Single People Who Made A Marriage Pact And Went Through With It Share Their Story
One of my favorite comedies is Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion. There's just something about the undeniable chemistry between Mira Sorvino and Lisa Kudrow that warms my cold, dead heart. True story: I've actually found myself tearing up during rewatches because there's something so wholesome and nice about a movie featuring two people who just genuinely care about each other that much.
Anyway, there's a scene shortly after the film's opening in which the titular Romy and Michelle head to a club for another pointless night of trying (and failing) to pick up men. These two women live together and are involved in every aspect of each other's lives. They're practically married (and it's practically implied their former high school classmates are rather shocked that they're not). So when Romy informs her friend that the two of them might as well have sex and see where things go provided they're not married by the time they both turn 30, you understand their logic completely.
After Redditor OverMyRedBody asked the online community, "People who made a marriage pact with someone like 'If we're both single by the time we're 40, let's get married' and went through with it, how did it go?" we herd from people who actually went ahead and took the leap.
"When we were 25..."
When we were 25 one of my best friends and I decided that at 35 we'd get married if we were still single. She moved back to the same town I lived in a year later and I realized I loved her too much to wait until 35. Been together two years now, we're getting married next week!
"Some years passed."
Best friend since we were really young. Always had crushes on each other off and on. In high school, our timing was awful and we never ended up dating but we did make a marriage pact - if we were both single at 30 years old, we'd be getting married.
Some years passed. We moved away from each other, grew distant, dated other people. Long story short, we're now back in each other's lives and I'm reasonably sure we're going to make good on the pact earlier than originally anticipated.
"I made this pact..."
I made this pact with my best friend in high school. Several years down the road we ended up being together but long before the time frame was up. We will be married next year.
"There's a pretty good chance..."
We did this too. We made it four years, and three years of marriage counseling before we got divorced. Apparently being an insecure nice guy who picks up the girl of his dreams after she realizes that being hot s*** in high school ends immediately after high school breeds resenting the f*** out of your spouse, and requires more than couples' counseling to unf***.
Fifteen years and tons of therapy later, I'm happily married to a woman I respect, and I'm also capable of understanding that I was the ass****.
So yeah, life protip for anyone who is actually reading this. That "sweet" guy that is always waiting for you to be single so it can be "his turn"? There's a really good chance that he's a f****** nightmare, and any attempt at a relationship with him is not going to make him love you. It's going to make him stop masking his resentment of you with love.
Don't f****** marry a nice guy. Don't do it. I'm not sure I would have changed if it hadn't happened to me, but still, I can say for certain that I'm the only one who got out of that situation with anything positive having happened to me, and I hate that I know that, and that someone else had to suffer for me to learn this.
"My best friend growing up..."
My best friend growing up and I made this pact. We were 13-14 at the time. The pact was if we didn't marry anyone by 30, we would marry each other. A few years later, we moved it to 25. By the time we were 19-20 we started dating. We got married at 22. Just celebrated our 3rd anniversary.
"The original girl ended up staying..."
I made this pact with a girlfriend from high school (early 1990s), but much later in life.
We dated and in the 9th (me) and 10th (her) grade. We had a falling out for a bit due to my stupidity, but by the time she was graduating HS we were pretty close again. We went in very different directions but managed to stay in touch. She partied a lot and sort of drifted...waitress, bartender type stuff. I was doing responsible s***...college, military reserve, starting a civilian career. We would connect every once in a while over the years and there always seemed to be a little something special there, but for the distance.
She called me out of the blue one year (early 2000s) and tells me I need to watch the NFL draft because her boyfriend or fiance was likely to be drafted by a team in the state where she knew I lived. If all went as expected it would bring us closer (in distance) than we had been in a long time. By this time I was on my first marriage or maybe living with whom would later become my first wife.
He did get drafted and they moved to the state, just 2 hours away. I met and partied with him/them for his birthday before his rookie season started. Good dude. Big dude. She and I were strictly platonic. He ended up getting traded around the league though over the next couple of years and they ended up living a couple states away. Meanwhile, I was certainly married by this time and had deployed to Iraq.
Again, she contacts me out of the blue (maybe a MySpace message) while I was in Iraq after she happened to see me featured in an obscure trade magazine. After her and the NFL player broke up, she had taken an entry level job in my civilian career field and happened to pick up the magazine for the first time ever that month. We started connecting again, remotely, and still purely platonic.
I came home from that deployment to a marriage in ruins. She cheated. I filed for divorce. While I'm adjusting to being home after more than 18 months, and my impending marital status, I decide to fly out to visit my friend who welcomes me to stay with her a few days to help me mend. It was between Christmas and New Year and I was a bit fragile mentally. During those couple of days we connect even more and confide a lot in each other. But she has a few boyfriends (I met at least 3) and lots of drama at the time. Clearly, I have my own drama going on.
I think that was when we made the deal, after knowing each other more than 10 years. We knew we both loved each other, I'm convinced, but we both knew we needed to live (and heal) a little more before we set ourselves up for failure. I think the agreement at that time was that we would get married if neither of us were already, by 30. We talked about it regularly over the years, both assuring the other it wasn't a joke. Even her parents knew of the deal.
She moved again. Her biological father drove out to help move her across the country to the state where we were originally from. On their way through my city they stopped to visit. He stayed in a hotel. She stayed the night at my house. For the first time in what seemed like forever, we were both single and it was clear how much we loved each other. The next day she left and for the next couple of years we continued to live across the country from each other. We stayed in touch and saw each other occasionally. The agreement remained in effect but we kept moving the age because we just weren't ready.
Then two things happened. I met a girl and got notice that I would deploy again about the same time. The girl I met, I really liked. She had her s*** together and was beautiful. I wasn't trying to go overseas again attached to anyone. And, at the time she was really indecisive too.
Meanwhile, I went out to visit the original girl. Then, she came out to visit me. The new girl was still indecisive (except when the new girl was in town). The original girl had been having trouble finding work in her home state even after aesthetician school. And, she was in an abusive relationship that was really f****** her up. While she was visiting we partied a lot. In fact, that's about all she wanted to do. I didn't mind much because I was leaving soon anyway. Among the many, many bad decisions we made, was one where she agreed to house sit for me and take care of my dog while I was deployed for a year. I gave her use of my truck too. All she had to pay for was her food and gas. Sounds like the makings of a country song, right?
Now, I know what you all are thinking...but I had known this person for over 16 years. She wasn't a random. She needed help and so did I. All I wanted was for her to get a job and to help get her on her feet. I went in to it with the proper intentions. It was a gift and I expected nothing in return. There were genuinely no expectations about a future for us beyond what already was. Besides, I was conflicted...she was the beautiful party girl with baggage I had known and loved forever. But, the new girl was truly marriage material that I couldn't get a consistent read from. It didn't matter because I didn't have to decide for at least a year.
A year made all the difference. The new girl and I talked every day I was gone. She was supportive throughout the deployment in so many ways. My old friend had a few boyfriends along the way, which was genuinely fine, but I came home to my house and vehicle not in great condition. Thankfully the dog was alive, most likely because the neighbors across the street came and stole him from my house.
I took the new girl to meet my parents a month after I got home from deployment and asked her to marry me on that trip. We moved to another state for my civilian career and we'll have been married 10 years next year.
The original girl ended up staying in the town where she came to live with me and met another guy who she ended up marrying. I miss my old friend. I still love her and want the best for her. If she is living a better life today than she was 11 years ago, and I think she is, then it wasn't all for nothing. I'm just no longer a part of it.
"I on and off dated a wonderful woman..."
I on and off dated a wonderful woman for a few years. Commitment was always kind of on/off, and we both dated other people during this time, things were exacerbated by us both being single parents (mine were quite a bit older than hers, even though she was older than me). We were always quite close, when we were dating we'd talk about oru respective partners, no jealousy whatsoever.
We ended up as FWB for a while, one night speaking on MSN iirc we made a pact that if we both hit 40 and neither of us were married then we would get hitched. TBH, for quite some time I thought we actually would get married.
During one of our drier spells, I was at her house fixing her washing machine and her sister popped in to say hi. Well, not only did she look amazing, but I could tell she was checking me out, but I left it at that.
More talking online and I joke with her that I'm going to bed her sister, and she jokes back that I should try if I want, but that her sis is married and very happy.
Turns out, not as happy as everyone thought. Very abusive husband.
Very long story cut short, I've been married to her sister for 4 years now.
She did not take the news well to start off with, but that's mostly because I broke the news in such a cuntish way because I was drunk and thought it was funny.
We all get along like a house on fire, her parents (after the initial shock) have been wonderfully accepting, as has her whole family, I'm lucky to be a part of it.
"When we were both 19..."
We're married with a newborn!
When we were both 19 when we made a pact to marry each other at 35 if we're both single. We started dating at 24, married at 29, and now have a newborn at 31.
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Babysitters Share Their Craziest 'Well, This Kid Is F***ed When They Grow Up' Experiences
Babysitters and daycare professionals have access to a unique vantage. As the trusted adults left in the room with a child or children, childcare workers are the ultimate flies on the wall.
And when a childcare worker performs that role for an extended period of time--an entire career in some cases--they become privy to a whole collage of different kids who come from different homes.
Risk-Prone Personality
<p>"I used to work at a daycare and this one kid kept trying to stick his finger in the electrical sockets (the sockets were taped off so he couldn't) and would fall from pretty high places and hit his head."</p><p>"I have no clue how he's still alive but I now believe he is immortal."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsvvkp/babysitters_of_reddit_what_screams_well_this_kid/gounhzr?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Wii_wii_baget</a></p>Warning Signs
<p>"I'm not a babysitter, but a relative of mine was for a short period of time. She said this 4 or 5 year old kid would tell her about how he wanted to cut into his pets to 'see how they work.' " </p><p>"The creepy behavior continued, she brought it up to the mother who didn't seem to care. One day she arrived, and the kid brought her a handful of various teeth that weren't human, still bloody."</p><p>"That was the last time she babysat."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsvvkp/babysitters_of_reddit_what_screams_well_this_kid/gotw04x?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">A_Garbage_Account</a></p>What's Cool for Adults May Be Neglectful for Children.
<p>"When I lived in Canada and worked as a nanny, I used to do casual babysitting on the side for a number of local families. One of them, well - the parents were cool people with basically good hearts, but they should never have been parents."</p><p>"Their youngest son had the video of the original Michael Keaton/Jack Nicholson 'Batman' screened at his fourth birthday party, then 'Army of Darkness' at his fifth; the fifth birthday party was attended by the then four year old that I was nanny to, and I had to play dumb and tell my employers that I had no idea why their son was running round the garden with a Super Soaker shouting 'This is my boomstick!' " </p><p>"The parents were also ex-hippies who hauled their son and his two older sisters round in a bus following the Grateful Dead, and they bought their son a 'Can You Find Stoned Waldo' T shirt at one of the shows..."</p><p>"...when the kid wore this shirt to school before he turned six, he was made to take it off and turn it inside out before putting it back on, and when asked if he knew why he'd been told to do this replied, "'Cause there's illegal activity on it, but my dad says it's not illegal if you're sick.' "</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsvvkp/babysitters_of_reddit_what_screams_well_this_kid/goud941?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">mrwednesday33</a></p>Afraid of Home
<p>"I'm a teacher, not a babysitter. But, when kids are afraid to go home or have their parents contacted about anything, there is something going on that raises red flags (and will, possibly, leave the kid fu**ed up for years to come)."</p><p>"I had a student a few years ago who broke down in tears in front of me, begging me not to email his mom. He had cheated on a test and was so scared of his mother finding out that, after the crying, he threw up in the trash can."</p><p>"If you are <em>that</em> scared of your parents, then something is majorly wrong."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsvvkp/babysitters_of_reddit_what_screams_well_this_kid/gouquxk?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Onyx_Owl</a></p>When It's Time to Take Action
<p>"I have a friend who worked in a daycare right out of college."</p><p>"There was a baby who came in everyday dirty and hungry, so when she changed the baby's diaper at the end of the day she would write the date and time on the diaper with a sharpie."</p><p>"That baby came back the next day with the same diaper.... 12 hours later. After a few days of that she called CPS."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsvvkp/babysitters_of_reddit_what_screams_well_this_kid/govd8uc?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Chickiepie</a></p>Illustrated in Socks
<p>"Shi**y parents that doesn't care."</p><p>"I once babysat a little boy, from the time he was 1-3. His mom was busy going on vacation and partying."</p><p>"I remember as he grew he had less and less clothes, because he outgrown the ones he had. I remember he only had 1 pair of socks, because his mom would lose every fu**ing sock."</p><p>"I felt ashamed delivering him to the daycare with two different socks, all the time. It may not seem like a big deal, but look at it from a different POV: if you can't take care of a pair of socks, how are you gonna take care of a baby?"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsvvkp/babysitters_of_reddit_what_screams_well_this_kid/gotj4qy?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">SantaStoleMyCar</a></p>Sadly, Not a Priority
<p>"Honestly, parents who don't care about the kid's education, for whatever reason. Probably, the parent didn't graduate high school in the first place and doesn't place a whole lot of value in education."</p><p>"Many of those kids (source: former teacher) end up working at McDonald's or struggling to find some other work. They don't even get into trades because you have to go to some kind of school for those, and school just isn't something they can 'do.' "</p><p>"This happened with my step-daughter, who is an absolutely wonderful person but her mom never cared how she did in school or even if she went. Hence her trying to make a living now at 25 by working in day cares, which does NOT pay very well."</p><p>"She wants to do other things but they'd all require school and she just says 'I hate school.' "</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsvvkp/babysitters_of_reddit_what_screams_well_this_kid/goto7an?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">DTownForever</a></p>Nomenclature
<p>"Knew a kid whose parents thought it was funny to tell him the wrong names for things. Socks were called turtles. Put your turtles on. Sh** like this."</p><p>"Wondered why he had screaming meltdowns in daycare then kindergarten etc until he was finally able to read by himself. In grade 4. Because spelling turtle s o c k doesn't give you any head starts."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsvvkp/babysitters_of_reddit_what_screams_well_this_kid/gouuned?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">dropthemasq</a></p>A Very High Bar
<p>"Smooth time."</p><p>"I babysat a 6 year old and his parents has a few strange rules, but Smooth Time was by far the worst." </p><p>" first day while walking through the routine, I was told every evening after bath time, I was to cover this kid head to toe in petroleum jelly to 'prevent cracks in his skin"'aka dry skin."</p><p>"It happened every morning as well, but the mom or dad did it then."</p><p>"I really don't think it was anything malicious, the other rules were similarly overly-cautious like the kid had to wear shoes at all times to prevent him hurting his feet, but that kid is gonna have a hard time at his first sleepover."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsvvkp/babysitters_of_reddit_what_screams_well_this_kid/gouw5o8?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Rossthedinoguy</a></p>Reactive Parenting
<p>"Not a babysitter but had a classmate that had parents that knowingly taught him the wrong things to avoid him getting confused and eventually pulled him out of school after only a few years of him being in our school."</p><p>"They said for example that negative numbers don't actually exist, decimal points are just full stops for big numbers and so on and so forth."</p><p>"Parents also gave him waaaaay too much free reign; I live in an area of London that isn't the best for crime, i.e. you shouldn't really be letting children go to school by themselves until at least age 14-15 and if so at least with a few friends."</p><p>"By age 8 his parents allowed him to go to school by himself (he lived about 15 minutes away). He was also extremely clumsy and could be very rude."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsvvkp/babysitters_of_reddit_what_screams_well_this_kid/gotv6ok?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">[deleted]</a></p>As a married woman, I learn more and more every day what it means to be in a romantic relationship. It is a constant learning experience, and even now, four years into being together, we still are learning more and more about each other.
This isn't just our relationship. In fact, this is a universal trend in all relationships. Most mistakes that we worry are specific to our relationship are actually common to every marriage or partnership. We've all been through it, man!
Disagreements happen. It’s better to face them head-on.
<p>Trying too hard to avoid potential arguments to avoid conflict rather than hashing it out before the issue becomes too big to handle.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/noah9389/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Noah9389</a> / <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/backwoodshippy/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Backwoodshippy</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/backwoodshippy/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer"></a>This I believe is the most important. At first, I was afraid to say things sometimes because I was so afraid that she might not see me the same or something. She was doing the same.</p><p>We both learned that love is love no matter what and any disagreements we can talk about and we may feel sad or hurt or upset but we never yell at each other, we simply talk it through and if it's something we both disagree on, we compromise. We have both had our small moody feelings but we always talk things through and so long as we stay true to each other I believe it will last forever.</p><p>I learned that when two people love each other so much, they will work together and be devoted to each other no matter what. And we have a strong relationship that I believe will last forever.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/SanelliGames/" target="_blank">SanelliGames</a></p>Never ignore your problems!
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTcwNDg3Mi9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYzMzM0NDMyNH0.LRM6guAFJMI1mYLhBlHDydlZi_iLjjkdLpxlwPslXFI/img.gif?width=980" id="b1202" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="8b2e51f3df674b30f824e4f29539d40b" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="480" />GIF by In The Heights MovieGiphy<p>The most common mistakes that couples make are not actively listening to one another, taking their partner for granted, and pushing aside problems because they don't want to cause an argument.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/noah9389/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Noah9389</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/noah9389/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer"></a>Also talk about what's bothering each other.</p><p>You got to work together to solve issues that come up, you can't just ignore them. That's how people end up leaving or cheating.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/similiarintrests/" target="_blank">Similarintrests</a><br></p>Communication is key!
<p>Not being able to communicate. You need to be able to voice when you are hurt without them taking it as an attack. You need to be able to hear your partner.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/sweetsubmarines/" target="_blank">Sweetsubmarines</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/sweetsubmarines/" target="_blank"></a>100% agree. Although I do think it's important to encourage learning how to communicate. Many adults just simply don't know how to do this and I do believe it's a learnable skill.<br></p><p>Should you waste your life with a partner who has no interest in self development and learning to communicate? Probably not. Should you discuss this with your SO who has poor communication skills and create a plan to work together and improve communication? Yes!</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Iwant2go2_there/" target="_blank">Iwant2go2_there</a></p>Married life in a nutshell.
<p>That love is a feeling. You can "fall" in love with someone but it's more of a choice to be deeply connected with this one person. Over time you constantly choose to love them through the good and the bad. If you base your entire relationship on how love is a feeling, you're most likely going to "fall out of love" with them.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/I_Like_To_Hunt_Eggs/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">I_Like_To_Hunt_Eggs</a></p>DON’T do this.
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTcwNDg3OS9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY2OTE0Mjg1OH0.Z3QjQBNduyjZc816fDmk7IowLwjc4Ms9XfGk3RtBUks/img.gif?width=980" id="02582" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="6e4a6d35608f5552f011b9ab70098cae" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="270" />will ferrell elf GIFGiphy<p>Labeling your partner the source of all your happiness and joy.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/blankblotter/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Blankblotter</a></p><p>100% this. I know the phrase "how can you be happy with someone else if you're not happy alone" has become hated because some people feel like it's saying "people with depression should never be in a relationship" but it's not really about that. As someone who has been put in the position of "someone's entire happiness and joy" it is extremely stressful. Because the flipside ends up being "I'm unhappy - how can my partner fix it??" even if it's not a conscious or intentional thing.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/themoogleknight/" target="_blank">Themoogleknight</a><br></p>All of this.
<p>Getting into a relationship too fast and not getting out of the relationship fast enough (especially prior to marriage).</p><p>When you're not in an official relationship with someone yet, it's pretty easy to walk away if you see problems. But once you're officially in a relationship with someone, you're more invested in them, and you're less likely to walk away when you see problems. So it's important to spend significant time getting to know someone before you start doing things that make you feel more reluctant to walk away (whether that be kissing them, calling them your boyfriend or girlfriend, or whatever), so that you will filter out more of the bad potential partners before they become actual partners and waste more of your time causing you more pain.</p><p>Once you're already in the relationship, it's important to communicate - to express your needs clearly and assess your partner's needs with empathy and care. And if you've expressed your needs clearly but your partner still does not meet them, then it's important to end the relationship. Hanging around hoping something will suddenly change somehow is wasting your time and also wasting your partner's time. It's a kindness to both of you if you just explain that since your needs still have not been met, you're leaving now.</p>Big mistake.
<p>Assuming your partner should know what you want if they love you. I struggled early in our marriage because the women in my wife's family are big on this. We worked on it and it took a bit, but we got to the point where we would only hold each other accountable to expressed words and thoughts. It has made all the difference in the world and 27 years of marriage have been mostly happy. Also, comparisons. Never say "Well my last SO did this" or " My family always did it another way". Good way to alienate a partner.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/TheUnblinkingEye1001/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">TheUnblinkingEye1001</a></p>It will NEVER be even.
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTcwNDg5Mi9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY2OTA4NTY4NH0.AzWdWl-RiMoylscXTgAhM6sf-zeE8Mft_qcq8IyQCRA/img.gif?width=980" id="b4c0f" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="916a31072aa0e411b328d1d553349b8e" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="400" data-height="400" />Shade Reaction GIF by BounceGiphy<p>Keeping score.</p><p>"I did the dishes three times two weeks ago, you only did them once last week."</p><p>"You got a new video game this month, why didn't I get something?"</p><p>Etc</p><p>It's never going to be completely even, things ebb and flow. Both side should feel like they're getting a fair shake overall but if you keep track of every little thing (even if it's just in your head, I don't necessarily mean like an actual list) it's just going to guarantee that somebody is always "losing". It's not a competition.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/sharrrper/" target="_blank">Sharrper</a></p>Love’s not a game.
<p>Treating dating as a game you're supposed to win instead of playing just for fun of it.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/AnAverageFreak/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">AnAverageFreak</a></p><p>Or even worse, treating any communication as something you're supposed to win, instead of using it to find a solution to a problem.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Zerokx/" target="_blank">Zerokx</a><br></p>Such good advice.
<p>I've always heard "Don't go to bed angry". Don't take that advice. Most times, you're both tired and it's late. Sleep on it and continue the conversation the next day.</p><p>Don't keep score.</p><p>Accept/admit when you've screwed up and move on.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/pop_corn26/" target="_blank">Pop_corn26</a></p>There are things we accept as inherently bad – like predatory animals or unhealthy foods – because we are socialized to believe they are.
"Dangerous" Animals
<p>Most species in the animal kingdom will leave you alone if unprovoked. <br></p>Silent Predator
<p>"sharks."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5tzk/what_is_something_that_doesnt_deserve_its_bad/gpadmsi?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">RudegarWithFunnyHat<br></a></p><p>"No kidding. The oceans would be a mess without them. They kill less people per year than mosquitoes, deer and PEOPLE. They're intelligent but so different from us that the bad rep was practically unavoidable sadly"</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5tzk/what_is_something_that_doesnt_deserve_its_bad/gpax28m?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Megalon84</a><br><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5tzk/what_is_something_that_doesnt_deserve_its_bad/gpadmsi?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer"></a></p>Nothing To Hiss At
<p>"Black cats."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5tzk/what_is_something_that_doesnt_deserve_its_bad/gpb0ggl?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">tehfraginator</a></p><p>"THIS ONE. I was absolutely floored this past October when I read somewhere that some animal shelters will not allow anyone to adopt black cats for fear that people will abuse them and/or sacrifice them ritualistically because we All Know that black cats bring BAD LUCK. LOOK. We own a black cat and he's Just A Cat. About the worst thing he does is drag his ass across the carpet because he has a sticky piece of sh*t sticking to his fur!!! 🙄"</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5tzk/what_is_something_that_doesnt_deserve_its_bad/gpblwcf?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">RolandParr57</a><br></p>Creatures Of The Night
<p>"Bats. Some of the best insect control/pollination help out there (depending on species). Plus they can give you good fertilizer. 'But they carry rabies.....' you know what else can carry rabies? Raccoons, rabbits, foxes, dogs, opossums....pretty much mammals. 'But they can carry cross species diseases....' So do pigs, chicken, primates, and now with [the virus] dogs & cats. I mean don't go hug them- but they are very useful & unfortunately on the way out."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5tzk/what_is_something_that_doesnt_deserve_its_bad/gpbyuvt?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">lyme_aide</a><br></p>They Make For Good Pets
<p>"Snakes. Majority of them are harmless. I understand if you live in an area with deadly snakes. But snakes are always represented as pure evil and villainous when most are just typical reptiles going about their little snake lives. They don't want to bother you, they just want to survive the next day and reproduce."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5tzk/what_is_something_that_doesnt_deserve_its_bad/gpbga1l?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">LeafeonMaster721</a><br></p>People
<p>People can easily be persuaded by the opinions of others, especially on the internet.</p>Misunderstood?
<p>"Guy Fieri. What the heck did he ever do to anyone?"</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5tzk/what_is_something_that_doesnt_deserve_its_bad/gpboj8u?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">nokittythatsmypie</a></p><p>"Dude is a bro! He's raised millions of dollars for grants to restaurant workers who have been hammered by [the virus] closures. He does tons of charity work for food security, and even performed marriage ceremonies for 101 gay couples in honor of his sister when that was still super controversial. His signature style may be Backstreet Boy-reject, but it also makes him instantly recognizable and helps in bringing attention to good causes."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5tzk/what_is_something_that_doesnt_deserve_its_bad/gpc900a?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Speakeasy9</a><br></p>Requires Discipline And Hard Work
<p>"Fast food workers. I don't get the 'anyone can do it' argument. Through my time as a manager I've turned down applicants for not being up to our standard and watched all age groups quit because the job isn't as easy as they expected. It's a fast paced work environment with lots of memorization due to food safety standards. I've worked production, construction, warehouse, and others but working in fast food isn't easier than the others, just different."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5tzk/what_is_something_that_doesnt_deserve_its_bad/gpbwxg4?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">mynameisshelly</a><br></p>The Rocker
<p>"Joan Jett."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5tzk/what_is_something_that_doesnt_deserve_its_bad/gpaygyw?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Three_Day_Rider</a></p><p>"Yeah, but she don't give a damn about her bad reputation."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5tzk/what_is_something_that_doesnt_deserve_its_bad/gpbcbd5?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Casual-Notice</a><br></p>Health
<p>Some of the things we put in our bodies are stigmatized for various reasons. </p><p>But these people believe the following should not be blackballed. </p>Let It Flow
<p>"Tap water. People have been manipulated by bottled water companies to believe that drinking tap water is somehow bad for you. Water quality standards for tap water in most 1st world countries is extremely high."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5tzk/what_is_something_that_doesnt_deserve_its_bad/gpb5uzj?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">DougCrackheadFord</a><br></p>Culture Cuisine
<p>"Taco Bell does not give everyone diarrhea."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5tzk/what_is_something_that_doesnt_deserve_its_bad/gpad830?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">albinorhino63</a></p><p>"Honestly, my theory is that is not Taco Bell specifically, but that some people have the notion that Mexican Food gives you diarrhea. If you think about the people who say Taco Bell gives you diarrhea, it's largely the same people who think any ethnic food gives you diarrhea, black pepper is spicy, and that Taco Bell is Mexican food. They say the same thing about Indian food, for instance. South Park even had an episode where a running joke was that blood in your underwear was a natural result of eating Chipotle. So I think it's less about Taco Bell specifically than it is about people who think Taco Bell is Mexican food, and that any kind of "ethnic" food gives you the sh*ts."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5tzk/what_is_something_that_doesnt_deserve_its_bad/gpbgc4k?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">livious1</a><br></p>Chemical Reaction
<p>"Chemicals. 'Chemical-free' is marketing crap. Everything is a chemical."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5tzk/what_is_something_that_doesnt_deserve_its_bad/gpbod2s?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Kittehbombastic</a></p><p>"Bacteria automatically gets a bad rap. But most are harmless and some are even beneficial to us. There's both good bacteria and bad bacteria."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5tzk/what_is_something_that_doesnt_deserve_its_bad/gpalxvc?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">sea8cloud8</a><br></p>Fast fingers come in handy if you're an avid texter. Just make sure you proofread for typos before hitting "send."