Single People Reveal Their Most Embarrassing First Date Nightmare Stories
In the movies, first dates are full of giddiness, flowers and giggles. But let's be real for a minute here. First dates are awful. You're nervous about it all day, you stress about what to wear, your eyeliner is never even, and if there was ever a time to get a cold sore, this is it. And that's just the good first dates. The bad ones are the literal worst. You ever been on a first date so bad you're embarrassed for everyone involved; yourself included? We have. One Reddit user was clearly feeling that first date pain when they asked:
We cringed our way through hundreds of responses and pulled our favorites for you here. It's about to get awkward and infuriating up in here.
Oh. Well, That'll Do It.
She never responded to any of my messages after our first date. Definitely not getting a second date after that.
Started flirting with a pair of guys at the bar while I'm standing right next to her. At first I thought she was just friendly and outgoing, but it quickly became clear that wasn't the case. To this day I'm honestly not sure if she was just trying to end the date or make me jealous (which seems like an odd strategy for someone you're already on a date with), but if the former... it worked.
I puked on girl's leg at a bar before. She had on nice shoes too. We laughed about it an hour later though. But yeah, I s--- the bed on that one. Cool girl, she even drove me home.
My mate had one; she didn't puke on him, but she did leave a fresh log in the bed before she bailed.
The Fake Accent
Once went out with a girl who affected a fake cockney accent when i picked her up. I'd known her a little while so knew it was fake.
It was cute and funny at first but then got real annoying.
Then it got downright weird.
She kept it up the entire night to the point where when i dropped her off she said "G'nite love, let's do this again guvna, cheerio!"
Never called her again.
He told me he wouldn't take his bandanna off, because it was keeping his psychological horns in, he could cure cancer by making his body acidic and eating apricot kernels, he could reverse aging by slowing down his energy then use it to reverse time around himself, and he was a white Australian "spiritual guide" whose biggest goal in life was to "restore Africa" by bringing spirituality back.
"Hey Um How Do You Take Off A Bra?"
On our first date he drove me to his grandparent's house, they obviously weren't expecting company because the grandma was wearing a skimpy nightgown and the grandpa was wearing a short silk kimono. They were obviously embarrassed to have us over. He then said he had to go to the bathroom and left me in the entryway with his grandparents for a solid 20 minutes. Then he finally came back (thank God) and took me upstairs where he sat down at on a couch and motioned for me to sit by him. He then makes eyes contact with me- mind you this is before we've even kissed or held hands- and says "Hey um how do you take off a bra?" Yeah so that was the end of that.
He asked where I wanted to eat of two choices. After I picked one, he decided for me that I actually wanted the other and told me so while pulling into the parking lot of the one I hadn't chosen. He asked what I wanted to eat and then ordered something different for me. Then he told me he wanted to talk about why my personal thoughts on the age of the Earth were wrong. I told him I didnt want to talk about it. He went on a rant on what he assumed my ideas were and why they were wrong. The best part was the drive home--he asked if I considered myself an introvert or extrovert. There are few things about myself of which I am more sure than that I am an introvert. He wouldn't believe my answer, and when I (very politely) reasserted that I was introverted, he told me that "you are an extrovert who just thinks she's an introvert." I was over his steamrolling bullshit and said once more that I was not an extrovert. He started yelling, and slammed both hands on the steering wheel to punctuate "You. Are. An. Extrovert!" Moral of the story is always to have your own transportation, even if it is a setup by a friend.
White People Deserve American Soil
He told me immigration was dumb and that white people deserved the American soil.
I'm Asian, so I don't know if he thought I was white or.. I don't know.
The Open Mouthed Chewer
Chewed with their mouth open the entire time. I could see the food being slowly broken down for consumption in his big chomper. Not just open when chewing but would also talk with his mouth full of food and it would spray onto me from across the table. He also slurped his beverage. Like who taught you to eat brah?
WoW That's Awkward
I hadn't played World of Warcraft in a few years and ended up talking to a girl that used to play. While we were on the subject of games, my inner sperg came out. Thirty minutes later I took a breath. Still cringe over that to this day.
He told me that the reason he dropped out of college 3 times was because he got lazy and didn't like to try hard to achieve anything. I didn't want to get involved with someone with so little potential.
Pizza Isn't That Good.
He was a manager at a national pizza chain. That's all he wanted to talk about.....pizza. How it was made, what day the truck comes in, how much each of the ingredients cost, etc. I tried to change the subject several times. I tried to ask him about himself but he seemed to have no identity outside of pizza at all. I tried to talk about several other things and he just wanted to talk about pizza. I just couldn't deal with it again. He was a nice enough guy- just not for me.
Dude made fun of Muslims right there in front of me, loud and clear in a crowded restaurant. Pretty embarrassing.
Don't Talk About His Mom
I was terrible and tried to tell him about his relationship with his mother. He texted me 6 months later to see if I wanted to try again.
Not my story but there was a guy on Reddit who told a story about taking a chick out on date. They went to get dinner. She order spaghetti and then proceeded to put a fork in each hand and DUAL WIELDED the forks as she gobbled the spaghetti down.
He was 20 Minutes late, then took over the conversation. I think the conversation split was 80/20. His topics: How much money he makes, how much MORE money he will make in the future, how AWESOME his job his, how great his fraternity is, his views on foreigners. He ESPECIALLY explained to me how he believes that due to genetics black people can never be as smart as white people. Henceforth it is only logical that the living conditions in Africa are worse than in Europe and that they are only a few black people "on top".
I am black.
A Little Overdressed
I had a guy come and pick me up in a full tuxedo with a cummerbund and coat tails. I was wearing nice jeans and a cute top. We looked absolutely f------- ridiculous. It was very embarrassing. People were staring, thinking that someone must have lost a bet or something. It was just dinner at trendy restaurant, and then drinks at a dive bar. There was no opera or ballet.
I met a guy at a club and we went on a mall date a few days later. He spent the entire time talking about how his family members are either abusive or psychotic. I tried to be supportive and stuff but some of the stuff he was saying was a little strange... Especially for a first date.
I do hope that things turned out for him and that he found someone (like a professional) to help. I was just a little weirded out but hopefully he got to try again with someone else.
The date was with a group of friends at a restaurant because they tried to set us up. A lady with cartoonishly large breasts walked by and he pointed it out. They were big enough to where someone might feel the need to point them out, so I didn't judge him on that. He then looked straight down at my breasts and asked "are those real?" I said "yep completely real" and he proceeded to "honk" them. I was so embarrassed! It would have been bad alone, but imagine in front of a group of people. He also kept inviting me over to "chill in his hot tub" almost like he was bragging about having one. The dude reminded me of a stereotypical 70's douche bag.