People Share The Absolute Worst Advice They've Ever Received In Their Life
Image by mohamed Hassan from Pixabay |
One of the greatest lessons in life is to know when to listen and also acknowledge when someone is talking smack, so you just run away to save your own life.
These days everyone thinks they're an arm chair therapist. Everybody has an opinion, a solution and an answer. In truth everyone has thought this for a long time actually. And it's bunk.
I'm not saying we all don't have ideas for good advice or can't help another person heal. But we really need to be more careful about the knowledge we're tossing about. And we need to be even more astute about what wisdom we decide to believe.
The slightest bit of advice can change a life, if we let it. So first, go on your own thoughts before you piggyback another.
Redditoru/Truzt102wanted to hear about all the things they've been told "in the spirit" of help that was really just a load of crap, by asking:
What is the worst advice you've ever received?
I stopped listening to people recently. I had to. Mainly because it hindered my ability to listen to myself. I've taken so much bad advice merely because I believed they knew better, when they knew nothing. And I know I'm not alone.
Be Dumb
Confused Threes Company GIF by MOODMANGiphy"You should act less smart so more guys talk to you."
- imerbear
Ignorance...
"Just ignore the bully. He'll get bored. I wish my parents told me, "To Hell that kid up. You're 16. Slap on the wrist."
"I was bullied all throughout middle and high school. I dropped out half way through my sophomore year, then went back after working a summer."
"Former bully tried it again, and I just shouted "F* OFF!" in his face. He was so surprised. Thus ended 8+ years of torment. He never tried anything again. I dropped out again though, got my GED, went to college and did well. I'm good now. ADHD + meds = functional adult."
Shake it Off...
"Work through the pain, it will make your back feel better. It didn't."
"I lost a friend because they felt I was lazy for not "powering through" the chronic pain issues I have and "just live life" instead. Umm... I am powering through it every single moment of the day from the moment I will myself out of bed. It is exhausting and there's a limit to how much one can do that. I have an autoimmune condition so it looks like there's nothing wrong with me from the outside, and a lot of folks don't care much beyond the superficial."
Ok Octomom...
My (ex-) co-worker advised me to have a baby because I was suffering so badly from my depression. She said this would cure my "bad mood."
"I once had a patient with borderline personality disorder also suffering from depressions. She already had 5 children from 5 different (ex-)partners, who where all in foster homes, because she could not care for them. Neglect, abuse, dangerous situations and the sorts.
"That day she told me she was so happy because she was pregnant again from an unknown partner. She was happy because pregnancy always made her feel better. I could only think about the next child's life being ruined. Although I'm generally opposed to forced contraception... sometimes... Don't fall for the trap."
Just Eat!
Excited Food GIF by Rosanna PansinoGiphy"Come on, stop complaining and swallow it." No mom, I'm allergic to freaking soy, if I swallow it I'll probably die."
First, listen to generational advice carefully. Each generation has a different perspective and we're learning a lot of it is shaded by trauma. That's important to recognize. Don't fall victim to other's issues.
Buzzz...
sad macaulay culkin GIFGiphy"Kick it to see if there are anymore bees inside." There were plenty of bees still inside."
never say sorry to a student...
"When I was an aspiring educator, I received a lot of scary advice about how school teachers should run a classroom from people who were well intended, but were completely out of touch. The most memorable was from a woman who had been a special education teacher for years and her nugget of wisdom was to "never say sorry to a student and never admit you're wrong." My philosophy as a teacher could never be more opposite."
911 Operators Break Down The Strangest Call They've Ever Received | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
A Little Rash
"No need to go to the doctor, it's just a little rash." It was Lyme's and I nearly died. "It was the Urgent Care nurse who said this. I believed it, my mom didn't, the next place sent me to the hospital."
- ATLander
"It bothers me how Americans need to make sure they ABSOLUTELY NEED to see a doctor before they go and look for medical help. It must suck that you can't just pop into the ER to check your weird rash, just to be safe. I really hope your healthcare gets better in the future."
"Also, I mean no offence, nor am I sh*tting on your country. I just wished everybody had the reassurance that they'll get the help they need without having to sell your firstborn. Someone mentioned an affordable system called Direct Primary Care. Don't know anything about it, just thought I should pass it on."
Failure to Launch
"My father once told me, when I was in my teens, "don't ever try anything new because you might fail." That's like the opposite of what good parents are supposed to say. He had recently went out and tried a career change and failed."
- rujoe
"My father said something similar. "You think like you live in a game. As if you're Super Mario in The Matrix."
"Something doesn't work out and you think you could just try again. That's not how life works, son. You need to have your entire life planned out and stick to that plan." For one, I did not think that. I was very well aware that I was on planet Earth in material form and that deus ex machinas don't happen in real life."
"Second, The Matrix does not work that way. Third, why do I need to have my life planned out at 13 years old? Aren't I supposed to try things out and then keep trying to do the things I enjoy until I'm good at them? Not according to my dad. He kept berating me about this until I finally moved out after graduating."
This was literally 1984!
Music Videos 80S GIFGiphy"In 1984 I was told by a friend's mom that computers were "a fad" and that I shouldn't major in computer science in college. I ignored that advice, it was obvious even then this was a crazy take. This was literally 1984! Van Halen wasn't really my scene though, I was more into new wave music at the time."
Family Fun
"When my mom was dying in hospice, a coworker of mine told me I should at least let her family know, even though my mom told me she didn't care if they knew or not. Well, I let them know, and I definitely regretted it. The sister and her kids made it an entire dramatic ordeal and had to be removed from the room. Her brother didn't even call or text, just sent his dingbat wife who didn't even notice my mom had already passed. Haven't heard from either of them in the year since she's passed. My mom was right."
Hands Down
"If somebody's mean to you it's because they like you." Can people please stop telling kids this? I used to believe it, too. Yeah, maybe sometimes it's true, but most of the time it's not! Especially above the age of 7 lol."
Ha Ha
"In 1998, I was a senior in college and completely frustrated by the college administrations inability to adapt to the online world, particularly with class scheduling. My last semester of school, where I was a jaded senior and didn't give a crap and just wanted enough hours to graduate."
"I remember a lady in the registrars office vehemently denying that registration would ever go online. Her words were something like "We will ALWAYS do in person registration, computers will never change that." I want to find that lady today and just smirk."
In the Shops
Julia Roberts Shopping GIF by SundanceTVGiphy"I was 19, thinking about maybe going to college or getting a job in finance. My friend's mum said "no, don't do that. You know where the real money is? Shops. Working in shops."
A Pinch
"You should let it pinch you, it won't hurt that much..."
"It was the biggest crawdad I ever saw and I was maybe like 10 fishing with my Dad. He didn't think I would be stupid enough to do it, but I wanted to impress him. The chaos that then ensued; I picked it up and let it pinch the soft skin between my thumb and hand promptly scream in pain."
"Dad was laughing his butt off tried to help just to be pinched by the other claw on the back of his hand. This cycle of continuous pinching continues as we stupidity try to help one another then finally we get it removed and my Dad says to body slam it so I throw it as hard as I can back into the lake."
Above It...
"Live above your means. It motivates you to do better" Uhhh...No."
"Had a sales manager basically say this. Honestly don't remember how the conversation got there, but was told "we need to get you some debt so that you will stay motivated." I preferred to live below my means so I could tell him to run off whenever I pleased."
Happy Away
"Try to think of happier things when you hallucinate. Yeah... let me just think of a unicorn, I can totally control schizophrenia. That'll help me not see the blurry faceless man following me in the hallway. Maybe I won't be so paranoid. That how that works, right? Happy away the illness."
The Scraper
"I scraped someone's truck in our apartment complex a few weeks after I first got my license at 18, in my defense he was very over the lines and it was the only available spot. Called my dad in a panic because I didn't know what to do, he told me to go park in the lot of the apartments next to us and just pretend nothing happened unless someone confronts me. New and inexperienced, I listened."
"Horrible advice, someone saw it and the guy found which apartment I was in. He was pissed but more understanding when he realized I was just a kid (to a guy In his 40s I guess 18 is a kid) and explained what happened. We worked insurance stuff out and I learned to never take my dad's advice."
"I should mention that I'm not considering 18 to be fully matured, I'm currently 24 and 18 year Olds definitely seem younger than they did when I was 18, I guess I consider kids to be more like people I wouldn't trust to leave home alone. That said, they are just as stupid as kids sometimes, like when they hit a truck and then take their dad's advice to do nothing and hope I don't get in trouble."
Perfection
"Don't break up with him! You're perfect together! Spoiler alert: we weren't."
"Not the same but in adjacent territory, my ex-bf's sister said we should have a baby together because they make everything awesome. I was in my early 20s in college, and he was in his late 30s as were his siblings. I was obviously in a predatory dynamic and didn't know it at the time but I definitely wasn't about to take her advice."
No Dear
Cbs No GIF by HULUGiphy"Former mother in law- if you love him harder he won't hit you."
- Atheva31
"My grandmother told my mom "maybe try making him decent coffee and he would be gentler" forget you Gretchen."
Advice is tricky. Everyone wants to help. And more often than not we're all more failing than helping. Learning to listen to our gut and our won voice is where we should start with advice. That's my advice. Let's try... begin.
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Men Who've Gotten A Vasectomy Share Their Experiences
Reddit user GaleNotTheWind asked: 'Men of Reddit who have gotten a vasectomy, what was your experience?'
According to the Cleveland Clinic, over 50 million men have had a vasectomy.
Although avoiding sexual intercourse is the only effective way to avoid pregnancy, the male birth control procedure still has a low failure rate.
Those who are apprehensive about having a vasectomy fear the following: pain, impact on sex life, effectiveness, and side effects like cancer. (The National Cancer Institute and the American Urological Association have found that the procedure does not increase the risk of prostate cancer).
To seek some reassurance, Redditor GaleNotTheWind asked:
"Men of Reddit who have gotten a vasectomy, what was your experience?"
Guys discuss what happened after the snipping.
Making Sure
"For the love of God, do the follow-up appointment. The last thing you want is to be accidentally playing with a loaded gun."
– sleepypanda59
Wise To Wait
"The paper work I got for mine which was done less than 2 weeks ago said that you could have sex 2-3 days after but... definitely said to wait another few days."
– SisterPhister666
Follow Post-Surgical Procedures Or Else
"Had it done twice while living in Japan no less. Why twice? The first one failed."
"... apparently, so did the second (says my now 6 year old daughter)."
– shoelessmarcelshell
These men found that the procedure itself wasn't a big deal.
Assurance
"I was super anxious, but I had a great procedure. I was more freaked out about the shot of numbing agent to the balls, but it was legit nothing to worry about."
Normal In No Time
"Little operation, blue balls and no wanking for a week, then back to normal but without getting anyone pregnant."
– Bright_Composer_3901
"Made the mistake of having a pop after a couple of days. Jesus, the regret."
– Alante
Best Money Ever Spent
"When I woke up after the anesthesia - yes I asked to be put under, best $55 (after insurance) I ever spent - the caffeine headache I had upon waking was the most painful part. The preoperative instructions were nothing but water the evening before, no water for 4 hours before going under. The Safeway brand cola that the angel aftercare nurse brought me was pure refreshment."
– HarrumphingDuck
Cherry On Top
"Local anesthesia stings for a second or two then all you can feel is tugging after all is done the pain I would describe is like blue balls for like 2 days tops. I took a week off work recommend by doctor since I’m a construction worker and the heavy lifting but I felt like after day 3 I was good to go. Cons: minor pain discomfort, no hanky panky until last semen sample came out clear. Pros: , no unplanned pregnancies(it’s still possible very rarely)."
– Secure_Requirement84
Some final thoughts.
Only Pros
"To me, the only bad part was the smell of the cauterization of my vas deferens.. the procedure was fine. Local anesthesia before and during just felt slight tugging no pain. Recovery was easy. No pain. No cons. Only pros. And if absolutely need be it’s reversible. Much easier and less invasive than a woman getting her tubes tied and significantly less harmful than birth control. I’m an advocate. Get it done!"
– PunchARacist
One Unsettling Thing
"For me, it wasn’t the smell but watching the little puffs of smoke during the cauterization. That was truly and deeply unsettling."
"Otherwise, yeah, nothing major to report. Stayed in bed for a day watching old horror movies and assembling a Lego plant. Pretty much business as usual after that."
– GuestCartographer
The One Constant
"Got a vasectomy, it worked. Got it reversed, that worked.... twice Got another vasectomy...17 years later, all good. Just go to a legit great Dr. I mean top of the field Dr. For ANY messsin around down there. Vasectomy is WAY easier now than 25-30 years ago. In/out in an hour... The only thing that hasn't changed? ... The bag of frozen peas ..😂"
– richwat00
Vasectomies are performed via two methods, the incision vasectomy or a no-scalpel vasectomy, and both use local anesthesia to numb the scrotum.
Always consult a healthcare provider before undergoing the procedure and–most importantly–make sure you don't want to have children or that you and your spouse don't want to add additional family members.
Based on the anecdotes above, there's nothing to fear, so feel free to man up and get to snipping.
The Scariest Yet Most Realistic Films About The Future Ever Made
I've always enjoyed a good scare on film and my Mother indulged my preferences as she also loved a good horror film.
While we thoroughly enjoyed a good Disney movie together, I was also allowed to watch Jaws, The Exorcist and The Omen before I was 10 years old.
Slashers and sci-fi frights were good, but to me the most effective scares involved nightmarish scenarios that might easily happen in the not so distant future.
For me, growing up Roman Catholic meant demonic possession and the AntiChrist were on the list of plausible fears.
But what films offered possible Hellscapes for others?
Reddit user beefgulash asked:
"What is the scariest—yet most realistic—future film ever made?"
Threads
"I thought that BBC’s nuclear holocaust Threads was much more terrifying and depressing than United States TV movie The Day After."
~No-Distance425
"Threads might genuinely be the most terrifying thing I’ve ever seen."
~ ThorCoolguy
Her
"Her. Everyone is so online that they lost the ability to make human connections, to the point where it's a business for the main character to write personal letters on behalf of others."
"So lonely, he easily falls in love with an AI and the only one who still feels real emotions, his ex wife (Rooney Mara), is treated like a crazy person."
"With everyone too online and severely lonely, we are practically living in that emotional dystopia now."
~ grandmofftalkin
Children of Men
"Children of Men. You want to know what makes it so scarily realistic?"
"Alfonso Cuaron deliberately shot scenes in East London and asked the production designers to make it 'more Mexican'—in other words, make it look even more run-down than it already was."
"Cuaron leaned in on his own experiences in growing up in Mexico and seeing everyday poverty to bring that to look and feel to a futuristic London. The future-London isn't a gleaming metropolis—it's a metropolis on the verge of collapse and giving up."
"The battle scenes weren't fantastical as so many sci-fi dystopian films often are: they're based on real, real conflicts. Cuaron was smart to include imagery from the then-current Iraq invasion and the atrocities committed in Abu Ghraib to jar the viewer's thoughts and attentions just long enough to make them feel queasy."
"The shots of illegal immigrants in cages were disturbing then—well, they should be f*cking frightening now. Cuaron and the production designers saturated that film with little visual snippets of then-current events and fictional future atrocities to make it a highly believable—and scary—world."
~ PureDeidBrilliant
Contagion
"Contagion—a movie about a coronavirus outbreak, that pre-dated COVID-19."
~ glrd1
"When I saw that movie in theaters, there was someone coughing a few rows behind. Like, big, wet, juicy coughs..."
"I hated that immersive movie experience."
~ only_bubble_sort
"The fast killing virus that spreads around the world was a bit unrealistic but man was it a trip watching this during lockdowns."
"I'd never heard of 'social distancing' until the pandemic and it and other pandemic facts of life coming out in the movie hit home."
~ Dmzm
A Scanner Darkly
"A Scanner Darkly. A large amount of the population have become drug addicts, the government enacts a total police state, and the addicts slowly descend into insanity, and eventually are put into rehab once their brains are fried.
"Once they are 'rehabed' (they are basically lobotomized, or brainwashed) they are sent to work on large corporate farms."
"The same corporations that own the rehabs, also own the farms, and they are also the ones growing the illicit drugs that cause the whole problem."
~ CmTrumpet
The Road
"The Road. I remember seeing the premiere of it at a film festival and the director and cast were there and all smiles and jokes and so happy to be there…and then the movie plunged all of us into pure despair for 2 hours."
~ Other-Marketing-6167
"I read the book multiple times before the movie came out."
"The movie makes your heart break, but the book destroys your soul and will to live for like a week after reading."
~ Some-Philly-Dude
WALL-E
"WALL-E. The fact that Pixar showed everyone a very real future Earth if we continue down the path we're on and nobody did anything about it speaks volumes. Everyone knows sh*t's f*cked."
"I'm rooting for the roomba with solar panels who gets outside after we've annihilated ourselves, enjoy fulfilling your set purpose lil' dude."
~ Shes_dead_Jim
Gattaca
"Gattaca. If you ever watch it again listen to how they talk about him and his 'condition'."
"It’s all 'could” and 'might' and 'possibly' and similar caveats."
"His only 'condition' was being a natural birth and not a designer baby."
~ pocket-friends
RoboCop
"RoboCop. Dude dies at work. Gets resurrected to continue working."
"Also the whole bit about corporations privatizing public services."
"Feels like we're gonna be there in a few years."
~ Gentleman_Jack90
Elysium
"Elysium strikes me as the most realistic, as far as the social structure."
"You have an ultra rich class, a mercenary type 'middle' class, and everyone else is fighting for the scraps."
~ Maliluma
"Sure seems like the logic extension of the widening global gap between a few ultra-wealthy and the rest of the population."
"The ultra-wealthy already are invested in space travel, colonizing Mars, island compounds and extreme longevity."
~ RichardBonham
Logan's Run
"Logan's Run, it's a bit of a cult classic."
"In the future, there are limited places for humans to live, so everyone has an 'expiration date' regardless of how healthy they are."
"Everyone has to die before a certain age. I won't spoil it in case anyone wants to see it."
"It's an old school sci-fi movie that I have loved since I was a kid."
~ macmac360
12 Monkeys
"No one mentioned 12 Monkeys yet?"
"Found it super realistic and scary."
~ mrs_anouk
Soylent Green
"Soylent Green solves both problems of overpopulation and food scarcity.... so, maybe it will happen."
"I just hope they think of 3rd Degree Burn Scorchin' Habanero Soylent Green when they do it."
~ ketchuptheclown
Metropolis
"Metropolis. Complete masterpiece in my opinion."
~ CaptianOfCows
Idiocracy
"Idiocracy."
~ BrilliantlyClueless
"I like to believe that somewhere in that world a pocket of smart people retreated to someplace isolated like New Zealand and persisted."
~ notapunk
Zombies! 🧟♂️🧟♀️🧟
Personally, I love zombie movies based on the concept from George A. Romero's classic Night Of The Living Dead.
Zombies existed in myths and legends before Romero's film, but not in the way they do now in popular culture.
Romero's movies also always included social commentary on economic inequality, racism and the ills of unbridled capitalism.
To me zombie films show how people would react in a viral health crisis and our recent pandemic made them all the more real.
So what movies do you think are scary because they're too real?
The Worst Reasons Cheaters Have Given To Justify Their Infidelity
Infidelity in marriages isn't as widespread as people think. While some cynics would have us believe faithful partners are scarce, they account for over 4 out of 5 spouses.
Still, 16% of married couples in the United States admitted to being unfaithful at some point in their marriage.
And 57% of divorces were due to cheating.
In marriages where infidelity occurs, but doesn't result in divorce, the loss of trust is still a problem. It can make emotional and physical intimacy challenging.
So why do people cheat instead of ending their relationship before moving on?
Reddit user littlehoneybear2104 asked:
"What is the worst reason you've heard for cheating on someone?"
What's Old Is New Again
"He wanted to try something new."
"He cheated on me with his ex."
~ meeez80
GiphyPreemptive Strike
"Just in case he would ever cheat on me, I cheated first, so it's his fault for possibly cheating on me in the first place."
~ Competitive_Bat4986
Mission Accomplished
"To have a reason to end the relationship."
~ chewie_33
Tough Enough
"He said I'm strong and I can handle it."
"Like WTF? Does that give someone a free pass just to cheat?"
"Like we ain't tolerating that too. Done with that person."
~ drn-07
GiphyDream On
"Ex cheated on me because I cheated on her in a dream shehad and she was sure it was a sign that I was unfaithful in real life."
~ Craigothy-YeOldeLord
Oops!
"It was an accident."
"Yeah, 'I tripped and fell into her vagina' sounds legit."
~ dabbad525
GiphyGrow Up
"You didn’t show me enough attention the past few years! You didn’t take me anywhere! I’m the baby in my family, I need attention!”
"I worked 3 jobs, played with the kids, and finished a degree… during COVID while EVERYWHERE was closed."
~ hephaestus1219
Lockdown
"I was together with her for 14 years, married for 6 and this dipsh*t said we stagnated for a year during COVID because we didn’t go out anywhere...because she was deathly afraid of COVID."
"Some people are so pathetically stupid."
~ Virgin_nerd
GiphyUnsupervised
"My best friend in high school/college claimed it was my fault she cheated on her boyfriend because I left them in the room alone together with the she cheated with."
~ Smart_Form_9569
Too Perfect?
"My ex said it was because I was 'too perfect' and that he couldn't live up to the standard I had set by being who I was."
~ MarvelousShiggyDiggy
Trauma Response
"My cousin’s ex said she felt she had to hook up with the guy working the front register at Walgreens because of the events of 9-11."
"I’m not even kidding. This was on 9-11."
"She apparently was so upset she staggered into Walgreens and fell on the first guy she saw."
~ Big_Psychology_4210
In The Stars
"My ex cheated on me because 'August has new energy'—something to do with astrology. And yes, I mean the month August, not someone named August."
~ Frog-Thing
Giphy*yawn* 🥱
"The relationship just got boring"
"Their marriage seemed perfect inside and out, except she got bored of being a wife and mother."
"She tried fighting for the marriage after her affair partner died of a heart attack and husband called her out on her bullsh*t."
~ DevilinDeTales
Some people aren't meant for commitment, but that should be something they disclose to their partners before they cheat.
It would avoid a lot of wasted time and heartbreak.
When it comes to flirting, everyone has their preferences of how they like to be flirted with. Some people like cleverly crafted pickup lines.
I always thought pickup lines were a cheap way to get someone's attention. That being said, there are some good ones out there. I've been on the receiving end of both. "On a scale from one to America, how free are you tonight?" and, "You must be the square root of two because I feel irrational around you."
Both got me to engage in conversation, and I even dated the guy who used the first one for a while.
I'm not the only one that knows some good pickup lines. Redditors have both heard and used some pickup lines and are eager to share their favorites.
It all started when Redditor Sauce_Dealer420 asked:
"What's the best pickup line of all time?"
Read It And See
"You put the sexy in dyslexic."
– koookyko
"This made me laugh so hard."
"Because I can read properly."
– TappedIn2111
I'm Hooked
"This girl I used to work with and I went to a bar after work and we’re having fun, and she leans over to tell me a joke. And she says:"
"Three boy mice and a girl mouse were all stuck in a room with no doors and no windows. One of the boy mice asked the girl mouse how to get out and she said, “Sleep with me tonight, and I’ll tell you in the morning.""
"The next day, he is gone. The second boy mouse asks the girl mouse how he got out and she says, “Sleep with me tonight, and I’ll tell you in the morning.""
"Next day, he’s gone too."
"So now the girl telling me this joke says to me, “Do you want to know how the last mouse gets out of the box?”
"And I say “yes.""
"And she says, “Sleep with ME tonight, and I’ll tell you in the morning”. All this while staring me in the eyes and smiling."
"I said, “Check please bartender!!""
"I forgot to ask her in the morning, but that was the best pickup line I’ve ever heard."
– reb678
Statistics
"The odds we sleep together are 50% because half of us agree so far."
– AlfheimKitteh
"Math is always super sexy."
– Acceptable-News-6811
Money, Money, Money
"Hey girl, are you the English financial system? Because I'm about to give you a weak pound."
– onemanwolfpack21
"Yo girl, do you know exchange rates? Because Euro 10."
– kkirchhoff
Winner, Winner
""Are you a magician? Cuz every time I look at you, everyone else disappears.""
"This line got me a wife and three kids. 😊"
– PRSHZ
One Liners
"Are you a beaver? Cuz damn."
– Starry_Night-
"If you were a fruit you'd be a fineapple."
– Slainna
"Hi, do you want to go for a ride on a Harley?"
"(My name is Harley) 😁"
– OMNIxvTRIX
No Losers
"If I asked you for a date would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this question?"
– SchemePale6222
"I got blue screen in my head."
"Explain please."
– TastyToothpasta
"You can't lose. Say no, the answer is yes. Say yes, the answer is also yes."
"Dang sounds kinda creepy writing it out like that. Still clever wordplay though."
– Steeze_Schralper6968
Clever
"My go-to was always:"
"I used to be a history teacher, so I know lots of important dates. Want to help me make another one?"
"A little corny, but it usually worked."
– StuffToday
Refreshing
"That one actually worked with my ex on the first try."
"-Hey, do you like water?"
"-Yes."
"-Then you like me in 70% already."
– azurskyy
Sneaky
"Would you date a complete stranger?"
"If she says “yes” you’re in."
If she says “no.”
“Then allow me to introduce myself.”"
– Blastspark01
Playing Coy
"Once a girl came to me and told there was somebody who thought I was cute."
"I asked her who and she said “Me.""
– evil_boy4life
Prop Lines
"You have to have a handful of limes available to do this:"
"Hold the limes, drop the limes in front of the lucky person. Then say 'Sorry, I'm not very good at pick up limes.'"
– cannibalcats
Egg-cellent
"Best one that worked for me was:"
"Me: How do you like your eggs?"
"Her: Over easy, why?"
"Me: Just making sure I have things right for when I make you breakfast in the morning."
– Radiant_Boss4342
The Best Line
"How you doin?"
– 2x4x93
"There was a time when this was the ONLY line you could use!"
– JohnsLong_Silver
That line would definitely work on me!