Gynecologists And Urologists Explain How Their Sex Lives Have Been Impacted By Their Profession
When you're face-to-face with people's genitals all day long at work, the last thing you want to deal with when you get home is another crotch, amirite?
Honestly, I have no idea. I don't work with the junk in people's respective trunks in a professional capacity. I hang out online and talk about people being snarky.
For me, no, I'm not tired of it when I get home at night; but dealing in snarkitude isn't so much a job as it is my life's calling, sooo...
We don't know if that's the case with people who deal with a person's more intimate areas professionally. Does work come home with them? Are their sex lives changed?
Reddit user ObviouslyYTA asked:
There isn't anything overly graphic here, but it's definitely a "for mature audiences" kind of deal.
A Look Ahead
GiphyI work with the elderly and I weirdly get this question a lot from friends. They want to know about giving showers etc. What I can tell you is that it's a job, you are being a professional and looking at the task at hand objectively.
Seeing someone naked in a professional setting is just completely different than being intimate with a partner. The only thing I guess is seeing an old woman's vagina and thinking dammit that is what mine will look like one day.
Some Personal Limits
Aside from seeing genitalia and doing urogenital examinations, there is also the aspect of prevention, diagnosis and treatment of STI's. The latter can certainly set some personal limits on your own sexual practices.
Flashbacks
So most of these are saying no but I'm saying yes.
I'm currently working in gynecology. I have never seen any genitals or body part during work and thought of them in a sexual manner, however there are times when I am getting jiggy (to use the Latin) with my girlfriend in which I might have flashbacks to something earlier that day which is suddenly a turn off for me.
It's often when I have to do something non routine. For example during an operation the usual instrument used to move the uterus around (via the vagina) during key hole surgery wasn't working, so I had to basically stick my fingers in as far as they would go and move the uterus around with my hand, all the while it's got blood and discharge all around it and down my arm. To then go home 4 hours later and be face to face with my girlfriend's vagina you have to push certain things out your mind.
I'm sure after a while you get used to it but right now as I'm choosing specialties this is a factor for me.
Potential Significant Others
As other people have said, it never had an impact on my attraction/relationship with my SO because it's a totally different context.
I will say, though, that I scared away potential significant others because they were super not into the idea that I had to be in close contact/had seen a lot of male genitalia in a clinical setting. Which is weird to me, but whatever. And none of my male friends ever wanted to hear about my day at work haha.
Ego Check
I'm a 27 year-old male medical student and weeks from graduating. I've not had nearly the experience as doctors. During my gynecology rotation I saw many surgeries involving the vagina.
One thing that was eye opening was how wide a vagina can be opened to access the uterus. It made me realize no matter how big a man thinks his dick is. It ain't nothing compared to what a vagina can handle. So ego check out there for all guys.
With that being said; overall it hasn't affected my sex life at all. If you're in the field of medicine you're typically desensitized from things and don't really care much of the gross things with you.
- stephenw78
People Who Work In Remote Places Share Creepiest Things They've Witnessed | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
ALL About Context
Urologist here. We do indeed compartmentalize. It's all about context. I see penises all day every day, but if I'm in the gym and I see a guy walk out of the shower with his member hanging out, I will still cringe and look away quickly. It's weird.
Regarding sex life, my job has had no impact at all. I was with my wife when I decided to go into this field. She's proud of me. If I was in the dating game and a girl asked me what kind of a doctor I was? I'd probably just say "I'm a kidney surgeon" or something generic like that. People don't go into urology to pick up chicks.
Wax
GiphyI used to body wax in Miami and I have seen more private parts than most people ever have in their lifetime! At first it was a little strange but it's amazing how desensitized you become.
I never thought I would be so nonchalant about telling people to take their clothes off and gett all up close and personal with their most intimate parts, but it made me realize there's really not much to fuss about... we are all human and while some of us are different it's really all mostly the same.
It didn't affect my sex life negatively but it did make me raise a few eyebrows from time to time. It certainly affected my views on sex and sexuality in general. Some people have amazing bodies that you'd never guess looked so good because they are modest dressers, other people who you think are quite attractive can sometimes have dirty habits. There were a few girls who had their waxes paid for bu sugar daddies which was interesting.
It really made me appreciate the amount of effort people go through to look and feel good. Some girls were so hairy and I know the waxing had to be incredibly painful. I had pregnant and breastfeeding moms sit through bikini waxes no problem. I waxed a few buttholes for gay dudes and an 80-year-old woman's nipples. EDIT: I forgot the guy whose back was so hairy it bled. Although most of our guests were women there were a handheld of men who go all out too which I have a lot of respect for!
There were gross times too... massive ingrowns, discharge, weird smells. People sometimes were a little too open about their sex lives. Thankfully no one was creepy with me.
I guess it made me appreciate my own body more. I'm not at all self conscious anymore about it, before I used to be a little shy and wonder if it was "normal" like a lot of girls. Also it confirmed for me that my sex life is pretty normal too. It was really empowering to see so many people of different shapes and sizes looking and feeling their best, that confidence was definitely something that would rub off on me and I'd take home to the bedroom.
Unassisted
As a urology nurse, I've had to get up close and personal with otherwise healthy men my own age. Yes, some of them have been attractive. It usually results in a blush on my part, a half-erection on their part, and then I never ever think about them again until a Reddit post sparks my memory. It's all professional and it stays in the professional part of my brain.
The only time my job crosses over into the bedroom is when I'm feeling silly and I try to find my boyfriends vas deferens. Then I scare him by talking about how a vasectomy is performed and whether or not I think I could successfully do one unassisted.
- TaylorKenji
Scarring The Patient
As a main part off my job I put in catheters. It does not affect my own sexual life all all. But I think that some situations may have scarred a few patients despite my best efforts.
One story that stands or is from my newbie days. One patient, 25ish male needed a cath asap. I'm a kinda ok looking woman approx his age and that can bring some awkwardness for these patients. But I'm the one available, so no other choice. When you cath a male you have to give a numbing agent to minimize pain, this us in a gel you squirt in to the penis using a syringe with a nozzle. Then you have to firmly hold the gel in for 5-10 minutes.
So everything goes alright until we are, well... waiting. I hold the gel in and as usual pull a blanket over so he can feel mode covered. That's when he gets a woody. Poor guy is beet red, almost crying and starting out the window. Ten minutes is a looooong time in that situation, you can't just ignore it. And the gel is slippery even when using dressings to hold the penis. So I'm struggling to keep the grip, he is in pain from filled bladder and totally embarrassed. I try to use the normal line: "It happens all the time, don't worry" My hand slipped slightly and he is...twitching. He goes all "oh no no no" and well, gel and other stuff is trying to eject. That moment his girlfriend comes in because none bothered to stop her and I guess you don't knock when worried. So yeah, guy just had a orgasm, girlfriend comes in and I'm losing it. Trying not to laugh at the absurdity I just politely tell her that he is ok and that I need to finish the procedure, she can see him in a bit. Luckily he felt numb (hopefully all the way to the soul) even though the gel came out, so I just wiped him off and gave a bit more gel, got the cath in as quickly as I could, acting like it's normal business for me and get out of there.
I now tell this story to all males I'm gonna do a catch on, it really helps them but I feel sorry for the poor guy.
He did send flowers to the ward for his excellent care so maybe I just gave him a good memory, like to think so anyways.
- Gikkwife
Variety
After seeing over 100 vaginas as a medical student in my Ob/Gyn rotation, I've learned a lot! The biggest thing was how variable women's anatomy can be!
I know people's anatomy varies person by person, but I was not expecting the range of differences. For example, some vaginas are much deeper than others and difficult to find the cervix when performing a speculum exam for a pap smear. Others are very shallow.
Another aspect is the clitoris. I never had a precise idea where it was since I had never really spent a lot of time examining women's anatomy in a precise way like I did in medical school. They vary in size quite a bit among women. One of my patient's actually used to be a body builder and admittedly used steroids in her past and her clitoris was huge (medically termed clitoromegaly). I can also now find it pretty quickly whenever I'm with a romantic partner since pelvic exams give you a pretty good sense of the anatomy.
Above all, I'm very thankful to all of the patients who were nice enough to let a male medical student examine them in order to learn more about women's health.
People Break Down The Absolute Worst Parts About Having A Child
While starting a family and having children is a goal that many people have, some do not realize that it's not easy, fun, and loving one-hundred percent of the time. Rather, it's expensive, exhausting, and hard, though it might be worth it in the end.
With this in mind, people shared what they felt were the hardest hurdles of their parenting.
Redditor ApprehensiveShock655 asked:
"What's the worst part of having a child?"
Fear of Not Doing Enough
"The constant anxiety that you’re doing enough to shape them to make good choices, a good life, be a good person and for them to have the life they deserve."
- nakedreturnsthe1st
Like the Energizer Bunny
"It's incessant. It never stops. You never get a day off."
"Going from having two days per week to relax and do whatever to literally never having a moment free from responsibility."
- mrbuh
No Break In Sight
"I’ve always wanted kids and still do, but this is the only thing that has come close to giving me pause."
"Both my siblings have young kids and I cannot get over how CONSTANT it is."
"From the second the kids wake up to when they finally shut their eyes, it’s non-stop. Then they get maybe an hour or two to themselves, which is mostly spent tidying up, etc., before the nighttime stuff starts with the baby crying, the toddler coming into bed, nightmares, etc."
"It requires years of not getting a full night's rest. You can never just go out whenever you want. No sleeping in, even on weekends because someone has to be up with them at 6 AM."
"Raising human children is an insane task."
- GirlisNo1
Mom's Body After Baby and Dad Bods
"The weight gain is the worst! During the pregnancy, I gained 35 pounds. My belly has stretch marks. My boobs are all saggy."
"And it’s not even fair because my wife only gained like 15."
- Wise-Reaction-7526
The Meal Planning
"Coming up with three meals to eat per day EVERY DAY stresses me out so bad."
"This sounds like such a small thing, but it really wears on you over time. You can’t just make something for yourself or something you and your spouse feel like eating: You have to constantly be thinking about if the kid is hungry and what they might be willing to eat."
- Ravenclaw79
Keeping Them Safe
"When people ask me this I say, 'do you know those video games where you have to escort a character to a destination without them being attacked?' That's parenting. Those missions are a pain in the a**."
- Infiniski_Gaming
Seriously, Keep Them Safe
"Having to deal with their total lack of self-preservation. They are creative and come up with all kinds of ways to try and kill themselves. Keeping ahead of the game is exhausting."
- Quizzical_Chimp
Constant Contact
"They’re just always there. On you, behind you, in front of you, just a little speed bump impeding every task."
- Tangboy500000
Letting Them Live Their Life Their Way
"Having a kid is like having a little piece of your heart running around in the world. When they're sick or get disappointed or just feel sad, it's worse than having it happen to you."
"Yet at the same time, you need to let your kids work through those things to learn to handle them. If you give into the worry and try to shield them from everything, you risk creating harmful co-dependence."
"So it's a constant struggle. But worth it!"
- um_chili
What Is "Sleep" Again?
"I'm only nine years in, but so far, it's been the sleep deprivation. Hands down."
- tessiegamgee
And What Are These "Sick Days" You Speak Of?
"Having to take care of a sick child when you are also sick. For me that has been the most challenging part so far."
- MrsLouisaMercury
Another Full-Time Job
"It's like taking a second job that lasts 18+ years with a 24/7 schedule with no holidays or sick days."
"…And no second paycheck. It's actually like YOU are paying your second salary instead of getting one."
- mouse_rat
Personal Freedom
"The loss of freedom. I can't just... go somewhere. Even with older kids, there's so much planning and thinking and getting ready."
"I miss being able to just decide to go somewhere, and go there."
- poetris
The Time Flies
"The best advice I got was from an ancient hospital security guard in an elevator. 'The days are long, the years are short, cherish them while you can.'"
- WayOfTheHouseHusband
So Unexpected
"The phrase I hate is, 'You don't know it, but one day you pick your kid up for the last time.'"
- 3_pac
There are all kinds of troubles that come from being a parent, many of which people don't necessarily think about until they already have a baby in the house.
But reassuringly, many people in the subReddit pointed out that no matter how hard some of these hurdles are to get over, it's still worth it in the end, and it goes by far too fast.
Married People Explain How They Tactfully Initiate Sex With Their Partner
Positive emotions are high among people in the blossoming phase of relationships.
Everything seems more romanticized for people in love due to the amorous joy in their hearts–which also influences their desire to frequently get it on under the sheets–or any other daring location in the heat of the moment.
But for those who've declared "'til death do us part," devoted couples may find that they are not always on the same wavelength sexually compared to when they first met.
Curious to hear how people keep their passion alive, Redditor Rude_Phone6841 asked:
"Married people, how do you initiate sex with your partner?"
When verbally articulating isn't enough...
Let The Book Dictate When
"There is a book called 'How to Subtly Tell Your Partner You Want More Sex.' If you sleep on the right side of the bed, you can casually open it up and your spouse will see the giant printed title on the front. Sometimes, I’ll just get the book out and leave it on his side of the bed. Once he was messing with me and acting like he was oblivious to my not-so-subtle hints, so I threw the book at him. The book is effective and hilarious."
"ETA: Sadly, we haven’t found the book since we moved. Fortunately, we’ve started communicating with our words instead. Words are just as effective."
– Flaky_Finding_3902
Save The Date
"I send her an outlook calendar event and if she accepts, IT'S ON."
– Dawn_Piano
The Signal
"You know when I’m down to my socks it’s time for business."
– SEA___BEAR
These couples find that verbal cues are best.
Now's The Time
"Honestly when we have the time one of us usually bluntly says 'let's go have sex right f'king now before we can't' and we go do it. Lol"
– brie1305
Option A Or B
"I have a 2 month old and a 2 year old. Some of the best sex we had was because I said 'after 2 year old goes down and if 2month decides to sleep do you want to meet in the basement' well she decided to sleep and damn that was good."
– Ahkmedjubar
End Of Day Reward
"We just ask each other tbh. We’ll bring it up earlier in the day so we build up the anticipation with each other throughout the day, flirt with each other, gas each other up. All that. Then when it’s finally time at the end of the day, we usually fall asleep cause we’re so tired."
"But the cycle continues the next day!"
– supermariobruhh
People continued offering their wisdom.
Afternoon Hanky Panky
"The trick is to initiate sex during the day. We are both too tired at the end. Plus hanging out all day after is somehow more rewarding."
"Same goes for dates. Have sex at the beginning the date, then go enjoy your time together without any pressure."
– drneeley
Kids In The Equation
"This literally happened today with my wife and me. We have two toddlers so we’re extra exhausted. Earlier today we had the sexy initiation of 'hey, we both showered today, want to have sex after the babies are asleep?' 'Sure.'"
"Then when the kids were asleep, and my wife and I were getting settled into bed, she asked if I still wanted to. I said if she wants to I’m down, but I’m pretty tired and would be fine without it. She said she was also tired and could do without it. So we kissed each other good night and she went to sleep. I’m just winding down on Reddit for a few minutes before I also fall asleep."
"I know this is boring. I didn’t write this to tell an exciting story. Just to share what married life is like for me and probably the large majority of married couples, especially parents of young kids."
– MolotovCollective
Shadow Puppet Technique
"Use my phones torch to shine a shadow of my member up against the bedroom wall."
"Kinda like a bat signal of sorts."
– SchoonerOclock
Mood Lighting
"Turn off the lights and switch on the red lamp beside the bed."
– SuvenPan
Reliable Visual
"Walk by him while taking my top off. He follows me wherever I go and it's been 30 years and counting."
– LisaBooHigh
Every couple is different, and usually establishing a strong communication bond makes everything else in the relationship–including sexy time–falls in line effortlessly.
I knew a couple who made a game out of foreplay and agreed that whoever got home first from getting off work at the same time got to choose the sexual position that night.
They may no longer be together, but I remember them recalling how that technique was fun for them at the beginning stage and it took the pressure off of establishing when they were going to have sex.
Don't take get too anxious about it. It's just sex, and it's fun.
There are a number of things people partake in spite of the known possible ramifications they have on their health and safety.
Up to and including smoking, bungee-jumping, recreational drug use, or simply bike riding without a helmet.
Indeed, even though they know that doing any or all of these things could possibly lead to their death, they do it anyway.
Sadly, even though many people go out of their way to avoid doing these things for that very reason, that still doesn't mean they keep themselves completely out of danger.
Sadly, there are a surprisingly large number of things that lead to an even more surprising number of deaths each year.
Frighteningly, these are things that the majority of the world's population does on an almost daily basis.
"What causes death more than people realize?"
When In Doubt, Call Your Doctor!
"Untreated infections."
"Your body will become septic, in which it essentially kills itself trying to kill off whatever infection one has."- cacarrizales
"Infections that are left untreated."- raptor-99
Tread Carefully. Seriously.
"Tripping."
"On average around 17k people a year in the US die from injuries incurred after tripping and falling."- EdithWhartonsFarts
When In Doubt, Don't Drive.
"Driving while sleepy."- latchkey_adult
The Handrail Is There For A Reason.
"Stairs."
"20 million severe injuries each year and at least 200,000 death from consequences of the fall."
"Both my grandparents died because of a fall."- OnTheGoodSideofLife
They Happen To The Best Of Us
"Fall accidents."
"Especially among the elderly, a fall can create a cascade of events that results in death, even if it seems minor at first."-AdmiralBofa
Never Rush Chewing
"Mozzarella sticks."
"Statistically the most choked on food."- SpecSanders
Never Skip A Check-Up
"High Blood Pressure."
"It sneaks up on you and you don't know about it or don't care but it's the underlying cause of so many deaths."- Fear51
Never Underestimate The Importance Of Self Care
"Stress."
"Your body can only handle so much of it and it’s labeled the 'silent killer' for that reason."
"With your high blood pressure and the 5 hours of sleep a night because of the stress, It will creep up on you sooner than you think."- DroppedDonut
Don't Forget To Floss!
"Untreated dental problems."
"A cavity left untreated can lead to heart attacks and strokes."- Lastalmark
Flu Season
"Influenza."
"Just regular old flu."
"Many people ignore it thinking it'll go away on its own."
"Globally the number per year is usually between 300k and 500k."
"In the US it can be anywhere from 12k to 50k per year."- PhreedomPhighter
Don't Feel Ashamed If You Need A Break
"Shoveling snow."
"I have two family friends pass from heart attacks associated to shoveling the snow."- JD054
There Are People Who Will Help You
"Alcoholism causing liver failure and it's on the rise in the USA."- Interesting_Drop8236
"Peruse your County ME’s records."
"The amount of people who die from alcohol is astounding."- hockenduke
Sometimes, It's Just Best To Mind Your Own Business
"Street fights."
"You watch some Hollywood blockbusters and some MMA fights and you think you can do it too."
"I've seen stories of a guy minding his own business and gets rocked on the side of his head. It disconnected his spine and he was dead before he hit the ground."
"There was another story maybe a year ago of a scuffle where a guy was stabbed in the neck and bled out to the point of being unable to stand within 10 seconds."
"Stop f*cking around, it's not worth your life."- Choiceofart
We never know when our number is up or how we'll end our days.
However, with a little bit of care and good judgment, we can at least likely avoid falling victim to all of the above.
When Americans visit a foreign country, they tend to notice immediate cultural differences from the minute they step off the plane.
Unique bathroom designs, how you might have to be more specific when ordering coffee in Australia, how many businesses in Spain tend to shut down for a few hours to take a siesta.
Needless to say, this goes both ways, as when people from all over the world visit the United States, they tend to be surprised and amazed by a number of things.
Ranging from the amusing, such as portion sizes and ineffective tea brewing (at least for the Brits) to the truly baffling (HEALTHCARE).
"Non-American people, what’s a thing that you don’t understand about America?"
You Mean, People DON'T File Their Own Taxes Elsewhere?!?!
"Does every worker have to file their own taxes or am I just confused?"- ThePencil67
"Why they make you calculate your own taxes, if they know what you owe."- redder2023
Flagrant Commercialism...
"So, why do you buy politicians' merchandise? "
"Shirts, caps, banners, stickers, etc."
"They're public servants, not rockstars."
"Also, usually the more boring they are, the better."- akashyy
Conor Mckenna Influencer GIF by FoilArmsandHogGiphyWork/Life Balance
"Scottish person here but the work/always available for work culture."
"Minimal vacation time, minimal maternity/paternity leave and the fact you can pretty much just be let go."
"It makes me sad to think about it!"
"But I do love that you guys cram so much into your time off - you guys love a road trip!"- Frosty_Dragonfly_682
Definitely Something To Consider...
"What is up with Homeowner Associations?"
"Why would you pay to let a nosy neighbor dictate what you can and can not do on your own property?"
"I understand living in an apartment block and paying maintenance fees etc, but in a suburban home?"- Skoodledoo
There Are Some Good Observations
"The amount of National Parks!"
"My dream came true in 2017 to make an RV trip southwest off USA."
"Yosemite blew my mind away."- Independent-Ad9787
national parks GIF by Visit The USAGiphyHAHAHA
"How you can say the word 'mirror' without the use of any vowels."
"Mrrrrrr."- Otto1968
I Ordered A Small!
"Why everything is just SO damn supersized."
"My first time in America I went to get ice coffee from Dunkin Donuts, I ordered a large and my friend is like, 'are you sure you want large'?"
"Yeah no biggie, in the UK a large is not overwhelming I feel so I was expecting the same kinda thing."
"Oh my god it was like a god damn bucket of coffee."
"I think maybe a small would have been equivalent to a UK large, lesson swiftly learnt."
Some People Are Lucky To Just Have One Roommate...
"How you have to share a room with some complete rando when you go to college."- ChoppingOnionsForYou
Roommates Move In GIF by James Madison UniversityGiphySome People Just Can't Stop Talking
"The culture of just talking to people, strangers you don't know and just up and start a conversation with them or join a conversation."
"I'm British, and we go through great lengths to not talk to people, let alone open up and pour our hearts out to a random person."- MrGlayden
In Other Words: Severs Deserve to Be Paid More!
"The tipping culture is so foreign to me, I would be so scared to make a mistake or not tipping enough if I ever go to America because it's not something which is common here in Denmark."- Cupsuu
The Commercials, Maybe?
"I’m American but I’ve worked with a lot of people who aren’t."
"The one thing they always wonder is why Americans are so obsessed with the NFL."
"They think it’s a boring sport."
"They explained 'you wait for 30 seconds, they hike the ball, you get about 5-10 seconds of action, then you wait another 30 seconds, another 5-10 seconds of action, then commercial break'."- yougotthesilver12
Kansas City Chiefs Football GIF by Fighting Illini AthleticsGiphySchool Is No Place To Have Fun!
"My mom is from Moscow during the Soviet Era, and she is confused why there is no teacher-student hierarchy."
'She thinks it's weird when teachers participate in school plays or speak to students informally."
"She also DOES NOT GET pajama day."
"To her, it's just the weirdest thing in the world."
"In Russia, there is an important distinction between 'clothes for home' and 'clothes for outside'."
"They have a concept of 'home clothes', like your cozy or ugly clothes, that you are supposed to change into after school or work."
"At bedtime, you change out of your 'home clothes' into pajamas."
"As a result, pajamas, for both adults and children, are considered extra-extra private in Russia."
"My mom perceives pajama day as something extreme like wearing only undergarments to school."
"That's how private pajamas are considered to be in Russia!"- racheltolmach2022
A Debate Which Will Likely Never End
"MM/DD/YYYY"- SuvenPan
animation domination calendar GIF by gifnewsGiphyLiving in America comes with a number of advantages and a number of detriments.
Speaking personally though, had I known I wouldn't have to file my own taxes in Australia, I would have expatriated long ago...