People Break Down Which Behaviors Scream 'I'm Insecure'
Everyone has insecurities.
Be it speaking in public, wearing beach attire, or even one's profession, very few people don't have at least one topic of conversation that is bound to make them red in the face.
Some people are pretty adept at hiding their discomfort and can manage to persevere through their phobias with their dignity intact.
Others are not so lucky and often go to great lengths to hide their insecurities, only to make them even more apparent.
Redditor Dear_Coyote_ was eager to learn the tell-tale signs of someone's insecurities, leading them to ask:
"What screams 'I’m insecure'?"
The Wisest People Are Those Always Willing To Learn
"When people are unable to admit that they don’t know something."- slimytoadsnot listening no way GIFGiphy
Other People's Success Are Not Your Failures
"Mocking someone else's achievement."- SuvenPan
Never Pick Yourself Up By Taking Others Down
"Belittling others."- Term-Haunting
"Always talking badly about others and trying to make them look weak/bad."- PildithThe Simpsons GIF by MOODMANGiphy
Maybe Honesty Isn't Always The Best Policy...
"When you're quick to be 'brutally honest' with others, but have a meltdown when someone does it back to you."-eF240uKX52hp
Not As Funny As They Think...
"People who tear other people down as a joke but then get mad when they get it handed back to them."
"Clearly they either aren’t joking or are too sensitive to be dishing out sh*t."- babythrottlepop
Being On Top Adds More Possibilities Of Falling Down...
"Trying to one-up people in every conversation."- Flanky_Bwai
"One upping people in conversation."
"If I tell you I had a great trip to X place, I don’t need to hear about your better trip to someplace else that’s ostensibly 'better'."- I_Am_The_Grapevinekristen wiig television GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy
Some Things Speak For Themselves...
"Constantly saying what kind of person you are."
"If you were, you wouldn’t have to tell us."- ubereddit
A Little Contrition Goes A Long Way...
"Making excuses and even twisting the facts but never apologize."- SuvenPan
But Enough About Me, What Do You Think Of Me?
"Constant projection and self-serving compliments."- nhabzLook At Me Kiki GIF by The Bachelor AustraliaGiphy
What Are They Even Trying To Prove?
"Revving your vehicle loudly every time you pass another person."- msnmck
Superior By Association
“'You will address me by my husband’s rank!'”- Psychological-Stay16
"Elaborate Instagram and Facebook posts declaring love for one’s significant other over and over and over."- jbmaunHappy Married At First Sight GIF by LifetimeGiphy
Always Needing Validation
"People who can’t think or feel anything without being told that it’s okay to do so."- Diesel07012012
It's sad that so many people think the only way to overcome something which makes them embarrassed or afraid is by embarrassing or demeaning others.
When being open and honest about your insecurities might, instead, result in your finding common ground with others.
And making new, lifelong friends in the process.
People With ADHD Or OCD Share The Worst Intrusive Thoughts They've Ever Had
The mind is such a brilliant yet fragile instrument.
There is so much to learn about how it works and some information we'll never fully know.
The struggle with dealing with our thoughts can be neverending.
It can be especially difficult for people with other issues to deal with.
People who survive with certain disorders already have a rough time.
And keeping one's darkest thoughts silent can be a nightmare unto itself.
Redditor Sinaasappelsien was hoping certain people would share some of their most difficult inner thoughts, so they asked:
"Those with ADHD or OCD, what’s the worst intrusive thought you’ve ever had?"
I don't have either symptom, but I can empathize.
Intrusive thoughts haunt us all and it's a lot to take in.
ConsentJim Carrey Reaction GIF by LaffGiphy
"Maybe you're in a 'Truman Show' type situation, what would you want your audience to hear?"
"The answer now is mostly 'I do not consent to be in a 'Truman Show type situation.' I'm 99.9% sure that's not what's happening, BUT I do still say it out loud every once in a while, just in case."
"I tend to imagine injuries in excruciating detail. One time when I was in college, working in the kitchen, I remember walking past an industrial-sized mixer with a dough hook as big as my arm, and I was immediately hit with the image of my leg getting caught in it, and the force of the motor snapping my knee and leg bones and winding my flesh around the shaft until it shredded and tore free - like when you're trying to break the hip joint to get a leg off of a roast chicken."
Sick to my stomach...
"I've had some absolutely abhorrent and terrifying intrusive thoughts that torture me all the time. My therapist told me that intrusive thoughts are your brain trying to purge the things you find absolutely disgusting and awful and I try to remember that but it still makes me sick to my stomach. I cope the best I can but torture really is the best descriptor for experiencing consistent intrusive thoughts."
"I have Excoriation disorder, which is a type of OCD, and what it means is that if I see any kind of spot on my skin, I pick at it until it’s gone. And what I mean when I say 'pick' is that I will find whatever sharp object there is (my preferred object is thumbtacks) and I will dig until I’m satisfied that it’s gone. It could be 5 minutes, it could be 5 hours."
"Pain doesn’t faze me. Blood doesn’t faze me. I have dug down to the bone before with a thumbtack because I thought there was a lump in my pinky finger. I also have a severe anxiety disorder, which means that if I can’t get 'out' whatever I believe is in my skin, I have a panic attack. It isn’t to self-harm- I don’t do it to hurt myself."
"I just do it because I can’t relax until I get out whatever I think is on/in my skin. I haven’t had a severe picking episode in about 9 months, thanks to really good meds and mental health care. But yeah- without that, the intrusive thought that 'something is in there and I HAVE to get it out' would destroy me."
Again and AgainBritney Spears Reaction GIFGiphy
"Along with intrusive thoughts is the intrusive music. All the time never stops. Just broken snippets, 'Oops I did it again, oops I did it again, oops I did it again' over and over til I think I’m going mad!!!"
Random music in the brain.
I've been kept up nights over the music.
And there is no volume dial.
WTF?!Dying Classic Film GIF by Warner ArchiveGiphy
"I get one regularly that’s a vivid image of me digging out the artery in my wrist with a fish hook and then snapping it like a rubber band."
"If my bedroom isn't clean or tidy when I lay down to sleep, I picture bugs, rodents, etc climbing over me in bed. Not far off because my last condo building had such a bad mouse infestation. Ugh. I'm itchy just thinking about it now."
"I have to check my room every night for spiders, the same routine every night no matter how tired I am. I hate it. I'm convinced if I don't check, it'll be the one night a big one crawls on me, and that did happen once, so the compulsion to check is now very much set in stone. :( "
"I love getting constant reminders about my absolute worst memories, ranging from 'WTF was I thinking' to redeem now for a free panic attack. I considered typing one out but stared at that last full stop for a minute before snapping out of it and reconsidering lol. I’ve gotten very good at forgetting things. It’s for the best."
"I've been getting bad claustrophobia attacks on the train lately. The moment it gets too crowded I start thinking about the trains to Auschwitz and how the people were trapped in there for days at a time, squeezed in like sardines, with no bathroom breaks, no room to stretch, freezing or sweltering, starving or panicking or dying... Sorry. You asked."
RitualsI Hope Please GIFGiphy
"I have to pray before bed or my father won't wake up the next morning."
"OCD rituals hit hard. I hope it doesn’t cause you too much distress, but I understand how exhausting it can be."
Our thoughts can really be our enemy.
If you suffer some intrusive thoughts, there are plenty of medical resources out there for you. .
Of all the entertainment tropes out there, an endlessly popular one has to be time travel.
With a surge in movies centering around time travel, multiverses, and simply time-bending, it's time to vote for the most elite of the trope.
Redditor Upstairs-Paper-2079 asked:
"What is the best time travel movie?"
The Time Traveler's Wife
"'Time Traveler's Wife' was a beautiful movie (and book) once you realize the movie is about her, not him."
"'Source Code' was cool as h**l for how it implied multiverse theory."
"The ending didn’t make sense, though, within the context of the established plot."
"They wanted the happy Hollywood ending. Logic be d**ned."
"It would have been a perfect movie if it had ended at the freeze frame. Such a missed opportunity."
The History of Time Travel
"'The History of Time Travel.' It is told as a documentary. And, through the film the story changes. By the end of the movie, even its title has changed to, 'The Theory of Time Travel.'"
"It is easily the best time-travel movie hands down. No action taken during the entire movie changes the past or future. There is no beginning and no end to the story, it's an absolute perfect loop. It's also a movie that gifts you new things with every re-watch."
"Can confirm. Rewatched it recently and it stands the test of time."
Life On Mars
"It’s not a movie, but 'Life on Mars' is absolutely incredible. A police detective gets hit by a car in 2002 and wakes up in 1973 in Manchester, England."
Somewhere in Time
"'Somewhere in Time.' Not the best, but it deserves a mention."
"It's probably one of the most logically consistent time travel movies."
"This needs to be said more often about '12 Monkeys.' In addition to the stellar acting (especially Brad Pitt), the story is watertight. There's never any indication that Cole can, will, or is expected to change the past; he's simply there on a fact-finding mission and what's happened has happened, and always will."
Meet the Robinsons
"'Meet the Robinsons.'"
"The ending makes me WEEP every time."
"The non-animated picture of Tom Selleck absolutely slays me every time."
"'About Time' is a weird movie because it's not quite a conventional story."
"There's no real conflict or climax; the protagonist has everything he needs to solve problems right from the beginning and usually finds a workable solution shortly after encountering every problem."
"The closest thing to a conflict is the act of confronting the natural flow of aging and coping with the fact that your life is different as you get older."
"It's more just a character study and a look at how a person would grow and change over their life."
"I think that's the point. Life (and, of course, death) are two unstoppable forces. Even if you are armed with the most powerful tool in the universe - Time Travel, you are still subject to these two forces. Time comes for us all."
"For me, the point was to enjoy life... all of it. The good and the bad. These experiences enrich and invigorate us. And, I know I'm drifting into more argumentative grounds here...but death is not the end. Not by a long shot."
Edge of Tomorrow
"Edge of Tomorrow."
"My friend bugged me about watching this movie for years. It seemed stupid. The name made it sound like the most generic action movie ever for Tom Cruise to run in and the marketing didn't help."
"I had no idea it was a time travel movie and by the end of it it had become my favorite time travel movie. Seriously the best time loop plotline since 'Groundhog Day.'"
"I really do think the name held it back from garnering more interest from large swaths of people but I also think the original working title 'Live, Die, Repeat' may have given away too much."
"Honorable mentions for 'Terminator' 1 and 2, '12 Monkeys,' and 'Hot Tub Time Machine.'"
"The best thing about primer, and what I would assert is the point of the movie also confuses a lot of people."
"The characters do not understand time travel."
"They built it, but are messing with forces they don’t understand. Their explanations throughout the movie are wrong. Not hugely wrong, but just enough to really matter."
"This s**t is dangerous and confusing, don’t do time travel."
Back to the Future
"Back to the Future."
"I never met anyone who disliked 'Back to the Future.' No hate at all. Their movies are just perfect."
"It’s not the best in terms of cinematic experience (think grand-scale action like T2 or Edge of Tomorrow) but I was pleasantly surprised by Palm Springs recently. Just a gem I think more should check out."
"I streamed this movie having no idea what the premise of it was, I thought it was just going to be a normal romcom. Probably the best way to experience it."
"Arrival is a fantastic film that I think fully qualifies as a time travel movie (though you may have to alter your definition of 'travel')."
Time travel may always be one of those tropes that is just elusive enough that people can keep making interesting, mind-bending stories that "break" the rules of time travel.
That is at least assuming we never figure out how to do it!
There's no one way to successfully raise a child.
Tons of books on parenting are available to offer guidance and they are suggestions drawing on different experiences and perspectives.
But who needs books? Not all the answers can be found in them since every situation is different.
Raising children successfully is typically achieved by first-time parents who fake it 'til they make it.
When it comes to talking about the birds and the bees, that's one topic that both parents and prepubescent children tend to be very evasive about discussing.
Sometimes "the talk" is awkward, but other times, it is extremely successful.
Wanting to highlight the positives on the topic,Redditor babyyyylilith asked:
"What is the best sex-related advice your parents ever told you?"
First starters, Redditors normalized various sexual situations.
"My parents didn’t want to have the talk with me so they had our family friend do it. He said and I quote 'your body is going through a lot of changes and your going to get urges to do some weird sh*t. It’s all normal. Unless you are like rubbing dead puppies on your body, then come see us for help.'"
"When my dad caught 13-year-old me with a Playboy. I was terrified, but he said not to worry, it was normal to be curious. Then he said the wisest thing: 'Just remember, most women do NOT look like that.'”
Dispensing With Stigma
"Honestly, I don't think that having 'a' talk or 'the' talk is the best idea, anyways. My wife and I have raised a pretty amazing young man, and we've never had 'the talk.'"
"We've simply never been afraid of the topic, and have never avoided it (while being proactive here and there as well). So over the years it's been a subject that comes up, and we discuss it just like any other topic."
"I feel that this is a much better idea than building up to a huge moment for 'the talk.' Doing this this just makes it a huge deal that will embarrass you and your child, teaching them that sex is shameful, even if that is not your intention. Besides, how can you cover everything in a meaningful way with only one talk?"
There is a thing as sex etiquette.
"To take a shower before it."
"and after too."
"My father used to say:"
"Remember, It is better if you take a shower every time you are going to have sex."
"Just before it or just after it?"
"No son. Just instead."
A Medical Expert Weighs In
"Not my parents, but awkwardly and unexpectedly, my family doctor:"
"Teenage boys and even early 20-something men are horny, barely know what they're doing, and barely remember to wash their balls. Don't even let them touch you unless they show through their actions that they genuinely respect you, care about you, and like you as much as you like them. And even then always use a condom no matter if you're on other birth control because babies aren't the only thing you can pick up from sex. And never get with a guy who's hounding you for it."
Parents continued being very open about the topic.
"My dad held up my baby bro and told me that if i wasn’t careful this is what would happen lol"
"if you're not careful you'll have another baby brother"
Father Knows Best
"My dad gave me a sex talk when I was in my teens that pretty explicit about how a woman’s body needs attention and time to be ready for sex."
"He also gave me a book called 'the guide to getting it on.' And suggested I read it and he’d answer any questions."
"By the time I was having sex, I felt very confident about how it worked and how to make women feel good."
"I’ve tried to keep building up my skills and knowledge over the years - different courses and books."
"Partners have always been complimentary. I can thank dear ol’ dad for that."
A Woman Backs Up
'how a woman’s body needs attention and time to be ready for sex.'
"As a woman, this is seriously good advice. Too many men learn how sex works from porn and get this inaccurate idea that women can just GO. We need time and prep work. You wouldn't start your car in the winter and automatically expect the geater to blow warm air, women aren't hot immediately either."
Mother Knows Best
"My mom: 'Sex is great, but it's absolutely never worth compromising on your values or your self-respect.'""
Directly followed up with"
"Walk away from any guy who tries to pressure or intimidate you into doing stuff with him. Don't waste time with guys who think they're entitled to your body. Don't fall for shallow flattery and be manipulated. Just walk. You are not missing out on anything. "
"As kids, my mom always taught me and my siblings about being compassionate and kind to other people as well as being responsible and honest and respectful all those things parents try get into their kids' heads to help them turn out right. I was 14-15 when my mom sat me down and impressed on me that not everyone in the world has good-hearted and respectful intentions, and that I need to keep this especially in mind when it comes to how people act when romance and sex come into the picture."
"It was a new layer to the lessons she gave me growing up and I took it to heart. It's advice that has served me very well."
"My mom: You know what people who practice the pull out method are called? Parents."
"In all seriousness though, my mom answered any questions I had and even helped me get a doctor's appointment arranged when I decided I wanted to be on the pill. I'm eternally grateful that she made it easy to go to her for any questions or advice"
Importance Of Open Conversations
"I was almost exclusively interested in women (as a woman) for my late teen years, so a lot of the time my mom's advice and open conversation seemed irrelevant to me, but it meant so much to me that she had such an open conversation with me about sex and questions that didn't seem important until I started dating a man and told her 'hey I'm gonna sleep with a guy let's talk birth control ' and she immediately booked me an iud installation. Open comfortable conversation with mom is so important, it really sets the tone. If my mom hadn't been pro sex and talk id definitely be a whole a** mom by now."
For many parents, teaching their kids about sex is such a taboo subject, and it shouldn't be.
The more the topic is stigmatized, the more it can be confusing for a child going through puberty and feeling shameful about the changes they're experiencing.
That was me. I can't say for sure if it's a culture thing, but sex doesn't seem to be something Japanese parents comfortably talk about with their kids.
This is way off topic but the tentativeness around discussing sex in Asian cultures is fascinating to me, because many depictions of sex in erotica in various forms are some of the most wildly perverse and imaginative visuals I've ever seen.
It's not a stretch to think that Asian pre-teens learn more from anime and manga about sex than from their parents.
If you don't know what I'm talking about, you might want to do some research into some of these very graphically suggestive illustrations.
It's a wild journey down the rabbit-hole.
People In Relationships Reveal How They Feel About Giving Their Partner Unlimited Access To Their Phone
"What's yours is mine, and what's mine is yours."
A common ideology when people enter committed romantic relationships.
This doesn't mean, however, that people don't still appreciate a moment or two of privacy, even from the person to whom they are otherwise committed, body and soul.
Particularly when it comes to their phones.
While some people have no concern about their partners seeing anything they have stored on their phones, others might prefer that everything found on their phones stays away from their partner's eyes.
Be it for a text chain they'd rather remain private, or to avoid judgment for their choice of apps, knowing their partner would disapprove, or would at the very least mock them endlessly.
"Redditors in a relationship, how do you feel about your partner having full access to your phone such as text messages, photos, your apps, everything?"
Context Is Everything
"I wouldn't care unless the openness was only one way or constantly being used as a tool to constantly unsuccessfully prove I'm being unfaithful."- varthalon
"It's strange because i wouldn't care if someone looked through my phone, I have nothing to hide."
"BUT someone demanding that they can look through it is a massive red flag."- BunnyMcRabbitsonRed Flag Nascar GIF by Richard Childress RacingGiphy
"I don't care."
"There's nothing there."
"I can get on her phone, too."
"But I don't want to."
"Being married 40+ years does that to you, I guess."- mike11172
"Been married 33 yrs."
"My husband can access everything if he wants."
"I don't care in the least."
"Not much to see."- chalisa0
"I don't care if my husband looks through my phone, emails or whatever else."- galactictictac·so what who cares tv show GIFGiphy
Go Right Ahead
"Worst she'll find in my dumb searches."- Iisham
Nothing To Worry About
"My partner and I have each other's passwords but don't go through each other's stuff because he's always had an iPhone, I've always had an Android, and we don't know how to work the other OS."- abominable-ho-man
"The hell they gonna find, pictures of our cats?"
"Have at 'er..."- miffy495Cats Ducking GIF by MOODMANGiphy
Couldn't Stop Him If They Tried...
"He knows all my passwords."- LunaTic0922
Allow It? I Encourage It!
"My husband has full access to my phone and my passwords and I have full access to his."
"I would trust him with my life without any hesitation, I definitely don’t mind knowing that he has access to my phone."- Hekatevenstar
"Not a problem."
"I don't keep secrets and my sweetie isn't the jealous type."- XylorgosGood Night Hug GIF by JinGiphy
"I don't allow it."
"My friends and family occasionally tell me things in confidence that my husband doesn't need to know."- feral_hippie
"I consider it to be a red flag."
"Now, you might think 'Well if you're not doing anything wrong, then you have nothing to hide from your partner', right?"
"However, that doesn't invalidate my privacy."
"Not every little conversation and every little interaction has to be up for review."
"It also speaks to going into a relationship with an immense lack of trust or faith, which leads me to wonder why you'd engage with someone else to begin with."- MenagerieMiyamoto
"Married over 20 years."
"If I can't have some measure of privacy then I'd rather be alone."- SouthernerdNo No No GIFGiphy
Sharing Is Caring
"He's my partner it's fine, I see no issue."
"I'm not acting weird or crazy or creating some kind of suspicious environment to where we're snooping in each other's phones."
"The best thing about having nothing to hide, your brain can relax, you don't need to lie and you can."
"Leave things where you set then and not worry, like a phone on the table instead of carrying it all the time."- Hachimon1479
If there's anyone who one should feel free to share absolutely anything and everything with, it's their romantic partner.
Even so, everyone has a right to privacy, and everyone has the right to fill their phone with whatever content they like, without judgment or stress.