Everyone has insecurities.
Be it speaking in public, wearing beach attire, or even one's profession, very few people don't have at least one topic of conversation that is bound to make them red in the face.
Some people are pretty adept at hiding their discomfort and can manage to persevere through their phobias with their dignity intact.
Others are not so lucky and often go to great lengths to hide their insecurities, only to make them even more apparent.
Redditor Dear_Coyote_ was eager to learn the tell-tale signs of someone's insecurities, leading them to ask:
"What screams 'I’m insecure'?"
The Wisest People Are Those Always Willing To Learn
"When people are unable to admit that they don’t know something."- slimytoads
not listening no way GIFGiphyOther People's Success Are Not Your Failures
"Mocking someone else's achievement."- SuvenPan
Never Pick Yourself Up By Taking Others Down
"Belittling others."- Term-Haunting
"Always talking badly about others and trying to make them look weak/bad."- Pildith
The Simpsons GIF by MOODMANGiphyMaybe Honesty Isn't Always The Best Policy...
"When you're quick to be 'brutally honest' with others, but have a meltdown when someone does it back to you."-eF240uKX52hp
Not As Funny As They Think...
"People who tear other people down as a joke but then get mad when they get it handed back to them."
"Clearly they either aren’t joking or are too sensitive to be dishing out sh*t."- babythrottlepop
Being On Top Adds More Possibilities Of Falling Down...
"Trying to one-up people in every conversation."- Flanky_Bwai
"One upping people in conversation."
"If I tell you I had a great trip to X place, I don’t need to hear about your better trip to someplace else that’s ostensibly 'better'."- I_Am_The_Grapevine
kristen wiig television GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphySome Things Speak For Themselves...
"Constantly saying what kind of person you are."
"If you were, you wouldn’t have to tell us."- ubereddit
A Little Contrition Goes A Long Way...
"Never apologizing."
"Making excuses and even twisting the facts but never apologize."- SuvenPan
But Enough About Me, What Do You Think Of Me?
"Constant projection and self-serving compliments."- nhabz
Look At Me Kiki GIF by The Bachelor AustraliaGiphyWhat Are They Even Trying To Prove?
"Revving your vehicle loudly every time you pass another person."- msnmck
Superior By Association
“'You will address me by my husband’s rank!'”- Psychological-Stay16
PDA Much?
"Elaborate Instagram and Facebook posts declaring love for one’s significant other over and over and over."- jbmaun
Happy Married At First Sight GIF by LifetimeGiphyAlways Needing Validation
"People who can’t think or feel anything without being told that it’s okay to do so."- Diesel07012012
It's sad that so many people think the only way to overcome something which makes them embarrassed or afraid is by embarrassing or demeaning others.
When being open and honest about your insecurities might, instead, result in your finding common ground with others.
And making new, lifelong friends in the process.
Curious to hear from strangers online, Redditor XqueezeMePlease asked:
"What are your immediate thoughts when you hear a guy refer to himself as an 'Alpha Male'?"
People shared their interpretations to hearing a guy declaring himself an alpha.
Self-Granted Permission
"Translation: 'I am going to be an unapologetic a**hole.'”
–darkwulf1
Moving Forward
“I can’t take anything from him seriously from now on.”
– YourLocalOrangePeel
"It's a real life cheat code to make your reputation go to 0%."
– AstronomerNo556
Being A Male
"try to explain to them how much of a bitch they really are for having to boost their self importance by telling others how great they are....instead of actually BEING great."
"i will never forget my father telling me 'being a male, does not mean your a man.'"
– tokikain
What is he really saying about himself?
Hiding Insecurity
"That he’s deeply insecure."
– ButternutSnuggleButt
"Narrator: he wasn’t an alpha male."
– Yellowmellowbelly
The Thing About Actual Male Confidence
"The entire sub-culture around 'Alpha Males' is centered around men being insecure. And I say this from personal experience. In middle school, high school, and even early college I was a very insecure guy and I’d watch videos constantly on 'how to be an alpha' and it would only spiral into me hating myself more for not amounting to the standards of an 'alpha'.
"Confident, secure men wear what they want, do what they want, and are comfortable being themselves regardless of what society or its standards say. I mean take Harry Styles for example, that man can wear a dress, put on makeup, and be himself confidently AND he still is more of a man than any self-proclaimed 'alpha.'"
"Manliness and masculinity isn’t about looking like a lumberjack, drinking whiskey, and working out 24/7 (though it’s okay if you do any of these things because that’s what you genuinely enjoy), its about being confident in who you are as a man whatever that means for you. People fail to realize, if you are a man and you do something, anything, that in and of itself is inherently manly regardless of what society says."
"I’m so happy that I was able to come to these realizations and deal with the real underlying issues I had of low self-esteem but it’s so sad to see so many young men fall prey to “alpha” bs and base their entire existence on the concept of trying to be 'alpha' all because instead of talking through their feelings and mental health they let their insecurities dictate their life."
– ccalicich32
Measure Of A Man
"Small dick energy."
– NeoWarriors
You want to stay away from these types of men.
Self-Aggrandizement
"Translation: I’m extremely insecure and need to feel superior and also think woman are property."
– TwistedFate21
Potential For Abuse
"My girlfriend has bruises she lies about"
– AsperaAstra
Code
"'Alpha Male' is just code for I think I can beat up most people around me so I want to be treated as special and not be forced to obey social niceties and laws."
– anon
Public Threat
"Like an alpha of a program or videogame, highly unstable and should not be available to the public."
– Whismurr_
Let's face it. No one using the phrase "alpha male" to describe themselves is going to be likable.
Unless you are desiring to be dominated by a superior alpha under erotic pretenses, you're better off keeping your inner circle exclusively without complete morons.
"What’s the dumbest thing someone accused you of without any evidence?"
You Expect Me To Use This?!?!
"My mother-in-law accused me of buying a sh*tty brand of hair spray, leaving it in our guest bathroom for her to use, and trying to trick her into thinking it was hers."
"She actually brought it to our house the previous time she visited and left it behind. It was totally hers."- thecooley
He Must Have Run Quite The Distance...
"Throwing stones at her goats."
"I would not throw stones at goats, but she went to my mother’s house and accused me."
"She said she had just chased me off after I did it."
"My mother told her that, if that is what she saw, then she would punish me the moment that I got home, if she would like to wait."
"My mother supplied her with tea and biscuits and, later, a light snack."
"Offered her a stronger drink, too."
"After a long time, the goat lady asked if my mother had any idea what time I would be home."
“'Well, he has only been gone a week, so another two weeks, I imagine'.”
"My mother replied, as I went to a boarding school and stayed away for three weeks at a time."- Pedantichrist
Goat Bleating GIFGiphyMaybe She Planted A Bug?
"A college roommate reported me to the campus police for selling drugs."
"She stated that she was in our dorm room and overheard me selling drugs to another student in the laundry room."
"Our dorm room was on the 12th floor, laundry room was in the basement of the building."
"She got pissed when campus police laughed at her statement."- MissConduct0120
How Dare You Not Break The Law To Help Me!
"I once had a co-worker write to my manager to complain I was racist because I wouldn’t pirate a copy of Norton Utilities and give it to her."- Yorkie_Mom_2
Wrong Ex, maybe?
"One time I started getting a bunch of texts from an ex accusing me of being on a trip with some other girl and throwing all kinds of insults my way."
"Not only was she my ex and I was not talking to her or planning to reconcile, so that if I was in fact on a trip with some other girl it was none of her business, but I was actually literally sitting on my couch with my dog watching TV."
"I told her I hadn't the slightest idea of what she was yelling about and sent her a picture of me and my dog in my living room."
"She replied, "F*ck," and I didn't hear from her for weeks until the crazy ultimately outweighed any embarrassment she felt."
"To this day I have no idea why she thought I was on a trip in the first place, especially since her texts were pretty specific and she mentioned where she claimed I was and other details."- Tough_Stretch
Work From Home Dog GIFGiphyCould Have Been Worse?
"I was accused of throwing a potato at a shed, totally not true."- bobbejaan79
They Were At Least Half Right...
"Insubordination for failing to report in to work for over a month."
"I resigned a month earlier."- Fifth_Wall0666·
Wrong Place At The Wrong Time
"I was in either first grade or kindergarten, and the chain link fence on the side of our playground had fallen over / caved in."
"Me and my friends looked at it and wondered how it happened."
"Then a teacher came by and yelled at us for breaking the fence and we all got put in time-out for the rest of recess."
"WE WERE 6, HOW WOULD WE MANGLE A CHAIN LINK FENCE WITH OUR HANDS?!"- Rabid_Chocobo
buster keaton fence GIF by MauditGiphySome Might Consider This A Compliment...
"In High School, half the school thought I was Gay, and the other half thought I was a vegetarian."
"I'm neither, and I have no idea how the two related."- Group_of_no_one
When All You Were Doing Was Trying To Help...
"One day when I was in 5th grade a female collie followed me home from school."
"I walked around the neighborhood trying to find the owner, but nobody knew whose dog she was."
"I left my neighborhood and crossed a four lane."
"I carried her so she wouldn't get hit by a car (I didn't own a dog leash)."
"After knocking doors and asking around, I had to go home but she just kept following me."
"I picked her back up and carried her back across the four lane, put her down and we walked another block."
"Then the owner pulled up, stopped in the middle of the intersection, got out of his car, and called her."
"She ran to him, and hopped up in the car."
"I told him I'd been trying to find her owners for hours."
"The old bastard said, 'Yeah, someone saw you carrying her'," implying that I stole her."
"Then he plopped his fat a** back in his Cadillac and sped away."
"No good deed..."- TheC0zmo
border collie dog GIF by Rover.comGiphyPunished For Being Poor
"Being a thief because I was a student."
"Money was going missing from the tills in the bar I worked at on some evening and weekends."
"Walked into work and got called out back with the manager."
"Was told money was missing and was suspended there and then."
"I asked when this money went missing and it wasn’t even when I was working!"
"I asked why I was the prime suspect and the managers wife pointed the finger at me because I was a student and therefore must have needed the money."
"About a week later the actual thief was caught red handed putting money from the till into his pocket by the manager."
"This was back the mid 90s so no cameras to view, which would have cleared it up straight away."
"Instead, they cast blame with evidence that actually proved it couldn’t have been me because the times the money went missing, I wasn’t even there, but hey ho."- idiBanashapan
Clearly, these hasty accusers must never have heard the saying "let he who is without sin cast the first stone".
Sadly, it's sometimes easier for people to just place blame as fast as they can.
Even if evidence and logic are not on their side.
Redditor CoatedTrout4 wanted to discuss the documentaries that have made us feel uneasy, so they asked:
"What Are Some Disturbing Documentaries?"
I've been SHOOK by far too many documentaries.
But they are so important.
Unreal
"The Trials of Gabriel Fernandez :( heartbreaking and so upsetting as the audience learns about how many opportunities this boy’s life could have been saved."
SandwichMore1508
"Sixty complaints were filed against the abusers between 2005 and 2012. Sixty. F**king. Complaints. Teachers called social services. A family called social services. Police officers reported it to their Sheriffs, risking their jobs in the process. And yet nothing was done. It's unbelievable. I can't wrap my head around it."
elizabethbennetpp
Two of a Kind
"Tell Me Who I Am. It’s about two twins, one of whom lost his memory after an accident at 18. They unravel a dark secret that only one remembers. Worth a watch but really dark."
Crab-Dragoon
"It's crazy how you can look at both of them. The one with the memories looks so tired and worn in the eyes, the other doesn't have that same look. Then there's that moment you realize you were so wrong with your assumptions of the story."
Ajwuvsu
"I know, it's really sad. It was nice to see that they otherwise seemed to have a great relationship. I can see how having those memories while your brother did not make you bitter."
Crab-Dragoon
Obsessed
"Abducted in Plain Sight is strange. Man is obsessed with a friend's young daughter, kidnaps and 'marries' her twice, somewhat with the parent's consent."
"I heard about it in a similar Reddit thread a few years ago. Available on Netflix."
rock_and_rolo
"When the parents went to press charges and the ole boy said 'Press charges and I'll tell the press how I had sexual relations with both of you' so the parents DROPPED THE CHARGES because apparently - their reputation was more important than the well being of their daughter. What a bunch of bulls**t. That girl deserved so much better."
josims88
In the Wilderness
"Grizzly Man by Werner Herzog. It's about bear enthusiast Timothy Treadwell who went to live with Alaskan brown bears during the salmon spawning season. It's only slightly disturbing, but it is fascinating.
PeteyMax
"I remember getting increasingly frustrated with this guy the more I watched this - especially when he would treat the other animals like pets, change the water flow after the rains, and basically give the middle finger to the park officials when they told him he had to move after so many days to you know... avoid potentially getting attacked/eaten."
"What was really interesting was how this guy's friends/family thought he was doing so much good, and everyone else who was interviewed said he was doing the opposite."
bananasareappealing
This is why I only sleep in at home and in real buildings.
Trauma
"The Act of Killing is pretty wild."
Sundazed
"The Look of Silence. Family of the victims watching The Act of Killing and decide to meet the killers."
Lexlexleeee
"I was a therapist for survivors of war trauma for years. This movie was fascinating and horrifying. I hadn’t spent a lot of time thinking about the torturers, just the tortured. But most humans are not equipped for hurting others. This knowledge is reassuring and mortifying."
Sad Best Friends GIF by Lisa VertudachesGiphy"There isn’t a lot of free will to be exercised in a war. War is a meat grinder, it’s just disgusting every time. There is no justification good enough, no glory, there’s just the propaganda machine of war. We’re not meant to kill each other. How dare we ask others to kill for us, then bring home the survivors, call them heroes, but shame and silence them when they tell us how they suffered following the orders they were given."
madestories
Return to Sender
"Dear Zachary: A Letter to a Son About His Father is a devastatingly disquieting documentary."
Both_Feed_601
"It's just so disturbing because the woman was so obviously unhinged, and she was continually allowed access to the child."
DamnGoodOwls
"Yep and as soon as I said this guy has a great friend, I hope his son appreciates what his friend is doing for him. I wonder where his son is now, then you get the bombshell, and I was pure seething rage at that moment."
NE_GBR
No one knew...
"There’s Something Wrong with Aunt Diane."
Kelsburger2go
"While I'm fairly certain that her husband and sister-in-law are mostly pushing the she had a medical issue, no one could have seen this coming narrative to reduce liability in the subsequent lawsuits, my major takeaway from this doc was just how many people have no idea that their loved one is an alcoholic."
"I'm an alcoholic, and for the majority of my active addiction, no one knew. I drank mugs of red wine first thing in the morning from the 4L box I kept by my bed. I did shots of whiskey before major presentations to keep myself loose. I can tell you with 100% certainty that if you met me during that decade, there was no way I was sober. I worked in finance and did client meetings/presentations eight hours a day, five days a week."
"And I was so incredibly drunk the whole time. No one knew, and I know this because when I got sober two years ago, multiple people who had spent significant amounts of time with me during my drunk years were shocked that I thought I had a problem - 'You only drink on weekends!' No, you only saw me drink on weekends."
"Alcoholics don't all wander the earth falling over, slurring, and pissing their pants. For some of us, we just get what we need to survive the day and make sure nothing can stop that from happening. Like letting pesky family members who could cut us off in on the secret."
"ETA: If you need support in figuring out your relationship with alcohol, r/stopdrinking is a great place to start asking questions."
archersarrows
Manipulations...
"Tickled was pretty f**ked up."
CliffMcFitzsimmons
"Cannot believe I had to scroll this far down to see this. This documentary is insane. It has such a simple premise, then it gets weird, then it gets weirder, then it gets downright scary, and by the end, you are made painfully aware of how easy it is to manipulate other people’s lives and their public perception if you have enough money."
yakayummi·
Hell on Earth
"'Killing Fields,' the movie documenting the slaughter of millions of Cambodians at the hands of Pol Pot's people. Skulls, pelvises, and spines lying everywhere in the blood-filled ditches. The purest form of Hell on Earth."
D**kpuncher_Dan
"Late to the party here, but if you can find a copy of A Cambodian Odyssey by Dr. Haing Ngor, grab it with both hands and don’t let go."
"Dr. Ngor played Dan Prith in the movie, but he himself has the most amazing and tragic story of surviving the Khmer Rouge. Made it to America, won an Oscar… and was gunned down in LA. I treasure my copy of the book."
LadySiren
Appalachia
"The Wild and Wonderful Whites of West Virginia. Follows the White family who just completely neglects their kids, the parents, rampant drug and alcohol abuse, and attempted murder. It’s a sad look at the daily life of severely impoverished folks in stereotypical Appalachia."
InvalidUserNemo
SHOOK
Oh No Wow GIF by The Great British Bake OffGiphy"Evil genius, is a true crime story of a pizza man who robs a bank with a bomb around his neck. He is a victim of some very disturbed people."
Suzzert
"I was shook by this one. I love documentaries and am rarely really affected by them, but this one did it. Just knowing that you are going to die and no one can help you. And we see it unfold in front of us… chilling."
marabouxroux
Documentaries are too much.
I need fiction.
