
Adopted families are unique. First, in how they come together to create a unit, but second, in revealing to established family their clan is going to grow. Telling friends and cousins and parents can be exciting, but telling children you already have can be a more unique experience, especially for the kids hearing they're about to get a new sister/brother.
Reddit user, u/miyahori, wanted to know about this particular circumstance when they asked:
Siblings of adopted kids, what's it like to have an adopted brother/sister? How did your parents tell you they were adopting?
"It's Just An Open Fact."
My older sister was adopted from India, but because she was adopted before I was born, I don't think I was ever explicitly told. It's just an open fact in my family.
Growing up it was a bit weird because she's definitely my sister, and I don't feel like she's any lesser a sibling just because we don't look similar, but that possibility will never even cross other people's minds if they pass us in the street. Plus, I got to see the stupid irrationality of racism up close because random people in the street or at work would tell her to "go back to where you came from".
They assume she's an immigrant or a foreigner. But she isn't. She has an Australian accent and she's my sister. She's Australian.
But I have 5 siblings total and none of us look anything alike, so she doesn't really stand out in the family. Between us, we cover all eye colours, hair colours, skin tones, and personalities/interests. We're all different, so why do her "differences" warrant being abused on the street?
"We Thought It Was The Coolest Thing."
I have two adopted siblings, a brother and a sister. After having my other bio sibs (another brother and sister), my parents thought they were done, but my mom really wanted to make a difference doing something for kids, so she started doing Foster Care when we were 15, 12 and 3. My adopted bro was one of the earlier kids to come into our home and after caring for him for about a year, and realizing he'd been up for adoption, my mom started to push my dad about adopting. He wasn't really for it at first, nothing against him, he just thought they were done raising kids, but he came around.
Us other kids were thrilled to have an extra brother. We thought it was the coolest thing. Fast forward another 5 or 6 years and we found ourselves in a similar situation. We had a baby girl my family was caring for and she was with us for over a year. Very long story with her adoption, but we added another sib to the family.
My dad's glad he came around to the idea now. He's my brother's basketball coach, helps my sister in softball, and couldn't imagine life without them.
My parents have always been open with the kids, who are 7 and 13 today, about having been adopted; it's not a secret. We've also been open with sharing information we have about their bio parents if they ask (mostly my brother wanted to know how tall his dad was because he's worried about his height). For all of us, it hasn't felt any different than having "real" family members. Family is what you make it.
If it were up to me, I'd have a bunch more adopted siblings but there is a financial component to having a bunch of kids, and as my mom puts it "We're getting too old".
"...Make Life Equal."
My older brother is adopted from South Korea so he was here about 6 months before I was born. I have never known any different. I learned he was adopted when I was 5. My parents had a running joke about me always telling people they purchased my brother from a store, because 5 year old me really thought that was what adoption meant.
The one thing i have realized now that I am an adult is that my mother tried really hard to make life equal. If she took me to get food after a doctor appt she'd take my brother the next day. If she gave me 20 bucks to go to the movies she gave him 20 bucks too. The hardest part growing up was the fact that my brother was the only asian person in almost our entire county. Small, rural Midwestern town. He faced a lot of racism growing up and it took him until he was 22 to embrace his heritage and start to try the food and learn the culture. I love him and couldn't imagine life without him in it.
"So It Just Kinda Happened..."
It all happened with us when we were very young. So it just kinda happened and we had a brother that looked different. When people ask me about it I figure that my parents did a great job because my only response is, "it's exactly like having a normal sibling except every once in a while people ask you what it's like".
"...seemed completely normal to me..."
My sister was adopted as an infant when I was five. I sort of understood it at the time. Far more than I understood when my mom lost a child when I was three. She's my sister. Period. Never been any debate about that.
Now, 40+ years later, its no different. She knows who her birth mother is and has communicated with her sisters, mostly because she wanted a medical history of her lineage before she had kids. But she's my sister, and nothing will ever change that.
It may be a little different for families that adopt older children, but for me - she's my flesh and blood, period. Love you sis.
Edit: an added note, adoption was something that just seemed completely normal to me my whole life. My grandparents adopted two girls when my Dad and his brother were in their teens. They are and always have been my aunts.
Every Situation Is Different
Oh, I was excited to respond. But all my siblings were adopted out, I'm the youngest and the only one raised by my mom. But I know all my sisters, and knew most of their families.
My oldest and third oldest and I don't talk anymore.
My second oldest sister was raised by my grandma, and we're the closest.
My third oldests' adoptive mom makes the best cheesecake?
"...a long and messy story..."
It's a bit weird at times, (not because of the adoption part) but he's 20 years younger than I am and black...so when I'm out doing things with him, we tend to get weird looks and people question if he's my brother or if my mom had an affair-or if I cheated on my husband and he's my son. But he's awesome and I love him.
When he was adopted though, my mom was an (and still is to some degree) an Nparent. I came home one day, to see my brother in his high school play. (I rarely came home in those days, because I was constantly fighting with my mom). I opened the door and this small kid was there and was like "Who are you?" and I was like "jessdb19" and asked him "who are YOU" and he was like "My name-I live here!" So my mom had adopted him and not told me about him, or him about me.
I kind of called the agency and reamed them a bit for not contacting me, because they SHOULD be contacting all siblings. Talked to the gal that was the case worker and she was...a bit surprised to hear I even existed. Had been removed from being a part of the family, since they didn't' want me throwing a wrench in the situation. My mom wanted another kid and my feelings of her could have thrown doubt, so she had said she just had the two kids.
The whole thing is a long and messy story, so I'll leave it at that.
Just Like Any Other
I have a little brother who was adopted and now I absolutely adore him! I cannot imagine our family any other way.
At the time though, it was hard to understand. He was a little older when we adopted him (around 3) and I was 10, and I'll never forget the feeling of driving home with a child after we picked him up and knowing this kid who we didn't know anything about was never leaving. It was a tough adjustment (partly because he didn't speak our language yet) for a couple years but once he settled in and got comfortable it's just like any other sibling
You'll Mess Up A Lot At First
My little brother is 11 and we adopted him from Ethiopia at 6 months old, so he doesn't remember any other family. I was 7 then, so I don't really remember anything except that I was pumped to have a baby brother. He occasionally gets really mad and threatens to get on a plane and go back to his "real mother", but only if he's super super angry. We sort of fucked up for the first 5 or so years of his life by getting him short/shaved haircuts, but someone was nice enough to let my parents know that hair is really important particularly for black guys.
He goes to a great barber now and one of my dad's colleagues (who is also black) takes him sometimes. The only hard part about having a brother who's a different race is that we have to talk to him about police brutality and such. We live in the Bay Area so there's a lot of that here, and he's old enough to potentially be seen as a "threat". Other than that, I guess it's just like having a biological brother.
Annoying, But We Love Him
My parents decided to adopt my younger brother when he was around 2 years old. Process took forever and he finally came to stay with us when he was 5. My parents obviously never had to tell him he was adopted because he is aware of this fact.
Now, it's weird to imagine my family without him. The fact that he's adopted doesn't even cross my mind.
He is, however, annoying. Really annoying. Guess that comes with the young teenage boy territory.
Different, But Ours
My older sister was adopted from China as an infant about 3 years before I was born. They had the conversation with us when I was young enough that it was never a big deal. She looked different (black hair, dark skin compared to me and all of the younger siblings red hair and pale skin) but she was still our sister.
I think they told us that when a family had a baby it doesn't matter how they get them, it just matters if they love them. My dad and his siblings are all adopted as well, and we adopted other's kids when I was older. The idea of family being based on love instead of blood is super big in our house
Just Always Been...
I have two younger sisters, one is adopted the other one is biologically my sister. I was just four when the adopted sister came into our family. It seemed completely normal at the time, never considered that it might have been unusual, and she has always simply just simply just been my younger sister (42 now).
She recently had a son herself, and it has make her much more curious about her own biological parents than she has been in the past.
From The Beginning, That's How It Was
I have a sister adopted from India. She's currently 6 coming on 7.
It's pretty much like having a sister from the beginning. After a while, you just kinda forget she wasn't always there.
We let her know she was adopted quite often, but we follow it up by making sure she knows it doesn't change the fact that we love her.
"I Honestly Can't Imagine Our Family Without Him"
My youngest brother is adopted and has been with us for 21 years now.
At the time Mum and Dad asked us if we wanted to have another baby brother and my younger blood siblings and I agreed (6 and under). We had books about adoption and we talked about it for ages. It felt nice knowing we were helping him and no matter what he is always my brother. Love him to death! I honestly can't imagine our family without him :)
"...Cool."
I've got a little brother who's adopted. He was a teenager at the time, and most of the rest of us were teenagers/adults too, so my dad just kind of told me "adopting the kid" and I said "cool". Basically the short story of what happened was that one of my other little brothers took him home to stay for a weekend as a friend. Our dad and his wife said "come back anytime". And well, now he's adopted.
He's a cool kid, he's just one of us. I'm kind of 'half-adopted' too anyway, and there are 'half-sibling' sets too, so 'siblings' to us is just sort of exactly who we want us to be.
I'm kind of 'half-adopted' too anyway,
do you mind expanding? I'm interested
I'm technically a nephew/cousin. I was never formally adopted, but my uncle (the 'dad' guy) was my guardian and they all treat me like a son/brother.
Do you come from a mixed family with adopted siblings? Tell us all about it!
Short of having a shopping addiction, no one actually likes spending money on stuff.
Why would you ever willingly give it away? It's your money!
Which might be why it feels so bad when you have to spend money of something that should be free from the beginning. People/ corporations are going to chase that cheddar, though, so there's little you can do besides complain, which frankly might be the best thing the internet is for.
Reddit user, woodside37, wanted to know what we should never have to pay for again when they asked:
"What should be free?"
Let's get these out of the way first...No, let's get this first one out of the way first.
Hidden fees are the worst.
Hidden. F***ing. Fees.
"Transaction/processing fees when you order a digital product online. Such as a concert ticket, where you pay 6 euro extra while you pay online, and have to print the ticket yourself."
rickmitchel
"Or processing fees to pay bills that you need. Duke energy charges a $7 processing fee for you to pay your energy bill. Like wtf."
CrispyCrunchyPoptart
Pay To Pee
"Public bathrooms! The amount of human piles of poop around because the homeless have no where to relieve themselves!"
AuntyMarcy
"Live in a very tourist-y part of the U.K., all public toilets charge and most cafes/pubs/libraries won’t let people use their toilets. As someone who lives here year round it’s really frustrating and doesn’t seem to make sense."
JonesNewport83
Want A Better Society? Educate Them.
"College. Or at the very least, college APPLICATIONS. If you're gonna require it for most careers, atleast make it accessible for people. And I just think it's stupid that people have to pay to get rejected."
callmeventibcimavent
"Oh god I hate that so much. Same with applying to apartments it’s such a waste of money if you don’t get approved. It racks up quickly too."
Kydra96
It does feel grimy when "official documentation" that is "mandatory" has to be bought and paid for not by the people requiring it, but by the people needing it.
Forcing Us To Pay For Something We're Forced To Have
"ID cards issued by the government. Especially since you need them for almost every aspect of daily living."
waqasnaseem07
"I. Exist."
"Birth certificates"
alexchico3
"I'm not the biggest fan of free stuf but having to pay for a piece of paper that says "I exist" is ridiculous."
Spaghetti-Evan1991
It'll never not feel bad having to pay for something we expect to be free, but it feels ten times worse when it's something you need to get by in life. As in, need to live.
Let's All Agree To Take Care Of Each Other
"All base needs up to a level. I mean stuff we need to survive, eg. power, water,... and things we are required to use to be relevant in daily life internet,..."
"Seeing how now power companies are fuel companies are having THE biggest profit in years while more and more families are pushed into bigger and bigger deths just to get by."
"Same goes for internet tbh, poor kids are just not getting by in school becasue they lack the basic stuff every other kid has to get further in life. I am not saying they need the fastest possible internet with unlimited dl, but give them so they can work for school so the vicious cycle can be broken."
Amelsander
We Need It More Than Anyone
"All mental health services. If you don’t have benefits or a VERY good paying job, they are unaffordable for how often most people really need them. At $120-160/ session even once a week is not affordable for most people these days"
pennylayne77
A Fine Line Between Need And Want
"Water"
selfishnerd77
"Drinking water, sure. But water is an expendable resource and it should honestly be more restricted when we think about cases like people watering their lawns."
I_Am_Become_Dream
Paying To Live
"Insulin. People are dying because of greedy pharmaceutical companies."
Astronimus123
"But We're 'Pro-Life'" - Jerks
"Birth control of all kinds."
"For anyone who b*tches about spending taxpayer money, I'd ask whether it costs more to provide condoms or to house prisoners."
AlexReynard
"Giving birth (In the us)"
z0k0n
"As a female US citizen the more I learn about the whole giving birth sh*t the less I want kids. My friend just had a baby, there were some complications. She is now paying off a 14k hospital bill! The lowest I have hears is 8k. 8k just to have a f-cking kid! For a country that is gung-ho about forcing women to have kids they have missed the mark completely."
Main-Yogurtcloset-82
Everyone is looking for their payout, and unfortunately sometimes we're the ones who have to give it to them, whether it makes sense or not.
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The worst part of having breasts is Florida.
I didn't even say large breasts. Just breasts, any breasts. Florida and breasts are mortal enemies sworn to battle one another into oblivion until the end of days.
In other states, you and your ladies can live a more peaceful life. Here in Florida, it's A Song of Sweat And Fire Ants.
Ever get tiny little jellyfish stuck under your side-boob? Happens here all the time.
Bikinis should come with a "Sand Lice, Your Titty Crease, And You" informational pamphlet.
Wanna jog? Hope you accounted for the fact that the air is soup and will chafe and cauterize your nipples.
Know what limits your field of vision, making you more likely to accidentally step on a snake and/or gator? Boobs.
Know what slows you down as you try to escape the angry reptile from the above paragraph? Also boobs.
Reddit user Saibotnl1 asked:
"What's the most negative thing about having boobs?"
Now take all this stuff they said sucked, and then put it inside of a steam oven filled with mosquitos. That's Florida.
And Florida is incompatibile with breasts.
Cardio Is Hardio
"I love them but running can be a nuisance even in a good sports bra."
- [Reddit]
"When I go to work, there is a woman that usually runs on the shoulder of the road. I gasp at how much her boobs bounce. Isn't that doing damage to tissue? Painful?"
- notanotherbreach
"Yes! I literally always hold mine when going up/down stairs so they dont bounce. Running is uncomfortable even with a good bra :/ "
- k_g94
"If it's a sports bra that holds you, it's so tight that it's impossible to get into or out of without a whole team of people like a pit crew."
"If you can comfortably get into it, it won't hold the girls for long."
"Cardio is just not worth all this."
-[Reddit]
"As a kid I wasn't fit enough for jump rope, but now that I'm older and have the big boobies it feels even more impossible to ever indulge in."
- PoiLethe
Literally In The Way
"They get in the way!!"
"Lately I've been getting frustrated with exercise. My personal trainer will say to hold something a certain way and I'll try but it's so uncomfortable because my boobs are completely in the way."
"She has small boobs so she doesn't account for them being in that space right in front of your chest."
- J09Lynn
"My English teacher in 10th grade was drinking water one day when a few drops landed on his shirt. He then complained about getting older and how he never stuck out far enough to get his shirt wet."
"I just sighed."
"4th grade. 4th grade is when I stuck out too much to avoid drips."
- wheredMyArmourGo
"So very much this."
"I refuse to do mountain climbers when my trainer suggests it, she started to get mad saying it's a great exercise. My retort was that I'd really rather not knee myself in the breasts as part of my workout."
"The lady has small boobs and replied that she had never thought of that!"
- Pauliester
Growing Pains
"Probably growing them."
"It hurts, and if you get big boobs young and quickly, it’s both physical and social agony."
"It hurts to grow them, first of all, your chest aches and bumping them against anything really hurts - and since they’re a sudden, large addition to your body, you’re ALWAYS bumping them on stuff."
"But the social aspect is worse."
"Your female family members comment on them slyly and smirk at your response."
"Your male friends look at you weird and you have to realize they see you as more sexual than girls with smaller chests, even though you literally cannot control this."
"Other girls can be nasty and jealous."
"Eventually I learned to manage all this and I like having breasts now; but from like 11-16 I was so frustrated and upset that I had developed them at all."
- Individual_Ad_7523
Two Volcanos
"The sweat and itch!"
"Also that they're like two volcanos, which isn't especially practical during summers or when you're a constantly hot temperatured person anyway."
- Queen-of-meme
"No matter what I try, the skin under my boobs never cools down!"
- Local_Masterpiece_
"Boob sweat is the bane of my existence when it's even a little bit hot outside - and sometimes even when it's not lol..."
- PleasuredMeatStick
"I hate the feeling of sweat on my boobs. I just put tissue between and underneath my boobs to hopefully absorb the sweat so it won’t start to itch and drip."
- LuckyBugHarley
Technological Advancements
"I STILL am not able to remove them after a long day. Why?!"
"Why can't I just set em aside for the night, all done. Why hasn't technology advanced to this possibility yet??"
- IAmNotLookingatYou
"Absolutely they would. The relief we would get ... oh my god it sounds divine."
"Maybe I wouldn’t be so b*tchy."
- Object_Prize
"I’d honestly probably only wear them for ren faire, and leave them at home the rest of the year."
- AbbyNormalKnits
Double Trouble
"The double standard of girls with small chests and big chests."
"If you have a big chest no matter what you wear or do it's sexual. But for girls with smaller chests they can get away with crop tops or v necks or even swim suits."
- BigBunsLittleBunbun
"Lol the bigger girls who spent their entire grade school years getting sent to the principal's office for breaking dress code will agree with you."
"Loose shirts will tent and billow up in the wind as you walk-- dress coded."
"Tight shirts that don't tent but cling to your chest-- dress coded."
"And don't even think about anything but a crew neckline, or you'll be dress coded again."
- cryptic-coyote
"Exactly!"
"I always got in trouble for wearing dresses in school, but skinny Minnie wearing something even worse gets by no problem just because she doesn't fill it out the way I do."
- APD2269
Expensive
"They're expensive."
"Bras are expensive and you need regular bras, sports bras, probably something special like a strapless or low back if you have a special occasion or something."
"And don't even get me started on women's healthcare ..."
- SailorSpoon11
"Stage 4 breast cancer patient here, and it costs me about an extra $5000/yr to stay alive if everything goes well."
- insertcaffeine
"I just stopped breastfeeding and none of my bras fit anymore."
"I’ve just been wearing sports bras every day because I don’t even know what cup size I am anymore and I don’t want to spend a fortune replacing all of my bras."
- kaytay3000
"Plus if you choose not to wear bras for any number of reasons, you’re treated as deviant or an acceptable target of inappropriate attentions."
- letsjumpintheocean
Getting Comfortable
"Laying on your stomach can be tricky."
- ChadweenaThundervag
"Laying on your back can be tricky as well."
"And on your side."
"Just laying in general with big boobs is a hassle."
- Skkaj225
"Am guy."
"However women in my life have found it difficult to get a decent back massage because of this. I've seen plenty of massage tables with head holes, but none with boob support..."
- DeluxeWafer
"Semi-suffocating yourself on the beach while trying to get some sun on your back is fun."
- Miikami
Either Or
"The fact that I look like a walking refrigerator if I wear a loose fitting top, as it billows shapelessly around my body in an odd fabric rectangle."
"But if I wear something form fitting, I look like a lady of the night and am treated as such."
- batchofbetterbutter
"OMG this !!"
"I feel like all my girlfriends around me have such a fashion sense and can wear things with such grace but I always look as you’ve described. Like either I look like a couch pillow or Jessica Rabbit."
"Sometimes I just want to cut them off honestly."
- octokisu
"Yeah I’ve been wanting a reduction since a was a teen because of the back pain and catcalling, and many people I know with a bigger chest feel the same way."
- didithedragon
"I had no idea women hated their boobs so much! It honestly is shining a light on an idea I have never thought of."
- Peter_the_pear
Attempted Murder
"They might try to kill me."
"Breast cancer runs in my family and I have to have my first mammogram this year at 36."
"My mom was negative for both BRCA genes but there are 6 others they’ve discovered since she had cancer that we haven’t been tested for."
"Insurance won’t cover me to test unless she tests positive for one."
- Outrageous-Proof4630
"Fun fun fun."
"My mom died from breast cancer at 46. I started getting mammograms at 34."
"Luckily, I took the BRCA test and was negative."
- lil_ho_on_da_prairie
It's Constant
"Constantly being sexualized."
"I’m the least sexual person but people assume I’m super sexual because of my body. And I hate it"
- Plus_Bison_7091
"Yup, I'm ace and I honestly just want them chopped off to be rid of the constant sexualization of my body."
"It makes me really uncomfortable."
- zapsquad
"My friend in elementary school had a condition where she went into puberty super early and had large breasts by 3rd grade."
"We would walk together to elementary school every morning and get cat called a lot, but we were too afraid to tell our parents because we thought they wouldn't let us walk together anymore."
"She would have teachers make comments about them."
"When we were older she talked about how insanely awful and alienating it made her feel growing up. Her younger sister had the same condition, but went on puberty blockers for it."
- gentlybeepingheart
Destroyed
"These pendulous bags of hell have destroyed my back."
"Even a decade after a reduction surgery, I remain in daily pain. And now as an added bonus they get to be misshapen, scarred horribly, and completely useless for raising a baby."
- Originalluff
"I didn’t realize how heavy they are until I got together with girl with big boobs and woooooow they are heavy!"
- I_love_pillows
"I got C cups in fifth grade and those f*ckers went all the way to G by senior year."
"My posture was/is awful and I've felt like an old woman since I was a teenager. I don't even want babies, so they're never actually gonna be useful either."
- Rozeline
See what I mean?
They're kind of awful once they hit a certain size, and that size is pretty much ANY size if you're in Florida.
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There are humane ways to tell someone to go home after a... liaison.
How can one be so rude after being so intimate?
I'm not saying you have to snuggle and profess love, but damn, a quick... "thanks, I hope life is kind to you" goes a long way.
Redditor sumyungdood wanted to hear the tea about the times they had to tell a lover to take a hike. They asked:
"What is the worst way someones asked you to leave after sex?"
Tell me your worst. Mine our stories where I had find my clothes in the dark and sneak out naked.
Don't ask...
A Late Run
"Asked if he could drive my car to the gas station to buy cigarettes and when he came back he told me he left my keys in the car and it was running."
TopOcelot13
Beefed
"An old friend invited me over for her famous beef stew. I got there, we fool around, had sex, then right after she handed me a tupperware of the stew and said 'you got sex and stew, now please leave.' Still not sure if that's the worst way I was kicked out or the best."
TheRockMan31
"Most of the people here didn’t get stew. You did okay!"
livesarah
'is it that obvious'
"Went home with a girl from the bar. After we had sex, she said something like 'soooo... think you can get an Uber now? If not, I GUESS you can sleep on the couch for a few hours.' Here I was, sitting on some random girl's couch trying to find an Uber at 4 AM. Mercifully I did find one and when the guy picked me up he said 'so, your hookup kick you out?' I said 'is it that obvious' and he replied 'you weren't the first one I drove back to their car tonight and you probably won't be the last.'"
apocalypticradish
Yummy
"Go grab some Taco Bell. You can eat it on your way home. Honestly it was better than the sex. And I don't even like Taco Bell that much."
Nobody_Wins_13
I hate Taco Bell. And since reading this... I hate people.
Mrs. Robinson?
"She lit a cigarette, then looked at me for like 20 seconds, and said 'Well, bye.' I just got dressed and left. Never saw her again."
Rhalellan
And you are?
"While dozing off, he gently tapped my shoulder, and said: 'Maribel, you can’t stay here.'"
"My name is not Maribel."
tikkichik21
"See this is what happens when you don’t let people talk about Bruno."
Brendanlendan
Go
"He got off me and started looking at pictures of other women on Instagram, and commenting on how much more attractive they were than me and told me 'oh yeah you can go now.' We were best friends for like two years up until that moment."
Caramel_Cappucino
"I’m open minded but this is exactly why I often don’t trust male friendships. You could even be a lesbian and one moment of vulnerability they may take advantage of that. I know it’s unrelated but your experience made me upset and I’m sorry you had to go through that."
L8NiGHTFLiGHT
second time...
"He rolled over, grabbed his phone, and without even looking at me said 'find your clothes, you know where the door is' and just laid there on his phone ignoring me while I gathered my clothes and left. He tried texting me a few days later because he was drunk and horny so I told him 'you know where your hand is' and blocked him."
olivinemultichrome
Gross
"We were good friends for a few years before hooking up after a night of drinking."
"Halfway through sex he told me he can't actually do this because he wanted to get back with his ex and can't mess it up because she's the hottest girl he'll ever be with. He lived in the middle of nowhere and I couldn't leave until the morning so he made me sleep on the couch."
barontayto
Wow. Some people are truly disgusting. How do you treat other humans this way?
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Most couples are inseparable and enjoy doing everything together, thanks in part to shared mutual interests.
But on occasion, some people in relationships go off in pursuit of one-sided pleasures in secret for various reasons.
These can range from going out to a vegan restaurant when the other person is a carnivore to seeing a Netflix show that is too violent for a squeamish significant other.
Because not every significant other may not share the same passion, Redditors TheTinRam asked:
"What’s a guilty pleasure you hide from your significant other?"

These Redditors needed some "me time."
Dad Time
"Everytime I go on a late night grocery run (once or twice a month) because I work nights, and my wife forgot to grab whatever, I add a $0.70 Mexican soda to the cart. It is just for me. It is something my dad used to get me on especially long days when I was a kid 'helping' him on jobsites. It is my tiny reminder of him."
– thecountnotthesaint
Story For No One
"I write stories for years now, some of the times she thinks I'm working on the computer but I'm actually writing a story. There is nothing to hide but I just keep it to myself, none of my family members know I write stories. Till today I have written 56 stories (most of them are short)."
– SuvenPan
In The Wee Small Hours Of The Morning
"Staying up late for peace and quiet."
– Blue_OG_46
Chatting For One
"I talk to myself all the time, I was actually wondering last night if it was a really weird thing to do lol"
– hottytoddy_sko
Naked And Sacred
"I will cruise the house butt naked and just do whatever the hell I want. About once a month. I won’t be able to this summer because the kids will be back in school, but come August, I’ll be naked and free again!"
– batchofbetterbutter
Some people need to get out of the house.
Self Therapy
"Sometimes I take the long way home and talk to myself in the car about my 'problems' - like Self Therapy. I put one earbud in so ppl think I could be on the phone."
"I get quite animated. It helps to get a stressful day out of my system before I get home and switch gears."
– Humble-Plankton2217
Solo Slice
"My husband has gluten sensitivity. If he eats regular pizza, his stomach hurts for a couple of days after."
"Well, I don't, so sometimes I say I'm going for a run, and I do run.... to the pizza store, eat a slice, and run back."
– sohumsahm
Catching Up With The Boys
"Covid has messed it up for a bit now. But every 3 or so months the boys and I all get up like we are going to work at our respective jobs but instead all call in sick and meet for breakfast, then go back to our one buddies place for the day to hangout. Around 4 or 5 one by one we all head home for our normal arrival time."
"It's literally the only way for us all to get together reliably. Most of us have known each other for the better part of 30 years now, going way back to junior kindergarten for some."
"Twice I have let her know my plan for the day and twice I have gotten phone calls to come home early for what ever not some emergency. So now we do it secretly."
– foh242
Some of the things people do behind their SO's backs is for endearing reasons.
Smooch Ploy
"I don’t know if this is a guilty pleasure necessarily but I pretend to be asleep when he comes home from work because he always kisses me on the forehead."
– str8outofabook
Catching Zzzs
"I love when she snores."
"She complains (only lightly) about my snoring all the time, and I always feel awful that I make it tricky for her to get a good night's sleep. When she's snoring, I know she's actually going to rest well, and it makes me happy."
– ricdesi
Scent Of A Man
"Smelling his clothes. Not creepily, like his boxers. But when he lets me borrow a shirt or a sweater I’ll put it on and just revel in the smell of him on his clothes. If I recall correctly, it definitely wasn’t like this when we first started dating. It’s been over two years now and I only remember doing this around the 7 month mark. He smells really, really good."
– he-whoeatsbugs
The Forever Admirer
"I have a whole album of 'unflattering' pictures of her. Not really something I hide, but they make me happy. She’s so silly yet so beautiful."
– Dewahll
They say that a couple that plays together, stays together.
That's all well and good. However, a significant other having some alone time should never be stigmatized.
My husband and I usually watch every TV show together, but I watch Netflix's Ozark by myself because I enjoy intense dramas, immensely.
It's not a secret. And he's glad I watch the shows that I want to watch on my own time–just like I encourage him to watch all those UFO documentaries that he's obsessed with, by himself.
No really, watch them without me.
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