Therapists Explain Which 'Weird Confessions' Many Patients Are Afraid To Share That're Actually Quite Normal
Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

There is no shame.

That is rule number one when in therapy.

We all share more in common mentally than we care to admit.

So don't be afraid of your truth.

A therapist can't help if you're too weirded out to talk it out.


Redditor Music-and-wine wanted to hear what some therapists thoughts about our wildest issues.

So they asked:

"Therapists, what is something people are afraid to tell you because they think it's weird, but that you've actually heard a lot of times before?"

I think everything I think is weird. So... no shocking here.

Explore

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"I have heard some variant of 'This is probably weird, but I feel if I am my true self around others then they won't like me' more times than I can count. As I explore the formative situations to this belief alongside my clients it definitely pulls at my heart strings."

oreganick

Brush them off...

"Intrusive thoughts. Nearly everyone has thoughts about pushing the old lady onto the subway train, swerving into opposing traffic, or stabbing their loved one in the stomach while cooking dinner with them. Some folks, however, take these thoughts very serious that believe that they might act them out. It's called thought-action-fusion. Most of us are able to brush them off, though."

vedderer

'Fit in'

"I'd say a common one is believing that there's something innately, irreparably wrong with them that makes them unable to ever truly 'fit in.' For a lot of people it's such a deeply ingrained belief that it can be extremely painful to acknowledge or express, regardless of the level of personal success in their lives."

GuidedBySteven

On the Daily

"That they don't like their family members, are angry/want to stop communication with their parents etc. I work in a country which Is more culturally collectivist, so not wanting anything to do with your parents makes you an a**hole in the current cultural sense."

"We deal with this almost on a daily basis. There is deep and profound shame in this and when we find that line of 'oh, it might be that your parents are toxic to your mental well being/trigger your trauma' many of my clients actually get visibly angry with me."

"Cultural psychology is so important, cause when I first moved here I had my American/European hat on, oh boy, did I need to adjust."

leonilaa

So far it's agreed. We all need help.

Fail

"Clients become quite fearful of admitting that they weren't successful since the last time they had a session. This could include not succeeding in using a coping skill that they're learning about, or not being able to complete a homework assignment I gave them. Humans aren't robots, and therapy is a lot of work."

"That being said, I don't expect people to be perfect as they start to work on themselves in a positive way. It takes time to really commit to change, especially in relation to trauma or conflicted views that an individual holds. I feel as if the client doesn't want to let me down as their therapist, but these 'failure' events are just as important to talk about as successful moments!'

DnDYetti

Many Questions

"Usually it’s sex related. Shame about their desires or kinks is common. Gender questioning is another. Some people are ashamed of things they did in childhood or adolescence, haven’t ever told anyone and think the team will be horrified. We have heard everything. Everything. I’m always compassionate and always understand why we do the things we do. I’ve yet to have anyone bring something I can’t ‘get.'"

throwaway4u2021

Normal

"Many of my clients lived through severe childhood trauma and neglect. They had no one to model or explain healthy emotions or to show them appropriate ways to react to stress, fear, anger, etc. Most often they’ll describe a completely normal reaction to a stressor and then follow that up with 'I don’t know if that’s normal.' These are adults who were exposed to so much dysfunction during their formative years that they don’t know whether it’s normal to cry when they’re anxious or afraid, feel angry when their boundaries have been violated, etc."

yayeayeah619

Too Close

"Hidden sexual dreams and fantasies about family members. More common than people think, and often stays that way and doesn't really interfere in the person's close relationships unless they allow it. Many things we dream or think are unconscious and involuntary, and the root of such things is often nonsensical."

REDDIT

I'm Done

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"Women often feel really ashamed when they tell me they are burnt out on being a parent or that they never want to have kids. I wish all of them knew how common this thought is."

trick_deck

Therapy is rough, but so helpful. Below are some resources to utilize if necessary.

If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988.

To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/