Single People Reveal Their Definition Of Their "Perfect" Spouse


When it comes to finding a partner, it's the little things that count. There are so many ways a relationship can be perfect. All it takes is the right person at the right time.

Leischen asked: Single Men/women on reddit : What's your definition of an ideal wife/husband?

Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.

Opposites don't always attract.

Based on experience I want someone who's not my opposite. I want to be with someone who would love to do things I do and love because we are same in many ways, I think it wouldn't be hard for both of us to understand and adjust with each other.


With perfect love comes perfect loss.

I never really believed in soulmates until my wife died at 37 years old. We were married for 8 years and dated 4 years before that. Needless to say, when she died, I was crushed. In looking back and dating again, I realized that although she had medical issues, we had a perfect marriage. There was no fighting or harsh words between us. We knew each other and put each other's needs before our own. We talked; we shared, we trusted. I put her happiness before my own, and she did the same for me. We were considerate of each others goals, dreams, and feelings. I would go back in time and do it all over again, even if it still ended the same way. Our situation was never perfect or ideal, but we were perfect together.


A person worth the deepest of connections.

Someone that loves you for the person you are, not the one you could be. Someone that really tries to get to know your real self.

Edit: I meant people that see some aspects of a person as "errors" that can be removed or changed until that person is how they want them to be. I think every aspect of a person is important and hobbies, friends, personal tastes or behaviors truly make out who someone is.

Of course everyone can improve, but it should be what that person really wants to improve on, not how others think. Except maybe drugs or other harmful behaviors.


Apparently online dating works. Blarg.

We don't tell people this often, but my wife and I met online and it worked out great for us. I was on a ship for a couple of months, she messaged me early in the trip, and we had long conversations every night. Any kind of sexual attraction or physical communication was on hold until we'd known each other two months. There was no stress or obsession with getting into bed together and there was no risk at being vulnerable or letting each other know our inner selves.

We're both in our thirties and pretty experienced with relationships, both divorced, and neither of us had ever been in one nearly this whole and complete.

We don't tell people that we met online; we have a different story we tell people because it still sounds weird to a lot of people. But I have two little sisters who also met their husbands online and are very happily married. I'm a big advocate. Just be honest and patient.


Mutual willingness to be needed.

Someone who's not afraid to rely on me when they need to and I can rely on when I need. Someone to get excited about doing new things with. Someone with whom I can joke, flirt but also have interesting discussion with. Someone who would appreciate -without sarcasm- my small meaningless victories as much as I would appreciate theirs. Someone who would be a source of motivation and creativity, and would find the same support in me.

An equal yet my better half, more together than the sum of our parts.

Edit: Well this blew up in the span of 5 hours! I'm really happy I was able to touch so many of you! Thanks for the messages of support, don't worry, I may be single but I'm not lonely. I'm just a strange beast to tame ;). Special thanks to the two of you who felt the need to correct the one grammar mistake I made, the world need people down to Earth like you to keep the focus on what really matters so the rest of us can lose themselves in poetry.


Oh hey, transactional relationship.

Honestly first woman to tell me that we're getting married I'll just accept because I know she really wants me.....

Or my green card but still.


This is actually super important. 

Someone who I can share comfortable silence with.


A lot of people, especially younger people who haven't experienced much yet, don't realize that a long term partnership isn't what you do on your dates or the romantic relationship stuff. It's living your regular ole life you already have, with someone by your side living theirs.

We see movies with grand gestures and the romantic stuff going on 24-7.. but real life is having to do the dishes or clean the toilets, having to go to bed at different times sometimes, reading a book while your partner watches the game since you're not interested in it, etc.



I realize that I need a man who has common sense, sense of responsibility and sense of humor. These three are so important for a relationship to make sense.


Find a partner in crime.

Honestly dude, I just want someone to miss me and love me even though I do dumb sh*t sometimes.



I've recently started working night shifts and came home one morning to find my dressing gown curled up on my side of the bed. When I asked my bf about it he said he slept with it, as he missed me and couldn't get to sleep without it, as it smelled like me. I honestly melted.


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