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Sex Ed Teachers Share The Funniest Things They've Heard In Class

Sex Ed Teachers Share The Funniest Things They've Heard In Class

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Being a teacher is already hard, but being a teacher for a subject like sexual education comes with a huge set of challenges. The subject matter can sometimes be awkward or uncomfortable, it's hard to ask or answer questions without revealing way too much about yourself, and the materials for sex ed classes are notoriously awful. One Reddit user asked:

Teachers of Sex ed, what is the most funniest/interesting things you've heard?

We picked a few responses from non-teachers as well - cause a great sex question is a great sex question. Obviously, some of the stuff here won't be safe for younger or more sensitive readers. So move forward with caution.

Hear That?

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A guy asked if size mattered when it comes to sex. The teacher replied no and reassured the class it was okay no matter the size. Then the guy that asked the question looked down and said out loud, "Hear that little guy?" Everyone was crying their eyes out from laughter.

Sex While Pregnant

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As a teacher, I was about six months pregnant when a pair of high school girls asked me, "Can you have sex while you're pregnant?" I answered honestly that yes, one can as long as doctor says the pregnancy is normal and one can comfortably do so. They were absolutely scandalized. The looks they gave me for weeks were silently screaming, "OMG she's all big and pregnant having sex!"

Yup, Some Women Ejaculate

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I was in Sex Ed class when I was about eleven years old. When we got onto the subject of ejaculation, the teacher went on to explain that men ejaculate and where it comes from. I put my hand up and asked where a womans ejaculate came from since we didn't produce semen.

I was told that women can't ejaculate.

I was told they can't, my parents were called, and I got into a world of s***.

Mom-Teaching Moment: Failure

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About a year ago my 9 year old son asked about periods, so I explained it in as straightforward and relatively age appropriately way as I could. Basically, every month, a woman's body gets ready to have a baby, and if there isn't a sperm there to fertilize the egg, then the body gets rid of the lining of the uterus and there won't be a baby.

Fast forward to about a month ago, and my son asks me, a little fearfully, "So, do you just kill a baby every month?"

Holy crap, for about a year, he thought I've been killing babies every month!!

Vulva And Volvo Are Not The Same Thing

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In my question box I often received "What is a vulva?"...

As always, I read the question aloud and immediately a student's hand shot up and he goes "ooo! ooo! I know this one"

... I don't usually take student answers during question box time, but he was just so thrilled to know an answer to something that his peers seemingly didn't that to not call on the poor boy would have crushed him. So I did... To which he smiled the biggest smile and proudly exclaimed:

"That's a car!"

I managed to pour tea down my shirt as I did my best to keep from breaking down in the kinds of laughter that destroy a student... He was pretty mortified when I explained what it actually was...

The Series Of Facial Expressions

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A student asked in class about oral sex... We had talked about how it was mouth to nether region contact for sexual stimulation, and the various risks that it carries (STIs/STDs, social stigmas, peer pressure, etc), but he just didn't quite grasp the concept...

Until he did... The series of facial expressions I'll never forget:

  • OH! (excited that he finally figured it out)
  • OH... (awkward and a little grossed out by the concept)
  • Oh. (beet red at the embarrassment of now knowing)
  • Thousand yard stare.

"So, Are You A Virgin?"

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I went to a pretty conservative Catholic grade school and our sex ed (or "reproductive education" as it was called) was, as you might expect was pretty conservative. It stressed abstinence before marriage, masturbation as a sin, etc... The class a year behind me had a kid who was weird, mostly misunderstood, but weird... They were discussing virginity and waiting until marriage and weird kid raises his hand. Teacher stops and calls on him, she was young, unmarried, and pretty hot (many of the middle school boys had a crush on her...). In full deadpan he asks, "So, are you a virgin?" Cue silence in the room... Red-faced teacher composes herself and says that is not appropriate. He shoots back, "So, that's a no..." He was suspended for a week and every student knew.

Bleached

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Am a teacher, the weirdest one wasn't weird because of assumptions, but because I'd never thought about it. Two girls had a passionate discussion during sex ed, whispering fiercely. One decided _*"We can ask the teacher. Miss, why do women bleach their butts?" *_They both were dead serious, looking at me with big eyes. I had to look it up.

Forty-eight Inches

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Not a teacher, but a student at the time. A girl asked the teacher how big a penis can be.

Teacher: On average, four to eight inches.

Girl: Forty-eight inches!?

Class starts laughing lol.

So Unfair

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I'm a science teacher. Teaching about sex is the easiest bit of it because the kids really want to know all about it.

It's difficult when I explain all the changes that girls go through. Like: grow boobs, get special underwear for that, bleed for five days, possibly suffer horrendous pain so that the lining of your uterus can come out into the new thing in your underwear. After that, when I explain what happens to guys some of the girls quite rightly say "so that's all that happens to guys? This is so unfair!"

And I haven't even told them what happens when they are actually pregnant yet.

Ooh Ribbing

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Not a teacher, was a student in the same class as a teacher was passing out condoms for us to see different types. Teacher was quietly droning on about something when suddenly a girl at the back of the class exclaims, "Oooh! Ribbing!"

It was so sudden, and so passionately delivered, that the entire class promptly descended in to hysterics. The condoms were collected quickly by the teacher.

Video Games Are A Good Reason To Abstain

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My brother teaches Sex Ed and has shared a couple entertaining stories.

My favorite is from an exercise his school runs where the students list all the good reasons to have sex and all the good reasons to abstain (trying to get the kids thinking logically about the choice).

He said that every class he ran the exercise with ended up keeping "Fortnite" and "PUBG" as good reasons to abstain.

Where?

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When I was in sex-ed my teacher had the idea of us anonymously writing questions we wanted to know on notecards so we could learn without being embarrassed or calling attention to ourselves. The first question she got was "Where do you put the penis in the vagina?"

She answered "Yes."

Sneezed Out A Tampon

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Sex educator here, middle school through adults. one year, a student interrupted my flow about menstrual tools to say she once sneezed out her tampon and it landed next to her on the sidewalk.

I took a seat at an empty desks in the circle and finally advised that this was yet another reason to wear underwear while bleeding.

Circumcision

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I wasn't a teacher but my mum was.

She once spoke how a bunch of twelve year olds thought you got circumcised the first time you had sex. Like your foreskin would rip off when you lost your virginity.

I can sort of see the logic, sort of similar to people thinking the hymen breaks the first time when a girl has sex.

Wet Math

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This one just happened! My boyfriend had to teach sex ed at his school, and a student slipped him a note that said, "Can you get wet dreams when you're awake in math class?"

My boyfriend didn't know how to answer that. I guess if you had an excellent imagination?

H/T: Reddit

People Divulge Their 'How I Almost Died' Experiences

"Reddit user Typical_XJW asked: 'People who have cheated before, why did you do it?'"

An hourglass with blue sand sits among a field of rocks
Photo by Aron Visuals

Just the other evening, I was walking home, and I barely survived.

I tripped on a dead tree branch.

The next thing I knew, I was flying in the air and landing on my back.

My belongings were strewn about.

And my to-go burger was dead.

A simple walk.

A simple dead branch.

And almost lights out.

Redditor Typical_XJW wanted to hear about the times people eluded death, so they asked:

"How did you almost die?"

Don't even get me started on any and every car ride.

We're always moments from the end on highways.

Back in the Day...

Hunger Games Student GIFGiphy

"Almost drowned when I was 5 or 6, been hospitalized twice for sepsis between 2016 and 2019, and had a stroke this year. I'm 29."

ChristmasKid88

On the Disk

"MRSA infection in the disk on my lower spine between L5 and S1. Showed up two days after a cortisone shot but the hospital said it was from something else. Was in hospital 25 days multiple emergency surgeries."

EatA**FromBack

"I worked for a doctor who did these in-house and other procedures, and it 100% made me not trust medical facilities, cleanliness, and sterilization procedures. Had about twenty patients all come down with the same gut infection, 'coincidentally,' the same patients who came in for endoscopy procedures the same day."

dimlylit_

Saved

"Saving a younger friend from drowning, he panicked and almost took me out."

loztriforce

"Had that happen with a younger cousin when we were kids. His brother and I went to save him, he climbed on both of us and pushed us under. Lifeguard didn’t even see us until he pulled younger cousin out of the water, then we popped up gasping for air."

coffeejunki

Shucked

"16-year-old farm kid me, stepdad told me to go pick up a load of corn seed for planting. I had gone with him many times before, and driven the truck (full ton dually diesel) and hauled light stuff with it. Nobody told me how different it is to haul 10,000 lbs of seed on a big flatbed trailer on gravel. I had a lot of common sense and was driving slowly and carefully."

"Still… 10,000+ lbs pushed me down a gravel hill skidding, praying to god I stopped before the stop sign at the T intersection to a busy highway. I came to a grinding halt JUST as the front of the truck crossed the plane where the gravel turned to asphalt. A semi was coming from one direction and regular cars from the other. I shudder thinking about what if on that one. Don’t let untrained kids tow potentially deadly, heavy trailers, with zero training."

datnetcoder

Finding Tracks

College Sports Sport GIF by Sealed With A GIFGiphy

"Was backwoods camping in Yellowstone and if I hadn’t considered for 30 seconds if I REALLY needed to get up and go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, I would have walked out of my tent headfirst into a brown bear, which I heard before leaving and found tracks of next to my tent in the morning. Spookiest moment of my life in hindsight."

danvo5

Bears are a no go for me.

Camping is an even bigger HECK NO!!

Several Strikes

Reassuring Jimmy Fallon GIF by The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy FallonGiphy

"Twice. 1. Woke up to my apartment on fire."

"2. Hit head-on by a drunk driver on a small bus, just after everyone got off bus exploded."

lizard_king0000

Oh Barb

"Lmao okay, so I was getting my teeth cleaned, and I got nitrous oxide because I have so many exposed roots. Well, my hygienist at the time was this lovely lady from Minnesota. Kinda flaky, but super sweet, and talked about her family all the time. So I'm in the chair and she hooks up my mask, and away we go. I actually fell asleep! Except not so much."

"Turns out Barb had forgotten to turn the oxygen on and had been feeding me straight nitrous. She only noticed because I started gasping for air while unconscious. So that's how I almost died at the dentist. I never saw Barb again, but I tell you, that was the best nap of my life!"

CharismaticAlbino

Climb Up

"I was snorkeling. I had my other stuff stored on a rock by the water, about 3 meters high. When I got out, I decided to climb straight up. Almost at the top, the rock I was hoisting myself up on came off and I fell back first onto the coral. If a friendly wave hadn’t come in, I would have broken my back, at least."

Yugan-Dali

Blood Loss

"I was diagnosed with a rare fatal blood disorder from birth, doctors projected I’d live till about 6 and then die from massive blood loss. As this was the mid-90s, they tested the idea of using stem cells from my sibling's umbilical cord; administering the first successful stem cell transplant from a sibling donor and I’m still here to tell the tale!"

Material_Cry1697

These were some tremendously close calls.

Do you have any near-death experiences to share? Let us know in the comment below.

Paper heart ripped in half
Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

When it comes to the dating scene, most of us have a pretty low opinion of people who choose to cheat on their partners, not to mention serial cheaters.

But that doesn't seem to stop some people from doing the deed.

Curious, Redditor miaah214 asked:

"People who have cheated before, why did you do it?"

Revenge Cheat

"He cheated first, and I was young, petty, and thought revenge would make me feel better."

- Witch_on_a_moped

Immature and Selfish

"Unbridled ego, unsatisfying regular sex life, and a girl who threw herself at me."

"I was an idi*t, I acted like an a**hole, and I will regret it for the rest of my life."

"It was a hard truth to face. It was a dark time in my life where my ego and my immaturity caused me to hurt several people I loved."

"Fortunately, I learned from it, and while I can't take back the pain I caused, at least now I know that I am 100% capable of being an a**hole and so can choose not to be one."

- Seba_King

Insecurity

"Insecurity. I was always on the lookout for someone who would make me feel more desirable than the last. It was a serious youthful lack of judgment."

"Once I grew up emotionally, I realized what a piece of s**t I was and the hurt I caused. Hard to live with, to be honest."

- Penfold_for_PM

Just Desire

"100% pure lust. That’s it. I’m not proud of it."

- mydepressingpoems

Lots of Options

"Willing partners. It was amazing how many times when I did have a steady girlfriend that I would suddenly get propositioned by random women or worse yet, my girlfriend's friends or sisters."

"Too many times to be a fluke."

"It was like they figured if you are in a relationship, you're worth pursuing."

"But when I was single, most times I couldn't get a woman's attention."

"So it was an ego boost, but ultimately, I decided to be a better person, and I met a person who I truly thought was 'the one.'"

"And to a certain extent I did, it just didn't last through no fault of my own."

- Patient-Quarter-1684

In Need of Validation

"When you grow up being in turn neglected and told you're not good enough, validation is like a drug, and intimacy is the ultimate validation."

"Sooooo much therapy to undo this."

- RowhammerBitflip

"This. I’m just recently realizing how I didn’t receive enough attention and validation from my parents and how much it’s influenced my choices. Meeting someone and having them be into me physically is the easiest validation boost I can find."

"People who grew up with parents actually interested in them and with an instilled sense of self-confidence don’t know how good they have it."

"I don’t inherently feel important or relevant so I’m always looking for someone to tell me otherwise."

- tellitothemoon

The Thrill of It

"Because I was a f**king a**hole 20-year-old who only thought of himself and getting some action. The high of it."

"I'm 37 now. No cheating since then."

- Temporary_Fault6402

The Real Joy

"My ex was done in the bedroom and even said they were no longer interested in me physically or sexually."

"I should have left at that point, but with kids and the financial hit of divorce, I just looked to fulfill that need."

"I later divorced, and it was a big financial hit, but oh my god, what a relief it was getting out. Getting out of an abusive relationship is where the true pleasure comes from."

- loomdog1

In Need of Attention

"My partner cheated on me shortly after I had his baby. I wanted to leave, but I convinced myself to stay. The logistics of having a baby and 24-hour care are challenging on your own. He refused to have sex with me."

"At some point, someone got me in a weak spot. Somewhere between exhaustion, low self-esteem, and the sheer opportunity of having an orgasm were too strong for me. I’m deeply ashamed."

"Shortly after I picked myself up, the relationship ended. I should have left sooner."

"Someone telling you that you are beautiful, talented, and special after being invisible can feel like a drug. I don’t expect sympathy from anyone for my actions. But I do have a lot of sympathy for others now."

- throwawaythrowyellow

The Easier Option

"Because I chose a cowardly and easy path. Instead of going to therapy and ending my toxic relationship, I cheated on them with someone who I had convinced myself I was in love with and loved me."

"As it turns out, breaking up with someone is a lot less harmful to everyone involved than cheating."

- dodongosbongos

Devastating Choices

"Not me, but a guy friend cheated and the reason he gave was that he loved his fiancée but they had very different sex drives."

"He also said that when he brought it up to her (the difference in their sex drives and the problems it would cause) she begged him not to leave and insisted it wouldn’t be an issue."

"He told her it already WAS an issue and, as a last resort, she said she would understand if SOME DAY he felt the need to look elsewhere…just as long as she never found out."

"The girl admitted to saying all this but explained that she would have said anything for them to stay together in that moment, she didn’t think he’d actually be 'f**ked up enough to cheat' and she never imagined he would do it so soon."

- Dramiotic

The Perfect Combination

"A perfect storm of poor impulse control, untreated mental illness, and boredom."

"People on the moral high ground will tell you not to cheat for reasons like morality and integrity; from the moral low ground, I can tell you that the lifelong guilt, shame, and remorse are not worth it."

- LowCarbBeesechussy

Emotionally Done

"Because the relationship was done and I was already moving on emotionally. I just didn't care about her enough to care whether she was hurt or not. Honestly, in hindsight, I have zero idea why we were still together. It DID make the eventual breakup a lot messier."

"I was young and it taught me an important lesson. If you're done, just be done and leave. There's no point in dragging it out. If you're ready to start looking for another relationship, start by ending the relationship you're already in."

- codefyre

Ready to Make Up for It

"I had a perceived lack of affection. I felt ugly and disgusting and like I was just an emotional tampon."

"I would never do it again. In therapy, I learned a lot about the reasons I did what I did and in all honesty, if she would even entertain the idea of trying again, I’d spend every day making up for it and making sure she felt more love then can be imagined."

"I’m currently fulfilling into the man I know I can be. I just wish it took a more positive trigger in order to start that for me."

- Anthonys455

Let's end it -- the article, that is -- on a lighter note.

The Worst Kind of Cheating

"My wife wasn’t around. The house was empty."

"I couldn’t wait for her to get home, so I watched the next episode without her knowing."

"Honey, if you’re reading this… I’m so sorry."

- six6sickx

"You're a monster."

- Efficient_Ad_8367

It's so hard to imagine what's going on inside someone else's head or why they might choose to do the things that they do, especially if it's something we don't agree with.

It's at least heartening to see that many of these Redditors used these experiences as learning opportunities and have since gone on to treat the most treasured people in their lives a little differently.

Smartphone showing a lighting switch app
Moritz Kindler/Unsplash

Making yourself feel at home takes work but not as much as you think.

Homeowners, for example, are apprehensive about renovations because of how much costs.

Even tenants renting a home can feel like they're stuck in a situation where they don't feel comfortable because of minor inconveniences they think requires major solutions to fix.

Cut to this Reddit thread, where the ideas for affordable home improvement options were shared that may make you wonder, "Why didn't I think of that?"

Curious to hear some tips from strangers online, Redditor Super_dupa2 asked:

"What small upgrade made a huge difference at your house?"

We tend to overcomplicate things when solutions can be simplified.

Taking Charge

"Methodically buying phone chargers with long enough cables to not have to ever move one again."

– ihadtowalkhere

"I am a pretty mellow dad (benign neglect parenting style for 5 kids) but I have two rules. Nobody messes with my bedside charger and nobody steals my two pillows."

"So, as such, I make many, long chargers available for everybody. It costs me a fortune:)"

– nicktam2010

Hello Darkness, My Old Friend

"Blackout curtains for sleeping. Such a game changer."

– blehbleh1122

"And they keeps my bedroom cooler."

– BunjaminFrnklin

"Insulated blackout curtains make a 10f difference in my living room on hot days."

– TryUsingScience

A Cool Idea

"Attic heat exhaust fan. Our attic used to get up to 140F on the hottest days, and on those days our ceilings were hot to the touch. The whole house was consequently uncomfortable. Now the attic fan is thermostatically controlled to 90 degrees, and the whole house is cooler."

– jermleeds

"I added a passive whirly bird that does the same thing. Heat rises and escapes before it can accumulate to those extreme levels. It also happens to be clear acrylic so now there's always light up there too which helps keep away any vermin.

– cantwejustplaynice

No major bathroom renovations are required to make tenants happy.

No More Slamming

"Soft close cabinets and toilet seats."

– AreWeCowabunga

"We have a soft close toilet seat at our home and every time I'm at a hotel, I completely forget that they aren't usually soft close and the slam startles me 😂"

– PinkHamster08

Nozzle Upgrades Can Do The Trick

"A better shower. If you can't redo the whole bathroom, just replace the head. This also works if you rent, just keep the old one in a box, so you can bring the nice one to your next house."

– maartenvanheek

"I'm a renter and I finally installed a better shower head this year, after just using the default head in all my apartments for almost 20 years. 10/10, highly recommend."

– Am_I_a_Guinea_Pig

Perfect Welcoming Gesture

"My wife and I own a smallish apartment complex . One of the things we do every time a new tenant arrives is replace the toilet seat. I learned that trick from my parents who had about a dozen single-family rentals. It's amazing the goodwill you receive from a tenant simplify giving them a new toilet seat. We actually put the box behind the toilet so they know it's new."

– YouInternational2152

It's electrifying!

Think Smart

"Smart outlets for Christmas lights, both inside and outside. I have them scheduled to turn on at sunset and turn off at midnight."

– Revolutionary-Try746

"Smart outlets are one of my favorite purchases. During Halloween and Christmas, we’re using multiple outlets for inflatables, house lights, and tree lights. The smart outlets allow you to have everything synced so they all turn in at the same time."

– cppadam

Things Are Looking Bright

"Replaced dated lighting fixtures - fixtures are now properly grounded, the interior looks more updated, and there is more/better light."

– SnooCauliflowers9981

Energy Conservation Option

"Motion activated light switch for the laundry room. Never have to worry about turning off the light when leaving with an arm full of clothing."

– AmazingAsian

Creating an environment can make a huge difference.

Source Lighting For The Win

"Lighting can absolutely make a huge difference in the way you feel in your room. Get some shoulder height (when you are sitting) lamps for your living room. You will notice a shift in how much more relaxed you feel when you use those instead of the overheads."

– ShoesAreTheWorst

Home Art Gallery

"Spending a day mounting my artwork. It felt so much more like my home after that."

– GinGimlet

"Every time I've moved, I put that off for way too long, then finally break down and do it and the house feels so much better to be in."

– Triolion

One major upgrade was our VE hybrid tech water boiler and warmer we got from Japan.

The Zojirushi kitchen appliance uses VE, or vacuum electric, technology for very minimal electricity to maintain the water temperature at a constant 195° so we always have hot water at the touch of a button.

There's no more time wasted boiling hot water over the stove every time we want tea or the occasional instant cup noodles.

Game changer.

man with girl on his shoulders

Brittani Burns on Unsplash

"Daddy's Girl, Daddy's Girl, I'm the center of Daddy's world..." ~ "Daddy's Girl" by Red Sovine

A lot has been written about the bond between fathers and daughters.

But there's always room for improvement, right?

And who better to offer constructive criticism than daughters?

Keep reading...Show less