Adopted families are unique. First, in how they come together to create a unit, but second, in revealing to established family their clan is going to grow. Telling friends and cousins and parents can be exciting, but telling children you already have can be a more unique experience, especially for the kids hearing they're about to get a new sister/brother.
Reddit user, u/miyahori, wanted to know about this particular circumstance when they asked:
Siblings of adopted kids, what's it like to have an adopted brother/sister? How did your parents tell you they were adopting?
"It's Just An Open Fact."
My older sister was adopted from India, but because she was adopted before I was born, I don't think I was ever explicitly told. It's just an open fact in my family.
Growing up it was a bit weird because she's definitely my sister, and I don't feel like she's any lesser a sibling just because we don't look similar, but that possibility will never even cross other people's minds if they pass us in the street. Plus, I got to see the stupid irrationality of racism up close because random people in the street or at work would tell her to "go back to where you came from".
They assume she's an immigrant or a foreigner. But she isn't. She has an Australian accent and she's my sister. She's Australian.
But I have 5 siblings total and none of us look anything alike, so she doesn't really stand out in the family. Between us, we cover all eye colours, hair colours, skin tones, and personalities/interests. We're all different, so why do her "differences" warrant being abused on the street?
"We Thought It Was The Coolest Thing."
GiphyI have two adopted siblings, a brother and a sister. After having my other bio sibs (another brother and sister), my parents thought they were done, but my mom really wanted to make a difference doing something for kids, so she started doing Foster Care when we were 15, 12 and 3. My adopted bro was one of the earlier kids to come into our home and after caring for him for about a year, and realizing he'd been up for adoption, my mom started to push my dad about adopting. He wasn't really for it at first, nothing against him, he just thought they were done raising kids, but he came around.
Us other kids were thrilled to have an extra brother. We thought it was the coolest thing. Fast forward another 5 or 6 years and we found ourselves in a similar situation. We had a baby girl my family was caring for and she was with us for over a year. Very long story with her adoption, but we added another sib to the family.
My dad's glad he came around to the idea now. He's my brother's basketball coach, helps my sister in softball, and couldn't imagine life without them.
My parents have always been open with the kids, who are 7 and 13 today, about having been adopted; it's not a secret. We've also been open with sharing information we have about their bio parents if they ask (mostly my brother wanted to know how tall his dad was because he's worried about his height). For all of us, it hasn't felt any different than having "real" family members. Family is what you make it.
If it were up to me, I'd have a bunch more adopted siblings but there is a financial component to having a bunch of kids, and as my mom puts it "We're getting too old".
"...Make Life Equal."
My older brother is adopted from South Korea so he was here about 6 months before I was born. I have never known any different. I learned he was adopted when I was 5. My parents had a running joke about me always telling people they purchased my brother from a store, because 5 year old me really thought that was what adoption meant.
The one thing i have realized now that I am an adult is that my mother tried really hard to make life equal. If she took me to get food after a doctor appt she'd take my brother the next day. If she gave me 20 bucks to go to the movies she gave him 20 bucks too. The hardest part growing up was the fact that my brother was the only asian person in almost our entire county. Small, rural Midwestern town. He faced a lot of racism growing up and it took him until he was 22 to embrace his heritage and start to try the food and learn the culture. I love him and couldn't imagine life without him in it.
"So It Just Kinda Happened..."
It all happened with us when we were very young. So it just kinda happened and we had a brother that looked different. When people ask me about it I figure that my parents did a great job because my only response is, "it's exactly like having a normal sibling except every once in a while people ask you what it's like".
"...seemed completely normal to me..."
My sister was adopted as an infant when I was five. I sort of understood it at the time. Far more than I understood when my mom lost a child when I was three. She's my sister. Period. Never been any debate about that.
Now, 40+ years later, its no different. She knows who her birth mother is and has communicated with her sisters, mostly because she wanted a medical history of her lineage before she had kids. But she's my sister, and nothing will ever change that.
It may be a little different for families that adopt older children, but for me - she's my flesh and blood, period. Love you sis.
Edit: an added note, adoption was something that just seemed completely normal to me my whole life. My grandparents adopted two girls when my Dad and his brother were in their teens. They are and always have been my aunts.
Every Situation Is Different
Oh, I was excited to respond. But all my siblings were adopted out, I'm the youngest and the only one raised by my mom. But I know all my sisters, and knew most of their families.
My oldest and third oldest and I don't talk anymore.
My second oldest sister was raised by my grandma, and we're the closest.
My third oldests' adoptive mom makes the best cheesecake?
"...a long and messy story..."
It's a bit weird at times, (not because of the adoption part) but he's 20 years younger than I am and black...so when I'm out doing things with him, we tend to get weird looks and people question if he's my brother or if my mom had an affair-or if I cheated on my husband and he's my son. But he's awesome and I love him.
When he was adopted though, my mom was an (and still is to some degree) an Nparent. I came home one day, to see my brother in his high school play. (I rarely came home in those days, because I was constantly fighting with my mom). I opened the door and this small kid was there and was like "Who are you?" and I was like "jessdb19" and asked him "who are YOU" and he was like "My name-I live here!" So my mom had adopted him and not told me about him, or him about me.
I kind of called the agency and reamed them a bit for not contacting me, because they SHOULD be contacting all siblings. Talked to the gal that was the case worker and she was...a bit surprised to hear I even existed. Had been removed from being a part of the family, since they didn't' want me throwing a wrench in the situation. My mom wanted another kid and my feelings of her could have thrown doubt, so she had said she just had the two kids.
The whole thing is a long and messy story, so I'll leave it at that.
Just Like Any Other
I have a little brother who was adopted and now I absolutely adore him! I cannot imagine our family any other way.
At the time though, it was hard to understand. He was a little older when we adopted him (around 3) and I was 10, and I'll never forget the feeling of driving home with a child after we picked him up and knowing this kid who we didn't know anything about was never leaving. It was a tough adjustment (partly because he didn't speak our language yet) for a couple years but once he settled in and got comfortable it's just like any other sibling
You'll Mess Up A Lot At First
My little brother is 11 and we adopted him from Ethiopia at 6 months old, so he doesn't remember any other family. I was 7 then, so I don't really remember anything except that I was pumped to have a baby brother. He occasionally gets really mad and threatens to get on a plane and go back to his "real mother", but only if he's super super angry. We sort of fucked up for the first 5 or so years of his life by getting him short/shaved haircuts, but someone was nice enough to let my parents know that hair is really important particularly for black guys.
He goes to a great barber now and one of my dad's colleagues (who is also black) takes him sometimes. The only hard part about having a brother who's a different race is that we have to talk to him about police brutality and such. We live in the Bay Area so there's a lot of that here, and he's old enough to potentially be seen as a "threat". Other than that, I guess it's just like having a biological brother.
Annoying, But We Love Him
My parents decided to adopt my younger brother when he was around 2 years old. Process took forever and he finally came to stay with us when he was 5. My parents obviously never had to tell him he was adopted because he is aware of this fact.
Now, it's weird to imagine my family without him. The fact that he's adopted doesn't even cross my mind.
He is, however, annoying. Really annoying. Guess that comes with the young teenage boy territory.
Different, But Ours
My older sister was adopted from China as an infant about 3 years before I was born. They had the conversation with us when I was young enough that it was never a big deal. She looked different (black hair, dark skin compared to me and all of the younger siblings red hair and pale skin) but she was still our sister.
I think they told us that when a family had a baby it doesn't matter how they get them, it just matters if they love them. My dad and his siblings are all adopted as well, and we adopted other's kids when I was older. The idea of family being based on love instead of blood is super big in our house
Just Always Been...
I have two younger sisters, one is adopted the other one is biologically my sister. I was just four when the adopted sister came into our family. It seemed completely normal at the time, never considered that it might have been unusual, and she has always simply just simply just been my younger sister (42 now).
She recently had a son herself, and it has make her much more curious about her own biological parents than she has been in the past.
From The Beginning, That's How It Was
I have a sister adopted from India. She's currently 6 coming on 7.
It's pretty much like having a sister from the beginning. After a while, you just kinda forget she wasn't always there.
We let her know she was adopted quite often, but we follow it up by making sure she knows it doesn't change the fact that we love her.
"I Honestly Can't Imagine Our Family Without Him"
My youngest brother is adopted and has been with us for 21 years now.
At the time Mum and Dad asked us if we wanted to have another baby brother and my younger blood siblings and I agreed (6 and under). We had books about adoption and we talked about it for ages. It felt nice knowing we were helping him and no matter what he is always my brother. Love him to death! I honestly can't imagine our family without him :)
"...Cool."
GiphyI've got a little brother who's adopted. He was a teenager at the time, and most of the rest of us were teenagers/adults too, so my dad just kind of told me "adopting the kid" and I said "cool". Basically the short story of what happened was that one of my other little brothers took him home to stay for a weekend as a friend. Our dad and his wife said "come back anytime". And well, now he's adopted.
He's a cool kid, he's just one of us. I'm kind of 'half-adopted' too anyway, and there are 'half-sibling' sets too, so 'siblings' to us is just sort of exactly who we want us to be.
I'm kind of 'half-adopted' too anyway,
do you mind expanding? I'm interested
I'm technically a nephew/cousin. I was never formally adopted, but my uncle (the 'dad' guy) was my guardian and they all treat me like a son/brother.
Do you come from a mixed family with adopted siblings? Tell us all about it!
The Absolute Worst Ways To Propose To Your Partner
Reddit user aloe_veracity asked: 'What is the worst possible way to propose?'
From our friends and families' own cringy stories, to the tales captured on social media, we've all witnessed our fair share of proposals that totally missed the mark or were just plain awkward.
In fact, most of us have come across so many of these stories, we all have an idea of what the worst proposal in the world would be.
Redditor aloe_veracity asked:
"What is the worst possible way to propose?"
Stealing the Spotlight
"At someone else's wedding or wedding reception."
- N-y-s-s-a
"I had to stop my friend from doing that. One of the nicest dudes ever, just a little naive."
"Fortunately, this was before the wedding, I didn’t slap the ring out of his hand or anything like that. I just very clearly told him it was a bad idea whilst at the pub."
- Polite_as_h**l
Clearly a Subplot from 'Grey's Anatomy'
"Arrange a fancy date night with your girlfriend, including dinner at a posh restaurant."
"In the middle of the meal, fake a brain aneurysm. Bite into a concealed blood pack, collapse, and fall onto the floor, the whole bit. A 'doctor' or a 'nurse' planted at an adjacent table rolls you onto your back, checks you, and says that you're not breathing and you have no pulse."
"He or she rips open your shirt to apply a defibrillator... revealing, 'WILL YOU MARRY ME?' written on your chest in red body paint."
"Pull out the ring, and say, 'I can't live without you, baby.'"
- Thatimensfaa
So Romantic
"Chucking the ring at them and saying, 'Here, wear this.'"
- Kai6180
"My friend got engaged like this and thought it was so cute for some reason. They did not last."
- Bada**Bumblebee
Wedding Dress Included
"My mom told me that my cousin’s girlfriend got tired of waiting for him to propose (apparently he said he would but hadn’t gotten around to actually doing it) that she straight up bought a wedding dress and told him they were getting married."
"He said, 'Okay.'"
"I believe they’ve been married for about 20 years now."
- PorkrindsMcSnacky
So Nervous
"My husband proposed to me while I was driving. At night. On a very busy, twisting road."
"He had a big proposal planned but then got super nervous and kind of just blurted out the proposal while we were in the car."
"We celebrate our 25th anniversary this fall. My thought was if I had the power to make him THAT nervous, I was in a pretty solid position."
"Honestly, it's not how you're asked; it's who's doing the asking."
- Neener216
Worth Waking Up For
"Mine might be the worst. I was a broke 19-year-old and thought that if I can't spend money on a good proposal, I'd go with the element of surprise."
"I woke her up at 3:00 AM and gave a speech about how we were going to be together forever and propose."
"Her response: ARE YOU F**KING KIDDING ME...'"
"We've been married 14 years this October."
- the_navillus
Red Flags in the Morning
"I got woken up an hour before my alarm clock rang. He just came home from visiting his parents for the weekend."
"No elaborate speech, just a 'Now or later?'"
"Me, being an unarticulated zombie for the first hour after being woken up, managed to mumble, 'Now.'"
"I got the ring stuck on my finger. It was slightly too small. And then I just went to work."
"Later that day, he reminded me that I still 'have to' say yes. Of course I did."
"A day later, colleagues figured out he never asked. He just demanded. So I told him to ask me, but he said since I already said yes, he didn't need to."
"After a little back and forth, he asked."
"I should have seen that red flag waving in front of my face, but it took two years to see it."
- Mondfairy
Practical Purposes Only
"This is the story of how my parents got engaged."
"Dad: Hey, you should move in with me."
"Mom: No. Not until we're married."
"Dad: Okay. Fine. Let's get married."
"Mom: Wait. Are you seriously asking me like this?"
"Dad: Yes. Why not. Marry me and then you can move in with me."
"And then they got married."
"It did not go well."
- biddily
Short and Sweet
"Proposing via text."
- Salty-Entertainer-29
"will u marry me?"
"k."
- aloe_veracity
Public Proposals
"For me personally, the worst would be any grand gesture around people. I’d rather you ask during a cozy night on the couch."
"My ex and I just talked and knew we were going to do it. We picked up the ring together and were walking out of the store. He bent down on his knee at a bench, and no one was paying attention. I’ll never forget how precious that was to me."
"I was at a large music festival last year and saw a guy propose to his girl quietly in the back of a crowd. No one seemed to notice that either, but I saw it and started crying to myself at how beautiful it was. She was snuggling into him the whole rest of the set."
- ApprehensiveBanana07
Quite the Rebound
"Say the wrong name. Other than that, you'll be fine."
- shipsaway9
"Something similar happened to a family friend. Someone she met online proposed to her within weeks of meeting her with a gorgeous diamond ring."
"She got caught in the moment and said, 'Yes.' It was at a fairly busy restaurant and everyone started clapping and cheering for them."
"When she got home, she took off the ring to send us a photo of it, and that's when she noticed that there was someone's else initial engraved on the inside."
"Turns out that the guy's ex-fiancee had broken up with him just months before their wedding. He met my friend online and decided to ask her to marry him instead out of spite and possibly because he didn't want to lose his deposit on the wedding venue and catering."
- Dane_k23
Fooled Ya
"Propose after being caught cheating."
- BeneficialSomewhere
The Argument to Win Them All
"While in an argument about wanting the get married, bring out the ring and just say, 'Here.'"
"A friend of a friend was 'proposed' to this way and thought it was the cutest. The red flags were waving themselves."
- royal_rose_
A Different Take
"Propose from prison."
- No-Art-9083
"Propose in prison."
- aloe_veracity
"Propose ON TOP of a prison."
- Ok_Wave_7359
A Jarring Experience
"Shock them by proposing to them right after they've told you that they've lost their job."
- BroadcasterX
Proposing or being proposed to is supposed to be one of the most special moments in a couple's life, signifying all that is to come. Imagining how someone could approach this moment in some of these ways is really staggering.
You can say that some single people can be envious of those who are blinded by love.
You know the expression. A person who is blinded by love is when they are so deeply engrossed in the throes of passion with a lover that their relationship defies all logic.
On the one hand, that level of amorousness is romantic. But on the other hand, it can be totally deceiving.
People who are blinded by love tend to rush into things and make life-changing decisions that can come back to haunt them. Like getting married.
Curious to hear about regretful choices, Redditor tippytoes1216 asked strangers online:
"When did you realize you married the wrong person?"
Some realized gradually that something was off.
Losing A Sense Of Self
"One day I realized I had become a smaller version of myself."
– mlerin
"Yeah damn. I'm about a year past a really tough breakup, and this hits hard. My friends all tell me they like the new me. And it certainly feels easier to be me. I don't know why I ever let it be reduced. I think she left me with a bit of imposter syndrome, but it turns out I'm f'kin' dope."
– thefrenchflex
No More Exercising
"When she sat me down and with a straight face said 'I’ve thought about this and you’re not going to exercise anymore.'”
"I was jogging a few miles a day and would usually bring kids with in running stroller."
"She said you’re a father and it’s too time consuming. That’s when I realized I made a terrible mistake lol."
"Catching her with another man in my car didn’t help the case to stay married."
– JD054
This Woman's Work
"Engaged not quite married yet."
"When I had been on mandatory bedrest and caring for our infant son, after having emergency surgery... and he came home from work and looked me dead in the face and said 'why aren't the f**king dishes done?'"
"Called my mom the next morning and told her I was leaving. Hightailed it out of there 2 weeks later."
– Neverinfocus
Unfit Mother
"It was a death of a thousand cuts. One of the first was when I realized she didn't trust me. We had been together around 10 years at this point. But I had a moment of clarity and literally said to her 'you don't trust me do you?' Before she could answer I said 'you don't trust anybody.' And she agreed."
"She would routinely throw the kids out of the tub and the bathroom completely naked because they splashed her while getting a bath. And not just that, she would yell at the top of her lungs at how bad they were. The kids were around 2-4 at the time. God forbid the toddler splashes the water in the tub."
"Another time I don't even remember the cause but I tried to play mediator. As in 'ok daughter you did something wrong, let's apologize to mommy'. And she would. Then I'd ask mommy to apologize to our daughter for what for her role and mom absolutely refused to apologize. Ive known this lady more than 20 years and ive never heard her apologize. Literally never."
"The final straw was when one of our kids wanted a hug goodnight before bedtime. She locked herself in our bedroom and refused the hug because she had hugged them earlier in the day. Kids were crying. They didn't understand. I was devastated watching this unfold. Why doesn't mom want to hug me?"
"I try my best to not let it impact me. But we share custody now and I have to watch how she interacts with our kids. Its hard. The best consolidation is the kids are getting older and they're starting to figure it out."
– overarmur
Unworthy Companion
"When I realized if we weren’t dating I wouldn’t have wanted to be his friend."
– dawn855
Some found out on the day of the nuptials.
"No Ice Cream Truck"
"On the wedding day…. She spent a fortune on unnecessary things, and I knew I’d be the one fitting the bill on the credit card she ran up. So I told her no more, she said she wanted an ice cream vendor there (we already had two dessert bars) told her it was not needed. She fought me on it but finally agreed. Wedding day comes, I’m standing with my groomsmen, in comes the ice cream truck. Knew right then, sadly."
– StrangeJitsu
Inebriated Bride
"On my wedding day. We were married at her Parents house, a beautiful place on a private country club. The entire day was all about her, and she spent more time hanging out with her friend and getting drunk than with me. I stayed busy visiting with all the guests during the day. After all the guests left and it was down to her parents and me, I find her passed out drunk upstairs in a bedroom. I picked her up and carried her to our car to take her home. Needless to say our wedding night consisted of her sleeping it off. 5 years later she went in to in-patient treatment and after she sobered up and was released, she told me that she didn't love me and wanted a divorce."
– metrology84
So much for the honeymoon.
True Colors
"It was actually almost immediately after getting married. Our relationship had taken a nose dive as soon as we moved in together. But after we got married, while we were in Greece on our honeymoon, he absolutely lost his mind on me in public. I had wanted to go see a beach on the island that is supposed to be one of the most beautiful in the world, so we tried to catch the bus, but it never came. He screamed at me, telling me he hated traveling with me and how could I ruin his vacation like this. Then we walked to the beach nearby and he went swimming with his two friends who he insisted come with us on the trip. I was too stunned and humiliated to do anything except sit on a beach chair and cry."
– gridironbuffalo
China Was Telling
"Got married. Went on a honeymoon in China. We were both PhD students at the time. I was working class. Her family was middle class. Her father gave her 10,000 $ for the honeymoon."
"So we go to China to celebrate AND she wants to do some light pre dissertation research while there for a month or two. Fine."
"It turns out, I spent the entire two months alone in tiny hostels, while she did research. I only spoke a few words of Mandarin and I was a broke graduate student, so I couldn’t really afford to/didn’t have the means to easily get to an airport to fly back home (also had 0 family support back home, even if I did manage to make it home). I felt trapped."
"I talked to her about how the trip felt like a research trip and not at all like a honeymoon, how I was alone almost everyday."
"We were sharing a laptop while in the trip (I was too poor to own a laptop, despite being in grad school). I open the laptop one morning before she leaves to go survey a field site without me. Her email is open. She left a message open on the laptop. It’s to her father, stating she wishes I wasn’t there on the trip - our honeymoon. Again, I was told this would be a honeymoon w/ maybe a slight detour for research. It turned out to be a research trip where I was a burden."
"She apologized. We stayed together for a few more years after she got sick and I became a caretaker. I wish, in hindsight, I had left China after reading that email."
– Mtt76812
It's pretty painful to realize that the person with whom you're sleeping next to is not, or never was, your person.
But if there's a glimmer of hope that you and your spouse are willing to put in the work for the sake of a troubled marriage, that's a very redeemable quality.
Sadly, this doesn't apply to all couple, and the best thing to do is to abandon ship before further emotional damage is done.
It's safe to say that the conventions of romantic relationships have greatly evolved over time.
As evidenced by the ever-growing number of people in open or polyamorous relationships.
Leaving one to wonder, what exactly constitutes "cheating" in this day and age.
Of course, this could be a personal decision, based on the ground rules people set in their own relationships.
Even so, one can't help but question if there are some instances that are always cheating, whether or not the relationship is monogamous.
"What do you consider cheating in a relationship?"
Anything HE Does...
"My ex felt that me having a conversation about anything at all with anyone else was cheating, but her literally getting sexed by other men was OK."- GoodToe4691
Spoilers!!!
"Watching an episode alone of a show we started together."- Happy-Sea-Otter
When You Commit, You COMMIT!
"Being sentimentally or physically involved with someone else that isn't your partner."- a_man_of_music
"Doing anything sexual or romantic with someone else."- jellyfishmasquerade
orlando bloom cheating GIFGiphyThink About How You Would Feel...
"My rule of thumb is if I wouldn't like it done to me I shouldn't be doing it myself."
"I know that's vague."
"But leaves you to draw the line where you want."- SureAce_
Anything That Isn't Out In The Open...
"Beyond the obvious (sex/kissing with another person), it can also be based on intent."
"For instance, dinner could be cheating if it was kept hidden or with an ex, etc."
"Depends a lot on context."- dogwatermoneybags
"Anything you do with another person you feel like you have to hide from me, I consider cheating."- nopestillgotit
Shocked Oh No GIF by LaffGiphySubtle Manipulation
"Not paying enough of the rent in Monopoly and using smile and cuddle to get away with it."- Dendex031
You Set Your Own Rules So You Will Never Break Them...
"Pretty much breaking any agreed upon 'rules' in your relationship."- Massive-Ad7628
"Whatever an individual couple agrees on as being cheating within the context of their relationship."-JanuaryWinterflame
"Breaking the rules of loyalty, trust, and honesty in your relationship."
"If you're monogamous, that means engaging in sexual and/or romantic activity with anyone other than your partner."
"If you're non-monogamous, that means doing engaging in sexual and/or romantic activities with people other than your partners without telling both the new person and the partners that's what you're doing."
'Basically if you're sneaking around and lying to people just to get extra attention outside of your relationships, you're 99% likely to be cheating."- GenericNerdGirl
GiphyWhen You Know You're Getting In Too Deep...
"Back when I was still college aged, I learned this lesson the hard way."
"I could be a bit of a harmless flirt, but I would never cheat on my girlfriend."
"Then one night I got drunk with a friend of my girlfriend’s."
"After a night of ‘harmless flirting’ and drunk Twister, I ended up in her bed, on top of her."
"She whispered in my ear 'If you tried to f*ck me right now, I wouldn’t stop you'.”
"That snapped me back to reality, made me realize how real things had gotten and that I had gone too far."
"I apologized and I left."
"I told my girlfriend about it, because I knew that if I tried to hide it and her friend told her about it, it would be even worse."
"I never kissed her."
"I didn’t f*ck her."
"No one was naked."
"However, the fact that I had essentially been 5 seconds away from doing all of those things while in her bed massively betrayed the trust my girlfriend had for me."
"She wasn’t able to look at me the same way."
"I was genuinely remorseful, and learned my lesson, but it didn’t really matter."
"We tried to keep it together for a few more months, but she eventually left me over it, and I can’t say that I blame her."
"I was flung into a long spiral of depression, and it was worse knowing that it was all my fault."
"Cheating isn’t just about a physical, sexual act."
"You can cheat on someone without f*cking someone else."
"It’s about a betrayal of trust."
"And to go a step further, it’s your responsibility in a relationship to foster that trust by intentionally avoiding situations that could bring temptation or otherwise sketch out your partner."
"For example, don’t hang out with other girls one on one and get drunk with them, even if you know you don’t intend to do anything sexual with them."- Thograr
When The Connection Starts To Be Emotional
"I used to think it was only physical stuff, but seeing your partner drift away from you into the arms of someone else reeeally stings."
"So, basically entertaining the idea and keeping in contact with someone they might have a small/temporary crush on is a dealbreaker for me nowadays."- soapshirt
season 6 episode 3 GIFGiphyBy definition, cheating is when you are doing something blatantly wrong, or deceitful.
Which sometimes could mean kissing someone who isn't your partner.
Unless they are aware and ok with it.
One thing I'm sure everyone can agree with: nothing is more unforgivable than forging ahead on a series without waiting for your significant other.
...definitely not speaking from experience...
History is shaped by mistakes. Some lead to monumental leaps forward in human understanding. Most do not. Of those in the second category, many are simply embarrassing, and result in a good bar story. Meanwhile, other have simply disastrous consequences. Below are 48 of the biggest mistakes that have been committed in history.
1. He Should Have Accepted the Offer
Google signPhoto by Pawel Czerwinski on UnsplashIn 1999, the founders of Google approached Excite CEO George Bell, offering to sell him the search engine for $1 million. When Bell refused, they lowered the price to $750,000, which he also rejected. Today, Google is valued at over $300 billion.
2. We’ll Pass
person holding black android smartphonePhoto by Dimitri Karastelev on UnsplashIn 2009, Facebook turned down a pair of programmers for jobs. No big deal, right? Must happen all the time at FB HQ...
A few years later, though, the pair developed WhatsApp. Facebook subsequently purchased that venture for a cool $19 billion.
3. Trains Were Too Wide
a silver train pulling into a train stationPhoto by Jametlene Reskp on UnsplashThe French state railway SNCF spent $15 billion on a new fleet of trains, but unfortunately, they were the wrong size and were too wide for their 1300 platforms. The mistake cost them an estimated $50 million to correct.
4. A Case of Bad Timing
File:Napoleon at Fontainebleau, 31 March 1814 (by Hippolyte Paul ...commons.wikimedia.orgJust over 200 years ago, Napoleon’s army attempted to invade Russia.
Whoops.
A combination of factors spelled doom for the invasion. There wasn't nearly enough food for the men and horses. Poor discipline was rampant in the ranks. And, of course, none of the men were prepared for the unimaginable brutality of a full Russian winter.
It was a devastating failure. Napoleon lost 500,000 troops.
5. Infidelity is Expensive
File:Tiger Woods June 2014 (cropped).jpg - Wikipediaen.wikipedia.orgTiger Woods’s admission of multiple illicit affairs with women cost him his wife and $750 million. He also lost his sponsorships with Gatorade and others, but even worse, the shareholders of the companies with Tiger Woods endorsements lost an estimate $5 to $12 billion dollars in the wake of the scandal.
6. Gambled and Lost
selective focus photography of bubblePhoto by Daniel Hansen on UnsplashThe Spanish telecom company Terra took a gamble when they purchased the search engine Lycos in 2000 for almost $12 billion. At the time, Lycos was the third most visited site in America...but that was before the dot com bubble burst. In just about a year, most internet companies in America lost millions in value. And Lycos was perhaps the biggest loser.
Terra would eventually sell the search engine in 2004 for just $95.4 million. That's an astonishing loss of $11.6 billion dollars on their investment.
7. I Accidentally Taped Over It!
Buzz Aldrin on the moon in front of the US flagPhoto by NASA on UnsplashBack in the days of data tapes, it was easy to accidentally tape over earlier recordings. Unfortunately for NASA, that’s exactly what they did, and the original tapes of the moon landing were erased and re-used. Luckily, they were able to restore the original broadcast and offer the world a glimpse of the historic event.
The admission that NASA accidentally erased the original footage had fed rocket fuel to conspiracy theorists, who already believed the entire lunar program that landed people on the moon six times between 1969 and 1972 was staged on a Hollywood set.
8. The Worst Nuclear Accident in U.S. History
File:Exelon Three Mile Island Nuclear Generating Station.jpg ...commons.wikimedia.orgThe nuclear meltdown at Three Mile Island in March of 1979 was the result of mechanical failures that were made worse by poor training and oversights in the human-computer interaction design. It was the most significant nuclear disaster in U.S. commercial nuclear power plant history.
There are conflicting reports on the cost of the disaster, with some sources stating that the radiation exposure wasn't significant enough to result in additional instances cancer, while others insist the radiation caused thousands of cases.
9. Loss of Cultural Knowledge
File:The Great Library of Alexandria - Colorized.jpg - Wikimedia ...commons.wikimedia.orgThe Great Library of Alexandria was one of the largest and most significant libraries of the ancient world, and was dedicated to the Muses—the 9 goddesses of the Arts.
The burning of the library resulted in an irreplaceable loss of knowledge and literature.
10. Didn’t Understand the Food Chain
File:Mao Zedong 1959 (cropped).jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.orgFrom 1958-1962, Chairman Mao Zedong of China launched the “Four Pests Campaign,” which would exterminate rats, flies, mosquitoes, and sparrows. What they didn’t realize was that sparrows ate a large number of insects. Without the sparrows to eat them, locust populations grew and created an ecological imbalance that exacerbated the Great Chinese Famine, which claimed the 15-30 million deaths.
That's right, when Chairman Mao Zedong ordered the extermination of sparrows, he accidentally sentenced 15 million citizens to death, all because he didn't realize that sparrows were mission critical for pest control.
11. Is That Leaning?
people walking on green grass field near white concrete building during daytimePhoto by Jainam Mehta on UnsplashThe Leaning Tower of Pisa is a free-standing bell tower in the city of Pisa Italy.
The tower is famous for its lean, but that wasn’t by design. The foundation for the tower was built on ground that was too soft to support its weight, and it started to lean during construction.
12. Threw Away Millions
black and red UK flag pedal trash bin near white wooden doorPhoto by Steve Johnson on UnsplashA lottery winner in England lost $181 million when her husband accidentally threw away her winning ticket. The woman knew the announced numbers were hers, because she always wrote them down on a separate sheet of paper before giving the ticket to her husband.
13. Brought Down by Foam
File:Space Shuttle Columbia launching.jpg - Wikipediaen.wikipedia.orgOn Feb 1, 2003, the Space Shuttle Columbia disastrously disintegrated on re-entry, claiming the lives of all seven crew members. Back when the shuttle launched, a piece of foam fell from the shuttle’s external tank and punctured the shuttle’s wing, causing damage that made the rocket unable to withstand re-entry.
NASA knew about the problem when it occurred, and came under scrutiny for their negligence.
14. Cutting Corners
Deepwater Horizon - Wikipediaen.wikipedia.orgIn April 2010, a BP oil rig burst in the Gulf of Mexico, pushing nearly five million barrels of oil from the well. It was eventually determined that years of BP favoring speed over safety and cutting corners were the true causes of the accident.
15. Couldn’t Corner the Market
white and black striped textilePhoto by Andrew Kliatskyi on UnsplashYasuo Hamanaka, the former chief copper trader at Sumitomo in Japan attempted to corner the market (get enough market share to manipulate the price) on copper back in 1996.
Before prices dropped and the scheme collapsed, Sumitomo controlled as much as 5% of the world’s copper. He was known as "Mr. Copper" because of his aggressive trading style. On June 13, 1996, Sumitomo Corporation reported a loss of US$1.8 billion caused by unauthorized copper trading by Hamanaka on the London Metal Exchange. It was later revealed that the true losses caused by Hamanka totaled $2.6 billion dollars.
16. Should Have Prepared for Winter
File:RIAN archive 301 An attack.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.orgIn June of 1941, Hitler was riding high on his victories and was determined to claim the Russian territories to fulfill Germany’s destiny. Convinced that he would easily win, he ignored the warnings of his military, and reportedly told them that “We have only to kick in the front door and the whole rotten Russian edifice will come tumbling down." Thanks to some strategical miscalculations on the German generals' part, and their unpreparedness for Russian winter, the Germans were eventually forced to retreat.
17. That’s Not the System We Used!
a red planet with a black backgroundPhoto by Planet Volumes on UnsplashA group of Lockheed engineers used Imperial units of measurement to build the Mars Orbiter, but the rest of the team used Metric. The use of two different systems caused the spacecraft to approach Mars on a trajectory that brought it too close to the plane. It disintegrated as it passed through the upper atmosphere. The mistake cost NASA approximately $125 million back in 1999.
18. Guitar Groups are Out
File:Beatles ad 1965 just the beatles crop.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.orgDick Rowe, an A&R man at Decca Records at the time of the Beatles’ audition, is known in history as "the man who turned down the Beatles." Sources that after Rowe first heard the Fab Four, he told their manager that “Groups with guitars are on their way out.”
After their rejection, he went on to sign the Rolling Stones and several other famous groups, but missing out on the Beatles was a big one: The Beatles have sold 600 million albums worldwide and 177 million in the United States alone.
19. They Defeated Themselves
<a href="http://api.aucklandmuseum.com/id/media/v/93335">commons.wikimedia.org</a>
On September 18, 1788, during their conflict with Turkey, a group of Austrian soldiers bought some hard beverages from a band of locals in the town of Karansebes. They had too much and began to shout that the Turks were coming.
Mass confusion ensued (partly due to language barriers), panicked men began firing at the supposed "Turkish invaders" and by the morning, 10,000 of their own men were dead. With Friends like that, who needs enemies?
20. Safety First.
Free Images : live, equipment, spray, training, flame, fire ...pxhere.comOil workers on the Piper Bravo Oil Rig were evacuated after an explosion killed 167 of the 226 men working on the rig in July of 1988. A safety inspector forgot to replace a valve after a routine check, and when a worker (unaware that a valve was missing) pushed the start button, gas leaked out.
21. Poked the Wrong Bear
File:YuanEmperorAlbumGenghisPortrait.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.orgThe Sultan of the Khwarezm Empire in present-day Turkmenistan, Uzbekistan, Afghanistan, and Iran had agreed to a trade treaty with Genghis Khan, but when the caravan arrived, the Governor of Otrar seized the goods and had all but one of the merchants killed.
Khan then sent a delegation to the Shah to demand punishment, and he responded by shaving the heads of the ambassadors and sending the interpreter home headless. Kahn retaliated by invading and conquering Otrar.
22. A Not-So-Controlled Burn
a large fire is burning in the mountainsPhoto by Mike Newbry on UnsplashIn 2000, the Cerro Grande fire in New Mexico began as a controlled blaze, but things quickly turned into a disaster. High winds and drought let the fire spread rapidly, and soon authorities had completely lost control. The fire burned for more than a month, destroying 48,000 acres, and displacing more than 400 families.
23. Blind Belief
File:Fukushima radiation dose map 2011-04-29.png - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.orgThe triple meltdowns at the Fukushima Number 1 power plant occurred largely because the Japanese government had a blind belief that the plants were so safe, a major disaster was impossible—despite warnings that the aging plants were vulnerable. The accident will take an estimated 40 years and billions of dollars to clean up.
24. They Should Have Listened
underwater photography of titanicPhoto by NOAA on UnsplashStop me if you've heard this one...
In April 1912, the largest passenger ship ever built began its maiden voyage across the Atlantic from England to New York. It would never finish the trip.
The Titanic was called "unsinkable". It wasn't. The ship sank in the early morning hours of April 15, after crashing into an iceberg and taking on water.
Long before the actual incident, the Titanic's crew received warnings about icebergs in the area. In the interest of saving time, the warnings were ignored. That mistake claimed the lives of 1,517 people.
25. Billion-Dollar Write-Down
File:Sony Movies Logo.svg - Wikipediaen.wikipedia.orgSony thought that they were making a smart purchase when they scooped up Columbia Pictures for $3.4 billion in 1989. The cost of the deal increased when they had to spend $200 million on another production company, and another $500 million to settle a lawsuit. In the end, they were forced to take a 3.2-billion-dollar write-down on the acquisition.
26. They Thought It Was Useless
Sydney Opera House, AustraliaPhoto by Photoholgic on UnsplashDutch navigators extensively explored Australia almost a century before Captain James Cook claimed it for Great Britain in 1770, but they chose not to settle there because it failed to live up to their expectations. The island had been fabled to be overflowing with gold and giants, and they were disappointed by the seemingly barren coastline.
27. Equipment Failure
flying stealth plane during dayPhoto by Matt Artz on UnsplashAmerica’s most expensive jet was destroyed on a practice flight in Guam when faulty sensors caused the plane to stall on take-off and crash. Luckily, both pilots were able to eject safely.
28. They Wished They’d Kept It
brown wooden signage on gray sand during daytimePhoto by Alexis Mette on UnsplashAt the end of the Crimean War, Russia was weakened and had very little money, and they knew that Britain could simply take over their Alaskan territory if they wished. As far as the Tsar was concerned, it was just a useless piece of barren land, so he decided to sell it to the United States, rather than lose it to their British enemies.
Neither party knew about the gold and oil that lay beneath the land. If they had, Russia likely wouldn’t have sold it for 2 cents an acre.
29. There Was No Feast
brown concrete statue under blue sky during daytimePhoto by Azzedine Rouichi on UnsplashIn 1532, Conquistador Fransisco Pizarro lured the Inca ruler Atahualpa to a supposed feast in his honor. It turned out to be a trap. Pizarro’s men massacred 80,000 Inca warriors, and captured Atahualpa. As a final humiliation, Pizarro forced Atahualpa to convert to Christianity before executing him.
30. An Unsuccessful Merger
blue audi coupe parked on green grass field during daytimePhoto by Udo Meyer on UnsplashUnfortunately for Mercedes Benz, their 1998 merger with Chrysler failed to work out as planned, and less than a decade later in 2007, Mercedes sold the company for $7 billion—about $13 billion less than they’d paid for it.
31. Hydrogen Is Flammable
File:Hindenburg burning.jpg - Wikipediaen.m.wikipedia.orgThe Hindenburg disaster marked the end of the airship era, claiming all 35 passengers and one member of the ground crew. The airship caught fire because of a spark that ignited leaking hydrogen. As the Germans discovered, hydrogen is an extremely flammable and dangerous substance, and using it to fill airships perhaps wasn’t the smartest idea.
32. Fire and Blood
silhouette of trees during night timePhoto by Henrique Malaguti on UnsplashA hunter was responsible for starting the biggest fire in California’s history back in 2003. He lost a lit signal flare near the San Diego County Estates and the fire spread. Close to 300,000 acres and 2,322 homes were destroyed. 14 people also lost their lives.
33. Who Left the Gate Open?
brown concrete building under blue sky during daytimePhoto by Raimond Klavins on UnsplashForgetting to close a gate isn’t normally that big a deal--unless you’re the unfortunate Roman who forgot to close the Kerkoporta Gate at Constantinople. That unfortunate soul single-handedly lost a siege.
You see, the walls of Constantinople were generally regarded to be impregnable. This contributed to a sense of confidence and security for the Roman defenders, who were under siege by a much larger Ottoman force.
So when one Roman guard accidentally left the gate open at night, a group of 50 Ottomans was able to sneak in under cover of night, slaughtering the Roman guards and raising their flag on the walls. This caused panic in the Roman ranks, who were left with the impression that the city had somehow been conquered overnight. The resulting loss of morale helped the Ottomans to actually conquer and loot the city with a subsequent invasion.
34. Abandoning the Navy
File:Zheng He Treasure Ship (15832736462).jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.org500 or so years ago, China had one of the greatest seafaring fleets in the world. They boasted 5 times the size of those being built in Europe.
By 1525, the entire fleet had been destroyed. Chinese elites urged the government to destroy their own fleet, concerned about the rising status of the middle class who had benefited from the international trade that the "Treasure Fleet" enabled. The vessels were either set aflame or left to rot at port. Economists believe this act crippled China's economy and drastically reduced its world influence.
35. Serial Infidelity
Mining Magnate Dmitri Rybolovlev allegedly slept with other women on his yacht, leading his wife to accuse him of "serial infidelity." The divorce battle that ensued forced him to sell assets to raise cash for the settlement.
36. A Fatal Wrong Turn
File:HGM Wilhelm Vita Porträt Franz Ferdinand.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.orgWho would have imagined that a wrong turn could turn the entire world on its head? That’s what happened on June 14, 1914, when Archduke Ferdinand’s driver made a wrong turn. He turned down the road where the assassin Gavrilo Princip was enjoying a sandwich. The driver, realizing his mistake, slammed on the brakes and caused the car to stall, which gave Princip the opportunity to fire into the car at close range.
37. Great Ideas That Didn’t Work
classic teal sedan near house during daytimePhoto by Peter Secan on UnsplashIn 1957, Ford introduced the Edsel.
The car was a massive gamble. For a year before its release, Ford spent millions on a teaser campaign, which billed the as-yet-unseen Edsel as the car of the future.
Turns out, it wasn't.
The car was introduced with fanfare and excitement... but Ford would stop production in 1959, just two years after the initial sale. Unfortunately for Ford, it failed to live up to the hype created by their advertising campaign. The whole debacle cost them an estimated $250 million.
38. A Strategical Error
File:Pearl Harbor submarine base in the early 1930s.jpg ...commons.wikimedia.orgThe U.S. had three aircraft carriers assigned to Pearl Harbor at the time of the Japanese attack, but they had been displaced on missions on the day of the attack. The Japanese had received intelligence that the carriers weren’t there, but decided that it wasn’t important. This turned out to be the wrong decision, as those aircraft carriers later helped the U.S. win the fight against Japan.
39. A Flaw in the Design
File:IAEA 02790015 (5613115146).jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.orgOn 26th April 1986, engineers at the V.I. Lenin Nuclear Power Station, a Soviet facility, were testing a new cooling system designed to reduce the risk of a meltdown. Their test caused a meltdown, and the resulting explosion destroyed Chernobyl’s reactor 4.
The Chernobyl Forum predicts that the eventual toll could reach 4,000 among those exposed to the highest levels of radiation. That said, what many people don't know is that the plant actually remained a fully-functioning power plant for years after the disaster.
The disaster destroyed reactor 4, but reactors 1-3 remained open for business. Due to high levels of radiation, plant employees could no longer live beside the facility, but many continued to commute to work to supply power in Europe. The final reactor only ceased operating in 2000.
40. Lost His Hard Drive
gold and silver round coinsPhoto by Kanchanara on UnsplashIn 2009, James Howells bought 7,500 bitcoin when they weren’t worth anything, and by 2013, they had risen to a value of 613 British pounds each, giving him a multi-million dollar portfolio. The only problem was that he’d thrown away the hard drive where the bitcoins were stored.
When he realized his mistake, he went to the landfill to try and recover it, but he was unable to locate it.
41. A Costly Spelling Mistake
Petition to File For BankruptcyPhoto by Melinda Gimpel on UnsplashThe British government was sued for £9 million after a clerical error resulted in the wrong company being recorded as in liquidation. Companies House mistakenly mistook a 124-year-old Welsh company called “Taylor and Sons” for a bankrupt company “Taylor and Son” due to a clerical error that inserted an extra ‘s’ onto a liquidation notice. The mistake cost 250 people their jobs.
42. Too Easy to Copy
Day 250: Summer Addiction | I was first introduced to Snappl… | Flickrwww.flickr.comWhen Quaker purchased Snapple for $1.4 billion in 1994, their goal was to sell it in every grocery store in the country. But Snapple was so successful in the smaller brand-name grocery stores that companies like Pepsi and Coca-Cola made their own copycat brands. Quaker sold Snapple after just three years for significantly less than what they paid.
43. Don’t Drink and Steer
File:Exxon Valdez Cleanup.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.orgIn 1989, an Exxon oil tanker was headed to California when it ran aground on the Bligh Reef off the Alaskan coast. The tanker spilled around 760,000 barrels of oil into the water, and the captain was later accused of being drunk at the time of the accident. He was convicted of negligent discharge of oil.
44. A Fat Finger Trade
textPhoto by jun rong loo on UnsplashA Japanese trader cost his company nearly $2 million when he accidentally sold 610,000 shares for 1 yen, instead of 1 share at 610,000 yen. It was a “fat-finger keyboard error”, a mistake in which a trader places a buy/sell order at a far greater size than intended.
45. You Can’t Dock Here!
yellow and blue abstract paintingPhoto by Didssph on UnsplashWhen a storm caused one of the 12 oil tanks on the MV Prestige to burst, the captain called for help from Spanish rescue workers, expecting to bring the vessel into the harbor before it sank. Because the Spanish, French, and Portuguese governments refused to allow the ship to dock in their ports, the ship eventually split in half and sank, releasing over 20 million gallons of oil into the sea.
46. No Heir, No Empire
File:Alexander the Great mosaic.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.orgAlexander the Great succeeded in forging the largest Western empire of the ancient world-- only for it to fall apart because he never named an heir.
Shortly before he gave his last breath, Alexander was asked who should succeed him. He responded simply, “the strongest"...as though that was a helpful answer.
As it turns out, men who've spent their lives conquering much of the known world tend to be a little competitive. Upon his passing, Alexander's generals immediately vied to fill the power vacuum... leaving his carefully crafted empire to crumble.
47. Houston We Have A Mistake
January 28, 1986 – Space Shuttle Challengerwww.history.navy.milApproximately 17% of Americans were watching on the morning of January 28, 1986, as the Space Shuttle Challenger launched toward space. Onboard were 6 NASA astronauts, as well as Payload Specialist Christa McAuliffe, who was set to become the first teacher in space.
Tragedy struck just 72 seconds after liftoff. Gasses in the external fuel tank mixed, exploded, and tore the shuttle apart. All 7 crew members were lost.
Prior to the disaster, the builder of the solid-rocket boosters advised NASA that they believed the O-ring seals in the solid-rocket boosters could fail at extremely low temperatures. On the day of the launch, the temperature was 15 degrees colder than any previous launch in history.
48. Rejected Harry Potter
J.K. Rowling’s literary agency received 12 rejections for Harry Potter. When the 8-year-old daughter of an editor at Bloomsbury demanded to read the rest of the book, Bloomsbury finally agreed to publish it...but also advised Rowling to "get a day job" as there was little chance of making any money with children’s books.