Top Stories

Shameless People Share Their "Book Me A One Way Ticket To Hell" Moments

Shameless People Share Their "Book Me A One Way Ticket To Hell" Moments

Shameless People Share Their "Book Me A One Way Ticket To Hell" Moments

[rebelmouse-image 18359798 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Both of my parents are ministers, so I grew up going to church several times a week. I've been convinced I was going to hell for, like, forever. I've never really done anything terrible, but I've certainly got a dark sense of humor. Maybe that's why I couldn't help clicking when I saw this Reddit question:

People without shame, what was your biggest "I just booked my one way pass to hell" moment?

I'm suddenly not feeling so bad about the time I couldn't help cracking up at my friend's grannies funeral. Trust me, these people have done WAY worse.

Grandma's Socks

[rebelmouse-image 18359799 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

My son was in Grade 1, and liked to wear pink socks. While I was waiting to pick him up, one of his little friends comes by. "Do you know {your son} wears pink socks? Like a girl!!"

I replied "His grandmother gave him those socks, because she loves him very much." Then I cocked my head and made eye contact. "Doesn't YOUR grandmother give YOU socks?"

He muttered "No". I said "Huh" and looked at him with deep pity. Then walked away.

Wheelchair

[rebelmouse-image 18359800 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

The police busted a party I was throwing and I answered the door in a wheelchair to make the officers feel uncomfortable enough to not enter the house. My legs work fine.

I had every intention of spilling out of the chair onto the ground and pretending I couldn't walk and didn't need the officers help getting back into my seat if he tried to enter the house. In theory, it would have given my friends enough time to get rid of anything illegal we may have had in the house at the time. So there.

For everyone asking where I got the wheelchair, one of my roommates worked at an old folks home that was getting rid of a couple of them and she was asked to take them to the dump. My other two roommates and I convinced her to let us keep them instead and we used them as porch chairs and for drunken downhill races.

Zombie Bite

[rebelmouse-image 18359801 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Not me but my Mum. It was Halloween and she opened the door to a couple of little kids trick or treating. The kids were dressed up really good all covered in fake blood and stuff, so my Mum says something like "wowwww you look so scary!". She then notices one of the kids has his arm tucked into his shirt so she yells "WOAH WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR ARM? DID A ZOMBIE BITE IT OFF?!". The kid starts crying, my Mum then realizes that he legitimately only has one arm... so she just silently shuts the door on them and was absolutely mortified.

Religious Torture Porn Is Hilarious

[rebelmouse-image 18359802 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Went with my whole (very catholic) family, including grandma, to see The Passion of the Christ. My brother and I were both a little fidgety and bored for most of it. That was NOT the attitude of anyone else in this particular theater.

For those who haven't seen it (SPOILER ALERT) Jesus dies, and is put in a tomb. The screen fades to black.

The women behind us start clapping. Frantic excited clapping.

And then the scene fades back in, and there is another whole two minutes to the movie, making it seem like the women were applauding the death of Jesus, and not the film itself.

My brother (loudly) whispers to me "Well, they are going to hell!"

I could not stop laughing. Tears running down my face, cannot catch my breath, snorting, barking laughter. AND THEN THE MOVIE ENDED.

The lights come up in the theater, and I look like I am LAUGHING at the religious torture we just sat through.

Looks like it is me that's going to hell.

"Can't Bear It"

[rebelmouse-image 18359803 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

My friend has a giant bear stuffed animal thats basically with her at all times in her dorm room. She went to an exam one day and my friend hung the bear from the ceiling in her dorm room. She came back from her exam all upset bc she didnt do that well and came back to her dorm room to that.... yeah hes going to hell

Oh and there was a note on the bear that said, "idk about you but i just couldn't bear it anymore"

Slipped On The Ice

[rebelmouse-image 18359804 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

It was a cold Winter day, and it was my 2nd time circling the block looking for a parking space on the street.

On the icy sidewalk, I see an elderly woman who is easily in her 90's. She slips on the ice and falls hard on her back right beside me at the same time a car 10 metres away pulls out.

She made direct eye contact with me, lying in the snow.

I mouthed "I'm sorry..." and pulled ahead into the available spot.

By the time I ran back to help, there were 2 other people assisting and she didn't look like she wanted me there anyway at that point.

Eye Contact

[rebelmouse-image 18359805 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Well this was while I was working as an electrician. I was driving my service truck into a back alley and saw a bunch of young kids. One of them makes eye contact and for whatever reason I just maintained it as I drove by dimly aware of running over something small. Then after I passed I realized I ran over his fucking bike. I looked the kid straight in the eye while I crushed what I assume is only means transportation.

I didn't stop. I was late for a service call.

High School Awkward

[rebelmouse-image 18347364 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

An older friend of mine announced to our group that his grandfather had just died. He wasn't particularly upset since they'd seen it coming for some time, but that doesn't excuse my next comment: "Haha, you probably killed him didn't you?"

I... I don't know what I was thinking. I was in my mid teenage years and was always trying to be the class clown, but that- that is just inexcusable. And only after the other 3-4 people in the room gasped and stared at me did I realize the cosmic idiocy of what I'd just said. I slapped my hands over my mouth and apologized profusely. Luckily the guy understood I was just being an awkward high school idiot and said it was fine. We're still in touch to this day.

Eating Tree Bark

[rebelmouse-image 18359806 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

I slammed a mentally disabled kid into a pine tree, face first, and held him there until the cops showed up.

We caught him climbing out of my parent's bedroom window when we got home... He tried to run, he wound up eating tree bark.

Turns out that not only was the kid mentally disabled, but he had a crush on my baby sister, and broke in to, in his words: "Wait for her to get home."

Wtf.

To top it off, dude was the younger brother of my first high school sweetheart. We had broken up several years before the kid broke in.

Holy Water

[rebelmouse-image 18359806 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Late to the thread, but my best friend and I once stole holy water from a Catholic Church to put in our bong to smoke out of. I swear we got higher.

"Walking Like An Idiot"

[rebelmouse-image 18359808 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Details: Was camping with friends and came into town to grab socks because I only brought 3 pairs and they had gotten wet. Went to Walmart and straight to the bathroom in the back of the store. Someone had TRASHED the small stall, so I went in the big one. I had eaten nothing but cliff bars for like 3 days and i was prettt stopped up. It hurt and I was in tears pushing out what felt like a small child.

Queue electric wheelchair. It's red. I see it roll up to the stall. He jiggles the door, sighs and grunts, then backs in neatly near the trash can to wait it out. Im frozen. What do I do?! Do I tell him sorry, it's gonna be a minute? I don't know! So I stay there, silently crying, until im done. I took 10 minutes to wipe, trying to be a quiet as possible. His caretaker comes in and goes "oh someone's in there?" Wheelchair guy grunts. 5 min later, he leaves and, presumably, goes to the other bathroom.

Finally, I open the stall, wash my hands, and pretend to have cerebral palsy or something as I walk out. He sees me. Wheelchair guy knows. Then, my friends see me and ask why I'm walking like an idiot, in front of him. My heart sank that day.

One Leg, No Prosthetic

[rebelmouse-image 18359809 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

I was riding passenger in someone's car and saw a rather heavy set man riding his bike up the hill and was struggling greatly to do so. (I was 15 btw- I swear I'm not a POS anymore) and said "Wowww, he's sure having a hard time today, too many cheeseburgers??" And stared at the driver like I was expecting them to laugh. We both look over, and the guy has one fucking leg. No prosthetic. He was biking uphill with one goddamn leg. Driver just stared at me and shook his head and said "Good job as$hole, you just made a fat joke at a cripple."

I'm not sure which is worse, but it is safe to say I'll never mock someone like that again.

I felt like such a bastard.

I Was Tired

[rebelmouse-image 18359810 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Driving in a snowstorm I pull up to a red light and notice a car skidded off into the ditch. The guy is standing there on the side of the road staring right at me probably wanting me to help (it was late at night and no other cars on the road). The light turned green and I drove off, I was tired and wanted to sleep, hopefully he was okay!

Bongos At A Funeral

[rebelmouse-image 18359811 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

My good friend passed away in high school. We were encouraged to go to a church for a prayer session a couple days after he died. A few of my friends and I were sitting in one of the pews when one of them pointed out that this guy on stage was absolutely getting after it on the bongos which did not fit the mood at all. I was laughing so hard I was crying. I then had a handful of people walk up to me and hug me because they thought I was crying from sadness and not from laughter. Felt bad but I know my friend would have saw the humor in it.

Bike Lock

[rebelmouse-image 18359813 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

When I was 21, we were at a house party and I locked a bike lock around a passed out guy's neck downstairs that everyone knew used to beat up his girlfriends. When we left, I threw the keys in a bush about three blocks down the road. Nobody knew I did it, and I didn't tell anyone for years. I have no idea how he got it off. For all I know, he's still walking around with it on, 13 years later.

New Hobby Lobby Hobby

[rebelmouse-image 18359814 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

Me and my husband, both dudes, specifically go to Hobby Lobby to make out in secluded aisles.

Imaginary Friend

[rebelmouse-image 18359816 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

I was working on a group project in college and we were having trouble coming up with a time we could all do with classes and work schedules. At one point a day is mentioned where myself and a second person in the group days we'd prefer not because we have standing friend groups that meet on that day and didn't want to give it up for a series of weeks for the project. Most people were cool, but this one girl starts laying this huge guilt trip about how we suck for prioritizing friends over grades and we should just cancel on our friends.

We toss times around a bit longer and come up with late Sunday morning, except the uptight chick from before who says Sundays are out because she does stuff for her church all day and it's her day for God. I was being mouthy and replied, "Well shit, if you're gonna chill with your imaginary friend all day you certainly can't get on us about hanging out with people that are real!"

She didn't think it was funny.... Most of the rest of the group had to hide a laugh though.

Blackmail

[rebelmouse-image 18359817 is_animated_gif= dam=1 expand=1]

When I was in high school I asked for blackmail money from a friend's mom because I caught her cheating on her husband. I won't go too much into details but I had prove too and I thought I was edgy as fuck. Got 500$ out of it and I would occasionally tell her "I need 100$ by Friday or I'm showing (friends name) the pictures."

I was like 15 when I did that, I still can't believe I did it. And no, I never spilled the beans, but I still have the emails/pictures etc.

I also hacked this one guy's Facebook that use to bully me and got him in some real shit too. No one would ever suspect me of these things either.

H/T: Reddit

Women Explain Which Mistakes Dads Make Raising Daughters

Reddit user Bluemonday82 asked: 'Daughters of reddit: what's the biggest mistake dads make with their daughters?'

man with girl on his shoulders

Brittani Burns on Unsplash

"Daddy's Girl, Daddy's Girl, I'm the center of Daddy's world..." ~ "Daddy's Girl" by Red Sovine

A lot has been written about the bond between fathers and daughters.

But there's always room for improvement, right?

And who better to offer constructive criticism than daughters?

Keep reading...Show less
woman making the shushing gesture

Bjorn Pierre on Unsplash

Full disclosure at all times with your significant other, right?

Yeah, good luck with that.

Let's get real—there are things we don't tell our partners for a lot of reasons.

Sometimes you just don't feel like having to explain something that doesn't really affect them.

Sometimes you're protecting them from something that will have a devastating effect on them.

These are probably going to be more that second one...

Keep reading...Show less

We all have that moment where someone we know says something so completely absurd, the only response we think of is 'WTF is wrong with you?'

Sometimes, it's something woefully inaccurate that you can't wrap your head around the fact that someone believes that.

Othertimes, it's something completely offensive and you regret your association with that person.

My college roommate was a girl I knew from my high school. I didn't know her too well, but we had some big things in common, so I figured it'd be fun to live with her.

This girl was half-Korean and talked a lot about racist people. At first, I let her rant, figuring maybe she or someone in her family faced some racism. I faced some myself, and I agreed with most of the things she said about racists. Eventually, however, I realized she was equating the word 'racist' with the word 'white.'

I spoke to her once, telling her she can't use 'racist' and 'white' interchangeably. She agreed to stop doing that, but within a few days, she started doing it again. She was a very bright girl, so I was a little concerned about this, especially since her own dad was white and was possibly the nicest man in the world. Not to mention, this made her and her siblings half-white too. Did that mean they were all half-racist?

I stuck by her for a while, but when she started saying things about what she wanted to do to racist people (once again using the word 'white' instead of 'racist'), I realized I couldn't be around her anymore. She couldn't talk about anything else after a while, and every time she spoke, I wanted to say, 'WTF is wrong with you?'

We did not room together the next year.

Redditors have stories similar to mine (and some even crazier), and they are eager to share.

It all started when a Redditorasked:

"What did the person do/say that made you go "what the f**k is wrong with you?"

How To End A Friendship

"In college I used to kill time between classes hanging out with a guy who was from the same redneck county as myself. We didn’t really have much else in common, but he was nice enough and seemed eager to socialize so I figured why not. I wasn’t overly social myself and didn’t know a whole lot of people."

"One day we decided to go somewhere off-campus, and he drove us. While driving, on an interstate mind you, he proceeds to show me his handgun that he kept in his truck - not in a menacing way, but in a “Ain’t that cool?” way."

"I was not immediately frightened, but I respect firearms enough to recognize we are going like 60-70mph on an interstate in daylight, and nothing good can happen in this scenario. I calmly asked him to put it away because I was not comfortable in this situation at all. He then tells me “Oh it’s not loaded” and presses the gun to his head before pulling the trigger."

"Thank f**k he was right, but still it was a wild and frightening display of reckless disregard for his own life and mine for that matter in the event that he’d accidentally killed himself while driving us. I didn’t hang out with him much after that, certainly didn’t get in a car with him."

– omjf23

"“It’s not loaded” famous last words of many an idiot."

– GloInTheDarkUnicorn

The Worst Kind Of People

"When my dad was in the nursing home, they weren't running certain expenses, like ambulance rides, through his insurance. When I took over his financials, he was tens of thousands in medical debt that shouldn't have ever been charged to him in the first place. He was in numerous collections, and his credit score was tanked."

"When I complained to the nursing home director, he said, "Well, it's not like he's going to be buying a house or a car!" Then he laughed."

"My dad was paralyzed from the waist down and needed lifelong care, so he was never going to leave the nursing home. Even though he was technically correct, I gave him the "WTF is wrong with you look." Then I complained to HIS boss and he got canned a couple a weeks later. My dad's insurance was fixed pretty quick, too."

– MNWNM

"“Sorry, what was funny about that? Could you please explain.”"

– v3n0mat3

...Seriously?

"MIL told my wife she should divorce me bc I googled whether a lasagna should be covered with foil while cooking."

– Struggle-Silent

"This is my first laugh of the thread lmao wtf."

– koreantrvp

"It actually ruined this entire trip. It was at my BIL’s wedding, which was only close family (siblings + parents) and they had the caterer make a lasagna for an evening dinner."

"Father of the bride was gonna pop it in the oven and asked if it should be covered. I googled lasagna cooking instructions and said yes it should be covered and cooked at this temp. MIL said absolutely not!"

"Me and the father of the bride kinda gave each other a look and he covered it. MIL was furious and texted my wife that I was an a hole and she should divorce me before we had kids."

– Struggle-Silent

Hostile Work Environment

"Boss at old job told the team we needed to ‘get used to a healthy level of conflict, fear and anxiety in the workplace.’ I dipped so fast after that."

– Prestigious-Energy69

"Similarly, a boss told me that I owed him my loyalty because he was paying me."

– Kylearean

How To End A Relationship

"A girl I was with while we were still together just looked at me while I was driving to her house and said.” You know I would get over you faster than you’d get over me” I was like …… Tf did you just say?"

– omega91301

"Huh. And just like that I'm over you."

– Pineapple_Spenstar

"Honestly, that would absolutely do it for me. When I was younger, I would be stupid and hurt and argue. I'm past 50 and I got no time for that nonsense."

– Terpsichorean_Wombat

There Are Other Ways To Stave Off Boredom

"I was DD for some buddies who wanted to go to a particular dance club in Baltimore. They're all hammered, it's too loud and we've been there for several hours. Casually an older woman next to me chats me up and notices my eyes are nearly crossing from boredom. I explained what I was doing there and casually (stupidly) mentioned I'm a bit bored. This psycho BITES ME on the chest! Afterward says "Well ya ain't bored now, are ya??""

– Mike7676

"Well, were you bored after that?"

– DontWannaSayMyName

"I must say, I was not!"

– Mike7676

That Goes Both Ways!

"I'm a man who works with kids, and when I started this job, I was talking to one of my old coworkers about how every once in a while I'll get weird looks for being a man working with kids and my coworker said I deserved it because some men can't be trusted with kids. I was shocked and she went on to say that I did it to myself and deserve to be questioned about it. I immediately stopped talking to her."

– Dolhedew

"What? What in the actual f**k? Doesn’t she know there are women who can’t be trusted with kids?"

– Anonymoosehead123

That Escalated Quickly

"The lady that accused my kids of cutting the line. (They hadn't, I was watching). When I went to ask her what was wrong, she told me to go back to my own country with that sh*t. (I was born in Massachusetts.)"

"The line was to pet dogs at a Renaissance Fair."

– pasafa

Everything All At Once

"While alone with a coworker, he told me that "women in the work place will lead to the decay of the fabric of society" to me. A woman. He also asked me out, got an attitude when I didn't say yes and continues to walk around with huge incel energy. He always complains that he has no one to go home to yet refuses to look at himself as a possible reason."

– Nopeferatu31

"Sounds like they should learn something from the phrase, "if you meet one a**hole, they're the a**hole. If everyone you meet is an a**hole, you're the a**hole.""

– tmpope123

Ouch!

"I told a coworker my wife had died."

"Her response: "You're one of those bald middle aged guys with a dead wife.""

"Me: "Yeah.""

– WalrusCello

"I want to think this was a wholesome thought that came out wrong. An awkward attempt at dark humor."

– ThisUsernameIsTook

*Cringing*

"Had an otherwise normal co-worker who was completely convinced windmills will cause the earth to stop spinning."

– Shadowmant

"WINDMILLS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY! GOOD NIGHT!"

– Torvaun

These are all crazy 'WTF is wrong with you' stories, but that last one blew my mind in 'how is it possible people think that could be true' sort of way!

black and red tool box

Tekton on Unsplash

One of the possible wonders of adulthood is home ownership. But homes come with so many things that can break.

And the last thing you want is a nonfunctioning furnace when temperatures dip below zero or no water when you're covered in dirt and grime.

That's what routine maintenance is for—to make sure things work when you need them.

Keep reading...Show less