People Share Their Views On Having Children

People Share Their Views On Having Children
Kelli McClintock on Unsplash

I've known many people who grew up in happy and stable families. I also know plenty of others who did not have the best upbringing or who don't get along with their parents one bit.

A while back, someone confided in me that they do not feel their parent were meant to have children. This was a lot for this person to take in. What would their parent's life have been like if they had felt comfortable or had been able to make a different choice?

It's a lot to think about — having a child is one of those singular events that can change the trajectory of your entire life.


People shared their thoughts with us after Redditor idkwhatoput_111 asked the online community:

"What are your views on having kids?"

"If you want them..."

"If you want them, raise them right. Discipline them, but be kind, don't provoke them to wrath. If you don't want them, that is valid. If you create something in this world, take care of it."

Nomadic_Narwhal

Agreed. Also understand that the world they are going to live in might be very different than the world you grew up in.

"Being firm but still reasonable..."

"Being firm but still reasonable and kind is so important. I'm as anti-authoritarian as ever existed, but if you're a parent you gotta RAISE a human and that's fundamentally different from being their buddy who they give easy love to because you let them do as they please."

Ffleance

You'd be authoritative, then, instead of authoritarian. Significantly better parenting style.

"I have a daughter and a stepson."

"I have a daughter and a stepson. I love them, and I love being a father, but if you don't want kids you shouldn't have them."

MeringueInternal563

Indeed. You should not have a child till you want one, and feel you are ready. They are a lot of work, and expensive.

"More people..."

"More people should ask themselves whether it’s really for them before having them."

CIsForCookie

Indeed. Sex education matters.

"I'm all for..."

"I definitely had friends who swore they weren't having kids just wind up pregnant. Some of them have grown into it and some haven't."

"I'm all for people changing their minds. We grow up. Follow your heart. But be careful it's not just FOMO or boredom or something."

Nonplussed2

Such introspection is definitely valued! More people should think like this.

"This could all be prevented..."

"I feel that if more people actually paused and took a second to ask themselves, “Is this really what I want? Or is it because society/family members expect me to?” there would be a shift in the number of people having kids - for the better. It isn’t good for anyone involved to have kids and then later realize it’s not for them, after the kid is here."

"Those people likely won’t be great parents, and they risk their kid feeling unwanted. That could all be prevented if more people just stopped to think about what they actually want in life, whether or not they are suited to handle the challenges of raising another human being, and cared less about what society or family expects of them."

zzz06

It should be presented as a choice rather than an expectation.

"I had parents that..."

"I am not neurologically suited to the role of being a parent. I had parents that should not have had any kids, let alone 5, so I am firm on this point. I cannot be a good parent, and in my opinion if you can't be a good one you shouldn't be one at all."

TemporaryProduct928

And if you grew up in a home with apathetic parents you don't want to live out that same apathy with your own children.

"Make sure..."

"Make sure you can afford them."

No-Consideration6589

Important point that it's more than just affordability — children can be emotionally taxing and you have to be capable of dealing with that.

"I wish people didn't see it..."

"I wish people didn't see it as "the next step" in life but just as a thing you can do if you have the desire and means to."

itsmyfrigginusername

That, and not seeing it as somehow being selfish when you choose not to have kids.

"Too many people..."

"Make sure you healed your trauma and generational trauma before even thinking about them. Too many people get children to fill an emptiness… turning the child into their own doll/therapist and then get upset when it becomes a person and not a mirror image."

kamalaophelia

Understanding and facing generational trauma is so important. Being able to have the courage to heal yourself can then make having children something you might consider.

As you can see, having kids is not an easy decision — and no easy task. It's always worth doing some soul-searching before you decide to have one, but life is of course much more complicated than that for some.

Have some suggestions of your own? Tell us more in the comments below!


One of the hardest things in the world is being able to afford life's necessities. We all work and make money (or have parents that do), but having money and being able to afford what you need are two different things.

I'm not just talking about the latest gadgets, either.

Not having a fancy knife set or the newest Apple Watch won't destroy your life.

I'm talking about the things so vital to our survival that they should be cheap, but are actually near impossible to afford.

Redditors know this to be true and are ready to share what some of those vital things are.

Keep reading...Show less
People Divulge The Stupidest Thing They've Ever Done For Someone They Had Feelings For
Photo by REVOLT on Unsplash

Oh, the things we do for love...

Are we stupid, crazy, naive, or merely desperate?

Or all of the above?

Love looks like such a good time.

So of course everyone is on the hunt for it.

And sometimes we fall into people who don't love us, but we try to make it work.

This can lead us to do some incredibly questionable things when we look back.

Keep reading...Show less

Kids don't say the darndest things.

They say the craziest things.

I feel like some kids are dark psychics here to throw us off our game.

But I dislike children so I could be exaggerating.

Some of the phrases and prophecies I've heard children espousing have left my head spinning.

Where do they learn this stuff?

Keep reading...Show less
Fancy cupcake
Deva Williamson/Unsplash

Do you notice how food courts in shopping malls have different types of cuisine–most of which are very westernized interpretations of food from various cultures?

Panda Express, for instance, is supposedly Chinese food, while Sbarro claims to serve Italian food.

While mall food is not fancy–and it's okay if you thought they were–it's not necessarily everyone's cup of tea.

Yet, some of these walk-up establishments have huge lines because shoppers either don't know any better and think the offerings are authentic, or it's just a matter of convenience for them to look for a quick bite.

Keep reading...Show less