Single People Share The Biggest Dating Struggles They Face

Single People Share The Biggest Dating Struggles They Face

Dating is hard.

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Dating in the 21st century is harder. Dating has become some sort of elevated idea of a rung on a ladder that pushes us toward our perfect fairy tale future. Of course, though, that's just not a realistic way to live our lives, and people are so quick to abandon ship with so many options available. And therefore, we have the struggle.

u/ColaMySoda wanted to hear from the pack:

Singles of Reddit, what's your biggest dating struggle right now?

Here are some of the individual struggles.

The Shallow End

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Online dating. On the surface it seems great in that you can meet people online without having to physically see each other to make contact. The trade off is the utter mountain of nonsense and completely shallow profiles.

A Life Ahead

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Getting to my late 20s, I don't want to date anyone I don't see a serious future with. Makes it way too easy to pick holes in people, probably quite unfairly.

Value

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Constantly feeling like just a party trick. I can hold a conversation and crack a witty joke or reply, but most of the time I'm silent. I feel as though if I started dating someone, when they get to know the real me they'll find an empty void. I fear overstaying my welcome in someone's life and being revealed for the true bland person I am.

Complacent

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I'm maybe a bit too comfortable being single. I got a good thing going right now. I operate on my schedule, I do what I want when I want, and I'm able to be totally self absorbed.

Its nice - so I don't put much effort (or any at all) into dating because I'm happy right now.

'The Boat'

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In my early 20s I was fat and ugly. Now I'm almost 30 and just ugly and feel like I missed the boat.

Comfort Zone

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I have no idea how to flirt or read whether women are/aren't trying to flirt with me, so I always just err on the side of caution and assume they aren't. I see it happen to others, I understand what things are done, but I just don't know how to apply it to myself.

IIIIIIIII Don't Care

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Giving a sh-t. It's easier to just come home and Netflix the evening away.

Getting Past Step One

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Almost every girl I meet has a boyfriend or husband.

Many people I meet can't answer their phone or respond to a text.

Many people cancel plans or don't even show up.

The ones that finally get past this initial stage are often busy so I can rarely see them.

Setup For Failure

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I'm attracted to instability.

If You Cain't Love Yoself

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I don't think I'm a good enough person right now to be in a healthy relationship. I'm broke, mentally ill, out of shape, and very insecure. I need to get my sh-t together before I can feel comfortable asking someone to share their life with me

Trapped In My Circle

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I don't put myself in scenarios to meet other people. I go to work (small company), go home. the only time i actually come into contact with someone new is at a store or restaurant, but that seems very inappropriate to hit on someone who HAS to be there. I can't keep a conversation going with someone on tinder (either they have one word responses and it's clear they don't want to continue or I can't think of anything to say) and anyone worth dating from high-school who is single I've already asked out and been rejected ):

Truly Not Loving Yourself

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I'm too indifferent... I just seem like a brick wall with no emotions from the outside, I dont often share any of my interests, which makes it hard for anyone to hold a conversation with me without akward silences. In a conversation, I'm way too dominating, but in person I'm extremely timid and scared of making people feel uncomfortable. Besides this, the only girls I come in contact with are my classmates and one female friend of mine. I don't ever go outside because of school, and thus don't meet new people. Also my voice is extremely annoying, I sound like I always have a bubble in my throat... I think that's about all..

The Spirit World

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The ghosting culture. The fact that we have a date set up and they just stop talking to you. Or when you've actually had a date or two and they just stop talking to you.

It's really annoying and immature, if you're not interested just tell me I'm a big boy I can take it.

It's just the culture of online dating, I can't stand online dating.

Overanalysis

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I overthink, which leads to overreacting or too much damage control, and thus causes them to think I'm insane, so they lose interest, and then the depression kicks in.

Long story short, I need to f-cking chill.

Standing Out

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Feeling like I have to entertain women on Tinder in order to stand out. I get that "Hi there. How are you?" is boring, particularly when 500 other men are in your inbox with that same opening line, but having to come up with a zinger, pun or memorable pickup line for every new woman I match with is tiring. I want to connect with someone, not dance like a trained monkey for them.

It isn't women's fault. There are just too many potential matches for them to wade through, but it is exhausting for a guy to have to constantly fight to be noticed among the horde of mindless, horny dudes.

The Ship Is Barren

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Finding men to date. I mean I live in a rural area. Single men of my taste are rare.

I'm Happy

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I just want to remain single and enjoy my life but society things that's weird, so friends and family keep trying to coerce me into a relationship. That and too many men want kids and I want no parts in that.

Shyness

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That I quite frankly don't know how to date. (almost 24 and only had 1 bf ever, who I recently broke up with)

I know I need to get out more often (I mean, I keep myself busy outside the house, but I don't meet new people) But it's difficult when you're shy

Slim Pickinz

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Being a lesbian in a town where there's like, five other gay girls, and two are exes and three are my friends.

I'd Call Them Struggles

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I don't know that you'd call them struggles, but I have a couple things that slow the process.

  1. I have an incredibly hard time reading interest. Multiple times, my female coworkers have looked at me incredulously because a pretty girl was flirting with me (according to them) and I didn't try anything back. I just immediately think "Oh she's being nice. That's a nice person" because I'm not going to be the creepy guy that hits on nice happy people that ruins their day.
  2. I have a type, and it's slim pickings where I live.
  3. I have a simple routine: I get to work at 6 am, I get to the gym at 2:30 pm, I get home at 4:30-5 pm. None of these things yield any chances to meet or talk to women I'm interested in, and I don't know where to go or what to do to meet the girls I'm interested in, and I wouldn't have the social skills if I did.

Call Me Maybe

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Online dating sucks for a billion reasons. I find myself getting inordinately frustrated with some common patterns that I see on profiles, like someone's primary picture having a Snapchat filter, or having multiple people in every photo. There're the profiles that have nothing but "Just ask!" below them, the obvious bot models with a "Call Me" number along their profile picture. The people whose entire profiles read like they have an ax to grind, rather than saying anything remotely interesting about themselves. And so, so much more...

The whole experience is truly soul-crushing.

It's Unclear

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Lack of interest really.

I never had a problem getting dates in my 20s, but I never found someone I could quite trust enough to make a life long commitment. I have gotten close a few times but breaches of trust always happened first. That and everyone seems... uncomfortable, almost afraid... these days. Its hard to get to know people when they keep themselves so shielded.

I had just entered my 30s and its getting late in the game for me. As I get older it feels like its getting increasingly more casual. That and I feel like I am to down the life progress to keep dating women in their early/mid 20s. It is starting to feel like a power issue when you have a well paid career, a, sizable home, nice car, pay for most everything, and you are seeing someone that is still going to school or freshly graduated, working those jobs looking for that break, and are a decade or so away of being able to independently live the life style you offer. Not that its a huge deal breaker, but it makes it hard to tell how much of a woman's interest is my actual person and not what I have to offer financially. Especially when it feels like they will never tell you no because they feel like they owe it to you, when you want them to be able to.

However, in my age category its usually divorced moms everywhere, not that there is anything wrong with that, but it comes with the same issues on top of that I am not looking to take care of someone else's child. It is like I missed the train to figure that out when I was just broke and all I had to offer was out going attitude and a dirty since of humor.

Or maybe I am just a snob with trust issues and should just get over it. I haven't figured it out yet.

Ghosting, Again

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I meet a girl, really like her, go out on a date and have an amazing time.

I want to see her again soon, so I'll text her and wait about a week before asking her out again. Sounds normal right?

But after the first date, even after having a blast, I get nothing, very little communication, and a total about face.

Weeks go by, and I'd have given up. Not without feeling like the most worthless human being on the planet.

Needed to get that out.

People Share Simple Mistakes That Have Actually Ended Lives

Reddit user SuffocatedByThighs asked: 'What simple mistake has ended lives?'

Not to startle any of you, but death stalks us.

We all have nightmares about diseases and murderers.

But what if, in the end, we just choke on a pickle we inhaled too fast?

Maybe instead of a pickle, a little coleslaw would have been the wiser choice.

We'll never know.

The most minute things can send us packing.

Redditor SuffocatedByThighs wanted to discuss the things that can extinguish our lives in the most basic ways, so they asked:

"What simple mistake has ended lives?"

Tripping over untied shoelaces.

It can break your neck.

TIE YOUR SHOES!!!

Off the Rocks

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"There have been too many instances of rock climbers rappelling off of the ends of their ropes, which could have been easily avoided by tying stopper knots at the ends of their ropes."

LZRDLZRD

Seconds

"I worked at a tire place for a summer and the first thing they told me was 'See that torque wrench? One mistake with this and you can kill a whole family in a matter of seconds.' I thought well, better take this thing seriously."

FrenchMicrowave

"Man for a second I was thinking 'F**k you'd have to swing that thing around fast to take out an entire family' and just bluescreened on the idea of changing a tire."

lurking_my_a**_off

How Vexing...

"THERAC-25. The world’s deadliest software error. Cost several radiation patients their lives by administering lethal amounts of radiation, and for a while, the doctors didn’t even know."

Longjumping_Event_59

"THERAC-25 suffered a particularly vexing sort of error known as a race condition. Essentially, the circuit required multiple inputs in a particular sequence, but sometimes the timing of that sequence could get thrown out of whack and it would lead to all sorts of nonsensical output."

"This is less than ideal when all you're doing is manipulating pixels, but when your software is handling radiation beams you really don't want this to happen."

"Even more vexing is that race conditions are frequently heisenbugs, which can vanish altogether when one attempts to study them. If you don't have a good idea of what's causing the error, you may never cotton on to what sort of bad input is required to test it. Under those circumstances, it's easy to write them off as imaginary, only to then find."

dancingmadkoschei

Heavy Drifting

"Leaving the stranded vehicle on the road in winter and trying to walk to get help. It happens in rural parts of our province once or twice a year and they find the body a few days later. They get disoriented and freeze."

Regina_Runner

"I got blown off a road in high winds. Heavy drifting. Less than a mile from a friend's house after I had turned around. Drifts made it impossible to complete the trip. Trying to run a mile in full blizzard conditions was a fight for my life as an in-shape 24-year-old male athlete.

"rotyag

Simple Slips

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"Almost any simple mistake can end a life if you're an anesthesiologist, that's how my grandpa died in his early 60s."

dwserps

Any second. Any moment.

Stay vigilant people.

Celibacy could be better...

Oh My Wow GIFGiphy

"Not being honest with doctors about Viagra. It has many dangerous drug interactions and can cause a lot of problems from what I’ve heard. Trust me the doctor ain’t gonna judge you guys, they have seen many more embarrassing things. And it would suck to die because you wanted to hide something just for it to be later stated in your death certificate."

The_upsetti_spagetti

Check the Numbers

"As a healthcare worker, giving the wrong amount of insulin."

UzumakiHorror

"During the first shift of my first clinical rotation in nursing school, I watched a nurse draw up insulin out of an auto-injector pen that was CLEARLY marked to specifically not do that AND she was drastically wrong about the dosage and almost killed a guy by giving him essentially like a hundred times the intended dose."

someguynamedg

Stay In

"Pulling the knife out of someone."

rcadephantom

"Yeah, I did that but it was a broken tree branch that had impaled my leg. Without even thinking I pulled it out. Blood started gushing so I pulled off my shirt and tied it into a pressure bandage. I was lucky I didn’t bleed to death."

Olddog_Newtricks2001

"Shock is an IQ reducer. I once sliced a bit off the side of my hand with a broken glass, and sort of dazedly picked off the piece of me and tried to stick it back on. It did not work."

UncannyTarotSpread

Stay Dirty

"Mixing cleaning ingredients."

Jonnysource

"My dad was trying to unclog his kitchen drain and mixed drain cleaners by adding one then adding another a few minutes later. It started bubbling and he began coughing intensely. I heard him coughing from the other room, saw what happened, and opened the nearby window to get rid of the chlorine gas he just produced."

"I forgot there was a large hive of wasps that had moved into that window and they did not appreciate this unexpected interruption. I took him to the emergency room for the gas exposure and it was tough explaining that the wasp stings were not why we were there."

CharmingTuber

Dear God

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"A friend’s husband locked himself out of their home. He tried to get in through a window that had security bars. While squeezing through his foot slipped and he essentially hung himself on the window sill."

Cokej01

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