were too misinformed to give that advice in the first place. Don't trust the word of one person--do your research, and make decisions for yourself.
It'll be way better in the long run