Single People Share The Biggest Dating Struggles They Face

Single People Share The Biggest Dating Struggles They Face

Dating is hard.

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Dating in the 21st century is harder. Dating has become some sort of elevated idea of a rung on a ladder that pushes us toward our perfect fairy tale future. Of course, though, that's just not a realistic way to live our lives, and people are so quick to abandon ship with so many options available. And therefore, we have the struggle.

u/ColaMySoda wanted to hear from the pack:

Singles of Reddit, what's your biggest dating struggle right now?

Here are some of the individual struggles.

The Shallow End

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Online dating. On the surface it seems great in that you can meet people online without having to physically see each other to make contact. The trade off is the utter mountain of nonsense and completely shallow profiles.

A Life Ahead

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Getting to my late 20s, I don't want to date anyone I don't see a serious future with. Makes it way too easy to pick holes in people, probably quite unfairly.

Value

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Constantly feeling like just a party trick. I can hold a conversation and crack a witty joke or reply, but most of the time I'm silent. I feel as though if I started dating someone, when they get to know the real me they'll find an empty void. I fear overstaying my welcome in someone's life and being revealed for the true bland person I am.

Complacent

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I'm maybe a bit too comfortable being single. I got a good thing going right now. I operate on my schedule, I do what I want when I want, and I'm able to be totally self absorbed.

Its nice - so I don't put much effort (or any at all) into dating because I'm happy right now.

'The Boat'

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In my early 20s I was fat and ugly. Now I'm almost 30 and just ugly and feel like I missed the boat.

Comfort Zone

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I have no idea how to flirt or read whether women are/aren't trying to flirt with me, so I always just err on the side of caution and assume they aren't. I see it happen to others, I understand what things are done, but I just don't know how to apply it to myself.

IIIIIIIII Don't Care

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Giving a sh-t. It's easier to just come home and Netflix the evening away.

Getting Past Step One

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Almost every girl I meet has a boyfriend or husband.

Many people I meet can't answer their phone or respond to a text.

Many people cancel plans or don't even show up.

The ones that finally get past this initial stage are often busy so I can rarely see them.

Setup For Failure

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I'm attracted to instability.

If You Cain't Love Yoself

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I don't think I'm a good enough person right now to be in a healthy relationship. I'm broke, mentally ill, out of shape, and very insecure. I need to get my sh-t together before I can feel comfortable asking someone to share their life with me

Trapped In My Circle

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I don't put myself in scenarios to meet other people. I go to work (small company), go home. the only time i actually come into contact with someone new is at a store or restaurant, but that seems very inappropriate to hit on someone who HAS to be there. I can't keep a conversation going with someone on tinder (either they have one word responses and it's clear they don't want to continue or I can't think of anything to say) and anyone worth dating from high-school who is single I've already asked out and been rejected ):

Truly Not Loving Yourself

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I'm too indifferent... I just seem like a brick wall with no emotions from the outside, I dont often share any of my interests, which makes it hard for anyone to hold a conversation with me without akward silences. In a conversation, I'm way too dominating, but in person I'm extremely timid and scared of making people feel uncomfortable. Besides this, the only girls I come in contact with are my classmates and one female friend of mine. I don't ever go outside because of school, and thus don't meet new people. Also my voice is extremely annoying, I sound like I always have a bubble in my throat... I think that's about all..

The Spirit World

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The ghosting culture. The fact that we have a date set up and they just stop talking to you. Or when you've actually had a date or two and they just stop talking to you.

It's really annoying and immature, if you're not interested just tell me I'm a big boy I can take it.

It's just the culture of online dating, I can't stand online dating.

Overanalysis

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I overthink, which leads to overreacting or too much damage control, and thus causes them to think I'm insane, so they lose interest, and then the depression kicks in.

Long story short, I need to f-cking chill.

Standing Out

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Feeling like I have to entertain women on Tinder in order to stand out. I get that "Hi there. How are you?" is boring, particularly when 500 other men are in your inbox with that same opening line, but having to come up with a zinger, pun or memorable pickup line for every new woman I match with is tiring. I want to connect with someone, not dance like a trained monkey for them.

It isn't women's fault. There are just too many potential matches for them to wade through, but it is exhausting for a guy to have to constantly fight to be noticed among the horde of mindless, horny dudes.

The Ship Is Barren

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Finding men to date. I mean I live in a rural area. Single men of my taste are rare.

I'm Happy

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I just want to remain single and enjoy my life but society things that's weird, so friends and family keep trying to coerce me into a relationship. That and too many men want kids and I want no parts in that.

Shyness

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That I quite frankly don't know how to date. (almost 24 and only had 1 bf ever, who I recently broke up with)

I know I need to get out more often (I mean, I keep myself busy outside the house, but I don't meet new people) But it's difficult when you're shy

Slim Pickinz

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Being a lesbian in a town where there's like, five other gay girls, and two are exes and three are my friends.

I'd Call Them Struggles

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I don't know that you'd call them struggles, but I have a couple things that slow the process.

  1. I have an incredibly hard time reading interest. Multiple times, my female coworkers have looked at me incredulously because a pretty girl was flirting with me (according to them) and I didn't try anything back. I just immediately think "Oh she's being nice. That's a nice person" because I'm not going to be the creepy guy that hits on nice happy people that ruins their day.
  2. I have a type, and it's slim pickings where I live.
  3. I have a simple routine: I get to work at 6 am, I get to the gym at 2:30 pm, I get home at 4:30-5 pm. None of these things yield any chances to meet or talk to women I'm interested in, and I don't know where to go or what to do to meet the girls I'm interested in, and I wouldn't have the social skills if I did.

Call Me Maybe

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Online dating sucks for a billion reasons. I find myself getting inordinately frustrated with some common patterns that I see on profiles, like someone's primary picture having a Snapchat filter, or having multiple people in every photo. There're the profiles that have nothing but "Just ask!" below them, the obvious bot models with a "Call Me" number along their profile picture. The people whose entire profiles read like they have an ax to grind, rather than saying anything remotely interesting about themselves. And so, so much more...

The whole experience is truly soul-crushing.

It's Unclear

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Lack of interest really.

I never had a problem getting dates in my 20s, but I never found someone I could quite trust enough to make a life long commitment. I have gotten close a few times but breaches of trust always happened first. That and everyone seems... uncomfortable, almost afraid... these days. Its hard to get to know people when they keep themselves so shielded.

I had just entered my 30s and its getting late in the game for me. As I get older it feels like its getting increasingly more casual. That and I feel like I am to down the life progress to keep dating women in their early/mid 20s. It is starting to feel like a power issue when you have a well paid career, a, sizable home, nice car, pay for most everything, and you are seeing someone that is still going to school or freshly graduated, working those jobs looking for that break, and are a decade or so away of being able to independently live the life style you offer. Not that its a huge deal breaker, but it makes it hard to tell how much of a woman's interest is my actual person and not what I have to offer financially. Especially when it feels like they will never tell you no because they feel like they owe it to you, when you want them to be able to.

However, in my age category its usually divorced moms everywhere, not that there is anything wrong with that, but it comes with the same issues on top of that I am not looking to take care of someone else's child. It is like I missed the train to figure that out when I was just broke and all I had to offer was out going attitude and a dirty since of humor.

Or maybe I am just a snob with trust issues and should just get over it. I haven't figured it out yet.

Ghosting, Again

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I meet a girl, really like her, go out on a date and have an amazing time.

I want to see her again soon, so I'll text her and wait about a week before asking her out again. Sounds normal right?

But after the first date, even after having a blast, I get nothing, very little communication, and a total about face.

Weeks go by, and I'd have given up. Not without feeling like the most worthless human being on the planet.

Needed to get that out.

Companies That Shamelessly Make Terrible Products

Reddit user ricinonthecake asked: 'what companies shamelessly make sh*t products, year after year?'

Be it for clothes, household appliances, or food, sometimes you know you can be one hundred percent confident with certain brands or companies when shopping that you will be getting a quality product.

Unfortunately, this goes both ways.

Some companies have a reputation for exclusively selling and manufacturing low-quality products.

One would think that these companies might reflect on poor sales and bad customer feedback, and attempt to improve their brand with each passing year.

Unfortunately, even if they still get items on the shelf, reviews on Amazon and elsewhere still seem to remain at two stars or less.

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The paranormal is among us at all times.

The ghosts, the spirits, they "live" in their death.

Sometimes a coincidence or a phenomenon is something more.

Leftover essences have been seen and recorded.

Now not everybody is cool with every encounter.

I still have shivers depending on the mood.

But when will we all be on the same page and start living 'Beetlejuice?'

Day-OH!

That could help with the spookiness of it all.

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white police car in wall
Photo by Conor Samuel on Unsplash

Everyone does stupid things, and it's not limited to when you're young either.

When I was 10, my best friend and I snuck out of her house in the middle of the night and hitchhiked to Tukery Hill for ice cream. I can't even count all the ways that could've gone wrong.

Eight years later, my friend and I drove his new car on the sheets of ice on our college campus, trying to see how fast we could go.

The tires skidded on the ice several times, and back then, we thought it was fun.

The stupidity spurred on by impulsivity doesn't ever truly go away.

Redditors can attest to that, as they are sharing what may be the stupidest things they've ever done.

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Customer service jobs are not for the faint of heart.

Dealing with people at their angriest and rudest does not breed a positive work environment.

Customer service can be a downright toxic job.

And if it's not the customers setting your spirit on fire, it's the companies themselves.

Some companies seem to revel in creating discontent.

That's why these types of jobs have such high turnover.

Redditor Psychological-Name15 wanted the customer service reps out there to give us some truths, so they asked:

"Customer service workers of Reddit, what secret can you reveal from your former company?"

I want to know about the inner workings of Comcast!!

I loathe them!

Oh Dear

Jennifer Lopez Smh GIF by American IdolGiphy

I used to work in tech support for Citi Bank. The people working there are not intelligent. My favorite interaction went like this..."

"Banker - How do I type the upside down I?"

"Me - Ma'am, that's an exclamation point."

slappy_mcslapenstein

The Crappy People

"In every CS job I’ve ever had: we will bend over backward to help a nice person. We will expedite any complaint, give maximum compensation, and harass other areas of the business for you."

"We will do the absolute bare minimum to help a shi**y person and if you’re really bad, we will do everything in our power to make sure you get nothing but what you’re legally entitled to and it will be a process to get that."

11catsinahumansuit

"I don’t work in CS but 100% the same for us in IT a nice person will get new stuff while a shi**y person will get questionable secondhand crap that will take 12 months to fix! I will make sure that you wait as long as humanely possible to have anything fixed!"

Sharp-Demand-6614

Go to Holiday Inn

"If you ask for a supervisor calling Marriott you will just get another person who is not a supervisor, but say they are."

cryptnificent

"Yep. I've seen this done numerous times across multiple industries. Usually, it only involves an actual sup if it's a genuine problem or if they want to make a point."

"The last job I had was in towing junk cars. Two of the inside buyers, one male, and one female, would bounce that sup card around constantly. Idk how no one ever put it together. We'd get repeat callers and repeat sellers so I don't know."

ItsBobFromLumbridge

Heartless

"Worked at a contracted call center for Centrelink. The manager told us to deny as many emergency payments as possible and they would back us no matter what. They were actively working towards a culture that despised the callers and churned staff to get heartless right-wingers who hated the poor."

Rizza1122

"I feel ya. My best mate is a quadriplegic. Centrelink denied his disability pension because he wasn’t disabled enough."

Less-Storage

Go to Home Depot

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"I worked at Lowes. I didn't know anything about anything in the electrical department yet that's where they put me without any training."

Eattherich187

Not training people is not just a Lowes thing.

There are too many unqualified people doing too many things.

Switcharoo

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"Can confirm it's an unwritten policy for deli departments in Coles Supermarkets to change the written expiry dates on their tickets so they can sell out-of-code products at full price."

REDDIT

A Little Sunshine

"I worked at a call center for the billing department of a major internet and cable service provider. We were authorized to give up to $90 credit per customer on their bill but only as a last resort. Always remember to be nice to all customer service workers. You never know just how much they can help with a friendly attitude."

Axel_Dunce

"Former call center employee here. Highly accurate. Use your manners, and well fix your issue. Anything else, just makes us want to take longer, and you won't get a credit. Just because we are authorized, doesn't mean you'll get the credit for being an a**hat. haha. I've been verbally abused a few times for asking them not to swear at me. Lol."

Ok-Ad-7247

LELU

"I worked for a major telco company for many years in something called a ‘LELU’ which stands for Law Enforcement Liaison Unit. This 'unit' is pretty self-explanatory, but it essentially is a team who worked directly with the police/FEDS to monitor people's information for things such as obtaining communications history of call logs, SMS loss, etc."

"However, most importantly, the software we used, we as agents could directly see all your SMS texts, including MMS and their explicit imagery of whatever you were sending. This would include sexting, naked images, family photos, and everything. There were instances where people abused this position by stalking or 'monitoring' their SO’s comings and going’s."

MidniteMischief

Cookies!!

"I worked at a cafe chain called 'The Cookie Man,' 95% of their cookies arrived in cardboard boxes layered with bubble wrap. The last 5% arrived as pre-made dough that we would bake on-site to make the place smell like fresh cookies."

"I also worked at a cupcake shop. It's literally just packet mix that you add eggs and oil to before baking/piping pre-made icing onto. Don't waste your money on these places, 90% of these chain shops are the same and most are severely underpaying their workers (this is for Australia btw). Just purchase some packet mix from the supermarket and call it a day."

Frequent-Selection91

Look in the Back

"I was a Store Manager for a very large grocery chain and I can tell you that 95% of the time when customers complain to the manager, we may be professional and show empathy, and even resolve the problem."

"But then we usually just make fun of or talk crap about the person who complained to the other employees. And when a customer is really rude when we go 'look in the back' for something, we legit just stand around and talk to other employees, and make zero effort to look for the item."

A_Womans_Thoughts

From the Box

Kaitlin Olson Brunch GIF by The MickGiphy

"I once worked at 'the area's premiere day spa'; the mimosas were made with Sunny D and not real orange juice, and the wines came out of a box."

SailorVenus23

Sunny D and champagne?!?!

What in the name of Lucifer?

Who does that?!

Do you have anything to add? Let us know in the comments below.