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People Share The Simple Pleasures Other Genders Never Get To Experience

People Share The Simple Pleasures Other Genders Never Get To Experience
Jonas Leupe/Unsplash

Sometimes, I write these articles sitting at the table with my kids while they work on school stuff. The 'communal office' feel of the dining table has its ups and downs, but today was definitely an up.

My teenager, peeking over my shoulder as I filled in the title, quipped:

"My nonbinary a$ would LOVE to know what it's like to sit in a chair normally - but all I got is goblin mode."

Reddit user Lemonkainen asked:

"What is a simple pleasure that the opposite sex rarely/never gets to experience?"

My kid may be doomed to spend eternity sitting in chairs like they think the floor is lava, but they're not the only one missing out on things the rest of us take for granted.

Here's what Reddit came up with.

Free Wees...

"Peeing standing up in a bush."- hairyscrotes

big daddy thumbs up GIFGiphy

And Constricting Wees

"Having to squat to take a piss on dirty bathrooms."- Suryyur

Summer Fashions

"Wearing a light sundress on a hot day."- TheLadyRica

Unleashing The Beasts

"That feeling when you take off your bra after a very long day."- Euro_Girl

Give Women Pockets!

"Getting to put their phone in their pocket."- BAD_TIME_MAN


"My girlfriend is exceptionally mad that I can even put a Kindle in half of my pockets. The difference is insane!"

- gregedit

Happy Fashion GIF by Rosanna PansinoGiphy

Drunk Bathroom Besties

"The amount of camaraderie from drunk girls in a bathroom."- sharkyshark303

"Amusingly, my wife met some drunk girls in a bathroom, helped them a little, and I got a promotion out of it!"

"I had won a sales contest for the company I worked for."

"All expenses paid cruise, they rented the whole boat."

"Norwegian cruise lines. 4000 sales people globally, 100s of us won."

"She was in the bathroom, and two women were just drunk on the pre-party for the cruise ship. She helped them out, they liked her."

"It turned out that their husbands both worked for the SW region manager of the USA, and as such things go, they introduced me to their husbands, who introduced me to the regional manager, who hired my sorry butt and had the company pay for my green card."

"So the drunk camaraderie in the bathroom was the key element to the whole thing. Thank you drunk women in bathrooms! It changed my life."- likes2gofast

"Drunk girls in a bar are amazing."

"I had a group stop me to hug me so they could smell like me."- Dudeidk247

So Stiff

"Morning wood so stiff you feel like you could use it to rip open the hatch on a submarine."- macrotron

"Fall asleep in a bed."

"Wake up in a tent."- sabrefayne

Late Night Games

"When you're in a bar and they put the leftover ice cubes in the urinal, and you make a game of how many of them you can melt before you run out of pee."- Beginning-Bed9364

excited the sims GIFGiphy

Small And Safe

"Feeling small in someone else's arms."

"My husband is bigger than me and I've now become dependent on his body for sleep."

"Curling into his warm enveloping embrace is a pleasure I want everyone to know at least once."

"Hugs and cuddles."

"The safety and comfort are immeasurable."- katz332

Let It Down

"Not completely unique to women, but taking out a tight pony tail or bun after it being up all day."

"I’ve had short hair my entire life."

"When covid hit and I couldn’t get a haircut, I decided I was just going to grow it out because why not."

"Ended up growing it out for about a year and a half, to the point where I was tying it up to keep it out of my face."

"Letting that down at the end of the day was pretty incredible."- BimmerJustin

"When my daughter was little, at the end of the day she’d rip hers out and come to me and say 'shake it'."

" She’d want me to shake my hands through her hair and let me tell you the ultimate relaxation and bliss on her little baby face was something I cherished and still remember years later!"- lulu-bell

"Taking boxers off after long day and workout."

"The same could be said for women and bras/panties tho."- Graybo95

Smothered

"When you don't have to smother you vagina with pads after a full week of being uncomfortable."- island-breeze

"Just had a baby. "

"5 weeks of wearing a pad everyday."

"The first day without having to wear anything was life changing."- ProfessionalCoyote54

breathe mandy moore GIF by NRDCGiphy

Up Close And Personal

"When we are wearing jeans and the sewed hem between the legs rides right up my tw*t through out the day."- Asparklingtreasure

Are They Really Missing Out

"C*CK AND BALLS TORTURE."- M0RYYY

To All Be Equal

"To be f*cking sexless for once."

"Aka to be neither masculine or feminine."

"Aka: objective, It's like trying to overpower a Machine gun or trying to manipulate a nuke/ make em love you."- Content_Watch_2392

The Itch We Almost Hope For...

"That awesome feeling of scratching my sack when it has one of those intense itches."- MasturMechanic

Sloth Scratching GIFGiphy

But Did Everyone Know They Were Missed?

"Orgasms."- johnwayne344

"Multiple orgasms."- Dr_JoJo_·

Potty Tricks...

"Cutting a turd in half with your piss."- OGproztate

Sometimes We Literally Can't Hide Our Excitment...

"Being able to hide how insanely sexually attracted I am to someone."

"No boners here!"- FriendlyGanache5519

james corden will my boner ever go away GIF by The Late Late Show with James CordenGiphy

You've gotten to experience a little bit of joy with Reddit, but now it's your turn to get in on the fun.

What's a simple pleasure you just don't see other genders getting to experience?

The Most Unprofessional Thing A Doctor Has Ever Said To A Patient

Reddit user Monsah asked: 'What is the most unprofessional thing a doctor has said to you?'

surgeons looking down at patient

National Cancer Institute on Unsplash

"I shall do by my patients as I would be done by; shall obtain consultation whenever I or they desire; shall include them to the extent they wish in all important decisions; and shall minimize suffering whenever a cure cannot be obtained, understanding that a dignified death is an important goal in everyone's life."

~ English translation of the modern abridged Hippocratic Oath

It is the hope of those seeking medical help that the medical professionals providing it will be just that—professional.

But no profession is immune to bad days, bad attitudes or bad apples.

Keep reading...Show less
shallow focus of a woman's sad eyes
Photo by Louis Galvez on Unsplash

When it comes to making a point, the stronger language you use, the better.

Sometimes, this is true of insults too. If you use strong language, the insult may hurt more. This language may include curse words. A lot of times, cursing while insulting someone is a surefire way to make sure the insult lands the way it was intended.

However, this is not always true.

Redditors know it's completely possible to deliver savage insults without using curse words, and are eager to share their favorites.

It all started when Redditor ILikeExistingLol asked:

"What's an absolutely devastating insult without any cuss words?"

Bad Breath

""First of all, brush your teeth...""

– iSniffMyPooper

"I literally just brushed my teeth because of this comment. I was gonna put it off for a little later, but I couldn't after reading that."

– ClumsyGhostObserver

"A coworker who never showers, washes his clothes, or brushes his teeth was trying to intimidate me once and I told him the scariest thing about him was his breath. He hasn’t spoken to me since."

– Floptopus

"“Well, at least you have more teeth than IQ points.”"

– Average_Aloe

"About the same in his case, really."

– Floptopus

Yikes! That Face!

""I never forget a face. But in your case, I'll be glad to make an exception.""

"– Groucho Marx"

– chumloadio

""You have the face for a career in radio.""

– badmother

""...and a voice for print.""

– Byanl

If Only We Never Met

"I miss the feeling of not knowing you."

– Swivel_D

"I think Shakespeare once said something along the lines of "I wish we were better strangers.""

– Non_Music_Prodigy

Crime Against Humanity

"Have you ever considered that perhaps your low self-esteem is just good common sense?"

– pantsoncrooked

"I'd say shots fired but damn that's a nuclear warhead."

– RBpositive

Winston Churchill

"“He’s a humble man with much to be humble about.”"

"-Winston Churchill"

– Triton289

"Another Winston favorite: “Madam, I may be drunk, but you are ugly. Tomorrow, I will be sober.”"

– hdroadking

"Some lady: “If you were my husband, I’d poison your drink.”"

"Churchill: “If you were my wife, I’d drink it.”"

"May be slightly different wording."

– No-comment-at-all

"Lady Astor! She was an interesting person."

– Rare_Parsnip905

Wrong!

""I could agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.""

– shaidyn

""You're entitled to your opinion. It's wrong, but you're entitled to it.""

– a_in_hd

Tough Love

"A teacher called my son success-avoidant 3 years ago and he still thinks about that every day. But it did motivate him to get an A in that class, and all his other classes too!"

– OhSassafrass

"Damn, a harsh truth can be very motivating."

– InverstNoob

What I Like About You

"“Do you know what I like about you?”"

"When they say “what?”, you reply, “See? You can’t think of anything either.”"

– Axeman517

"These are always the most devastating ones, when you set them up to expect a compliment."

– TruCelt

"It's risky though. If they actually give an answer, like some cocky "that i'm hot?" or whatever, then you'll have to think fast."

– Ketcunt

""No, that's definitely not it. I'll keep thinking, I'm sure something will come to me.""

– OnionMiasma

Rumor Has It

""I had to see for myself, but people are absolutely right about you.""

"No cussing, no meanness, but they'll get paranoid about who's talking about them and their reputation."

– NinjatheClick

Intelligence Called Out

"Your grades say marry rich, but your face says study harder."

– rrashad21

"Please donate your brain to science, at least that way someone will actually use it."

– MembraneintheInzane

Oooh!

"You are impossible to underestimate."

"You never fail to meet my expectations."

– Zyhre

Hilarious

"You couldn't guess which way an elevator is going if you had three guesses."

– Edward_the_Dog

"I love this insult because you have a moment of silence afterward as the insultee pieces it together."

– -Envixity

I love that one; it's brilliant. I'm using this as soon as I get an opportunity!

office full of desks and workers

Alex Kotliarskyi on Unsplash

I once worked in a cubicle farm doing finance and accounting. A new employee disappeared just a few hours after the day started.

Eventually they were found.

On the floor.

Under their desk.

Sleeping.

They were promptly fired once they woke up. I wonder how their version of the story goes.

While that was a ridiculous way to be fired, for these folks, the employers were the ones with questionable judgment.

Keep reading...Show less

Anyone who has gone on a few dates knows a few things that they like and don't like to see in a relationship, and they definitely know what some of their dealbreakers are.

But there are some dealbreakers that, when looked at from the outside, are totally petty in nature.

Redditor bigdawgcat asked:

"What is the pettiest reason why you wouldn't date somebody?"

Food Allergies

"I have a friend who stopped dating someone because he found out they were lactose intolerant."

"His example of why was, what if I taste a really great dessert, and I want to share the experience with her, and she can’t even taste it."

- Horknut1

"I know someone who is allergic to alliums (garlic, onions, etc.). I could never date this person as there is no meal I could make which doesn't include them in some amount."

- Fixes_Computers

"Same with peanut allergies. I love peanut butter too much to start a relationship with someone who couldn't be in the same room with it, not when there are plenty of other wonderful people who can. If the allergy suddenly developed long into the relationship, that would be a different case."

- cottagecheeseobesity

The Ups and Downs of Physical Fitness

"A college friend of mine was dating a girl who was amazing, smart, and funny, and she had put on a few extra pounds recently, which bothered him (don’t shoot the messenger)."

"We were driving at night down a big hill on a hot summer night and saw a young woman running up the hill toward us, really sweating, face purple, and looking pretty haggard, huffing and puffing."

"He made a comment like, 'Holy s**t, this girl is struggling.' We got closer and realized it was her."

"Long awkward pause. 'Well, I’m going to have to break up with her,' he said."

"Fast forward six months, and we ran into her at a pub, and she was in absolutely perfect shape."

"When he tried to make a move, she told him aloud, in front of a table full of her friends, 'That she wasn’t interested in him, and that he had dumped her for getting fat.' Top five funniest takedowns I’ve ever seen."

"Fast forward 10 years, he’s been divorced twice and has had a long list of s**tty relationships. The end."

- Much_Progress_4745

Conspiracy Theory Investment

"If they’re into conspiracy theories. I dated a guy who was and it consumed his life. It’s all he talked about."

"I couldn’t even watch a movie with him because he would talk through the whole thing about how it relates to certain conspiracy theories…"

"I also could never enjoy my food. We would make a big dinner on Friday nights to start the weekend, we both had a long day at work... we’d sit down to finally eat and he’d pull out his phone and put on conspiracy videos, and he’d make me watch them sooo loudly while I ate. And he’d talk through all of them too."

"I could never tell him that I wasn’t interested or I just wanted to eat because he’d get mad. It ruined my whole meal... I think most people like to eat in peace.. also he’d spend hundreds of items he needed in case we ever got attacked by 'skin walkers'... Never again."

- Low-Sky-4812

Eating Noises

"They slurp when they drink or smack when they eat."

- just-say-it-

"Soup should be seen and not heard."

- Playful-Profession-2

Same Names, Same Problems

"I will never date or f**k another Anthony ever again. I’ve dated or had a relationship with three different Anthonys at three different ages and they all turned out badly."

- SylphofBlood

"I had a friend years back that had three bad boyfriends, one after the other, each more of a D-bag than the last. Each one was named Rob."

"When talking to her one night, having a few beers, she complained that she always attracts d**kheads and then she asked what she should do. So having had a drink or six, I just blurted out, 'Maybe don't date anymore Robs.'"

"Anyway, the next guy she dated was Steve... they got married."

- vejbok

Love for Animals

"My cat said hello to her and she didn't say hi back."

- StephenHawkings_Legs

"I had a one-night stand kick my cat off of the bed. First, never ever have I kicked a cat. But I did kick that guy out of my house and my life. Instantly. GET THE F**K OUT. NOW."

- e11spark

"Not petty. If someone ignored my dog greeting them, I would be put off, too."

- A-Yandere-Succubus

Unexpected Sleeping Arrangements

"He slept in those tiny no-show socks. Let me be clear, he didn't wear them any other time than when he went to bed."

"There were some other, more real, red flags, but when I saw him whip them out and put them on the second time we slept together, I legitimately thought to myself: 'Actually, I don't think I can fix this one.'"

- Potential-Plastic-66

Matching Clothes

"He wore the same shirt on both of our dates.

Get this, years later, I get into the elevator at work and he's there. IN THE SAME SHIRT."

"I wanted so badly to demand to know if he has multiples or just one! Or find out which department he was in and stalk him. Unfortunately, I had given in my two weeks and didn't work in that building often."

- SunflowerSeed33

Different Interests

"If a woman has a horse in her dating profile, you will never be more important than that horse."

"(It may be petty, but it's backed up by personal experience)."

- No-Hat-689

"Horse girls do really love their horses, so I believe you. And I can't blame you."

- dumpster_cherries

"Worst of all, if you break up with the girl you won't be able to see the horse again! Imagine how heartbreaking that would be."

- one-eye-fox

Social Media Schemes

If they have emojis like their signs, or money signs, or airplanes, or some s**t like that in their bio. Just seems like some scammer or Ponzi scheme s**t."

- UrinePulp

Weakness?

"Wasn't me, but a female friend broke up with a guy because 'his allergies were a sign of weakness.'"

"Yeah, I responded the same way you did."

- Street-Comb1000

"My brother believes this about my allergies. He thinks I 'shoulda grown out of it by now.' Infuriating."

- I_Stan_Kyrgyzstan

Finals Week Troubles

​"Because her eye was twitching while we were talking to each other. I was a dumb freshman in college. This girl was super attractive and smart, and we got along great."

"For some unfathomable reason, this made me want to not talk to her again."

"Later it dawned on me that it was during finals and she was heavily caffeinated and that can be a side effect. She dodged a bullet because I was a complete dingleberry, lol (laughing out loud)."

- Atlas88-

Deal-breaking Voices

"I briefly dated a young woman who was insanely out of my league. People stared when we went out."

"Anyway, her voice was like Minnie Mouse, and I just couldn't take it. I still feel bad about that one."

- Pickleliver

Dental Preferences

​"Not me, but I had a friend who wouldn’t date this guy because he had one crooked tooth. He was the nicest guy truly a wonderful person. Like if I hadn’t been in a serious relationship I would’ve dated this guy."

"Fast forward, he meets a wonderful woman, and they get married, and my friend was all weird about it."

"I asked why and she said, 'Well, I thought he liked me enough to get his twisted tooth fixed.'"

"It was the silliest thing I’ve ever heard."

- Foxy_locksy1704

Preferred Facial Features

"I knew and almost dated a girl who talked out the side of her mouth. I’m not sure if that’s the best way to describe it, but that’s all I thought about when she spoke."

"Like, the front of her lips barely moved, and it was like a weird little smirk kinda thing when she spoke. I couldn’t get past it."

- newadventures96

"Weird ick: people with big/wide mouths. Why can I see all of your teeth and the back of your throat while you’re talking? You don’t need to open it that much just because you can."

- burritoboles

When one Redditor wanted to hear others' "petty" reasons for not wanting to date someone, their fellow Redditors really delivered. While some of these could simply be a matter of taste, like finding some facial features attractive where others do not, some of these, like allergies, are pretty, pretty petty.