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People Who Married Their 'Better Than Nothing' Partner Describe How It's Going

bride and groom
Olivia Bauso on Unsplash

I've always been told... NEVER SETTLE!

But settling can work out.

You never know.

So what really happened when people settled?


Redditor adambier1587asked:

"People who married their 'better than nothing' option, how’s your marriage going?"

Still Time

"My wife said 'so far so good' but it's only been 35 years so there is still time for change if needed."

Netman-

black and white love GIFGiphy

22 Years

"I feel like we may have both settled because we had a child together, but 22 years in and he’s a better partner than I could have ever dreamed."

armsinstead

"Definitely everything up to the ‘but’ with my wife, things have been good at best and poor recently. Living together before helped some, but damn I underestimated or was decidedly oblivious to the necessity of having a similar level of intelligence, even more so than common ground, for long-term happiness."

Away_Reaction_1628

Give it a shot...

"A coworker got married to their 'better than nothing' six or seven years ago. It was one of those things where both people settled since they were getting older and I guess they figured they'd give it a shot. They went from single to married in eight months."

"Apparently as time went on it only got better for them."

"They both started actively trying to better themselves (seeing therapists, picking up healthy solo hobbies) and learned how to best communicate with each other over that time. They're both in their early 50s now and they act like a happy younger couple whenever we're at work events. It's kinda cool to see."

"Pretty mundane but I wanted to share one that I know that worked out."

Justicles13

Obsessed

"So my marriage is not 'better than nothing,' but I was also never obsessed with my wife the way I have been obsessed with a new person before. Part of the reason I was willing to marry her was because we communicated well, worked with each other to improve each other's lives, and we generally enjoy many of the same things while still retaining who we are individually. The biggest thing is that we both felt physically and emotionally safe with each other."

"I am now obsessed. I love my wife more than I have ever loved anyone."

Xannin

knocking my socks off...

"I think the way you worded this implies that the relationship was shi**y to begin with. I married someone I considered kind of a settle at first. I hadn't had a relationship in over a year and met a girl at a bar and thought, 'she's pretty enough and I like being around her.'"

In Love Hearts GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy

"The thing is, we grew together and I have a very successful and happy marriage despite her not initially knocking my socks off. I think I fit your comments intent but I'm not sure because at no point in our relationship was it so bad I didn't want to be in the relationship anymore."

"I guess what I'm saying is if my story matches your intent, then it can work out. If you meant marrying into a toxic relationship, I don't think you're going to get many success stories."

MrPopo72

So the end can be different from the beginning. Good to know.

It was devastating...

"I think I am the better than nothing spouse. About a month ago I found out. It was devastating."

Sad Rabbit GIF by Muffin & NutsGiphy

"For 17 years she settled for me despite not truly loving me. Life was hard but we had each other or so I thought. The moment we talked about how bad things got she asked for a divorce and I lost my best friend and sole person who I felt I trusted enough to talk to. I move out tomorrow to rebuild my life."

Kierik

The Turning Point

"I don't know if this is exactly what you're after, but my husband and I got together as single parents. When you do that, you're choosing as much for the kids as for you. You actually don't know what kind of couple you are on your own. And when the kids grew up, after over a decade together, we had to figure that out for the first time."

"It started out good for maybe the first 4-5 years, then went really rocky in the kid's teens. Turns out as they needed us less, we really didn't have enough common ground in a lot of ways - in particular, I had emotional and emotional-labour needs that weren't being met."

"We discussed divorce several times, but at our peak crisis point, decided to work on it because one of our kids had just had a bereavement (death of the other parent). And honestly, it still wasn't working that well and maybe still would have ended in divorce, but then I had a terrible work situation that lasted a year, and he really stepped up."

"That was the turning point. I was able to let go of my resentments about all the times I'd carried us, because at some point he'd done enough that I didn't feel baited-and-switched anymore. Then the kids grew up and we had to learn to be a couple on our own together."

"That took time, but we'd sort of grown and changed into a better match by then. We're really solid now, have been for probably the last five years or so. But it's been a team endeavour to get it that way and keep it there, it's not something that just happens."

nurseynurseygander

Love & Loss

"Was married for 10yrs, got 2 kids out of it and some of the happiest years of my life. We both pretty much settled for each other. Eventually both concluded that we just weren't right for each other and cut it off but I don't have any regrets about it. Without her I definitely would have been one of the people out there that are forever alone. So I definitely would agree with the 'better to have loved and lost' saying."

FerretsAteMyToes

Option in my 30's

"I married my 'better than nothing' option in my 30s. We both understood what we had waited for and committed ourselves fully to the marriage. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I had married my 'preferred option' and I realize that the love I feel from the person I married is so much better than the 'preferred option' would have been."

"I never did convince the preferred option to date me, while the woman I'm married to now found me easy to love. In other words, my romantic self is an idiot and my better than nothing was actually better than everything."

eileyle

42

"My parents got married because they were considered old in their church (they were 26 and 24…) and they both wanted kids. My mom told me that is was the practical thing to do, haha! Luckily they hit it off, and though it took a lot of time and work, they are annoyingly in love and have been married for 42 years next month."

Islanduniverse

in love kiss GIFGiphy

So good enough can turn into the perfect choice.

Good to know...

People Explain Which Brands Have Their Undying Loyalty

Reddit user Loesser asked: 'Which brand are you actually loyal to and why?'

white and blue kanji print card
Photo by Slidebean on Unsplash

Everyone has those brands that they love and will stay loyal to until their dying day.

For me, that brand is Bryers. Whenever I go to the store for ice cream, I first check to see if Bryers has the flavor I want on sale before I settle for anything else. If it's been a while, I sometimes splurge and just buy it at full price. That's because, to me, Bryers is the gold standard when it comes to ice cream.

Redditors have those brands that have their undying loyalty are ready to share which brands those are.

It all started when Redditor Loesser asked:

"Which brand are you actually loyal to and why?"

Life Changing

"Scrub Daddy makes one hell of a sponge."

– kbups53

"I'd been aware of them forever. "Just a sponge," I thought."

"Tried them last month and my mind is blown."

– gehanna1

Sparkling Dishes

"Dawn dishwashing liquid cuts through grease like crazy. Mix it equal parts with white vinegar for an excellent bath rub soap scum remover."

– Aunt-jobiska

"I used to wash dishes in a restaurant. A LOT of dishes. They rotated through a few food service-grade dish soaps for a while, which I always assumed would be a little stronger because they're commercial-grade, and they aided in destroying my hands every night (steel scrubbers and hot water certainly played a major role, of course."

"Then we switched to Dawn. It wasn't some special food service formula, just regular Dawn. Same exact blue one you get at any grocery or convenience store. That was the first time I would soak the hardest-baked-on crap and practically be able to wipe it off after 15 minutes. I have never found a soap even close."

– Lothar_Ecklord

Q's Way Or The Highway

"Q-Tips."

"Every other cotton swab is inferior, and I think I've tried them all. Either there isn't enough cotton, or the stick is too flimsy. Only Q-tips get it right."

– CA1900

Strong And Sturdy

"Osprey. Super comfortable hiking backpacks, and their lifetime warranty is actually legit. They will repair or replace any damage or defect for any reason on any model ever made."

– RustyPickles

"I beat the sh*t out of mine and it’s in perfect shape. All the zippers work, no rips… amazingly constructed bags."

– CurtMoney

"My company gifted me one this year and I am in awe! I love useful backpacks and i always saw them and never went for it….so glad I have one now because I take it everywhere and I’m so confused how the little guy fits so much."

– imhereforthemeta

Quick Facts

"Not sure if this counts but Wikipedia - I've been donating since given the option and I appreciate that it's remained generally unchanged unlike most modern platforms/services."

– TaalKheru

"Yesterday while chatting with my wife I mentioned how I donate Wikipedia every year. She had no idea and it blew her mind a little bit, she asked me why and I tried to explain just how frequently I use that site. Any time I remember some random historical event or criminal case or famous scientist etc. etc. I'm straight to Wiki. It's an absolute treasure trove of useful and useless information alike and I f**king love it."

– thewokestlocust

All Intents And Purposes

"Victorinox - cuz Swiss Army knives rock, and they make great watches too. Add top-notch customer service, and they've made me a happy customer for life."

"Edit: forgot about my awesome Swiss Army card that a friend brought back for me from Geneva. I keep it in my car, and it's pretty fantastic too."

– ISmellElderberries

Created To Last

"Fiskars. Everything they do is top quality. That brand is like a national treasure to Finnish people. They do plenty of products with metal and plastic and pretty much everyone around here has had a pair of Fiskars scissors for up to 20 years. Sure, their products are more expensive but they're made to work and last for an eternity."

– hiemanturha

"Everyone else always complained about their "house scissors," how horribly dull and awkward to use they were, and I never understood -- my "house scissors" were indestructible and so sharp I wasn't allowed to touch them until I was 10. A few decades later I realized why: they're Fiskars. Those scissors are older than I am, and they're still going strong."

– ClearBrightLight

None Other

"Ain’t no cream cheese like Philadelphia cream cheese."

– shavemejesus

"In Brazil cream cheese is just basically called "Philadelphia.""

– mrubuto22

Just Easier

"Brother Printers, especially the laser variant. It just keeps working and there is no cartridge nonsense like that other brand."

"I would recommend it to everyone, always. Nobody ever has issues with them."

– mahade

"Their software is also far less obnoxious. Pretty solid brand for <$500 printers."

– AlmostRandomName

The Best Store

"Costco. It's not too expensive of a membership, and you get some great savings on gas (pretty big here in California) and buy in bulk items. Of course, I probably buy a bit more than I need to for my family, but the 3 month hassle-free return policy is very generous. It's kind of a game changer for expensive devices like laptops since we can always return them if they suddenly break within the first few weeks or were defective."

"Not to mention the $1.50 hot dogs, average but affordable clothes (esp. socks & underwear), and Costco Travel isn't half bad with some of the discounts when it comes to rental car & hotel packages. Sure there's cheaper ways to get stuff out there, but, generally speaking, Costco delivers pretty good value for the price."

– imbearnanas

Saving Me Money

"Aldi. They were there for me when I was broke and currently keep me from going broke with grocery prices these days. Some of their brands are superior in my opinion eg. salsa."

– gomez1608

​Inactive Choosing

"OXO. Most of their kitchen stuff is fantastic. I don't deliberately set out to buy OXO, but it winds up being the best choice on a lot of things."

– VinLeesel

Everything Else Pales In Comparision

"Heinz Ketchup. Not Hunts, nor Red Gold, especially not Sir Kensington."

– rich-lol

Old Faithful

"Honda, both cars and motorcycles. That sh*t just does not break."

– Adddicus

Honda is the definition of reliable. Those are the kinds of brands to stand behind!

A young man stands on a hill and waves a smoke signal
Photo by Chinh Le Duc

Nobody is perfect.

That is lesson number one when looking for love.

No one person is going to check off every box.

So that means that every red flag or warning is not life-altering.

That is called compromise.

But as long as they aren't buying bodies and storing organs... there is a lot that people can handle.

Redditor Cerseiriously wanted to hear about what warning signs people can live with when courting romance, so they asked:

"What’s a red flag you don’t mind so much in a potential SO?"

I can handle cheap.

Well, frugal.

Cheap to waiters? No.

But frugal for the future? Yes.

I Get It

Stop Motion Yes GIF by MouseGiphy

"Someone who isn't close to their own family. I'm not close with mine, either. I'd actually think it was refreshing to be with someone who understood and felt the same way."

JoeyTepes

Can't Commit

"A certain type of dating history. Everyone has their own style of dating. For example, Person A has a history of 3-4 year LTR but has never married while Person B doesn't have any relationships beyond 6 months. Person A thinks it's a red flag that Person B 'can't commit' when the reality is they simply end a relationship they don't see going long-term."

"On the other side, Person B thinks it is Person A who can't commit based on the fact they have years-long relationships but don't progress. It's all relative to how you compare the person's history to your own style of dating."

FunctionCreepy2096

As an older person...

"Not having a lot of prior relationships (as an older person). When I met my husband, he was 34 and had had only one serious relationship up until that point which was 15 years prior."

"Now I know a lot of people would see that as a waving red flag and think there was something 'wrong' with him, but the reality was he was in a male-heavy specialty (engineering college to an engineering job), had a job where he traveled about 90% of the time and, when I met him, had just moved back to the area where he had grown up after being away for over 10 years."

"None of that was conducive to meeting people or a relationship and, beyond that, he's not a particularly social person or someone who really revels in the company of others, which didn't help."

"We met online, we clicked, we started dating, we got married 2 years later, and are still married 18 years later."

Sniffy73

In Person

"Not being very communicative or chatty through text. Some people simply aren’t into texting. I dated a guy who was like that. At first, I took his lack of communication and short answers as not being interested… when in reality, he simply wasn’t much of a texter. I just accepted that’s how he was. In person he was great."

sweet_dream515

Dear Mama

Hocus Pocus Halloween GIFGiphy

"'How a man treats his mother is a sign of how he'll treat you so be careful.'"

"Or if he dislikes his mom, doesn't want to help her, be there for her, talks bad about her. It could be because she's horrible and it's just a sign of how she treated him."

Prestigious-Phase131

Oh the mommy issues never end,

Love her. Hate her.

It'll all get covered in therapy.

The Socials

Social Media Facebook GIFGiphy

"I’ve been told my lack of social media is a major turn-off and a major red flag. But I find a guy that doesn’t have any social media or very little attractive. It’s all about perspective."

asterbluesapphire

I blame all the Wattpad stories...

"I don't mind some mild (MILD) possessiveness. In fact, I think it's kind of hot. I blame all the Wattpad stories I consumed during my formative years."

_hootyowlscissors

"Same! My husband and I joke that we're both stage 5 clingers to each other 😂 not really that bad as we don't control each other but we're best friends, have all the same hobbies, and love spending all of our free time together. There's nothing better than a hard day's work and coming home to someone who is excited to see you, even if it's just a Monday."

Buffyfanatic1

No Mingle

"Someone who’s been single for a long time! I find jumping from partner to partner more concerning. Some people never figure out who they are on their own."

geminibaby

"You just described me, I got to a point where I am not just going to jump into a relationship with someone not compatible like I used to do before I knew who I was, I’d rather be single, but when people find out how long I’ve been single they think it’s a massive red flag."

Just_improvise

Tell Me More

"Absorbed in their hobbies/their work. I love that. Go buck wild, even if it’s obsessive. Also because bruh I have a terrible rest/production ratio. I need someone who understands. LOL."

Probablyawerewolf

"I see you've met my partner. Well, he's a grad student, so he doesn't have much of a choice in his workoholism. I'm trying to get him to balance it out a little bit, but I love his passion. He could spend hours telling me about his research, about a conference, or just about a paper he read once, and I love listening to that."

smallangrynerd

Let Go

friends cling GIF by Nick At NiteGiphy

"Clinginess. I like it when she always wants to be around me and up under me."

​FruitSnackEater

Cling. In love. Dependent. Co-Dependent. In love.

Is there really a difference?

Person taking picture of the clouds from their seat on flight
Photo by Leo on Unsplash

For some people, flying is the epitome of great travel and adventure. The thought of entering the air is exhilarating.

For others, however, flying is to be avoided unless totally necessary. There's an underwater highway connecting the continents, right? Or an impossibly strong bridge?

But as laughable as it might seem to see someone dread flying, sometimes there's a key experience that can explain all of those negative feelings they have connected to buckling up and locking their tray tables.

Curious about others' experiences, Redditor prettyKaitlynn asked:

"What's the most horrifying thing you've experienced on a flight?"

The Sudden Loss of a Loved One

"On a red-eye flight, everyone was asleep, but I can't sleep on planes. A few rows behind me, a girl started screaming, 'Mama!? MAMA!?'"

"The flight attendants walked over and then ran back. Then ran over holding a defibrillator. Then they walked the hysterical girl, who looked to be about a teenager, to the front of the plane. Then they walked back with blankets."

"When the plane landed, no one was allowed to move. A stretcher came on board and wheeled the blanket-covered body out. The sobbing girl followed behind."

"I can't imagine losing a parent on a flight, with nowhere to go and no way to contact anyone else for help, surrounded by nosy strangers in tight quarters."

- KnittinAndB***hin

"Oh my god, that poor girl. I traveled a lot with my mom when I was her age, visiting my big brother at college. I can’t even imagine the horror of this situation and how traumatic that must have been. I hope she is happy and thriving somewhere now…"

- doodle_d**ks3000

Fallen Flight 4184

"On Halloween night in 1994, I was on a United flight from Vancouver to Chicago."

"Back then, 'Channel 9' on the inflight entertainment system let you listen to air traffic control. That night as we approached Chicago, I was listening to Channel 9 when suddenly ATC told all the other planes to quiet down."

"Then they started calling over and over for another flight, American 4184, and asking the other planes if anyone else could see an ATR."

"This went on for a few minutes and then, CLICK, channel 9 was switched off. I felt a chill go down my spine."

"When I got to my hotel, I switched on CNN."

"Flight 4184 had gone down in a field in Indiana and everyone was dead."

- CohibaVancouver

Worthy of 'Final Destination'

​"Just after takeoff from Ixtapa Mexico, we were climbing out over the ocean at about 1000 feet when I looked out my window. Headed directly at me about 500 feet away was a twin-engine Beechcraft (I think). I would guess it was three to four seconds from impact."

"Fortunately, the pilot of the aircraft saw us and pulled up sharply just in time, missing us by maybe 25 feet."

"My wife, who's deathly afraid of flying, asked me, 'What was that?' I said, 'Nothing,' and pretended nothing had happened until we were on the ground in the US, and then I told her."

"Without question, if that pilot had pulled up even a second or two later, everyone on board both planes would have been dead."

- lobeams

Fear of Flying

"As soon as the engines revved up for take-off, a woman started screaming like she was dying."

"The flight attendants couldn’t get up to go to her until the pilot rang the bell, about five to ten minutes. She was screaming the entire time."

"Turns out her daughter put her on the flight even though she was terrified of flying. An attendant held her hand the entire flight, walked her all the way to meet the other daughter, and told her to never put mom on an airplane ever again."

- zenos_dog

"Just so everyone knows, if you are afraid of flying, tell the stewards when getting on the plane."

"They will make sure you are checked in and will pay special attention to you to make it easier."

- DeezNeezuts

What Dreams Are Made Of

"Flying out of Chengdu China in the early 80s on an old Russian turboprop, It was a wicked snowstorm, and I thought there was no way we were taking off in that mess. Visibility was only a few hundred feet."

"I looked around in panic and I realized the guy sitting across the aisle from me was the spitting image of Buddy Holly. I recall thinking that if this guy pulled a guitar out of the overhead bin and started singing 'Peggy Sue,' we were all f**ked."

- WeekendDesigner4734

"Oh sweet, you're a Steven King character."

- moslof_flosom

Allergic to... Flying?

"This was in 2015 (luckily not during the pandemic as I probably would have been kicked off the flight). But suddenly I felt a tickle in my throat, so I started coughing."

"But I COULD NOT STOP COUGHING. No matter what I did, I could not get that tickle out. The people around me were understanding, but I decided to go to the back of the plane just to be courteous."

"The flight attendants gave me ice and that was the only thing that would give me any sort of relief."

"We finally landed. That night, I went to bed and woke up at 5:00 AM with a swollen shut eye, huge f**king lips, hives ALL over my body, and a tightness in my chest."

"Turns out I was having a severe allergic reaction to something I ate (?) at the airport or something on the plane. My throat was literally CLOSING on the plane. That’s why the ice was helping because it was bringing down the swelling."

"But here’s the weird f**king thing. I’ve never been allergic to anything in my life before OR since that incident. So it’s a huge freaking mystery. The hives also showed up in different places on my body each morning for two weeks after."

- TheReinsOfFullNight

Take Off Mysteries

"On a flight from San Francisco to Denver. The plane was loaded and it was time to take off, but we just sat at the gate. The pilot announced we would be leaving soon and that we were late taking off because they had to balance out the luggage."

"Finally around 30 minutes after we were supposed to take off, the plane backed out and went to the runway. Once again, we just sat on the tarmac, this time for another 30 minutes. The pilot got on the PA again and said we had to return to the gate because the plane was low on fuel from all the idling."

"Back at the gate, three armed law enforcement officers entered the plane and escorted a man off. After that, the pilot announced that we were finally ready to take off and that the previous wait was actually due to a security issue."

- TXRichardCranium

Unforgettable Turbulence

"Just (but didn’t feel like 'just' at the time) really bad turbulence; people’s purses hit the ceiling of the cabin and I think some people who weren’t belted in injured themselves too. People were screaming, praying, and crying (I was in that last category)."

"I wasn’t crazy about flying before, but that experience put me into phobia territory and I didn’t fly after that for probably about ten years, and still weigh it as a cost-to-benefit thing whenever I travel. It’s helped a bit to learn that turbulence isn’t really a thing that causes plane crashes, as far as I now understand, but it can feel very different in that moment to the illogical mind."

- bottleglitch

Oh, the Humanity

"On an airplane, but not technically a flight."

"Sitting at the end of the runway, the pilot was doing his pre-flight or something. There was a fireball in one of the engines. Passengers panicked, flight attendants popped the emergency doors, and the emergency slides deployed."

"It was mayhem; people knocking others down, crawling over the seats, lots of screaming. Several people were injured."

"Of those I saw, one man fell off the wing; I found out later he broke his arm and collarbone. Another fell off the middle of the slide. She went away holding her wrist, not sure of what happened. The guy in front of me on the slide tumbled face-first at the bottom of the slide, and got up with a bloodied face."

"Emergency slides are not fun. It's not like in the movies."

"The ironic thing was, there was no danger to the aircraft or passengers."

- chileheadd

Not a Question You Want to Hear

"The scariest thing was being asked by the guy on the other side of the plane if there was oil spraying out of the engine on my side, too."

- cablemonkey604

Happily Ever After

"We took off after a seven-hour delay. The plane climbed for a little bit and went into a pretty tight bank turn."

"The Captain came on and said there was smoke in the cabin, and we were going in for an emergency landing. As we were coming in, there were the fire trucks and emergency vehicles waiting for us."

"Long story short... it was a wiring harness for the coffee maker. They swapped it out without even having to deplane. We got free drinks for the rest of the flight."

- Bigkid6666

No Small Talk Welcome

"We barely had our butts in the seat and a woman turned to us and said, 'Are you two teachers?' as an icebreaker."

"We responded with 'no,' and then she said, well, she was a teacher, and she then proceeded to talk THE ENTIRE nine-hour flight about herself."

"My husband pretended to fall asleep within the hour, and I find it painfully hard to stop conversations with friendly people, so all I could do was listen to her ramble."

"Ugh, AND we were seated right beside the toilets which smelt of old pee."

- No-Lack4969

"That would be my personal h**l. Just let me read my book, lady."

- Ninyu

Chaos Ensues

"Captain here. Two hours in on an early flight, and the in-charge Flight Attendant advises us we have run out of coffee."

- scooterjay2013

A Strange Turn of Events

"I had a woman next to me on a 15-hour flight, with two kids under the age of five. She sat next to me with the kids on the aisle, and the first thing she did was apologize for what was to come."

"It was terrible, stuff constantly knocked onto the floor, a drink spilled on my leg... but that was just the woman herself."

"She soon swapped seats, and the kids just did normal kid stuff. They were not so bad at all, aside from the occasional accidental bump when they squirmed, while she continued to drop stuff on the floor: food, drink, phone, basically anything on her tray table was going to be on the floor sooner or later."

- FrightenedOfSpoons

"This weirdly sounds like something out of a rom-com."

"Her: 'I'm sorry for the trouble that will be caused.'"

"Him: 'I understand, kids will be kids.'"

"'No, I mean me, I'm a super klutz when flying.'"

"Strangers to Lovers. Annoyance softens to Endearment."

"Instant love story."

- saruhime

A Fuzzy Passenger

"Flying in a small eight-seater from the mainland to an island, a kitten got loose, climbed over the pilot's shoulder, and generally was frantic."

"That's the type of scene that disaster movies start with!"

- GSVNoFixedAbode

"Something similar happened on a flight. It was kind of funny, though, because the pilot got on the P.A. to ask whoever was missing a kitten to please come to retrieve it, in a very official, somewhat annoyed, pilot-ey voice. Pure comedy."

- ljuko

While some of these stories were amusing in the end, most of these were absolutely chilling, and it's no wonder that these Redditors don't enjoy flying or refuse to travel by airplane ever again.

It's pretty safe to say, honestly, that most of us would choose the same thing if we experienced something like this.

Woman grabbing her lower back as if in pain
Sasun Bughdaryan/Unsplash

"Sex is not fun," said nobody ever.

Let's face it: giving in to our primal urges and engaging in various forms of sex is a natural way of having fun and enjoying our bodies.

Until something goes wrong in the heat of the moment.

People don't think about it, but the truth is, sex and pain are not mutually exclusive.

But pain is not a typically the desired outcome.

Strangers online shared their experiences that didn't lead to a happy ending when Redditor Kurkil asked:

"Have you ever had a sex injury? If so, what happened?"

People made surprising discoveries after the fact.

Accessory To Pain

"After bar in a pretty aggressive makeout session. Something felt weird so I excused myself to the restroom. Looked in the mirror and saw that her hoop earring had impaled my cheek and was just dangling off the side of my face."

"Pulled it out, swabbed some rubbing alcohol on it, and got back to business. It was super weird because there was literally no pain at all. Like it must've missed every nerve ending"

– ManBroCalrissian

Upon Oral Examination

"I have 'jaw and throat sprain from vigorous oral sex' in my medical record.....I went to emergency thinking I had mumps. I did not."

– elletee80

People got more than they bargained for while getting some action.

What The Buck

"I once dislocated my shoulder while going down on my girlfriend. I had my arms under her legs and she jerked one leg suddenly, hitting my upper arm and dislocating it."

"In the emergency room, the person doing intake listened to our story and said 'I’m going to put down "horseplay" to which my girlfriend replied, 'what am I, a horse?'”

– avec_serif

Literally Mind-Blowing

"Pretty standard: bent the pole between thrusts."

"Pretty rare: During a BJ I got Transient Global Amnesia (TGA) which caused me to lose the previous 48 hours. It can be triggered by orgasm and it was scary AF. Forgot how I got where I was, where I was going, who I was meeting. I remembered my name, address, family etc but had no idea what day of the week it was... it all came back after 24 hours with the exception of a 20min period."

– haylofx

Bigger Isn't Always Better

"When I was single and dating around, thoroughly enjoying my divorce, I would chat with my female friends about my encounters with men. It wasn't a secret that I prefer them big. Then one day, I met this guy who was gorgeous, smart, funny, great kisser, EVERYTHING I could have ever asked for! We go to the bedroom, his unir is too big. It was painful. Tried it again a few weeks later, because your cervix changes during certain times of your cycle. Still doesn't fit. Had to say goodbye to that one..."

– Dependent_Top_4425

Aggressive Pole-Rider

"Bent my unit in half to the point I screamed and rolled over."

"Next day she showed up with an ice cream cake saying 'sorry I broke your d*ck written on it.'"

"Said the guy at dairy queen lost his sh*t while writing it."

– Spenraw

Miscalculation

"Went to flip over onto my back for missionary, overestimated how much bed was there, fell off the side and slashed my back on the edge of the dresser."

– cheeezus_crust

Beware of liquids.

The Ole Switcheroo

"Not mine but a friend. Hand sanitizer and lube in similar containers near the bed resulted in a sanitized vagina."

– lopaco93

Effects Of Alcohol

"Not an injury per se, but we had to stop and I had to run to the shower immediately."

"We had both been drinking and decided to move it into the bedroom. I was on top. We were both super into it and I grabbed the bottle of whiskey and took a big swig straight from the bottle. He thought it was hot and decided he wanted to do a shot off my body... he missed some, and it continued down... I was really into what was happening, so it took a second for the pain to register."

"Holy sh*t, that burned. I hopped off of him, explaining that I felt like I had been set on fire, and ran to the shower to hose off."

"Lesson learned - whiskey does not belong anywhere near there."

"Still one of my favorite sex fail stories."

– Katemonster89

Lesson Learned

"I learned the hard way never to got eat hot wings and then go down on your date. I thought I was doing a good job, I got a black eye from her heel from it 🤦♂️"

– houseDJ1042

Safe sex is important.

But no one ever thought that would ever extend beyond protecting oneself from getting STDs.

Let's just say an emergency trip to the hospital can come with quite the story.