Once you're old enough you quickly learn that "happily ever after" is basically a myth.

All those fairytales, books, movies, plays, music... they're all propaganda funded by the maniacal minds at Hallmark. Ok, maybe I'm exaggerating, but not by much.

I've learned that there is great power and purity in being single. And choosing to stay single isn't the taboo it use to be.

Love can ruin you. And people can be selfish and crazy. Finding the right "one" isn't worth one's sanity.

In the immortal words of the late, great Ms. Whitney Houston... "I'd rather be alone than unhappy."

Redditor Vast-Paint-4184 wanted to discuss all the reasons why many of us steer clear of the search for the four letter word... L**E. They asked:

"What is keeping you from dating?"

Right now, Covid is my main reason for staying out of the hunt. No thank you. I've avoided it for this long, I can wait a little longer.

Place and Time

Game Love GIF by jasonch Giphy

"I currently live at home and have tried it a few times, but it's just so weird trying to date while living in my parent's house. I'm moving out on Saturday, so things might change?" ~ drpepperzerodrinker

Moving On

"The girl I was into isn't into me and now I'm a sad sack of potatoes waiting for myself to move on." ~ clarkkentisnotsupes

"Unfortunately you may never move on that way. Try meditating on it, ask yourself why it upsets you so much, why you care. You might learn something about yourself." ~ PvtSmuffler

"It's worth a shot I guess. It upsets me cause I care. I care because I loved someone who doesn't feel the same way, which is also fine. It's not the first time, might not be the last time either. I truly wish for her the best the world has to offer. It sucks now, but I trust it won't tomorrow." ~ clarkkentisnotsupes


"Few opportunities to meet others and not much disposable income." ~ JustMeStopping

"By (30 cishet M here) To add to this but does anyone else get to feeling that everyone else around your age group basically left and you don't consider any younger or too much older than you w/out feeling skeevy?" ~ Polaris271

"They didn't so much leave as they got busy in their own relationships and families. Pretty much every person I meet around my own age is already in a long-term relationship (usually cohabitating). The rare ones who are not tend to either be newly single parents or nuts." ~ JustMeStoppingBy

Flaws and all...

"I just don't think I'm worthy of becoming someone else's significant other. Too flawed, too self-conscious." ~ NetworkLoveLine

"This is part of a concept I see as people try to start from a place of perfection and subtract from there. The real way should be (and I know this is a tough paradigm and not practiced much, if at all) to build to on one's positives and minimize the negatives."

"We're all flawed in some way, shape or form. Some of my wife's flaws are what I like best about her. Charming in lots of ways.Some others drive me nuts, but that Hollywood version of true love is something that rarely happens. And the fact is, it changes greatly over time."

"But she helps me overcome my person flaws and I help her. We're not even close to perfect and the relationship takes work and understanding.In short don't worry about what you aren't and focus on what you bring. It's good to be self aware but keep to the positive." ~ Stay-Thirsty


Hungry Episode 11 GIF by The Simpsons Giphy

"I'm too dumb for social things." ~ BurningPenguin

All solid reasons; except the dumb one, don't call yourself dumb. You're smart for avoiding disaster, start thinking there.


Bored Episode 15 GIF by The Simpsons Giphy

"I don't like meeting strangers and I don't want to date anyone I know." ~ Stormallthetime

Lack of Potential

"The fact that I have nothing to offer for my potential date. I would be gatekept on dating apps and all of my friends have already run out of candidates for them to introduce me. I should have just picked one when I was flooded with blind dates and arranged marriage meetings back in the days." ~ ExSogazu

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Have you ever worked one of those jobs that paid you to kinda sit there? If you have, you know the joy that comes with watching the entirety of Breaking Bad ...

The Past

"Still not being fully over my last breakup, being busy all the time and having an unorganized sleep schedule, my depression and tendency to isolate myself, my self hatred and difficulty to accept that anyone would actually want to be with me if they knew me for who I was, my social anxiety and awkwardness, there's a lot of reasons I guess but I'll stop there." ~ CandelaBelen

Pounds of Issues...

"My weight, I've been trying to lose it for the last 3 years but it's really hard, I've only messed up my knees and elbows in the process and gotten bigger. Also I don't look good in any pictures I take, and I don't have friends to take pictures of me since they're all married and we don't do fun stuff together anymore, so that makes dating apps difficult." ~ Affectionate_Bass488


The Joker GIF Giphy

"My personality. Joking. I honestly ask myself that every day." ~ bigigigal

"oh well"

"I remember in the later years of me being single, I'd asked a girl out and she said she had a bf. I just thought 'oh well.' I know I have a lot to offer as a partner in a relationship, she was very pretty and loved my jokes but just didn't work out. I just smiled and said 'no worries, it was nice to see you again!' and put her out of my mind. Went back to focusing on me, there will be another opportunity with someone else. (There was)." ~ illmatic2112

A Bad 3

Seth Meyers Whatever GIF by Late Night with Seth Meyers Giphy

"I've had 3 different women cancel a first date in the past 10 days. So I'm not sure what is keeping me from dating but it's getting real old real quick." ~ Half-Mayonnaise

"I'd love to see reddit blame this on you somehow." ~ andtheywontstopcomin

It's Me...

"I recognize that I'm a pretty selfish person, when it comes down to it. And I prefer spending time alone. I'm always going to put myself first. I don't see any reason to put someone else through having to deal with someone like me." ~ samuelgato

Off Course

"Being unemployed, in debt & back living with my parents. Would be different if I was working so I could at least have a plan for tackling my student loans & moving out." ~ Stefie25

Social Issues

"I don't want to put my photos and life online. Low confidence. Not much of a social life. The occasional woman I meet who I find attractive is either taken or not into me." ~ oblongunreal

Broken Parts

"Schizophrenic and not wanting to burden a partner with that, fixed income therefore can't afford it, knowing that a relationship isn't a mechanic shop that fixes broken people, not wanting to have a kid and pass on the ugly or the crazy." ~ codename_pariah


Parks And Recreation Nbc GIF by HULU Giphy

"The idea of having someone close to me physically and emotionally is repulsive. my parents don’t really get along and, now I feel that i will become like them if I am in a relationship. I know I will no be able to give them the level of affection and comfort as them because I will be emotionally unavailable for them." ~ Alexmorte

Lacking Options

"Being transgender doesn’t help my potential date pool (after I pick through the 'bicurious,' chasers and fetishizers). Also it’s just very difficult to find someone I vibe with who is near my age, a tiny bit responsible, a tiny bit attractive, understands consent and boundaries, and isn’t interested in using me as a sex experiment. I also prefer people who aren’t addicted to hard drugs or people who participate in violent crimes." ~ doodlearm

Being my Lowest

"I gained 100lb this year after starting my weight loss journey 2 years ago, losing 50lbs, and then quitting my workouts and dieting. I’m working towards drop this weight and having a better physique. For now though I’m not focused on women until I’m back at my lowest weight." ~ poluting

Marriage goes sour?

"We just cannot rationalize it. Like any functional human we have a base desire to have sex but we realize that’s just biology telling us to procreate. Introduce another person to the mix that is time, money, and energy that could be used for anything else. Also dating is a natural precursor to marriage which we view as the ultimate waste given the times we live in."

"Marriage goes sour? Well there goes years of our life, and money wasted. We would rather not date at all. Things are much too complicated than they need to be these days and we would rather do things simply. Meaningful friendships yes. Dating no. Rather be alone but not lonely." ~ RK9Roxas


"Confidence, which is ironic considering I don't lack in confidence. In all other areas of life I am never in doubt of myself. It's not confidence in myself that I'm lacking. I simply don't have much faith in humanity as a whole." ~ HuemanLikeU

Love is elusive, and that seems to be fine for many. Who wants to share a bed and money and food anyway? I want all of that for me. For now...

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