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Sons Of Single Mothers Break Down The Things Moms Need To Know About Raising A Boy

Sons Of Single Mothers Break Down The Things Moms Need To Know About Raising A Boy
Image by Ratna Fitry from Pixabay

Single mothers command respect, and they ought to.


Left to raise children without a spouse, these women must be financially independent, have eyes on the backs of their heads, and somehow find additional hours beyond the normal 24 hour allotment.

And that task only becomes more difficult when they have to wrap their heads around raising boys.

There are, of course challenges and anxieties unique to male and female children and teens. Without another male person around the house to empathize, single mothers have to be very resourceful and candid to get through the years-long struggles.

Perhaps gearing up for a similar situation, Redditor RocketQueen1992 asked:

"Sons of single mothers, what is something all moms need to know while raising a boy?"

Of course, puberty was discussed at length.

A Knock Makes All the Difference

"If they've hit puberty, knock before entering."

"It will save both parties some trauma and awkwardness."

-- JeremyDonJuan

It Can Wait

"Do not wake up boys in the morning and immediately ask them to get out of bed."

"It will result in a very awkward conversation neither of us wants to have. Wake us up and tell us to come do whatever you need in a few minutes."

-- ablondedude

Be Open

"Research male puberty so you're prepared to give 'The Talk.' Also be prepared to teach your son how to shave because his father may not be available to do so himself. My mom was fully prepared for all this and more, she credits that to having 3 brothers and being the only girl."

"Also don't be afraid to expose him to girly things too! Every boy should also have an understanding of the female body because it helps them empathize with their female friends and family."

"Also don't be afraid to share your interests and hobbies with him too, it will only deepen your bond! One of my fondest memories of growing up was watching the Golden Girls with my mom."

-- justsomedude322

Chaotic Years

"A teenage boy is going to have mood swings from I want to punch everything to I want to hump everything.. he needs outlets to deal with both."

"And both are helped with healthy doses of privacy so he can sort it out."

-- Sleestacksrcoming

Still Can Be a Teacher

"Definitely inform yourself about the male body. My mother never understood it and could never teach me about myself, I had to discover everything myself, and I did, but those were some years filled with strong anxiety."

-- Haxminator

Time and Place

"Don't harass him about girls he likes or dating, it's not funny or cute to prod, it's uncomfortable as hell and not something everyone wants to really talk about"

-- Freshman44

Pragmatic Advice

"Not a son of a single mother but a medical student: please for the love of god teach your son to dry his penis after he leaves the shower. You have no idea how many rashes and infections are caused by that."

-- brodyhaffer

People Explain The Worst Thing That's Ever Happened To Them On Their Birthday

Other people discussed the importance of being patient with a son's inherent position as a man in society. Sometimes, the wounds of the man who left take awhile to heal.

He's Not Him

"Even if you have a hardcore hatred of men you can't let that influence the way you raise a son."

"My Mom hated men because of whatever my father did to her. I was treated different from my sister because of that. I still love my mother but at one point after I moved out we didn't talk for years."

"My sister was bigger, stronger, and more athletic than me. Despite being younger she would bully me so badly. If I laid a finger on her my Mother punished me badly. Not only that, I was literally raised as a girl for the first 6-7 years of my life because of how much my Mom hated men."

-- Bullydaddy

Let Him Start Fresh

"Please.. Never put another man before your son."

"Also he is not his father, don't hold him accountable for things that his father may have done."

-- WorkHardEnjoyLife

Encourage Autonomy

"I'd say for boy or girl, never, ever, compare your child to the parent that left. Every time my mom says 'Don't act like [Dead beat]' or 'Don't make that face, you look like [Dead beat].' It breaks my heart every time because I know just how much she hates him and I don't want that for anyone else."

-- okand5445

At Least It Only Lasted Two Weeks

"Don't berate nor trash talk men with sweeping generalizations. My mom is a single mom and my dad split when I was 10 and my mom trash talked him so much that for about 2 weeks, I just about resented women until I realized how foolish and ignorant of a thing to do it was."

-- Mike_Hawk_Burns

And others talked about the ways some single mothers try to fill the absence of a father and husband figure. The truth is, it can't be filled easily, so try to do so only makes things more strained.

It's Gotta Be Real

"Don't marry someone you don't love because you think your son needs a father-figure or for the sake of financial stability. My mom did, no one came out of it happy."

-- martiantrucker

Demonstrate Self-Respect

"Leave if you find yourself with more abusive men."

"It's not fair for a child to feel as though the most important person to him chooses a**holes over him. It causes lasting damage."

-- Dipsendorf

He Is Still a Child

"Do not expect your son to fill your missing spouses role."

"My mom would constantly act like I was some male patriarch of the house, constantly giving me extra stress like financial concerns and death plans. Gave me an unnecessary amount of stress and didnt allow me to have much of a fun childhood since I was 'playing dad' "

-- Manofluckhoa

Not a Zero-Sum Game

"When you meet another man that you fall in love with we are still there and we still need your love and attention"

-- Zaddy13

Of course, we cannot let this list make us think that all single mothers do these kinds of things. There are so many amazing mothers out there busting tail and maintaining compassion all the way through. Here's to you!

Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.

Things People Secretly Love But Would Never Admit To In Public

Reddit user sweet_chick283 asked: 'What do you secretly love that you would never admit to in public?;

Collection of VHS tapes
Bruno Guerrero/Unsplash

What makes us all unique is our passions and the things we love, whether it's singing in the shower, reading books, or listening to specific music artists.

Unfortunately, we live in a world where we are judged for our various tastes and interests thanks to social media, and it makes us consciously selective about sharing the things we love on the internet.

Curious to hear about people's personal desires under anonymity, Redditor sweet_chick283 asked:

"What do you secretly love that you would never admit to in public?"

These aren't really chores for the following Redditors.

Good Clean Fun

"Mopping, im a janitor and generally hate my work... but damn mopping is so good."

– MrDDog06

"When you have a great rhythm going it is something special. I get the same feeling while I vacuum, but won’t let my wife know I enjoy it."

– Bogus_34

Act Of Unwrinkling

"Ironing clothes. A dozen of them. Can’t explain how it relaxes me. I told one person and they looked at me like I’m crazy."

– eerie_white_glow

"My mum misses the days when dad would be out on a Friday night, my brother out with friends and me upstairs quietly playing PS1. She would pour herself a Bacardi & Coke and do the ironing while watching her TV shows."

"I'm sure she doesn't really miss it now that we've moved out and they've retired but it was her wind-down after a busy working week so I can see how people can find it relaxing."

– xdq

Our solo actions can spark joy.

Big Brother Is Watching

"pretending to be on the Truman show and whenever im in my house i act all inconspicuous so they dont know that i know that they’re watching me."

– Bec_121

"C’mon man, you’re not supposed to let him know. You signed a contract when signing up for live views. I’m reporting you."

– doeswaspsmakehoney

The Multi-Tasker

"Playing video games naked at home while eating cheese."

– thickening_agent

Releasing The Kraken

"I love the feeling when you've eaten good fibre and let out a solid long train log in the toilet. That feeling is heavenly."

– therapoootic

"Even better when it’s a clean wipe and not a poo crayon."

– TheWarmestHugz

Ultimate Comfort

"My (male 41) weekend routine is coming home from work, make hot chocolate, start a fire, dress in a ugly pink nightgown made for old ladies and watch forensic files."

– crazyloomis

Some people are obsessed with collecting things.

So Kawai

"Sanrio stationery stores. All those different multicolor pens, a thousand kinds of erasers, spiral bound notebooks galore... my kids sadly have absolutely no appreciation for this wonderland..."

– HavingNotAttained

It's A Staple

"Office supplies have a weird, special place in my heart ever since I was a kid. They don't even have to be 'cute' necessarily."

"Japan's legendary stationery stores is unironically a reason I want to go."

– _CozyLavender_

Not Caring Anymore

"The older I get the shorter that list gets. Not because I love less things, but because I don't care about hiding it."

– Bi-Beast

"YES!! I'm 53 now. I'm working my first job in public since 2006. Today is Halloween and we're allowed to dress up so I am sitting here waiting to go to work dressed as a VERY bad Wednesday Addams. My bf said I'd 'look stupid' because no one else will probably dress up and I'm like, 'WHO CARES!' My makeup looks horrible and not like I practiced, but I DO NOT CARE! I'm having fun with it anyhow and I don't care if my coworkers dress up or not. I'm bein' ME! :)"

– deanie1970

Honorable mentions start here.

The Savior

"Picking up worms from the street and sidewalks when it rains and moving them into the dirt so they don’t burn in the sun, every time it rains I do this."

– sky_kitten89

Hero Of The Moment

"Yoooo I scoot SO many snails and worms. I work as a tech/mechanic at an automotive shop, I had a peoject car towed to my house the other day and it was covered in snails. I saw them when the tow guy/coworker was unloading and I was like, 'oh! It comes with free snails!' and began moving them. He laughed then realized and said, '... Oh, you're serious. Uh... Okay.'"

"I don't care who knows it. These little things barely can look out for themselves, why shouldn't we if we can take a moment to help? I don't care what happens next, it probably doesn't matter overall but I can help this moment."

– chris14020

Why should some of the hidden desires mentioned above have to be secret?

Redditors opening up about some of these would make them a hit at parties–no shaming.

As a matter of fact, I'll totally be down for a Forensic Files viewing party where we all make hot chocolate, light the fireplace, and cozy up together in our respective pink ugly nightgowns for old ladies.

historical reenactors
Sigmund on Unsplash

We've probably all heard some variation of the saying "Truth is stranger than fiction."

Real life isn't just strange, it can also be downright ridiculous.

History is riddled with moments of absurdity.

So ridiculous that people have a hard time believing real life is, well, really real.

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