The heart is an untamable organ; and as much as we'd like to believe we can control it, it always ends up controlling us. For people who make intimacy a career, they too can fall into traps of the amour. Once you're looking into another person's eyes and a spark ignites, all bets are off. People seem to ignore the facet that sex workers are people too and the career field they're in is actually honest work for many. They end up with love stories surrounding their clients just like a banker or a bartender.
Redditor u/m033118b wanted to hear about the wantings of the heart, no matter what the profession, by asking.... Sex workers of reddit, have you ever fallen in love with a John? What happened afterwards?Found Her
richard gere gotta love this film GIFGiphyWhen I was in Amsterdam I did a red light tour, and the tour guide told us how when he was young and inexperienced he 'shopped around' the windows for a while, found the beautiful woman he'd ever seen, and kept coming back until he worked up his nerve.
Eventually he went in, stayed in there talking to her until about 4 in the morning, then she took him back to her place, that was nine years before he told us the story and they'd been together since then. She still worked as a sex worker and he was so open about everything, it was really interesting to get such an outlook from a tour guide.
Happily Ever....
Not the SW, but the partner of one.
I was going through a stressful time in my life and things weren't working out the way I had hoped. I was single and was always making time for other people and never felt like I was getting what I wanted in life. I knew nothing about sex workers at the time, and had never seen one before. I did some research for about a month or so and came across this girl's ad. She seemed legit and from what I could see in her pictures, attractive.
I booked her and was beyond nervous-scared leading up to the appointment. When the day came I went over and the cutest girl ever opened the door and welcomed me in. We talked about ourselves pretty much the entire night. I had only intended for this to be a one-time deal since it's so expensive! But, I decided to see her a few more times. I noticed she started letting me overstay my appointment time more each visit and I started getting suspicious. I didn't know if this was normal, or if she was into me.
I liked her a lot, but I figured this was her job and she probably just wanted to keep me, a steady income, around. She started doing other favors like making me dinner and my mind started going crazy and had to know what was going on. So I confessed that I liked her and hoped that was okay, and asked her to clarify what she had been doing, and what it meant.
Turns out she totally had feelings for me! We decided to date and now we're getting married!
Trapped
Really happy for the fairy tales people are telling here, but these stories don't end well often.
I had a second degree cousin who was a sex worker in Brazil. Started doing it since her father left her sick mother without a penny and she was a very beautiful girl. Worked as a sex worker for a few years and ended up meeting a Spanish tourist when she was 22 or 21. The guy was prince charming himself. Came back to Brazil a few months after meeting her to marry her and take her to Spain. Was really kind with the entire family, flooded everyone with gifts and sounded like a genuine nice guy.
A few months passed after their marriage and things seem fine, she gets to visit the family, sends updates constantly. Out of nowhere, silence. She completely disappears for years. It was the 90s, before cellphones or social networks. Her mother tried to reach the police, but it was useless. After around 8 or 9 years of silence, she calls back.
According to her, the guy was extremely jealous and abusive. The first signs were weird, but nothing terrifying, in her opinion. But things got worse, with physical and psychological violence, forbidding her of leaving the house until it turned into a situation where she was completely locked off the external world.
She ended up running away from home after many tries and took refugee on a church. While living at that church, she remembered one of her cousin's phone number - one of the few she memorized - and managed to call the family back. Most of us thought she was dead by then. That was in 2004, she had been missing since 95~96.
Now she is married and living in Spain with a regular man she met at the church.
4 Years In
Climb In Constance Wu GIF by HustlersGiphyMy fiancée is a stripper at a bikini bar. I used to frequent her club because my friend's sister was a bartender there and would hook me up on my bar tab. I met my fiancée and got to know her pretty well over the next 2 and a half years, then one night we were both there for my friend's (the bartender) birthday and got pretty drunk. She told me she had a crush on me and then later said she wanted to go home with me, which she did.
A year to the day after that I asked her to marry me, and I've been in the best relationship of my life for almost 4 years.
Caretaker
God, this was years ago when I was 21 but it brings back a lot of emotions even now. One of my regulars was a disabled gentleman in his 50s. He had broken his spine in an industrial accident and was paralyzed from the chest down. He'd gotten a large settlement and invested in property including his beautiful accessible cabin on the lake. He'd pay for me to spend weekends with him there as well as trips to the coast and the casino where he would give me money to play slots or see a show while he played cards.
He was kind and funny and had a comforting nature. I had bad experiences with men, but his disability made him vulnerable and open in a way that moved me and put me at ease. I even learned some of his care routines so I could be with him for longer periods.
He died when he developed a clot in his leg that broke free and got into his lungs. I didn't find out until 2 weeks afterward. His passing really shook me. I thought I had distance. I didn't realize how much I cared for him until he was gone.
Dawn
Related only, but one of my friends with unlimited business expenses was hosting in NYC clients from London. That night ended up at a strip club across the street from my home, and $1000 dollars in lap dance tickets ($20 each) in the middle of the table.
I tried one, not my thing, so I pocketed 3 of the tickets as souvenirs.
A year later, my nephew was visiting me as he turned 21, so I gave him the 3 tickets and sent him to the strip club. He did not return, but called at 8AM. "I'm making breakfast over at Dawn's place"
They went out for a few months.
The Bikie
A friend's sister and her friend were/are sex workers. They both fell in love with the same customer. The bloke was a biker and I'm pretty sure they loved the free drugs he gave them, not him. They had a huge blow out over this guy and basically didn't take long before they stopped communicating.
They both confessed their love for him and he cut ties with both because he wanted to spend more time with his wife.
Edit for non-Aussie's: Outlaws in Australia once upon a time rode on motorcycles and were/are heavily involved in crime syndicates. We call them bikies (buy-keys) (Australian accent) or singular (buy-key) (Australian accent).
ryan gosling friend GIFI saw girls always fawning over him- leaving some tips on stage so he would bring them back to the dressing room and they could flirt with him. I assumed it was a phase and tried to ignore my feelings. At the time I was suffering from chronic pain and an eating disorder. He just cared so much and went out of his way to help. We've now been married for 15 years and have three children.
"Lonny"
Using my throwaway. I was a sugar baby the moment I turned 18. Started having sex with a 60 year old doctor. I was poor so the constant showering of gifts, money, dinners, vacations, and clothes, I guess made me fall in love with him. All I would think about was "Lonny" (fake name) and what amazing thing Lonny had planned for us that day.
One day I get a call from Lonny and he tells me, we can't see each other anymore because he had caught feelings for me. I took this as my opportunity to tell him how I felt and I really thought we would get married. He then told me, "I can't be in love with a girl like you, so I have to let you go and move on to another girl I don't have feelings for." I was broken and depressed for a long time. I ended up using some of the money he gave me for therapy and eventually I got over it.
I Was Wrong
Julia Roberts Shopping GIF by SundanceTVGiphyI'll start with my story to get the ball rolling. Former sex worker.
When I was 18 I began seeing a married man in his early 40s who treated me with respect, genuinely listened and helped me with my school, and we hung out a lot too without having sex. After about 3 months of seeing him almost everyday I started to become attached. Then one day I told him that I thought I was in love with him and he told me, "I still love my wife. I only keep you around for...." I was DEVASTATED and never saw him again.
John
I've never used the term john, just client. While I haven't fallen head over heels for a client, I definitely have a few clients that I love. It might weird them out so I wouldn't tell them, but it's the truth. You meet some very interesting, caring people in my line of work.
I Miss Him
Cats Chibi GIFGiphyNever fallen in love with a client, but I do love some of them. My first ever in person client, and favorite regular is an absolute sweetheart and has a lot of the same kinks as I do, seeing him has the same excitement to it as hooking up with a hot friend. We had to cancel our last session because of lockdown and I miss him a lot.
Getting to know you.....
I worked as a dancer in LA and I met my husband at the club I worked at. We got married last year and have a 2 year old :) We are madly in love and no one knows how we actually met haha. Our life is beautiful together :)
Most people don't realize most of sex work is actually just getting to know someone very intimately. Lots of clients just want to talk, to have a bond, to forget something. Sometimes that bond is simply business but its no surprise that people do fall in love 💓.
Friendship
I was a regular customer of a camgirl back some time ago. After few stints I gradually started telling her not to take off her clothes and just talk to me, I loved her personality. She gave me her skype, and I thought, ok, and after one or two skype meetings I asked her for her paypal to transfer the money. She was pretty angry because she thought this was a friendship or a dating call and she said she liked my weirdness and general demeanor. We continued skyping for some 2 months more, and now we are actually friends!
Obsession
Married the guy that was obsessed with me, came to the strip club I worked at every shift I worked for like 8 months until I finally went out with him. Married 15 years, now getting divorced.
Dance of the Lap
Yes but I never really considered him a "John" He was a "regular" but he would just come in the club and we would have great conversations and would pay for a dance just to be polite since I was working but really didn't even want a lap dance. He isn't a lap dance guy, just has grown up with art scene people so enjoyed certain types of strippers and found them interesting, and a great way to take a break from his now corporate life. We quickly became more friends outside of work and if he came in while I was working it would be expected he pay me for my time but he had the money to spend so he didn't care.
Then eventually we started going on dates and we became official and he would just drop me off at the club on the way to work and pick me up after. A year later we moved across the country together and we're coming up on 2 yrs. we haven't fought once and very happy.
The Client
As someone that dated a sex worker, I just want to let any clients and potential clients know: sure. This happens. But it is very very rare, and if you are ever starting to get the feeling that she is into you, there is about a one in ten million chance that she actually is. It just means that she's doing her job well, and that you as a client are not. It's their job to make it feel real. It's your job to remember it isn't.
Benefits
Jimmy Fallon Hay GIFGiphyOne of my closest friends started out buying content and Skype shows. We now talk on a daily basis and have visited each other several times. As a matter of fact he'll be coming to see me in a couple weeks! We have sex and say we love each other and ultimately we are kinky pals. I would call it a casual long distance relationship as we are not pursuing anything different but are appreciative of our place in each other's lives. We say we are bffs with benefits. 😌
Like the Movies
I had to travel out of the country to attend my sister's wedding. The best man was my ex-fiancé (he dumped me) so I couldn't stand the thought of going alone. So I hired an escort to go with me and pretend to be my boyfriend. But he ended up being the most wonderful man and we fell in love. Worth every penny.
Happily Ever
Love Story Wedding GIF by angiecandellGiphyI'll keep it short and sweet.
I was at work when we met. I quit working and found another job shortly after. We've been together ever since. He turned out to be the love of my life.
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- People Confess How They Actually Found The Love Of Their Life - George Takei ›
- Men Divulge Why They Would Or Wouldn't Date A Sex Worker - George Takei ›
- People Break Down The Difference Between Having Sex And Making Love - George Takei ›
- People Confess How They Actually Found The Love Of Their Life - George Takei ›
- Tour Guides Break Down The Worst Thing A Tourist Has Done On Their Watch - George Takei ›
- People Describe The Worst Thing They've Ever Seen At A Strip Club - George Takei ›
Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.